#trust is very important to dazai and is one of the aspects of human emotion that he can fully grasp

[lotus-pear]

bsd fic authors i understand yalls pain SO well right now why is it so fucking HARD to write dazai. like i have a whole fucking spreadsheet dedicated to tireless analysis i have done on my part so i can accurately characterize him but he is such an unpredictable and morally gray character that it's hard knowing his limits and boundaries and where he draws the line for himself.

[along-came-atsushi]

BSD Mayoi’s Tarot Cards

I really liked BSD Mayoi’s approach to the tarot card theme and the beautiful artwork they put in there. Therefore, I decided to take a closer look at their meanings and to see if it fits with the chosen character.

All used cards belong to the Major Arcana tarot cards. The Major Arcana represent life lessons, karmic influences and big archetypical themes that influence a person’s life and the journey of their soul. They are the symbol of human consciousness and the key to life lessons. The Major Arcana include 21 numbered cards, starting with The Fool as the number 0. A Major Arcana in a tarot reading means that the person must reflect on the life lessons or that they are currently experiencing this time.

The tarot cards’ meanings and interpretations depend on and changes whether it’s upright or reversed. That means every card has positive (upright) and negative (reversed) meanings and their interpretations are heavily based on context. For example, The Fool in a reversed (negative) interpretation doesn’t simply mean that the person who gets the tarot reading is stupid, but that they might be in a point in their life where they have to decide something important and are reluctant to do so. Justice in an upright (positive) interpretation doesn’t simply mean that the person is righteous, and so on.

Besides their general meaning, the tarot cards also have a meaning for specific aspects of human life: health, spirituality, love and relationships, career and money. For this meta I’m focusing only on their general meaning.

  I’m going to show and quote the character’s reaction to their assigned tarot cards first, then describe the card’s design, explain their general meaning and lastly compare it to the character’s personality, relationships and ability. The original cards’ description is based on Rider-Waite’s “Pictorial Key to the Tarot” card guide and can vary with other cards’ designs. Please note that Mayoi has either left out or changed some elements in favor of their artistic freedom.

All information in this meta has been gathered from my research of several internet sites. I really had fun with the way I wrote this meta, so if we’ll ever get more characters as tarot cards, I’d very much like to continue this series.

[Beware: Spoilers for the Hunting Dogs/Decay of Angels Arc!]

Atsushi – The Fool

Memo:

Nakajima Atsushi as The Fool tarot card. While initially surprised by the name of his card, after learning of its interpretations, he seems to be deeply moved as he looks back on his past.

  Quotes: - “The name of this card, ‘The Fool’, surprised me at first, but I see it has positive meanings too! I'm kind of relieved...” - “It also stands for ‘freedom’. Hm... Compared to my old self, I can learn a lot of things, everyone from the Agency is by my side... and I can decide my own path...”.

  Description:

The Fool usually gazes at the sky and the universe. Atsushi’s gaze is turned towards the viewer, probably a design decision. But he has his head lifted up towards the sky, still implying the original direction of The Fool’s gaze.

He carries his bag with a branch that rests on his shoulder and the bag contains all the things that he needs. Since it’s not big, it could mean that he either doesn’t need much or that he doesn’t own much to begin with. The white rose on his bag symbolizes purity and innocence. The white dog to his feet symbolizes loyalty and protection.

Normally, The Fool is seen to be at the edge of a cliff, unaware that he could fall into the unknown. Behind him is a mountain, symbolizing the challenges that are about to come. But he doesn’t care about these things right now, he’s focused on starting his journey and to learn the lessons that he came to learn.

  Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: (new) beginnings, freedom/free-spirited, adventure, travel, originality, innocence, foolishness, carelessness, idealism, youth, spontaneity, lack of commitment.

- REVERSED: recklessness/risk-taking, carelessness, negligence, stupidity, distraction, apathy, irrationality, lack of fun/hope/faith, holding back.

Atsushi’s reaction at the meaning of his card is not surprising, since the word “fool” is not associated with positive meanings. The Fool in tarot is interpreted as the protagonist of a story and the Major Arcana is the path he must take, which is also called “The Fool’s Journey”. Along his way he meets new teachers and new life lessons and unveils the great mysteries of life. He eventually completes his journey reaching The World card.

Despite its name, The Fool is generally a positive card and the change it brings are seen as a welcome one. It indicates new beginnings, which means that someone is on the start of an exciting and unexpected adventure. On this adventure, The Fool may take a leap of faith, but will grow through this as a result. The adventure may not only be mental, but also physical, where The Fool has to travel to a place they’ve never been before.

Reversed, The Fool still means new beginnings, but it can signify that the person is reluctant to start their adventure or to jump into their new experience. It can indicate that the person is living in the moment, but that they behave recklessly towards others in their excitement.

~ ~ ~

This fits Atsushi, since he is the protagonist of BSD’s main story and his journey starts without him knowing about all the things that are about to come (positive and negative).

Atsushi’s past experiences in the orphanage as well as his isolated upbringing make him somewhat unaware and naïve about the world he lives in and its rules. He is unsure in his own capabilities and hesitates to take a new path unfolding before him (e.g., him joining the ADA). The new beginnings, as well as the dog symbolizing loyalty and protection could be a give and take symbolization for Atsushi. Meeting several characters in his life (especially the ADA members) offers him a new beginning, but he also stands in as a new beginning for these characters.

He is loyal and protective towards people who are important to him, but they also believe in him and are loyal and protective towards him, too. During his journey he takes a leap of faith in trusting in characters that were on the antagonizing side at first (Lucy, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald) and as a result, he grows through these interactions.

If possible, he likes to avoid doing tasks alone due to his lack of self-confidence and experience, which is shown when he questions himself, feels distressed or tries to avoid tough situations. Whenever the situation forces him to rely on himself (e.g., infiltrating Moby Dick) he comes out of it having learned a new lesson. His journey doesn’t only take place in his mind, but he has also physically traveled to a place where he has never been before (e.g., Standard Island).

Negative memories and experiences are something that hold him back throughout the story and make him hesitant in his decisions (e.g., the headmaster’s voice in his mind). He acts recklessly and careless in stressful situations, which causes him to tap into other characters’ traps (e.g., when he was under Q’s curse). During these situations he is not able to move on on his own and needs the help of others (e.g., Dazai scolding him). But he slowly realizes that he is now free from those past circumstances. He embraces the good things in his life and with this gradually moves on from his past.

  Yosano – The Empress

Memo:

Yosano Akiko as The Empress tarot card. While she is not particularly interested in the divination aspect of tarot, she seems to have noticed the similarities between herself and The Empress.

  Quotes: - “Tarot, yes... I am not at all interested in the overly uncertain aspects of divination, but The Empress has a rather beautiful design. I like it.” - “Apparently, The Empress is associated with vitality. Fufu, ‘vitality’. I like the sound of that.” - “I can only treat humans. And even then, I cannot treat all humans. I cannot control the vitality of the land like The Empress. Even so, I must do what I can.”

  Description:

The Empress sits on a throne as representation of her dominion over growing things. She wields a scepter with her left hand, which represents her power over life. A shield is placed at her feet, the eagle on it is the heraldic emblem of the Holy Roman Empire. She wears a crown with stars, showing her connection to the mystical realm and the cycles of the natural world (usually there are twelve stars, symbolizing the twelve months of the year and the twelve planets).

Golden wheat grows in the foreground, framing her figure and indicating the abundance of harvest. The background is adorned with mountains, instead of a forest as in the original design. The depiction of nature in The Empress’ card signifies her connection with Mother Earth and life itself. She rejuvenates herself by the energy of nature.

The figure of The Empress is often depicted as a pregnant woman, her robe is patterned with pomegranates, the symbol of fertility. She is also mostly adorned with the symbol of Venus (that is sometimes shown on the shield instead of the eagle), which is the epitome of love, creativity, fertility, beauty and grace.

  Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: Pregnancy, fertility, motherhood, sensuality, nurturing, creativity, beauty, femininity, nature, harmony, art, abundance.

- REVERSED: Insecurity, infertility, lack of confidence, lack of growth, overbearing tendencies, disharmony, negligence, creative block, dependence on others.

The Empress represents femininity and motherhood. Parents-to-be (mothers as well as fathers) who receive this card are encouraged to build on their communication with their children and to show them their nurturing side. However, even if the person is not a parent The Empress’ message stays the same.

It tells you to embrace your softer side and to listen to your emotions and intuition. People, especially those in need of empathy and compassion, will be drawn to you and you will be able to provide them with your nurturing. Not only does The Empress represent the creation of life, but also of romance, art or business. She symbolizes the emergence of an idea and the need to be receptive to change.

When The Empress appears reversed it tells you to embrace your feminine qualities. This also applies to men, as it is believed in tarot that all humans have masculine and feminine energies that need to be brought into balance. It signifies that a person may have been suppressing or neglecting their feminine side that needs to be embraced.

A person may be too focused on the material and mental aspects of their life and has disregarded the emotional and spiritual aspects. They may be putting the needs of others before their own or they may feel emotionally overwhelmed, so that they neglect the people important to them. It is advised to shift your focus in these situations and to ground yourself to get back to your inner balance.

~ ~ ~

Yosano is not associated with pregnancy or motherhood per se (since she is not a mother), but her role as a doctor and her ability can be interpreted symbolically in that way. She “creates” life or “gives birth” by bringing people back to life. She “nurtures” life by healing severe wounds.

This fits with her story arc, because she started her medical career already in her childhood. What began as a forced work during the war, turned out be a good blessing at first. The soldiers were in awe with her and her restoring ability, they were thankful and drawn to her nurturing side.

However, this turned out to be seen as the exact opposite, when the soldiers gradually experienced more trauma due to them being brought back to life over and over again. The same people now behaved hostile towards Yosano, involuntarily earning her the title “the angel of death”.

This trauma and abuse led to Yosano suffering herself, because she was forced to put the need of others before her own. This then led to her despising her own life and ability. She became visibly miserable and just a shell of who she once was, believing that she only brought demise to other people.

It was only when Fukuzawa and Ranpo found her that she started to gain hope and strength, because she was told that they were not interested in her ability, but in her kindness for others.This was the start for Yosano to realize that it’s not her supernatural ability alone, but also her mind and intentions that can help people, and marks the start of her career as the ADA’s doctor (even without her ability she is still a doctor and even without that she still values life and wants to save it).

Through her experiences she now knows the limits of her own abilities (both her supernatural ability and her abilities as a doctor), which can be seen in her reaction to her card. She still hasn’t given up on her work and duty, despite her negative memories. She won’t be losing track of herself, because she now has people at her side who truly care for her.

  Kenji – The Chariot

Memo:

Miyazawa Kenji as The Chariot tarot card. He seems very interested in the illustrations of the brave horses and their chariot. The two horses depicted on the card remind him of his days back in Ihatov.

  Quotes: - “The Chariot looks so valiant! And it has two horses! I bet they're good horses.” - “Apparently, one of the meanings of The Chariot is ‘the ability to take action’. Hmm~, I can't really tell, but what do you think? Do I have that?” - “I think it would be so fun if I could do my detective work with horses like the boy on this card! If I worked with horses, I feel like I'd be able to do a lot more!”

  Description:

Kenji is depicted as armored warrior. His laurel crown (although heavily altered in design) symbolize victory, success and spiritual evolution. The figure of The Chariot usually stands tall inside his chariot. In Kenji’s case that has been upgraded and exaggerated to him standing with one foot on the foreside and pointing with one finger ahead. A heavy indication of taking action and moving forward.

In front of the chariot are two horses, which represent positive and negative opposing forces and duality. The two horses pull in different and opposing directions, yet The Chariot uses his willpower and sheer resolve to move them in the direction that he wants. He doesn’t need to hold reins to move, instead he controls it through the strength of his will and mind.

In the original card’s design, the armor of The Chariot is decorated with crescent moons, which represent what is coming into being, a tunic with a square, representing the strength of will and other alchemical symbols that are a representation of spiritual transformation.

The canopy above his head is adorned with six pointed stars that indicate his connection to the celestial world and the divine will. Instead of horses, two sphinxes are in the foreground. A city with a large river can be seen behind The Chariot, symbolizing the need to be in flow with the rhythm of life while charging ahead towards your goals.

  Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: victory, overcoming obstacles, success, ambition, determination/willpower, control, self-discipline, hard work and focus, action.

- REVERSED: forcefulness, lack of direction, lack of self-control, powerlessness, aggression, coercion, being blocked by obstacles, opposition.

The Chariot upright represents overcoming obstacles through determination, focus and willpower. The person may feel motivated, ambitious and in control, therefore they are encouraged to go for what they want. There may be challenges and obstacles in The Chariot’s path, but if you stay focused and believe in your own abilities, you will be able to overcome these. The Chariot can also represent travel, as it is a means of transportation.

People who receive this card may feel like they are fighting a battle and because of that act defensively or aggressively to hide that they are emotionally vulnerable at the moment. In this case, you are encouraged to find balance between the heart and the mind. The Chariot also indicates success in sports and competitions.

The Chariot reversed means that a person may feel powerless and lack direction and confidence. They may feel put upon by others or the circumstances in their life. This can lead to anger and frustration as well as uncontrolled aggression. The Chariot advises you that you need to take control of your own destiny and to not let outside forces determine your path.

It indicates that you need to set boundaries and stick to them and to be clear about the time and resources you are willing to dedicate to others. If people in your life become too needy and demanding the person is advised to take back their own power.

~ ~ ~

Kenji starts his story by moving from the land to the city. His decision to leave his family and village, live in the city and to work for the ADA can be interpreted as him moving forward in a physical and spiritual sense. He is willing to challenge his new surroundings and grows through this as a result.

He has shown to be very confident in himself and his abilities, being the most optimistic of the group and to always look on the positive side of things. Tough situations do not worry him much, because he believes the outcome will work out just fine.This determination also transfers to other characters when they are with him and should they find themselves in a distressed situation (e.g., when he had his mission with Atsushi who was constantly worried about how Kenji does his work).

Being able to control something with his pure willpower could also be interpreted as an allusion to his supernatural ability that allows him to lift up cars or tear down stone walls on a whim. However, Kenji’s ability relies on the fact that he needs to be hungry in order to use it and the ADA members also advise to not disturb him when he is sleeping, because he will get irritated and aggressive in that state. 

Kenji has been shown to not only be able to get over physical obstacles, thanks to his ability (e.g., bringing Fukuzawa out of the hospital). He is also able to encourage his peers to get over mental obstacles (e.g., his speech to the ADA when they flee from the HD).

  Kunikida – Justice

Memo:

Kunikida Doppo as the Justice tarot card. Having always stood for justice and ideals, Kunikida has a favorable impression of this card.

  Quotes: - “Justice... What a well-named card. The sword and scale illustrations aren't bad either.” - “I have no desire to sit on a throne, but I value fairness, which is one of the meanings this card holds. I want to uphold this as I carry out my Agency duties.”

  Description:

Kunikida as the figure of Justice sits on a throne, holding a sword in his right hand and scales in his left hand. The sword points upwards, symbolizing a firm and final decision. Its double-edged blade is a reminder that our actions always carry consequences. The scales show that intuition must always balance logic and are a symbol of impartiality.

He wears a crown with a small square on it, a representation of well-ordered thoughts. His white shoes looking from underneath his robe also symbolize that our actions have spiritual consequences.

The figure of Justice sometimes is depicted in front of a loosely hung purple veil, which signifies compassion. Two pillars frame the figure, symbolizing balance, law and structure.

  Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: justice, karmic justice, consequences, legal disputes, law, truth, honesty, integrity, cause and effect, life lessons, fairness.

- REVERSED: injustice, karmic retribution, dishonesty, corruption, lack of accountability, dishonesty, unfairness, karmic avoidance.

In an upright context, the Justice tarot card is a representation of karmic justice, legal matters, cause and effect. Justice symbolizes truth and integrity and can imply that a person may feel the urge to speak out the truth. This person values honesty and integrity in others, too.

Justice also relates to balance and signifies that an event may occur that is beyond a person’s control or their own making. In these moments Justice encourages the person to keep themself level-headed as the events unfold. It also signifies that a person is about to make a choice and that they are currently weighing all their options. In legal matters, this card shows that the outcome will be a fair and balanced result.

Reversed, Justice means injustice and the avoidance of karmic justice. It symbolizes that a person has been treated unjustly or that they are in a situation where they are being affected unfairly by the choices and actions of others. The person may feel victimized or blamed for something that isn’t their fault. Justice reminds the person to still keep their balance. If the person created the situation themself, it is advised to think about how they can react to that situation. It also signifies that the person must be accountable, if they created the situation by bad choices and actions. This means that the person should not blame others and to be more self-aware.

It can also symbolize dishonesty and that a person should not lie their way out of something or try to justify it. The person may also have hardline views in their life and prejudices the people around them. In legal matters, Justice indicates that the result will be one of injustice or that the outcome may not what the person has hoped for.

~ ~ ~

Kunikida is practically the personification of justice of all of the ADA members and justice is also something that he has been shown to think about a lot. He takes his work very professional and serious and tries to bring every case to a fair result. If he isn’t able to save people, he calls out the unfairness of the situation (e.g. when he tried to save the abducted victims in the Azure Messenger case.) This shows that he feels responsible and guilty even for events that were out of his control.

He seems to try to balance his own life by sticking to his written ideals and calls others out shouldn’t they behave in the same way (e.g. mostly seen when Dazai is neglecting his work). If he notices that people are distressed during a bad situation, he reminds them to keep their balance or he tells them to think about what they can do (e.g. to Atsushi when the Black Lizard attacked the ADA office). But he also reminds himself about these things (e.g., seen when he was told by Jouno that he felt relieved about the ADA getting caught and with this his ideals falling apart. But then he got back to his knees and defended the ADA, so that they could escape.)

When Kunikida meets new people, he keeps up his guard and distance at first, and holds prejudices about them (e.g. when he met Dazai, Atsushi and Kyouka). This can lead to him having a wrong first impression of people (negative and positive) and with this easily fall into traps (e.g., when he did not realize that Sasaki was the Azure Messenger).

This implies that he first weighs to be careful about whom he trusts (in this case a new colleague), and changes his mind about them later, once they have proven to be trustworthy.

  Tanizaki – Temperance

Memo:

Tanizaki Junichiro as the Temperance tarot card. While he initially tilted his head at the card's rather strange design, he faces its mystical aura head-on. He seems to have interpreted the card's meaning in his own way.

Quotes: - “The person on this card is pouring liquid from one cup into another... What on earth for?” - “So, Temperance also means ‘harmony’. Hm, am I harmonic? Oh, sometimes I sort things out when there's a commotion at the office... so I guess I am?” - “Hmm, so it means ‘devotion’ too... The only person I'm devoted to is Naomi. To me, Naomi is irreplaceable.”

  Description:

Tanizaki balances himself with one foot on land, representing the need to stay grounded and the other in the water, representing the need to be in flow. The water he pours between two cups are the symbol of the flow and alchemy of life. This was a standard symbol of Temperance as one of the cardinal virtues, as it represents the dilution of wine with water.

In many decks, the figure of Temperance is depicted as winged angel, but instead we see two feathers, probably meant as surrogate of the angel’s wings. The background shows a path leading to a mountain with a golden crown on top, but this depiction has been changed in Tanizaki’s card and the golden crown rests upon his own head instead. The crown is a symbol of taking the higher path and staying true to one’s meaning and purpose in life.

  Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: Balance, peace, patience, moderation, inner calm, perspective, tranquility, harmonious relationships, soulmates, purpose.

- REVERSED: Imbalance, self-indulgence, excess, clashing, lack of perspective, discord, antagonism, recklessness, hastiness, self-healing, re-alignment.

Upright, Temperance indicates that a person has found their inner calm and peace. They have a good perspective on things and care about harmonious relationships. It signifies feeling content and having found tranquility. Temperance shows that a person is in touch with who they are inside and what they value.

They have their own moral compass and have learned not to get dragged into other people’s conflicts. Minor issues won’t knock them off balance, instead they adapt to the situation with a clear mind and a calm heart. Figuring out your aspirations and your goals is easier for people who get this card in their readings.

In a reversed position, Temperance means imbalance. It signifies that a person behaves in a reckless manner. The person may have lost touch with their inner calm and peace, which leads to them seeking gratification in harmful and risky ways (like alcohol, drug use or gambling).

It can also mean that the person has a lack of harmony with the people in their life and due to this the person may lash out to people close to them, which then causes them to get dragged into drama. In these situations, it is advised to take a step back and look at how you are behaving, because you may lack to see the bigger picture. Examining the root causes and working to resolve them is the way back to your inner calm and peace.

~ ~ ~

Tanizaki appears to be one of the calmest people in the ADA. He does not get into quarrels with others, even if he is wary or hesitant about their ideas (e.g., giving in to Naomi’s demands and shenanigans, hesitating and getting tricked by Dazai to participate in Atsushi’s entrance exam).

Although, he is nervous on missions, he still takes them on with a clear mind and a professional approach. Many missions are entrusted to him alone, showing that people know that he can handle the situation just well.

His decision to work for the ADA could imply that he has found his goal and his purpose in life. His dedication to Naomi shows that he is patient and calm, and that he cares deeply for a harmonious relationship between them. Keeping her safe above all things indicates that he’s sees it as his purpose in his life, too.

However, Naomi is also his biggest weak point. Whenever she is in danger or hurt, Tanizaki gets knocked off his balance and inner calm. These situations make him hastily jump into actions and due to this he becomes an easy target for others (e.g., when he attacked Higuchi out of anger, he didn’t notice Akutagawa; when he was about to kill Mori to save Fukuzawa, he tapped into Kouyou’s trap).

Even though this does not only concern Naomi’s well-being, as he has also been shown to make rush conclusions, if other people he cares about are in danger or in a predicament (e.g., when Fukuzawa was about to die due to cannibalism; offering to join PM as exchange instead of Yosano). His work as a detective on this aspect lets him also get regularly dragged into other people’s drama, either the drama of clients or the drama of other ADA members.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sources: www.biddytarot.com | www.thetarotguide.com | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_Arcana

[hamliet]

Can I read your opinion about how important Akutagawa and Atsushi's interactions are for their own character development/grow? Also Do you think they could develop subtle romantic feelings for each other?

Hello! So one of my favorite aspects of their relationship is indeed how they challenge each other to grow. I wrote about this a little bit in my shipping post here, and @linkspooky​ wrote about it in her metas on Akutagawa’s arc and Atsushi’s arc. 

tl;dr: they need each other to grow. They are very much two sides of the same coin, yin and yang. 

Akutagawa needs Atsushi to challenge him on his view of life, so that he can come to appreciate that human life has value. Because Akutagawa’s lashing out and murder is similar to Dazai’s previous antics in the mafia. He doesn’t value life because no one has ever valued his. He grew up a dog of the streets, and we know from the short story “The Heartless Cur” that everyone considered Akutagawa “inhuman” as a street child. Yet, the other children depended on him (a Chuuya/Sheep parallel). And still they were killed, and brutally so, and then Dazai killed those who killed them to recruit Akutagawa. All Akutagawa has ever known is people killing the weak to assert their right to live. Kill or be killed. And if no one’s life matters, then he doesn’t have to face the painful, vulnerable, childlike part of him still asking why his life didn’t matter as a child on the streets, why people wrote him off as a heartless cur, why he isn’t enough. If life is trivial, then Dazai leaving him hurts less than it would if Akutagawa accepted that he mattered and what Dazai did was wrong. 

But again, as Link wrote in her meta, Atsushi challenges this. He thinks life matters. Yet, Atsushi needs Akutagawa to challenge him as well, and honestly I think Akutagawa understands Atsushi better than Atsushi understands him at this point in time (to be fair, there are reasons for that). He’s the one who let Atsushi use his cloak and Rashomon, after all. 

Atsushi and Dazai both put each other on pedestals of sorts. Dazai views Atsushi as a second chance, but this is flawed, because Akutagawa is also an orphan literally asking to be saved and by him. Atsushi sees Dazai rightly as the man who saved him, but needs to comprehend that Dazai is really, really flawed. (I say this as someone who loves both characters.) Atsushi’s hatred of Akutagawa, in addition to like, being fairly justified in some sense, is also a way of protecting himself from this reality, and a way of assigning himself worth. Because Atsushi does value life, but he doesn’t really value his own. He’s constantly hurting himself to protect others, but to the point where I side-eye. And he’s noted to dislike himself, yet he still wants to live. If Dazai is good and thinks he has potential and worth, then it’s fine for Atsushi to live. That’s his logic. But it’s fine fo him to live regardless. 

(this sounds like i want dazai to go down or something; i don’t. i love his mentee relationship with atsushi; i just want it to be challenged so it can grow and find and even surer foundation of true understanding, knowing the worst of somebody, and still loving them)

As for romantic feelings... canon or fanfic?

The answer to both is that yes I think it’s possible. In terms of canon, though, I don’t believe it will go that way. I don’t think BSD does romance very much, but I think Kyouka and Atsushi might end up together like... in a timeskip epilogue. That’s not a commentary on where I’d like it to go or anything, but merely what I think the story has laid groundwork for. 

That said, I think shin soukoku is endgame, even if platonically. The main emotional energy of the series is between the two of them, their relationships with Dazai, and original soukoku. 

(For an explanaton of the term ‘emotional energy,’ see here.) Atsushi and Akutagawa’s partnership, their conflicts and team ups and growth towards understanding each other, plus as they are both portrayed as the future of Yokohama... that is what the story rests on. Every single arc thus far has ended with them. Their fight over Kyouka in the Port Mafia Arc, the team up against Fitzgerald, the team up against Pushkin, and this arc will surely end with them too. 

In the end, they will probably understand each other, trust each other, like soukoku but with even more unity between them (and quite likely in the same organization, imo. If Soukoku began in the Port Mafia and continues with them split between the AMA and PM, I’m guessing Shin Soukoku will follow the reverse trajectory and begin with them split between the AMA and PM and end with them both in the AMA. The mafia is too toxic for Akutagawa). 

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Oda and Dazai!

So this got…… kinda long… and probably strayed from the ask meme and is more of like a character study lmao whoOPS I’m so sorry. But thank you for the ask xD

Character Writing Meme

Oda

So in canon, Oda never smiles, like ever; he definitely has a broad array of emotions, for sure, but he doesn’t let either positive or negative ones outwardly show very much except in extreme situations ahaha. But it’s natural instinct for me to describe characters as smiling softly/a little bit, or frowning or whatnot, so I can’t help but write Oda like that as well, because I feel like writing him would get boring quickly if his expressions were never described like I do for others and if he wasn’t the pov character where you had his inner thoughts/emotions to make up for that (the original Dark Era novel is in his point of view, and it really helps you to get into his thoughts/emotions, some of which the anime carried over, so that makes his rarely-changing expression not as bothersome). I try to remind myself to keep it as lowkey as possible though (again, talking about fics not in his pov); he probably realistically has to smile sometimes, but I make sure never to overdo it and to keep that sort of amusingly nonchalant/unfazed outward personality Oda has at the same time.

When around Dazai, Oda is pretty much the only person who will let him go off on one of his crazy, dramatic, depressing tangents about life/death and wanting to die and all that, deal with that loopiness that is Dazai. In other words, he won’t ignore him or admonish him for acting like that, which nearly everyone else in the series who Dazai interacts with does. The only time Oda will interfere is if Dazai is directly putting himself in a harmful situation, but when he’s just talking, he’ll let him get it all out. I haven’t actually written much involving this aspect of him, but this is important about Oda when he and Dazai are together, that Oda lets Dazai be himself and lets him get out all his extremely negative emotions instead of forcing him to bottle them up even more, which is a good thing for Dazai to have. In this way, Oda understands Dazai better than anyone else in the entire series, but the key is that he isn’t aware how much he does (because Oda is so damn humble), and so Oda never takes further steps to help out Dazai, as good as letting him talk things out is. In short, Oda cares about Dazai (most likely his fatherly instincts showing through) and worries about him unconsciously, and is content to let Dazai be his strange self when he’s with him, letting him do his thing as long as he’s not actually harming himself, which is why they get along so well… but at the same time Oda will never try to actively play counselor/therapist with Dazai to attempt to help him more permanently, because he doesn’t think he can/isn’t brave enough to/just doesn’t really think to do so. Which leads me to…

…Oda is selfish to a degree, because he’s human, and selfishness is human nature. I’m only really talking about the situation with the kids, though. Canonically, after the kids were killed, Oda went on a suicide mission for the sake of revenge for the kids, abandoning Dazai, who still desperately needed and wanted him, and throwing aside any small chance of building a happy life back up for himself and eventually getting away from the mafia and fulfilling his dream of becoming a writer, and possibly taking Dazai with him and making him happier than he is now at the ADA. In that moment, all logic shut down inside of him, and he acted on his instincts, knowing he was going to die, all because he felt like he didn’t care about anything anymore, for revenge that was more for himself than the kids who didn’t even know they were being avenged, obviously. Of course I’m not entirely blaming Oda or trying to intentionally shit on him (I love him lmao), and his mental state then is completely understandable, but it still stands that he acted on selfish motives when he did what he did and got himself killed from it. He made a huge mistake leaving Dazai behind, breaking his heart and taking his best friend in the world away from him, and I’m sure Oda realized that once Dazai showed up, realized that there was so much he still needed to do for Dazai that he never had done and never could anymore then, and realized how much it hurt him too because of how much he truly cared about Dazai. When I wrote his death scene from his own pov, that’s what I wanted to show, him realizing how selfish he had been by doing this to Dazai. Because as much as Oda loves Dazai, he loves those kids more, not only because of just him loving kids in general, but also because taking care of those kids in particular he associates directly with his own “redemption” from his previous life as an assassin, so once they’re killed, he decides that everything is over, gives up, because their deaths mean that he failed in trying to turn over a new leaf, so he goes back to killing and decides to end it all, forgetting Dazai completely. Again, I’m not blaming his mentality, not blaming Oda for being so human, but that’s basically what happened, and it was selfish. So writing anything post-bombing, I think about this a lot; Oda is a genuinely kind and loving person, there’s no doubt about it, and he wants only the best for Dazai and the kids for their own sakes, but at the same time, if he feels like his morals/beliefs are trampled on/destroyed in any way so that he can’t uphold them anymore, he’s just done, and nothing else and no one else matters in his mind anymore. Dazai never would have been “saved” by his last words if he hadn’t approached Oda himself, and as good as the ADA is for him, he would be much better there with his best friend who understands him the most, if Oda hadn’t decided to get himself offed instead.

Dazai

First and most obviously, Dazai rarely ever lets himself show any part of his emotional side. If anyone tries to question his behavior or things he says worryingly/shows concern for him, he’ll try to brush it off with some lie about him daydreaming about a creative suicide or something. He’s worse about this overdramatic goofiness in ADA-era, despite being in a better setting, because he was more inclined to get gloomier/more depressing/deeper into his bleak mind with Oda, who didn’t mind any of his behavior. Imo Dazai is of the opinion that no one in the ADA really cares about what’s going on in his mind/his emotions like Oda did, which unfortunately most of them give the impression of (even if they don’t mean it, they really need to get better about it… looking at u, Kunikida), so he acts even more over-the-top in order to annoy them even more, so there’s even less of a chance for them to worry about him, ever. He’s not comfortable sharing how he really feels with anyone anymore, so he makes sure no one ever wants to ask or wonder (”oh it’s just Dazai being Dazai, as usual”). That being said…

I’m sure there are days when he’s worse, and it’s a lot harder for him to hide it in the ADA. Atsushi obviously is most likely the only person he will ever let himself be somewhat vulnerable around now, and Atsushi will try to help him but not push him too much. So Dazai might share some things, but not too much; probably not until he and Atsushi have been with each other for a long time. Obviously, anything to do with Oda will make it hard for Dazai to retain his goofy facade, particularly Oda’s birthday and the anniversary of his death, among other, random days.

Realted to the above, Dazai never cries imo; the most he will ever allow himself is for his eyes to get barely heated or watery, and of course only when he’s alone. The only time I believe he ever full-on cried was after Oda’s death.

To Dazai, Atsushi represents Oda’s legacy, and in some ways he tries to guide Atsushi in the way that he felt like Oda guided his kids, although I’m sure that he knows he isn’t nearly as good enough for that as Oda was. But Atsushi is definitely extremely important to Dazai for so many reasons, and I’m sure he would definitely do anything to keep him safe, and genuinely be terrified if he was in serious danger.

I believe that Dazai respects Kunikida highly despite how much he trolls him, because Kunikida is basically a mix of Oda and Ango, personality-wise and morals-wise. Behind Atsushi, he’s the person Dazai cares about the most in the present time, as much as he doesn’t show it.

Similarly, imo Dazai highly respects Fukuzawa for how he runs the ADA, and for his morals and how welcoming he is to new members, which, surprise surprise, probably also reminds Dazai of Oda. But there’s another component to it, and that is how Fukuzawa is versus how Dazai’s old boss, Mori, was. It’s obvious that Mori was emotionally and mentally abusive and very unhealthy for Dazai, but I don’t think Dazai himself really felt that horror until Mori “betrayed” him by setting things up so that Oda would be led into death, and then refused to help save his life; Fukuzawa, on the other hand, values every single life of his subordinates, whereas Mori would gladly sacrifice anyone for the sake of the entire organization (and himself), and I think that difference is something that was foreign to Dazai and hard for him to trust at first, but is now something he wholeheartedly appreciates and respects about Fukuzawa. That’s my headcanon, at least, and something I think about with those two (and thinking in general about other major differences in how the ADA operates versus what Dazai just took for granted in the mafia, and how little things might still take him off-guard in the ADA even now).