#trans vana

[flowrx-luc]

Trans vana!!!!

A další dírské čmáranice

[scalecallerpeak]

Yūkiai (Gay and Trans Man) & Vanae (Pansexual @tharayya)

[ectobiologistt]

can i j say how much i adore this game

[takovanormalnielie]

1.11.2023

Jídlo, vana, zolpidem, práce, jídlo, vana, zolpidem, práce... Včera byla trocha euforie po tom, co jsem si poprvý zkusila fishnets, ale následovala těžká dysforie. Ramena, paže, břicho a ta naprosto odporná brada... Nikdy nebudu passovat. Nikdy si neobleču sukni a fishnets ven. Navždycky se v tom budu schovávat doma jako malá škaredá zrůdička. Snažim se, fakt se snažim bejt pozitivní a vím, že je spousta trans lidí, který nepassujou a stejně jim to sekne, umí to nosit a já neskutečně obdivuju jejich sebevědomí, ale já to prostě nejsem. Pak si připadám špatně, jako bych se za sebe pořád styděla a možná pořád jo. Dlouhý roky internalizovaný transfobie se těžko přemazávaj. Chci bejt jenom šťastná, hezká a vklidu a tichosti si dál žít svůj život.

[vancilocs]

1-9 and 25 for a royaltines pair and carmina and ivana?

reading these questions like i dont know what the hell these tropes mean. do i need to do homework to find out what a killer queen is

who fell first, and who fell harder?

merope fell first and harder bc she was a romantic girl who read her little romance novels and poems day in day out. yeah she did get knocked down by the wedding but it was all uphill from there

carmina was interested first, downright brave of her

their hypothetical godly parents (or a deity they could embody in a mythological setting).

religion is not my strong suit

soldiers, poets, or kings?

fenrir is a pretty straightforward king with the outbursts of a soldier and the flakiness of a poet. merope is more of a soldier, happy with the 9-to-5

carmina is a soldier

the olive theory according to them (and their palate).

fenrir is a garbage disposal, he'll eat anything so merope can hand him all the things she doesn't like. fenrir has a habit of making sure merope eats so he's often handing her foodstuffs he knows she'll like, and she hands him treats in return too

carmina is picky, she will just hand whatever she doesn't want to ivana if she indicates it's okay

who's the ‘good old-fashioned lover boy’, and who's the ‘killer-queen’?

i'm not sure if either fits merope, meanwhile fenrir is a bit of both

both are kinda killer queens but ivana more. carmina isn't really a lover boy either

go-to pet names they have for each other, if any.

sweetie, honey, sunshine (softly but sarcastically when fenrir is in a bad mood), darling, my love, meri, fen

carmina calls ivana either vana/vanya or cara

what are their star signs? (i know nothing about astrology, but it's funky so out with it!)

i also know nothing about astrology and i know even less about the astrologic system i couldn't bother to come up with

their sexual orientations and/or gender identities.

pan/poly cis man and cishet woman

cis lesbian and trans lesbian

soulmates by fate/chance or by choice?

kinda by chance, fenrir just happened to meet merope while visiting her family and she just happened to be reading a poetry book and when fenrir said he hadn't read This Specific Book (as if he's ever read a book in his life) she just happened to read a poem to him out loud and he was like wow ok you're cute. they also had a lot of growing up and into each other to become soulmates

chance, carmina's funeral home happened to be the first one ivana found to help her be rid of orion's corpse he so helpfully left for her.

one to five tropes they embody or could pull off in an AU.

uhhh i'm really bad at this. they could do rivals to lovers. or fake dating

[chrancecriber]

Chilltrax (May 31, 2023)

23:57 Feiertag - Saccharine 374 23:57 C H I L L T R A X - Cleanliness Don't You Agree 23:53 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 23:49 Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted (Aquadrop Remix) 23:45 Leaving Laurel - The Family We Find 23:41 Andre Aguado - Through The Night 23:36 Northern Form - Mend 23:36 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 23:32 Jones Meadow - Paint 23:27 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 23:23 Teemid - L.a. 23:18 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 23:13 Deep Sound Effect Feat. Svetlana Voice - Dreaming About You (Dj Aristocrat Remix) 23:09 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 23:09 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel Redux 23:05 Valante - Vana 23:01 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 22:57 Edapollo Feat. Akacia - Run 22:54 Emmit Fenn - What Falling In Love Is For 22:51 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 22:48 Armin Van Buuren Feat. James Newman - Therapy (Sebastian Davidson Remix) 22:48 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 22:44 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 22:40 Tep No Feat. Starzun - Hold Me 22:37 Rocket Empire - Lima 22:33 Leisure - Slipping Away (Flight Facilities Remix) 22:32 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 22:29 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 22:26 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 22:22 Childish Gambino - Feels Like Summer 22:17 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 22:13 Shingo Nakamura - Focus 22:13 C H I L L T R A X - Jimpster 1 22:08 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 22:05 Henry Green - Realign 22:01 Arto - Now You're Gone 21:56 Chris Malinchak - Saving My Love 21:52 Beacon - Im U 21:52 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 21:48 Heard Right & Fløa - Enough 21:44 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 21:40 53 Thieves - Heights 21:36 Sons Of Maria - It Takes So Long 21:36 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 21:31 Blonde Maze - A Break In Continuity (Forty Cats Remix) 21:27 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 21:23 Eric Hilton Feat. Brian Jackson - Something For Byrd 21:18 Tsha - I Know 21:18 C H I L L T R A X - Cool Refreshed Smooth As Can Be 21:14 Everything But The Girl - Forever 21:11 Odesza Feat. Maro - Better Now 21:07 Kc Lights Feat. Leo Stannard - Cold Light (6am Remix) 21:02 Blank & Jones - Floatation 20:57 Massive Attack - Teardrop 20:57 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 20:52 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 20:47 Mass Digital - Thoughts Of U 20:43 Sum Wave - Moments Of Sundown 20:39 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 20:36 Che Jose Feat. Jodie Knight - Freedom (Mass Digital Remix Edit) 20:35 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 20:32 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 20:27 Baile & Haulm - Knows No End 20:23 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 20:19 Approaching Black - Sensitive 20:14 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Let's Get It Right 20:14 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 20:11 Indigo Eyes Feat. Kehina - All Over Again (Remix) 20:07 Flexible Fire - Amatista 20:04 Armin Van Buuren & Matoma Feat Teddy Swims - Easy To Love 20:00 Alampa - Playoff 19:56 Slow Hearts - Endora 19:55 C H I L L T R A X - Take Me Away! 19:52 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 19:47 A.m.r & Lumynesynth - Unfinished 19:43 Palladian - Zagara 19:39 Edapollo - Standing There 19:35 Khotin & Tess Roby - Fountain, Growth 19:35 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 19:31 Maxxim - Waterfalls 19:28 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 19:25 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Relapse 19:20 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 19:17 Boerd Feat. Stella Explorer - Another Life 19:12 Cinnamon Chasers - Surviving The Fire 19:12 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 19:09 Bonsaye - Kismet 19:05 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 19:02 53 Thieves - Two Days 18:58 Jos & Eli & Eli & Fur - Riffs Of The Night 18:55 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 18:51 Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time (Chilltrax Mix) 18:51 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 18:45 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 18:41 Cannons - Tunnel Of You 18:37 Il:lo - Ink 18:32 Nox Vahn & Marsh - Come Together 18:32 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 18:27 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 18:22 Two Lanes - Movement 18:18 Heard Right Feat. Phoebe Tsen - Pulling Me Under 18:14 Elderbrook - The End 18:09 Zaven - Passive Activity (Evren Furtuna Remix) 18:09 C H I L L T R A X - Fresh And Fascinating 18:04 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 18:00 Washed Out - Too Late 17:56 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 17:52 Tep No - Say What You Wanted 17:49 Tycho - See (Beacon Remix) 17:49 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel, Chilltrax 17:45 Holen - Breathe 17:40 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 17:35 Syml & Zero 7 - Symmetry (Zero 7 Remix) 17:29 Leaving Laurel - There Is Beauty When You Allow Yourself To See 17:29 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 17:26 Forester - Saint (Shallou Remix) 17:23 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 17:20 Sum Wave - Milkyway 17:16 Drama - 3am 17:16 C H I L L T R A X - We Are The Music Makers 17:12 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 17:08 Lp Giobbi Feat. Dj Tennis & Joseph Ashworth - All In A Dream 17:05 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson - Follow 17:01 Fakear - Crystal 16:57 Rhye - Summer Days (Roosevelt Remix) 16:57 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 16:54 Everything But The Girl - Run A Red Light 16:50 Mango & Cloudcage - More Than This 16:45 Above And Beyond - Sun In Your Eyes (William Orbit Remix) 16:40 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 16:35 Sound Quelle & Tailor - Where We Should Be 16:35 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 16:32 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 16:27 Royksopp - Beautiful Day Without You 16:23 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 16:18 Jones Meadow - Fences 16:14 Leisure - Take You Higher (Serebii & Arjuna Oakes Remix) 16:14 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 16:10 Avira & Nourey Feat. Tom Bailey - Favourite Game 16:07 Dreem - Miles Away 16:02 Nils Hoffmann Feat. Julia Church - 9 Days 15:58 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 15:53 Marsh - Me & You (Joe Miller Remix) 15:53 C H I L L T R A X - Tcc Warm And Tender Ocean 15:49 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 15:45 London Grammar - Baby It's You 15:40 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 15:37 53 Thieves - Waves 15:33 Phello - Timelapse 15:33 C H I L L T R A X - Be Svendsen World Comes 15:28 Sao Miguel Feat. Sebastian Reynoso - Hope In Balance (Wisternoff-grant Remix) 15:25 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 15:21 Kidnap - Start Again (Kidnap Piano Mix) 15:17 Rocket Empire - Astoria 15:13 Kx5 Feat. Hayla - Escape (Chill Mix) 15:09 Odesza Feat. Olafur Arnalds - Light Of Day (Parra For Cuva Remix) 15:09 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit 15:05 Giants' Nest - Storm Trap 15:00 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 14:55 Sumsuch Feat. Matty Eeles - Find Home (Vincenzo Remix) 14:52 Jimpster & Oliver Night - Ascension 14:48 Melosense - Nous 14:44 Goldfrapp - Moon In Your Mouth 14:44 C H I L L T R A X - Parents Magazine Seal 14:39 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 14:35 Two Lanes - Never Enough 14:31 Sultan Shepard - Sirens 14:26 Double Touch Feat. Reigan - Greatest Day 14:26 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 14:22 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 14:18 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 14:13 Emmit Fenn & Shallou - Hollow 14:09 Evelynka - Letting Go 14:06 Tescana - Benissa 14:05 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 14:01 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 13:58 Lliam And Latroit Feat. Brea - Someday (Latroit Edition) 13:53 Billion Watchers - Rainman 13:48 Sg Lewis - Lifetime 13:43 Massive Attack Feat. Hope Sandoval - The Spoils 13:42 C H I L L T R A X - Chill Out Chilltrax 13:37 Ghenwa Nemnom - Story Of A Battle (Chris Zippel Remix) 13:34 Cannons - Loving You 13:30 Sasha - Bygone 13:27 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 13:27 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 13:23 Sebastian Davidson Feat. Lewyn - Second Hand Love 13:19 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 13:15 Odsen - Retrospective 13:12 Vok - Skin 13:11 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 13:08 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 13:04 Pines Feat. Fractures - Rewrite The Ending 12:59 Royksopp Feat. Pixx - How The Flowers Grow 12:55 Pableno - Heights 12:50 Bob Moses - I Ain't Gonna Be The First To Cry 12:50 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 12:46 Kidnap & Pinkpirate - Things Change 12:42 Nightcap - The Two Of Us (We Only Need) 12:38 Rohne - Flicker (Faodail Remix) 12:35 Reel People & Paula - Vibe (Moods Remix) 12:32 Jones Meadow - Expect 12:32 C H I L L T R A X - Ct The Backward Chillout Channel 12:27 Sons Of Maria - It Takes So Long 12:23 Camelphat - Waiting (Eli & Fur's Found Version) 12:20 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 12:16 Tomb - Unbound 12:12 Alex Hook Feat. Rene - You Showed Me 12:12 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 12:09 Kaskade With Project 46 - Chains Chilled 12:05 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 12:01 Andrew Nagy & Joel Winterflood - Little To None 11:58 Everything But The Girl - Forever 11:52 Groove Armada - At The River 11:52 C H I L L T R A X - Retsyn 11:47 Max Cooper - A Model Of Reality (Tor Remix) 11:42 Nicolas Godin Feat. Cola Boyy - The Foundation 11:38 Arto - Now You're Gone 11:35 Liz Cass - Blue 11:30 R Plus & Faithless Feat. Amelia Fox - It's Enough (The Last High) 11:30 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 11:25 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 11:22 Chris Malinchak - Happiness (Eternal Moment Mix) 11:17 Blank & Jones - Floatation 11:13 Above & Beyond & Marty Longstaff - Gratitude (Aname Pm Mix) 11:08 Dj San & Sebastian Moore - In Your Eyes 11:07 C H I L L T R A X - Comes To Chill Out 11:04 Shingo Nakamura - Falling Off 10:59 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 10:56 Embrz Feat. Abroad - Rise 10:52 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 10:49 Dreem - Miles Away 10:45 Autograf - Sleepless In Nyc (Extended Mix) 10:44 C H I L L T R A X - Take Me Away! 10:41 Jako Diaz & Leyet - Only You 10:38 Beacon - Pay My Debts 10:33 Emi Ca - Just Breathe 10:29 Catz 'n Dogz Feat. Jaw - Time 10:29 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 10:25 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 10:22 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 10:18 Farius - A Big Life (Sound Quelle Remix) 10:14 Wassu & Mimi Page - Within Me 10:09 Valante - Eio 10:09 C H I L L T R A X - Jimpster 1 10:04 Elderbrook - Wasted On You 10:00 Kidnap Feat. Leo Stannard - Moments (Ben Bohmer Nils Hoffmann Remix) 09:57 Dex 1200 - Ongea Nami 09:53 Attom & Kwesi - Rogue 09:49 Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line 09:48 C H I L L T R A X - Twcc High Standard Of Quality 09:45 Holen - Not Too Late 09:41 Alampa - Playoff 09:38 Kaskade - Where Did You Go 09:32 Leaving Laurel - There Is Beauty When You Allow Yourself To See 09:32 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 09:27 Sons Of Maria - Are You 09:22 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 09:18 Heard Right & Fløa - Enough 09:14 Hoki - Memories Of Love (Dsf Remix) 09:14 C H I L L T R A X - Cleanliness Don't You Agree 09:11 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 09:07 Lipless & Blue Noir - Alone 09:04 London Grammar - How Does It Feel 08:59 Volen Sentir & Makebo - Into The Stars 08:53 Jody Wisternoff Feat. Sian Evans - The Bridge 08:53 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 08:48 Steven Weston Feat. Tae - Same Dream 08:43 Mango - Skyline 08:39 Sum Wave - Evening Mood 08:34 Eli & Fur - Better In The Dark 08:30 Chris Malinchak, Kiesza, Malin - Tree 08:29 C H I L L T R A X - Chilltrax - Chill Out Piano 08:26 Flexible Fire - Amatista 08:22 Gareth Emery - St Mary's 08:19 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 08:15 Eric Hilton Feat. Brian Jackson - Something For Byrd 08:09 Pilots Of Peace - Fallin 08:09 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 08:05 Circle Sky - Love Hertz 08:02 Chill Cole - Liquid Life 07:56 Shingo Nakamura - Come Closer 07:53 George Fitzgerald & Syml - Mother 07:49 Morcheeba - It's Summertime 07:49 C H I L L T R A X - We Are The Music Makers 07:44 Arley & Sirolf - One Day 07:39 Washed Out - Time To Walk Away 07:35 Palladian - Zagara 07:31 Flume Feat. Emma Louise - Hollow (Logic1000 Remix) 07:26 Northern Form - Mend 07:26 C H I L L T R A X - Organ The Chillout Channel 07:21 Bonsaye - Viaje 07:17 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 07:14 Cannons - Footsteps In The Dark 07:09 Il:lo - Cynnes 07:03 Mass Digital - Little Things 06:59 Che Jose Feat. Jodie Knight - Freedom (Mass Digital Remix Edit) 06:59 C H I L L T R A X - Escape 2 Music 06:55 Melosense - Story To Remember 06:51 Kx5 & Sofi Tukker - Sacrifice (St Mix) 06:46 Sg Lewis Feat. Lucky Daye - Feed The Fire (Kassian Remix) 06:41 Darius Feat. Benny Sings - Rise (Darius Remix) 06:37 Cahelo - Bananaquit (Mass Digital Extended Remix) 06:32 Camelphat & Elderbrook - Cola (Simon Mills Full Sugar Mix) 06:32 C H I L L T R A X - Trans Europe Vocoder 06:27 Nicholas Gunn & Alina Renae - Angel Eyes 06:24 Emmit Fenn - --amman 06:20 Giants' Nest - Heart Void 06:17 Blonde Maze - Something Familiar 06:17 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Freesound 06:13 Jan Blomqvist & Malou - Alone 06:08 Two Lanes - Movement 06:04 Sons Of Maria - Always 05:59 Cinnamon Chasers - Surviving The Fire 05:55 Arto - Para Mi 05:55 C H I L L T R A X - Cool Refreshed Smooth As Can Be 05:51 Xixi Feat. Kwesi - Close To U 05:46 Mishegas - Temporary Love (Il:lo Remix) 05:43 Farius - Coming Up (Hold On) (Dokho Remix) 05:38 Royksopp Feat. Astrid S - Just Wanted To Know 05:33 Rufus Du Sol - Like An Animal (Trinidad Remix) 05:33 C H I L L T R A X - Backward Rvb Where World Comes 05:29 Woven - Brushes 05:24 Heard Right & Oracle - There For You 05:21 Eli & Fur - Wild Skies 05:18 Lar - Collide (Jody Wisternoff & James Grant Remix) 05:18 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Cymbal Roll Bass 05:14 Alampa - The One 05:11 Lp Giobbi Feat. Caroline Byrne - Another Life 05:07 Holen - Breathe 05:03 Nicolas Godin - The Border 05:03 C H I L L T R A X - Magnifyingglasssogood4u 04:59 Satin Jackets Feat. Tailor - Somewhere In Paradise 04:54 Royksopp & Susanne Sundfor - Oh, Lover (Nto Remix) 04:49 Shallou - Fading 04:45 Rocket Empire - Astoria 04:41 Way Out West Feat. Hendrik Burkhard - We Move In The Dark (Sunday Maybe Mix) 04:41 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Moon Boots 04:37 Vandelux - All I've Ever Known 04:34 Tep No - Deep Sin 04:31 Aether - Jupiter & Saturn 04:27 Cannons - Loving You 04:24 Khotin & Tess Roby - Fountain, Growth 04:23 C H I L L T R A X - Street Life Worlds Cc 04:20 Melosense - Nous 04:15 Circle Sky - Your Name 04:10 Alison Goldfrapp - The Beat Divine 04:07 Flexible Fire - Marea Turquesa 04:04 Tennyson - Iron 04:04 C H I L L T R A X - Slurry Toh 04:00 Catching Flies - Daymarks 03:57 Aftruu - Falling Asleep 03:53 Olan - Wake And Return (Little Dragon Remix) 03:49 Floa & Phonic Youth - Falling Away 03:45 Childish Gambino - Feels Like Summer 03:44 C H I L L T R A X - Tcc Warm And Tender Ocean 03:40 Reel People & Muhsinah - Something New (Kraak & Smaak Remix) 03:35 Roma Moss & Holy - Too Late 03:31 Duckmaw - Distant Worlds 03:26 Vintage And Morelli Feat. Arielle Maren - The Light (Flexible Fire Remix) 03:22 Elderbrook - The End 03:22 C H I L L T R A X - E-chilled-music 03:17 Vincenzo - You Knew 03:13 Sebastian Davidson - Nomads 03:09 Sons Of Maria - It Takes So Long 03:04 Boehm - Who You Are 02:59 Nicholas Gunn Feat. Chris Howard - Thought Of You 02:54 Deep Lo - Lost In You (Soire Remix) 02:54 C H I L L T R A X - Take Me Away! 02:49 Eli & Fur - Where I Find My Mind 02:46 Feiertag Feat. Tessa Rose Jackson, Oli Hannaford - Yearn 02:41 Fakear - Crystal 02:38 Lost In Pacific & Hanging Valleys - Escape 02:33 Cinnamon Chasers - Great Escape 02:33 C H I L L T R A X - The Chillout Channel Redux 02:30 Sum Wave - Milkyway 02:25 Two Lanes - Searching (Ct Fixup Mix) 02:21 Monkey Safari - Temple 02:18 Finding Mero - In Loving Memories 02:18 C H I L L T R A X - Valante Io Toh 02:14 Steven Weston Feat. Lapsley - Like I Used To 02:09 Booka Shade & Satin Jackets - Fusion Royale 02:05 Il:lo - Ink 02:02 Ferr By Ferry Corsten And Youth Novels - Hands 02:02 C H I L L T R A X - Something I Should Tell You 01:58 Everything But The Girl - Forever 01:54 Giants' Nest - Crema 01:51 Rezident - Wellenlainge 01:46 Evren Furtuna - Enceladus 01:46 C H I L L T R A X - Toh Dzihan 01:42 Monolink - Turning Away (Parra For Cuva Remix) 01:38 Leisure Feat. Muroki - Summer Season 01:35 Ran The Man - Swimmingpool 01:32 Jones Meadow & Clara Mendes - Em Baixo 01:28 Odesza Feat. Olafur Arnalds - Light Of Day (Parra For Cuva Remix) 01:28 C H I L L T R A X - Escape The Noise 01:24 Flexible Fire - Amatista 01:19 The Knocks Feat. Muna - Bodies (Tycho Remix) 01:16 Fløa (Floa) - Pictures Of You 01:13 Rocket Empire - Lima 01:10 Baynk Feat. Drama - 1 Chance 01:10 C H I L L T R A X - Glitchy Toh 01:06 Twoworldsapart & Panuma & Nina Carr - Slippin' 01:01 Leaving Laurel - There Is Beauty When You Allow Yourself To See 00:56 Sound Quelle Feat. Daniel Robinson - Tempest 00:53 Alampa - Playoff 00:48 Groove Armada - At The River 00:48 C H I L L T R A X - Parents Magazine Seal 00:43 Morgin Madison & Ryan Lucian - From The Start (Mm Chill Remix) 00:39 Pines - Dawn 00:34 Zaven - Voliere Amplitude 00:30 Gold Lounge - Higher 00:25 Phello - Timelapse 00:25 C H I L L T R A X - World Comes To Chilltrax.com 00:20 Two Lanes - Belong 00:16 Feiertag - Didn't Know Why (You Lost Your Soul) 00:13 French Braids & Matt Hartke - Heaven On Loan 00:08 Billion Watchers - Rainman 00:04 Melosense - Can't Replace You 00:00 Fabio Vee & Mike D' Jais - Consolation 00:00 C H I L L T R A X - Worldschilloutchannnel Orbit

[thelegolashairappreciationclub]

Love Sex Magic by Ciara ft J.T (JRR Tolkien)

Hmm I just wanna spitball some of my ideas about how perspectives of Sex, Marriage and Queerness changed over time for the Noldor. This is gonna be hella long so Read More if you want my opinions on why elves seem so cishet, perisex, abstinance only, wait til marriage despite being so ~°☆natural☆°~ since nature is notoriously bad at being any of the above. (Spoiler; i think it's God's fault, in and out of fiction)

Soooooo.... Pre-Journey I dont think the elves HAD a concept of being queer, in honesty. I think they very much went with whatever felt right to them. I dont think they were particularly chaste, I dont think they only ever had one partner and I don't think it was unusual to have multiple partners at once even. I doubt they had any taboos about gender or sex at all because I think they were far more focused on what made them the same than what made them different, Quendi, ya know? You are not expected to be exclusive with the parent of your child but are expected to stick around to provide for the child. My example for this era is Miriel, Finwe, Indis and Telepsion (an OC, Miriel's twin brother, is taken by morgoth shortly before the great journey). They are in essence a polycule where Miriel and Telepsion are both with Finwe and with Indis. Finwe and Indis are not together at the time but are close friends. The siblings are not together but are dating the same two people and the only flack is poking fun at finwe and indis for having such similar tastes. None of this is considered unusual at this point.

During the great journey there are some changes. As they follow different leaders and split into smaller groups the quendi grow distant and competing for resources leads to a bit of a tabboo for taking a partner from another kindred even if you happen to settle together for a while. Because A. You will have to leave them soon. B. They are technically not your team anymore and C. Should a child result they will not be there to help you with it. An example of this is Nerdanel. Mahtan had a brief affair with a teleri woman, Lalapánen, who refused to continue the journey with Elwe MIA. As he was unwilling to separate from his kin, Lalapánen gave him Nerdanel as she was likely safer with him. She planned to return to them once Elwe was found but she perished before that occurred.

At first not much changes in Valinor, the differing goals and settlements solidify the separation of the kindreds but aside from that things are similar. However, then the valar begin to involve themselves more, begining with the vanyar who revere them most highly. The Valar basically view the elves a bit like.. a project at this point. It is their 'duty' to protect the elves and minimise any marring caused by Melkor and 'Improve' them. And, because even Gods can fall to vanity, they think "well Eru made us as we are so we will make the elves as we are, clearly anything else is a marring!" This leads to a lot of changes. The Valar all favour male or female forms, the ainur the same or else are elemental. Elves cannot be elemental and thus all must be either male or female. Though the Valar, aside from nessa, tulkas, Orome and perhaps vana, are not creatures intimately familiar with flesh and thus their definitions can end up... somewhat strange (this is why a possible definition of female is any elf who can bake bread.) This eventually settles into a definition based on physicality and spirit. If you fall outside of that definition physically (intersex) then that is a marring, if you fall outside of it spiritually in that you do not match your physicality (trans), that is a marring, if you spiritually identify as a deep lake or sudden storm that's... probably ok? But strange for an elf so you should probably join the retinue of the most relevant Vala.

There is also the matter of sex: the Valar don't really do it. Most are Aware of it mechanically and perhaps Some (again the more fleshy ones) occaisionally partake, but it doesn't result in children and they generally don't desire it. Thus, like animals, sex must be for procreation and elves enjoy it because it's necessary for making more elves! There is no *reason* for it outside of procreation though. And those Valar who have a 'spouse' also only have the one and they are, in essence, perfectly paired and yet contrasting in nature. This leads to the triple whammy of A. anything outside of monogamy is a marring, B. Any sex outside of procreation is considered unnecessary or hedonistic and could result in a marring, C. Your partner should not be too similar in form or too like you in nature or that is a marring. This is where we get into marriage and marriage bonds.

In my HC, elven 'marriage', that is, the sould bond formed willingly between elves by invoking Eru etc. Etc. Was not actually meant to be solely romantic nor a one time thing. It was a bond one could forge with any particularly strong spiritual connection. Of course with the expectation of total monogamy, it became increasingly common to only have the one bond with your lover and forging bonds outside of that was slowly pushed into obscurity. These expectations took a very long time to settle and become entrenched and until this point there are still those who look down on the new conventions, Miriel amongst them.

My example for this era is Miriel, Telepsion and Finwe. I believe Miriel had a soul bond with her twin and a 'Marriage' bond with Finwe. Telepsion's disappearance and distance weakened their bond significantly but it remained. When she becomes pregnant, the pregnancy is difficult: her and finwe both pour their spirits into their child but he remains somewhat weak until the very last weeks. Once Feanor is born, Miriel is utterly drained, she was wary of coming to valinor in the first place, resents the valar's influence, misses her dear Indis and misses her brother. She goes to lorien to "recover".... She dies.

... and the Valar blame her death on the bond she had with her brother. After all, this is the first death in childbirth to occur in Valinor that did not begin outside of it, every death before occurred when either one of the parents had a bond with another or there were no bonds between them. The other bonds must 'leech' power from the marriage bond leading to danger for the mother and child! (Nevermind that multiple bonds were common and children were born fine under those circumstances for centuries, nevermind that for the first time they are safe and sheltered and well fed, making deaths rare. They only see the holes in the returning planes wings.)

This is what cements the ideas of marriage, of monogamy, of childbirth as the only goal. Its the nail in the coffin. Miriel was Marred. This is the main view that controls Valinor until the darkening, not always as stringently but always present. With the exception of Finwe and Indis marrying (Indis has no other bond, she is not marred and Finwe's bond to Miriel is totally severed, it cannot leech from them) and the relaxing attitude towards Marrying outside of your kindred as resources become more plentiful.

I will wrap this part up by saying that I don't think the attitudes of Valinor are bigoted the same way we see homophobia or transphobia or intersexism nowadays. I don't think 'abberant' people or relationships are legislated against or hated but I don't think they're well respected either. Non-monogamy, sex outside of marriage and homosexuality are seen as frivolous or pleasure seeking, the goal is not a single spouse and child so it's unnecessary. It lacks self control. It's reckless and indulgent, like drinking to excess. Being intersex, trans or nonbinary is seen as Tragic. They are seen as Victims of Melkor's marring. If they are happy then that's foolish, they are expected to *want* to change themselves. Being asexual or aromantic are seen as puzzling quirks more than anything else, it's not *bad* to marry without having a child but it is a little strange. What's the point of a bond if not to facilitate a child? Not wanting to marry at all is generally just seen as You haven't found The One yet. When you live forever, people don't generally worry about your biological clock ticking, but it's still seen as a bit.. antisocial or arrogant if you're not even trying!

As the memory of Miriel fades, these expectations endure but become less rigid. Most of them fall into the category of Youthful Mistakes that good elves will grow out of, it's only cause for concern if they don't. However, one that remains Completely Inexcusable is having a child outside of marriage or when you have another bond. At this point it's viewed as intentionally endangering the mother and child. Friends and familiy members who have bonds will frequently cut them should they become pregnant and though there are fewer and fewer cases of stillbirth or death in childbirth there's never none. There is almost always a Marring of some sort to blame or point to. My example for this era is Maedhros. Feanor and Nerdanel marry young, not bad but unusual. Maedhros is born shortly afterwards, shortly enough that he may have been conceived before their marriage (he was not, but it was not long after). Maedhros is born physically indeterminate, intersex and thus considered marred. They tell no one this, neither of them believes in it but they refuse to expose their child to the same speculation and rumours that feanor endured. Maedhros is raised outside of tirion, he is well loved and confident and when he decides to join the court on his own they do not know he is marred, so his differences are admired instead of pitied. He learns he can get away with what others can't so long as he presents himself a certain way. So he openly courts women and men; it is normal for the youth to explore and try new experiences after all and he is still young and so other 'adventurous' youths follow. He wears skirts as frequently as trousers, stating that his height makes them more comfortable as well as more versatile in style, and a trend of young, androgynous fashion crops up as a result. But this is a revolution for the young alone, they are expected to tuck away their wild habits as they age. When they grow up there are no excuses.

There are smaller trends around marriage in particular that occur after this era; an era when those who do not wish for marriage are encouraged to devote themselves to the valar instead (Findis and Celegorm are the likely sources of this), a period of exploding skillcraft where marying someone within your industry is seen as a way to improve both of your skills (Maglor and Curufin marry a luthier and industrial chemist respectively) a period where long drawn out courtships are a romantic ideal (Finrod and Amarië are either the cause or result, Turgon and Elenwe are hardly better.)

And then as things begin to break down, as melkor's lies spread and distrust runs rampant: a period where courtships are fleeting but marriage is deathly serious, to marry without the approval of your parents is seen as a betrayal of trust, if they recommend a particular person to you, it is considered rude and disrespectful to flout the courtship without trying, this is why so many are short and unsatisfactory (Fingon endures several of these and remains unmarried, caranthir marries and barely has time to regret it before the darkening.)

Then the Darkening comes and suddenly everyone has bigger priorities.

In summary:

Cuivinen; do whatever or whoever you want, no rules just right.

Great journey; be a bit tactical over who you're boning because it can have consequences but thats it.

Early Valinor; Hey the Valar have some Interesting/Stupid ideas about love, sex, gender and childbirth. We should think about/disregard them!

Post Miriel, The Valar were right FuckFuckFuckFuckFuck, dont you EVER even THINK about breaking The Rules.

Pre Feanor and Nerdanel; hey we all KNOW The Rules are important but you dont need to be a dick about it.... maybe u shouldn't break them though, you are putting ppl in danger :/

Post Maedhros; Go you funky, little bisexuals! Don't worry, you'll learn The Rules when you Grow Up. Just dont make Mistakes or stay like that forever mmmkay? :)

Pre Melkor interfering; thanks to Mae doing it on purpose the royal family now sparks a new trend with every action and relationship, essentially the influencer era of romance.

Pre darkening; Who you Marry is Deathly Important, we will be watching closely and judging your decisions. This has nothing to do with The Rules and everything to do with Loyalty.

Post darkening; do whatever or whoever you want, we dont have time for that this is WAR, PEOPLE.

[viplala-things]

Okei teeme

Sisekõne: omg seal on nii väike palk, sa päriselt võtad selle

Sa ei taha ju seda kaua teha, miks sa petad ennast ja teisi

Aga nad nii tahavad mind ja ma saan proovida esinemist ja podcaste ja kirjutamist ja uusi asju

Aga omg kas sa saad siis kuskile mujale tööle - hirm - tegema midagi mis sind rohkem kõnetab ja tõmbab. Äkki nüüd on maailm läbi kui sa sinna lähed

Fine, ma ei lähe

Sisekõne: mida, jälle ütled ära

Kes sind veel tahab, oledki ilma tööta siis

Ja ei tee midagi, ei suhtle kellegagi, ei jõua kuskile

Siin nad vähemalt tahavad sind ja on valmis midagi tegema

Mina: aga teine töö tahtis ka ja oli valmis suuremat palka maksma. Sa eksid, nemad ka tahtsid mind teise tegelase ees

S: Ja aga sina ei tahtnud neid ja pealegi see oli nii tehniline.

M: aga sulle ju meeldib kui on tehniline?

S: jaa aga ei

M: ...

S: igatahes, praegune turu olukord on wtf ja kui sul on pakkumine siis võiks selle vastu võtta

M: aga praegu on võimalus olla tööta ja nautida ja teha asju ja hüvitise rahade peale teha ise tööd mingite projektidega

S: jah, ja ei tea kust sa neid projekte leiad? On sul veel julgust postitada LinkedIni asju ja kuulutada et otsid või on su väärtus su tegemistega nii läbi põimunud, et sa ei ole kuidagi enam väärtuslik kui sa tööd ei tee?

M: no igal juhul kavatsen ma teist tööd vaadata ja oma projekte ka edasi ajada. Ja ma olen edukas kui ma usun ja kui ma fkn sinu suudan ka endasse uskuma panna, sa vana kriitik.

S: ma üritan sind kaitsta.

M: jee. Sa võiks teisi meetodeid valida

S: ???

M: midagi mis innustaks ja pushiks edasi mitte ei tõmbaks tagasi ja võtaks kogu usku ära. See su minu piitsutamine ja kahtlemine teeb mind haigeks, migreenid, seljavalud, unetus, kõhus keerab, käed ja keha väriseb, esimest korda ohatis ja kohe tervel laual varsti kaks nädalat, südamepuperdamine ja mega tempo ainult sinu mõtetest. Sa saad aru mis sa mulle teed oma kaitsmise ja parimat soovitusega? Sa tapad mind!

S: ma... ei taha sind tappa. Ma tahan et sul oleks hea ja turvaline

M: ei sa ei taha

S: tahan küll! Kui sa neid riske võtad, siis mida mina tunnen? Ma pean kõigi nende tagajärgedega tegelema, kõiki võimalikke stsenaariume välja mõtlema mida teha ja mitte teha ning kalkuleerima mis on järgmine parim samm!

M: ...sa tõesti ei pea seda tegema. See ei aita

S: aitab

M: ei, tõesti ei aita. Surra kiiremini ja valusamalt, jah, aga mitte elada täiel rinnal, katsetada, võtta riske, proovida. Selles sa mind ei aita.

S: mis sa siis soovid et ma teen?

M: kui sa päriselt mind aidata tahad, toeta mind. Ole alati minu poolt, isegi kui ma olen naiivselt delulu. Kiida takka. Kiida mind otsuse puhul, ükskõik mis see ka poleks.

S: see aitaks sind?

M: ma arvan küll.

S: okei. Aga selle otsuse puhul... ma tõesti kardan et kui sa ei lähe sinna siis sa jääd inimesteta istuma ja kaotad oma enesekindlust veelgi. Samas kui sa lähed, siis sa kaotad eneseusku, et kas sa paremat teha ei saa

M: kas me ei võiks niimoodi suhtuda, et kui ma lähen, siis see on katsetus teha midagi muud vahelduseks. Ja kui ma tahan, siis ma lähen edasi midagi muud tegema. Ja küll ma saan ja küll elu hoiab ja annab võimalusi.

Ja kui ma ei lähe, siis mul on aega oodata õigemat asja. Udida enda asju vahepeal edasi. Teha bingeid värke. Ja kui ma lähen ja mulle ikka ei meeldi, siis mul on okei ka ära tulla. Aga ma tahaks lihtsalt et ma valin enda pealt, südamehääle ja aususe pealt, mitte hirmu kriitiku suurte silmade ja sassis põlvede pealt.

S: hea küll. Vali... oot. Ma ei suru sind takka :) ms tran et sa seda ei taha. Pealegi meil on aega õhtuni. Sinna on veel neli tundi.

M: mhm. Ma tean, et ma olen nüüd varem mõelnud ja ümber mõelnud seda otsust. See kogu aeg tundus kuidagi ebameeldiv, et ma pean seda tegema.

S: sa ei pea seda tegema, kui sa ei taha.

M: onju? Aga miks ma tunnen et ma pean? Kas ma läksin esimest korda sinna intekale juba nii, et omg, ma ei tea ma ei oska, ma ei taha siia saada. Ja siis teine kord minnes mõtlesin et ah, pole vaja minna aga savi, käime ära. Ja nii ma siis käisin ja lubasin mõelda kas väike palk sobib - ma lõpuks ei öelnudki et sobib.

Jumal tänatud et ka see läheb mööda. Muid polegi selle kohta öelda, et ma soovin oma rahu saada. Et on okei olla ja asju teha.

Ja ma ei öelnud et sobib ja aga ma ei julgenud või ei tahtnud siis kohe ära öelda. Kas siin tulid sina mängu?

S: ma... võibolla. Ma ei tahtnud et sa end peaksid tahtmatult tundma. Ma soovisin et sind tahetaks

M: kas see on äkki midagi millega me peaks töötama? See vajadus olla tahetud. Vot, siit tukeb see baasvajadus välja. Mina ei taha ja ei vali, aga mind tahetakse ja valitakse. Oi kui hea tunne! Aga kas sellest on võimalik jagu saada? Olla õnnelik ja enesekindel ka siis kui sind ei valita. Või kui sa ise valid mitte valida neid. Osata öelda ei, julguses ja kindluses, et elul on enamat. Et sa saad midagi rohkemat kui sa soovid. Ehk ei pea jääma kinni ühte asja.

S: ma usun et see võiks olla võimalik. Teised saavad? Võiks uurida, kuidas. Kuid ma usun, et teised on saanud jagu sellest. Kui teised on saanud, saad sina ka.

M: aitäh sulle selle toetuse eest! Ma tõesti hindan seda <3.

S: :)

M: aitäh.

Huh. Tekst on veel alles. Käisin arhitekti konsulti asju vaatamas.

Nii, mulle tundub et ma tahaks nii enda asja kui sellist süteemiarhitekti rolli. Samas oleks äge ka proovida midagi muud. Proovida.

Nii raske on öelda jah, sest na olen harjunud tegelema pikaajalisemate asjadega. See mõne-kuune esitleja amet ei tundu nagu hea plaan. Aga sa saaksid proovida?

Samas kui ei lähe, siis saab proovida oma neid ideid. Mida saab isegi siis proovida, kui sa lähed, onju? Ükski ei välista teist, lihtsalt ajaliselt võib sul tekkida piir ette kuskil kui sa päevad läbi chillid ülemistes ja pead eestist rääkima. I mean, sa võid sealt ka midagi uut õppida. Kindlasti õpidki. Aga, nagu ka eelmis arendusega, kas sa liigud sinna suunas kuhu sa tahad? Kuhu sa tahad jõuda? Vähema töö ja suurema palgani. Nii nagu sa kunagi valisid it töö, sest see oli su eesmärk mitte fun, siis ka nüüd on täiesti variant valida seda. Küll sa hakkama saad ja ära õpid. Aga igast kogemustest võib ka midagi kasulikku või meeldivat saada.

Kokkuvõttes mul on hea meel selle arutelu ple. Ma küll ei jõudnud otsuseni, aga me saime rääkida

S: ja ma luban et ma toetan sind.

M: aitäh. Nii on palju julgem elada.

[goodbye-cyrusborg]

flashback to the one time i drew tempest shadow as a trans man but humanized. those were good times

[ominous-horse-noises]

i dont usually recc stuff but PLEASE read Vamp Sabbath on Tapas.io its so good

[lescomuneseba]

Les pioneres

Marlene Wayar: Somos otra manera de transitar la humanidad.

El libro de la escritora, activista y directora de El Teje -primer periódico travesti de Latinoamérica- se conseguirá mañana como compra opcional con Página/12.

“El diálogo que hemos tenido con les jóvenes ha fructificado", dice Wayar.

Marlene Wayar pone el cuerpo y hace política con su propia biografía en el excepcional Diccionario Travesti de la T a la T, que sale este domingo y cierra la colección Biblioteca Soy. La ambición de este abordaje de lo travesti/trans con perspectiva histórica desmonta las violencias arraigadas y hasta las taxonomías bienpensantes impuestas por la heterosexualidad, como la redacción de la Ley de Identidad de Género “sobre la que no solo no fuimos consultadas sobre su pertenencia y urgencia, cuando aún seguimos siendo perseguidas, encarceladas y coimeadas por la policía en diferentes provincias”, plantea la escritora y activista, directora de El Teje, el primer periódico travesti de Latinoamérica. “Una ley que dice ser para reconocer nuestra identidad mientras en ejercicio esquizofrénico escribe que seremos hombres y mujeres, no travestis, transexuales, transgéneros o trans”, agrega Wayar para abrir las puertas clausuradas a toda una comunidad.

-El Diccionario… empieza con una pregunta: “¿Quieren saber qué es ser travesti? ¿Todavía no lo saben?”. ¿Qué importancia tiene esta pregunta? -El mundo heterosexual es muy cínico, sinvergüenza, asesino, maltratador, discriminador, genocida; se venden blanco, cristiano, puro, maternal, pero en las prácticas concretas son de una terrible violencia. En un país que a las travestis nos ha cogido a todas, millones de veces, ahora parece que hay una preocupación avanzada: ¿qué es una travesti? Lo saben a la perfección, lo que no están sabiendo es qué son los heterosexuales. Nosotras tenemos radicalmente una diferencia que es abrazarnos en el respeto irrestricto a nuestro deseo, a nuestra autonomía y a nuestra libertad para ser. Es tan absurdo querer categorizar la experiencia humana que solo el mundo heterosexual puede tener esas pretensiones vanas. Lo rebuscado es lo cínico del “no matarás”, que sea el paradigma de la sociedad occidental y cristiana y que la guerra y la producción de muerte sea uno de los negocios más fructíferos. Las travestis somos otra mismidad: no somos hombres, no somos mujeres. No somos hombres que se transforman en mujeres ni mujeres que se transforman en hombre; tienen que dejar de pensar en esa dicotomía egocéntrica con la que se creen que son el eje del mundo: el hombre como sujeto primordial de la humanidad. La verdad es que son patéticos y algo de eso tiene que ver con que la travesti así nazca en una villa va a construir una belleza de ser y estar en el mundo. Estamos intentando llegar a los niños y las niñas antes de que sean adiestrados y adiestradas por esa heterosexualidad obligatoria que nos imponen. 

-“No nos ven cuando somos niñas, nos ven recién cuando somos punibles”, afirmás en una parte del Diccionario… Esta condición de visibilidad, ¿se está empezando a modificar con la lucha de estos últimos años, con leyes como la de Identidad de Género? -Quisiera ser muy cuidadosa… Todo puede cambiar. Yo estoy envejeciendo con un pedazo menos de intestino, imaginate si no estoy cambiando. La ley de Identidad de Género, siempre y cuando no sea retrabajada y dialogada en los medios de comunicación, en las escuelas, en educación sexual integral y demás, y no reconozca que somos travestis, que hay travestidad, que hay personas transgénero, personas transexuales y todas las que se identifiquen políticamente –lesbiana, gay, marica- no va a prosperar porque nos siguen proponiendo los corralitos de inteligibilidad en donde están parados: se puede ser hombre y se puede ser mujer. La idea es que nos reconozcan en nuestra travestidad. Y es travestidad, no travestismo. El travestismo es una práctica y nosotras tenemos una identidad que es la travestidad; somos otra manera de transitar la humanidad. El diálogo que hemos tenido con les jóvenes ha fructificado, pero el mundo adulto sigue pensando en los mismos términos; quiere seguir festejando el progresismo de la Ley de Identidad de Género, del Matrimonio Igualitario, que son leyes que han producido un avance, pero son conquistas muy paupérrimas. El cinismo del sistema patriarcal-heterosexual-capitalista no nos ve cuando somos absolutamente visibles; estamos en las plazas, estamos en las rutas, alejadas de los pueblos. Los camioneros saben dónde buscarnos, la policía saben dónde buscarnos, y nos contagian enfermedades de transmisión sexual. Nosotras las travestis podemos morir de frío en la calle, de niñas. Si llegamos a sobrevivir, a los 18 años nos van a caer con todo su aparato punitivo, persecutorio, policial, sistemáticamente.

-“Todas las travestis tenemos un cementerio en la cabeza. Han muerto amigas de mi misma edad y más jóvenes a lo largo de toda mi vida, y todas por causas evitables. A las personas heterosexuales no les pasa eso de tener mil quinientas muertes en la historia”, afirmás en el libro. ¿Cómo afecta esta especie de cementerio con el que cargan las travestis? -Tenemos un cementerio en la cabeza; esto viene desde siempre y no está estudiado cómo nos afecta. La pobreza estructural hace que no podamos investigarnos a nosotras mismas, que no podamos pasarnos las unas a las otras un montón de saberes que tienen que ver con la subsistencia. Esto no está investigado y tenemos que investigarlo, pero con quién lo vamos a investigar si a quienes podemos preguntarles se van muriendo… Nos hace falta institutos de memoria, nos hace falta tiempo de paz para poder juntarnos a conversar entre nosotras mismas, saber cuáles son los puntos importantes de nuestra agenda, poder hacer un trabajo concienzudo con nosotras mismas. Todas vamos caminando por la vida sabiendo que tenemos una espada de Damocles y que a la vuelta de cualquier esquina, por cualquier absurda razón, podés terminar torturada, mancillada, golpeada, hasta que te asesinan. Nada te garantiza que -hagas lo mejor que hagas- vas a superar los 35 años de vida. Además tenemos que partir de los estudios de la subjetividad que son heterosexuales y entonces debemos desarmar a Freud, a Lacan, a Saussure, a Judith Butler, con todo lo importante que puedan haber aportado, pero desde un pensamiento heterosexual. Es el heteropensante el que ha producido conocimiento y lo ha impuesto como norma, y no nos dejan pensar con quién es nuestro Edipo o nuestro complejo de Electra, si es que los tenemos o no los tenemos. Yo no puedo decirte cómo impactan estas muertes; es una pregunta muy ambiciosa. Pero tenemos la convicción de que en cualquier momento, en la mejor de las fiestas, con nuestros mejores vestidos, con nuestras mejores luces y acompañadas de nuestras mejores amigas, nos puede suceder la desgracia de la muerte de manera terrorífica en manos de heterosexuales.

Por Silvina Friera para Página 12, 4 de enero de 2020. Todas las itálicas son nuestras.

[ectobiologistt]

if the madrigals arent all some form of neurodivergent whats the point

[literallynothingbutvictuuri]

Hello, loves! So, I recently saw another masterlist post like this and as I’ve written a fair number of victuuri fics, I thought it could be fun to make one as well!!

I’ve written 27 Victor/Yuuri fics (no other ships involved) and all of them (except for one) are complete! This list compiles all of them neatly together and I can give some author insight into my own personal favorites versus which ones are my most popular, etcetera. 

The list will be compiled in alphabetical order! All relevant tags, ratings, author’s notes, and short(er) summaries will be shown in an organized manner. 

If interested, click the read below! Much love to you all and I hope you’ll like one of them, maybe!!! ❤️❤️

KEY:      ** = author’s favorite     bolded = top 3 kudos’d    IMG = embedded images in fic    

Abstract Intuition ~ Teen/3.2k words  ~ Introspection, Japanese Myths, Dreams vs. Reality ~ a/n: weird! loved writing it though ~ in which Yuuri understands more about himself than he thinks he does and believes in a Japanese supernatural being 

Aegri somniavana ~ Teen/2.3k words ~ Major Character Death, Heavy Angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Depression, Panic Attacks ~ a/n: sad! sad sad sad! if you don’t want to be sad, do not read this! ~ “The love of a half-dead heart will keep you half alive” 

a blessing in disguise ~ Teen/WIP~ AUs: Fantasy & Royalty, Witch Curses, Fairy Tale Elements, Mutual Pining, Magic & Wizards, Light Angst, Fluff & Humor, Child Victor (at times) ~ a/n: one of my favorites concept-wise, will update one day! ~ Victor gets cursed. Yuuri does not. Yuuri most definitely feels like he is though.

can’t buy love, but you can try if you’re a ridiculous man like Victor Nikiforov ~ General/495 words ~ SAPPY, old victuuri ~ a/n: domestic victuuri makes me so soft :’’) ~ Victor loves spoiling his grandchildren. 

Chair AU (series with 2 fics) ~ General/505 words ~ why ~ a/n: yes it’s that fic the terrible and infamous chair au, yes i wrote that, yes i am aware of its contents, yes it is ridiculous ~ yuuri is a chair

ethereal ~ General/877 words ~ Introspection, Canon Compliant ~ a/n: romantic drabble ~ realizations

even Time ~ Mature/18k words ~ Time Travel Fix-It With A Twist!, AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Poisoning, Depression, Complicated Relationships, Non-Linear Narrative ~ a/n: this was my 2nd yoi fic! there are two ways to read it (one chapter for each way). this is quite sad, but also… not ~ in which yuuri and victor get it wrong until time comes in and allows for them to get it right

finally ~ General/1.8k words ~ Mutual Pining, High School AU, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Oblivious Katsuki Yuuri, Fluff ~ a/n: ngl i wrote this so quickly and did not expect people to like it as much as they did ~ in which everyone got the memo that Yuuri and Victor are “totally dating” except for Yuuri

going places ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Pre-Canon, AU- Canon Divergence, Self-Reflection, Adolescent Sexuality ~ a/n: my first fic!!!!!!!! i wrote this right after ep 3 was released, this was basically my take on how victor and yuuri knew each other before the reveal in ep 10 :3 ~ viktor remembers and yuuri helps

hearts beat ~ Teen/1.4k words ~ Introspection, Angst, Canon Compliant, Insecurity, set after the beginning of episode 12 ~ a/n: i wrote this for a friend actually :3 this isn’t as sad as people seem to think? like? it’s better afterward as seen in the show? people acting like i broke them up smh ~ Yuuri doesn’t see what Victor sees in him.

in sickness & in health ~ General/511 words ~ Sappy, Sickfic, Domestic ~ a/n: cute drabble :( ~ Yuuri takes care of his whiny and sick husband.

in sync ~ Teen/442 words ~ Introspection, Falling in Love ~ a/n: soft :( ~ heartbeat

inevitable ~ Teen/972 words ~ True Love, Domestic, Insecurity, Sappy Fluff ~ a/n: this is probably my favorite work for domestic victuuri ~ Victor had a bad day and comes home and snaps at Yuuri. Cue little fight and makeup. :)

love (leaf) pile ~ General/354 words ~ Fluff, Victor is Extra ~ a/n: this one was so fun to write! ~ Yuuri shows Victor the glory that is jumping in leaf piles!!

love letters are too cliché ~ Teen/7.2k words ~ Pen Pals, Fluff, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Coming Out, College AU (sort of), Letters ~ a/n: this was definitely one that took a lot of me to write for some reason but i’m proud of how it ended up uwu ~ Viktor and Yuuri are pen pals. They both get more out of it than they originally thought.

moonstruck ~ General/712 words ~ Canon Compliant, True Love, Gentle Kissing ~ a/n: i think this was my first ever drabble? i was so soft when writing it ~ moon·struck (adjective): unable to think or act normally, especially because of being in love.

Much To Do About Everything ~ Teen/24.8k words ~ Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Misunderstandings, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Fluff and Angst, Rivalry ~ a/n: this work is more dialogue heavy than my others and it was very fun to write that dialogue :) ~ Victor and Yuuri won’t stop complaining about each other. Phichit and Chris, being the wonderful best friends that they are, just want them to shut the hell up. Starfleet Academy/Star Trek/Much Ado About Nothing AU

**Pigeon Alley ~ IMG ~ Teen/35.5k words ~ Famous Actors Victuuri, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Insecurity, Implied/Referenced Alcoholism/Alcohol Abuse, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Non-Linear Narrative, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Media Attention ~ a/n: one of my personal favorites, writing this fic helped me in more ways than one ~ What’s meant to be will always find a way. Victor and Yuuri? They’re meant to be.

the rain before the rainbow ~ IMG ~ Teen/7.6k words ~ ANXIETY, Anxiety Attacks, Insecurity, Introspection, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lack of Communication, Sick Makkachin ~ a/n: one of my more emotionally taxing fics honestly but working with Bee was so fun ~ Yuuri is anxious about marrying Victor.

recovery & the sun ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Character Study, Recovery, Drabble ~ a/n: one of my my darkest fics (if not the darkest) and also one where i wrote it just to project some of my own feelings ~ Yuuri understood in a way that Victor had never expected, had never even hoped.

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy ~ Explicit/1.7k words ~ Anal Sex, Porn with Feelings, basically Yuuri rides Victor while Victor wears a cowboy hat, kind of a crack fic? ~ a/n: fjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjjfj why ~ When Victor receives a cowboy hat from a fan, Yuuri may or may not want to devastate him.

strength ~ Teen/1.1k words ~ Gender Dysphoria, Trans Katsuki Yuuri, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Established Relationship ~ a/n: so this fic haunts me bc i think i misinterpreted the prompt wrong (didn’t see the “him” at the end there) and a big part of me wishes i wrote yuuri as a trans GUY and i feel bad whenever i think about this fic but some people liked it and yeah ~ Yuuri feels dysphoric and Victor comforts her.

sunflower ~ Teen/1.2k words ~ Slight Angst, Introspection, Femininity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Fluff, Sappy ~ a/n: one of my fave drabbles! uwu~ Yuuri realizes it’s okay to like wearing dresses.

touch ~ General/439 words ~ True Love, Anxiety ~ a/n: this is also another one of my fave drabbles ~ Viktor and Yuuri express their love through touch.

**The Universe’s Secrets ~ IMG ~ General/5.3k words ~ Pre-Relationship, Mutual Pining, Sappy, Introspection, Canon Compliant, Tension, Relationship Study, Developing Relationship ~ a/n: another fic that took a lot of me but i’m proud of writing and ALSO another fic where i very much enjoyed working with jercy~ 3 times Victor smiles at Yuuri + 3 times Yuuri smiles at Victor. 

The World Opened With You ~ IMG ~ Teen/10.6k words ~ Famous Victuuri, Violinist Victor, Pianist Yuuri, Musician AU, Depression, Family Issues, Sappy, Introspection ~ a/n: this fic really popped off huh !! i honestly never expected it to and it meant a lot that it did and thank you STILL nikai for making gorgeous artwork, i really loved working with him too :( ~ Victor and Yuuri are paired up to play a duet together. More things come from it than expected.

[truetgirl]

Because I’ve been on a knight kick what with reading The Afterward by E.K. Johnston (great read that you should all check out if for no reason other than the gay lady knight and trans lady knight both of which are normalized in the world of the story) and because I could I’ve made myself my dream knight-tribal commander. Also, now that I think about it, I am so using this character in my fanwalker stories once the origin story stuff is done.

Aryel, Knight of Windgrace is cool and all but without the “valor and honor boros-y” part of the knight flavor it just feels incomplete. Also, to be frank, her abilities are fine but I like the idea of leading the knights rather than leaning on them as their commander; hence the abilities that enhance the creatures rather than relying on having a lot of them like Aryel’s second ability does.

Also adding red brings in Adriana, Bloodsworn Steward, Crimson Honor Guard, Varchild, Truefire Captain, and Skyknight Legionnaire all strictly on-tribe as well as letting Sylvia Brightspear from Battlebond bring along Khorvath to give everybody flying and haste.

This is the first card I’ve ever designed myself, so please be gentle if I made something way too good or bad.

The art, btw, is a piece called Silence by yagaminoue on deviantart and you can see the full piece here.

[thedarkestdawnrp-blog]

APPLICATIONS ARE NOW OPEN!

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I will be accepting as many people as I can this time, but I don’t have a specific number because I never adhere to it. 

The current “Story So Far” document is here, and a FAQ is under the cut.

These applications will be open for 24 hours.

Are trans/gay/etc. cats allowed? Yes.

Can my trans/gay/etc. cat have kits?

Yes.

Is NSFW allowed?

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS DISCUSSING/POSTING LINKS TO NSFW CONTENT ALLOWED. You will be warned once with extreme prejudice. If it happens again, you will be kicked without warning.

Does this roleplay only accept traditional names? No. Be as creative with the names as you want.

How many cats can I have? As many as you'd like. I won't politce how many characters a person has, but please know your own limits!

What's the process of applying for another character? Fill out an application and send it to me [vana] or the mod [crab].

Are there any design restrictions? Very little. If it can feasibly explained in a natural setting, it's allowed. Any eye color is accepted.

Where is TDD set? A fictional-ish area of Mt. Rainier, Washington.

How active do I need to be? TDD is a rather fast-paced roleplay and rewards are given to those that are most active, such as visions and extra plot opportunities. With that said, there are no activity requirements to join, but I do request you message me that you're going on a hiatus. I do periodically clear out "inactive" (as in, haven't interacted with anyone ooc) players with a 48 hour warning.

Can I PLEEEEEAAASEEE have [high rank here]? Probably not. All the high ranks are taken and medicine cats choose their own apprentices. Don't complain, please. It just makes people uncomfortable.

What is the Crimson Dawn? Is it another clan? It's not quite a clan, but it's no group of rogues either. The Crimson Dawn worships the Martyr, a cat that they believe has ascended to godhood. The doctrine the Martyr gives is put down to the Prophet, who passes it to his congregation. They have a rather cult-like flair.