i've been trying very hard to be brave
prompt: tortured for information, "hit them harder"
whumpee: peter sutherland
fandom: the night agent
here's something different for a change :) it's tentatively part 1 with a second bit later this month but i cannot make any promises lol. title from st. cecilia's by animal flag
Peter Sutherland is utterly alone. He is in the middle of the desert, in the middle of the night, and there is absolutely nothing around him. No movement, no light. Just him and the stars.
He wishes he knew what he was doing here. He’d been told to come here, and that is all that he knows.
He’s beginning to wonder why he’d listened. Why he’s here, in a more general sense.
He isn’t sure that he wants this.
He doesn’t want to be alone.
A sound - far off, but like a gunshot in the silence. An engine.
At least something’s going to happen, now.
Headlights appear on the horizon, blinding and high up. A military vehicle, maybe.
They hadn’t said anything about the military, but he figures he should’ve guessed.
He approaches the vehicle, waves, then wonders whether it’s stupid to wave in a situation like this.
The vehicle stops. Peter goes to open the door, but it swings open from the inside before he grabs the handle. A few men get out, and he tries to greet them, but they don’t say anything.
His skin starts to crawl. Something is wrong.
But it’s too late, and there’s nowhere to run.
Someone throws a cloth bag over his head and ties a thick rope around his wrists, and then he’s being manhandled into the vehicle and can do little more than wriggle around in the grips of his captors.
He tries to talk to them, at first. But no one says a word. He falls silent and tries to keep track of where they’re going, counting left and right turns, but the journey drags on forever and in total silence and he’s fucking afraid, and at some point he just stops paying attention.
After an eternity, the vehicle stops. Dead silence. Hands pull him out of his seat and shove him down. He hits the ground hard, unable to break his fall. His body sinks slightly into soft sand that does very little to lessen the impact.
He’s hauled to his feet and dragged along, stumbling and desperately trying to keep to his feet. They walk for a long time. It’s cold, and Peter feels numb.
The squeak of a metal door opening. Clattering. Footsteps echoing in a hallway. There are a lot of them, Peter realizes. He’s horribly outnumbered.
He’s forced to sit on what can only be a metal chair. He immediately tries to move it, but nothing happens. It must be bolted to the ground.
A rope around his chest, securing him to the chair. More rope around his ankles. He is clearly not going anywhere anytime soon.
“Who are you,” says a voice, somewhere to his right. There’s a slight accent to the words, but he can’t put his finger on it.
He says nothing. Let me see how much they already know, he thinks.
“I said, who are you.”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
A cold laugh. “You’re not in any position to be asking questions.”
Peter remains silent.
A fist connects with the side of his head. It takes him by surprise, and his neck jerks so violently he swears something cracks.
“My name is Chris.”
Another hit to the other side of his head. “No, it’s not.”
“Why are you asking my name if you already know it?”
He pictures a shrug to fill the silence. Receives a kick to the shin that really fucking hurts.
“Fine. My name is Peter.”
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“What do you want?”
“Whatever you’re willing to give us.”
He really doesn’t like the sound of that.
“Last name?”
“Seems like you already know who I am.”
Another kick, this time to the other shin.
“Answer my questions. Don’t bother saying anything else.”
“Jenkins,” Peter says, like a challenge. He’ll make them fight for every word, if that’s how they want to play.
A punch to the shoulder that feels almost gentle, compared to the other hits he’s received.
“Hit him harder,” he hears a different voice say quietly. It sounds…almost familiar, in a strange way. Peter strains to hear whether it’ll say anything else, but the only thing that happens is that a fist drives into his stomach with such force that he cannot breathe for several seconds.
By the time he can breathe again, his interrogator has already moved on.
“Who do you work for?”
He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t really want to waste his newly-regained ability to breathe properly on responding to a question that the asker surely already knows the answer to.
A punch to the chest, painful and solid but not horrible.
“Who do you work for?”
The question is repeated by several other voices, echoing around him.
“Who do you work for?”
“Who do you work for?”
“Who do you work for?”
“Who do you work for?”
The noise is nearly overwhelming. He doubts that they’d even be able to hear his answer over all of it.
Eventually the echoes die away. His feet are starting to go numb from the rope binding his ankles. He’s long since stopped feeling his hands.
“Once more. Who do you work for?” The singular voice is quiet, now. And very serious.
Footsteps behind him, and then an arm wraps around his neck, not squeezing, not yet, but there. It’s a clear warning.
Peter barely breathes as he forces the words from his mouth. “The United States government.”
The arm disappears. Peter takes a deep breath, the cloth bag sticking to his face so that the breath is not as deep as it otherwise might be.
And then the arm is back, and it is squeezing this time. He chokes and tries in vain to get away, to gain any room at all to breathe.
He’s on the verge of passing out when the pressure stops. He gasps and coughs in the confines of his cloth prison.
There is not enough air. He keeps trying to breathe and it isn’t working properly. He’s on the verge of hyperventilation, panicking and thrashing uselessly against the ropes binding him.
The bag is removed from his head almost gently. He catches a flash of light, mottled colors and shapes that are too bright and too much, and then a blindfold is tied around his head, plunging him into darkness again, but at least he can breathe.
He gulps in air like he is never going to get the chance to breathe again, and eventually, his lungs stop burning and his head stops spinning.
“You will tell us what we want to know now, I think.”
Peter barely even parses the statement, too caught up in the relief of breathing fresh, unobstructed air.
The relief does not last long. They ask another question, and he doesn’t quite hear it, and then a fist drives into his stomach, even harder than before, nearly making him vomit.
The question is repeated - “what part of the government do you work for?” - and Peter answers truthfully. The words taste like bile, like betrayal.
This process continues for an eternity. A question. A brief period of time in which to answer. If he answers, usually nothing happens. Sometimes they smack him, but nothing more. If he doesn’t answer, if they think he’s lying, they hit him. The locations vary. The intensity does not.
He lies, sometimes. When they ask for specifics, when he’s pretty sure they don’t know the answer already. Bases his answers in truth, but dresses them up or down.
They swallow every lie he feeds them, not to mention the few truths they don’t believe. He’s not giving up too much. Nothing overly damaging.
And then, the questions and the attack stop. Just like that. He’s untied from the chair, far too exhausted to even think about kicking out at his captors, and then he’s bundled back into (presumably) the same vehicle.
He hadn’t really cared about how bumpy the ride had been before. But now, his entire body aches and every jolt of the vehicle sends a wave of pain from his head through his feet. He feels a million different things at once. Exhausted and nauseous and numb and resigned and afraid and angry and helpless.
He wants to go home. Wants his mom, his dad. Wants Rose.
They dump him in the sand again. He lies with his face pressed to it, slightly warm and unpleasantly itchy, and listens as the sound of an engine grows further and further away.
He can feel the sun beating down on him, growing steadily more intense. He needs to move. He can barely feel his legs.
After a long struggle, he makes it to his knees. He spends some time trying to untie his wrists, not stopping until he feels them start to bleed.
Resigned to that particular fate, he very slowly gets to his feet. His head spins, and he nearly falls right back down to his knees.
Instead, he makes it all of ten steps before he trips over something and falls, his knees and chin connecting with something hard.
For a few seconds, he doesn’t move, immobilized by the shock and the pain of the fall. But when he starts shifting, he discovers something wonderful - he’s hit a rock, and its shape is such that he can rub the ropes against a fairly sharp edge until they break at last.
The second the rope falls away, he reaches up and pulls off the blindfold.
The sunlight is blinding and dizzying. He sinks down to sit on the rock that has freed him and looks down at his hands. His palms are streaked with blood and both wrists are encircled with red loops, deep indents in the skin showing how tightly he’d been bound.
He looks down until his eyes adjust to the light. Then he takes a glance at his surroundings.
He’s not sure what he’d expected. The middle of nowhere, probably. Nothing around him for miles, just sand and sun and the endless sky.
He is not more than a quarter mile from an airport. He can see its buildings, watches a plane land, watches another one take off.
He walks towards it, noticing all the time how much everything hurts. He cannot breathe without pain. Every step is a fresh agony, but at least he’s moving.
He doesn’t stop moving until he’s through the doors. The air conditioning hits him like a blast, and he nearly sinks to the ground right then and there.
As it is, he manages to stagger to a single-user bathroom and bolt the door behind him before his legs give out.
He sits propped up against the door, breathing in the cool air, for several minutes. Eventually, he gets back to his feet and leans against the sink, examining his face in the mirror.
They’d been relatively kind to him there, actually. There’s a scrape below his left eye and a bruise on his right cheek, but he’s looked worse.
Less good is the blood on his chin - his own doing, from the rock that had turned out to be his salvation - and the bruise already forming across his neck.
He does what he can. Washes away the blood and blots it out of his clothing as much as he can. Messes with his collar so the bruising on his neck is as obscured as it can be.
His clothes are sandy and sweaty, but he leaves them as-is. He doesn’t want to look at the patchwork of bruises waiting for him underneath.
He allows himself one final moment in the bathroom, sticking his mouth beneath the tap and drinking as much water as he feels able to. He’d scarcely noticed the thirst until now. The water tastes like blood and sand and it hurts to swallow.
The airport is hectic, and hardly anyone even looks at him twice. By some miracle, his passport is still in his pocket, and so is a small amount of cash and his credit cards. His phone is gone, and so is his bag, but at least they’d left him with something.
It’s a clear signal, to him. Get the hell out and do not come back.
He doesn’t even think of trying to find the US embassy, of staying here any longer. He can’t. He’s exhausted and hurting and afraid and there is a flight to JFK in half an hour.
He gets the last available seat, smashed in between a guy the size of a pro football player and a young child belonging to the family across the aisle who won’t stop talking.
Despite this, he’s asleep before the plane even leaves the ground.
thanks for reading!!! i had a really great time writing this and i really wanna do a follow-up...i have an Idea but we'll have to wait and see lmao
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