#transphobiatw

[softpine]

Hi Brandi! I'm sorry if this is random but I could really use some advice because I've gotten a couple of out of pocket anons and I'm kind of frustrated. Basically just anons like "Erwin is trans but you made him so edgy when he's soft :(," "Erwin's cute for a trans guy," and even a lot of "Why did you make Erwin trans?" Is this a thing on simblr? I've been so close to making a post but don't want to start drama! I'm just... tired. Sorry to bother you, I just didn't know who else to ask. <3

(i wrote this whole thing and then realized i’ve been assuming you’re cis this whole time, i’m really sorry if that’s not the case!! i think the advice still holds up no matter who’s reading this though)

ugh yeah unfortunately i’ve gotten similar messages about stevie. you have to learn how to decide whether the message you received is a good faith critique (whether you agree with it or not), or just plain hateful rhetoric, or a question out of nothing more than curiosity. it’s easy to disregard the blatantly bigoted questions, but sometimes people will phrase things in an ambiguous way. in those cases, i try to really focus on what the person is asking or commenting on. would they ask the same question of a cis character? would they notice the same things about a cis character? would they hold the same opinions about this character if they were cis? is there any validity to what this person is critiquing my writing for? (in this case, the best thing you can do is ask a trans person for advice. i’m lucky enough to have trans friends irl who don’t mind me asking questions, but there are plenty of people online who would also be willing to chat if you look!). it’s important to keep your mind open to the fact that you might actually be making a mistake, or portraying something inaccurately, etc. and you can correct yourself if you need to. but if the criticism is patently not valid, just block them and move on. don’t even give them the pleasure of a response!

i would also say it’s a good idea to set your boundaries now and stick to them. for example, i already know that because stevie is a minor, i’m not going to answer any questions about bottom surgery or her sex life, both of which have been asked about WAY too many times (way, way more than any of the other characters around her age). i also choose not to engage with people who hate stevie for thinly veiled reasons. it’s perfectly okay to dislike a character, and i don’t mind you expressing this to me, but i’ve gotten pretty good at realizing when people are genuinely criticizing stevie vs. looking for reasons to hate her because they won’t just come out and say the transphobic shit they want to say.

tldr: if it’s a bad faith criticism, straight up ignore it! don’t respond in any way, it’ll just stoke the flames. if you’re not sure what the anon’s intentions were, give them the benefit of the doubt by asking them to clarify before you give them any kind of response. i’ve found that most of the time when an anon has to explain what they meant by something, it’s usually a genuine misunderstanding that gets cleared up easily. i hope that helps!! 💖

[galushanationalrailways]

aaaaand now the terfs have locked on to the super straight thing unironically.

For me, the worst part of it is this idea they have that trans people want to force themselves on cis people. They don’t. Terfs are ridiculous. if there’s anything trans people do want it’s to be treated as human. Almost all trans people give zero flips as to whether you, some random person, are attracted to them or not. I don’t care how many examples terfs can bring up of trans people forcing themselves on cis people. The majority does not want this. Why must you judge people by their gender identity rather than the content of their character?

[teaandspite]

Screenshotted for posterity

Oh, and I got a response!

[wcamino-confessions]

Recently I saw a gender bend warriors music video about squirrelflight and the comments were turned off bc there was a heated debate about gender bend being transphobic and does anyone know why that is? I never heard of it being transphobic before

#transphobiatw

[queerradiantdarkness-blog]

Hi, I am trans. Do not go around saying trans people were “born in the wrong body.”

[yourbutt-is-fantasstic]

Venting #homophobiatw #transphobiatw #racismtw

My father made creepy comments about Caitlyn Jenner’s daughters, made creepy comments about Caitlyn Jenner, a racist comment about Asian people, and about being anti-gay. My mother made a comment about Caitlyn Jenner having the same spelling as my middle name.  Ahh yes, the joys of being a gynesexual genderfluid in a racist, heteronormative, cisgendered  household. This man also has a tendency to use the n-word and a slur referring to Middle Eastern People. I appologize for him and anyone like him, no one should have to deal with people like them.

[queerradiantdarkness-blog]

personal blood fam stress

damn, family trauma is not a static entity in my life. it just takes new forms. whereas before I was ashamed when my mother talked about trans people like they are moon craters or incapable of being self-aware, I am still deeply disappointed by her lack of effort in educating herself or pronouning me correctly, constantly. We are years into this conversation and it's clear how we differ in recognizing who I am. 

NOW I'm at the point where I recognize how engrained racism, heteronormativity, victim-blaming, and ableism are in not only my own blood family but the fabric of most people in this country. The racism and ableism stands out to me the most and boils my blood. The white liberal viewpoint is a fucking bullshit, non-accountable lie that will continue to stratify us all under this white supremacist, capitalist, cishetero system. 

I can't...... This is a reminder that white folx have a fuckton of work to do. This is a reminder that my chosen family is a rosy jewel that is non reflective of the rest of the world. 

[queerradiantdarkness-blog]

anytime humor gets onto the grounds of 'boners' 

or 'being an asshole' I feel undertones of homophobia & cissexist assumptions and it's not a good place to be. 

[queerradiantdarkness-blog]

mm really hate that post floating around about 'NEEDING' to raise yr child by their sex in order to make their life easier to navigate. No one NEEDS their genitalia to be assigned a sex. that logic completely disregards intersex people and the pain trans and gender noncomforming ppl then have to go through to find the words to describe themselves, decide how to live in a cissexist world and somehow still survive. 

further, cis people are then expected to carry out gender roles according to this magical 'sex' you get no say in deciding. how about cis people stop for a second & LISTEN?