#this level of vulnerability and info dumping is not for everyone

[oswlld]

oswlld's monthly wrap up: april

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

--

This Is How You Lose the Time War, Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone [started 04/04, finished 04/09] *drags my hands down my face until the end of time* I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I want to meet you in every place I ever loved. I WANT TO MEET YOU!!!! IN EVERY PLACE I EVER LOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4.75⭐️ in storygraph. — Hamnet, Maggie O’Farrell [started 04/12, in prog] I am about 100 pages in and still not sure if I want to keep going or DNF it. idk what isn’t sticking because the writing is beautiful and the pacing is great. And I do care about the characters, I really do. I love the way the author borrows from future grief, it’s what I am enjoying most about this read so far. Maybe I’ll give it 50 more pages and see if it finally sticks.

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, ongoing] As mentioned, I am caught up on eps 3-8. I’ll likely not be able to watch it live in may but I will be keeping up with the series til the end. It’s so lighthearted and charming! Not sure how they managed this, but I am constantly surprised by the character group dynamics. It’s def due to the great chemistry everyone has with literally everyone. I need NEED to discuss the score of this show because it’s IMMACULATE. The celestial themes, from the props all the way down to the music, is so rich. I’m so excited to see how this story unravels. — Devil’s Plan [started: 04/23, ongoing] This is a bestie pick, a show my best friend chose to have us watch on our facetime calls. We are 1.5 eps in and it’s a grower. The first game is hella complex and we’re slowly picking up on what’s happening. The people on this show are incredibly intelligent, so I feel like I have to work extra hard to keep up. It does feel rewarding, I’m hooked.

Oppenheimer, Peacock [watched on 04/05] I am a self-proclaimed Nolan girlie, I’ll admit it. I do enjoy his work and the many ways he translates time into film. When I wrote this, it had been a few days since I watched it and I still think abt the little moments that blew me away. Moments like the accentuated dust particles, how the coloring of the movie can be an unreliable narrator, and the utilization of a crowded hall stomping their feet to create tension. The last eight minutes still haunts me. I find more value in the technical side of film, but I will give credit when credit is due: every award Cillian Murphy got this season was so well earned. He carried all three hours of that film with such powerful quietude. And lastly, my heart now belongs to Jennifer Lame. Upon seeing her accept the award for Best Film Editing for Oppenheimer, I have come to learn that she also edited Tenet. HER MIND!!! She has such a bright future ahead of her, to be up there with the minds of Thelma Schoonmaker and Anne V Coates. — Yellow Door: ’90s Lo-Fi Film Club [watched on 04/14] This film needs to be studied in film school. It’s incredibly meta in some ways, having renown directors be the subjects, talking about their passion for film. The production being so stylized and the editing feels very reminiscent of Our Beloved Summer, with the way the found footage and the aspect ratios are intertwined with current day quality shots. This film will hit everyone right in the millennial. A true surprise for me is discovering that Bong Joon Ho and I are more alike that I had originally thought. The way he speaks in casual conversation and his story of setting strict rules for their film collection had me hollering because SAME. The most jessi thing he recounted was how all the VHS tapes were labelled. Yellow Door is somehow the opposite of the "doesn’t take itself too seriously" mentality; it’s actually so great that they made the film like that. By fully immersing us with gorgeous cinematography, cheeky editing sequences, and lush music to tug at your heartstrings, it bewitches you into loving film as much as they did. And still do.

Cowboy Carter, Beyoncé [relisten] I’ve given this several good cycles to confirm my first impressions: it’s def one of her most cohesive albums to date and still stands as a spectacular album. This passion project of hers takes such great care and attention to the voices she amplifies. I can feel the hunger, the innate need for her to make this album. If you haven’t heard how this album came to be, I insist you take the time to educate yourselves. It makes the listening experience so much more empowering. Good for her… GOOD. FOR. HER!! Current favs: Ameriican Requiem, 16 Carriages, Bodyguard, Jolene, Spaghettii, Ya Ya, Desert Eagle, II Hands II Heaven, and Sweet/Honey/Buckin’. — Older, Lizzy McAlpine [first time listening] Coming off the heels of my Five Seconds Flat hyperfixation last year, I haphazardly went into Older hoping its a natural progression in production value. I was shocked that it turned out to be a completely different sound. I soon learned that she actually didn’t really like how Five Seconds Flat was produced because it didn’t feel true to her as an artist. Tbh I was feeling a little lost after the first listen but after digesting this new info, I went back into it and appreciated it a lot more. In fact, the third listen was when I realized that it gave off the same energy as Laufey. I’m excited to listen to it again soon. — Stick Season: Forever, Noah Kahan [first time listening] Having stumbled on all the collabs on Alexa earlier this year, Forever was the only new song for me from his latest release. I’m OBSESSED with this song!!!! The way his voice carries the entire weight of every hurt inside me and just takes it away. Something healed in me. I play it in the car every time I leave the house. I cry in the car every time I leave the house. — The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift [first time listening, standard vinyl ed.] I am going to get this out of the way and say that this album is great. Just great. I understand more than ever why she felt the need to make this album. Having only listened to the standard version a couple times and the anthology twice through, I sit here in this kind of… discomfort. And I’m kind of okay with that feeling. But… it pains me that I can’t share this album with some people in my life and it’s largely due to how she depicts her struggles with people with mental illness/addiction. It’s one, if not the biggest, strike I have against this album and by extension, her. Songs cycling in my head: Down Bad, So Long London, Guilty as Sin?, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?, loml, imgonnagetyouback, Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus, How Did It End?, I Look in People’s Windows, The Prophecy, Peter, and The Manuscript.

EXPO Chicago [attended 04/13] Yes, I am doxxing myself a bit if you didn’t already know. During college, I used to attend EXPO yearly and occasionally went back long after I finished school. I haven’t attended in a long time, so I made it my goal to attend this year. And I had a blast! My mother tagged along and she’s not one to attend shows like this or art museums in general. It was a beautiful day trip to the city and it was nice to have her company. She mostly trailed behind and took pics of me as I floated around the exhibition hall. I have 50+ artists I tracked on my phone to actively research in my spare time. I sat in on one of the panel talks (ON COLOR), discussing color theory in today’s bipoc landscape. I took so much away from that conversation, it was very charged. I'm kinda obsessed with Alteronce Gumby, I need to do an artist deepdive on his work. — Coachella [watched from 04/12 to 04/14] I work for a big tech company and one of the biggest events to be on standby for is Coachella. I had to be on call for Friday and was backup support for Sunday lineups. Thus, Saturday was the only day I could sit back and relax while watching. My first time lineups included: Hatsune Miku, Peso Pluma, Late Night Drive Home, Jon Batiste, Ateez, le Sserafim, Purple Disco Machine, Bleachers, No Doubt, 88rising Futures, and Latin Mafia. Of all of the performances, I want to take a full deep dive into Ateez and Peso Pluma’s discography in the near future.

[nrdmssgs]

Price confessing to you too soon

Masterlist Hurt/comfort Pairing: PriceXReader Summary: Sometimes it's just a right person, wrong time.

Your now ex was turfed down the stairs, your belongings were already in Prices car trunk - the worse was left behind. Yet you can't stop tears rolling down your cheeks.

He is tapping the steering wheel nervously, but keeps quiet, hoping, that you just need some space and time to calm down.

Sadly, it isn't that easy. As much as you try to control your mood - you are obviously worn out by the last days around your ex, all your fights, those ugly words, he threw you in the face. So tears keep rolling as you quietly sob, looking away from John, who couldn't take it anymore and helped you finally escape the place and person, that brought you so much pain lately.

But he isn't ok with you hiding from him. That's why Price pulls to the side at the next gas station, leaves you for a few minutes in the car, and then returns with a bottle of water and your favorite chocolates.

"Can't believe, you still remember, I like those." You brush away your tears and try to smile at him, as your old friend opens your door and hands you a treat.

This act of care should have cheered you up, but you suddenly remember your ex screaming, “You're just waiting for everyone to serve you!” And tears treacherously well up in your eyes again.

You are about to turn away once more, but he kneels to meet your eye level and catches your face. His hold is so careful and tender, It's hard to believe, these same hands threw your ex down the stairs as if he was just a toy.

"You remember, you told me about this thing, 'Raison d'être' a long time ago?" He cups your cheeks and leans closer, so that he can talk quietly and still remain heard despite traffic sounds and music coming from the store.

You nod. Of course, you remember. John is one of the very few people, who you could call in the middle of the night just to info dump him with this concept of "reason for being", you've just read about. It was so simple, yet elegant, you just had to share it with somebody. And Price was always there to hear whatever you had to tell him.

"Good." He looks you deep in the eyes for some time and then continues speaking. "I thought about it. A lot. And I think, you being safe, feeling safe is my 'Raison d'être'. I will do anything I can for you to feel safe around me. I will guard you, will fight for you. And I swear, you can be vulnerable around me. Be tired, angry, cry, shout at me, curl up in my arms if you want - I will never hurt you."

And that's when something inside you cracks and breaks apart. Not only John helped you escape, not only was he immediately ready to give you shelter in his home - he was ready to stay by your side, while you were at your lowest. You stop holding back and cry ugly.

"Let it out. Let it all out. You suffered so much. I was an idiot for figuring things out for so long. Should have stood up for the one, I care about so much, sooner. Cry, love, you're safe to do so now." He whispers, embracing you caringly and shielding you from prying eyes.

There are many things yet to come. Eventually you will calm down, tears will dry out. There will be quiet evenings, watching Netflix together, or cooking something, or just sitting on a coach beside him, talking about everything and nothing simultaneously. You will fall asleep, and he will bring you to your room.

John will never mention, what he said that day on the gas station. There will be no need, because one day the realization will come to you. 'Raison d'être', 'the one, I care about so much'... these are not exactly the words, one would use on just a friend.

You will still be healing, pick yourself up piece by piece, when a simple idea will appear: John Price loves you, have already for quite some time.

You will half lay on a couch under the blanket, he picked specially for you to never get cold, when he's not around, you will watch this man doing his magic in the kitchen. You will be full of gratitude for him not demanding anything of you, not making a move, not even trying to take any advantage of a current situation, you two are in. You will enjoy the feeling of security, Johns 'Raison d'être', all while new love will slowly but surely blossom in your heart.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

[weebsinstash]

As someone who reads a lot but has no experience writing myself I didn't notice any drop in quality. It seemed to be the same level to me and I particularly enjoy your characterization of mic and aizawa as well as the added depth from the scene between mic and the repair guy. However if I HAD to give a criticism the part about the guy from when reader was young felt a little too long, the same could kinda be said for the exposition about the mom but that felt important enough to the readers persona that it was necessary. These aren't really that bad but its just a personal opinion!

I still absolutely loved the chapter though it was a delightful treat that I thoroughly enjoyed reading!

Maybe that was the part that one person didnt like, the exposition stuff? I really wish they had left a little more constructive criticism besides just telling me straight up "this should have stayed in your drafts, youre out of practice and i can tell" because how tf am I supposed to catch my mistakes and improve without good feedback 🥺 everyone has different standards for what they read so feedback from all different kinds of people could really be beneficial...

Anyways!

So while it was kind of an exposition/info dump, the part with the Reader having an inappropriate relationship with a stranger online specifically a male one is actually relevant to several things, which if it hasn't been apparent due to the fact he's never been mentioned, Reader's father was not present in her life, and not because he's dead or anything (it really isnt a massive spoiler to tell you guys he was just a deadbeat and Reader's mom had full custody and he kind of just pissed off and will make a brief unimportant cameo in the next installment of the series which will in fact be the last one, at least so is the plan). As someone with personal experience, you grow up as a young girl without a father and it can give you extremely different perspectives on men, especially when there has been abuse, and it can make you EXTREMELY VULNERABLE to positive male attention. It's to sort of establish a pattern of Reader needing a form of external acceptance and validation and how she has her own trauma and mental health struggles, especially in regards to men.

Like idk child abuse or being sexual with a kid tw but I remember when i used to go on Justin TV as a minor like idk probably 15 or 16, there was a streamer I would watch sometimes, his username was Tekker or something, and he eventually started getting flirty and stuff with me and in hindsight he was definitely uh a creep. I was a minor and he knew that and he'd be livestreaming him playing like resident evil and he'd like make jokes about, God what even was it, giving me anal as a punishment for being a smart-ass with him because you know obviously anal isn't, for everyone lmao and can hurt and like WOW

But even with those massive red flags I really liked the positive attention he gave me, like it legitimately got me flustered when I sent him my picture and he said I was beautiful and he would call me jailbait 💀 like I bought a microphone to chat with this dude and would play games on stream with him 💀💀💀 this is a subject I have personal experience with. It's kind of to establish Reader had Some Issues that leave her vulnerable to being manipulated by men and also making poor choices because she has deep abandonment issues and needing to be accepted and loved. So now, as it stands, she is slowly becoming complacent to her situation, especially when you also tackle that with the realization that if she were to get free she would go right back to a way of living that was legitimately making her miserable and suicidal

Like for real the planned ending I have for this story is probably going to make a decent number of you go Oh Honey Why Would You Do That :C

It's fucked up, but for Reader there are actually many benefits to her captivity and you couple that with her captors being excessively supportive and affectionate with her and you have a kidnapping victim slowly falling in love with her captors and saying "im a stupid idiot and I'll never have anything better and no one will probably love me like they so, and I'm a loser anyways, so I guess I'm just fucked, I probably deserve to die anyways, who cares what happens at this point, im too tired and apathetic to fight anyways"

Of course the fate of Reader's mom, which is kind of glaringly obvious tbh, but the exact details of what I will call The Mountain Incident are to be revealed in probably the next chapter or two? It's kind of just sadness porn but, it's another layer to why Reader kind of just fell apart and dropped out of Hero School and was too unable to handle the stress to work. Because realistically she experienced something extremely traumatic and had no support system while basically pushed into the deep end of being fully self sufficient and she eventually just burned out trying to do everything on her own, and then you have Mic and Eraser to the rescue to forever further skew her feelings of "see I'm helpless and stupid, I can't take care of myself, I should just let them make the decisions for me"

But yeah, thanks for submitting your feedback, it means a lot! General reception has been really nice so far and it's so nice to see how excited everyone is for an update and I'm looking forward to hopefully getting more things out soon! I'm just trying to even think of how many chapters are left? We're on 7 right now, so, hmm... at the current rate... I'd say... maybe 4 or 5? And then after this story is finished, I think the best course of action for the final part is that i write a significant portion of it before I upload anything so then that can combat being stuck in a plot hole and putting things off haha. Anyways thanks again!

[plasma-packin-mama]

(Asking with my main blog, but this is supposed to come from my fallout sideblog @eattheglowingmoss. Tumblr let sideblogs send asks.)

BUT as someone who also has a funky GNC courier who also causes Arcade problems (Ame Ortiz - 10 Luck, 3 intelligence my beloved). I have to know how Delilah met Arcade. Did they meet him the regular way in the Old Mormon fort? Did they know each other when they worked for the Followers before getting shot? Do you imagine they met some other way?

Love their design!

ok 1st of all. please know that i lost my whole entire mind when i read this ask thank you SOOOOO much for asking about delilah!!!! it means so much to me :') i really really appreciate the chance to talk about them. i did some art to make my answer a bit less "wall of text" bc i have a LOT of thoughts about Arcade and Del. Delilah actually first heard about Arcade from a friend at the Boneyard Library before they transferred to the vegas branch, since it seemed like they had a lot in common!

[they changed their name a LOT in their old life. Nobody is sure why. they were going by Sunny when they left boneyard.]

Julie very enthusiastically told arcade this same info when she heard from HQ that their new transfer was a tech enthusiast.

Unfortunately though... Sunny never made it to the mormon fort. Julie and everyone else waited, but after a few months they were forced to assume that she'd died on her way there. So nobody batted an eye when Delilah strolled in, very enthusiastic to learn about what the Followers were all about!!

They dont specifically remember that they were a follower, but they got a real good feeling when they stepped foot in the mormon fort. (they chose not to examine the source of this feeling. theyre just that kind of person.) they periodically popped in and out of the fort for a few weeks, dumping a pile of medical supplies at Julies feet each time and then poking around for awhile, chatting with all the doctors.

They had an especially good feeling about Arcade. They werent sure why, but when they talked to him, something just felt right for the first time in a long time. They KNEW they had to befriend this guy so they immediately put on their best Cool Guy persona to impress him.

this did not work.

they were not deterred though!!! if delilah is anything, theyre stubborn. so they came back later and tried again.

it wasn't easy for them to convince him though. backpedaling and explaining that they only said that stuff because they thought itd impress him required a level of vulnerability they're unaccustomed and unwilling to provide. so it took awhile of popping in and saying hi and being genuinely interested in what he was doing.

id like to tell about the time they finally do recruit arcade in its own comic, so ill leave this off here for now :)

again thank you so so much for asking about delilah!!!!!! this ask made my whole week and really encouraged me to draw this scene id been wanting to draw for a long time. (also, Ame seems so cute!!! ill have to doodle him sometime soon hehe)

[saby-chan]

Why the ATLA comics fail when it comes to Zuko and his family

To whom ever took their time to actually stop and read this post, thank you in advance for not skipping my post and willing to stay and read my humble opinion! I hope I won’t disappoint you!

As a relatively newcomer to the ATLA fanbase since 2020, I’ve come across a lot of interesting debates, comments and rants about the show, characters and fandom in general, but nothing has captivated me as much as the dumpster-on-fire that are the ATLA comics, more specifically: The Promise and The Search. 

On one hand we have the hardcore fans who want them to be animated or serialized into the Netflix live action, praising the comics for the new views and subject matters they’ve brought into the show’s lore, while on the other hand we have the furious Azula fandom who is really angry for the fact that best girl didn’t get the redemption arc she rightfully deserved so much after the painful event that was the Last Agni Kai and the even more angry fans of the Urzai ship (yeah, the people who actually ship Zuko’s parents unironically) who hated the retconning of the show’s cannon since the comics basically took a huge fat dump on what was previously established as official cannon, when the Search entered the scene, but between these two sides, who has the more valid point? In the end, are the comics good cannon or bad written fanfiction?

Well... Here are my two cents on this matter since I myself happen to be an Azula and Zuko fan and had huge expectations from these comics (since I wanted more from my fave hot-headed fiery siblings duo) but ended up disappointed: the comics are indeed a huge mess and actually bad written fanfiction when it comes to Zuko and his family! Don’t click off yet, because I actually documented the reasons why exactly the comics fail in this area:

1. The author of these comics is not part of the BryKe duo

Yes, I would like to start with the fact that if you actually take a second to look up who in the heck took the time to write these two books, you won’t find Bryan, nor Mike, but a fellow man named Gene Yang. This is important because while the wiki of both The Promise and The Search state BryKe as the creators, that doesn’t mean that they were the actual minds behind these comics, but rather because ATLA is their “baby” and these comics involve their characters, over which they have copyright. Mr. Yang here is the actual brain behind the plot, as the main writer, which explains why we find huuuuge inconsistencies between the show lore and the comics, especially Zuko wise.

My main issue with Mr. Yang isn’t that he isn’t BryKe specifically, but because he did an unforgivable mistake in his writing process: He projected himself into Zuko’s character, based on the relationship Zuko had with his father. This is a documented fact from an interview in which he explains that he sees himself and his dad’s relationship into Zuko and Ozai and used that when writing their interactions and built Zuko’s character in the comics. And this is wrong because when you have an already very developed and complex character such as Zuko, you can’t just come in and be like “Oh, I was an angsty teen just like him in my teenage years, fighting with my dad and whatnot, so he must have the same thought process as me!”. NO! This is bad fanfiction writer behavior! Zuko has his own personality and philosophy, which he developed over the course of 3 seasons and is not defined by only 1 unfortunate aspect of his past, so you can’t just base his whole mindset and actions off of your own personal experience just because you had the same daddy issues he had!

2. The whole “Promise that you will kill me if I turn out like my dad!” nonsense in The Promise

Reason number 2 why these comics fail and go under the category of “bad fanfiction” is because they fail to convey the core essence of the source material. The whole point of Zuko’s redemption was that he realized the wrongdoings of his ancestors and his own mistakes. He outgrew his desire of gaining his father’s acknowledgement in favor of choosing his own destiny. Having him worry that he’ll turn into his father is utter nonsense and feels like poor angsty drama material for the sake of angst. At this point in time, Zuko has overcame that obstacle in his life a long time ago and should be at the level where he himself is the “Uncle Iroh” for other people and in no way someone concerned of becoming their own worst enemy!

Not only that, but the whole point of Aang’s journey and the story of the show as a whole was to teach us, the viewers, the importance of forgiveness, empathy and love in life. Aang didn’t spare Ozai, aka “the ultimate evil” just to flex in front of his pals or because he is a “ 12 y/o vegan pacifist monk kid”, but because he knew that killing someone, no matter of what they did or wanted to do, wouldn’t restore balance into the Universe, on the contrary, him killing the villain would have meant perpetuating the “endless cycle of hate” that plagued the world. So having Aang promise to kill his best friend in case “they turned into an evil maniac like their dad” contradicts Aang’s whole character and it’s a nonsense that throws into the trash what we’ve learnt throughout the entire TV series.

3. Azula deserved (and was supposed) to have a redemption ark

This might still be pure speculation, but I count it as a documented reason because I’ve heard quite a few people saying that there should’ve been a book 4 in the show, aka “Book 4: Air”, and no, it wasn’t The Search, but actually Zuko and Azula’s journey as Zuko helps his younger sister heal her broken mind by being her very own “Uncle Iroh”. Sure, they prolly were going to end up looking for Ursa, but the journey should’ve ended with them actually being happy and a family again and not the bs we got in The Search where a still very unstable Azula runs away and becomes the “Next Joker”! The only problem is that M. Night had to pop up and curse the world with his movie, which forced BryKe to delay the project (and eventually abandoned it in favor of Korra).

All in all, either if BryKe had this preplanned or not, it made sense for Azula to get a redemption ark, she deserved it because she was just a broken 14 y/o child! If Katara’s mom’s murderer deserved to be forgiven, so did this poor child who had no fault for what happened to her since she had a dysfunctional family! What Gene Yang did in his poorly written fanfiction was to just antagonize a broken child, turning her into a monster for the sake of friggin angst!

4. The Search is the worst of the two, being flat af character wise

And finally, getting to the point that I personally find the most annoying about these comics: The Search. This one... This one is a mess on a hella lot many levels, and just to list a few: characters are flat as fudge, being either black as vanta black (like Ozai and Azula) or pure white like Gene’s Gary Stue OC, Mr Ikem (or how I like to call him, IKEA man) and his ‘victim’ rendition of Ursa, Azula gets to suffer more for no reason (see reason number 3 to why I find this as a no no), Ursa’s whole character sucks ass (man, I could write a whole thesis on why Yang’s version of her is terrible and doesn’t match the strong woman we got in the show) and Zuko does morally wrong stuff (my man literally used his unstable sister to bribe their dad into spitting info about Ursa... Show Zuko would never do that!;-;)

Oh boy, as a person who’s seen a ton of anime and other media and read many books, I can’t begin on how much I despise this type of writing: flat characters are the worst!

 ATLA characters in the show are nothing close to being flat! What I mean by that is that none of them fall perfectly into pure white (aka goodest of good characters with no imperfections) or vanta black (aka lowest and darkest twisted monsters out there), each of them are various shades of grey (like Aang who is a very light grey because despite being a very kind and nice character, he still isn’t a “perfect hero” since he ran away from his duties, practiced tax fraud with Toph, had insecurities and even threatened to kill people on ocassions like with the sand benders who took Appa) and this is a good choice because that prevents them from becoming what’s globally known as Mary Sues and Gary Stues (aka those either “perfect” characters with no flaws and/or unlimited power, or the twisted monsters full of flaws).

And the other reason why many other people hate The Search: it literally negates previously established cannon. And here comes my short essay on why this comic fails Zuko’s family (since we’ve already talked enough about Zuko himself).

In cannon and even interviews with BryKe, it was clearly stated that Zuko’s family was “once happy”. Where is this “once happy” family in The Search? All I see is pain, deception, lies and betrayal, nothing close to anything that resembles happiness. Okay, some of you might come in and say that “It’s because it was never the case! It was only lies and Zuko trying to convince himself that he didn’t live in hell forever!” and here is WHERE YOU WERE ALL WRONG! And why? Because, my dear fella, where were depicted the flashbacks of Zuko’s “happy family” in The Beach? Ember Island. And what do we know and had been even quoted in the show?  "Like waves washing away the footprints on the sand, Ember Island gives everyone a clean slate. Ember Island reveals the true you." (direct quote from the show). Exactly, no matter who you are or how hard you try, you can’t hide your true self when you are on the Ember Island, best example being Azula, who’s impenetrable though shell cracked and revealed the true vulnerable child that was underneath. If Azula couldn’t resist the “spell of the island”, no one can. So this means that Zuko’s family was indeed happy once and yes, Ozai wasn’t always the douchebag we got to know in Season 3 (I have a whole nother essay on my theories regarding what could be his real past story and why he’s actually the “Zuko” of his generation, based on stuff I gathered from old wiki entries and character analyses I made, but that’s for another time, lemme know if ya’ll are interested).

And what I guess is the biggest proof why The Search did this family’s past trash is comics Ursa herself. My dude, if this woman were indeed the victim of years of endless abuse and never loved her husband, I guarantee you that she would’ve been closer to what we saw in Todoroki’s mom from BNHA and Zuko would’ve gotten that scar or even worse long before the Agni Kai, not from his “daddy dearest”, but from “mommy dearest” herself, because no sane woman would be soo affectionate and attached to a child that’s the perfect copy of their abuser, sepecially appearance wise (again see Todoroki’s mom’s case from BNHA because the stories are really similar) and in no way would’ve she been willing to sacrifice her life for said child’s sake. With this ocassion, I remind ya’ll folks that according to the ancient ATLA cannon wikis on Nick’s site, Ozai was designed with Zuko’s appearance in mind, being meant to be like a “grown up scarless version” of Zuko. So yeah, remember this with a grain of salt that whenever you simp over grown up Zuko, you involuntary simp for Ozai too.

So yeah, I guess this kinda concludes my “not so short” rant about why the comics fail and are bad fanfiction. Lemme hear your thoughts in the comments and if you agree, feel free to leave a like and even reblog.

Bye bye and remember that Momo is the true strongest character of the show!

 Saby out.

[mariinara]

Hcs for Harry Flynn when he realizes that he is in love? 🥺

Awh, fuck yeah! I love me some cocky Englishman!

Well, him realizing he's absolutely smitten with somebody would just be fucking torture because he goes through the five stages of falling in love:

Step 1) BUTTERFLIES!!

- A.K.A, the "happy anxiety".

-Typically, Harry isn't the most candid of men when it comes to showing how much he loves someone, but, boy, oh boy..

-He fucking hates it when he makes a stupid joke or throws a one-liner and you reward him with one of your genuine, bright laughs. He just watches you throwing your head back, eyes closing and crinkles forming at the corners, and you just.. laugh at something he absentmindedly said.

-Don't get it wrong; it's not like Harry doesn't know he's downright charming‐ He's a hit with the ladies! But, when he feels that flutter in his abdomen? It just feels raw. Different.

-And, jesus, when you're apart? He just can't shake you off. He's good at shrugging feelings off. Always has been. Ignoring them is no problem. But coming back home to a cold, empty bed? That's probably the worst of it. And, God, he wishes you were right there next to him, making jokes and telling him all about the things you love and– oh god – what was he THINKING!? That can't be fucking right. He CAN'T be thinking like that. He just needed a drink, right? Maybe a couple. He'll get over it. It's nothing.

-But he just can't deal. He can't fucking get you out of his head. Every little thing reminds him of you. From the warmth of the sun embracing him through his window to the shower that relieves his aching muscles before he goes to bed.

Step 2) BUILDING!!!

-You and Harry have always been out with your group of friends– The Drake brothers, occasionally Chloe and Nadine if they weren't too busy– but you rarely ever go out alone.

-But that one night you did?

-You had time for each other. All the time in the world, in fact, to really just absorb each other– bask in one another's presence.

-With a couple of beers in your systems, Harry was more comfortable confiding in you when it came to childhood stories. Some anecdotes. Straight up embarrassing first dates.

-He'd point the neck of his beer bottle at you and give you a serious stare before going on to say, "Do not snitch on me with the Drakes."

-The smile and the zipping-your-mouth motion you'd do was enough for him to spill his heart out to you.

-Only then did it seem like you really saw each other in different lights.

-Harry always thought you were pretty and effortlessly funny. You thought he was handsome but quite literally the stereotypical English douchebag.

-He was.

-But peeling away at his layers was the most fascinating thing you've ever experienced.

-And him seeing more to you than just a pretty face? It nearly made him lose his whole mind on the spot, because wow you were a completely different person to him during the moments he shared with you.

-Instead of wanting to sleep with each other meaninglessly, you grew curious and interested in gathering more information about each other.

-Especially Harry, because, Good God, when you start info-dumping on him with those stars in your eyes? It feels so good and he still doesn't know why.

Step 3) ASSIMILATION!!!

-There came a time when Harry grew a pair and finally decided to ask you out on an innocent date. Just the two of you. Someplace nice.

-It went well until your social anxiety kicked in and you decided to take it on home.

-With Harry, card games and alcoholic cocktails were a MUST, so if things escalated quickly, no one would be surprised.

-It surprised both of you that it took that long, actually.

-And after messing up his sheets, sharing hot breaths and having your bodies molding together, tethered with sweat and desire, you were finally sound asleep next to him. Right there. Like he'd always wanted.

-The realization kicked in when he sobered up slightly. And, wonder of wonders, it had him absolutely freaking the fuck out. Zero to a hundred real quick.

-He couldn't fucking believe it, really. Everything he'd been hoping for has fallen into place and it was like he didn't plan that far ahead, and at that moment, looking at how peaceful you were when you slept, hair sprawled on his pillows and face turned away from him, chest calmly rising and falling, he felt like he needed to come up with a plan. Immediately.

-And he realized how much you clicked. On every level. You saw eye-to-eye in almost everything. The essentials, at least.

-And when he lazily plopped back down on his bed to take in a calming breath, he closed his eyes and raked his hands down his face, deciding that he definitely needed to make a special place for you to fit in that mess he called his life.

-It was too real. And while he thought the reality of it would terrify him and push him away, it helped gravitate him towards you. Helped keep him grounded and humble, too.

Step 4) HONESTY!!!!

-Vulnerability.

-That was the word Chloe mentioned to Harry. The "Key Word", she'd emphasized.

-As much as something like that had never crossed his mind, Chloe made it make sense to him.

-If he wants you as the one constant in his life, he needed to be as transparent about it as possible.

-Pretty much, it was a make-it or break-it situation.

-Harry doesn't remember sitting around, staring at a wall for a couple of hours, biting on his nails in anxiety. He hasn't been this way since he'd grown out of his teen years.

-Damn. You kicked him right back to childhood. And it was high time for him to accept that.

-He was a man who set his eyes on the prize and almost always got what he wanted. It was how life was for him. If he reached high enough, he could grab the stars if he wanted.

-But, no, everything he'd been looking for was right there, on earth, sitting at the same dinner table with him for years, and he was stupid enough to only flirt with you.

-And he decided.

-He was going to call you to set up another date. An important one. Made sure to tell you to "doll up" so he could hear you telling him "bite me" with that smile in your voice that amused him so much.

-He took you to his favorite spot. Drove you to the middle of a grove. No one but you two there, sitting in his classic Cadillac, and when he was ready, he turned the engine off and turned to you.

-You didn't know. You had no idea. You were beyond confused. Because what were you doing in the middle of nowhere? He wouldn't answer you. Only told you to wait and see. But he seemed different. His eyes were glossed over, like something else had completely taken over his mind. Thoughts clouded by only one thing.

-All it took for him to stop looking at you with soft, yet contemplative eyes that were practically silently begging you not to fucking break his heart because he, frankly, would not know how to recover afterwards was a gently, concerned call of his name and your touch against his knee.

-He breathed deeply. Rubbed his temples. Mumbled a "Fuck me" under his breath before chuckling. He voiced how he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, and you reminded him that it was just you. That he could definitely trust you. That you'd be here, no matter what it is.

-You rambled on and on about how you'd always have his back. If he wanted to break up, that's fine too. You weren't even looking at him to see the look on his face when you said that. He only stared at you incredulously, like you were stupid.

-And, as usual, you made it so much easier for him to talk. To love you like he always has.

-You forced him to lurch forward and seal your lips with a kiss to shut you up, his hands cupping the sides of your neck, thumbs caressing your jawline, his hot breath shattering against your cheek when he tilted his head to deepen the kiss to feel you melt in his grasp.

-He loved it most when your shoulders grew less tense and you sighed against his lips and he'd open his eyes slightly to watch as your brows melted into that desperate arch.

-That was when he pulled away, as gently as possible, watching you slowly descend back to earth, eyes fluttering and love-drunk, staring back at him.

-And that's when he inhaled deeply and cupped your cheeks firmly, "You are such a stupid woman, has anyone ever told you that before?"

-He was exasperated. But he was soft with you, smiling gently and swallowing, eyes bouncing between yours.

-"Yeah, I might've heard that before.." You chuckled, baring that beautiful smile of yours, cheeks squishing against his hand.

-And he huffed, not being able to take how much his chest was swelling, and he spelled it out, "Fuck, I am so in love with you.."

-You couldn't believe it. Didn't process it at first. It was every single cog in your brain stopped turning.

-But when it sank in, you almost cried out. In both relief and happiness. He wasn't breaking up with you; but he was in love with you, and you'd be lying if you said you weren't waiting for it.

-With a barrage of kisses that had him making surprised noises, you professed your requited love for the man you began to straddle in the car seat, catching him off guard, but relieving him and letting him hold you close, all the same.

Step 5) STABILITY!!!

-Shit, from that moment on?

-Everything moved so fast.

-Even the two years you'd been dating. You didn't even feel them. Celebrating your second anniversary was the weirdest.

-Especially that you realized you were celebrating it in your shared home, on that faithful fall morning, when summer had just ended and everyone could breathe again.

-Getting to discover each other, share your life, food, laughter, smiles, even the small bickering and childish arguments like "you took the whole cover last night and I had to sleep with my bum out for the air conditioning to eat out" only fortified what you had.

-Contrary to what everyone thought of Harry, he was extremely supportive and he gave the best hugs.

-He was the best person to travel with, go on adventures with, have a picture album with, and drunkily makeout with during a boring Netflix movie, frankly.

-You would literally never could've thought it would end up being so perfect for the two of you. Just two flawed humans making the best out of each other and accepting the bad, since it was nothing you.

-Neither of you tried to change the other. You only made sure to be there when needed. And you worked it out in the end, whatever it was.

-As for Harry?

-He has never felt more fulfilled.

-Nothing in this damn world would tie him down, but he realized that having someone to love and for them to love you back like you two did never tied him down, it only sort of set him free in a way he never knew he needed.

-He might've progressed through the five stages, but that never meant that he didn't go back to step one every time you did a thing he loved.

-He was just a big softie for you!

[nachosforfree]

☕ gretchen's deal with eliza :]]]]]]]]]]]>]>]]]]]][]]]

o_o q youre gonna make me dwelve into spoilers but ok

i think its so interesting and sad that gretchen makes a deal with eliza. gretchens had her siblings ripped away from her, and eliza is forced to realize that she missed her chance of ever reconciling with her estranged children. they almost hate each other, but they both know theyre some of the only family the other has. and instead of trying to be vulnerable around each other to mend what little relationship they have, they set up this fake, surface level by coming to an agreement that neither of them really want the outcome of. instead of eliza having to confront her feelings of guilt from pushing jessique and marion away (both emotionally and physically), she pushes every feeling into a box labelled "what gretchen wants of me", which definitely stunts any character development she has

its also sad to me how john takes advantage of both gretchen's and eliza's grief. he'll say it himself in the comic when it comes to it, that he doesn't care about jessique or marion's "deaths" (in quotations because marion isnt actually dead) and he knows gretchen knows this. he sees this tragedy happen to his family and all he does is try to turn it into an opportunity for him to get the power he desires, and i think its fitting that this inevitably leads to his failure

half-heart is a story i want to focus a lot on character's relationships with one another and how they either help each other heal or hurt each other themselves. and gretchen and eliza are in this weird place in between where, in different circumstances where everyone in the enneson-freasa family had less pride, they COULD help each other, but in the comic they arent necessarily hurting each other. the entire enneson-freasa family is so interesting to me, the tragedy of jessique dying and marion going missing is basically the center of the entire story and how it begins, but no one in this family can fully confront their emotions on the situation, even when they all come face to face.

damn that was a whole info-dump huh

[goosefeathercore]

13 days until The Broken Code book 4!!!

Hiiiii @ the like.. 2 people counting down with me you’re very swag and I hope everyone at least somewhat likes the book lol! I know a lot of people are very annoyed that the Erins released a cover ‘spoiling’ that it was Ashfur, but I personally just don’t think that it’s so drastic??? There were clues from the start but by the end of the last book I myself thought that it was indisputably Ashfur, but I understand that not everyone is caught up and they have may have missed some of the build up! So for people who are afraid that the Erins have killed off the climax way too soon, don’t fret! I think Ashfur was dragged out long enough, although I understand why you would want the reveal saved until the end. BUT the good news for you is that this is a much bigger scheme than just Ashfur, consider this the first piece of the puzzle! Ashfur is honestly really god damn sad to listen to rn..it’s very clear that he’s severely immersed in a delusion that even death was not able to pull him out of. His plan isn’t to dismantle the clans, his plan is just to get back to Squirrelflight, and someone fed into that delusion and enabled him to act on it. What I’m saying is that he’s a pawn. Ashfur has always been extremely vulnerable to manipulation because everyone knows that they only need to mention Squif to hook him into doing their bidding. If you drop a little crumb about her every once in a while, you’re feeding his obsession and he’s easy to control.

But the cool thing is, aside from one or two fan theories, we have no idea who is pulling Ashfur’s strings. Ashfur didn’t have any plan other than getting close to Squif again and what he was told to do about code breaking. Obviously, he didn’t handle it so masterfully, because it was really never his agenda in the first place. Ashfur is no mastermind, he was only dangerous in the beginning because he was acting out a really smart plan. So with Ashfur’s piece in place, our goal now is to figure out who his superiors are in this scheme! There’s also the question of what’s going to happen to Ashfur now. Obviously, he’s going to be interrogated, and it’s very likely that they will use Squirrelflight’s power over him to do this. It’s kind of against my morals, but in what is essentially a criminal investigation it’s a very effective strategy and contributes to the bigger picture. A couple of issues with this come to mind for me. Firstly, Ashfur might hardly know any information himself! If this is a big organized attack, Ashfur was just the one they made do the dirty work and they must have known the risk of him getting caught. In things like this IRL, the underlings just know enough to be convinced and do their specific job, so that if they’re caught, the leader(s) remain safe.

Another potential problem (which many people likely won’t care about and that’s fair i’m just a hyper-empath) is what’s going to happen to Ashfur if he does have information and he spills it. Snitches get a lot more than stitches, and Ashfur is already dead, so if he was killed again for giving away info, he’d be permadead and I hateeeee when that happens in the books :(( I mean, I’m not particularly convinced that the clan cats would protect him. Firestar probably would have because he’s Firestar and he’s a bleeding heart like yours truly, but my man is gone and I’m not sure if anyone alive rn would have sympathy or even pity for Ashfur. Am I an Ashfur apologist? HELL NO 😭 but I consider him to be about on the same level as Breezepelt. Meaning, they’ve done really shitty things that they are not entitled to be forgiven for, but they’re also not evil-minded like the cats in the place of no stars are. They are not lost causes as long as there is someone willing help them. Yellowfang was kind enough to accept him into Starclan, but he was still so much of an outcast there that he was alone with his thoughts and someone was able to creep in on him.

It might sound extreme, but I still think that Yellowfang made the better choice, even if she didn’t give very good reasons for it. If they had dumped him straight into the dark forest, he’d be eaten alive by the truly sadistic, black-hearted, jaded, violent masterminds that live down there. He’d basically be a servant, just like he was in life and that would be handing the dark forest a free apprentice to execute their whims. So I think that getting help in Starclan is still the better choice for everyone. But Yellowfang or somebody needs to work with him just like a counselor helps people with delusions rationalize IRL, they don’t go away on their own. I genuinely think that if he had something Heathertail and Crowfeather were to Breezepelt, he could finally an ok guy! Sorry if this one is a mess, I’m having a pretty off day mentally but this is still something keeping me going!

[pass-the-bechdel]

Buffy S2E16 ‘Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered’

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?  

Yes, by the skin of its teeth

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?          

9 (64%)

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

5

Positive Content Rating:

Two

General Episode Quality:

Not only is it disgusting content wise, it doesn���t even make sense storytelling wise

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Cordelia and Harmony pass at the very end when Cordelia calls her a sheep and she says she’s not. 

Female Characters:

Buffy

Willow

Cordelia

Amy 

Harmony

Miss Beakman

Jenny Calendar

Drusilla

Joyce

Male Characters:

Xander

Giles

Spike

Angel

Oz

Other Notes:

Xander, D- is still a failing grade. You need at least a C-. Get with the program. 

Angel and Spike can stop this pissing contest around Drusilla like she’s not even there. Gag. 

Angel’s going on and on about poetry and then he settles for sending Buffy a bunch of roses? That’s the most unoriginal gift you could send, threatening or not. 

This is the most emotionally mature Xander has been in two seasons. I’d appreciate it if it weren’t so out of character. And if it weren’t obviously meant to make it easier to ‘sympathize’ with him when he’s a total dick like three scenes later

Why does this whole school care if Xander got dumped?

Get your hands off Amy, Xander. Also, why would you threaten to tell people Amy’s a witch? “Yes, Ms. Teacher, I think she can work magic”? How would they even address that?

Going back to being petty, manipulative, and cruel is so much more on brand for Xander, unfortunately. I don’t like it, but it is expected. 

Making a joke about lapdances? Stop being so creepy to your female friends, Xander. God, why is Buffy still friends with him?

Xander doesn’t want to take advantage of Willow or Buffy while they’re under a spell and is visibly uncomfortable with the situation but had no problem with the idea of putting Cordelia in the same situation. He’s not a good guy for backing off of them, it just shows that there are some women he deems worthy of respect and autonomy and some he doesn’t. 

I gotta admit “I’m twice the fool it takes to do something like this” is a line I intend to incorporate into my every day vocabulary. 

“But if you had one clue what this would mean to me... but you don’t. So I can’t.” So Xander isn’t refusing to take advantage of Buffy because it’s wrong, but because it would make him feel bad. Cool, glad to know that this is still about him. 

“No one can love two people at once” For being a hippy dippy pagan that’s pretty close minded of you, Jenny. Polyamory is valid, ya’ll. 

“It’s not love, it’s obsession. Selfish obsession.” Giles needs to give that lecture to Xander, tbh. 

I just... this episode is not good. Nothing about this is handled well. First, they make Xander uncharacteristically sweet and mature so that Cordelia seems like the only one in the wrong for breaking up with him so heartlessly. Then he forces another woman to take away her autonomy. It’s not even really explained why the spell goes wrong, which is just bad story telling. Then we get all these prolonged shots of women that Xander had previously done wrong pining for him and wanting to be taken advantage of, along with every other woman in town (which is heteronormative as hell). In the end the closest thing to repercussions that he suffers is a line from Buffy that this has to hurt for Willow in particular because she was in love with Xander already. Not because she was prepared to lose her virginity to him without being able to fully consent. And this is the second time Buffy is put in a near sexual assault situation with Xander, which has to be traumatic as hell. Instead, she thanks him for not raping her, which is the lowest possible bar he could pass right now. And of course, Cordelia thinks its sweet that he put them both in danger and was willing to take away her free will, because it was because he just wanted her so bad (never mind that he made it clear to Amy that the whole purpose of the spell was to be able to reject Cordelia and leave her heartbroken) and her leaving her friends (who, yeah, were shitty) for Xander is framed as empowering and not total garbage. I just... I really don’t like this episode. 

Editor’s Note: not only is Buffy put in a near sexual assault situation with Xander yet again, she’s also put in a state of extreme vulnerability and exposure (y’know, with the nudity and all), and that’s a violation of her boundaries of intimacy even though Xander doesn’t touch her. Not only is the episode (and the characters) giving Xander credit for not being a rapist, it’s also completely dismissive of every other level of violation which is inherent in robbing someone of their free will. And even if he didn’t mean to do it to everyone else, he did mean to do it to Cordelia, for the express purpose of hurting her, and yet the entire narrative packages this as an innocent whoopsie for Xander instead of a huge fucking red flag for abusive, objectifying mindsets. We already know that Xander should not be allowed near women, but instead, the episode has him forgiven by all involved and reunited with his girlfriend in the end - he is actively rewarded for his crimes. This whole episode is a big, big no.

[loykba]

Barangay Interview and Community Walk

Our NSTP’s final requirement for this semester is to conduct a Barangay Interview and Community Walk where we would have a chat with a barangay official who is in charge of Barangay Disaster Risk Reduction Management (BDRRM), ask them if my barangay is ready when disasters strikes, and explore my community where disasters would be detrimental to each and everyone, the most susceptible, and the safest place to go when a disaster will, has, and had strike.

I invited my father’s good friend (my dad works at our barangay) to our house, Mr. Mario Rances, because he is the head of the BDRRM and asked him a couple of questions whether our barangay is disaster ready and if it can help its citizens in rising again despite the casualties. I asked him where would disasters greatly impact in our barangay when flood, fire, and earthquakes happen. I asked him these because our barangay has many informal settlers in it and not all houses are made of stones, so fire’s could spread quickly, flood’s can destroy houses, and it can make evacuation or escape hard or impossible because of panicking people. 

He said they usually gets info from our main LGU, Malabon City, about the incoming disasters than can affect our barangay. And it is also a common practice in our community when there are violent winds, no birds flying, and no stars at night, an incoming hurricane or hard pouring rain is on its way so our barangay usually gives announcement for evacuation. My barangay is prone to floods because our barangay is the catch basin of every barangay in Malabon and the improper waste management of our community which clogs the drainage, so that even if rain pours, even just a drizzle, there would be flood.

And he mentioned the streets that are vulnerable to these:

Flood - M. Dick St., Sanchez St., Espiritu St.,

M. Dick St.

Sanchez St.

Espiritu St.

He mentioned these streets in susceptibility to floods because these are the catch basins of the waters coming from the higher places from our community.

Fire - Espiritu St., Kaingin St. (I & II), Bustamante St., M. Dick St. (Avha), Gov. Pascual (Barrio Makike)

Kaingin St. (I & II)

Bustamante St.

M. Dick St. (Avha)

Gov. Pascual (Barrio Makike)

These places are susceptible to fire because the houses are very congested and are made of light materials which easily catches fire and are highly flammable. These are where the informal settlers settle.

There was a fire on both Espiritu St. (Riverside) and M. Dick St. (Avha) where there are reportedly 50-70 households are affected and 5 deaths are reported at the Riverside incident.

Earthquake -  M. Dick St. (Avha),  Gov. Pascual St. (Barrio Makike),  Kaingin St. (I & II)   

As he stated earlier, these are the most affected when it comes to escaping due to narrow pathways or exits. Because when disaster strikes, its man for themselves. They would focus on getting out there alive and not care about other people.

These disasters affects the marginalised in our community because most of them relies on every day wages (jeepney and tricycle drivers) so that they can feed their whole family. So if they did not pasada on that day, they could not feed their family for today. They would resort to being in debt to sari-sari stores to buy their food for that day.

He stated that there are safe places against the disasters awaiting to come to our barangay. Because these places are the highest places in our barangay, the houses in there are made of stone or materials not that flammable, or the houses are far apart. These are the places he stated:

Flood - Gov. Pascual St., Sisa St., Celia St., Cripsin St.,            Kaingin St. (I & II), Bustamante St., Villarba St.

Sisa St.

Celia St.

Crispin St.

He stated that these streets are found in higher parts of our barangay which makes them less susceptible to floods.

Fire - Sisa St., Villarba St., Crispin St.

Villarba St.

These places are not susceptible to fire because the houses found in these streets has a fire wall (a wall that blocks fires from spreading), houses made of stones or materials that are less likely to catch fire, and each house has spaces between them, they are not congested.

Earthquake - every street

He told me that every street in our barangay is almost safe because we don’t have high rising homes (usually up to 2nd floors) so evacuation and exit is easier and our barangay is not in the fault line.

The problems that our barangay has faced are high levels of floods, the lack of equipment to help (they have help from the DRRM but there are other places that also needs help, sometimes they are the ones that need more help than us), lack of help from the residences (making their homes as shelter for others, food, clothing, etc.), the lack on quick response and relocation sites (barangay, barangay court, barangay multi-purpose hall, and Tinajeros national Elementary and High School Campus) because these places cannot accommodate every resident that needs relocation in our barangay.

Mr. Rances told me that our LGU has recently mandated that each barangay of Malabon should document and show the equipment available for the incoming disaster which then are evaluated if it is enough to help each and every resident the barangay is covering and if it can work perfectly and efficiently. Our barangay has complied to the evaluations required by the Malabon Council which requires our barangay to have e.g. life vests, rubber boats, and signages (where it states the fault line, relocation area, where is it safe to pass, etc.) and our barangay has the Tinajeros Fire and Rescue and Tactics, a team or department of 20 volunteers and more that reponds to disasters and helps in rescuing those who are in need of help during disasters.

Our barangay has a calamity fund which is enough to support the families affected of these disasters for their food during and after the disaster and some monetary help for them to start anew if ever they are greatly affected by it. They also plans ahead if ever the disaster occurs, where would be the relocation site for affected families, estimated affected families, where would they start for the search and rescue, where they would pressure the residents to leave their homes for relocation, and their hotlines and phones (the barangay council and tanods) are always ready to answer for help.

Our community helps hand in hand if disasters strikes, where we would help other families to put their household appliances to an upper floor or ground and we cook more food so that we can share it with other families affected by disasters, but the barangay council and staff and tanods are the ones that direct us where to go for safety, what to do during disasters, and helping us keep calm and tell us everything will be alright because they got everything planned.

This is the Riverside I said that was burned down by the fire, there are houses built on there again after a few months even though our barangay has relocated them somewhere else. They said that this is where their life was, where they work, it would be hard for them to relocate because they would leave their life in here. They would prefer to live in this unlivable place (no drainage, illegal settler) than to live in a place where they would not be scared because their house is made of stone and would not be easily destroyed by any disaster.

The safest places would be in the Villarba St. out of every streets in my barangay, because this is on eof the most highest place in our barangay and most houses are made of stone, and there are apartments available here that a family of four can live in. So one can live in there safely and comfortably.

I’m proud of my barangay for this, they are upgrading our roads and canals. They upgrade our canals by digging them deeper so that it can accommodate more water. They also has a clean-up drive for our canals, implements strict segregation of trash, and has a daily dump truck that picks up trash from the residents, where each places has a specific day for the dump truck to pick up their trash like the coding scheme for vehicles.

For me our barangay is disaster ready and we, the residents, know what to do when disaster strikes because we are briefed by our barangay on what to do if we are affected. But mostly each and everyone of us should have discipline to lessen the impact of these disasters. Never throw trash anywhere to not clog or fill the canals with trash, listen to the news about the hurricanes and earthquakes, always unplug electrical devices when not in use to avoid fire, ALWAYS be careful when using fire (for cooking, candles), evacuate immediately when told to evacuate the premises, and follow the safety guidelines (duck, cover, and hold, stop, drop, and roll, don’t go near electrical devices when there is flood, etc.)

No one wants to live in a house where they do not feel safe and comfortable but the people that live in these dangerous places cannot live or move to a different place because they do not have the money to move. They are compromising because this is the only place they could afford to live in with their wage. Even if they want to move, they can’t. Honestly, our barangay is helping my community in anyway they can to prevent these disasters affect them greatly, but for me I would implement a kind of starting business for these families so they can afford to move or improve their houses. If not, they can offer some help in making their houses more less likely to be destroyed by disasters. But every Filipino also experience this, the want to live on a better place but they cannot because of their circumstances. I demand for the Government to help the marginalised in making their homes safer for them to live in, to use the donations and funds given to them to help the affected families and not to put it in their own pockets or eat it happily with their own family. They are put there by the Filipinos because they trust them that they would help in times of need.

During my interview and community walk, I cannot help but to feel thankful. A 2nd child born to a middle-upper class family. Someone who can afford to go to a prestigious school, eat 3-times a day, and sleep in a comfortable bed. That the house I live in is safe from disasters, i can sleep during the hurricane and flood without ever thinking we should get out of here because our home is washed away by the flood, sleeping soundly that our house are made of stone and nonflammable materials. The things I took for granted which other families would kill to have, that I was blessed to live in this kind of house. So for me to pay it forward, I would help in any way I can, the people who needs help during disasters. That by not throwing candy wrapper on the street would be a big help for our community to not get easily flooded. 

We live in a 3rd world country dominated by the marginalised. Where sleeping in the road despite high floods and heavy rains is common. This should be an eye opener to everyone, not just the government. That our country can never move forward because most of us are living poorly. That until the rich cares, the poor will always be poor whatever they do and even if they work harder. That until the lyrics of the songs “Tatsulok” by Bamboo and “Upuan” by Gloc 9 feat. Zelle are relevant and rampant in our country, we WILL always be a 3rd world country.

[aelinbitch-archive]

So I'm going back and rereading the entirety of TOG, starting with TAB, and it's really hitting me how different Aelin and Celaena are as characters. When I first read the series, I thought Celaena was a total badass right from the start, but now I see that she was actually quite timid at moments and unsure of herself. I contrast that with Aelin in like, EoS, and there is such a strong difference. Aelin is so bold and confident in her actions, and I can't wait to read HoF to see her changing.

(Second part) I feel like a lot of the fear that Celaena has in the first few books is about her feeling disconnected from her past. Like, when she tells Sam that her biggest fear is that deep down she is a coward, I think that fear comes from being scared of being Aelin, and once she accepts that she is who she is, she sheds that fear and gains all this emotional power from that. She no longer needs other people to believe in her like Ch*ol or D*rian, she believes in herself. It’s so powerful.

Yeah absolutely. I don’t think I would say that she’s totally fearless, but the fear specifically of who she is is gone, and like you said, that makes all the difference. Her fears in the later books come from, like, Fucking It Up and Causing Everyone To Die, not the yawning chasm of despair of her choice to neglect her past. And YES what you said about believing in herself and not needing the chainsmokers!!! Super super super powerful.

Ok now, I feel like I get so obnoxious pushing this on everyone who knows me (like, I introduced it to a waiter at the restaurant where I work the other day) but I can’t stop myself from bringing up the enneagram (super super quick run down it’s a personality thing like myers briggs but better and more in depth in literally every way, search my blog for more) in response to this ask so:

To me, the transition from “Celaena” to “Aelin” was just Aelin becoming a healthier Type Eight (her type). When people who think she had a personality transplant because they wanted her to forgive Chaol and she didn’t are all ~wahhhhh Aelin is a totally different person than Celaena!!~ I think about the enneagram and it’s like…. no…….. she didn’t switch types she actually went through very typical stress/growth movements within her type. Consider the levels of development for Eights, which I marked up a while ago:

(you might have to click on it to get a good enough resolution to read it). I would also add that killing and torturing Grave in CoM is an example of Level 7.

Since you brought up HoF, I would say that book (the beginning, specifically) is a great example of the stress move to Five (every number takes on the low/high qualities of a different number in stress/growth - Eights go to Five in stress and Two in growth). Here’s an excerpt from an enneagram book called The Milleniagram:

(if you’re curious for more pics of pages from this book, shoot me another ask and I’ll upload more for you :)) 

Also what you said about Celaena secretly being afraid/timid: 

(To explain the third pic - she has a Seven “wing,” which is a little of the number to either side of your number - so for Eight it could be Seven or Nine - that you “borrow” or “lean into.” It just changes your personality a bit, although your main type is still the most important thing). 

But a lot of that resonates, right? Sam is definitely someone who gets under her emotional armor (or, rather, who she allows under) and it’s cool to see her be vulnerable with him. 

Anyway I wasn’t really…… “going” anywhere with this answer besides info-dumping on poor anon here but long story short yeah!!!! hell yeah. yeah. 

P.S. - bonus pics from “The Wisdom of the Enneagram,” this long ass book written in the nineties:

(that’s not my thumb in the first pic lmaoooo) 

[occultsleutha]

SHIPPING INFO: Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?

The Hellblazer canon ones, of course. But out of those, I’m just gonna say JohnZee since the other characters are not reoccuring DC characters that anyone would even think to RP, lol. My rarepair is JohnClark, but don’t get me started because I will literally never shutup about why this ship is Poetic Cinema.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

One Night Stands: John is a horny fool. Bonus points if your character does the walk of shame the morning after. It’s okay, he won’t tell, he likes dirty little secrets. ; )

Fluff: Naturally, John takes a long time to open up but once he does, he’s somewhat of a  ( purposeful ) cornball. This is the hardest level to Unlock(TM).

Sexual Tension Denial: John’s doesn’t have the worst reputation. I’m sure there’s still a lot of superheroes that wanna smash but tell themselves they don’t because they’re trying to upkeep their sense of morals. But John knows the truth. >: )

Angst: John’s a hard person to love, not just because he has commitment issues and 7 suitcases of unresolved trauma, but everyone he loves gets killed because of him, so. Sorry in advanced.

Dating Experiments: Dating period that doesn’t really work out for whatever reason. Could turn out awkward, or neutral, or whatever you want.

Crash and Burn: The “We loved each other but it still didn’t work. We tried, though, we really did.” trope fucks me up.

Toxic Relationships: The nature of John’s past trauma, the traumatizing job he has right now, and his coping mechanisms are a recipe for disaster. John has a lot of anger, and outbursts, and shuts down a lot. One of his defense mechanisms is crossing the line and pissing you off so you’ll leave him and as a result, have a safer life. Relationship could flop depending on how the other person responds to him, or it could struggle along until the other person finally realizes John isn’t going to help himself.

Bitter Ex: Dump him, he’s trash. Throw his clothes out the window, try to smash his head with a beer bottle. Be bitter about it and have snarky banter whenever you cross paths!

Selfless Breakup: John breaks up with your muse because he wants to keep you safe. John admitting this is optional. 

Breakups: Break up with John, break his heart. He will probably let you because he thinks he deserves it. But maybe one day he’ll get really drunk and knock on your door at 3AM crying about it. :’ )

 Booty Calls: John is down for any kind of sex, threesomes, non-humans, etc. I don’t really RP smut though, but you’re more than welcome to. Or make implications if the time comes for it.

Unrequited: Honestly, you could do better, please don’t pine over this fool.

Really anything. Weird shit happens all the time. Shoot me your ideas.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

John is anywhere from 35 - 60 on this blog. John won’t really be interested being in a committed relationship with someone significantly younger than him. I’d say 10 years younger is the absolute max. If your muse is 35+, he won’t care that much. 

Are you selective when shipping?

John’s compatibility is hard to match. He doesn’t really seek out committed relationships, and if he does, he does it on the basis that he doesn’t expect it to be long term. 

He is sociable and flirty when he has good drinking days, but he’s not that willing to get vulnerable for other people. Especially since he gets everyone killed when they become part of his life. 

John also doesn’t think he deserves love, among other issues related to trauma.

If anyone is interested in John they’re going to need to be really patient and actually TRY to understand who he is instead of making assumptions on his reputation. He lives a VERY different life than normal people, the rules that apply to the occult and everything associated do not always match with the real world. He has to make difficult choices daily and he’s not always proud of them. Your muse has to understand that they’re not entirely in a place to judge, and may not entirely ever understand.

PATIENCE.

Also be ready to take on a lot of emotional baggage.

 Are you attracted to habitual smoking and drinking? 

If your muse is not a Good Character a long-term committed relationship will probably not last. John can be terrible on his bad days, but at his core he needs someone that fosters positive emotions and will push him to be better. He always reaches out to people that carry the kind of light he wishes he had. John regresses very easily, he can’t last long in environments where negativity festers. He’s not strong enough to commit to people that are as broken as him; he’s much better giving them help and sending them on their way. But even the “bad” ships are still ships, so.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

anything involving genital mention i guess??

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

@hraunwyf because loki, an immortal goddess, falling in love with someone like john constantine is nothing short of dramatic and spicy

@cardshcrp two idiots and maybe future exes ; )

[ FREE SPACE FOR ANY AND ALL CLARKS WINKWONK, ]

There are other blogs I’m mutuals with where John flirts w/ them, and has had some spicy stuff but im probably not active enough for them to have gotten far in development nfkndg

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Up to you.

How often do you like to ship?

John isn’t the “shippy” type, so I never really prioritize it.

Are you multiship?

Sure, there’s enough trash man Johnny to go around if you’re really that eager to ruin your life,

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Ship-less.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

JohnClark. I’m the captain of the ship and I will go down with it honorably,

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Flirt with John and see where it goes. 

Message me about it if you want to explore a ‘what-if,’ those conversations are fun.

Tagged by:   @pathtotruth Tagging:   anyone.

[phantoms-lair]

Tempo Trio Au

Now a unified post since the readmore’s are back

An info dump on what I have for my MSA, Marvel AU(mostly C&Ped from discord):

Okay, start 16 years prior to the story start with, of all people, Norman Osbourn. Norman is having a fling that's deepening into a serious relationship with a free spirited woman named Edie Ramone. His father disapproves on every level. She's not politically connected, she's a free spirit she's hispanic. Eventually it seems Osbourn senior has driven her off. Norman grieves the relationship and never starts one with Emily Lyman as in canon and remains single. Thirteen years later he learns the truth. Edie was pregnant and his father had found out and planned to abort the child so  Edie wouldn’t be able to tie herself to Norman that way. She fled to protect their unborn child. She died shortly after childbirth and their son, Lewis Harry Ramone was put into the system where he's adopted and becomes Lewis Harry Pepper.

And Norman is torn. There's a deep greedy instinct to reclaim his son. But....Lewis is happy. What if by reclaiming him Lewis resents him from taking him from where he was happy? What if Norman becomes his own father? He decides to leave Lewis happy with the Peppers, but watch over him. (Lewis totally coincidentally wins a lot of seemingly random giveaway with prizes he would like).

Lewis has two best friends. Arthur is a quiet inventive boy who lives with his Uncle following his parent’s messy divorce. Vivi is bright and energetic and loves to do things like climb trees and talk with squirrels. One day, when Lewis's class was touring an Oscorp facility an experimental spider escapes and bites Arthur. Norman, of course foots the medical bill as his best friend's father a responsible business owner. Soon afterwards Arthur begins to notices strange things. Super strength, inhuman agility, some kind of danger precognition. And he decides to tell no one.  Lance and Lewis would worry when there was nothing they could do and Vivi would be really excited and probably bad at keeping it a secret, especially from Lewis. So he just keeps a lid on it. Until the day Lance takes him to an exhibition match at the wrestling ring he won his belt in.

Arthur isn't like Peter. He doesn't want fame or money, he wants to keep  his head down. He's heading to the bathroom when he realizes there's a guy with a gun robbing the place. He may have super powers but the other guy's got a gun and Arthur's not about that life. He hides in a vent, texts Lance to tell him to keep low, and calls the police. He doesn't come out until he hears an all clear from the cops. At which point he sees Lance being loaded into an ambulance. He learns that Lance confronted the robber, who was trying to go after some other people. When Arthur bemoans "Why...?" he's told Lance said "All that's needed for evil to thrive was for good men to do nothing." And then he did something. This is going to be Arthur's 'Great power - great responsibility' analog

The hospital manages to save Lance's life  (waffling on whether Lance looses an arm and he gets the replacement), but he's not waking up. The doctors say he may never wake up. Arthur's father come down to set up Lance's long term medical care, then leave again. Everyone kind of assumes he or his ex wife stayed to look after their 17 year old son who's obviously traumatized, and Arthur lets them think that. Privacy works better for him anyway. He's never going to do nothing again.

Arthur’s first suit was made from left over wrestling things from his uncles collection, but later augments it with his own tech. He becomes the scourge of criminals all over the city. Including the secret criminal activities of Oscorp. Norman Osbourn (when not spying on his son) is trying to thwart the Spiderman that keep interfering with his schemes( and giving thanks to the small mercy that said schemes haven’t been traced back to him or his company). He managed to find some of Spiderman’s blood and decides to make a clone to kill and replace Spiderman. It seems to be going well until the clone matures and Oh fuck it’s Arthur

If I kill him, it’ll wreck Lewis

Craaaaaaap

So Norman goes to have a think on this new information. Unfortunately for him the clone is not exactly stable, mentally. (I think I’m gonna call him Mordred, bastard son of Arthur that he is). He despises being a clone. He hates Arthur for being real and Norman for making him. And wouldn’t you know it, there’s a way to wound both of them at once.

Lewis

Pretending to be Arthur, Mordred lures Lewis to an imported statue of an angel in the park and proceeds to try and kill Lewis by smashing his head on the statue. Lewis is big and strong, but Mordred has Arthur’s spider strength. He overpowers Lewis and leaves him for dead. Only the statue isn’t an angel at all. It’s Nemesis, Greek Goddess of Retribution, and she’s willing to cut Lewis a deal.

Lewis gets to come back to life and take revenge on his killer, in return for acting as Nemesis’s agent in the mortal realm. He sees Arthur the next day and is filled with rage. He tries to use his new power on him from a distance but…nothing? It won’t work. Maybe he needs some practice? Just to top it off, Arthur has the unmitigated gall to smile and greet Lewis like nothing’s wrong. Not wanting to make Arthur look like the victim, since he has no proof, Lewis suppressed his hatred until he can figure this out. In order to practice his power he create an alternate persona, Ghost, which appears as a fiery skeleton, to act a a vigilante and practice turning the sins of evildoers upon themselves. He runs into Spiderman pretty early on, and he genuinely likes the guy. Here’s someone risking life and limb to help others and expecting nothing in return, not even gratitude. He’s so naive though, believing criminals deserve mercy. One day he was going to get betrayed, like Arthur betrayed him. What else could he do but watch over the guy?

Soon Lewis learns his power works just fine, on everyone but Arthur at least. He assumes Arthur must have some supernatural protection. He starts bringing some stuff up in conversation, magic talismans, some religious stuff. And while Vivi’s eager to theorize, Arthur gives up nothing. Lewis even tries some old fashioned traps to get him and Arthur keeps just skirting them (Norman is busy trying to find Mordred and realizes none of this)

Arthur, meanwhile, has a lot of concerns about a lot of things. In addition to this new vigilante who seems to have good motivations but is far too ruthless, Lewis is mad at him, and he doesn’t know why. Lewis won’t explain when asked and he’s angry and moody all the time. He’s also asking all these strange questions about magic and old gods and …oh fuck Lewis is in a cult.

So in addition to normal high school life and Spidermanning, Arthur is trying to locate this cult so he can free his friend. He considers asking Vivi or Ghost but once again decides not to. Lewis seems to get even more angry if he tries to get Vivi alone and Ghost might decide to mindscrew every member of the cult, including Lewis! He’s on his own.

This comes to a head when Mordred thinks it’s been just enough time that Arthur might be getting over Lewis’s death. He confronts him in a park, where he’s supposed to be meeting Lewis and Vivi, wearing a black Spiderman outfit.

Mordred: You seem less grief stricken than I expected

Arthur: Why would I be grieving?

Mordred: Dude, that’s cold even for me

At this point Arthur considers himself pretty good at fighting, but that’s mostly due to his enhanced abilities and spider sense. Suddenly against an opponent with the same stabilizes who doesn’t rigger his precog Arthur is vulnerable and terrified. He manages a  quick text to the group chat that there is a crazy fake Spiderman trying to kill him and not to come

Vivi: No one tries to kill my friend Lewis: NO ONE KILLS ARTHUR BUT ME

Lewis gets there first. And sees red. Not only is this guy trying to steal his revenge, but he’s dressed up like an emo version of someone Lewis really respects. He goes to help Arthur and the black Spiderman freezes, while results in Arthur accidentally pulling his mask off trying to get him in a headlock. And neither he nor Lewis know how to react to the fact that it’s Arthur’s face under there. And while they’re still trying to parse that, Mordred has a blue screen of his own. “But I killed you!” At which point some things become crystal clear to Lewis 1)There are two Arthurs 2) His friend was completely and totally innocent the whole time and 3)The guy who tried to kill him is right there

And suddenly Lewis is fire. Mordred doesn’t know what’s going on, but he knows Lewis is still the weak spot of the two he hates the most and tries to attack him rather than Arthur. Lewis is going to take him head on but is suddenly pulled out of the way by Arthur…who’s using web slingers They simultaneous decide this conversation can wait. They gotta deal with Mordred. None of Arthur’s usual techniques work on him and he’s very good at dodging Lewis’s fire and not looking Lewis in the eyes for a Penance Stare.  

Suddenly the fight is interrupted by Vivi running to them and screaming ATTACK! Promptly followed by every squirrel in the park jumping Mordred at once.  Sensing danger and inhuman dodging ability doesn’t help when the danger is everywhere and there’s nowhere else to dodge to. So Mordred flees and Vivi is surrounded by squirrels, Arthur’s standing sideways on a tree branch, and Lewis’s heads on fire Vivi: I think we all have some explaining to do

Then a man with red and black hair wearing small yellow glasses “Yukino Viviane what in the nine realms were you thinki….” Then he notices Lewis “YOU!”

Vivi: (winces) And apparently not just to each other

So it turns out this guy, Mystery, is the Sorcerer Supreme of their world. Also Vivi’s magic bound godfather. He’s started a program helping supernatural beings blend in and live amongst normal humans (something as a kitsune he has a vested interest in). Vivi is one of those, she’s squirrel yokai (or half, still deciding). He does a pretty good job making sure there are no upsets between the arcane and mundane until someone showed up out of nowhere with his head on fire throwing around retribution spells.” He gives Arthur a gimlet eye, but Arthur just ‘Nope, I’m a mutant.“ He’s still watching him.

Lewis tentatively suggests they maybe do this somewhere less public, which Mystery eagerly agrees with. Arthur volunteers his house. Lewis: But what about your parents? When are they going to get home? Arthur: Not anytime soon

And while they’re on their way there, it really starts sinking in for Lewis that he has really been screwing the pooch. He’s spent all this time hating Arthur and trying to get his revenge on him, and Arthur was completely innocent the whole time. Hell, Arthur’s been using his spare time to help other people. (Also the realization of ‘if Arthur didn’t have superpowers, I would have murdered my best friend for no reason’ hits him like a punch in the gut)

It gets even worse when they get to the Kingsmen house and Vivi kinda pulls him aside. “Lewis…does it look like anyone else lives here to you?” Because no. No it doesn’t. “Arthur, when are your parents going to be here?” * shrugs* “Dunno, not anytime soon.” “Okay, let me rephrase. Arthur, when’s the last time either of your parents were here?” Arthur winced, then sighed. “The weekend after Uncle Lance got hurt.”

Months. Arthur had been living a double life alone in his house for months and they never knew.To be fair, he had ready made excuses built in. He never had them over, but it made sense because he famously did no get along with either of his parents. He wouldn’t spend any more time than absolutely necessary alone with them. Also why he would be out at odd hours with his superheroing. Mystery kinda explains the 'we’re trying to keep magic under wraps’. Lewis is “I didn’t know, and honestly everyone seems to think I’m a meta human’ and Vivi’s just 'BTW You’ve been fighting crime together without me how dare!’ 'We didn’t exactly know we were fighting crime with each other, Vi’ 'Oh Spirits you’re not going to get involved in this madness too?’ 'You bet I am’

So Vivi joins the team and Mystery decides to have an overseer role, trying to be strict, but the kids are growing on him. And this insane superhero thing seems to actually be a good idea. It’s a way that supernaturals have a way to act as their true selves and doesn’t even expose them as decades of comics means people don’t associate hidden worlds of magic with superheroes. It becomes a program he can institute on a wide scale. But his favorite place is with these three children. He’s known Vivi since she was a child and has helped her family ( a mix of squirrel youkai and yuki no onna) integrate with humans. And Lewis needs a lot of help suddenly going from normal human to magical. Arthur even comes with a certain relief of not needing to intercede on his behalf and he’s not technically  Mystery’s charge (Mystery tends to intercede on his behalf anyway)

And for a while it goes well. Then Mordred comes back

And it turns out his instability wasn’t just mental. His body has degraded. He’s become emaciated with green skin and eyes and black scelra. The mutation that gave him and Arthur their spider powers has also gotten a bit out of control. His limbs and digits have elongated and he’s grown extra eyes (and maybe limbs, still deciding, but if so I’m thinking an extra set of arms that split off from his and maybe some spindly spider legs coming out of his torso). There is no way he’s getting mistaken for Arthur anymore. He’s also ditched the black spider suit since it no longer fits. Between the squirrels and fire, Mordred has decided that Norman is the softer target and comes back for him. He attacks him and is interrupted by security. Mordred engages them until one declares Norman is dead, at which part he flees gleefully. This wasn’t true, but the guard realized Mordred was an assassin and figured he wouldn’t try to finish the job if he thought it was finished. Norman was taken to a secret location while they tried to save his life, while maintaining the fiction he’s dead. And that opens a can of worms no one was expecting. Because Norman’s will get’s executed and aside from some charitable donations he leaves everything to his only living relative. His son Lewis

So yeah. That’s how Lewis find out Norman is his father, after he’s been killed by a green goblin-like creature. (You see what i did there)

And Lewis has NO idea how to handle pretty much any of this.

Thankfully the lawyer executing the will is loyal to the Osborn family, and thus now to Lewis. Lewis recruits his parents and friends to try and work this out, and they finalize on an idea. They release the information that Norman had a secret son he left everything too, but as the child is still underage he’s going to remain unidentified until he’s old enough to take the helm, with the board running things until then and the lawyer acting as a proxy.There’s actually a trap in this for the board. First of all, by emphasizing Lewis as Norman’s 'child’  they imply he’s much younger than his 15 years and not going to appear for a long time. Meanwhile they’re watching the board, seeing who acts well and who’s trying to seize power.

Lewis is trying to get a crash course in business and all of them are helping him, until Norman recovers enough to be aware and finds out that his will was executed. So now Lewis knows and he has to face his son.

Lewis is MORE than relieved he no longer has to one day run Oscorp, but not sure how he feels about his bio dad who knew he existed but stayed away. Norman ends up being more honest than he liked, admitting his resentment towards his own father and being afraid he’s fall into those habits. "What could I give you? Material things. certainly. A level of luxury beyond your dreams. But could I give you a parent who was home for dinner every night? One who was available to help you with your homework? Could I be sure I would leave my ruthless behavior in the board room and never bring it home? Can I guarantee I’d never become my own father? You were loved. You were happy. You were better off.”

Of course it’s not that simple for Norman. Lewis may be uncertain, but Mr. and Mrs. Chef Pepper are clear in that Norman has to prove himself, and not in a  way that involves money at all. If he wants to be in Lewis’s life, he needs to put in time and get to know his son and let his son known him. Or else just stay away and leave Lewis alone.

In addition to spending time with Lewis, he starts working on creating a better image of himself for Lewis. It helps that he’s made his decision on what to do with his son’s being best friends with Spiderman. Namely it’s the realization that Spiderman is a strictly local hero and Oscorp is Global. Any illegal activity has been moved far away

Ironically Norman works so hard to seem like a better person so Lewis will like his he actually starting to become a better person, even slowly cutting out all activity not above board. He’s not sure how to take that

Random Things:

Vivi’s glasses are a magical trinket that make her look like a normal human and disassociates the her with the idea of being supernatural. She also has the single best information network in the city from every single squirrel being loyal to her. This makes her unparalleled at finding things. Her godfather is also teaching her spellcraft.

Mystery does the dissociation effect with Lewis’s locket, though thus far no one associated the kind and gentle Lewis with the ruthless Ghost. Lewis also discovers much later his powers can also heal if used on a good person.

The first gizmo Arthur added to the suit was a voice changer. He’s also built camera’s in the eyes so he can record things for evidence.

Arthur ends up helping Ironman at some point, including jury rigging part of the suit. Tony looks into him and Irondad commences.

Norman does NOT know Vivi and Lewis are Squirrel Girl and Ghost because of the disassociation trinkets.

If and when lance wakes up, it’s gonna take hi all of five minutes to figure out who Spiderman is.

Chloe is…well no one knows what Chloe is, but she’s a supernatural with a special gift for fabric. She ends up remaking all their costumes.

[fakesurprise]

Arrangements & Threats

It was two days before I was able to return to the Tower. Being part of the government means you are not free, even when it seems otherwise. I could have pressed the issue, but the deal had been struck and Lady Tower was no longer a priority; it wasn’t a battle I felt I needed to have. I did manage to arrange for a portable scanner attached to my right wrist: my senses are more than decent, but they were made for war as much as the rest of me and the scanner could be far more thorough in finding more practical matters, assuming the Lady did not alter the signals.

I took two lifts up, had my ID pinged twice on reaching the upper levels. Everything was run down and scarred when it wasn’t broken. Any war hit the upper levels of a city first, so no one sane lived here if they could avoid it. Which didn’t stop it from being too full of people. I made my way through narrow side roads and what were once transit hubs that now sat empty. No one is rebuilding after the last war; everyone is just hunkering down and waiting for a new one.

I try not to think too hard about that, find the side street where I met the boy and take the route back to the tower the Lady was in. Several streets, rooftops, boards and finally the rope ladder leading up. I subvocalized a commands to the scanner. One inhabitant, according to it, but the Lady could easily fool it from down here. I made my way up, pinged my location to Control, and knocked once on the door.

It could be a trap; I would revolutionize what Lady Tower could do. But even she knows what I do, and the door opened.

To the left was the shower, one of the two fridges, clothing, the mattress. No Lady, no technology, not even a single table left behind. The walls boasted new scorch marks in them that couldn’t have been more than a day old. The boy stood near the mattress, not moving at all. I walked in, the door closing behind me.

“I have a deep scanner on me; I am afraid I must use it.”

The boy hesitated visibly, then nodded once.

No trace of the Lady at all. The boy, though, was a surprise. His left leg had been damaged and regrown at some point, but body definitely bioengineered to be better than human. The electromesh woven into his flesh had been put in far earlier than I’d suspected, and his body was the only reason he had survived the gas attack. Damage to the lungs, a shunt for food and waste where his stomach should be, the false voice box made by the Lady. All the technology was well made, and that not a surprise. The surprise was that one of his kidneys wasn’t.

I double-checked the scan. “Your left kidney: you have a pocket. What is in it?”

The boy’s eyes widened a little. He reached up and touched his throat. “The Lady has done the best she could, but the mesh eventually destroys any voice box,” he said, and this box was an improvement over the one a mere two days ago; I only was certain it was a false voice because of the scan and that I knew it to be so. “I keep spare voice boxes in there.”

He opened it with a wince, closed flesh a moment later over a space that was too big to be normal. I’d know a couple of people with pockets that contained weapons a time or two, but the construction costs were too high to justify it normally.

“Your ID has been tampered with by the Lady.”

The boy nodded.

I continued the scan. He was male, though his reproductive organs were inside his body and dormant. A very rich family, to even do that at all. I turned the scan up to his head, and winced.

“When you told me you sold your eyes, I had assumed it was temporary.”

The boy said nothing; his eyes were eyes, but the cameras installed inside all fed into his brain and to various arrays sending the data elsewhere. Currently the Lady was not receiving them, but the boy wasn’t capable of doing so himself.

“You have a name, I trust?”

“Mello.”

“Stevens.” I walked closer. The boy moved toward me, frowned. “I’m not wearing the battle suit your mesh destroyed.”

“Oh. Right.” He walked closer, ran one hand onto my left arm, then slowly to my face and dropped it. “You have a lot of implants?” “I do. She left you here?”

“She said she can’t do anything more for for my voice, but the government might be able to grow me a real one? And a new stomach?”

“Given your mesh, it would be – expensive, and difficult.”

Mello nodded. “I understand. Would my eyes cover some of that?” So hesitant, those words. “I will need to ask. Wait here?”   He didn’t move as I left and dropped down to another rooftop. I pinged Alder.

He prefers debriefs, but does understand expediency: I dumped the data to him.

“Interesting. The Lady wanting to make certain we never renege on our deal. By proving she does not?” “I think so. The boy is clearly from a family wiped out during one of the wars, but it will take time to learn which one. That the Lady can alter official ID to scramble it means she can falsify. And that others can as well, and she gave that to us.”

“You want to use the boy.”

“If we don’t, others will. Patched into our Array he can be a walking deep scan, though limited. We can’t lose that kind of resource.”

“Anything else?” “Nothing that can’t wait until a debriefing.”

“Heh. I’ll start the approval process. Take him to one of your safe houses; if he is compromised, we can’t afford to lose any other assets beyond you.”

“Understood.” I disconnected and returned. “My boss is working out an approval process. Until then, I’m taking you to a safe house.”

Mello shook his head before I’d even finished speaking. “I’m safe here.”

“No, you aren’t. Not for what we’d have you do. I can’t give you access to the Array without approval; can you tap into Network feeds?”

He nodded. “I can see myself through them, use that, but right now I’m –.” He waved his hands over his head.

“Open. Vulnerable?”

“Outside here, yes.”

“Noted. Stevens. Access?”

Mello was silent over two seconds. “Granted.”

“Disable cameras,” I snapped, and Mello swayed a little. I had access to the entire command structure in him, to an extent. Definitely over the cameras. I wanted to know what had pushed him to a deal like that with anyone, but now wasn’t the time. I grabbed his hands gently, took them to my face.

He ran them over me slowly, and then moved and went over my entire body. Without the cameras, he wasn’t getting much data. Even the ones in his fingers were turned off, and I wasn’t certain what those ones were meant to do. “Thank you,” he whispered after.

“Not a problem. Preference?”

“Left hand?”

I headed out and he followed, taking the routes he knew by heart to the street and then a couple of more blocks before his left hand wrapped into my right. I shivered a little, unable to help myself. I understood sacrifice. I understood duty. But whatever Mello had done to himself went far beyond anything I was comfortable with. I wondered if the person he had sacrificed himself for would ever know, and what they might do in turn. The worst thing you can do for anyone is something they can never pay back, but I wasn’t sure if the boy understood that.

Or perhaps knew it too well, and that thought was so uncomfortable I wished I’d never had it.

One lift and a levtrain and a short walk was enough to reach the safehouse. Mello was silent the whole times, eyes closed, just listening to the world with a baffled frown. I wasn’t sure how long he’d spent above, but it was long enough that the solidity of the city unnerved him. Everything quiet, regulated and sane.

Everything in the upper levels of the city was neat and orderly by design. The buildings functional and solid, designed to withstand war and provide shelter and attack locations for us if someone invaded with soldiers. Everything was environment-proofed if a storm broke through the surface, and that was also enough to protect against a basic impact rifle. Nothing like what the Core of the cities have, but it was far better than the surface where survival would be a matter of luck more than anything else. The roads and sidewalks were all neat and tidy, government patrols regular enough in their irregularity to keep things orderly on the surface.

The safe house wasn’t anything special from the outside, or even the inside. It wasn’t particularly safe, since that could draw attention if the area was scanned. It was larger than the official maps suggested though and the asi that ran it more advanced than most of the surrounding ones. There were two caches of weapons and a shielded link to the governments private Array. I’d had to reinforce the three rooms myself and pinged the asi ahead of time to order supplies during our ride.

“It’s – quiet,” was all Mello offered softly as the sidewalk moved us to the end of one unit of buildings. I normally walked faster than the sidewalks travelled, but given Mello I just kept still, turned down the next sidewalk, and the next until we reached the safehouse. The building looked like every other building on the street: businesses below, housing on top though the businesses were all fronts for various government operations. The building pinged my ID and we went on, the lift taking us only to the fifth floor. I led the boy down the hallway and to unit 5L13, the door opening quietly.

The interior wasn’t much. One common room with a kitchen unit, info centre and table, and two bedrooms with a connecting bathroom at the far end. It was far more open than most housing units in the area, but that was for reasons of line of sight rather than anything else.

“Asi: add designate: Mello,” I said to the assistant.

There was a pause as the computer scanned him. “Provisional access granted per approval. Provisional exception authorized?”

Alder might not like using a lot of the modern systems, but he used them well when he had to. “Yes.”

Mello blinked a couple of times and turned slowly. The Lady – or whoever she had worked with – had designed to ocular implants to not feed back into him. But I could at least have him connected to the room cameras and see his own body that way. The asi noted the supplied and designated sleeping quarters to the both of us, and a map of the surrounding area and access points to lifts and glide tubes.

The boy walked slowly into the one bedroom, coming back out a couple of minutes later in a different shirt and pants.”These fit. You scanned my size?”

I shook my head. “No. I am good at guessing sizes.”

“That is an odd skill?”

“Not really. I was in the last war with Eden 4. You get good at judging people so you can order body bags and ship the dead home.”

Mello was quite a moment at that. “For their families?”

“More to keep the tech inside them out of enemy hands. Unofficially, of course.”

He nodded and made his way to the kitchen slowly, running his hands over the world surface and the fridge before opening it. “You ordered food I can eat.”

“I would be a poor host otherwise.”

Mello didn’t respond, pulled out a small food pack, lifted his shift and inserted it into his shunt before putting a Full patch on one arm for a few seconds before throwing it out. His shunt was civilian grade: insert food back, get nutrients equal to a solid meal. Remove back later when it collected waste. Repeat. Military shunts could use almost anything as a food source in them, but that wasn’t something we talked about with civilians. Replacing stomachs was practical, but seldom done without just cause because you needed to use drugs to convince the body you’d eaten even though you had. Put the wrong food in a shunt, use a Full and you’d starve to death thinking you weren’t.

He walked over after, circling me slowly. Using the asi scans only, since it was all he could access. “You’re taller than I thought you were, ma’am. Do you – use another name, besides Stevens?”

“No, I don’t. Ma’am is fine, if you want to be formal.”

That won a shy smile. “I’d rather not, If I may?” He was quiet a moment. “May I ask you a question?”

“Yes.”

“Your eyes contain cybernetics as well?”

“They do.”

“Can you cry?” he asked, even softer, a slight tremble in the words. I marvelled at what the Lady had done to make such a voice box.

“No. I have always taken that to be a blessing.”

“Me too.” He licked his lips. “Thank you, for the helping.”

“You’re welcome. I’m hoping I don’t have to kill you.”

“Me too,” he said again, with feeling, the Lady definitely an enigma to him as well.

I left him to learn the safe house as best he could and returned to make my report. It was true I didn’t want to kill him, but not as true as the reality that I would without hesitation. Sometimes I am far too good at being the person I was made into. But a small part of me wonders if I can always be good enough: surely there would come a point where I would not sacrifice everything for duty.

I suspected it would only come with my death.

[deveharrington]

[5 new theories] + Ok anons, I will heed your advice and take a break. Thanks for all the responses, good and bad. I also apologize for my last theory. Consider some new theories in light of new info?

Before I fully relax, and I am typing this from the HMS DavidDuchovnyFrustration’s jacuzzi, let’s do some more mental gymnastics! 

I always want to adjust my perspective in light of new info. So, following the release of the beach photos from August 19, I have some new thoughts. 

Would it sound crazy for me to say that these pictures are actually making me doubt my own previous theories? Ok well everything I say probably comes across as crazy. 

My imagination just outruns me, I love being proven wrong. I think I need it lmao.

So here are my most recent theories in response to the beach photos. 🐶 ⛱️

(Also, I will not post the actual photos because I simply refuse to and because I am a big baby)

💣 [THEORY 42] It means nothing. 

I propose that, right now, he is in a state of (and a potentially dangerous level of?) apathy and neutrality. This neutral state of being is a bad combination with his already very laid-back nature. 

He is going nowhere, and this could lead to frustration. And if David cannot face his feelings or be honest with himself, he may just seek “thrills” or instant gratification (a.k.a. this “relationship”) to balance the frustration. Thus, a vicious cycle is born.

Also, the stress of his career being stagnant right now might  be causing him to seek comfort through instant gratification. He does not seem to be attempting to build things up for himself. I see no progress. 

What if, in this, “relationship”, he literally does not give a shit?

*** OR, he had already been apathetic BEFORE the relationship, and the inception of the relationship was a product of that!!! ***

As in, SOMETHING may have happened to make David revert to “I don’t give a shit” mode. HMMM.

Onto the theory, David’s “laissez-faire” attitude has always been a prominent topic of interest to me, and most likely for the sole fact that I myself am the complete opposite. But live and let live. I guess i’ve always paid attention to it and now see it as related to this situation.

David has always been laid-back in the past. I think that is his true nature. But in the past he was also balanced by having a career, purpose, and engagement in life. Right now I see no career, nor purpose, nor engagement (and when I say “engagement”, I mean the action, not the term in the marriage sense).

It’s all “laissez-faire”, or, in his own words, “it can mean anything”. He may even be saying one thing to Monique but feeling another (more on this later). 

I am really going to go ahead and quote Cowboy Bebop here, lmao: 

If you love someone, you love yourself. 

If you hate someone, you hate yourself.

I said, “I don’t feel anything towards anyone.”

Bull said, “That is the greatest misfortune on this earth.”

Ok, let’s try to be fair and not too dramatic right away. I’m not saying David has no feelings, for sure he has feelings for his family or loved ones. But could the apathy be the reason why he seems distant from them right now? Or perhaps them distancing themselves from him is CAUSING the apathy? Again, just propositions and not facts. 

For David, the reality of the situation could be that he has convinced himself he has some semblance of “feelings” for Monique, however, of course I attribute these “feelings” to delusions or excuses for the obscene nature of the relationship. 

In which case, it could be argued that, if David is telling himself he does have “feelings” for Monique, it could be a rationalization that he is so desperately wanting to force himself to believe in order to avoid the truth. The truth being that he himself was not strong enough to fight against this situation. He succumbed and maybe asks himself why. I hope he is asking himself why. 

Now back to the neutrality stance. 

💣 [THEORY 43] WHERE/WHAT IS HIS CAREER?

These are also things I have questioned:

- Him taking the cancellation of his movie in stride. Maybe I am just overlooking the complexities of the movie making process and downplaying how hard it is to actually get a movie made. But David has all the time, means and reason to do so. I just don’t see David as the kind of guy to accept obstacles, especially when it concerns his passion projects. So, is there something more to this? 

- David seems to not be aware that his own fans have not received their CD’s. Again, I don’t have all the facts. But what is this? And again, David has all the time and reason to pay attention to his music career but he doesn't? 

- Also, is he working on an album (or anything?) for the future? Maybe he actually is? lmao, I have no idea? What i’m saying is, where is the progress? Where is the drive? 

It is like he is just wandering around, an aimless, organic vagabond. 

But I really love to listen to David talk about his music. I see his music as a genuine artistic expression coming from him. As an artist and art lover myself, I feel one the best things about art is that is reveals who you truly are.

I think I may make a separate post about this to elaborate, what I’m saying basically is that I feel what he says about his music and music making process are genuine feelings coming from him. It is not just what he says but the way he says these things, it reveals a lot about him, and the reveal is positive. I see a genuine vulnerability. Otherwise, sometimes his statements can come across as loaded with unspoken messages or intentions.

So here are some quotes from David himself on his music making process. I use them because I see them as genuine expressions coming from him. They are not recent, I just am showing them to illustrate the foundations of his laid-back attitude.

- “Why not?” - As an explanation of why he became a musician. Could he also have just said, “why not?” not his “relationship” with Monique? And, when the times comes for him to want to break up (and it WILL happen, right God? RIGHT?), will he also hopefully say, “why not?” ?

- “I don’t like having things explained to me.” - Like social media? hehehe. Like Monique’s social media posts? hehehe. Like how Brad Davidson is scamming your fans? hehehe. 

- “I didn’t want it to feel like work at all.”

- * “It can mean anything for anyone” - What if David is being so liberal that he is giving both Monique and HIMSELF the freedom to have their own reasons for their relationship? And if this were the case, then it is not much of a “RELATIONship”, now is it? 

I said in the first thesis that he deliberately keeps his beliefs vague so that he doesn’t have to take full responsibility for his choices, reasons and actions. As in, if he keeps his intentions open enough, he can displace blame onto others if things go wrong. 

For example, he may dole out some high-minded poo poo on the age gap along these lines: “age is arbitrary and has no meaning. The spirit is what connects” etc. Implying that somehow, SOCIETY and their ~ lack of enlightenment ~ would be what’s really to blame for their animosity towards an age gap relationship. This is all just for the illusion of openness. An illusion to disguise the lack of desire to take responsibility. 

If David wants to say that what he does can mean anything to anyone, then I want say this relationship means nothing to everyone.

This theory could easily be challenged by the notion that, if David were really in this neutral state, then he may try to assuage himself by seeking thrills. So, could the age gap component of the relationship be seen as a potential thrill for him? (UGH, sorry). And I guess I can’t ignore the physical component of the relationship, which not only appeals to his ego but must of course remind him of his younger, more reckless self (I am really sorry). To me, it connects, but others may see it differently. 

💣 [THEORY 44] *** I propose a single massive difference between Gillovny and Davinique. And to be fair to David, this is not fully in his control:

Gillian could not bring herself to trust David completely (due to his reputation and her own insecurities), but Monique trusts him completely.

And maybe Monique trusted him completely from the start? Maybe it is as simple as she may not be fully informed of his reputation? Is she just really enamoured? Or is she simply not old or experienced enough to see a person as a complex being with flaws. Maybe David is lying to her about his flaws. He lies to himself about his flaws 😇.

(Thank you to a user, who wishes for their identity to remain private, that proposed this amazing theory to me. I love getting ideas like this that I would never have come up with myself.)

Could it all be as simple as a personality difference between Gillian and Monique? I always saw one conflict between Gillian and David being her excessive worrying/insecurity clashing with his excessive laidbackness/cockiness. 

So, if Monique is more in line with David’s attitude, then he may feel relieved that this conflict that was so prominent between him and Gillian is taken care of. 

But that is not really my focus with this theory. 

This theory at least clears a lot of smoke for me. Part of the pain of this situation was, for me, imagining David hurting Gillian very badly (when she was already potentially very insecure about their relationship) over some nonsense “relationship” with Monique, but what if it really, truly, and literally, Monique means nothing to David. However, this would imply that David was the one to betray Gillian first by getting involved with Monique and I actually do not believe this was the case. 

On that subject, the next theory will explain:

💣 [THEORY 45] Who, between David and Gillian, performed the fatal action that was Gillovny’s undoing? 

Could the final blow actually have been enacted by Gillian? and... intentionally??

I know the common theory is that this is all David’s fault. But what if Gillian dumped David or pushed him away prematurely out of her own suspicions and misconceptions that stemmed from her insecurity of being involved with him?

💣 [THEORY 46] Davinique in the wild?

Could David’s “relationship” actually have most of it’s meaning in Monique’s head, and not David’s? (contrary to what I proposed in the first thesis.)

I propose this because, looking at the beach pictures, David is not paying attention to Monique. 

I know they are just pictures, a single fraction of a single second in time. And I am probably just seeing what I want to see. 

But I was not expecting that level of non-acknowledgment between them? Did they know they were being photographed? (Personally, I don’t think they knew because neither of them, especially Monique, is looking into the camera. Nobody from the group seems to notice the camera either). So, if they were not aware they were being photographed, do we finally have evidence of Davinique in the wild?

I just really want to believe this for now. I was expecting to be hurt by the pics but noticing these small subtleties actually made me feel better. 

[Some random thoughts on the beach pictures]

- This is an objective observation: good for Monique for being in shape, but the fact that she has a masculine body frame (square torso) that is also quite built up is not helping me deny my theory that David is enjoying having sex with himself. (i’M SORRY!!!)

- I just couldn’t contain myself at seeing an image I see very commonly at my local lake: a group is separated in two, with the adults on supervision in the back, fully clothed, wearing hats, sitting in lawn chairs and talking amongst themselves. Meanwhile the kids are sprawled out, enjoying the sun, and playing with the dog. ooooh boy David what is this shit lmfao. 

Thank you, anyone who reads this!