#true beauty ep 12

[jemmo]

i didnt watch unknown as it was airing bc i knew it would consume me so i decided to binge it all today. i was correct. it has consumed me.

[hungiehipo]

Macdennis timeline

Macdennis

The 16 season long situationship filled to the brim with sociopathic tendencies, mutual abuse, and disorganized attachment between a man burdened by Catholic guilt who doesn't want love unless it hurts and a deeply dissociated man who can't be authentic unless he's immersed in a facade. And they were roommates.

What can be said that hasn't been said before? Probably nothing... still here's this.

S1-S4 PRE-MACDENNIS

This is before Mac and Dennis find themselves unwittingly thrust into a relationship neither is aware of. There is a homoerotic undertone, albeit usually as more of a joke than anything else. Neither has realized that their feelings for the other goes beyond friendship.

(Season 1 ep 1) Famous tequila scene.

(season 3 ep 4) Mac says I love you to Dennis.

(season 3 ep 15) gang dances their asses off macs dance pantomiming blowing Dennis.

(season 4 ep 1) Man hunters. Dennis puts his balls in Mac's mouth when he's sleeping, and mac shaves his pubes and glues them to Dennis' face.

(season 4 ep 4) Charlie asks Dennis if he still gets the feeling Mac wants to bang them, and that's why Mac makes project badass, Dennis agrees.

(season 4 ep 13) Nightman cometh. Mac gets a boner when Dennis' character pantomimes sex with him in the play. Dennis rips macs heart out (this comes back later)

S5-S7 MACDENNIS INTENTIONAL

Season 5 Macdennis hits like a truck. Dennis has feelings and they are BIG. We the audience witness a masterful display of homoerotic desire wrapped in a stunning amount of cognitive dissonance until "breakup" where Dennis is forced to confront the reality of his feelings. Following this crucial turning point, we are treated to a series of back and forth assertions of no-homo, feelings getting hurt, and lashing out. In order, we get Dennis introducing the dennis system, mac fighting gay marriage, Dennis getting married and kicking Mac out of the apartment, and finally Dennis getting a divorce.

Things are notably different between them post-divorce, marked by a mutual retreat from both Mac and Dennis. There's a shared reluctance to appear overly invested in each other romantically. This dynamic persists into Season 7, where Mac and Dennis noticeably maintain a considerable distance compared to previous seasons. In my honest opinion, this season exhibits the least Macdennis of any. Dennis being unhappy with Mac's weight gain likely contributes to this.

(Season 5 episode 1) Dennis suggests that they pretend to be gay married realtors. Some will say that being gay married was not essential to the scheme. Some would even say that to sell the being married thing Dennis did NOT have to be that touchy touchy. Source of baby boy nickname that has penetrated every corner of AO3 macden fanfiction.

(season 5 episode 8) PADDY'S THONG DUDE!!! PADDY'S THONG! I'm not wearing these because I'm comfortable I'm wearing them cause i wanna turn YOU on, you know what I'm saying??? you get it???

Mac jerks off a shotgun and blows its load in a kneeling dennis' gaping mouth.

(season 5 episode 9) They break up. In the podcast they say that this is a romcom. Dee points out that they act like an old married couple. Realization dawns on dennis's face and he proceeds to freak the hell out. Why? I mean... he knew it was true. We learn that they have a weekly movie night. Mac is jealous of video store clerk guy. We learn that they check in. Deleted scene at the end has Dennis blurting out that Mac has "beautiful lips" and again looking horrified.

(season 5 ep 10) Immediately after break up Dennis introduces his fool proof system for attracting WOMeN with big BIG BOOB for SEX.

(season 6 ep 1) Mac goes on a rampage against gay marriage after just last season being fake gay married to dennis. Dennis immediately gets married and kicks Mac out of the apartment. (Dennis also says he doesn't "have feelings", which Mac internalizes and it comes back in season 12)

(season 6 ep 2) dennis immediately divorces said woman and lets his boy toy (his words) come home.

radio silence all of season 7 except....

(season 7 ep 1) They go to the doctor, mac tries to carry dennis out bridal style. Dennis eats a chimichanga with Mac (romantic).

(season 7 ep 6) cold open, Dennis is holding Macs forearm while they watch the TV.

-season 7 we also learn that Mac slept with Dennis' prom date and it was very easy.

S8-S9 The kiss, the date, and the platonic naked wrestling shower scene

I believe this is the point where Mac starts to get the feeling something is off. (Again, Dennis realized in season 5). Mac has far more dissonance about it though, he like just wants to be best bros with Dennis for life, cause Dennis is like soooo cool. He is definitely not in love with Dennis he just loves Dennis like, as a blood brother. HE IS NOT GAY BECAUSE THAT IS A SIN. HE SERIOUSLY LOVES GOD A LOT.

In Season 8's Dines out Dennis delivers a speech wherein he admits that he thinks of Mac as a man who knows exactly who he is. Season 9's Mac day shows the total elimination of this belief after a full day filled with Macs self hating homophobia contrasting with his out and proud cousin "country mac".

(Season 8 ep 2) Whelp, God only knows how we ended up here after a drought like season 7, but 8 kicks off with a bang with an out of nowhere kissing attempt from Mac… right in front of Charlie too. By the look on Dennis' face I'm going to guess this has never happened before. I genuinely wonder what compelled him to do this…. like….is he just always thinking about it and forgot hes not supposed to do it for real? was it instinct?

(Season 8 ep 6) Dennis deals with emotional numbness, and nothing he tries makes him feel anything until the end of the episode where he feels too much after seeing his dead mother. This is not overtly macdennis but I think it demonstrates how he struggles with emotion and why Mac believes that Dennis does not have feelings.

(season 8 episode 9) Mac and Dennis are going on a fancy dinner date every single month. Monthly dinner and weekly movie nights.... anyway. Mac is upset that Dennis won't say something nice to him so Dennis does a speech to the whole restaurant. Yes he did kinda do it to dunk on frank and charlie. Yes he loved the attention. I think he meant what he said.

(season 8 episode 10) Dennis gets turned on by Mac totally intellectually dominating him while giving his anti science presentation. Also in the car at the end Mac was flirting.

(season 9 episode 3) Mac day. Praise God. Dennis is drowning in a sea of Macs delusion. Mac believes himself to be totally badass and not at all gay while repeatedly demonstrating the opposite. Country Mac shows Dennis what Mac could be if he was all the things he said he was and just embraced that he was gay. Dennis resents Mac.

(season 9 episode 6) saves the day. Macs fantasy involves Dennis wailing over his corpse, proclaiming his love. Dennis' fantasy is interesting, revealing his fear that Mac would abandon him the moment his sexual appeal fades. He envisions the possibility of being loved for more than his sexual abilities, yet his declaration of love precludes Jackie being hit by a car, leading to the loss of her breasts, and Dennis choosing to leave her. Lot to unpack here.

(season 9 episode 8) Mac and Dennis are trying to catch a rat. Mac tries to bash the rat, but Dennis says that its not about brute force, its about seduction. He turns on some romantic music and they both sway back and forth, looking into each others eyes, Mac takes a step forward, but Dee enters the room and the second dennis sees her he spins around and walks away.

I also feel the need to point out that Mac and Dennis went to high school together, and Macs nickname in high school was....well... Ronnie the rat.

(season 9 episode 9) Mac writes into the script of lethal weapon a scene where he and Dennis, I kid you not, wrestle naked in a shower. If you can call it wrestling... though it's more accurately described as an opportunity for an intense, naked embrace.

(season 9 episode 10) Cute food fight scene. Their apartment burns down.

s10-11 Out of their natural environment

Following the incineration of their shared home, macdennis moves in with Dee and all three of them hate it so so much.

(season 10 episode 1) Dennis looks at Mac like he wants to eat him (4 min 24 seconds) Mac says wait Dennis don't go and Dennis turns like he's expecting.... I don't know.

(season 10 episode 5) Mac and Dennis take turns watching and jacking off to creampie videos. Some will say they could just find their own porn, however I think this is one of the numerous creative ways they've found to have a sex life with each other.

(season 10 ep 3) Dennis is diagnosed with BPD.

(season 10 ep 6) The gang embarks on a journey of independence, only to discover that their lives are intricately woven together. For better or worse they will never escape each other, and will likely live this way until they die.

(season 10 episode 10) Dennis creates an entire fake cult to get Mac to do things he wants him to do. Says Macs been looking so good so sexy lately *manipulative*

(season 11 episode 4) Mac turns off the video Dee made about Dennis being raped by the librarian.

(season 11 episode 5) Macdennis play house. Mac asks Dennis if he can hear the beep too, Dennis gaslights him and says no, meanwhile getting increasingly agitated by the pool filter. It's already been explained more better by others but basically this is a metaphor for Mac wanting Dennis to acknowledge what has been happening between them, while Dennis adamantly avoids doing so. Instead, he channels his frustrations into unrelated problems.

Dennis hates going to work alone all day and Mac hates staying home, which could easily be fixed by having Mac come to work with him. Instead, Dennis' solution is a "honey-do list" (a list of chores a man would give his wife) and a dog, which Mac names DENNIS JR. (parallel to Dennis' real kid who is named Brian Jr. ) This kind of relationship paralleling is a recurring theme; for example in gets romantic, double life, and celebrity booze).

In the beginning of the episode Dennis wants to listen to Bryan Adams in the car. At the end of the episode Mac confronts him by saying "everything I do I do it for you, and everything you do you do it for yourself". (referencing the title of a very romantic Bryan Adams song)

dennis says he hates him

(season 11 ep 6) Mac asks Frank if he thinks Dennis hates him, because he just wants him to think he's cool and he puts so much work into this relationship and *unintelligible* (seriously if anyone know what Mac is saying when Frank spaces out please message me)

(season 11 ep 8) Dennis also knows about the gay bar

(Season 11 ep 10) 🎵 Amazing Grace how sweet the sauce 🎵

Mac comes out. When they play fake dinner Mac talks about him and Dennis' future home where they will have dinner parties and touches Dennis' hand. Confused, Dennis questions the idea of it being "their" home, seemingly operating under the misconception that he and Mac might eventually part ways and not continue living together.

Mac prays to god that they be saved and after being rescued he goes back into the closet.

s12 Mac claims to be gay and Dennis leaves the state of Pennsylvania

Season 12 is my favorite season!

Mac comes out, has a gay dream, gives Dennis a present, tries to insert himself as 2nd father of Dennis' child, and is swiftly abandoned.

Things start to get a little too real for Dennis, and hes just a little too vulnerable. Perfectly it turns out he has an opportunity to live the typical nuclear family lifestyle he's envisioned for himself and escape all his troubles.

(season 12 episode 6) Gay Mac rules! rich gay Mac!

The watershed moment wherein Mac comes out as gay for real this time. Dennis is beyond shocked.

(season 12 episode 7) Mac fully grasps that his feelings for Dennis are romantic after having a dream where Dennis kisses him. Upon waking he goes to find Dennis. Again Dennis dances towards him and leans in, Macs eyes light up thinking that his dream is coming true but Dennis slams the door in his face.

(season 12 ep 8) Dennis wants to completely ignore Valentines day because he doesn't think he has anybody who really cares about/loves him. Everyone in the gang openly states that they don't think he has feelings.

At the end of the ep. Mac has Dennis open a crate, which turns out to be an RPG (something that Dennis thinks is awesome and talks about all the time), and he tears up, he's incredibly touched. When Mac says there is no rocket (rendering the gift effectively useless) Dennis says he doesn't care, he loves it. Mac figured out the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world and got it for him. This is likely not referring to the RPG but instead to the fact that he wanted someone to show him that they love him/care about him.

(season 12 ep 10) Dennis is revealed to have a son with Mandy, a woman who he had sex with on his layover from the wade boggs episode. To get him out of this jam Mac suggests they pretend to be in a relationship. Dennis, reluctantly going along with the plan, tells Mandy he sleeps with women but he is emotionally invested with Mac. When she is fine with it and says she wouldn't mind Brian Jr. having two dads, Mac enthusiastically agrees to parent Dennis' kid with him. When Dennis asks Mac why he would agree to that, since they are not a couple, Mac replies that he thought they could just keep pretending.

Mac wins a bet and gets to refurnish the apartment. He surprises Dennis by recreating their old apartment down to the last detail, save his own bedroom, which he leaves empty. He only buys Dennis a bed because he is hoping Dennis will go along with continuing to share a bed like they did at Dee's.

At the end of the episode Dennis announces he is leaving to go raise his son in North Dakota with Mandy. Nobody tries to stop him.

S13-14 DENNIS IS COMING BACK HOT

Dennis' 2 most angry/upset seasons.

In the season 13 promos Dennis is like a ghost, watching the gang laughing and talking without him. At some points they seem to notice that he's there, but just don't care. He is the only one spooked by the weird things happening around the bar.

In season 13 Dennis' returns and feels as though he is not important or needed by his friends. Mac has a journey of self-discovery, coming to terms with his sexuality and finding his identity as a gay man. Mac relies on Dennis to tell him what to do, desperate to please him, but Dennis wants Mac to take control and take care of him. Dennis only wants the illusion of control.

(Season 13 episode 1) Mac orders a sex doll of Dennis and swears he isn't blowing his loads into it. Dennis comes back.

(Season 13 episode 2) Mac finds a heart shaped lock clue whilst doing an escape room. Dennis says they should keep it between themselves.

(season 13 episode 4) Dennis holds a seminar where he publicly declares his own heterosexuality and lack of interest in Mac.

just gonna leave these quotes-

dennis- "some of you just haven't been careful enough, so youre asking yourself what can I do to save myself now. You gotta clean up your act otherwise you're going down, and you're gonna take me down with you and I ain't going down. You understand? I've been telling you this for years but you refused to listen"

----

mac- "and we should probably stop harassing them"

dennis, replying to Mac- " uh well you know, one step at a time we don't want the whole system to collapse" (but Macs only crime was being too open with his feelings for Dennis)

(season 13 ep 5) Dennis opens the floor for questions about his absence. He totally gets that everyone was giving him some space and respecting his privacy, and he's ready to talk about it now but...they just don't actually care....at all... (including Mac)

(season 13 episode 7) Its my personal interpretation that all of clip show happens in Dennis' mind in an episode of dissociation. He imagines that Mac decided to come with him to north Carolina. He imagines being confronted about why he would want to live with Mac if he "hates" him so much.

(season 13 episode 10) Mac comes out to his father in a beautiful interpretive dance and is rejected.

(season 14 episode 1) Mac tries to get into Dennis' good graces again by staging a scheme to get Dennis laid just like old times. Interestingly, Dennis isn't all that interested in banging. When its not working out with the woman, Dennis decides that it's because the leads are actually Mac and the husband. They can't seem to figure out that the leads are really each other.

Mac and Dennis are paralleled by the married couple while Charlie and Frank are mirrored by the father son duo..

"If you'd just give us a chance, we could tell a love story for the ages, a gay GAY ass love story". WE ARE READY AND SO WILLING

(season 14 episode 5) "Bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads." (also refer to Macs super long pining text messages)

(season 14 ep 6) "all that for a whistle, I wonder what you'd do for a biscuit" I really don't understand how but apparently this episode really did happen and it wasn't in someones dream or anything like that??

(season 14 episode 10) Dennis says to Mac it's time to end the game. This could be interpreted as being about their 14 season song and dance, and would be backed up by the fact that the next season shows Mac completely backing off.

s15-s16 Acceptance and regret

mac tries to move on, Dennis misses his baby boy

(season 15 episode 1) We get some cute broke back mountain Macdennis. They play guitar and sing a love song they wrote together, looking into each other's eyes.

(season 15 ep 4) There's a subtle moment that's easy to miss. Dennis pats Mac's hand when they are talking to Charlie and Mac looks down at it, taking a deep breath.

(season 15 ep 5) Dennis has COVID and Mac isn't concerned, in fact he is irritated that Dennis wont admit he's sick. This is a big change from the last couple of seasons where Mac is desperate to take care of Dennis.

(season 16 episode 1) Mac and Dennis throw away all of their furniture including their beds. They now share an inflatable bed/couch and sleep together in it (just a couple seasons ago Dennis was absolutely refusing to sleep in the same bed as Mac). They are touching so much in the bed. Dennis is concerned for Mac because he has been continuously consuming nuts that he is allergic to (there's a metaphor here) and is heavily wheezing. Dennis gently places two fingers on Macs neck to check his pulse.

If Dennis did not want to sleep in the bed with Mac he would have gone and bought another inflatable bed. He would have made Mac sleep on the ground. He would have gone to sleep at Dees house. He wanted to be in that bed with Mac.

(season 16 episode 4) Dennis creates a fake dating profile under the alias of "Johnny". He buys Mac extra large anal beads to put inside of him at all times, and turns them on to signal to Mac to meet him at a hotel. He says he did it to....get him out of the house? and to get Mac to....buy him crab?

Dennis looks so devastated when Mac says he's in love with Johnny. I kinda wonder if it's the idea that Mac could love someone else that upsets him... or if he's reacting to Mac telling him he is in love with him to his face?

This is also the episode where we learn that Dennis has a fool proof method for attracting men. When Mac and Dee ask why he has this system he just shushes them.

(season 16 episode 5) The relationship between Malcom and his dad is a parallel of Mac and Dennis's relationship. The speech at the end to me seems like its hinting that Mac knows more/ has more control and power than is let on.

NEW INFORMATION JUST DROPPED I have just been made aware of the actual parallel between Malcom and the dad possibly being Dennis and Frank.

(season 16 episode 8) Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!

Dennis takes a mental health day. Some people really hated this episode but I really liked it. Mac is putting coal in a pressure cooker to make diamonds. Dennis rips the CEO's (who is wearing a Hawaiian shirt like we've seen Mac wear) heart out, and squeezes it so hard it turns into a diamond and he eats it. This is a direct parallel to the nightman cometh where he also rips Macs heart out.

*edit to add* The director of this episode (who did not write the ep but still was involved in its creation obviously) Heath Cullens, in a reddit QA when asked if this was a nod to dayman replied "Nope. I think pretty much a coincidence." which I think is a total missed opportunity tbh.

This was all in Dennis' mind, and it seems to me that the Mac "situation" has left him with a sense of powerlessness. He feels isolated, trapped in an endless nightmare of his own creation, and he has nobody he can count on to help him, there's nobody he can rely on, he can only trust himself. Compressing the coal into a diamond represents Dennis molding everything to be exactly as he wishes, and by swallowing it he reclaims absolute control.

Always sunny book- : the 7 secrets of awakening the highly effective four-hour giant, today

"Mac for instance is also a 3 in ugly, so even if this exercise we're going to try fails, you'll have some company at your ugly parties. For the record, on the ugly scale charlie is a five, frank is a six, and Dee is a nine." - Dennis

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm having a GREAT time

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Aug 2024 Week 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) eps 7-8 of 12 - I do love these 2 a lot. It’s such a slow burn sweet comforting quiet little romance. It’s not complicated, it’s not stretching my thoughts or imagination, but it is easy and absorbing. I'm entertained by it without being taxed. And sometimes that’s nice. It's what Thailand does best.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 3 of 10 - Oh I’m still enjoying it. It’s only episode three and they’re basically boyfriend’s palling around shopping together and hanging out on a bicycle. What’s not to love? Also he got to meet the in-laws. Well… eventual in-laws. Also the girlfriend character. I totally forgot about her. Good times.

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - Baby faints. Bad guys caught and beat up a bit. Lots of romantic moments, come checking in with ALL the sides, and it ends.

Summary?

Classic CEO meets ingenue archetypes make for a somewhat banal and simplistic romance. This could’ve come from an 80s Harlequin, except that they’re gay. It's... old fashioned. There was nothing meta about this, there was no subversion or commentary on anything BL, queer, or beyond. It’s just a straight up (okay not straight) romance. I was not wild about these characters for this particular pair, but that’s not the pair's fault, they did a decent job with their parts and I look forward to their next show - here’s hoping it’s a bit more meaty. I preferred the side couple because they were more complex and true to BL archetypes, even if they were also a bit miss-handled. A serviceable show if somewhat lacking in its convictions, but with some beautiful sex scenes, people, and fashion. I was a particular fan of Lin‘s gender bending femme style. It’s groundbreaking to see that aesthetic on one of the leads. There were multiple times they could’ve leaned into well established plot points, paranormal elements, and character tension, and instead just glossed over them.

This should probably get a 7/10, but I’m giving it an 8 because of that one oppa line at the beginning, Tenon's tatas, and the call back to Big Dragon with that iconic musical refrain in the final episode. It was a pretty fun ride, emphasis on pretty and ride. 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 5 of 12 - Lots of kissing this episode. And lots of different kinds of kissing from the same two actors in various different forms and characters. I really liked it. It’s nice to see that this pair can mix it up a little bit, even if it's just with their lips.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - OK the leg care massage was so boyfriend I can’t even. Who are they trying to fool? I love the way Ing always knows exactly what is going on. Thank goodness for that confession! I’m very much looking forward to the next episode.

(The socratic method, is it?)

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 9 of 12 - Still couldn’t care less about the hets. Yawn. Ah Jane’s ex shows up. (Is that Green? Hi baby!) Meanwhile, Jane gets worried and jealous. I loved Pah in this ep, and almost wish this were a show just about him. Like a grown-up Green Fictions. (Where tf did Poon COME from allasudden? He’s a killer actor. GMMTV better use him wisely.) Also, in that scene with Pat and P’Jo, they’re eating some of my favorite food. I got a little bit of linguistic negotiation with Khun Par Phi. Cuteness. And we end with some actual communication. Yay!!! It’s kind of hilarious to see OffGun in a tentative hug. I don’t think they’ve been that way for a years.

In fact, this whole episode was pretty much about communicating properly between ages and ranks within an office and social structure. I loved that. I’m liking this one more this week. It’s still not my favorite currently airing, but I think that mostly has to do with how much other good stuff is on right now.

SPEAKING OF...

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 3-4 of 12 - Uh huh, a game of one-up-man-ship is it? I think not. That boy wants to jump his cute stepbrother’s bones so bad that big brain of his is starting to melt. I'm here for it. Also, said sunshine cutie is clearly a big old cock tease. Everybody is happy about this. They sure know how to end these episodes on cliffhangers too. I don’t know how I’m gonna wait until next week.

I’m legit mad about how fucking good this is. After Unknown too?! Taiwan is spoiling us this year and THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING IT ALL ALONG.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 3-4 of 10 - Oh my goodness do I love this show. It makes me laugh, I adore the premise, I'm wild over the characters, and the acting is killer. I’m just really happy about this show, OK? I tend to sing and clap: Oh they so cute.

Baby got his first crush and he has no idea what to do about it. I ADORE how angry he is about it. Like... How dare I even consider falling in love with somebody? How annoying of me. It’s great. I even liked the girl in the confession and how cool and sweet they both were to each other over his rejection. Bang up job. This is fantastic BL of the newer modern style. (As contrasted to On1y)

These top two shows are neck and neck for best of the week, for entirely different reasons. But I love all my sons.

Speaking of...

Cosmetic Playlover (Japan Tues Gaga) eps 7-8 fin - Oh it’s so adorable with the drama and the little subordinate coming to their rescue, and them meeting each other’s family. "I want to become someone who is essential in your life" = peak romance.

Summation?

I loved this little show. It was a classic office BL about the older workaholic who loves his job and the younger upstart who unexpectedly loves his boss. It’s a hyung romance where everybody is extremely earnest and sweet and pretty about everything. Except our seme, who is slightly unhinged and a little obsessed in all the ways one likes best from Japan. Plus the kisses were good! I can’t ask for anything more, utterly charming unexpected gem of a show. What a great time! 9/10

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - The lack of communication between these 2 may actually drive me insane. But I still love them. Such a sad ep. 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 3 of 8 - Argh but also oooooo. I bet the uncut version was fantastic this week.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 5-6 of 12 - I'm starting to like this better. I’m still not convinced, but I did enjoy watching it this week. I’m getting some chemistry off the leads. Admittedly. that’s because they both behave like 16-year-olds. Surprise MosBank cameo - looking handsome as ever, boys. (Honestly, Taiwan really wants that King of the Cameos crown.) And FINALLY our side couple. I’m looking forward to next week primarily because of them. And I don’t even have them yet!

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - OK the lap cuddle was v cute. As was the handholding. But hiking with a metal griddle? Insanity. Might be the craziest thing in a BL this year. And The Sign aired this year. Meanwhile, not a dead fish kiss! Yay! 

It's airing but...

4 Minutes (Sat Gaga) eps 1-6 of 8 - Gaga picked this one up so we can watch it there. I'm waiting until the end, it seems angsty and confusing and full of awful people being awful. But also... high heat and I'm shallow. So we shall see which devil wins (and how it ends).

In case you missed it

Meet You at the Blossom (China) - I'm eating crow, binging the fucker, and live blogging. It's just taking me some time. This isn't really a bingable show, not for me anyway. It's A LOT to take all at once.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming SEPTEMBER 2024:

9/? The Time of Fever (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps - HoTae & DongHee are back! Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names I an WILD for this.

9/1 Live in Love (Thai Sun Gaga) 5 eps - Short series featuring and online romance turning IRL.

9/3 Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - Based on a manga, longer than usual run time. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL. Here it is!

9/6 Kidnap (Thai Friday GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - Ohm Pawat is back for Frigays it's gonna be a blast.

9/7 The Hidden Moon (Thai Sat ????) 10 eps - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) ‘เดือนพราง’ by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger)... A Bangkok writer is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai which is being converted into a café. He gets into an accident and nearly dies on his way there. After that, he sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, one boy catches his attention. Was substantially recast.

9/9 Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) 12 eps? - Be gay YinWar, do crimes. Dehup gives us Yin, War, Mark and a few other familiar faces in a Leverage sitch, only queerer.

9/14 Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps - Remake of the original. I'm scared too.

9/15 Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - Assistant to a player boss who is in love with that boss decides to quit to save himself. The boss then makes a move. (A gay What's up with Secretary Kim?)

9/17 Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 10 eps - Lawyer and a con artist meet at a bar, pair up, fall in love.

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

Adventures in miss-captions

(been a while since we had one of these)

SNICKER "nail you" and a "nail you down" = completely different things. But this being Japan they might have met either or both. (Cosmetic)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Why yes, you do have the prettiest lips in the biz. No need to tease us like that. (Battle)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

[byemambo]

The Beauty of Subtlety and Change: A Deep Dive [We Are EP. 12]

As more episodes come out every week, I fall more and more in love with this series. I know when the trailer came out, there were some people that we off put by "another university/engineering student" series, or weren't as enthusiastic about the comedy being present in the series, I think that's fair since everyone has their own preferences and qualms with how past series have approached this genre, but I truly believe once people give it a chance and start to watch the further episodes, I start realizing how intentional and well crafted the character development has been with each introduction of a new story arc or group dynamic. Eventually I want to dissect more parts of the series that I resonated with, but the first definitely has to be Tan and Fang's development as the series progresses.

One thing I appreciate about the handling of these two characters, which I continue to give my flowers to Aou and Boom. This is my first time watching them in a series (I was only familiar with Pond and Phuwin from Never Let Me Go, as well as Tee when he played a supporting role in Only Friends), and I instantly fell in love with their on screen characters, but eventually the actors themselves as the series progressed. Both actors do an amazing job portraying the personalities of their characters and their distinct differences between their past and present selves, where the performance is well thought out without being too over the top which is what the sound effects are for hahaha.

In episode 12, the conversation between Tan and Fang caught my attention the most, especially when I rewatched episodes in my free time while waiting for new episodes to drop. When Tan shares his story with the gang about how Fang and him met during episode 9, you wouldn't have even thought both of them would be as hot headed as they were in high school versus how we were introduced to them as university students in the first few episodes.

These exchanges with Fang reflected Tan's past self well: a smart ass, condescending, provoking. I think the juxtaposition between past Tan and present Tan really shows itself when we see how Tan speaks about Fang in private now that they're an established couple: compassionate, attentive, loving. Aou does an amazing job with his microexpressions, saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Episode 9 vs. Episode 12

What was even more of a shock to me was the introduction of Fang's past self, completely opposite of how we were introduced to him in the first few episodes. High school Fang was also just as condescending and hot headed, which was later revealed by Tan that he only punched Fang back to save face on the field with other people around. But can we please address how much of a menace Fang is from that expression alone?

Episode 9

To think that present Fang, someone observant, reliable, and introverted, used to be someone blunt, confrontational and spiteful only reinforced my belief in the evolution of individuals: that a person of their past is in fact, the same person in the present, that not everyone should be tied down to the person they used to be and to make room for the person they're aiming to become. I noticed the shift in their perception of one another when we watch the second half of the flashback after Tan helps Phum and Fang escape an ambush.

Episode 9

This becomes one of my favorite Tan moments so far (as of episode 12): the defining moment of his innate character as selfless, courageous, and heroic. That despite how Tan felt about Fang after their first encounter and the many other arguments and fights to come, that never crossed Tan's mind when he first witnessed the confrontation: that his natural instinct was to help. He further reinforces this value when Phum asked him why he helped them, Tan answering: "I don't believe in dirty tricks."

Episode 9

After Tan's true character redefines itself in Fang's eyes as this asshole that instigated an argument with him for no reason actually has a heart of gold? We also see this shift in perception between Tan as he witnessed Fang's brotherly nature helping Phum with his injuries, later creating a core memory between the three as both of them let their guards down and mutually accept: "You know, this is all turning out way different than what I expected and...I'm not mad at it." In my humble opinion not that I find helping people/aiding people to be an extremely attractive trait in someone, this planting of the seed that leads up to their own way of flirting and eventually becoming a couple makes sense and as Q says: "You're totally rivals-to-lovers". The ability to protect and help others is a strong trait to have, and this makes sense once Fang begins to open up to Tan about his home life.

When Fang seeks out Tan during episode 12 after seeing his brother and father argue, the best way I could put Fang's complicated feelings into words: survivor's guilt. Fang reaffirms this idea through sharing:

"The moment he returned from abroad, I could still remember the look in his eyes clearly. It has remained my trauma until today."

As someone who identifies with Phum and his upbringing in being the lesser favored child by our parents, having a sibling grow up alongside you being raised by the same-but-different parents is a difficult pill to swallow on both ends, especially as we get older and begin to realize how intense and traumatic that experience can be when we reflect back on childhood, often times manifesting into resentment as we see with Phum and his parents currently in the story. On how real those discrepancies become when intervention and self reflection occurs, on quite frankly, how shitty it is to finally see the ugly truth after disregarding reality or protecting (intentionally or not) those who are the root causes of the pain and suffering.

I resonate with Phum and his journey in learning how to express himself in effective ways that can be heard through the ears of others, even though our childhood made us believe that we're not worthy of bare minimum love and attention, that we're bound to be misunderstood. A lot of Phum's tendencies at the beginning make sense for someone dealing with childhood trauma and abandonment issues cause same here, resulting in isolation, disconnection, and eventually waking up surviving every day instead of living every day. Something I personally battle with in my daily life that I'm sure Phum can relate to: "If my own parents can't support and love me unconditionally, who can and who will? Will I even experience that one day? And if I do, how long will it take until it's taken away from me?" Fang also brings up this same insecurity when opening up to Tan:

"Though I act unreasonable and don't behave well sometimes, if one day you feel you no longer want to be with me, just tell me straight. Because if you disappear, I would be in so much pain."

I'm sure once Fang really understood the effects of Phum's treatment by his parents, his need and "role" to protect and care for Phum intensifies, the conflict between pleasing his parents while also pleasing and helping his brother becomes burdensome to the point where he disregards his own feelings in order to "keep the peace." Although these methods seem rational and effective in the moment, it's only a matter of time before the methods become obsolete and unsustainable, and the foundation built on sticks and desperation to remedy the pain and chaos collapses. Then what finally remains is someone who's scared of the unknown, scared of reentering the same detrimental period of preparing for peace time and war time, someone who regulated themselves through adapting hypervigilance and eventually, general anxiety (as someone diagnosed with anxiety, Fang's moments of overwhelm and "dramatic" all or nothing statements are clear as day to overthinkers), someone who realizes that he can't save everyone, and that's a horrifying feeling to accept once you subject yourself to being the peacemaker.

Episode 12

Being able to see how Tan eases Fang's anxiety (which is well depicted in Boom's acting cause I know that feeling of wanting to be brave and express the truth and trying not to cry through it) was incredibly sweet and became one of my favorite moments the two share. That outside of Tan's go lucky, hyper, and expressive self (who used to be this closed off person that only began really changing once his friends gave him an ultimatum to quit fighting or their friendship ends and poor Peem having to find out the truth of Tan's injuries that wasn't from a bike accident LOL) is an emotionally intelligent, understanding, and aware individual that only wants what's best for his loved ones in the moment. Rather than only hearing Tan's reassurances, which is a result of losing faith in other people and dealing with their lack of credibility in their words versus their actions, we see this during Phum's argument with his father when he double downed:

"I'm paying attention to you now. Everything I've done is for you."

When you hear everything in the book and fail to not only see real action, but accountability and seeking of forgiveness through apologizing is like pulling teeth with some generation of parents, so I truly believe the reaction Phum exhibited was expected. When there's no true understanding of the effects a parent's decision had on a child, there's no foundation put in place to accept and move forward. Skipping steps such as reflection, apologizing, and accountability and getting straight to what you think your child wants is not only disregarding: it's insulting. Given that Phum experienced many iterations of this throughout his childhood, I can only imagine Fang experiencing this secondhand or through witnessing his younger brother dealing with these hardships. When words stop having meaning, the weight of people's words can only hold so much value for individuals that deal with anxious tendencies. In my words: "I need to see it to believe it."

Not only does Tan verbally reassure Fang and telling him not to overthink, he also extends this same sentiment through physical touch. Hand holding, grabbing him by the shoulders, poking his nose, hugging, any moment to be playful with Fang. Growing up with an absent parent usually means an overall lack of physical affection, which can feel unfamiliar or foreign and become even more meaningful to those to express their love and adoration through physical touch, which you can see throughout the scene as Tan's reassurance is calming Fang down and finally bringing him to smile for the first time during their conversation.

For all the people who believed that Fang wasn't showing affection enough for Tan and that he didn't like Tan as much as Tan liked him: I will defend Fang like no other because I identify with him. I'm not one to have a track record on expressing my love for others through physical touch (which doesn't mean I despise it, I just simply forget that's another form of affection I'm allowed to express), which doesn't discount Fang's expression of love and writing him off as unaffectionate simply because Tan has established his primary love language to be physical touch. We see Fang's affection and reciprocation of affection most through quality time and acts of service, such as him allowing Tan to help him with his architecture projects or keeping him company, or Fang trying to reach Tan through phone to see him after a rough time with his professor and ready to beat up whoever upset his babe, or Tan waiting for Fang to finish class for them to go eat dinner together. Fang has also exhibited his love and affection through buying Tan little treats or making him his only mastered recipe spaghetti which Tan will never complain about because it's the thought that counts.

It may not seem as overt and obvious as Tan's expression of love, but we can't deny Fang's love for him that's simply a quieter version of love. Just because it's different, it doesn't make one invalid versus the other, look at his smile from him being around his silly little boyfriend. But as time goes on as these two strengthen their bond as a couple, we can already see how Tan's habits and antics rub off on Fang through playful exchanges. Although Fang is more shy about expressing his feelings, it becomes a beautiful balance of your ideal golden retriever-black cat relationship and a wonderful representation of how successful couples become with candid communication, understanding, and reassurance.

Ok I think I got everything out on the hill I'll die on now, so if you've made it this far, I hope I entertained you enough and left you with from food for thought, but I also appreciate your engagement if you have any thoughts! All is much appreciated <3 As you can see, I'm very normal about this series hehehe

[glorious-sunset]

LBFAD Closing Artwork – Hidden Meanings, Part 2

The amount of thought that went into the artwork of LBFAD (Love between Fairy and Devil) is astounding! Parallel to the opening artwork, the closing artwork has 12 images, with the last showing events after the close of the series :D The images are grouped into themes and have many hidden meanings. Images 5-12 are discussed here (see Closing Artwork Part 1 for my discussion of images 1-4).

Image 5: Oblivion River bordering Cangyan Sea (image above)

Images 5-8 as a group show important locations within the series.

The Oblivion River itself is very significant as the warfront between Shuiyuntian and Cangyan Sea, and the resting place of spirits. Xiao Lanhua’s (XLH) simple wish at the Lantern Festival is for Oblivion River to be free of war. Besides war, Ronghao’s (RH) actions have added to the tragedy here, as the tortured spirits of both Moon Tribe and Fairy Tribe members are unable to rest. The first step toward peace is achieved here as DongFang QingCang (DFQC) and Changheng (CH) work together to bring relief to these poor spirits.

The hunters’ camp that DFQC and XLH visit in ep. 15 is located not far from the banks of the Oblivion River. The people of Cangyan Sea work hard for their sustenance and rely on hunting and fishing. The hunting aspect of their culture is represented by the injured deer in image 5.

The deer is also a good metaphor for CH. From ep. 26 until the series end, he wears antler-like headgear. Where a finger of Cangyan Sea stretches into the Oblivion River, on two occasions he receives profound psychological hurts. In ep. 27, he first learns from DFQC and XLH that RH is not the man he thought he was. RH was his only friend, and someone that he had trusted completely! But he didn’t know RH’s true nature at all. This shock is followed by a heart-breaking conversation with XLH. They had just married each other in the mortal realm and he tells her that he meant every marriage vow they made to each other. He finally reveals his feelings. But she rejects him all the same. As he tells Yunzhong (YZ) later in this episode, she was the only colour in his grey world and he now has no reason to live. He practically forces YZ to sentence him to execution. Like the dying deer in the image, at this point he is on the cusp of death.

In ep. 30, CH returns to this area to confront Xunfeng prior to the war. He learns that XLH’s life will be sacrificed when the war begins. Against his strongest instincts, CH had entrusted XLH to DFQC, and now it seems that DFQC is throwing XLH’s life away! D: CH hadn’t wanted any part of this war, but he is forced to lead the army to protect his love.

Also in ep. 30, Jieli confronts Dieyi by the Oblivion River, tricks her with an illusion of XLH, and bluffs her way into getting the antidote for Shangque. A great final act for Jieli, as she now expects to die from her own poison. Her only thought had been of protecting her friends, knowing the price she would have to pay would be her life.

Image 6: Tree of Emotions

During their hunters’ camp visit, XLH and DFQC discover that his metaphysical Tree of Emotions has started to sprout leaves! XLH walking beneath the Tree is a reference to DFQC telling Taisui in ep. 36 that “she has left traces all over the sea of my emotions.” From the very beginning to the very end, XLH has been the focus of DFQC’s emotions. She has triggered all seven emotions in him to intense degrees: joy, worry, sadness, pity, love, hate, jealousy (hate towards her enemies and jealousy towards CH, all because of his love for her).

Image 7: Lucheng

What’s not to love about the charming city of Lucheng? :D 500 copies of XLH’s likeness are posted all over town! DFQC and XLH spend a lot of time being jealous of each other’s engagements :D They spend months living together in Mr DongFang’s compound. A flower is bought with one gold bar. And wishes are made during their beautiful Lantern Festival date.

The wishes that XLH made come true! She wishes that DFQC “will always be safe and happy, surrounded by friends, brothers, loyalty and love, and never lonely again.” The effect is seen as early as ep. 26 as DFQC bonds with Xunfeng (XLH says “I think my wish seems to have come true.”) Later, his three “brothers” Xunfeng, Shangque and Changheng, and the Kings of Northern and Southern Youxin counties band together to save him when he is comatose. Finally, they loyally follow his orders to aid Shuiyuntian in the last episode! XLH’s wish that the Oblivion River be free of war also comes true.

DFQC’s wish, “XLH, I want you to stay by my side forever,” is partially fulfilled when XLH proposes to him a few episodes later. And by the end of the series it has come true :D

Image 8: Haishi

Haishi, the seaport city hiding a big bad den of evil, doesn’t have a lot of screentime. It appears in eps. 2-15 but not after that. The image shows the terraces of Haishi next to the central bridge. This view is seen only once in the series very briefly in ep. 3. (I discuss Haishi in more detail here).

Image 9: XLH against Shuiyuntian

Images 9-12 as a group show important events that occur after Lucheng.

The scene in ep. 26 where XLH faces off against the Shuiyuntian army is a pivotal moment for her. She is given the option of returning home to Arbiter Hall or Fountain Palace, which is exactly what she has been dreaming of since ep. 1. All she has to do is sacrifice DFQC. Easy choice, right? And so it is; she doesn’t need to think twice to realise that her idea of home is now wherever DFQC is. As DFQC says in ep. 35, she made an enemy of the world just to follow him. (This is repeated in the OST song Amnesia, “I once made the world my enemy.”)

This is the second time she has faced the might of Shuiyuntian. In ep. 9, she is accused of being a Moon tribe spy and would have done anything (except endanger Da Qiang) to protect her right to be accepted in Shuiyuntian. Now, she will do anything to protect DFQC.

Image 10: War

War between Cangyan Sea and Shuiyuntian strikes again. Unlike the images of the war 30,000 years ago seen in the opening artwork, this war has key differences. DFQC and CH are unwilling adversaries of each other. The Moon Tribe have very few soldiers, and their women and children are on the battlefield. YZ fabricated a blatant lie in order to attack and annihilate the Moon Tribe :(

Image 11: Our hero returns

This is the very last scene of the series (this artwork is my favourite!) After a long, cruel, 500 years of absence, DFQC has finally found his way back! He emerges as the ultimate hero, after his long journey from the heartless villain who tried to kill an innocent fairy. This ‘fairy’ now means everything to him.

His lovable mannerisms are shown in the image. One hand is behind his back (regal) and one cradles XLH’s head as he pulls her in for a kiss (dominating). The robes he wears are the same as in the last scene. Both have their eyes closed to savour this long, long, long-awaited moment :D

Image 12: The Rest of Eternity

As in the opening artwork, the twelfth and final image of the closing art is of the OTP’s life after the series end! They might be sitting on a boat on the Oblivion River. Then again, it could be a location we haven’t seen in the series - travelling on their honeymoon! DFQC has removed his crown, and hence his responsibilities at least for the moment, which supports the idea that they are on holiday. The lavender dress that XLH wears is of very special significance (covered in my ep. 5 review). And finally, they can watch the sunrise together every day for the rest of eternity :D

Here is a link to my article: LBFAD Closing Artwork – Hidden Meanings, Part 1

All of my LBFAD articles can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Religious symbolisms on EP 12 in Christian and Buddhism/Hinduism perspectives

Isn’t it amusing that the final episode, EP12, fell on this year’s Lenten week? Rebirth and resurrection, the anastasis… those themes. Easter Sunday, the Christian Jesus alive again overcoming Death itself.

Isami Ao being reborn as Bravern’s latest persona, Burn Brave Big Bang, to defeat the all-powerful of all the Death Drives. Most of all, Lewis Smith coming back. His own resurrection, his own rebirth.

Burn Brave Big Bang is definitely Isami complete with his standard snarl

Verum Vita. What’s in a name? First off, it is a bastardised Latin that lacks an “e” at the end that means “the truth of life,” which sounds ironic as her lust for murder supersedes.

Upon introducing Verum Vita, a choir-like music could be heard chanting in Latin. (It was reminiscent of Carmina Burana’s “O, Fortuna” or “Dies Irae” by Guiseppe Verdi.) Then a pink lotus 🪷 appeared on her feet/bottom of her tower. A lotus has a significant meaning in different religions. In Christianity, flowers don’t often play an integral part in worship. Though, it represents purity and God’s creation of the universe. However, in Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism and Sikhism, the lotus signifies purity of the heart, soul, and mind, and also, rebirth. It is an extraordinary exemplary as such that it remains pure and clean when coming out from the murky waters.

Usually, Hindu and Buddhism religious arts consist of deities either seated or floating on a lotus flower.

Verum Vita resembled the deity Kisshōten, the equivalent of Lakshmi in Japanese Buddhism. With a blossoming lotus under her feet, this goddess symbolises fertility, wealth, prosperity and beauty. The lotus under Verum Vita was not just any colour, but pink. In Buddhism, “the pink lotus flower is the supreme lotus and is considered to be the true lotus of Buddha.”

A few frames later, the lotus pedestal where she used to stand on transformed into marsh grass, which could be interpreted as the moment her fallen mask, her real intention, was revealed. Instead of holding a wish-fulfilling jewel called Cintamani, Verum Vita was holding a sword.

It is interesting the way this series subvert everything and use the religious imagery as the forces of evil subjugating the humankind.

Both Isami and Verum Vita both declared that they didn’t want to die. But there lies the difference between the two. When the first one wanted to save the world, the other strived to destroy it.

It feels like a mishmash of all beliefs fused into one huge spectacle to make this episode parts parody, parts fairy tale, and it is interesting to watch.

[mama-qwerty]

Thinking about Dread again.

Was going through my saved images and came across these, from the third season.

My deranged beloved has become a sad little meow meow.

So pensive. So frustrated. So defeated.

(My favorite image of him in this scene. I love that pose, it's so natural and conveys so much about his mental and emotional state.)

I still think the way they handled his 'redemption' completely missed the mark, and could have been done much better had they planted a few seeds to begin with. But the pacing of the whole series felt so odd, and I wonder if they had something different planned before Netflix (possibly) cut their time shorter.

(For the record, I think that's part of the problem with the Knuckles series. It felt like there should have been more in that, but Paramount told them they only had 6 eps to do what they wanted in 12.)

But Dread? My beloved little gremlin of a pirate? Oh, he had so much potential. He could have been this wild card, this character who continued to be him despite everything, who was so anti-Knuckles it was entertaining and fun and just a joy to watch him have so much fun being a bastard.

I get that they couldn't keep a Knuckles as an absolute asshole, but watching this delightful character go from this

To this

without seeing anything in between was jarring. The last we saw of Dread before season 3 started was him fighting with Ren as Sonic and Nine took the shards away. He was enraged to have lost his Beauty. Again. We have no idea what happened after that, but this descent into depression seemed sudden and out of character.

But considering how he behaved after his first loss of the shard (when he lost his first ship and crew), maybe this isn't that much of a stretch. He ran before, jumping nose first into denial, and tried to cover his feelings of defeat by being a party pirate. Now his Beauty is lost once again, and he's in a strange city, on another planet (in another universe!) and has made himself at odds with the people there. (With his other him.) He couldn't even contact his crew because he'd turned on them before leaving.

So here's Dread, completely out of his element, the one thing he'd lusted after his entire life gone. It would figure that he'd maybe have a bit of Ren's depressive state, and fall into a "What's the point? What I want always seems to be just out of reach. I'll never have my one true desire." mindset.

And maybe, since the shards were all gone, he's feeling some kind of mental shift. I've theorized that the shard's energy was what made Dread so batshit, and now that it's gone, maybe he's starting to think a little more clearly than he'd ever done before. Instead of that drive to "FIND HAVE KEEP" that gem, he's feeling like a failure for not being able to fulfill that quest. That duty. Because maybe to him, it didn't feel like the normal greed of pirate plunder, the urge to just take and steal and collect as much booty as possible. Maybe to him, because he's a Knuckles and they're hard wired to protect, it was something more personal.

That shard, according to his instincts, was his to protect. And now that it's gone, he's a failure and feels empty. He's coming down off that energy, the inexplicable hold the shard held over him, and is essentially going through a withdrawal of sorts, and dealing with the possibly conflicting emotions it dredged up.

There was so much potential for him. And the writers wasted it, by having him simply join in on the attack on Nine without examining his (very likely) ulterior motives. I don't like that they used that Jack character to draw Dread's selfish desires back out - those should have still been there! The whole agreement to join in should have been a plot to simply get him near his Beauty so he could pull a double cross.

This made it seem like Dread didn't even think about his Beauty during the whole battle. WHAT?? Being near it should have made him almost feral with the want to get to it. I would have loved to have seen him be another obstacle to the shard, so the heroes didn't only have to deal with Nine and his endless army of bots, but also this deranged pirate who was overcome with treasure lust.

Missed opportunity.

Ah well.

Just lookit this handsome bastard.

My beloved. Dread is possibly my absolutely favorite variant of Knuckles. I just love him.

[thefriendoforatioisdead]

Ep 11 of Dream made me realize how much I love sex scenes in gls, and ep 12 really solidified it for me. And it goes further than the fact that I enjoy watching women kissing.

First of all, for having watched a few gls now, from various countries, as series and as films, I've just come to realize and feel how each pair of actresses truly make something unique to themselves in those scenes. I don't know how much is the work of the director and how much is theirs, and I guess it depends, but I find that no couple does the same thing. Those are the kind of scenes where I feel like I'm seeing the extent of their connection, because I imagine that these can't be easy to film, and it's probably a bit awkward, especially because there's so many people around, but they manage to make it believeable anyway. I think that requires a lot of trust and that's beautiful. Comparing Gap, Dream, TSOU, and Blank (to stay in the world of thai gl) I found that each couples brought something very unique which is pleasant and touching to see, because it's in those moments that I feel like I'm touching the realest thing (because no matter their sexuality and their feelings or whatever, it requires a true human connection still to make something good) and I find it beautiful.

Second of all, I've known about my identity for a long time now, and it doesn't really feel like it used to anymore to see gay things, because I'm just constantly surrounded by it now, and yet, when I watch those shows, no matter the quality, the country, the plot...When I look at those scenes...I just find again something that ressembles the emotion felt by the kid I was, watching the girls like girls music video for the first time and being amazed to see something like that. It just makes me a little emotional and remember how lucky I am to be able to have access to all this content. Representation matter.

It also matters to show lesbian relationships in that aspect because even if sex is not everything there is about it, far from that, and we could have endless talks about the male gaze, at the end of the day, we deserve to see that it's not something to hide or keep secret.

In conclusion : let's keep the sapphic content coming !

[dudadragneel]

I'm just updating this

So, here's the list I said I'd share.

This is a mess, there's manga, webtoon, kdrama, jdrama, animes, tv series...

Not all of them are whump, some might be just my favorite episodes (probably because the animation was good.

ChaoS Child - 10 (vomit)

Tales of Zestiria - 4 (nausea)

Argevollen - 15 (vomit)

M3 - 3 (vomit)

Mob psycho 2 - 6 (vomit)

Persona 5 - 2,4,5, 15 (pain, injury)

Dororo - 5, 12 (faint, fever)

Fukigen na mononokean tsuzuki - 6 (faint)

Donten ni warau - 3 (nausea)

Darling in the franxxx - 5,6,11,12, 13,15,17, 18,21 (fever, faint, pain)

Duel ep 8 (vomit)

Wolf's rain ep 5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,14

God's Quiz - season 2 ep 12 (vomit)

God eater - 5, 6❤, 9,10 (injury)

Re: zero - 5,8, 10 (vomit)

Sign language - 68 (fever)

Aldnoah zero - 5 (vomit)

Battery chapter 10 (vomit)

Forever mine - 43,44,45,46, 63, 64,65, 69 (collapse)

Kakao 79 - 113-115 (fever)

Plastic memories - 07, 12 ( faint)

Doukyonin - 08 (faint)

Miira - 3,07 (fever faint)

Goboutan - 12 (fever faint)

Plastic Memories - 07 (faint)

Hyouka - 07 (nausea)

Black Lagoon - 1 (vomit)

Full metal Panic Fumoffu - 2, 8 (fever faint)

Knights of sidonia - 2 (vomit, faint)

Fruits basket - 23

Ai yori aoshi - 4

Guardian - 8

My love from another star - 9, 16

Guardian - 8,9,10,12, 19, 20,21, 23, 28

Love shuttle - 2,3,4,5,6,9,10, 11,12 (fever, vomit)

Riverdale - 4season ep 1

GRAND HOTEL - 1Temp - 7 3 TEMP - 2,3, 19,20 (injury)

Tokyo ghoul movie (emeto)

TEEN WOLF- Season 6 ep 6, season 1 - 1,2,6,8,11, season 2 - 6,7,9,10, season 3 - 5,6,11, 13 season 5 - 6,9 , season 6 - 13

RIVERDALE- 1- 10,11,12

Love stage - 9 (fever)

Skip beat - 15 (fever)

Miira no kaikata - 07 (fever)

DETECTIVE CONAN -  49,188,191,193,522,927,928,219, 118,126 (pain - faint)

Bleach - 9

Code breaker - 6

Tada kun - 9 (fever)

Mayonaka no ocult komuin - 1

Omiai (hentai) - 5,6 (fever)

Naruto - 140

DIVE!!- 12 (faint)

Katsute - 09

Beelzebub Ojou - 04

Cagaster -3,4,5

Pinocchio - 5,12,13

Itaewon class - 10 (emeto)

Richard - 10

Kakafukaka - 5 (emeto)

Uzaki - chan - 3 (fever)

Titan's bride - 4

Grisaia - ep 1 & 3 (vomit)

The God of Highschool - ep 5 (vomit)

Run with the wind - 8 (fainting), 18 ,19,20 (fever)

Kanojo okarishimasu - 73 (emotional breakdown/vomit)

Inuyasha - 18, 19, 20, 21, 28, 32, 42,45, 46, 51, 57,58, 70, 78, 82, 87, 90, 89, 107, 113, 117, 122, 125, 126, 132, 137, 138, 140, 146, 155, 156, 161, 162, 163, 164, 167

Umibe no etranger - 7

Kkondae intern - 8

One piece 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83

Kekkai sensen - ep 4, 5, 8

Kekkao sensen and beyond - 9

Tensei shitara slime datta ken - 10,11,13

Persona 5 - 2,4,5, 15

Dororo - 5, 12

Fukigen na mononokean tsuzuki - 6

Donten ni warau - 3

Darling in the franxxx - 5,6,11,12, 13,15,17, 18,21

Naruto shippuden - 9,11,17,18,19,20,23,24,25,26,29,30,31, 39,40,41,42,43,44,45,49,50,52,56,68,70,71,73,74,75,79 ❤,80 😢,81,82😢, 84 ,85 🤯,86, 87 🤯🤯, 88🤯,89

Fruits bqsket ep 12j

13 reasons why - 4×02

WHUMP

ChaoS child - 10

Tales of Zestiria - 4

Argevollen - 15

Kimetsu no yaiba - 12

The K2 - 4

Healer - 6,12, 13,14

Train 2020 - ep 2 (emeto)

Pinocchio 4, 12, 18

One piece - 566, 567, 568, 569, 570, 597(Law) 598, 599,600,601,602

Jujutsu kaisen - 23 (megumi vomit)

Taishou otome - ep 2

One piece - nebulandia, 3d2y

True beauty - 5 (panic attack)

Casualty - series31 ep 34 (vomit)

Love and leashes - slight gag

Attack on titan - season 1 ep 3 (eren gags)

Tokyo ghoul movie - emeto

Hamatora (emeto)

Boruto - 234- 236 (emeto)

Anatomy of a scandal - 3 (emeto)

Slam dunk - 8,9,10,11,15,16(whump),23,24💜,25,28,29,30,33,38,39,40,42,43,44😭,45,46,48,49(whump),51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58(w),59😭,60,61,62,63,65,66,67,70,71(w),72(w)73,74,75,76,77,79,81,82,84😭

My strange friend (c-drama) - ep 14 (emeto)

Miss Hammurabi (K-drama) - ep 12 (emeto)

Lucky Romance (k-drama) - ep 9 (emeto/panick attack)

Goodbye Mr. Black (kdrama) - 18 (emeto)

Your honor - 19+20 (emeto)

Outlander - season 3 ep 9 (emeto)

2gether the series - 13 (emeto)

Kimi no tonari de yurarete (emeto?)

Stranger things - s1e4 - Jonathan gags

Kinnporsche - 2, 4 (emeto)

Time (drama) - 4 and 6 (emeto)

- my strange friend (c drama -youtube) - ep 16 (emeto)

- stranger things - s1ep8 (not really emeto but the scene gave me whumperflies)

- Kinnporsche - 02,04 (emeto)

- Banana Fish - 5 (nausea - I know but like, the scene gave me whumperflies)

- Chainsaw Man - 1 (blood), 6 (blood)

- Romantic Killer - 6 (slight panic attack) 11 (emeto)

- Aku No Hana - 8, 11 (emeto)

- Kimetsu no Yaiba - Mugen Train movie and season 2 episode 1

[cherryapplebee]

a list of things I really liked about the bear (on first watch)

1. the show begins and ends with the shot of the train passing by. it isn't shown stopping just moving across the screen as if to drive home the transitional journey that S3 depicted between major plot points that can occur in the show

2. carmy actually apologises to richie and says I love you. i wish there was more of the sincere apology

3. tina and richie sharing their parenting experience with nat

4. nat listening to the "types of children alcoholics have" and having it memorised, wanting not to let what is in her head ruin her baby's experience and just her overall sincere efforts to be a good mother

5. sydney being inducted into the family with richie clearly respecting + relying on her during service, marcus and sydney sharing their experiences of losing their mothers, cicero talking to Sydney and visibly realising how important she is to the bear, Sydney and pete together, Sydney and TINA ofc. i just love Sydney being part of the bear family

6. how introspective and creative markus is and him really finding expression through his desserts

7. carmy + luca meeting at chef terry's

8. carmy + chef terry's conversation

9. all those past flashbacks of carmy genuinely being content and at peace while working and learning in restaurants and around chefs who respected him

10. loved to see more of how carmy communicates through non verbal creative expression forms like his beautiful drawings, his silent improvements in the kitchen, his food ofc

11. the split screen scene where Richie is standing in the dining area shrouded in blue light and carmy inside in the kitchen in warmer light was extremely reminiscent of the argument scene they had from S2 when carmy was stuck in the walk in. except in the S2 scene they were actually facing each other actively fighting but in the S3 parallel they have their backs to each other and their lighting has flipped.

12. luca just luca. nerd luca geeking out about dish ideas and getting nervous in front of his idol chef. nostalgic luca. luca + sydney friendship. luca + carmen friendship. just every second he was on screen.

13. adding more character depth to cicero and how he genuinely cares about carmy + nat

14. sydney getting POACHED angst because I love the DRAMAHH

15. the found family of the bear. i love all my chefs so much. they have my entire heart.

16. STRANGE CURRENCIES STILL PLAYING OVER *CONFLICTED* CARMY AND CLAIRE RELATIONSHIP omg that song gives me so much brainrot it's always SO STRATEGICALLY PLACED.

17. the wholesome party at syd's house after funeral in the last ep

18. MORE OF SYD AND HER DAD

19. pete is so cute fr

20. Richie just being such a great dad

21. episode one man. i just really like how it was paced.

22. in true invisible string ass fashion carmy serving his modified blood orange dish to Sydney OBVIOUSLY

23. the chef's at Terry's funeral dinner just talking about how much they love their jobs and their passion for food.

I know I'll notice more things about this season that I'll like and obviously there are things i disliked. but rn I am not focusing on the latter that much. the time will come for it. I've just been waiting for this season for so long. and i really do appreciate it for whatever it was. i love the bear and the people in this show and i love that the show truly is becoming more and more about the BEAR as a WHOLE rather than just carmy. I hope it keeps getting richer and richer.

eagerly awaiting what's next :)

[gizkasparadise]

2023 wrapped: cdrama edition!

taking a page from @dangermousie and doing an overview of all the cdramas i watched this year (i'll do one for kdramas later)! listed in order of least favorite to most favorite. favorite =/= objectively best/most well-made. just the ones i had the most fun watching.

15 have a crush on you. oh dear lord. this drama should be a case study for what happens when a bad drama has charismatic actors and they keep you trapped hostage. i watched this whole damn thing hating every minute of it on behalf of the poor female lead who definitely deserved better. the ending? absolutely batshit, and not in a fun way. one of the weirdest, worst endings ive seen since with you

14 back from the brink. too kitschy for me, i didn't last long on this one (i think 2 eps lol).

13 gone with the rain. i wanted to like this one because i love sean sun and troll general is exactly what i want out of life. but i didn't like the weird daydream asides, constant animal noise sound effects, and i found everyone kind of off-putting in a non-watchable way, so i peaced out really quick--ep 4ish

12 here we meet again. i love janice wu. i continue to try out her dramas hoping for something to grab me again. this one was pretty boring/too focused on the work element and not the rest of it.

11 exclusive fairytale. i have a secret weakness for youth-to-working-life dramas, so tried this one out. flat, not a lot of chemistry, and very color-by-numbers. the show was clearly made to vehicle jun, and that's okay, but not my thing

10 the starry love. i wanted to like this one because the side characters were fun and i loved the male lead/prince of heaven and all his awkward "please leave by 9" energy. but it bored me overall and unlike most folks i had no interest in the demon secondary ship. i dropped around ep 10

9 my journey to you. it kills me to rank this one so low because it was my most anticipated cdrama this year, but i just couldn't get into it. the pacing was too slow for me, and i couldn't stand how everyone talked to each other (long. pauses. and then. staring. and then. whispers. always the. whispers). i dropped this around midway

8 the love you give me. the chemistry between the leads was cute and it was a decent modern romance. started losing me around the midpoint when the paternity reveal hit and the ML got way into boundary crossing because of it

7 circle of love. objectively not a good drama. in fact, a toxic and batshit drama that has probably made me a worse person for watching it. but gd did my messy ass enjoy the trainwreck.

6 road home. you really got to be in the mood for this one, but it's a nice, understated and slow melo romance. but def not a bingeable show since it takes its time with everything

5 wonderland of love. another drama that i dont think is objectively great, but two competent schemers/martial artists trying to one-up each other is like ship catnip for me and this was a show that lived or died by its ship. surprisingly tame for the screenwriter, and had a happy ending! popcorn watch.

4 till the end of the moon. me and this drama were in a bad romance, which i suppose is thematically appropriate. i hated parts of it, i was super invested in others. the post-dream human arc was giving wuthering heights tragic obsession incredibleness. even with its flaws, i think most of cdramaland is in agreement that lyx/tantai jin stole the ML competition this year. great gowns, beautiful gowns

3 story of kunning palace. i adored the characters in this drama! even when the plot was losing my interest, everyone was cast so well and had so much charisma that i stayed pretty hooked from ep 10ish on. absolutely loved the mean high school theatre director wreck that was xie wei, as well as the other (imo) true love interest of the show, princess leyang. the desperate speech about being like iron is gonna live rent-free in my head

& then 1&2 are way ahead of the others for me this year/a very close race between them!

2 a journey to love. i love this drama so much!!! i have not skipped or speed watched a single scene which for me is a huge feat! great character work across the board -- even the side characters have a lot of nuance and interesting dynamics between them. beautiful fight scenes. great ost. one of the best, most balanced main couples ive seen in a show. it's gonna break my heart in a few eps when it ends, but i'll be happy about it

1 lost you forever (s1). this drama came out of NOWHERE and the vicegrip it had on me while it was airing!!! my favorite FL this year (although a journey to love's ruyi is a close second), and just a ton of fun while also being quietly devastating in parts. i loved how lived in and tired the FL felt, enjoyed the various flavors of mess from her love interests, and enjoyed how extra it could go while still giving us really grounded and complicated characters. this drama gets extra points for converting me on several actors i did not think that highly of before the show.

overall, despite how many i dropped (lol writing it out made me realize i dropped so, so many), cdramas delivered for me this year! my top two are on my short list for favorite dramas, period. everyone go watch a journey to love and lost you forever if you havent yet!!!

AWARDS

Favorite ship: definitely goes to ruyi and yuanzhou from a journey to love. it's just nice to see a couple that mutually supports each other's murders

Favorite FL: xiaoyao from lost you forever with ruyi from journey to love as a very close runner-up. i am here for this year's theme of competent, jaded ladies trying to reclaim their lives

Favorite ML: objectively, tantai jin from till the end of the moon should win this, but story of kunning palace's xie wei was just so entertainingly grumpy, petty, and unhinged which is a winning combo for me.

Favorite 2FL: princess yang ying from a journey to love. she's doing amazing and im proud of her!!

Favorite 2ML: technically third male lead, but xiang liu from lost you forever was my favorite to watch and had the best tuxedo mask exits

Best Cast: a journey to love, i literally adore all of them, even the ones i hate

Best Blood Cough: tantai jin, you beautiful bastard who needs a bib

[blackmoonlightexpress]

A Guide on Ashes of Love (for TTEOTM fans)

For TTEOTM fans debating whether to watch Ashes of Love (or struggling with how long it is), I highly recommend that you CHECK IT OUT and STICK WITH IT!

Why? A lot of people think that it's Luo Yunxi at his best looks-wise. It's the role that made him a household name and really defined the ethereal white-robed male god in Chinese pop culture. Runyu has much more screentime than is typical for a second male lead. And while it has a lot of filler, it also has some of the best scenes, lines, music, cinematography, and fight choreography among xianxias.

Now, there are problems with the drama... especially in retrospect, the two biggest are: (1) It's infamous for stretching 36 episodes into 63 because mo' episodes, mo' money. On the bright side, this gave the drama a bigger budget to play with, hence grander sets, better CGI, nicer costumes. (2) The naive female lead and love trumps all plot now feel dated and perhaps even problematic. However, Yang Zi is a compelling actress and there's enough politics to keep mature viewers around.

So here's a guide to the 63 episodes, for those who want the "lay of the land". You can decide for yourself what to watch or skip. Naturally it's hard to avoid spoilers, but I've kept them mild.

Episodes 1-5: Jinmi travels to the heavenly realm (Bloat Score: 3/5)

This is mainly Jinmi meeting different characters and having fun in the heavenly realm. You can speed watch as it's light on plot. Runyu only appears for 1-2 scenes per episode, but his fight scenes are beautiful (EP1-35m, EP3-27m, EP5-37m)!

Episodes 6-8: The four leads travel to the Demon Realm (Bloat Score: 2/5) 

This part is pretty action-packed. Jinmi surprises everyone with her powers. Blossoming romance between the leads. Runyu has a more consistent presence. Would watch at normal speed.

Episodes 9-17: The two brothers compete for Jinmi while uncovering her true identity (Bloat Score: 1/5) 

The plot really picks up here as you start to get hooked on solving the mystery of Jinmi's identity and affairs of the past generation. I particularly liked the mini climaxes in Ep 12 and 15.

Episodes 18-34: Jinmi & Xufeng undergoes human trial + Runyu's backstory (Bloat Score: 4/5) 

This is the plot within the plot that was not in the source novel and has no reason to exist other than to increase runtime and give viewers more romance between the leads. If you didn't like the dream arc in TTEOTM, this will be even worse. Lucky for us they've also fleshed out Runyu's backstory and perspective in Ep 29-32, where viewers started rooting for Runyu instead.

Episode 35-45: Jinmi decides who to marry as the brothers head to epic showdown (Bloat Score: 2/5) 

The drama takes a more serious tone here, with more angst, tragedy, and power play. Runyu sheds his innocence and fights for his own corner. You also get to see him confess his love to Jinmi in one of my favorite scenes in Ep 37.

Episode 46-59: The aftermath aka a big stew of tears, blood-spitting, regret, hurt (Bloat Score: 4/5) 

Frankly I found this part painful to watch and repetitive. I can't recall what happens other than it builds up to another epic fight between the brothers Helen of Troy style. Runyu is at his darkest and there are a few TTJ-like obsessive love scenes between him and Jinmi (EP50-19m, EP56-28m, EP57-15m, EP58-25m)

Episodes 60-63 The Ending (Bloat Score: 2/5) 

A pretty satisfying ending. The big battle itself takes place in Ep 61, so there are 2 full episodes to resolve things between the characters and give them a proper ending. Runyu's final scene is done very well and always gives me the goosebumps (EP63-39m)

Also, there are lots of scenes of the third couple (demon princess and her bodyguard) spliced throughout. If it doesn't do anything for you, just skip - it has no impact to the main plot.

Have fun watching!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Bit Slow Round These Parts

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Dec 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Mhok is about the most indulgent boyfriend on the planet. Why they dressed as 1930s gangsters for the wedding? I have no idea idea, but it’s adorable. IFYLITA mark 2? And they’re even dancing together using bits of the same steps that were used that show too. Cute nod.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 6 of 10 - Everything but the kitchen sink includes lesbians apparently. Excellent. Carry on. Also a lot of filler about the sides. (Boring, stop that.) I wish the doctor were a little bit more of a multifaceted character (and less evil snakey), and that we had some of his backstory + Tharn. If we saw them as kids, having a longer true friendship, it would make Tharn’s attitude a little bit more sympathetic and forgiving.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - I like this show, but it’s awfully one-sided in the romance arena. I mean shouldn’t they be trying to support and make each other happy? Why does it always have to come from Him? Also, I’m constantly worried about the fact that Nail doesn’t eat any vegetables. His digestive track must be in serious distress. And if the boy is a bottom?! Look I have concerns is all I'm saying, I hope he's getting his fiber along with the dk. Meanwhile... Mom confrontation! Always fun.  

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 9 of 10 - Now I’m having a hard time keeping the twins straight. Who’s getting beat up for whom, what’s going on? No matter who, First caught himself a live one. I like those bits.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 7 of 14 - I got little crumbs of my sides but not enough, and then they dropped the mpreg bomb. Kinda like blowing the BL diaper. Trash watch happening here.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 5 of 12 - They are so cute. And mostly such good communicators. Except evil dad is evil! I didn’t have OffGun tango on my bingo card, but I'm happy to check it off. After making everyone sing, GMMTV is now making everyone dance. I much prefer it. Kiss came a bit out of nowhere. But it was sweet. 

A few minutes later...

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 6fin - I don’t know, I feel like this just wasn’t good enough for the class of talent involved. Which means it’s mostly the story and script's fault. In the end I kinda just wanted Guy to get the guy.

In cluclusion:

A lack-luster story about a group of bakers coping with (mostly) a shoddy script that could not be saved by either the beauty nor the talent of the actors involved. It suffered for lack of narrative backbone and so did I. 6/10

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 8fin - Mai is an adorable clingy boyfriend, and that bit was kind of cute.

Summation:

Office clown, Jade, a manic pixie dream dork, is courted by the new intern, Mai. This show is right in my wheelhouse but it fell flat for me. I wish it had lived up to the concept behind the title (if nothing else). If we had done more of Jade‘s family and the reasons behind his self-worth struggles and self-acceptance issues, they might have been easier to bare. Without backstory, the show had no through line. In the end, Jade was a largely intolerable character, and Mai felt flat and lacking in personality. I was disappointed with this show, and I hope they don't blame the pair for the poor ratings. 6/10

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) 1626 ep 19 of 24 - Meh. So dull. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I’m not really interested in the late addition love triangle concept.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 4 of 8 - a bit too frenetic and manic for me, this one. Glasses boy is best boy. But I’m kind of confused as to was actually going on with this show. Including whether I like it or not.

I Became the Main Role of a BL (Japan Sun Gaga) ep 1-3 - AKA BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen - it should finish airing at the very beginning of the year, so I decided to wait and watch all 3 back-to-back. 

It's Airing But...

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

Night Dream (Sat YT) 6 eps - It’s a pain to track down and I really didn’t like the first episode so… DNF  

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). I don't think even the perfect single dimple can motivate me to watch. Word is... it's terrible.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes. I'm waiting to binge if safe.

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) - horror, meh, tell me if it's worth my time?

It's done and I didn't, or we can't

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Been told I shouldn't bother. So I won't.

Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) - This is a historical I was interested in, but I've been told they kill the gay so I'm OUT.

[INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have a spare day.

Crazy work load right now so no idea when that will be. (End of year is a bear for me.)

Honestly I'm gonna have an epic number of dnf's this year for me.

Next Week Looks Like This

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

Also my best ofs are coming.

Don't think I'll do a stats round up this year, everything progressing as before.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

(Last week) - sorry, forgot to link it.

It's 2024 people! Round ups are coming!!!! Leave a comment or an ask, if you have something specific you want addressed.

[isthisclever]

Plaintext version of 39 Days thread

Post-episode Reddit threat on r/Survivor

blowmytorch23143: dude claire skaaaaaaated by that tribal. my heart was pounding omg

/ chrissydontwakeup: Well no way was Jeff gonna let her walk. C+J is  *the* drama this season. They’re not gonna wanna lose that. 

/ / blowmytorch23143: yeah ive beeen convinced for ages that the idols are prolly fixed to keep the faves around. some of these people its like, oh honey you did NOT find that on your own lol

/ / / ReadySurvivorOne [Top Fan]: If not purposefully, then accidentally for sure. Wentworth did a whole video after her second season about paying attention to the cameras to find hidden idols bc they always pan to the hiding spots for the ep. WILD.

damp_dreams69999: Glad they didn’t vote out claire. WHo cares if she’s a hoe shes hot

/ chipper_pippa: Misogynistic much? Do better. 

/ / damp_dreams69999: is it sxist if its true

/ GoldN_Ours: um hello did we even watch the same epp? it showed that she CLEARLY was telling the truth. old dude was creepy af

/ / damp_dreams69999: lmfao chill out its not that serious

/ / / GoldN_Ours: Claire’s convo with the bf was basically proof that she has been telling teh truth. He was dismissive and condescending, and he was WAYYY to excited that gillian and her sister were drooling all over him. mega douche and honestly, perv vibes all the way.

user1930188401: WOWOWOWOWOWWWWWW. Hate to see Phaedre leave but I’m super glad Claire survived tribal. She clearly needed to chat with her alliance tho. She wasted an idol when they had the votes already.

/ hrd2bsft: Yeahhhh that’s gonna cost her with the jury. Guess the important thing is she made it through to day 33. 

Silvvver_ lyon [Top Fan]: am I the only one who was super uncomfortable with that pre-vote convo? like…why did they have to drag her over the coals like that? 

/ user1012912318: for the views dawg

/ / Silvvver_lyon: kinda gross still idk. survivor has a misogyny problem anyway and this reeeeeally didn’t help 

yesimawitch: These suckers dont watch out, Jillian’s gonna win this game. 

/ Outplayaaaa: Right?!?! She is ALWAYS on the right side of the numbers. How???

/ whatsmyrageagain: Wonder if she knew Claire had found the idol. She was like *right there* when Claire snagged it at the challenge. That would make sense why she worked w Jamie and joe to protect her. 

/ / Outplayaaaa: I want her to win for the snark alone. 12/10 comedy.

/ / / yesimawitch: Gillian to Claire: “Fantasies aside, I don’t think the game would be a pleasant one with your two men at my back.” I C O N I C. 

justhereforthekarma12313: Am I the only one who hates J & C not talking?? God I know its all tv and its probably fake anyway but the way that man looks at her…

/ Heiiiidiiiii_isonreddit [Top Fan]: I want it to be real so bad. If they come back after the show and it was all an act imma riot

/ / user12334481: I’ll bring the pitchforks, you bring the torches

/ / / Tooney___lunes: I’ll bring snacks. all good riots needs snacks.

/ Levi_not_the_jeans: The way *he* looks at *her*??? If I had a woman who looked at me the way Claire does to Jamey…well…I’d still be gay af but I’d feel very good about myself ok?

angels__wear_red: *sigh* these two idiots make me believe in love. please for the loVE OF ALL THAT IS BEAUTIFUL AND JOYFUL DON’T CRUSH MY DREAMS!!!1

Read the newest update to 39 Days here.

[lurkingshan]

with such limited options/possibilities for the finale episode of i feel you linger in the air (jom's impending disappearance and khun yai bawling in the garden hugging the air), do you have any specific things/scenes/expectations you hope to see in ep 12?

Not Yai bawling in the garden hugging the air! Oh that’s just too sad to contemplate.

I think there are a few options before us for the ending. Episode 11 closed the main emotional arc of the series: Jom found a purpose, and a true love, and a community, and most importantly, the desire to keep on living. Even if he can’t be with Yai anymore, I believe he will be okay and the experience he’s had in the past will bolster him and give him confidence to rebuild his life back in the future.

As for the romance, well. As I mentioned way back before this show began, with time travel narratives sad and ambiguous endings are always on the table. We’ve been given no reason to believe that the Yai he knows in this time and place would have any way to follow him to the future, we know Jom does not have control over his ability to move through time, and we have been told that he will disappear by the will of whatever magic brought him here in the first place when the time is right. So I really doubt these two will be able to be together. We also know there are several doppelgängers in play and that at least some of the characters in the past have one in the present (Yai seems to have had one in an even more distant past). We still don’t know if these are past live incarnations of the future folks and if this is tied to reincarnation, but that seems likely to me. And there is no indication that the doppelgängers have conscious awareness of their other iterations.

I foresee one of three endings:

Jom will return to the future and eventually meet a doppelgänger of Yai. It will not be the same Yai, but perhaps a person who shares his soul, so it’s about as happy an ending as you can get with this set up. This feels most likely to me.

Jom will return to the future and there is no Yai doppelgänger waiting for him there; the lovers are separated indefinitely. We see Jom looking at his sketches and historical documents to find a trace of Yai, and everybody cries. This feels a bit less likely but still possible.

A secret third thing that will blow my mind.

Regardless of the romance ending, I just hope the finale is able to stay true to the beauty of episode 11, which was such a poignant close to Jom’s time in the past. And I hope we leave all the past characters in a good place, with Yai going to Europe as planned, Eung Phueng getting the safe abortion and life away with Maey she deserves, Fong Kaew finding peace, and Ming, Prik, James and the rest all as okay as they can be given the time and place they live. And I would love to see the new life Jom builds for himself in the future and be reassured that he is happy there.

[oswlld]

oswlld's monthly wrap up: april

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

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This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone [started 04/04, finished 04/09] *drags my hands down my face until the end of time* I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I WANT TO MEET YOU!!!! IN EVERY PLACE I EVER LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4.75⭐️ in storygraph. — Hamnet, Maggie O’Farrell [started 04/12, in prog] I am about 100 pages in and still not sure if I want to keep going or DNF it. idk what isn’t sticking because the writing is beautiful and the pacing is great. And I do care about the characters, I really do. I love the way the author borrows from future grief, it’s what I am enjoying most about this read so far. Maybe I’ll give it 50 more pages and see if it finally sticks.

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, ongoing] As mentioned, I am caught up on eps 3-8. I’ll likely not be able to watch it live in may but I will be keeping up with the series til the end. It’s so lighthearted and charming! Not sure how they managed this, but I am constantly surprised by the character group dynamics. It’s def due to the great chemistry everyone has with literally everyone. I need NEED to discuss the score of this show because it’s IMMACULATE. The celestial themes, from the props all the way down to the music, is so rich. I’m so excited to see how this story unravels. — Devil’s Plan [started: 04/23, ongoing] This is a bestie pick, a show my best friend chose to have us watch on our facetime calls. We are 1.5 eps in and it’s a grower. The first game is hella complex and we’re slowly picking up on what’s happening. The people on this show are incredibly intelligent, so I feel like I have to work extra hard to keep up. It does feel rewarding, I’m hooked.

Oppenheimer, Peacock [watched on 04/05] I am a self-proclaimed Nolan girlie, I’ll admit it. I do enjoy his work and the many ways he translates time into film. When I wrote this, it had been a few days since I watched it and I still think abt the little moments that blew me away. Moments like the accentuated dust particles, how the coloring of the movie can be an unreliable narrator, and the utilization of a crowded hall stomping their feet to create tension. The last eight minutes still haunts me. I find more value in the technical side of film, but I will give credit when credit is due: every award Cillian Murphy got this season was so well earned. He carried all three hours of that film with such powerful quietude. And lastly, my heart now belongs to Jennifer Lame. Upon seeing her accept the award for Best Film Editing for Oppenheimer, I have come to learn that she also edited Tenet. HER MIND!!! She has such a bright future ahead of her, to be up there with the minds of Thelma Schoonmaker and Anne V Coates. — Yellow Door: ’90s Lo-Fi Film Club [watched on 04/14] This film needs to be studied in film school. It’s incredibly meta in some ways, having renown directors be the subjects, talking about their passion for film. The production being so stylized and the editing feels very reminiscent of Our Beloved Summer, with the way the found footage and the aspect ratios are intertwined with current day quality shots. This film will hit everyone right in the millennial. A true surprise for me is discovering that Bong Joon Ho and I are more alike that I had originally thought. The way he speaks in casual conversation and his story of setting strict rules for their film collection had me hollering because SAME. The most jessi thing he recounted was how all the VHS tapes were labelled. Yellow Door is somehow the opposite of the "doesn’t take itself too seriously" mentality; it’s actually so great that they made the film like that. By fully immersing us with gorgeous cinematography, cheeky editing sequences, and lush music to tug at your heartstrings, it bewitches you into loving film as much as they did. And still do.

Cowboy Carter, Beyoncé [relisten] I’ve given this several good cycles to confirm my first impressions: it’s def one of her most cohesive albums to date and still stands as a spectacular album. This passion project of hers takes such great care and attention to the voices she amplifies. I can feel the hunger, the innate need for her to make this album. If you haven’t heard how this album came to be, I insist you take the time to educate yourselves. It makes the listening experience so much more empowering. Good for her… GOOD. FOR. HER!! Current favs: Ameriican Requiem, 16 Carriages, Bodyguard, Jolene, Spaghettii, Ya Ya, Desert Eagle, II Hands II Heaven, and Sweet/Honey/Buckin’. — Older, Lizzy McAlpine [first time listening] Coming off the heels of my Five Seconds Flat hyperfixation last year, I haphazardly went into Older hoping its a natural progression in production value. I was shocked that it turned out to be a completely different sound. I soon learned that she actually didn’t really like how Five Seconds Flat was produced because it didn’t feel true to her as an artist. Tbh I was feeling a little lost after the first listen but after digesting this new info, I went back into it and appreciated it a lot more. In fact, the third listen was when I realized that it gave off the same energy as Laufey. I’m excited to listen to it again soon. — Stick Season: Forever, Noah Kahan [first time listening] Having stumbled on all the collabs on Alexa earlier this year, Forever was the only new song for me from his latest release. I’m OBSESSED with this song!!!! The way his voice carries the entire weight of every hurt inside me and just takes it away. Something healed in me. I play it in the car every time I leave the house. I cry in the car every time I leave the house. — The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift [first time listening, standard vinyl ed.] I am going to get this out of the way and say that this album is great. Just great. I understand more than ever why she felt the need to make this album. Having only listened to the standard version a couple times and the anthology twice through, I sit here in this kind of… discomfort. And I’m kind of okay with that feeling. But… it pains me that I can’t share this album with some people in my life and it’s largely due to how she depicts her struggles with people with mental illness/addiction. It’s one, if not the biggest, strike I have against this album and by extension, her. Songs cycling in my head: Down Bad, So Long London, Guilty as Sin?, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?, loml, imgonnagetyouback, Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus, How Did It End?, I Look in People’s Windows, The Prophecy, Peter, and The Manuscript.

EXPO Chicago [attended 04/13] Yes, I am doxxing myself a bit if you didn’t already know. During college, I used to attend EXPO yearly and occasionally went back long after I finished school. I haven’t attended in a long time, so I made it my goal to attend this year. And I had a blast! My mother tagged along and she’s not one to attend shows like this or art museums in general. It was a beautiful day trip to the city and it was nice to have her company. She mostly trailed behind and took pics of me as I floated around the exhibition hall. I have 50+ artists I tracked on my phone to actively research in my spare time. I sat in on one of the panel talks (ON COLOR), discussing color theory in today’s bipoc landscape. I took so much away from that conversation, it was very charged. I'm kinda obsessed with Alteronce Gumby, I need to do an artist deepdive on his work. — Coachella [watched from 04/12 to 04/14] I work for a big tech company and one of the biggest events to be on standby for is Coachella. I had to be on call for Friday and was backup support for Sunday lineups. Thus, Saturday was the only day I could sit back and relax while watching. My first time lineups included: Hatsune Miku, Peso Pluma, Late Night Drive Home, Jon Batiste, Ateez, le Sserafim, Purple Disco Machine, Bleachers, No Doubt, 88rising Futures, and Latin Mafia. Of all of the performances, I want to take a full deep dive into Ateez and Peso Pluma’s discography in the near future.