#trying things and doing things and keeping on trucking gets u thru it one way or another

[piplupod]

my method of "getting better" has just been Do Everything Possible and latch onto whatever gives you any sense of purpose and/or joy. and i guess it's been working because i am definitely not in quite the same place that i was a few yrs ago

[angeltrapz]

helo beloved mutual connor, im sorry ur goin thru it rn but i come bearing asks n a heart emoji (💗): bcuz i have had this thought floatin around for a lil bit, wld love 2 hear ur takes on an Adam/Eric/Mallick (+ Art too if u want!) road trip vacation! how long wld they go, do they get motels or camp or just sleep in th car? whats everyone's favorite road trip snack? what sorta shit do they like 2 stop for? (weird tourist traps like giant balls of yarn etc, small town main street stores, cool looking restaurants, nature sites, Actual Destinations, so on n so forth!)

fjkdsd thank u beloved mutual adam,,, <3

ohhh I love tht idea!! road trip fics/hcs are one of my weaknesses,,

but um!! I rly like the idea of th four of them going camping a few hours up north!! (we... don't rly know where. SAW is set so just. imagine a vaguely rural campground lmao. I'm used to camping in th upper peninsula of MI so) it's smth tht Art did a lot w his family when he was growing up, so he's th most familiar w it - Eric went a few times as a kid too, Mallick went Once, n Adam has never rly been camping, w his family or otherwise (he's slept on a trampoline at one of his friends' houses once tho). Art is p excited abt it tbh, it's not exactly smth he gets 2 do often so he's got this whole list planned of things he wants 2 show them!!

it's easiest 2 just take a week in late August, bc they can head back home on a Friday n have the weekend to settle n readjust b4 th coming week + they have to go back 2 work. so they head out around ten on a Monday morning 2 kind of get ahead of th traffic (or at least try to). Art drives both bc he insists and bc he knows they can switch if he needs to, which he does later w Eric. it's a good couple hours (at least 3) b4 they get 2 th campground Art wants to take them to, so clearly it is Music Time + Adam made sure 2 bring CDs! a lot of that time is just spent vibing 2 th music and singing very, very loudly (ESP on Adam + Mallick's end). Art's up front like u three are so fucking goofy (affectionate), but eventually he starts singing too lmao.

Mallick starts th Colour Game, where they try 2 find a car fr every colour of th rainbow. it's smth Eric is familiar w as well bc he used 2 play it w Daniel sometimes, and it's good until they come to purple bc how often do u see purple cars??? so Adam's just like "we're not gonna find pink either" n tht's when this fucking pink pickup truck (noticeably spray-painted, + not done well) passes them n Adam just groans n thumps his head against th window. Mallick is like, trying rly hard not to laugh by pressing a hand over his mouth + Art is biting his lip, but Eric is very openly cackling bc "u see what happens when u assume???" (he gets a very light slap 2 th shoulder but it's still very gentle)

ANYWAY. favourite snacks!! Adam can eat Way Too Many Sour Patch Kids. sour anything, actually, as long as it's candy. yes his tongue hurts and no he doesn't regret it. Eric just gets goldfish bc he tends 2 get a lil carsick + bc it's a food tht's familiar n comforting, n he doesn't rly want 2 be eating anything Too heavy (he's up front w Art, so he can sit by a window in case he needs some fresh air at any point). Mallick likes m&m's, but he switches fr cheez-its every once in a while bc he can only eat so much chocolate. Art likes those peanut-butter filled pretzel bites! he's also partial 2 animal crackers tho. they also bring a good amount of snacks/things they can b sure th four of them like, bc yeah there's a lil store abt a half hour away frm their campsite + they can go there to pick up things if they need 2, but it's easier 2 bring things they like, too. (there's also a mcdonald's in tht town n. they do go there at LEAST twice.)

th campsite they stay at has a lake + a beach, n one of Art + Adam's fave things 2 do is walk along it to see if they can find anything interesting! Mallick goes sometimes too, but mostly he stays w Eric bc Eric can't do tht fr as long as Adam + Art can (not tht he's resentful of it tho). he n Mallick chill on th beach w a blanket (it's kind of like. not necessarily sandy?) n just kinda sit against/lay on each other n read sometimes. Adam + Art come back 2 where they're set up to find them sleeping n Adam has never been more thankful he thought 2 bring his camera!!

on th second day Art + Mallick want 2 go swimming, so th four of them come back out to th beach, but Adam stays out of th water + Eric stays w him. they both know th water will be cold, even if it's late summer, n Adam rly doesn't like being in cold water ESP if it's over his head/he can't touch th bottom. fr Eric th cold can b kind of painful, so they chill n walk along th beach fr a little bit n just talk. Adam gets some good pictures n even gets some of Eric! he also does take a selfie of them, he can't help it. he gets a couple of Mallick + Art too. it's honestly such a nice thing fr them n it just feels like they can breathe easy, not having 2 worry abt looking over their shoulders constantly (tho they're all getting better abt that).

th third day they spend around th campsite to kind of unwind n relax. they might walk th beach a little bit again, but mostly they just sorta chill n walk some of th trails around the campground itself. when night falls they light a small bonfire (Mallick is still iffy around fire, understandably) n they sit around it in their folding chairs w th cupholders (Adam gets red, Eric has green, Art gets blue, + Mallick gets dark green) n make s'mores. they talk abt anything n everything until they're barely able 2 keep their eyes open, n then after making sure th fire is pretty much out they kinda just stumble into th tent n none of them r awake for very long after (they specifically got one tht cld comfortably hold th four of them).

fourth day!! they pack up n head into another little town about 45 minutes away; it's bigger than th one around th campgrounds. after they get situated in a motel room w two beds, they do some window shopping + going into lil stores that interest them! Adam def buys some niche graphic tees tht aren't going 2 make sense to anyone other than th four of them n he's delighted abt it. I like 2 think Eric gets a worry stone, specifically made out of rose quartz. Mallick too, but his is made of amethyst! he also gets a rly cool multicoloured jacket in a thrift store they duck into. Art gets a hoodie w th town's name on it n he's pretty happy w that. they get a few more lil things, just little knick-knacks while they're there, n then they have dinner in this lil diner they'd walked past earlier bc it's inexpensive + the atmosphere is very lowkey n honestly just Nice. there's not a bunch of ppl, the servers r rly kind n the lights aren't too bright, which Eric rly appreciates. it's such a tender moment bc they're squeezed into a booth, Adam + Mallick on one side n Art + Eric on th other, n they're talking n laughing n stealing bites of each other's food n it's Comfortable.

then they head back to th motel n channel surf while unpacking enough 2 get to their sleep clothes. Adam + Eric r sharing a bed n Art + Mallick r sharing th other one, tho Adam is very tempted 2 just push them together so they're all close by (th distance btwn th beds isn't tht big to begin with, but it's the principle of th thing). mostly tho, until they go to bed, they're pretty much just all stretched out Everywhere. Adam is only discouraged frm jumping across th divide btwn th beds bc Art breaks out his Lawyer Voice, despite trying rly hard not to laugh, to say Yr Going To Hurt Yrself, Don't Do That. he grumbles n whines abt it but Adam knows he's right jdhjks (th way he sees it is like. he can b silly sometimes. he's Earned It, but he also trusts Art + wasn't super serious abt tht idea). eventually tho Eric can hardly keep his eyes open n Mallick is just straight up asleep while he's still sitting up so tht's when they all go to bed after making sure every1 is comfortable. they leave a lamp on.

fifth day they pack everything up again n stop 2 walk th trails of this lil park b4 they head home! there's a lil shop near th parking lot so they spend a lil bit of time looking around in there first. they probably pick up a few lil things, souvenirs, n Adam walks around 2 get some pictures. he gets this rly cool one while they're on a bridge, th sun peeking thru the clouds a lil bit n shining down on th water. he's super excited to develop tht one (but he's excited to develop All of them, bc this is his family!!!) + he n Art discuss whether or not they're gonna need another cork board lol. eventually tho they round back to th parking lot n on th way home, they stop at another lil hole-in-th-wall kind of place, but it's just as nice as the first one they'd been to. after tht Eric switches spots w Art n he drives them home!!

they're all exhausted when they get back but they have room to crash w each other while they nap so tht's what they do. they fall asleep all tangled together, Art stretched out w Eric's head on his chest, Adam curled against Eric's back, n Mallick w his head on Art's stomach. there r arms n legs everywhere n tht is okay. they're happy. they love each other. they had a lot of fun on their trip n they're tired, but they're comfortable!! tht's what it's all abt!!! it's just such a good n relaxing experience fr them after all th shit they've been thru.

[lumiereswig]

hey all so i just saw ‘hadestown’ and feel duty bound to tell you fools everything about it because i, too, remember what it is to be lonely and on the internet and too poor to see some snazzy broadway shit

there’s no fanfare or anything. the show opens with all the cast coming on—and obviously the audience is going buckwild, especially with amber gray. (u can tell there’s a lot of great comet fans in the audience.) only once everybody is settled does hermes really TAKE THE STAGE.

and boy does he take it. sassy lil shit knows he owns it and just stands there taking in his audience, before flipping his jacket back with dramatic flare (to show his SNAZZY-ASS SILVER THREADED VEST) and starting to sing. (cue noisy wah-wah trombone.)

the setting is p. clearly a bar; orpheus p. clearly works there. he’s like being artsy with the napkins and shit, blossoming them into roses. eurydice is a traveler; she carries with her, wrapped in brown silk, an alter candle that she lights. (after sassing hermes into giving her a match to light it with.) eurydice balances her candle with the paper rose orpheus later makes and gives to her.

orpheus is pretty childlike and dreaming in this version. (not the cocky boy from the off broadway production.) he comes off as kind of lanky and awkward and not quite there; naive is definitely a defining adjective for him. everything about him is soft and gentle and in a dreaming world.

eurydice is kind of a classic tough girl but she’s got a strand of helplessness to her. she puts on a show of not being impressed by orpheus until he sings her the song he’s working on, and manages to bring a rose into his palm.

environmental collapse is a HUGE theme thru this—bigger than i thought it would be. eurydice’s first lines are about how there’s no spring or autumn anymore; everything is winter or summer, too hot or cold to live. the fates sing of the winds—the fates sort of torment her throughout this—but climate change looms as a dread through the show. orpheus hopes his song will bring back summer, put the seasons back in tune.

anyway, everyone’s hanging out at a new orleans style bar. even hades and persephone are there, though above it all in a balcony of their own

did i mention bradley king is a god among lighting designers?

because that will come back a lot

anyway hermes is sort of an uncle figure to orpheus; he was friends with orpheus’s mother, a muse. as soon as orpheus sees eurydice he wants to talk to her, and hermes advices him not to ‘come on too strong’—

and well that plan goes immediately out the window : ‘come home with me!’ [eurydice: ’what?’]

orpheus is just intensely awkward. skinny pale child doesn’t know how to interact with the world

they have kind of an argumentative relationship from the start—they don’t face each other very often; there’s a push and pull as he longs for her and she, kneejerk tough girl, tries not to go for this. but the rose from his palm enchants her, and she holds on to it. ‘you have to finish your song.’

GODDDD AMBER GRAY IS JUST LIIIIIIIFE. her persephone is a total lush and frequently staggers through act 1. she also has a fabulous white coat that gradients to green at the sleeves. when she dances you can’t tell if she’s about to pass out or float up to the ceiling.

when orpheus gives the toast he’s just so awkward it’s appalling

(and everyone toasts except eurydice)

hades wears sunglasses when he comes to the world above to bring persephone back to the world below. he descends from his balcony to get her, and brings her to the center of the stage—and then, oh, SHIT, there’s a fucking perfect round trap door right where they’re standing, and they descend below. (amber gray looking up to the slowly disappearing sky with the face of a martyr who’s used to the gig.)

winter’s hard. eurydice has to bust back out her old ass coat (instead of the winsome black slip thing and brown vest thing she was wearing), and the Fates, bitches as they be, try to fuckin rip it off her. (and succeed. the choreography looks like wind! also chairs and tables looked like they were floating earlier but i forgot to mention that.)

eurydice is trying to get ORPHEUS’S FUCKIN ATTENTION bout the fact they got no food and, uh, three bitchy old ladies dressed all in gray just took her coat, but he’s submerged in writing his song to bring back the weather. and while this is all going on, hades and persephone are having their age-old argument about how hell is too hot and too loud and IT AIN’T RIGHT, IT AIN’T NATURAL.

because, get this, after descending to hell they descended /back up/ into it, and u can tell cuz the lighting is fuckin genius. i’ll explain later except i won’t.

orpheus is just OUT OF IT and not hearing anything at all eurydice is tryin to fuckin say. (the tune keeps going wrong.) hades is sick of persephone not being with his electric shiny no-good shittiness and lays his eyes on eurydice as easy prey.

he puts on his sunglasses again and u know it’s bad news.

he talks her over and gives her her ‘ticket’—two silver coins that she momentarily holds up over her eyes as she looks at us, letting us know that this is some death imagery. she holds both hades’ coins and orpheus’s flower—and, making up her mind, calls out orpheus’s name one last time and descends into the underworld through that same miraculous trap.

and then, fuck me, the trap comes back up but just the red flower is on it. fuuuuuck meeeeeeee i may have wept.

orpheus finishes his damn song and hermes lets him know that hE FUCKED UP HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE SHE GONE, BITCH, and orpheus sees the flower on the trap door and then he’s weeping, too.

and then we get to ‘wait for me’ and holy shit, y’all, i never been so fully into something in my life? it was so physically intoxicating i almost wanted to throw up. like, wonder as a liquid beverage. tHE LIGHTING? ? i fuckin felt awe on this earth today, i saw god and he’s lit by bradley king.

because! hades’ workers bring on these industrial metal lamps, and they hook them to the wires in the ceiling, and they SEND THEM SWINGING OUT INTO THE FUCKIGN AUDIENCE. they fuckin—they—they they they!—they fucking did! that! sent them swinging out in perfect rhythm and time, fully lit, swinging around orpheus and into the audience. and tHEN! THE FUCKIN SET! BEGINS TO GROW!!!

remember the first time u saw the nutcracker as a child and the growing christmas tree fuckin ripped ur world apart? it’s like that except times ten thousand

like it felt like. like the fuckin world was coming apart. the bar set is slowly ripping open and golden light is just searing into your eyeballs and the golden lamps are still swinging around orpheus and it literally felt like god had opened up a cold one and was just singing something horrible into being. it was wonder. i want to see it again.

like. stagecraft, babyyy

and u think act 1 will end on that because why would it nOT but no, we get ‘why we build the wall,’ which is a sort of chilling propoganda thing where everybody is facing forward and just telling back to hades whatever he’s yelling about, and persephone is there and i’m not sure why (like does she believe this? is she the unwilling consort? what’s the deal?)

and at the end eurydice comes in, and sort of picks up on the gestures everybody is doing—in that way everyone does when they come into a room and they want to vaguely pass as with it so they try to sync in to the general vibe. ‘uhh sure everyone’s waving their hands and talkin about walls so i guess i will too’, that kind of thing

hades shows her up to his office (the balcony door) to sign the papers. as soon as he’s gone, amber gray whips round to face the audience. ‘anybody want a drink?’

it’s intermission and i’m still trying to catch up on all the gasp-crying i started during ‘wait for me’

we also get an overpriced hadestown cup cuz get while the getting’s good, right?

back in act 2 and it’s our lady of the underground, ie amber gray in her exact outfit from above except instead of lurid green it’s savage black. (and instead of a bouncy curly brown wig it’s a black sparkly snood.) she dances and pivots and rivets her way through it, introducing the band, being winsome savage bite-your-face-off-and-offer-to-share-it-with-you amber gray. she’s got a neat little ring-shaped silver flask that hangs from her hand like a purse, and i want one.

eurydice emerges from the office dressed in the same overalls as the other workers—though she looks sexy af in them, ngl—and sings ‘flowers,’ and talks about how nobody down here looks at her, and how it’s like they don’t even see her. the underworld is not what she thought it would be. she wants to go home but can’t. she can’t remember orpheus’s name.

uNTIL HE SHOWS UP! Punk ass bitch made it, somehow, and stumbles onto the stage with guitar in hand. she knows his name immediately. but she can’t leave, because she signed her soul away.

u knew all this. it’s classic myth. did i mention patrick page as hades sounds like the combined harmonics of every rumbling truck on the george washington bridge every time he decides to sing?

orpheus has A Moment™ where it’s like, if this is what the world is, if people sign their names up for shit and i can’t save them, i guess i’ll just go home. but he talks himself out of it (apparently his magic vocal cords work on him, too), and actually talks himself (and the stone workers of the underworld!) into activism.

amber gray and patrick page share a duet i’ve never heard before, and it’s fine, and i think it still needs fine tuning cuz im not sure exactly how persephone feels about hades in this bit. it’s fine. what matters is that at the end of it, hades is FUCKED because rebellion is brewing.

he gets orpheus to sing his song. and holy shit, is it a doozy. holy shit, but were we all crying. hooooolyyy shiiiiiit.

holy shit.

when hades sings the refrain at the end, amber gray looks like she’s experiencing the most visceral, exquisite, heartfelt, heartbroken pain of her life. she literally bends as if she’s felt this pain in her stomach—this pain, this anguish over the song she hasn’t heard for so long from this one man she loved so well.

and when a rose blossoms from hades’s palm, persephone is both crying and laughing. it’s like the old times have bloomed again.

and then they dance.

also, should have mentioned earlier, it’s implied it’s not an og song orpheus is singing; he’s actually stumbled on an ancient one, perhaps one hades used to sing, and THAT’S why it’s so devastating—not just his talent and voice, but the memory of it, the memories it brings back. it’s an ancient song, almost a spell, that can heal the seasons.

hades and persephone hold each other close, nuzzling almost, and eurydice faces orpheus, and for a second u think it’s going to be ok because eurydice is so joyful and persephone and hades have healed. o & e  think they’re gonna leave. they think everybody can leave.

but nope, hades can’t have that. damned if he does, damned if he don’t—so he sets the test for orpheus, but u really get the sense that he’s not doing it from a sense of cruelty any more. it almost pains him to do this shit. but the rivet of steel in his character won’t let himself become king of nothing.

hermes presents the challenge: ‘ive got good news, and bad.’ orpheus keeps asking hermes if it’s a trick; hermes keeps saying it’s a test, a trial. (it’s really a TRAGEDY.)

persephone is wooed by the fact that hades even let them try.

ugh, doubt comes in is. devastating. every single person in the audience audibly gasped—u FELT the air leave the room—when he turned around. we all genuinely believed it would end differently this time. we thought it would. i knew it was coming and i still was DEVASTATED.

eurydice is, too. she started as the doubter, and she had so much BELIEF they were gonna get out of this. ‘it’s you—it’s me—’ she says. she’s already sinking through the trap. fuckin hell, they were on the last few steps. i’m still fuckin emotional about it

orpheus just crashes to the edge of the trap, staring down into the abyss. hermes is singing, softly, about how it’s an old song—it’s an old tale—it’s a tragedy. and then he roars—in a way that cheers me up—WE’RE GONNA SING IT AGAIN.

because that’s the power of it! it happened, it was horrible, but we’re going to SING about it—and maybe change the ending this time—the way orpheus tried to, when he sang his way to hades and sang his way to the stones. it’s the singing of the event that matters, that might matter.

and eurydice is back at the bar, wanting matches—orpheus is back at the bar, seeing her for the first time across the room—and the story goes on, like the seasons .fuckin incredible. everybody in the auditiorium now is tear-stained.

APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE

lasted for like.....seven minutes?? it took ages and the actors were just soaking it up, looking exhausted, because DAMN it is exhausting to chart anguish and joy and victory and determination and love in two hours and 25 minutes

and then hermes shushes the house—because of course he does—and amber gray leads the final toast. it’s acoustic—it sounded to me like she wasn’t even using her microphone? it wasn’t brash at all, just raw—and a simple, honest, kind of homespun way to end the show. and it finally ended, and we cheered one last time, and then we went home sobbing and shaking and wanting to do the whole damn thing again

it was great and the stagecraft was some of the best i’ve ever seen and i’ve literally felt maybe only 3 productions like this, where this emotional shit is actually sitting in your lungs, and u should go, the end

[satelited]

・  。  ◟   ⟨  🥀  ⟩     *    ──       what’s  up  to  the  cutest  people  ever  ?  i’m  cc  &  i’m  literally  ,,,,  going  thru  it  but  it’s  okay  cause  this  makes  me  :)  better  .  i  usually  play  bastards  ,  but  cerys  is  not  a  bastard  –  but  ,  she’s  still  unlikeable  so  that  makes  up  for  it  ,  u  know  ?  fjdlkfjsdlfks  but  srsly  ,  pls  like  to  plot  or  lmk  if  u  prefer  d*scord  !

╰☆╮MUSE 08 — wait, is that cerys nam? is it just me or does the twenty-one year-old look exactly like jung jinsoul? last i heard, they still weren’t over being exposed by the sentinel. according to the app, they can be diffident & credulous, but i’ve also heard they're incisive & devout. can’t be too sure, people have a way of surprising you. all i know is that they remind me of the sound of the ocean during a raging storm , a pencil eraser fervently correcting a mistake , sterling silver crosses resting between her collarbones & watching fireflies from the bed of a truck. honestly, the astronomy & physics major should try to keep their head down. after the events of last semester, i wouldn’t want to be in their shoes.

𝓲.     𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥   .

birth   name   :   cerys  (  kehr-riss  )  nam nickname(s) :   care  ,  riss  –  not  a  nickname  person age   :  twenty   -   one gender   /   pronouns :  cis  gendered   female   /   she  /  her  /  hers orientation   :  (  closeted  )  bisexual   hometown   :   montgomery  ,  al faceclaim :  jung   jinsoul

fun facts :  kind  of  a  genius  but  doesn't  talk  about  it  much  ,  devout  christian  but  also  doesn't  talk  about  it  much  – but  she  has  the  vibe  so  ,  really  good  at  gardening  &  has  a  small  indoor  garden  she  likes  to  tend  to  when  she’s  going  thru  it  ,  on  the  cheerleading  team  &  was  a  competitive  cheerleader  for  twelve  years  ,  loves  all  things  space  &  stars  – hopes  to  work  for  nasa  one  day  .

aesthetic :  knees  reddened  from  kneeling  ,  grace  &  mercifulness  ,  a  ray  of  sunlight  shining  through  stained  glass  windows  ,  the  sound  of  the  ocean  during  a  raging  storm  ,  sundresses  &  straw  hats  ,  she  treats  everyone  with  kindness  ,  a  pencil  eraser  fervently  correcting  a  mistake  ,  sterling  silver  crosses  resting  between  her  collarbones  &  watching  fireflies  from  the  bed  of  a  truck  .

𝓲𝓲.     𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕝𝕖   .

raised  in  the  middle  of  a  god  fearing  family  ,  she  learns  bible  passages  before  she  learns  to  spell  her  name  .  mother  ,  stunning  &  proudly  married  to  cerys’s  father  ,  always  clad  in  a  suit  while  he  shakes  hands  with  the  morally  corrupt  .  eldest  brother  makes  grand  achievements  ,  twin  sister  has  a  magnetic  personality  ,  youngest  sister  is  the  baby  &  cerys  –  FORGOTTEN  while  she  forgets  how  to  use  her  voice  when  things  make  her  uncomfortable  .  forms  a  southern  accent  she  doesn’t  get  to  use  much  ,  goes  to  church  with  her  head  bowed  while  she  sneaks  in  a  book  about  the  stars  in  her  purse  .  quietly  ,  she  suffers  when  she  gets  hurt  from  her  kindness  &  her  naivety  .  

epitome  of  purity  ,  follows  in  her  brother’s  footsteps  to  steinhardt  .  loves  her  best  friend  as  she  stays  quiet  &  submissive  .  clad  in  mother  -  approved  sundresses  &  equipped  with  a  southern  belle  image  ,  she  goes  to  class  &  avoids  the  social  aspect  of  college  .  her  hues  watch  from  the  sidelines  as  her  peers  experience  life  &  gain  new  experiences  ,  but  she  doesn’t  want  it  the  way  they  do  .  she  can  achieve  greatness  on  her  own  ,  can’t  she  ?  when  she  finally  gets  out  of  her  shell  ,  it  once  again  comes  to  bite  her  in  the  butt  &  she’ll  find  herself  in  church  again  ,  asking  what  she  did  that  was  so  wrong  .

𝓲𝓲𝓲.     𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

exterior   .   introverted  ,  naive  – has  been  hurt  too  many  times  to  be  so  kind  .  god  fearing  &  fearing  in  general  ,  kindness  comes  easy  but  trust  is  rare  .  she  treats  others  the  way  she'd  want  to  be  treated  ,  but  often  gets  walked  over  as  she's  never  learned  how  to  say  no  .  smart  &  sharp  ,  but  her  voice  is  untrained  &  she'll  spend  the  rest  of  her  life  trying  to  learn  how  to  use  it  .

interior   .   shameful  ,  at  herself  &  her  decisions  .  she's  given  herself  to  people  who  promised  to  not  hurt  her  ,  she's  loved  people  she  isn't  supposed  to  &  she  always  feels  like  she's  being  punished  .  all  being  said  ,  stronger  &  more  resilient  than  the  surface  shows  .  always  takes  the  high  road  ,  head  held  high  .  it's  harder  to  be  kind  than  mean  ,  she  knows  .

midway   .   loves  the  small  things  –  fireflies  ,  sunsets  &  sunrises  .  admires  the  stars  &  has  big  plans  ,  big  ideas  to  revolutionize  the  world  .  incredibly  smart  &  witty  ,  there's  a  side  to  her  reserved  for  the  ones  she  trusts  the  most  .  doesn't  come  out  often  ,  but  it's  as  good  as  gold  .

𝓲𝓿.     𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

so  yeah  ,  i  made  it  shorter  because  otherwise  i'd  be  talking  for  years  .  if  u  want  a  tl;dr  though  ,  pls  lmk  because  i'll  gladly  give  it  to  you  .  i  was  gna  make  a  wc  section  but  i'm  stupid  &  can't  think  so  obviously  i'd  love  :  study  buddies  /  study  group  ,  bible  study  friends  ,  church  buds  ,  people  who  don't  like  her  ,  best  friends  !  ,  unlikely  friends  ,  crushes  – unrequited  &  requited  ,  lab  partners  ,  neighbors  ,  childhood  friends  .  literally  anything  ,  pls  love  me  .

[scige-alt]

LIANA LIBERATO / CIS FEMALE — don’t look now, but is that saige beaumont i see? the 21 year old criminal psychology / linguistics student is in their sophomore year and she is a rochester alum. i hear they can be blithe, energetic, evasive and irrational, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet she will make a name for themselves living in murphy’s beach homes. ( james. 20. est. she/they. )

snjdfg these took so long i’m so sorry but anyways please LIKE and i’ll slide into yr IMs for plots !!

TW DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, IMPLIED ABUSE, ADDICTION, HIT & RUN.

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 21 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: bisexual w/ a very slight preference towards masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of life, next thing she knew, she was a student at lockwood university.

she was involved in a getaway chase from an armed robbery at a bank which then turned into a hit-and-run in washington when she was on the brink of turning eighteen. it was a situation she had no control over, not knowing her role in the scheme until it was too late to turn back. the victim survived but saige’s family has been paying the medical fees since then. her parents haven’t spoken to her since.

ever since the accident, saige has avoided causing too much trouble - generally staying out of headlines and tabloids, partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, and partially in fear of doing something that’ll cost another person their life.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just … pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just … people where their like … relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.

[scige-archive]

LIANA LIBERATO / CIS FEMALE. — saige beaumont is really making a name for themselves as a sheep. i think that she is studying criminal psychology + linguistics in their junior year at lockwood, living in alpha nu. originally from thibodaux, louisiana, saige is known to be blithe & energetic, but can also be evasive & irrational. — james / 20 / est / she/they.

hi !! this is mostly just a repost, but there has been added information to her biography section, as well as her connections to the victims. i’m excited to continue rping with u all !!!

TW DRUG USE, ALCOHOLISM, IMPLIED ABUSE, ADDICTION, HIT & RUN.

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 21 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: firstly when aren’t my babies bi as FUCK but she also prefers masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert beaumont, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of life, next thing she knew, she was a student at lockwood university.

she was involved in a getaway chase from an armed robbery at a bank which then turned into a hit-and-run in washington when she was on the brink of turning eighteen. it was a situation she had no control over, not knowing her role in the scheme until it was too late to turn back. the victim survived but saige’s family has been paying the medical fees since then. her parents haven’t spoken to her since.

ever since the accident, saige has avoided causing too much trouble - generally staying out of headlines and tabloids, partially in fear of her parents finally cutting ties, and partially in fear of doing something that’ll cost another person their life.

and while too afraid to visit the victim & their family, every month since the conviction of the others involved - she’ll visit one of them in particular. it’s been three years and saige has shown no sign of stopping.

during her last visit, he had sent her on a scavenger hunt resulting in her breaking into his brother’s (& his, technically) home and finding a second iPhone - one she had no idea he had, one with the watershed app installed. their intentions was for saige to be able to access the app - but his shepherd access had been revoked, and the phone had already been wiped clean. regardless, saige took it back to rochester with her.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

connections to the victims !!

tatiana samuels / saige & tatiana met when they were freshmen and junior, respectively. they quickly became friends - mostly seen together at parties, where they’d encourage each other to do more, more, more. their friendship was ended after they’d taken a friend’s car on a joyride and wound up crashing it off of a back road. saige freaked out about it & tatiana ... did not. as a result of their very different reactions, and saige’s fear of landing in the news, they cut ties.

george craig iii / saige had met george after bringing tatiana back to her dorm one night where they accidentally crossed paths. one thing led to another and they wound up sleeping together. it hadn’t meant to be a thing at all, but there had been two other incidents of them ‘accidentally crossing paths’ before his disappearance.

hana williams / for the two of them to not be friends would be, frankly - weird, due to their similar friendly personalities. they got along well, but weren’t the closest pair.

christoph wainwright / they had hooked up numerous times before without issue, but christoph’s jealous yet emotionally unavailable personality & saige’s own conflicted feelings had resulted in a huge fight, which led to their falling out - which led to them quickly becoming enemies, instead.

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just … pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just … people where their like … relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.

[buckymcbuttfacebarnes]

sweet sundays: mcdonald’s parking lot (1/?)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: abt 1500

summary: y/n, the relatively new girl on the block, finally gets to know her (quite frankly, hot) next door neighbor, bucky barnes. 

a/n: whats good bitches i hope u enjoy let me know 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Where’s Prince Charming?”

You were wrist deep in dirt, doing your best to create your perfect ‘backyard oasis’ (as some woman on HGTV had so gracefully put it) by planting flowers. Mostly it was a means to occupy your time and to keep your mind off of the rest of the problems life had to offer, but you were also very tired of having a decrepit looking backyard. So, after mowing the lawn (which had been an utter nightmare, the grass was high enough to tickle your shins) you took a ride to a hardware store where you spent an unnecessary amount of money solely on flowers.

“What?” you asked even though you’d heard him just fine the first time.

“I said where’s prince charming?” The man, your neighbor, walked forward until his torso was pressed against the steel chain link fence that mapped out his backyard. He tried to rest an arm against the top rail of the fence, but the metal is hot from the sun and he reels his arm back, making a hissing noise that almost makes you laugh.

You rose and dusted the fertilizer from your gloves before gingerly removing them and leaving them next to the hole you’d left in the ground. You wiped sweat from your forehead before making your way over.

“He’s out,” you replied, standing in front of your fence, a cute little picket that was painted blue, chips in the paint revealed a layer of pink underneath.

“He’s been out for like three weeks.”

It had actually been a month and a half since he’d left. “You’re awfully nosy.”

“I’m observant,” he corrects. “It’s easy to notice his absence. It’s been quiet.”

“You’re one to talk,” you snort.

He makes a face. What?

“Your stupid fucking bike and your music. That shit’s loud as hell.”

His eyes narrowed for a second, dark eyebrows lowering. He is handsome, you decide, in an odd sort of way. He had what you liked to think of as a chameleon face. You were sure if he shaved his beard he’d look ten years younger. If he got the right haircut he’d look like a sweet yuppie kid, or with a little stubble added he’d turn into a handsome bachelor. Right now, though, he looked tired and greasy. The sweltering heat didn’t do anything to help anyone’s appearance. Maybe if he took a shower he’d look rugged in a hot sort of way.

“I like your shorts,” he comments. They were plain blue jean shorts, raw at the hems and baggy, a little long, stained with grass, smeared with dirt—gross.

“Are you done bothering me now, or was there something else you needed?”

“You never told me where he went.”

“You realize we’ve never spoken before this, right?” you asked, suddenly feeling irritated. “It’s none of your business.”

“I was trying to be neighborly.” The statement sounded oddly insincere, a little sarcastic.

You frown. “I’m going inside.”

                                                           —      

You saw him again on Sunday morning.

It was early, the sky only just beginning to glow with hues purple and pink and orange. You were seated out on your front porch, tapping your sneakers to some unheard rhythm. It’s an insubstantial little thing, the porch, too small for anything but maybe a little chair or two. You contemplated putting some potted plants out, but your hatred for dirt and your previous encounter with your nosy neighbor prevented you from working any further on your gardening endeavors. Still, it probably would’ve looked nice.

The neighborhood was actually kind of cute, in a run down, sweet sort of way. The houses were all different. Some well-kept, others looking overgrown and dirty, kids toys in the front yard even though you never recall seeing any kids. You didn’t speak to your neighbors much, never had any reason to. Now that ‘prince charming’ was gone, you kind of wished you had.

You spotted the nosy neighbor in his driveway, peering down into the hood of his truck. With your chin cradled in the palm of your hand you watched him quietly. That day he was handsome in an honest rugged way. Clean, and brawny, probably smelling like a nice pine car freshener or something. Hair pulled out of his face, beard full. He had on one of those white undershirts, showing off muscled arms. You feel like you might throw up when he meets your gaze. He looks away, but smiles to himself.

“Who’s the nosy one now, huh?” He didn’t look up when you approached.

When you couldn’t think of something to say you said, “That would be me, I guess.”

“You guess right.” He grins.

Perfect teeth, you noted.

“So what do you want?” Bluntly and without much inflection in his voice. He didn’t even look up.

You shrug, lean an arm against the truck, peering down into the hood with him. Everything inside kind of snaked around, a jumble of big bulky mechanical parts.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“That’s what I’m tryin’ to figure out.” He straightened, standing tall, wiped a hand on his already-stained shirt before he extended his hand to you. “I’m Bucky.”

You took his hand firmly in your own, “I’m Y/N.”

“So seriously, Y/N, what do you want?”

“I felt bad for the other day.”

His brows lift. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm…”

“So you came here to….”

“I’m not going to apologize because you were being so nosy.” You clarify quickly. “But I didn’t have to be such a bitch about it. So—”

“So what?”

“So...you wanna come over and, I don’t know, have breakfast or something?” Maybe that was a little much.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed into slits. They’re blue, you noticed, a shocking hue of blue. Manic Panic in his eyes blue. Then he shrugged. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Well, what do you want?”

“You’re the one that invited me over.”

“I realize that,” you frown.

“What do you have?”

You make a face while you peer into the fridge, then into your pantry, both of which lacked typical breakfast foods. “Well...I can make you some spaghetti, but just the noodles. I don’t have any sauce.”

“You didn’t really think this through.”

“Oh, Cheerios!” You examined the box, then shook your head. “They expired last month, you don’t wanna eat these.”

“Tell you what,” Bucky began, “I’ll take you to breakfast, alright? You can make me breakfast next Sunday. How’s that?”

“That’s cool.”

“Are we taking your truck?”

“I mean, unless you want to drive.”

“It wont blow up on us?”

“No.”

“I thought there was something wrong with it.”

“There is,” he shrugged, “But it’ll get us where we need to go.”

“What about the bike?”

“My bike?”

You nodded. You hadn’t ridden a motorcycle before.

He smirked. “You wanna ride my bike?”

“Don’t say that with that look on your face.”

“Maybe some other time then.”

                                                            —

“Why’d we go through the drive-thru? We could’ve just ate inside.”

Bucky had parked the pickup in the McDonald’s parking lot where the two of you sat, mouths full of hash browns and bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits.

“Gross inside.”

“Gross in this truck.”

“Don’t talk about my baby like that?”

“Your baby?”

“You’re kind of annoying,” his voice had taken a thoughtful tone. His goofy laugh betrayed him. “So seriously, what’s your deal?”

“What’s my deal?” you repeat, amused. “I hate that question.”

“Okay, well, tell me about yourself. How’s that? That better?” He nudged your arm with his knuckles.

“Yes, much better, thanks.”

He stared back at you expectantly, shaking his head in a way that said ‘I’m waiting.’

You purse your lips, opening and shutting your mouth, at a loss. What was there to say? I’m Y/N. He already knew that. There wasn’t much to know. Your boyfriend left you because he’s an asshole, which you didn’t mind as much as you thought you might have. “How about you tell me about yourself?”

“Mm-mm. Nope. I already bought you breakfast.”

You frowned and slumped further down into your seat, ignoring his inquisitive gaze and pretending to chew very thoughtfully on the remainder of your hash brown. You wiped the grease from your fingertips on a napkin, looked over at his smiling face. “I’ve always wanted a pickup.” You hooked a finger on the door handle for a second before you turned to look back at Bucky. “I wanted a green one. No reason in particular, I guess. But I liked the idea of me driving in it with the windows down and stuff. It’s corny, I know....” you voice faded while you turn to look out the window. You sighed, “Maybe it’s stupid, but I bet it feels good, you know?”

Bucky watched you with a look on his face that you couldn’t quite place. He seemed faraway for a moment, as if what you said took him to a place you had never been. He smiled, “I know.” 

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Lady Silence” Part 1

Frost’s younger sister came to live with him 6 months ago; one could say Y/N is a bit of an oddball because she doesn’t talk and she doesn’t like to be touched. The Joker allowed her to help the crew from time to time without knowing that the only reason for the woman’s presence amidst them was actually him.

You could say you were lucky enough when your brother almost ruined everything with his carelessness; he didn’t do it on purpose, but it could have had very unpleasant consequences at that point.

You were working at one of The Joker’s warehouses when Frost noticed Richard behind you:  Y/N was busy sorting out ammunition from a shipment received the previous evening and perfectly aware of his presence, still she decided not to react.

Jonny took Richard’s gesture as insolence when in fact the guy was debating if he should tap your arm or not; after calling your name and being ignored, he was kind of out of options.

Your brother charged towards the clueless henchman and dragged him away from you, slamming his body against the nearest wall.

“Nobody makes fun of my sister, do you understand?!” the usually calm Frost lost his composure.

Richard was completely taken by surprise and immediately apologized for a mistake he didn’t have a chance to commit:

“I wasn’t making fun of Y/N, I swear!”

“Were you trying to mock her?” Jonny got in his face, panting with indignation. “She doesn’t like to be touched and all of you jerks know it!”

“I wasn’t, I really wasn’t!” Richard defended his actions because it was rare to see Frost in such a state and dangerous to mess with him once aggravated. The goon’s hands went up in surrender since he didn’t want any trouble. “I wasn’t mocking her, ok?”

The Joker saw the altercation from across the storage room and yelled:

“Frost, chill!” and Jonny muttered thru his clenched teeth, wishing for nothing more than to break Richard’s neck:

“Do you know who my sister is?!”

“I said chill!!” J repeated and your sibling didn’t have to look your way to realize you were unhappy with his comment. He wasn’t thinking straight and blurred out a sentence that wasn’t meant for anybody’s ears. At least not yet.

Thankfully, The Joker was too far to hear the dialogue and Richard too preoccupied with his own safety in order to analyze words said in anger by an outraged brother.

“Hey Silence, are you done there?” The King of Gotham shouted because help was needed outside to unload the trucks; he often liked to use the nickname since you didn’t talk.

You nodded a yes and stepped away from the finished chore, ready to take on the new task.

“What’s going on?” J growled as you passed by him, already in a very bad disposition. Three days earlier he dislocated his left shoulder and had to keep the whole arm in a sling; it was bothersome and certainly didn’t improve the mood.

You innocently blinked, pretending to be oblivious to the question.

“Move it faster!” he lost his patience with the quiet woman, opening the heavy metal door so she can get out. Straining himself with the injured arm wasn’t the best idea and the stiff muscles became even tighter. “Shit…” The Joker took a deep breath, the paralyzing ache making him see dark spots.

“Sir, are you alright?” someone close by asked.

“Boss, you OK?” another henchman inquired.

“Mind your own business!!” J barked and dragged his feet towards the office he frequently used as a bedroom too.

You discretely signaled Frost and you both followed The Clown Prince of Crime in his quarters; he was lying in bed and moaned in pain when he had to lift his head up to see who dared bothering him.

“What do you want?” he sneered at Jonny and his sister.

“Mister Joker, if you’re uncomfortable Y/N could make you feel better,” your older brother explained and The Joker sarcastically smirked:

“How? Is she a doctor?”

“No sir.”

“Good, because I don’t need a doctor! Get the hell out and let me rest! Make yourselves useful and aid with unloading the cargo!” he raised his voice and you approached the bed anyway. “Are you deaf, Silence?! Beat it!” The Joker pointed his finger towards the exit, aggravated you were still there. He was starting to sweat from the soreness and you knew that being feverish was an indication of things worsening for him in the next minutes.

Your sibling got out of the room first and you were preparing to do the same when J’s physical discomfort made him mumble:

“So what is it you can do to make me feel better, hm?”

You closed the door and signaled the left arm should be out of the sling. The Joker rolled his eyes and made an effort to indulge your instructions, then scoffed when he figured out the shirt had to go also.

“Do I have to be totally naked?”  

You nodded a no and ignored the sassiness, gesturing for the crabby employer to roll on his abdomen.

Once J did what you required, he sensed your hands gently massaging his shoulder blade. “Lemme get this straight, Silence: you don’t like to be touched; how come you’re touching me?”

No sounds came out of the woman that was patiently searching for a certain pressure point under his skin in order to alleviate the throbbing ache.

“Did I answer my own dilemma?” The Joker frowned.

He sure did: you touching him was different than him touching you.

“Stuck up like your brother!” he admonished, pissed Y/N was calm and didn’t seem to care about his bickering. Suddenly, The Joker felt such a sharp pain in his shoulder he thought you stabbed him. He wanted to move but couldn’t: he was completely numb, courtesy of Y/N manipulating the pressure point she found. Before J could complain some more, your thumb unlocked the pinched nerves and his erratic breathing intensified before gradually returning to normal.

The tense muscles finally relaxed, your fingers giving the body necessary relief. 

“Where did you learn to do that?” he groaned, actually enjoying the soft back rub.

Of course there was no acknowledgement from your part and he buried his face in the pillows, not understanding why he was so drained. You faintly pinched the skin on The Joker’s neck and his eyelids closed; by the time you got the third pressure point he was already asleep, yet you used it to make sure he will be out until morning time.

Frost was waiting for you in front of the room, impatiently biting on his lip.

“Did you see the birthmark on his hip?” your sibling whispered.

“Yes,” you confirmed in a low tone.

“Is it him?”

“It’s him,” you reassured and walked alongside Jonny.

“Are you 100% sure?”

“U-hum,” his sister underlined before taking a separate hallway that led outside to the south part of the warehouse while your brother paced in the opposite direction.

Once in the woods, you carefully listened to the noises: you knew they were there. Y/N walked into the darkness and the wind carried over hushed words:

“Mistress, do you need anything?”

One of your men emerged from the shadows and bowed, his black attire making him almost invisible in the murkiness.

“Master Shiro sends his love,” he clearly enunciated and you widely smiled because a confirmation wasn’t necessary anyway. 

“Next week… at the club,” you gave out the information and the man was quick to pull out his sword when one of The Joker’s henchmen patrolling the perimeter yelled:

“Who’s there?”

40 more swords came out of sheaths in the same time but Y/N raised her hand and they all went down obeying her command.

The woman emerged from behind the trees, revealing herself to a goon freaking out for nothing.

“Jesus Y/N, you scared the crap out of me! I thought it was a wild animal or something!”

You just passed by him and headed back inside, pleased that half a year of infiltrating The Joker’s gang and numerous years of research were lastly bearing a fruitful outcome.

************

One week later

The music at the club was deafening and Antoine Mercier was enjoying the strip show; the French smuggler had no business being there after the negotiations ended, yet The King of Gotham allowed him to stay nevertheless.  

“Oh my God Mister Joker, where do you find these girls?!” Antoine got J’s attention, lustfully staring at the twins leaving the stage in a hurry. The song changed and he anticipated the next vixen gracing the runway with her presence.

The Joker was bored and quite irritated with the guest that asked the same dumb question every time he liked a stripper.

“Oohhhh!” the smuggler grinned when a girl wearing a short kimono style robe appeared on the stage, seductively walking her way up towards the two guys present in the Red Room. The Joker was texting on his phone and didn’t pay attention, too busy setting up another meeting for the next day; it could have easily made him about 2 million dollars richer.

The woman hopped off the stage and Antoine tried to pull her in his embrace but she dodged his touch.

“Come’ere sweetheart, I want a lap dance!” he reached for the cute mask covering the girl’s face; she eluded him again. “I love being teased,” he winked and scratched his crotch, ogling the mysterious creature in front of him. She bent over and the smuggler couldn’t take it anymore: he tried to get up while she pushed him back on the chair, allowing him to untie her robe. A second later she slapped his hand away and her attention switched towards the green haired man.

“Not now, sugar!” J snarled when her legs popped under his nose. The girl took something out of her pocket and he still didn’t look up from his cell. “I said…NOT.NOW!”

She held the piece of plastic in front of his eyes and he couldn’t avoid glancing at it: an FBI legitimation with Antoine’s picture, the name “Frank Johnson - Special Forces Unit” printed right under.

The Joker sucked on his teeth and placed the phone on the table near him. He yanked the ID out of the dancer’s hand, his bad shoulder acting up since he didn’t keep it in a sling anymore. The woman went back to Antoine, distracting him for a few moments.

The undercover agent had no clue about the item and was wondering about it when the girl unexpectedly straddled his lap. She started grinding against him and he lost concentration, his mouth sliding down towards her lacy bra.

“How much for a night, honey?”  Antoine groped her and immediately sensed his throat being pierced by something sharp. He struggled to throw the girl on the floor without success; the knife went out and back in his flesh again, both her hands twisting his neck to the left with such ferocity it snapped.

Everything happened so fast J barely saw the short blade she took out of her messy bun; he jumped off his seat and she got up also, the limp corpse collapsing to the ground with a muffled thud.

“What the fuck is going on?”

The woman didn’t seem startled by the loaded gun pointed at her and she slowly took off her mask.

The Joker forcefully exhaled, barely containing his surprise and managed to utter:

“What’s the meaning of this, Silence?”

The silky robe glided off your frame, exposing Y/N to a confused Clown Prince of Crime. You span on your high heels and the sight of the tattoo covering your whole back made him gasp: two dragons with intertwined tails, surrounded by cherry blossoms. The ink was a work of art and also the mark of the highest rank in the Ozunu clan: the Japanese mafia owned more than half of the major cities in the country and The Joker stayed away from them. Not because he didn’t want to do business with them but because they’ve never given him a sign they would be interested in a partnership so he gave up.

And now they were at his doorsteps.

You heard the beads moving and you knew J was gone without looking.

“Sir!” the henchmen waiting outside the Red Room gathered around their boss, thinking he has important instructions. Instead he rushed by them, fuming at the thought that the man in charge of his security took him for a full: Jonny Frost was The Joker’s target and he intended to get some answers before blowing his brains out.

Y/N stayed behind in the Red Room for a few moments and soon after another woman joined; she grabbed the robe from the floor and placed it around your shoulders. You tilted your head as a thank you and she asked:

“Mistress, are we following?”

You nodded a yes and she continued:

“Are you going to change in the van? Master Shiro is already there; we can take the shortcut.”

You agreed and couldn’t deny the feeling building up in your heart: it wasn’t anxiety or distress, more like relief after almost losing hope that you’ll ever find him again.

************

The Joker kicked the door opened, mad beyond control; he was so angry he didn’t notice it wasn’t locked.

Jonny was in the middle of the living room at his house, sipping on whiskey and waiting for his boss. Like it was hard to guess knowing the lovely temper he possessed.

“You son of a bitch!” J barged in, panting with indignation. “You Goddamn traitor!” he took the gun out from his holster and Frost replied:

“I’m not a traitor, sir.”

“You’re not?! Then how do you explain your sister has the symbol of the Ozunu clan tattooed on her back?” The Joker shrieked while your brother serenely admitted:

“She’s married to their leader sir.”

J was so furious his ears started ringing:

“Is that an insignificant detail you forgot to mention??!!” he yelled and took the safety off his pistol, done with the interrogation.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, sir,” your sibling took another sip of whiskey which prompted more outrage from a very worked up Joker.

“Are you threatening me Frost?!”

“I’m not the threat sir,” the truthful response accompanied someone’s voice coming from behind The King of Gotham:

“Mister Joker, please don’t point your gun at my brother-in-law.”

J instantly noticed a lot of movement and realized he was surrounded by a lot of people dressed in black, their faces covered in the same fabric; only the eyes were visible from behind the dark veils.

The Joker lowered his arm and turned around, facing the man that stood by Y/N; maybe in his late thirties/early forties, dressed in a traditional Japanese kimono that matched yours.

“Mister Joker, we finally meet,” your husband smirked. “My name is Shiro Ozunu and I believe you’re already acquainted with my better half,” he introduced himself while emphasizing who the woman was. “I’m sorry it took us quite some time before answering your proposal; one can’t be too careful these days.”

J was debating on the whole charade, skeptical about the unexpected encounter.

“That’s why you sent your wife and her brother to spy on me?” the spiteful tone made Shiro cut it short: he had no patience for anybody else’s outbursts except his wife’s.

“Like I said, one can’t be too careful these days! I’m here now: would you like to talk or not?”

The Joker puckered his lips, sick and tired of his shitty day:

“Maybe,” he resentfully grumbled.

****************

After four months, Monday - 6pm

“This way Mister Joker,” Frost leads the way towards the main residence belonging to the Ozunu family.

Located 3 hours away from Gotham on the outskirts of New York, the gated property is huge. It actually resembles a small village: the houses are built in the Japanese style and the sculptures decorating the vast gardens remind of the Meiji Era.

The Joker is here for the first time under the pretext of a business meeting: Shiro and his wife want him close for different reasons, not that J is aware yet.

Jonny takes a right on the path leading towards the terrace, when the sound of some kind of turmoil makes your brother shrug and the familiar noise causes him to quicken the pace.

The green haired guest is silent, mostly because he’s still irritated about his trusted henchman’s stunt. He keeps up with Frost though and when the row of decorative shrubs ends, they both see something that’s worrisome to your brother and puzzling to J: you and Shiro are engaged in a sword fight, relentlessly attacking each other.

“What are they doing?” The Joker finally bothers to articulate a sentence out of pure curiosity.

“They’re having a disagreement sir,” Jonny gulps, more and more nervous. “When they fight they don’t verbally argue; they do this.”

“Are those things sharp?”

“Very,” the short clarification makes J more interested.

Such display of skills The King of Gotham has only seen in movies; you could say he’s fortunate enough to witness a very different domestic dispute - courtesy of Shiro Ozunu and his spouse.

Your blade whooshes in the stillness and before your husband can dodge, you intentionally cut a piece of his sleeve, triumphantly snickering when it lands on the grass.

“This…this is my favorite kimono!” Shiro pants, vexed you did such a thing. He prepares to charge but he gets interrupted by a distressed Frost that can’t take it anymore:

“Shiro-san! Y/N! Mister Joker is here!”

The couple gazes at the two men, trying to regain composure; after exchanging mean looks, you put the sword down first and your husband does the same.

“Apologies Mister Joker,” your husband growls, “we weren’t expecting you this early.”

“It was a smooth drive,” J lifts his nonexistent eyebrows, bummed the spectacle is over.

“Welcome,” he is greeted by the host and you acknowledge him with a faint bow before stomping in front of the small group. Your brother runs and catches up with you, closely followed by Shiro and The Joker.

“Trouble in Paradise?” J blurs out since he’s not a sensible person.

Your husband laughs at the bold question, deeming it to be amusing instead of rude:

“Not even close. We just had a small quarrel; marriage can be stressful sometimes and you have to let out steam.”

“Is it because you’re jealous I saw your wife at the club in a skimpy bra and panties?” The Joker nonchalantly mentions as a payback for the past and Shiro pretends to brush it off.

“Careful Mister Joker; at one point I might not find your remarks funny.”

“Just saying,” J grins and has to persist with his inconsiderate observations. “I’m sure you’re afraid another man might steal her from you.”

Shiro doesn’t lose his cool but lashes out in the most elegant way possible; he’s amazing like that.

“Steal her from me?! Y/N is not an object for someone to steal Mister Joker. And I really pity the man that would dare such an affront not because what I might do, but because she would take it as unforgivable insult and she’s far more despicable than I am.”

J huffs, vexed he can’t initiate trouble while Shiro purposely stirs the conversation in a different direction:

“I trust my wife more than I trust myself, Mister Joker” and he pauses for a second. ”Did you know we grew up together?”

“Did ya’?” the visitor seems surprised.

“Yes. Her father worked for mine and they lived here. When her parents divorced, Jonny went to stay with their mother and Y/N remained here with her dad. There weren’t a lot of children for me to play with; I was the only heir to the fortune and my father kept me under strict lockdown. When we were kids, she used to come to my house or in same rare instances, I was permitted to go over to her house. As we grew up, we became pretty much inseparable. One night when we were teenagers, she didn’t make it home.”

The Joker snorts, fully aware what it means and Shiro smiles at the cherished memory.

“I’ve been in love with her since I was old enough to know what it meant. Such a shame my father didn’t understand…When he found out about us he chased her away simply because he couldn’t accept an outsider as a suitable partner for his son.”

“An outsider?” J repeats, not getting the idea.

“Y/N is not Japanese Mister Joker and my father was an old fashioned traditionalist,” your husband recalls the ordeal. “He even had an arranged marriage in mind for me. Can you imagine in this day and age to be told whom you should love?!”

The Joker lifts his shoulders up, ignorant about the subject. What would he know about love anyway? Probably nothing.

Shiro reprises his story, upset the details are making him remember the struggle:

“Y/N’s dad continued to work for my father and she was forced to move with her mother 60 miles away. It wasn’t far, yet I was under surveillance 24/7 and couldn’t escape. After a month of being apart, she showed up at the gates, begging for the security to let her in; she walked all the way here because she missed me. One of the guards went and told my father and you know what he did? He sent 6 experienced fighters to teach her a lesson which translated into beating her to death. Who would do such a thing?! Unleash a group of assassins against a defenseless 19 years old girl that just wanted to see the boy she loved…”

Your husband dwells on his thoughts and J is surprisingly immersed in the topic:

“Obviously she survived,” he gives a hint he’s waiting for Shiro to reprise the dialogue.  

“Not thanks to me,” the leader of the Ozunu clan gathers his long hair together and brings it to front on the left side of his body. The wind blows it back over his shoulder again and he sights, frustrated. “A friend of mine, and like I said I didn’t have too many due to my imposed social status, came to tell me Y/N was here and that my father ordered her demise. He knew he will get in big trouble, but he still risked his life and told me. He also helped me sneaked outside the property and I ran away with Y/N. My dad was mad beyond control and disowned me; I really didn’t give a damn since I had what I wanted,” Shiro proudly states. “The next five years weren’t easy, but Y/N’s mom took as in. My father sent messengers on a monthly basis, promising that if I abandon my stupid ambition it will all be forgiven. Since when loving someone is stupid ambition anyway?!”

The Joker doesn’t answer the rhetorical question and ascends the steps leading to the covered terrace where dinner awaits.

“When I was 26 and Y/N 25, we got married. Later that year I received the news of my parent being severely ill. I was an outcast, yet the thought of leaving everything to someone else besides his own flesh and blood made him reconsider his decision regarding the estranged son. I suppose him being a traditionalist led to something good for once… First, Y/N wasn’t part of the deal: he wanted me to divorce in exchange of the empire. But given the situation, I twisted his arm and got what I wanted: I was allowed to come home with my bride. Please take a sit Mister Joker,” Shiro encourages J since they reached their destination.

A small table is set under the canopy with several dishes, chopsticks and regular dinnerware next to the plates.

“I hope you like the food Mister Joker,” your brother makes small talk and his employer groans:

“I like Asian food or did you forget that?”

You start picking shrimp from your platter and move it over to Shiro’s since that’s his favorite. He might be on your shit list for the moment but you still love him.

The chat resumes and you quietly listen when suddenly Shiro’s chopsticks pop up in front of your mouth: an oyster for his wife, which happens to be her favorite. You accept the peace offer and chew on the morsel, still not looking his way.

The Joker keeps on eating and scans the furniture scattered around the patio, inspecting the various framed pictures.

“Is that you?” he gestures towards the image closest to him depicting two young men and a girl.

“Yes, I’m the one with the blue kimono and the girl is Y/N. The other guy is the friend I told you about earlier: an orphan my father took in and used as a currier. After he told me Y/N was here to see me, he disappeared. Over the years we tried to find him but he just vanished from the face of the earth; I’m certain my father did something to him.”

“He’s probably dead then. Why are you still searching?” J yawns, rather exhausted after the long drive.

“My wife is alive because of him and we are together because of him; I wish I could repay his loyalty,” Shiro explains. “He knew he would be severely punished but he still helped us.”

“Hm,” J puffs. “Good luck then.”

***************

The Joker is spending the night and after finishing dinner he was taken to the guest house near the main Ozunu residence.

You just took a shower and crawled in bed by your husband, debating if you should say anything.

“…Shiro… are you awake?”

He wiggles a bit and switches his position so he can face you, not having any objections when you take a strand of his long hair and twist it around your fingers.

“…I’m sorry I ruined your favorite kimono…” you apologize for what you did a few hours ago.

Shiro scoots over towards you and pulls you in his arms, pouting.

“It’s ok, I have so many…”

“But that was your absolute favorite…” the regret in your voice makes him cringe. You caress his face and whisper:

“He didn’t recognize us…”

Your husband kisses you and frowns:

“Do you think he’s faking it?”

“No, he’s not faking it. He doesn’t remember anything…” you sulk and the teary eyes disturb your spouse more than it should. What better way to improve the mood than using a silly request?

“Hey Y/N, you know what? Will take everything as it comes, but in the meantime you should seriously think about how to compensate me: either we make out and then we make love or we make out and make love in the same time.”

You burst out laughing at his antiques, having a difficult time choosing:

“Take your pick !”

While the couple is reconciling from the fight they had earlier, The Joker is getting ready to go to sleep. He drags his feet on the carpet, studying the exquisite decorative items adorning the bedroom. He stops in front of the picture placed on top of the fireplace, recognizing a duplicate copy of the image he asked Shiro about at dinner time.

J glares at the frame, still not realizing that the 20 years old young man that joined Shiro and Y/N for a group picture almost two decades ago is actually him.

Part 2: diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/183207279431/the-joker-x-reader-lady-silence-part-2

Part 3: diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/183762832056/the-joker-x-reader-lady-silence-part-3

Also read: MASTERLIST

diyunho.tumblr(.)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[kae-karo]

[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

[scigebabadook]

cisfemale — ever hear people say SAIGE BORDEAUX looks a lot like LIANA LIBERATO? I think SHE is about 20, so it doesn’t really work. The LINGUISTICS + CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major is a SOPHOMORE that is from ALL OVER THE PLACE. They can be BLITHE, but they can also be EVASIVE. I think SAIGE might be a SHEEP. They are living in BALTA. ( snot goblin. 20. EST. she/they. )

hello ,,, it seems i am a sheep and Refuse to leave the herd. aka i love u all so frickin’ much ,,, and w/o further ado, here is saige !! pleathe LIKE this so i can shimmy into yr ims !!

TW: drug use, alcoholism, implied abuse ? shitty parents at the very least, addiction

a e s t h e t i c s

stick n’ pokes at 2am – when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they’re bad luck and they’ll break your mother’s back – even if your mother doesn’t love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song – one that’s got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven’t taken down. it’s may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette bordeaux

nickname(s): n/a so give her some uwu

b.o.d. - july 7th, 20 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: firstly when aren’t my babies bi as FUCK but she also prefers masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert bordeaux, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in – she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends – saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier – she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous – a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not – introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her – which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism – it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it – she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either – but, by some chance – and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of living, next thing she knew, she was a student at gifford university in a town she’d never been to before.

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her – she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes–reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very…mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like…she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned…like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like…four cars…..she has them all on campus…..she prolly isn’t suppose to…but she does…one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like…quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly – she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by … the situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what…it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

it’s honestly a bit of a problem ?? she blurs the lines between friendship and Something, Anything More too often and with too many people b/c she just. wants to be loved. but there is never enough !

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like…prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, where they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like…she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

…somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

the drug dealer she keeps sleeping with even though she can just ... pay for her shit. b/c it’s funner this way !

just ... people where their like ... relationship status is Blurred and it’s like, are they a thing? are they not? b/c she’s a mess and gets involved with too many people without intending to !

please. take her. give me connections.

[saigeboredeaux-blog]

( cisfemale ) haven’t seen SAIGE BORDEAUX around in a while. the LIANA LIBERATO lookalike has been known to be (+) CONFIDENT & (+) AMIABLE, but SHE can also be (-) RECKLESS & (-) IRRATIONAL. The 20 year old is a SOPHOMORE majoring in LINGUISTICS + CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY. I believe they’re living in FIDELIS but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james! 20! est! she/they! )

i loved naeva but it isnt her time, she doesnt belong in the mortal realm sndjkfjgkh BUT i did wake up from my nap with an INTENSE FEELING OF LOVE AND MUSE for saige, who is my actual legitimate daughter. so pleathe, have her. love her. respect her. if you haven’t already dropped a like on my other post and you’d like to plot with saige, pleathe do so on this one !!

TW: drug use, alcoholism, implied abuse ? shitty parents at the very least, addiction

a e s t h e t i c s (i saved them this time !!!)

stick n' pokes at 2am -- when your drunk and giggling too much in between purposeful stabs, avoiding the cracks in the sidewalk because they're bad luck and they'll break your mother's back -- even if your mother doesn't love you, because you love her, the familiar riff in an old song -- one that's got you strumming along silently; there is no guitar, only empty air lit by the christmas lights you haven't taken down. it's may. swallowing down shots, and by default, swallowing down problems. laughing quick, easily, constantly. skinned knees from skateboarding, despite being rubbish at it. wishes on eyelashes stuck to your cheekbones, glitter sticking, running into the ocean at sunrise; feeling at home. excuses, and the many forms they come in. telling people you love them through hand squeezes and fresh muffins, sideways glances and soft, eager grins.

general info !!

full name: saige alouette beaumont

nickname(s): she…doesn’t have any in this timeline but PLEASE, she LOVES nicknames. she’s a nickname slut.

b.o.d. - july 7th, 20 whole yrs old.

label(s): the hedonist, the icarcian, the reveler, etc. etc.

height: 5′7″ thank u very much !!

hometown: thibodaux, louisiana

sexuality: firstly when aren’t my babies bi as FUCK but she also prefers masc-presenting folks

pinterest

stats

biography !!

the fallible daughter of two very infallible people: robert bordeaux, US lieutenant general, and manon levesque, world renown fashion designer. both calculating, cold, and purposeful.

saige never believed she was created out of love. it was an action with a purpose, intentions to create the perfect child. the hybrid of both military genius and fashion extraordinaire, molded to their will.

it took them no more than six months after her birth for her parents to up and move, thus beginning the cycle of packing and unpacking, flying and driving, state-to-state and country-to-country. the longest saige had ever stayed in one place was two years.

kept on a short leash, homeschooled, and learning skills she had no interest in -- she was more like a pet, a project, than a child. the world moved all around her, but she felt restrictively tethered to her parents.

she had always felt this way. a bird in a cage of thorns.

it was hard to keep and maintain friends -- saige would be there one day, and gone the next. a ghost, a very visible ghost. even so, she tried her hardest.

running from bodyguards (nannies, in a sense. her father is a paranoid man) into festival crowds and climbing out of windows in the dark of night to swim in lakes with locals she’d meet only a few hours earlier -- she absorbed as much of what she could get; this intense, undying love for a world she had always craved to see.

it was the start of something near dangerous -- a phase that seemed to never end, rebellion coursing through her veins. a wild child in the making, unknowing of limits. the bad sort of crowd was the crowd she found herself landing, more often than not -- introducing the sheltered girl to a world she hadn’t quite known existed

she ran away, briefly, at age fifteen with a man three years older than her -- which nearly ended up in a tabloid magazine if it hadn’t been for her parents’ money. though the guilt of her parents’ disappointed weighed on her, the thrill fueled something much worse

from that point on, she became a problem child. from public intoxication to vandalism -- it was clear their daughter was unraveling and nothing could contain her.

boarding school was a small attempt to stop it -- she got expelled.

she hadn’t intended to go to university, either -- but, by some chance -- and after a mysterious year-long disappearance from public eye during her eighteenth year of living, next thing she knew, she was a student at lockwood. (more on this later :~) )

connection to tatiana: party pals !! super close as long as they were drunk, but they generally ran in different circles (though saige sorta...runs through all circles?) whilst sober

personality !!

bubbly. so fucking bubbly. she’s got so much fucking energy on her -- she goes running every morning and every night and swims like every afternoon and she’s n e v e r tired ?? the personality of a coke bottle shaken up but like if the bottle could laugh.

tries her hardest to be the Happy Fun friend, y’know, the one who can hook you up w/ some sicccc shit b/c she befriended/possibly slept with her drug dealer and now she gets discounts.

like, generally, comes off as very confident of herself and fearless and, like, yes--reckless, but like a fun reckless, y’know ??

talks a l o t, could ramble for days, hand gestures and all.

if she wants to do something, she will do it and there’s not much you can do to stop her tbh. she’s very easy-going, very go-go-go, very...mischievous, y’know? even if she’s trying to do something stupid you kinda just have to let her do it or otherwise she’ll mope for three hours and pout at you and you’ll feel ?? this weird sense of guilt ?? which isn’t the Best thing but she’s not the best person either so dfghjh

a vegetarian !! meat makes her sick, like, physically.

uuuhh her vocabulary consists of a lot of ‘likes’ and ‘ums’ and ‘y’knows’, y’know ??

i am like 99% sure she’s got adhd but she’s never been diagnosed with it b/c her parents suck with that stuff. her parents sort of suck in general.

like...she’s currently not on speaking terms with them. she’s not disowned...like, yet, but they haven’t said more than like five words to each other since saige was eighteen and it k i l l s her but they also send her a shit ton of money every month so.

owns like...four cars.....she has them all on campus.....she prolly isn’t suppose to...but she does...one of them’s a real sleek sports car, one is a jacked up pick-up truck that’s decked out in like LED lights n shit, one is the same exact fucking car from the princess diaries b/c saige is obsessed w/ the movie. the other is like. a mini cooper probably.

a photographer, her walls are covered in photographs and art and taped-down plants and in general her room is very ?? cluttered ?? like it’s very home-y but god. she’s a mess. clothes everywhere. she’s probably got a pile of instruments and other miscellaneous hobbies on a chair in the corner that she hasn’t touched in a while

speaking of !! she has a bunch of random, like, skills ?? like knitting and sewing and cooking and three different forms of ballroom dancing, and she can definitely work a gun and a car engine except she goes thru interests so rapidly and is disinterested in most of the other ones b/c her parents forced like half of them onto her.

she plays bass guitar. she loves her bass guitar. she knows other instruments but the only ones she’ll really fidget with are her bass guitar and like, her violin. everything else she’s like ~okay~ at

got really obsessed with languages at a young age and started learning them ?? her mother is like. super french, like genuinely from france, so she already grew up speaking both english and french but she’s learnt others for the hell of it and she’s still learning like three other at the same time which is a MESS but she’s a mess so like can u blame her sdfghj

but like i said, she’s v e r y reckless. very much a party girl. she uses like...quite a few drugs, both socially and alone and frankly -- she’s rarely sober.

a budding alcoholic because she’s convinced that without it she’ll be Miserable and Horrible to everybody because she’s a Horrible, Awful person who is the absolute Worse and if drinking vodka mixed in with 23 crystal lite packets helps with not thinking like that then she’ll do it no questions asked

its a problem she’s been developing since she was younger, only amplified by ... situation, that happened when she was eighteen.

is essentially wearing this mask of confidence and giddiness and flirtatiousness b/c she doesnt want people to think she’s doing Not Okay.

she loves so much. she loves everything, everybody. falls in love like five times a day but nothing really sticks to her either. if ur a shitty person/come off as an asshole then she’ll be more likely to be attracted to her b/c shes Always been like this. finds them super interesting which is ?? questionable ?? sometimes i want to just. knock some sense into her but y’know what...it’s fine we’re Fine

she gets around p frequently but is also the type of person who’ll like, try n maintain a positive, good friendship with whoever she sleeps with b/c the idea of having regrettable encounters is smth that Bothers her and she just pretty much refuses.

she does stick n pokes !! a whole bunch !! let her give you one !! she can’t draw for shit but i mean, who cares, right ??

uuuhh her mom sends her like...prototypes of things she designs n shit that isn’t out yet and saige 100% always gives it away or it sits in her closet and essentially that is her go-to gift for birthdays or christmas or whenever she feels like it

there’s literally sm i could say about her but i’ll stop Here b/c it’s getting too long sksksksk

wanted connections !!

give me. a best friend. just somebody who sticks by her side even though she’s a Mess

like, a ride or die ?? is that the same as a best friend ?? idc i want both :)

and just in general, like, people she’s p close to ?? she’s really friendly and is the kind of girl who’d be really popular in high school but doesn’t care abt popularity n talks to literally Everybody like she’s known them all her life.

ESP if ur muse is a lil grumpier !! she will fuck their shit up, but like, in a friendship way.

party pals, who, much like tatiana they don’t talk that much outside of parties but inside them ?? super close. glued to the hip. hold-your-hair-back kinda tight.

frenemies ?? fake friends ?? toxic pals ?? ppl using her for her money or like, sex, or something ?? anything ??

bad influences ?? who just encourage all of saige’s shit ??

good influences ?? who are like YOINK stop being an idiot.

a tutor b/c she’s like...she’s smart, okay, but she’s also really stupid LMAO. she’s rly bad at math and science. somebody help her.

hook ups ?? fwbs ?? that one, rare one-night-stand that went weird ??

exes ?? she’s sorta noncommittal so idk how long they would’ve dated but like sjdfkbo yolo ?? ex hook-ups too ??

...somebody who just. hates her. but she doesn’t realize bc she’s a big ol’ idiot. she thinks theyre pals !!

let her b a thorn in someone’s side, just like, an absolute annoyance LMAO

gimme an enemy, or like an ex-best friend where something happened between them n it ruined their friendship

i will take literally anything i dont know

she steals ur character’s mail ?? ur cat keeps escaping and she keeps letting them inside even tho she’s allergic ??

one of those friendships where theyre always bickering like an old married couple ?? but it’s Purely Platonic (or is it ??)

an off-and-on again that just. it’s not good for either of them b/c they keep enabling each other and then getting pissed off and it’s a Mess but ?? it’s so hard to stop.

please. take her. give me connections.

[linearao3]

Challenge prompt for February; Rey and Ben are texting each other filthy things to rile each other up before they get home to do said filthy things to each other

The prompt does not explicitly specify, but I have derived from, uh, context clues, that this is intended, like the last anonymous prompt, for the Rey and Ben of Kohelet 3:16, in their LA life.  And that is what I have delivered.  Doing the text formatting I did in the story proper is kind of exhausting on Tumblr, so you will have to figure out who is typing from their style.  (When I answered the prompt on Friday night, I was like, “This is probably among the dirtiest things I’ve ever written.”  But I may have topped myself?)

i miss u

Oh, you do, do you?

I’ve heard that one before.

yeah u have

so u know what i mean

You mean you miss my mouth on your cunt.

oh I miss lots of things

but yeah now that u mention it…

its a very nice mouth

Yes, well, I’m extremely busy clerking, so you’ll just have to wait.

ben. we both know how good u are @ waiting.

But we’re talking about YOU waiting.

uh huh

u kno i went to work in just a camisole today

it’s too hot out for bras

if I get too turned on someone might notice

Rey.

but ur busy clerking so i guess im just gonna have to finish out the day like this

REY I AM ACTUALLY BUSY CLERKING

but ur answering ur texts

I’m going to stop now. I’m going to put my phone in my bag on silent and read this brief.

ben if i come to ur office wd you fuck me in a bathroom?

if u came to mine we have this nice supply closet full of snacks

u cd have fruit leather AND get ur dick sucked

sounds fun right??

sounds fun to me

i love it when im sucking ur cock and u start pushing ur hips

like u cant help it

like u need it

does it feel good?

fucking my mouth like that?

i love it when u pull my hair and make me take ur cock

oh u cn def see my nips thru my shirt ben

someone’s gonna walk by and see and think code compiling makes me hot

or maybe they’ll think

oh she’s prolly texting her bf i bet he fucks her good

bet shes a dirty little slut for him

bet shes wet right now just thinking about the sounds he makes when she gets on her knees and sucks him off

shdnt a brief be short ben its called a brief

I’m not your boyfriend. And “good” doesn’t apply to what I’m going to do to you when I get home, Rey.

u kno thats how i like it

Yes; I know just how you like it.

you do. 

I would have anyway. You didn’t have to go through all this. All you have to do is ask nicely, once, when we’re both home.

i AM asking nicely.

arent i?

oh shd i say please?

Yes. You should. You have no manners.

PLEASE show me what happens to dirty little sluts with no manners

Rey.

sir.

Fuck.

You murderous little bitch, you’re going to kill me.

dont die ben

if u die i might have to fuck someone else, and they wouldn’t be as good

English lacks vocabulary to express how evil you are.

but i only want u

because ur my favorite and i love you best

You daughter of Lilith.

I’m going to make you scream.

lol guess what

What, Rey.

delays on the expo line

im still downtown

u at home yet?

I wouldn’t be texting you if I were driving.

a safe driver AND a nice cock what a husband i have

She knows Ben’s going to be waiting for her just inside the door and he is. He grabs her from behind, her keys still jingling in her hand. “You filthy little brat,” he breathes in her ear, as his right hand moves slowly over the curve of her hip and his left one draws her close. “You made me blush in front of a federal judge. I had to tell her you’d sent me a compliment.”

“I did.” She works her hips against his stiffening cock. “I sent you lots of compliments.”

“You sent me pornography.” Rey wasn’t lying about having forgone a bra. It’s hot; the AC’s on but he has his sleeves rolled up above his elbows. Both his hands come up to toy with her breasts, kneading and teasing. “You sent me a lot of texts about sucking my cock.”

“Oh,” she says. “Did those catch your interest?”

“Get on your fucking knees,” he says, but she can’t; he’s holding her too tightly against him. She tries to pull away, to show him that she can’t do what he says, but he only strengthens his grip and grinds into her.

“You like it?” he asks her. “You like sucking your husband’s cock? Like a good little slut?”

“Not good.” She turns her head, trying to kiss his jaw, his neck. “Naughty. Dirty. Bad.” She licks him, the rough, shaven skin of his neck. It makes her feel like an animal, but she doesn’t care; she can be an animal with him.

“You are bad,” he agrees, “you’re so bad you make me crazy. So bad you make me cry.” He kisses her. His lips are so soft; his tongue is so subtle. “But you look so good with my cock in your mouth.” He loosens his grip and turns her in his arms so he can kiss her more thoroughly. “Show me, Rey.”

She likes to tease him, draw out playing with his belt while she smiles up at him, but he has no patience for that now; she isn’t even on the floor before he has his cock out and one hand on her head. She purses her lips at the head of his cock and takes him into her mouth slowly, stroking him lightly with her tongue. He almost staggers, his other hand grasping her shoulder to keep his balance as he buckles with pleasure.

Their apartment is small, without much empty space; it only takes a little shove from her to have him against the arm of the couch. He leans on it and looks down at her as she works at him with her hands and her mouth. He sighs brokenly before he can gather himself to whisper to her. “Yes. Fuck. Look at you.” She turns her head slightly, looks up at him. His eyes are wide, dazed, staring at her; after only a moment he groans and throws his head back, as if meeting her gaze was too much for him. His hand strokes blindly, clumsily at her hair.

His hips are beginning to make the small, pleading thrusts Rey’d texted him about. She slides her mouth off his cock and stoops a little to take one of his balls in her mouth. His hand clenches on her head and his moan is almost a sob as she sucks gently, then moves to the other with a pop of suction. His free hand clenches on the scratchy felt of the couch. She licks up a drop of pre-come, and puts his cock between her lips again. The taste of him goes so perfectly with the smell of him; she bobs her head at a leisurely, savoring pace, and reaches down to rub herself through her jeans.

He hisses at her, and drags her off him by her hair, ignoring her noises of protest. He turns her around again, unbuttoning her pants, as he pushes her against the arm of the couch. “I know how you like it.” He yanks her pants and underwear to her knees and pushes lightly on her shoulder blades; she falls eagerly. “I know just how you like it. And I am going to make you scream, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” she says into the cushions, and then his fingers are inside her, flexing, beckoning, while the tip of his thumb settles just shy of her clit, pulling at the hood without ever touching the pearl, and Rey groans and twists and kicks her legs helplessly, but his fingers are relentless and her groans become small, aching cries.

Then his other hand closes in her hair, pulling her back into an arch, and she knows what’s coming; he pulls his fingers out of her, and her body, which must have no sense of self-preservation, clenches down as he pushes his cock in. She screams around the wet fingers he thrusts into her mouth as he fucks her, bracing himself against the couch, and he does know just how she likes it; she likes it just like this, just like he gives it to her, her forearms burning where they rub against the felt, her back tight as a bow, and her hips driven into the arm of the couch as he rides her.

“Such a bad girl.” He’s so deep inside her. She ruts back against him frantically; she’s mad with pleasure; she’s an animal in his arms and he will keep her with him. “Don’t I give you what you want?”

“Yes,” she cries. Fuck – fuck – she’s so close. “I need it.”

“You do,” he agrees. “Look at you. Ah. You do.” And he fucks her even harder, until she comes, gasping and thrashing and screaming, again.

The instant she’s quieted down, he pulls out of her and drags her backwards; she isn’t sure if he wants her on her knees or on her back, and she ends up half-slumped against the couch with his left hand in her hair and his right jerking furiously at his cock.

“You wanted to see,” he grits. “Want to see what happens – to dirty little sluts – with no manners?”

“Yes,” she says, “yes, please.”

His jaw is clenched; his hand on her head is clenched. “Call me sir.”

“Please, sir,” she begs, and he drags her close and comes on her face in hot, shocking spurts, choking and groaning above her.

He sways and falls to his knees, cradling her face in his hands, with a stunned look, like he’s bewitched, like he can’t believe what he sees. Then he falls again, backwards, onto the floor, taking her with him, clutched to his chest. “Rachel,” he says, and she can feel it in her bones, the way his deep voice is torn from his chest. “Rachel.”

They lie there on the floor, still half-dressed, soaked with sweat and come, and she hears his heart, like hers, begin to slow. Around the edges of the blinds, the sun is still warm, and the AC hums from the bedroom. His fingers run through her hair, catching on tangles he’s put there himself. They will get up; he will carry her (if she lets him) into the shower, and he’ll wash her carefully, rubbing the soap in thorough, soothing circles, repeating variations on her name, Rey, Rachel, Ruchele. Shaina maidle, habibati, dodi. They will put on clothes again, and order a pizza, or he’ll run down the street to the taco truck on Venice. But for now they just lie here, and she feels him shift, and tells him what he wants to know before he can ask it.

“You are still my favorite,” she says, and kisses his hand, “and I still love you best.”

[sailorswelcome]

WOWZA

tagged by @hi-im-eilidh thanks mom ur the loml and i would Absolutely die for you. also in writing this i just discovered grammarly has a tumblr extension. hmmmm.

what’s the smell of your shampoo?

I wash my hair..... like once every two weeks? bc i have so little of it and it doesn't need to be washed ever. the shampoo i keep at school is rosemary and the stuff i have at home is lemon, but it took so much effort to remember this bc i just never wash my hair bc im disgusting.

what’s your aesthetic?

luckily for me i have a pinterest board called aesthetic with 2.6k pins so i have a VERY clear idea for this. lumberjack shit, “the north” in general; ice and woods and glaciers and mountains and stuff. museums and classical things; art history and rome and greece bc thats just my shit. coffee shops, pretentious looking people smoking cigarettes, warm socks, log cabins, standing in the snow, words written in paintbrush over photos of landscapes, the moon, the sea, the desert. 

what’s your favorite time of the day and why?

between 2 and 3 am bc i am horrible at sleeping. the light is always very beautiful then no matter where you are idk why. it is nice to look out the window then or take a walk or sit in the hall when everyone else on your floor is asleep. its just always very quiet and beautiful. 

what do you most like about the beach?

GOOOOOOOD I LOVE THE BEACH uhhhhhh hgngngngngn i like it at night and in the winter and i like to look at it from on top of a cliff bc i love the way you can see every dip and sandbar because the color of the water changes... i love when its really clear in the early spring and you can see the seals after they dive underwater. I love the beach at night and swimming at night and the moon's reflection on the water and i love when it gets REALLY cold some winters and parts of the harbor will actually freeze and you get these huge chunks of ice washing up. I love when big chunks of driftwood wash up and you can use them as benches. I love the beach a lot can u tell. 

what do you worry about constantly?

dark question op! i worry about Everything but mostly that I’ll never be happy, and that i’m annoying and a bad friend. everything else is just stemming from that.  

what is a song you’ve cried to before?

i’ve cried to almost every single song i know but the number one hard hitters are I Need My Girl by The National, Lakeside View Apartments Suite by The Mountain Goats, and I’d Rather Be With Them by Marika Hackman. Those last two are both hit me with their lines about being really sad and throwing up which is just a trope that gets me I guess. oofa. 

what are some relaxing tips for your followers?

i have never once in my life been relaxed but i would say mixing up the ways that you relax? having a really consistent routine to relax has never worked for me bc it stops working after a while and i just autopilot through it. talk to a friend, play some music, draw, go for a walk, take a nap on the floor instead of your bed, take a bath. journal, drink some water, eat something. try something new every time depending on what is stressing you out. go with the flow dudes.

what are some things that make you tear up?

like. all music as i said i have cried at Every song. also a lot of movies make me tear up. idk this is a bad question bc i just start crying sometimes for no reason i think my eyes just do that. i was hanging out with a friend one time and my eyes just started leaking and he was like hey whats wrong? and i was like no idea! its a mystery to us both

what is your favorite from each sense?

sight - sunlight falling on the floor through windows  

smell - hey this is going to sound so weird but im OBSESSED with the smell of the chemicals they put in air conditioners and freezers. its my favorite smell in the world. i dont know why i just smell a refrigerator and nut

taste - this is honestly the first thing i could think of but on christmas eve i was at @hi-im-eilidh ‘s house and her mom made biscuits and like holy shit

sound - catholic boys choir hitting a high note in a big cathedral 

touch -  holding hands im gay 

what is an alternative reality you’ll like to live in?

noir detective novel where i am very cool and i have 20/20 vision and a gun and i can monologue

what are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

i am always stressed and lonely and i have no money for gas as i drive a pickup truck. also my friends who i love dearly always SPILL FOOD IN MY CAR, AND DONT PICK IT UP, IS THIS YOUR FUCKING BEDROOM I DONT THINK SO CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF GGOD

what is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

there is this post-apocalyptic book called After The Snow and i don't remember much of it but i know the protagonist was this boy and he had a cave full of animal skulls that he like worshipped and talked to and i just remember that made me really sad bc everyone thought he was weird for having any sort of remaining spirituality after the world had ended but like god he was doing so well it made me big sad 

say something to your followers:

sorry this post was so fuckign long and depressing! i promise i am usually not this sad! these are just cursed questions. also hey... i love u all.. thanks for putting up with me 

im tagging @brushite bc i love her and want her to suffer thru answering these 

[hotdadlicense]

salty ask list 4, 7, 9, 14 and 17 (XYZ is lawsuit) for 9-1-1- tv show?

4. do you have a notp in your fandom? are they a popular otp?

no! so far i'm vibin pretty much everything that's going on which is NICE.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

NO. though, tbf, i have NOT finished yet and therefore also, have not done a rewatch. and that's usually where i form my more Concrete opinions.

9. most disliked character(s)? why?

okay i don't necessarily dislike any characters so far?? some character sometimes do Things and i'm like hmmmm what the fuck. maybe Don't. but overall i'm having fun and not like, actively tuning out when certain characters come on screen. which is RARE.

if i had to pick ONE, like just pick ONE that i'm slightly SLIGHTLY less endeared with currently? uh eddie. idk WHY okay i literally can't think of why. just something in the past season or so has made me be like hmmmmmmm. but also i love him. but i could love him more, y'know.

14. unpopular opinion about your fandom?

i actually haven't ventured out to any 911 blogs! which is surprising. everything i see about 911 comes from the same like 4 people that i follow that post it so i'm not up to date on the Fandom Drama and Discourse and honestly. it's so nice. love that.

17. instead of [lawsuit mess] happening, I would have made [answer] happen…

kasjhfjkasdhkj okay i am SO sorry about ur hatred of that whole plot line. like i hated it too but like. only simply becos i HATE Family Divided. Found Family Fighting. but honestly due to the fact that i know jackshit about lawsuits and lawyers and court etc etc?? the technical details about all of it barely even made an impact on me askjfksakhd i'm SORRY!

okay i haven't really done a Deep Dive on the Emotional Spectrum of what buck was ~going through~ for that entire debacle but like. there was the earthquake then there was the truck on his leg and he was off work and he was feeling like actual shit and he wasn't! allowed! to work! to be with his family! and they all kept turning him away! like yes, it was for his own good becos, injured, but like. it's BUCK! kids got abandonment issues and family trauma and is the type of person that NEEDS attention and reassurance and like. physical shows of affection. then there was the tsunami and losing christopher and then there was the blood clots at his welcome back party and he was turned away again???? i think there was some more hospital time? my memories getting hazy here but basically buck got kicked like. multiple times while he was already down.

and like the others were trying to show they cared by like. making him not work???? my memories of this specific part are NOT there becos with that plot i was like no lmao i'm not fucking watching until everyones reunited so if this is incorrect, forgive me, but everyone was like 'buck, no. u cant be here.' and buck was all 'bros i Need to be here. i NEED it.'

like they were all trying to SHOW each other how much they cared whilst also NOT LISTENING to each other. DECIDING things for each other instead of establishing some fucking open communication. so BUCK fucking sued them. which, okay drama king. and yes luc, he did it terribly. he did it in a way that no legal binding contract lawyer etc would work but. it's a drama show so that barely pinged my radar, i'm sorry, my dear.

SO BASICALLY all this to say that if EYE was in charge here and writing the story and laying down the ideas and storylines and character arcs, and we HAD to have buck sue them for like idk. the higher ups constant need to always divide The Family on Found Family Shows. then i GUESS we could keep MOST of it the same but instead, and luc omg ur absolutely gonna hate this, but instead!

instead of everyone kinda living in their own lanes and focusing on their own shit (which totally justified and fair btw! deal w ur shit, kids!) maybe if they all kinda looked around and were like 'oh damn. we're falling to bits here.' then MAYBE! if SOMEONE! from the firefam went knocking on bucks door to TALK to him.

and maybe if buck was all "actually, my lawyer said i'm to have no contact with anyone that i'm suing." cos he's such a law abiding citizen etc as we been knew. obviously.

okay THEN if said firefam member was like "oh, cool. they can forcibly remove me from the premise when they get here, then! any who! until then-" holds up some takeaway boxes, "dinner. can probably fit in an episode of [dumb cooking show here] as well. maybe Talk." and just barges in and settles on the couch.

and they TALK. and it's not deep and it does Not get to the root of the problem but it's a fucking START.

then two nights later, maybe a different firefam member shows up, same opening line at the door, and buck tries to get them to leave again, but like, he's barely putting up a fight. maybe the talk circles a little closer to The Issues this time.

maybe another firefam member a few nights later, but this time instead of trying to sort BUCKS Current Life State, they focus on said firefams Current Troubles. some give and some take.

maybe eddie DOES call buck to bail him out of jail. becos they've been in fucking CONTACT. maybe hen vents about her and karens current struggles and doesn't exactly ask, or listen, to bucks advice but like, it's good to TALK and she likes some perspective.

again, my memories of the other plotlines in these eps are HAZY at best and imdb is NOT helping me so disregard pretty much all of this if it DOESN'T make sense. but i just think it'd be neat if they fucking talked. if they sorted some shit out organically. i THINK i understand why buck jumped the gun and was like fuck it! let's sue! but i'd need a rewatch to like. have more concrete thoughts about it all.

BUT HONESTLY. if we could just get that shot of the lawyer telling buck what will happen if he goes thru with Suing them, including how he won't be able to have contact with anyone, and then we had a shot of buck showing up at bobby's. but instead of handing him the serve or what the fuck ever he did, instead! we got buck like, breaking down or something. like if suing was a close call but just didn't happen and instead buck like, took some time to THINK things through in the Big Picture way instead of the I'm Sick And Tired Of Always Being The One Fucking Suffering way and then we jump to the communicating and making up and there's no everyone vs buck, buck vs everyone thing??? that'd be just so much fucking better imo.

[cophoenixseo]

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Each year Google issues at least 500 algorithmic tweaks to its search engine, and with more than 200 SEO factors, keeping track of what is working for SEO is an important thing every marketing manager and business manager must do.Following is a summary of the ranking factors to watch carefully if you desire to be at the top of Google in Fountain Hills Arizona. To start, check out what SEO can do for your local business website.Video: See what a Fountain Hills top rated search engine optimization company can do for your business. SEO ranking company in Fountain Hills partners with Arizona small business owners who want to improve their position on Google.

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In our experience, an integrated search strategy that utilizes both search engine optimization (SEO) and pay-per click (Pay Per Click) is a highly reliable method. To help further inform business owners, executives and marketing directors on the virtues of PPC and SEO, continue checking out for more extremely valuable details as it relates to paid advertising and search engine optimization. To start, Pay Per Click provides laser focused presence.

Top ranking factors:

# 1 – Optimizing for mobile discovery is essential.Over half of standard searches occur on a phone. Isn’t it time that you made your site mobile responsive? Do this work, and there is a guaranteed search engine optimization and conversion advantage.Video: Why you should care about mobile SEO.# 2 – The value of AMP optimization is increasing.Accelerated mobile web pages (AMP) enables a website on mobile platforms to load more quickly than standard HTML rendered in a mobile browser. Google has been suggesting that AMP compatible websites may perform better in search. Don’t wait, get your site mobile ready with AMP.# 3 – Better design leads to enriched UI/UX and deeper engagement.Google likes sites that give users the best experience, and those which make finding the information the user is requesting easy. If you are looking to rank high in the SERPs, the design of your site is an important ranking element, and focus should be paid to it. To learn more about the role of video in marketing, watch this video.# 4 – Page load time must be reduced.Make sure that all your images are properly labeled, and metadata fields such as the ALT tag are used properly, the extra time to scale your photos and reduce their size, will be worth the investment. Google is now taking into account page load times, as a factor for ranking. In addition to using a photo optimization product like JPEGmini, a fast and simple way to reduce image sizes is to ensure that all your photos are scaled to the optimum size needed. Don’t upload images that are larger than the web design requires. Example- you do not need to use a 1000px tall image if the window in your design only displays 300px.# 5 – Google RankBrain and artificial intelligence now control search.AI is now driving everything Google is doing, whether developing self-driving cars or a next generation search engine, AI, beginning with Rank Brain is the power behind the search engine results pages (SERPs) served by Google. Local Fountain Hills SEO agencies will need to invest more R&D dollars to discover the most effective ways to tune business websites for search engine performance and discoverability.# 6 – New content dominates Google.For Google to rank your website in your local niche, you must create engaging, original content. Google can track nearly any site, which means that content which is not unique or does not add value to a subject will have a difficult time getting discovered.# 7 – Content that is longer is more likely to rank.If you are still writing short form posts you must reconsider your approach. Research is showing that Google is now rewarding posts of 1,500 words and more, with better ranking results. However, in the area of search engine optimization, it can be difficult to make a hard and fast rule on the preferred word count of an article that is needed to rank.# 8 – Search engine results are now including rich snippets, schema, FAQs and pre-populated information fields.For searches where Google can identify common questions, FAQs, or other key information, they are beginning to fill a larger area of the home page with data lists, including FAQ blocks so that the consumer can get their question answered without needing to select a search result. You must use schema in order to improve the odds of being included in Google’s rich data lists such as FAQ’s.# 9 – Social variables carry a ton of weight with respect to website ranking results.At SEO Ranker Agency our team sees that social shares from the referring page are now a top 100 ranking signal. This fact is proven by the more than one thousand first page rankings that Fountain Hills SEO Ranker Agency has delivered where traffic from social media networks, backlinks, and shares, were demonstrated to be a significant ranking condition.# 10 – Voice search and also IoT devices will likely eliminate SERP ranking order at some point.As voice interfaces are growing on smart phones, cars and truck infomercial systems with gadgets like the apple iphone, Amazon Echo, Google Home and others, even more individuals will be receiving solutions from a search query expressed by voice. Not just will remaining in the leading issue a lot more but now, if you are not in the initial or maybe 2nd placement, you are not going to get any one of the search inquiry outcomes.# 11 – HTTPS will become important for ranking.Net security experts see Google pushing HTTPS ever harder as cybercrime and also hacking continuously present an actual threat to the globe. Google as well has talked about the prioritization of HTTPS as if it could be a ranking variable not to ignore. Does this mean that if your site is not an HTTPS website, that it will stop ranking? No. If you desire every side feasible, do not overlook HTTPS.# 12 – The Facebook internet search engine will obtain more and more individuals.All Facebook users are utilizing the FB internet search engine. Expect this trend to speed up as customers do not desire to leave the Facebook application just to look up something on Google.# 13 – Titles and Summaries with far better click thru prices will certainly rate greater.Google will certainly continue satisfying publishers who’ve gone the additional mile to create catchy titles that obtain clicked. Google is currently tracking involvement, click thru prices (CTR) as well as time on web page.# 14 – Even more individuals are searching for video clip, infographics, photos and also multimedia web content.If you’re not producing various kinds of aesthetic web content to improve your brand name online, you must seriously take into consideration taking the campaign on. Users are currently becoming aware of the indexing capacities of Google, Bing, and Yahoo! – as well as they are performing look for videos and even scenes inside of video clips. To stick out from your competitors, initially, start creating more visual web content. Don’t fail to remember to release it with as full metadata as well as markup message as feasible.Video: Discover the advantage of SEO compared to paid traffic.If you are wondering, “how can I improve my ranking results?” then you will want to read on.Fountain Hills Search Engine Optimization – totally free Google traffic, is the most economical sales development technique for any organisation that provides their products as well as solutions to regional customers. So what is far better, SEO or Pay Per Click? Frankly, we can’t answer this question without analyzing the business’s objectives and objectives.A securely niched down company with little competition in an extremely small solution area and also a requirement for just a few leads per week might establish strong visibility in the neighborhood and also natural search results page with a standard Search Engine Optimization consulting plan.An ecommerce shop contending with very first web page SERPs from Amazon, eBay.com as well as various other major on-line sellers, is likely going to battle in organic search.A digital advertising and SEO approach with focused short- and also lasting goals is essential. Does your company demand leads now? What is the paid search (PPC) expense each click for your targeted keyword phrases? Does your site have authority? Are you playing the lengthy game online or trying to find short-term results just? Exactly how hard is your natural search competition?CTR and trust are in favor of natural search, so why would an organisation think about paid search? Here are a few PPC benefits:Paid search controls the content are above the fold. In short, on a smaller screen, you will not need to scroll to see the ads, however you will have to scroll to see all the organic search listings. Bear in mind that Pay Per Click advertisements are simply that: ads, which implies as a marketer you will have more control and area available for providing your marketing messages.Google offers the option of a visual shopping ad that can help a user envision exactly what they are selecting/clicking. This ad type enhances considerably the advertisements CTR by using a feature (visual carousel) that is not offered in natural search.By running paid search ads, you will be seen by the right people and guarantee brand presence. In addition, Pay Per Click allows for a much tighter control of the budget plan. Determine what does it cost? you are willing to spend daily and this is all you will be charged. Pay Per Click also offers the small company owner an extremely targeted way to get in front of prospective clients or customers. Organic traffic is a bit more scattershot while advertisements could be targeted by search keywords, time of day they will be served, the day of the week, location/geography, language, device and customized audiences based upon previous visits to your site.Developing a strong organic search presence can take time, making SEO a medium to long range play. On the other hand, a Pay Per Click campaign can be ramped and return favorable results in weeks. Because there is no faster method to get in front of your audience than with Pay Per Click, numerous companies utilize Pay Per Click while the authority of their site is being built up and SEO tactics take a firmer hold.Where organic search obscures keyword information, there is no constraint with paid search (PPC). Speed provides agility and enables fast feedback on brand-new slogans, messages, item announcements, with the usage of short PPC advertisement campaigns.A PPC account that’s properly managed can be an inexpensive way to create leads. If you are an organisation targeting a local service area with a minimal set of keywords, you will find that Pay Per Click can produce ample leads without discussing spending plan. AdWords does not struggle with the turbulence that the organic outcomes battle with. Cautious usage of match types and analysis of the search term reports allow for the elimination of junk search and an increase in roi.The benefits of Pay Per Click and also Search Engine Optimization may not be so obvious, however they consist of the following points of consideration.1. Conversion information from Pay Per Click keywords can be helpful to determine the most reliable organic search (SEO) strategy.2. Pay Per Click can ramp site traffic by targeting clicks in paid and organic for high-performing keywords. E.g. If you are winning the Google AdWords auction and rank in the leading 3 SERPs for the very same keyword, you can expect approximately 50% or more of the overall search volume.3. A/B testing of Pay Per Click landing page and advertising copy can be fed into your natural listing and landing pages.4. Usage PPC to evaluate your keyword method prior to devoting to seo task efforts.5. Talk to users in all stages of the consumer journey from preliminary item research to the competitive contrast, through to the purchase choice phase, with business intent keywords.6. Look huge online and increase the self-confidence and awareness in your brand and business with a robust natural and paid existence.7. Remarket to your website visitors on other residential or commercial properties using the Facebook and Google pixel on your website. This is an extremely effective method that allows you to remain in front of visitors to your site even after they have actually left.There are numerous advantages to paid search advertising, but there are also pitfalls advertisers must be cognizant of.1. Pay Per Click is reasonably simple to copy which means your competitors can quickly imitate your advertisement copy, images and call to actions. Effective Pay Per Click project management requires monitoring quotes, Quality Ratings, keyword positions and click-through rates (CTRs). A few of this work can be finished with automation, but regardless of the technique, you must guarantee that a system is in place to track this important information.2. Paid search marketing (PPC) needs an upfront and continuous investment. There are various options available for PPC that can influence your outcomes. If product listings control the screen for the keywords you are targeting; then text based ads might not convert.For this reason, it’s essential to do some research prior to you release your Pay Per Click campaign. Make sure to Google the keywords that you are targeting and be specifically cautious to view what type is being shown.Enhance search traffic to your service website with search engine optimization of your business website.A major reason to buy SEO is due to the power of online search engine to enhance your awareness. If you have presence in the search engine results pages (SERPs) for the keywords that you are targeting, this will put your service in front of a tremendously high number of possible customers. The very best method to consider SEO is that SEO drives brand name awareness and is free Google advertising.Branding is another benefit of SEO in that search terms and educational questions related to your company can have a favorable branding benefit. As your brand name is returned in the search results, it can (and generally will) become more associated with and trusted by searchers, and this will lead to a purchase decision.Research studies have actually shown that online search engine users trust natural outcomes as being more credible than paid marketing. Lots of users avoid over the ads and go directly to the natural outcomes as they presume that Google likewise rates the natural websites more extremely. Being visible on the first page of Google will give your business a stamp of approval that can be the difference between someone clicking on your listing (ranking) or your rivals.Finally, do not forget the function that favorable reviews play in getting your target customer to call you. It’s a fact that even if you rank higher than your rival if they have more stars showing outstanding evaluations, this can make all the difference in your conversions. For numerous service based organisations, evaluations are vital.Search engine optimization increases site traffic as the greater you rank, the more visitors you will have to your site and the more chance to drive awareness of your business. Though traffic from natural search is complimentary, developing exposure requires time and effort, as Google has decreased ranking results substantially over the last couple of years. The benefit of SEO is that unlike Pay Per Click, once you stop investing, there is a slow decay to the rankings. This does not indicate that you shouldn’t continue purchasing preserving your rankings, however it means that you do not need to invest the very same amount.As an outcome of the points above, organic online search engine traffic by way of search engine optimization can supply an enhanced ROI over standard kinds of paid media consisting of Pay Per Click. While search engine optimization is at first not low-cost or easy, it remains in the long run far more cost-efficient than a lot of other marketing strategies and delivers more powerful brand name awareness and traffic to your organisation site. Unlike paid search marketing or Pay Per Click, totally free traffic from Google does moist up the moment you stop paying.This suggests that SEO will generate more clicks from a natural search listing than from a highly placed paid advertisement. Keyword-level experimentation is required to make sure that you are not paying for clicks that you could get for free, however to maximize outcomes and that is qualified leads, some companies find that visibility in both paid and organic listings are required.Since of the constantly altering and dynamic nature of the web, many business owners and marketing executives find that dealing with an expert digital marketing and SEO specialist is the best way for them to make sure the best outcomes. Organic traffic can take time, and the proficiency needed to beat those above you in the SERPs is substantial. Which is why, if you are simply beginning, and the keywords you are targeting are already “owned” by high authority websites, you may need to rethink your technique.A proficient search marketing specialist need to have the ability to help your team in establishing content assets to search engine ranking dominance. A # 1 ranked search engine optimization company will show their worth by helping you develop safe, sustainable links so you can accomplish the site rankings that will propel your business to the next level.Click here to receive a zero cost seo audit and discover how search engine optimization can impact your business.Discover what local SEO in Fountain Hills Arizona can do for your business online presence. Watch this video:

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[stevedonnellyfaith-blog]

The Storage Locker (Post 89) 5-20-15

                        I popped the door open, looked at the inside space and my heart sank. The storage room looked way too small for the lion share of my earthly possessions and I really had no backup plan.  It was Sunday morning and the moving van was due to arrive in twenty minutes of so.  A serial procrastinator, I had waited until Saturday morning to finally procure a self-storage location for the shipment that Nick and Abby had served into my court from California on Monday and Tuesday.

The semi had crossed the continent at an inexorable pace throughout the week like the white blipping ball in a game of 70’s electronic pong.  I knew I would have to deal with the rolling truckload eventually but the sand in the hour-glass sifted slowly enough that I kidded myself that I had more time … until it nearly ran out.  During Thursday lunch I web searched for storage locations; most of them were clustered around Kent, Ohio for summer use by vacationing university students.  On Friday, finally, I called the first one on my list of four and hit pay dirt immediately.  

A helpful woman named Tina could rent me two large lockers that would give me extra space to organize and stage my stuff in the future when I finally go to move into the house that I have yet to identify, make an offer on, get under contract, etcetera. I arranged to meet Tina on Saturday morning still well ahead of the glacial progress of my household goods which might have then been crawling through Nebraska or Iowa.

Next day, I left the house bright and early on Saturday morning, well actually at least bright but more towards 11 AM as I am a late riser on the weekend.  In route I dropped Natalie off at a friend’s house to organize a lemonade stand project that they were completing as part of a school activity.  From there I proceeded down a state road and arrived at the locked door of the office of the aptly named Storage Company.  The locked door was unexpected so I broke into a cold sweat at this seeming roadblock to my first recent concrete participation in the family cross country migration from California back to the land of snowy slush, smoldering rivers, and appallingly bad professional football.

Luckily, Tina answered the door as the lock was an apparent security measure necessitated by some unsavory clientele called college students.  Her office reminded me of a pawn shop without merchandise or the television repair shop that my father used to patronize back in the days of cathode ray tubes.  The room was dressed with faux wood paneling, dingy vinyl floors and only lacked a Budweiser clock to complete the décor of a finished basement circa the dawn of the Age of Disco.  Maybe my marathon sessions of Zillow surfing is beginning to jade my latent real-estate sensibilities.

Anyway, Tina let me in and I began to process my paperwork. Things proceeded slowly as she was multi-tasking.  Tina was also helping a heavily accented young Asian coed from the university who had discovered that the small sized locker purveyed to her did not match the large load in the U-Haul van that she had also rented from the same location. I kibitzed with a representative from my insurance company while Tina strolled out to do a walk-thru of my prospective lockers and to try to engineer a resolution to the student’s problem.

That’s when the steady slope of my progress did a loop-d-loop. Tina returned to the office cave and announced that there was an issue: both of my units were flooded from some previously unidentified roof damage.  My lockers would not be my lockers as neither room could be repaired in the near term and my traveling effects did not consist of a load of swimming pool noodles and rubber inner tubes.  Other than those two lockers that had inadvertently been equipped with spa facilities, the site had no other units available that might suit my needs.  I have no idea how things turned out for the young lady and her predicament, but my haphazardly laid plans had definitely placed their foot squarely on a greasy black banana peel.

A resourceful customer service professional, Tina soon resolved my dilemma with a price match at a sister facility that was headquartered within a couple miles of where I had dropped off Natalie.  The single locker that I finally rented was in a third site located conveniently at the nexus of the three towns that I am targeting for my house search.  The only issue was that I would be renting a single unit unseen until the morning of the arrival of all my stuff.  The whole business seemed of an angelic Candid Camera prank staged in retribution for my agreeing to delivery on the morning of the Lord’s Day.  Obviously, Sunday AM delivery also meant that the rental office would be closed; there would be no safety net for the operation. Hauling an appliance that didn’t fit to my parent’s house with a Chevy Aveo is not a viable contingency plan.

So I was pretty apprehensive as I promenaded my Aveo on a 5MPH circuit through the facility ostensibly to make room for the moving van, but also surreptitiously casing the locked hasps of the other lockers in hopes of spying an unlocked unit where I could squirrel an odd dozen boxes for a couple of hours if the unload went badly.  Finally, I opened the roll-up door for a second time to unveil my quaint cubby to Matt, the polite semi-driver from Allied Van Lines.  My household goods needed to fit there, but I waited nervously hoping for a positive diagnosis from my friendly shipping professional.  Matt and his crew were surprisingly unastonished by the small size of my rental unit.  They said they could fit everything in with no problem.

The news was a great relief, but also simultaneously deflating.  The stress of being at the potential epicenter of a colossal screw-up was immediately calmed.  I’m sure my blood-pressure plummeted by ten psi quicker than a Patriot’s football, but I was also disheartened in a way that end result of my fifty-year secular endeavor in collecting cool stuff had reaped such a meager bounty.  After inspecting the minuscule sanctum that would house the remaining cache of a half-century of acquisitions, Matt and his crew were confident that my stuff would slide right inside.  In a way I felt like I had failed as an American male.

And I will say to my soul, "Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry."' "But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?' "So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God." [Luke 12:18-20]

I understand that while men judge each other based on the amount and quality of acquisitions, in actuality, Jesus will critique my earthly sojourn based on my actions, inactions, thoughts and emotions, the evidence of my loving demonstration that I desire life with Him and am of His flock. My energy and concern ought to be towards the needs of my neighbor and not towards my toy box, which still holds an unfortunate spiritual power over me that webs my soul to the little-used air hockey table that Pam sold before we emigrated from Fort Wayne to California. I understand that Jesus is helping me be free from the material world in stages as each season change of life seems to begin with a garage sale or trip to the dump, but jettisoning junk does not come easy to me.

I don’t know whether my journey through this life will end in a car crash, as Natalie once dreamed.  If her nightmare proves prophetic, I will still probably be in possession of too many items of no import, but I am hopeful that their value to me will, in the future, be at a commensurate level to their eternal worth. God may, instead, choose to continue to empty my ditty bag of material possessions in stages as He has throughout the last decade – an air hockey table here, an extra well-used and dated couch there while my accommodations shrink from 3000 SQFT to 1500 on down to 1200 until I just possess a disposable toothbrush and the current hospital gown that I will own only until my next sponge bath and linen rotation. Whichever way I go, I understand that it will be to my benefit as part of my preparation for eternal life.

So I sit here writing in a my muggy Aveo, mercifully ignorant of whatever the vacuum noise is on the obscured business side of the moving truck where a crew of three wrestles my gear into a mini confined space – at least there is no sound of a buzz saw.  I am sure that there is steady progress being made on shoving the collections of my life into that small spider hole that Matt, the mover, approved. The weather is oscillating annoying as it does in Ohio between quick drizzle and sunshine with the result being that I have to keep adjusting my car windows.

Anyway, the only packed possessions I really care about that will be stored are pictures, letters, family videos and a wedding album that is mostly uploaded to Facebook already anyway.  My memories won’t need props once I get into the after-life, I’m sure. In the short term, if a Mid-Western tornado launches my rented portion of this facility and peppers Portage County with the contents my locker, there is nothing in there that I haven’t done without for two months already. The long-ago discarded, one-time cherished hockey game is adorning somebody else’s basement somewhere in Indiana.