#trying to get in the habit of recording more in depth processes its hard when ur lazy -w-

[alienssstufff]

*geminitay for new life series manifestations*

[notes undercut]

>mix between her S9 outfit with the skirt and the default skin with the overalls: something cute yet easy to move fast in.

>alternatively could have been a centaur - i still want her to be a centaur u_u

>a practice on details to a degree that can be easily translatable to other media, not too complex -yet still interesting as a design

[kashuan]

All right, there are quite a few things that come to mind with a question as broad as this, so here’s my best attempt to sum up what character design means to me in like 5 minutes :,D. I’m going to start with a few very quick sketches that talk about more my general approach to drawing, but I’m going to build up to how it all connects with character.

Step 1) Find reference! Whenever you can, use reference, it will always make your character’s posing look 100 times more genuine than anything you can pull from your brain, and that’s nothing to feel bad about. It’s not cheating because we’re not stopping at Step 2 either, which is where the misnomer comes in that you’re just ‘copying’ (protip: even step 2 isn’t a straight Copy; as long as you’re not tracing, you’re not copying, and even tracing has its uses for personal studies). I could do a whole answer of it’s own about picking your reference, but I’ll keep it short by saying: not every reference will fit every character. Keep in mind your character’s attitude when choosing your ref. Some poses are so generic they’re one size fits all, but even this very simple pose has unique character to it. The way the legs are posed, to me, gives it a young and girlish feeling, and depending how you played with the expression, you could even make it come off shy. An overbearingly confident character, while also taking an arms crossed pose, will likely position their legs differently, assuming a stance that takes up more space, etc.

Step 2) Draw pretty much exactly what you see first, but keep it simple. Think of the body like individual shapes; anatomy is not the focus right now, and you’ll actually hinder yourself if you hone in on that first. What you want to do at this stage is capture what the pose is generally doing; character isn’t involved yet Step 3) Now, working off 2′s framework, start considering body type. If you skip the previous step, you might have a hard time capturing the gesture correctly, since it’s a lot for your brain to juggle at once. When I sketched these two different body types, I built it straight off the first drawing, erasing lines as needed.

So the first image includes some extremely basic body type variations, this one pushes that idea further. 1 is the basic frame from the last image, while 2 is about playing with proportions. There are a lot of ways you can play with proportions, and as I’ll come to sound like a broken record about: make those decisions thoughtfully. For example, when I made this version shorter than the reference base, I had to consider exactly where I wanted her to lose that height. Here, I made her shorter waisted, took a little length from the legs, and gave her a squatter neck as well. You can do one of these or all of them. Just keep in mind those are all individual options. Letting your train of thought stop at ‘this character is short/tall so I’m just going to generally shrink/stretch their body’ means you’ll run out of variety pretty fast, and sometimes the overall proportions can end up looking wonky (though there’s always exceptions to the rule, remember that the individual body parts should remain correctly scaled in relation to each other). Image 3 is another approach to proportional manipulation, except rather than focusing on height, it focuses on fat distribution and to a lesser extent bone structure. Again, there’s so many individual places you can focus on here, make sure to mix them up. Arm size, shoulder broadness, chest and hip size, leg thickness and musculature, foot and hand size and so forth.   Image 4 is a further exaggeration of image 3 and the lines have started to get a little more stylized. While image 3 is still reasonably realistic, 4 is just starting to cross into cartoon territory. Advantage of 4 is that when you are able to push the proportions further due to the leniency of style, you can sell a clearer idea and a clearer character. Downside is, well, it looks more cartoonish now, and depending on the needs of your image that might not be what you want ie: it can look like a mistake rather than a purposeful choice if everyone else around the character is drawn more realistically.

Also… I see variations on this general advice quite a lot for women, but don’t forget about doing the same for men. It’s great to see how eager a lot of artists are to experiment with the female form that is simply absent in a lot of mainstream media, but I find that men really tend to fall by the wayside here even though they often get equally shallow treatment in the mainstream. There’s usually like 2-3 ‘go-to’ body types for men and that’s it. Men’s bodies can have the exact same amount of variety as a woman’s, including the individual ways the fat can be distributed on it, and the assorted ways their proportions can be played with. Whenever I find an artist that does this it’s like striking gold to me tbh. 

So there’s some very rough hows. But, perhaps even more importantly than any of that, is WHY you make these choices. This is going to get a little stream of consciousness, but with a question this broad, I tried to hit on as many general points I could think of in regard to my own process.

-When I start to design a character, I really need to have an understanding of them first. This includes things like backstory, personality, habits, so and so forth… Yes, all of this stuff shows up in their design, even if it’s just a drawing of them standing straight up. This isn’t just like ‘this character got this scar at age 7 so I need to know where it goes′, I mean in depth info about them. I touched on this a little bit earlier, bringing up the different ways a character would assume the same general pose, but let me expand on that. -What do I mean by personality? So there’s the most obvious answer, which is that a bubbly character will assume bubbly poses, a sullen character will slouch more, etc… But let’s take it further than that. This is a concept I’ve touched on in past tutorials, but here’s a quick recap. A character’s personality involves their opinions, for one; how do you make that show up in their design? Well, one of the most obvious questions I always ask myself is: what is their opinion on their own appearance (the thing we are drawing)/how do they want to be perceived by others? Consider a strong character. I see a lot of artists who take this thought as far as: okay, this character is strong, so I’m gonna throw a 6 pack on him, maybe a nice pair of guns, and call it a day. Which leads to like, nice art, but also...kind of bland? I think that’s because this is a rather half-baked approach. How can we take it further? Ask yourself more specific questions. Is your strong character concerned with being perceived as an ‘ideal’ sort of fit by others (the type you give that showy 6 pack to) or does that not matter to them? (more likely to look ‘chubby’ if not outright fat, though probably is just as if not more capable of actually doing some real heavy lifting than saran wrapped abs man). If they’re some kind of mystical being that can look like whatever they want (ie: the anime waif that can also lift 1000 lbs-trope), you should still take into account their personal perspective on appearance. Don’t just stop at ‘this guy/girl is strong so they’ll look super shredded’ or ‘they’re magic so I’ll do whatever’. Doing this, you’ve instantly lost a chance to inform the audience more about the individual there beyond ‘they’re strong’ -Break it down further with their habits. What is their daily life like? If they’re running ten miles every day they should probably have some strong looking legs. If their job involves a lot of lifting, maybe focus on the upper body more and leave the legs less defined. Do they eat a lot? Or drink? The way the fat distributes in both these cases will be noticeably different (and this isn’t even taking into account points like an endomorph vs an ectomorphs body, which I always suggest reading up on). I’d definitely recommend drawing as many different body types as you can just as studies, in order to add these variations to your mental library. I’m sure every artist has seen this popular athlete line up by now, but really study images like this. Don’t just mindlessly copy what you see when you create your own characters though; think about why those athletes have the bodies they have, what they specifically did to get them like that, and how that can apply to your character’s own life. -One thing that has always bothered me is how often artists are afraid to use the head (not the features; I’ll get to that in a second) as an extension of the body when it comes to imbuing it with variety and character. While it is absolutely possible to have a thin face and a fat body (as is any combo), it’s another missed opportunity not to experiment with chubby cheeks, a soft jawline, etc. It’s a cliche to mention him at this point as an inspiration, but one of my very favorite things about Mucha’s art was how he was able to make fuller faces look so beautiful despite being a rather nontraditional approach (so many art books try to tell you this is a big NO). example, example. These faces actually look like real individuals to me than a drawing that focuses too hard on being generically aesthetically pleasing. -So, facial features. A face with less traditional features isn’t just going to be more memorable than Stock Beautiful Face #73, but it’s basically a more zoomed in version of informing the audience about the character in the same way the body does. -Know tropes, play with tropes, do not rely on tropes. Sunken bone structure, long features-guy will always pretty much read like a villain (or at least someone off-putting), but find somewhere to make the formula your own. Give him thicker eyebrows or big ears. Give the girl with the standard doll-face a nose that sticks out a little more prominently or a crooked smile. -Speaking of are so many different ways to draw a smile, do not underestimate the mileage you can get out of this one feature alone. Artists tend to have a favorite way to draw smiles, in my experience, but remember your character. Would they have a big toothy grin, a handsome ‘cool’ looking smile, a small shy lopsided one, ones that touch the eyes, ones that don’t… This is probably a repetitive point by now but just do whatever you can not to draw the exact same feature on two different characters, and make sure to think through your reasoning for every choice you make. To me, it’s always immediately evident if an artist really knows their character or if they’re just trying to make something aesthetically pleasing. The former is always more attention grabbing in my opinion. -One of my favorite things to consider when designing a character who’s part of a family: genetics and how you can play with them to inform the audience more about the character’s story. Does this character take after their mother or father? How? Why? Why why, you might ask? This isn’t a photo of a real person, this is an illustration that you should be making deliberate choices about every step along the way. It’s one thing to draw a character that looks like their parent simply because logic dictates they should, another to make meaningful decisions as to where and why they do. Some examples: He has his father’s eyes because they carry the same intensity and other characters are a little put off by him because it (conversely, maybe he’s such a gentle character that this detail stands out twice as strongly). He has the same hair as his father, but he styles it differently to avoid the association. She has her mother’s nose which everyone compliments her on so shes happy to be seen in profile. She has her father’s broad shoulders and she’s a little self conscious about it so she tends to wear baggier clothing. Etc etc! In all these cases, you can communicate these details through even a simple drawing of the character standing alone, and should try to as often as you can. -In the end, the only way you’re going to know how to draw all these different details, whether they be different body types or different facial features, is by studying real people. Draw as many different kinds as you can, add them to your mental library. Your reference will never give you everything you need to work it, and I’m not sure if that’s maybe what this question as getting at-- if I have a reference folder of go-to ‘types’ or something. I don’t. I have a folder of poses labeled with characters I think they’d fit, and that’s about it. If you’re just imitating what you see in a photo, you’ll always be drawing That Person, not Your Character. So you are going to have to pull some of it out of your brain. Note, however, the important difference between just ‘making it up’ and recalling information you’ve studied in the past. That said, while on this last topic of expanding your mental library, that includes not just doing studies, but also learning and observing the ways other accomplished artists work. Here are some of my book recommendations when it comes to those which have most helped me in regard to this particular subject. This includes books that specifically tell you how to vary your body types, but also ones that just have a lot of examples of different kinds: Morpho: Anatomy for Artists Morpho: Fat and Skin Folds Famous Artists School Course in Illustration and Design (If anyone is interested in this one and has trouble finding a non $500 copy, hit me up and I’ll help you out) Spirit of the Pose Anatomy Lessons from the Great Masters Drawing People: How to Portray the Clothed Figure Figures from Life (my favorite currently; not the most varied array of figures but he goes in depth on how to successfully grow an academic study of a model into an illustration influenced by your own ideas and personal style) If you found this answer helpful, although it isn’t specifically about character design, I go a little more in depth about some of the topics I briefly covered here (such as choosing the right reference, good vs bad reference in general, honing in on shapes, pushing the pose, etc) in this short book of mine :>

[cristalconnors]

BEST SONGS of 2019

20. “MOTIVATION”- Normani

“Why would we ever do something instead of falling into the bed right now?”

Watching the 2019 VMAs, it was easy to feel despondent about the current state of mainstream pop. And then Normani descended from a basketball hoop, breaking up a string of lifeless performances of cookie-cutter top 40 with a preposterously physical tour de force that harkened back to an era when pop fame felt like something closer to a meritocracy, when talent mattered more than spectacle. It felt like a major arrival: at last another pop goddess that truly had all the goods. The public may not have caught up to her quite yet, but “Motivation” is a statement of purpose for Normani: I’m here, I’m very fucking talented, and I’m not going anywhere.

19. “SO HOT YOU’RE HURTING MY FEELINGS”- Caroline Polachek

“I cry on the dancefloor, it’s so embarrassing”

The charms of “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings” are seemingly endless. First, there’s that title that makes you chuckle the first few times you hear it. Then, there’s the pre-chorus that title is effortlessly plugged into: a crystal clear image of lovelorn insecurity placed atop a sublimely simple melody that builds into a harmonious, show-stopping chorus. But the song’s zenith has got to be that bridge, marrying a mind-bending, distorted vocal solo that more closely resembles electric guitar with the singsongy refrain “show me your banana,” effortlessly striking a balance between the highbrow and the silly, casting Polachek as the carefree pop diva she perhaps always should have been.

18.“WAY TO THE SHOW”- Solange

“Candy paint down to the floor”

“I want it to bang and make your trunk rattle.” I think about that quote a lot when listening to “Way to the Show,” the grooviest track on When I Get Home- the one whose meandering funk bass line and countless key changes build to an explosion of synth runs and gun cocking, showcasing Knowles’s growth as both a songwriter and curator of mood as she crafts a singularly hallucinatory, heavenly vision of Houston and the sounds that raised her.

17. “WONDER BOY”- ARTHUR RUSSELL

“I’m a wonder boy. I can do nothing”

The back catalogue of notorious perfectionist and genreless chameleon Arthur Russell is so vast, so varied that even 27 years after he was taken from us, we’re still being treated to new material. Every single song of his that’s been released posthumously, including all 19 tracks of Iowa Dream, feel like their own revelation, each of them a uniquely dazzling bucking of all your expectations of what a song of his should sound like. “Wonder Boy” is unique in how tidily its melancholy, frosty images of impermanence sum up the tragic story of Arthur Russell the man- the brilliant artist who never found success and only ever managed to put out a single album while he was alive- the wonder boy who could do nothing.

16. “I THINK OF SATURDAY”- Moodymann

“I called you on Thursday... I called you on Friday...”

“I Think of Saturday” starts simply enough, listing the days of the week almost as a gimmick, evoking soul and early rock filtered through a house lens, until halfway through the song when the beat drops away, introducing a brief sample of Joe Simon’s “With You in Mind” that’s followed by the reintroduction of the beat, but now accompanied by a recurring distorted, dissonant chord that reframes the song as a sinisterly rousing account of unrequited desire and delusion that refracts itself over and over again. 

15. “SOFIA”- Clairo

“I think we could do it if we tried”

The opening bars of Clairo’s “Sofia” sound like a really good Strokes knock off, but the song quickly reveals itself to be something vastly more interesting, unfolding itself steadily over the course of three minutes as she and producer Rostam Batmanglij subvert well worn pop tropes to craft an exquisitely textured, soul-baring, and ultimately hopeful anthem for young wlw everywhere.

14. “LARK”- Angel Olsen

“What about my dreams?”

Olsen’s widescreen, abstract vision of a break-up song is thrillingly unbound from the constrictions of song structure and narrative, favoring instead the visceral power of strings and drastic dynamic contrast to craft a symphony in miniature, a “journey through grief” as Olsen herself describes it, that announces the bold, panoramic vision of her fourth album.

13. “WALK AWAY”- (Sandy) Alex G

“Someday I’m gonna walk away from you. Not today...”

“Walk Away” evokes the sense of being trapped, stuck in a cycle of recognizing unhealthy relationships or habits and being unable or unwilling to do anything about them, looping the simple two line refrain over and over and over again to weave a hopeless, woozy tapestry of crunching beats, acoustic and electric guitar, mournful piano and harpsichord, and distorted vocals.

12. “THIS COUNTRY MAKES IT HARD TO FUCK” (BJÖRK REMIX)- Fever Ray

“That’s not how to love me!”

Björk isolates the most memorable line from Fever Ray’s “This Country”- “this country makes it hard to fuck!”-and explodes it, distorting it and stretching it across a fearsome sample of the droning, discordant flutes from “Song of the Alféreces and Dances of the Chinos,” evoking a kind of tortured funhouse mirror image of the current state of reproductive rights that rightly recasts Fever Ray’s song as a horror film.

11. “ABOUT WORK THE DANCEFLOOR”- Georgia

“I was just thinking about work the danefloor...”

“About Work the Dancefloor” is Georgia’s ode to the cathartic, restorative powers of the dancefloor, where your worries fall away as you melt into the crowd and language abstracts itself, as evidenced by that perplexing chorus that doesn’t seem to mean anything- and why should it? When you’re lost in her pounding bass and gurgling synths, that incoherence is strangely comforting. You can cast whatever meaning you want onto it and work through it physically, together. 

10. “GONE”- Charli XCX & Christine and the Queens

“I try real hard, but I’m caught up by my insecurities”

The jelly squiggles that criss-cross Charli XCX and her collaborator’s faces on the artwork released for the singles from her latest album Charli suggest a kind of symbiosis, a cosmic intertwining of sorts. But only “Gone” achieves a true melding of the minds, where Charli and Chris’s best and boldest instincts collide, complimenting one another seamlessly in this dizzying vision of insecurity and isolation that unravels into a stunning pop abstraction. 

09. “CELLOPHANE”- FKA twigs

“Why don’t I do it for you?”

Usually for FKA twigs, more is more. Her songs are busy, even the slower ones, packed to the brim with glitches, unusual rhythms, and a million little details that pull attention, giving them texture and making them extremely immersive listening experiences. “Cellophane” pares those idiosyncrasies back. They’re still there, but the focus is twigs’s voice, which bends and cracks and really emotes in a way we’ve never heard. Her voice is naked and unvarnished, allowing her to be truly vulnerable in a way we’ve never heard either, and it’s heartbreaking. 

08. “CINNAMON GIRL”- Lana Del Rey

“If you hold me without hurting me, you’ll be the first who ever did.”

“Cinnamon Girl” is the culmination of every other ballad she’s ever written. They were practice and this is the real deal- a painterly missive on tumultuous love that reads like a pained confession whispered in confidence, something Lana’s always done well, but her composition has never been so exquisite or immersive, so beautifully in concert with her poetry or her velvet voice, or so flawlessly constructed, effortlessly building toward a show-stopping finale that asserts Lana as the postmodern princess of Americana.

07. “COOKIE BUTTER”- Kim Gordon

“Industrial...metal...supplies...”

“Cookie Butter” has got to be the most stunning showcase of the power of Kim Gordon’s voice, as she drags out some vowels, muffles others, attacks consonants and bends words until they don’t sound like words anymore, all atop a trance inducing beat drives towards the song’s unlikely climax- Kim Gordon saying “cookie butter” in the most impossibly distinct way you could imagine that carries the weight of an EDM drop, leading the track into it’s disorienting second half that both clarifies and obscures the half that came before it. Haunting and addictive. 

06. “CATTAILS”- Big Thief

“You don’t need to know why when you cry.”

To hear Big Thief talk about the process of writing and recording “Cattails” on their episode of the Song Exploder podcast, one is struck by how organic it was. Adrianne Lenker describes it as a “magic wind” that swept through the studio, the song kind of falling out of them in one take. That sense of life comes through in the song, the simple, sublime repetition, bounce, and build of it sounding like a transmission from deep within the soul, a cosmic image of nostalgia and grief that is as cathartic as it is heavenly.

05. “GOD CONTROL”- Madonna

“I think I understand why people get a gun.”

“God Control” is ostensibly about gun control, though you’d be forgiven if you had a hard time discerning what exactly she’s trying to say. Like some of her best work, it’s provocative and maybe a little empty, but damn if it isn’t supremely interesting and compelling as hell. Madonna taps into a sense of apocalyptic malaise and skepticism of authority that feels at times remarkably in tune with the public consciousness, at others a grotesque caricature of it, to uniformly fascinating results as she spins a deranged disco yarn that, once those swirling strings hit, is downright euphoric. 

04. “GOLD TEETH”- Blood Orange, ft. Gangsta Boo, Project Pat, & Tinashe

“We gon’ rumble in this ho!”

Blood Orange takes Project Pat’s “Rinky Dink II/We’re Gonna Rumble” and explodes it, gifting it both playful levity and added depth with a rollicking beat minor chord synths respectively, effortlessly criss crossing Hynes’s many disparate strengths and interests in the most effortlessly rousing and joyful track in his entire ouevre, elevated by the powerhouse Three 6 Mafia reunion verses of Gangsta Boo and Project Pat himself.

03. “INCAPABLE”- Róisín Murphy

“I don’t know if I can love, in all honesty.”

“Incapable,” Róisín Murphy’s virtuosic disco epic, stops time. That indelibly simple bass line loops over and over and over again until you’re lost in it, the song slowly building itself on top of it, adding claps here, hi hat there, rising towards a stunning sequence backed by whooshing synths where the song really comes alive, where an almost boastful breakup anthem morphs into a glamorously melancholy self-indictment in which she ponders that maybe it’s her there’s something wrong with, creating a dazzling dichotomy between the pitfalls of introspection and the bliss of the dancefloor.

02. “MOVIES”- Weyes Blood

“The meaning of life doesn’t seem to shine like that screen.”

“Movies,” appropriately, plays out with a big screen gloss. Those arpeggiated synths feel like they’re slowly expanding as Natalie Mering coos atop them, wondering how if movies are fake, how come they’re more real than anything in real life? As the synths suddenly give way to frenzied strings, the song splits itself open, giving itself over wholly to the melodrama, the sweeping enormity of feeling that Mering so masterfully conjures as she longs for the vitality, the simple answers, and the meaningfulness of movies.

01. “DO YOU LOVE HER NOW”- Jai Paul

“There’s a time for everything.”

On June 1, 2019, when I first read the news that Jai Paul had released new music, news so momentous it was accompanied by a red “breaking news” banner on Pitchfork’s home page, I immediately found my headphones and sequestered myself. I knew whatever I was about to listen to would require my undivided attention. Quite frankly, I was shocked it existed at all. After the notorious, devastating leak of his music in 2013, he’d exiled himself so thoroughly that it was easy to believe he was just gone forever. But here it was, the second coming- two (2!) new songs, effectively doubling the amount of  (completed) material he’s released in an official capacity. 

Pressing play, I was a little nervous that it wouldn’t live up to my expectations, that it might somehow diminish the work of his that I’d loved so much, that changed the way I think about pop and R&B. That didn’t end up being a problem. While “He” is excellent, “Do You Love Her Now” is maybe the most stunning piece of music he’s ever written. Billowing, moseying guitars provide the heartbeat for what starts as a straightforward, sublimely simple send up of 60′s and 70′s R&B. But this Jai Paul we’re talking about, and nothing he does is simple. Nuances and complexities creep out organically from the fabric of the song- synths whiz in and out, harmonies soar to the forefront of the soundscape seemingly out of nowhere and fall away just as suddenly, crafting an immersive, richly textured listening experience that is unpredictable, washing over you like a wave, building, cresting, and crashing over and over again. 

[project-ohagi]

Keiji Akaashi x Reader {Haikyuu!!}

The grace with which he had been blessed was astounding, even to his upperclassmen. You always searched for him in the onslaught during break and lunch, hoping against hope that he would gaze your way. His politeness and the blunt way he voiced his opinions were surely going to be your downfall; every time he opened his mouth, your heart began pounding in your chest, and all the blood in your system would surge to your ears and cheeks. The sound of blood swirling around your head almost drowned out your love's magnificent voice. Almost. Once, he caught you zoned-out, on cloud nine, and questioned the intensity of your blush. The handsome setter thought that perhaps you were ill and seeking medical attention. Afterwards, he seemed to make a routine of greeting you every morning, and on the off-chance you happened to meet in the hallways.

Although he never appeared too interested in physical contact, his friend was incredibly touchy-feely. It humoured you for a while, but gradually, the amusement was replaced with fury - that was your man, your gorgeous specimen, and no matter how close those two were, Bokuto was not getting Keiji. You dedicated an entire journal to learning and recording his habits, mannerisms, likes and dislikes, as well as any other helpful bits of information. You wanted to know everything.

Sitting behind him in class had its advantages, because he couldn't tell that you were writing about him, and from your angle, you could garner his mood from the movement of his upper body alone. You didn't need to be an expert at deciphering facial expressions. You were quickly becoming a master on the topic of Keiji Akaashi. Following him also worked in your favour - the way he stood (hands interlocked behind his back) was utterly adorable, so you started copying it. You would try out the things you knew he liked, and also considered joining the girls' volleyball team. However, that way there would be less chance of you seeing his matches up close.

You examined his character in more depth, exploring how he talked to, and acted around, his classmates and team mates. His closest confidante was indeed Bokuto, but you feared that striking up a conversation would lead to some weird places. He was such a loud, rambunctious individual, and you couldn't risk the exposure. Not when you were so near to completing your most daring, yet most exciting plan. It needed perfecting and executing, but that was now only a matter of days. Keiji was quiet, but certainly not shy. Heck, you weren't exactly sure he was capable of reading the mood, but all his little quirks combined to make him so incredibly endearing.

Your Romeo was far more special and charming than anyone else in your life, and you were prepared to go to some insane lengths to keep him caged. Ten foot tall iron bars, and an ivory roof would surely sedate him. He would look so handsome, so perfectly submissive, splayed out amongst your sheets. His hands would turn a hot white as he gripped them, trying to chain himself to reality. The poor thing wouldn't know what to do, lying and trembling beneath you. Nothing would be veiling his perfection from your eyes, so they could feast on what they saw, and it would satisfy them for life.

A sticky white liquid would dribble down his stomach, having been shot out a short while earlier, when your lips closed around his throbbing member, and sultry moans filled the room. Keiji's soft, haggard sounds would be music to your ears - a choir of angels, and your legs would further entrap him. Lining his member up with your aching hole, you would sheathe him inside, relishing in the sudden, pleasure-induced moan that escaped his lips. It would be throaty, in his lustful haze. Leaning forwards, you would forcefully press your lips together, coaxing his tongue out to play. At some point, he might gain control, turning the tide of dominance. Pinning you to the bed, perhaps he would will you to beg, to plead for his glorious sex. He might release you, or he could make you suffer. Maybe he would pull out, so that only the tip remained, or perhaps he would even deny your orgasm, as punishment for screwing with him. Would he do that?

Licking your lips, you imagined all the possibilities, ranging from soft sex to rough sex, to no sex at all. It was entirely plausible that, once he gained the upper hand, he would tie you against the bed, stranding you until morning, or whenever someone decided to walk in and found your naked, or semi-naked body, shaking from the cold, desiring nothing but Keiji Akaashi.

Then again, Fukurōdani would provide the best environment. Plus, it would be much easier to find and lure your prey in a place that he felt comfortable. You might be able to find a jump rope to tie his hands, and maybe the gymnasium's storeroom would be a good spot to launch an attack. However, first came the annoying part: removing Keiji's larger-than-life friend from the picture. You didn't really have to go to the extreme of killing him, but that was always a viable option. No, you could just get someone to help you take his attention off Keiji, and go home by himself. He was constantly hoarding your beloved, never letting you get too close. You could have even sworn he glared at you once, for attempting to limit the space between yourself and the setter. Regardless, he had to go, if only for a few hours.

You crossed your legs, well aware that you were growing too aroused, from your fantasies alone. The object of your (obsessive) affections tilted his head in concentration. You loved this, because it meant that he was working really hard. He was incredibly smart, but never boasted about his grades. You adored his humility. The temperature had risen significantly in the past few minutes, but you hadn't noticed, since you spaced out. However, the heat seemed to affect Keiji, as his blazer was draped gracefully over the back of his chair, and you could see the sweat rolling down his neck. In that moment, all remaining reason flooded out, and you had to stab your hand with a sharpened pencil, just to stop yourself from leaning in and lapping up the substance. Glancing at the clock, you realised that there were less than ten minutes left. You sighed in relief. Keiji's dark eyes flicked to the side, catching a glimpse of your flustered state. He would attest to being concerned. You were a classmate, after all.

He looked back towards the teacher, listening with one ear. The notes in his book were becoming more and more confusing - his focus was wavering, as he tried to disperse it between you and the lesson. He always appeared so cool, so collected, able to dish out the most brutally honest comments without batting an eye, but, a slight panic was building in his stomach. It twisted unnaturally, bringing him to the brink of nausea. Although, no-one would be able to tell, not even if they invaded his personal space, like Bokuto. The extraordinarily beautiful setter often noticed you staring, out of the corner of his eye, but he never said anything. You seemed quite timid, since you scarcely talked to anyone, so he didn't necessarily want to make you uncomfortable. However, while he thought that you kept your head down and got work done, you actually had a very different, very special reason for scribbling in your book, only sparing two or three glances towards the teacher.

Earlier, you had been in the process of writing out, and testing, various methods of torture/execution. You see, Keiji had a bad habit of being friendly around the girls at school. Well, he was an incredibly amiable person anyway, but, much like Aobajōsai's setter, he had a fanclub. They were absolutely obsessed with him.

Although, they could never love Keiji like you did.

Their president was a small-ish, brown-haired female, who compensated for her height by donning these ridiculous, strictly prohibited heels, which gave her a few more inches. She had a horrible, toxic sort of personality, and a smile that could wipe out an entire species. For her, you implemented a very special, very inhumane plan. One day, during lunch, you asked her (privately) about joining the Keiji Akaashi Fanclub. She was thrilled to have yet another member, and she entrusted you with all sorts of written documents, ready and waiting for your signature. The two of you had a clandestine meeting, because you wanted to 'show' her something. You shrugged off all her guesses. There was a spring in your step, and a happy giggle bubbling in your throat. In your bag, an iron contraption sat amongst your school supplies. After placing it (with much force) on her head, and twisting it violently, almost breaking the poor girl's jaw before the fun really started, you hauled her into the furnace.

She had been your first victim.

Proceeding her, were five more members of that detestable, and frankly annoying, club. When they were dealt with, you transitioned into Phase 2, which primarily involved the possible abduction, and definite enchantment, of your love: Keiji Akaashi. So now, you were in class, gazing dreamily at him, and wondering about your plan. It needed a touch more...flavour, so it would, unfortunately, have to wait. At least until tomorrow.

The bell rang, and freedom had never tasted so sweet. Thankfully, your chosen methods of extermination required minimal bloodshed, so nothing was visible on your clothes. Just as you packed away your items, and got out of your chair, a mildly concerned-looking Keiji blocked your view of the door. You recognised a slight imbalance in his stance, indicating that something was troubling him.

"(L/n)-san." He addressed, nonchalantly.

Your response was almost too quick. "Yes, Kei-Akaashi-kun?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "Did you need me for something? You're always staring. It can be confusing."

"Ah..." You guessed he stopped himself from saying 'annoying'. "I can tell you tomorrow, maybe?" You muttered, attempting to stall for time.

Shaking his head, he spoke, "Please tell me now."

This was happening far too suddenly, yet you weren't about to let this opportunity slide. "Um...well, I could tell you on the way back? We go the same way, if I remember correctly."

"Yes, we do. Let's go then." His fingers brushed past yours, causing your skin to prickle.

Right, cool. Just keep this momentum, and everything will go smoothly.

While walking, you spotted him fumbling with his fingers - something he did quite frequently. It wasn't really a sign of anxiety, but you found it adorable. His gunmetal blue eyes were fixated on the road ahead, and his lips had long since been sealed. You desperately needed to take action, otherwise, if your actual strategy did not work, you would completely fail. You couldn't let him go home, but it would seem really strange if you asked him to join you for a cup of tea, or something to that effect. Whilst you were pondering this dilemma, droplets of water dripped down on to your hair and clothes, thoroughly wetting both of you. Since your house was close, and you lived alone, this was the perfect opportunity to invite him inside. Silently, you thanked whatever god was out there, listening to your prayers.

The two of you hurried inside, grabbing some towels and shaking yourselves off. Your (e/c) eyes glimpsed his shirt, now transparent due to exposure to the rain. Gulping, you averted your gaze, attempting not to grow too aroused. Keiji looked around, seeing nothing he didn't expect. Your hallway was pretty barren, to be honest, because everything of personal value was compiled in your room. That is to say, you had lots of...helpful tools.

"Thank you. I figured it might rain, so I gave my umbrella to Bokuto-san." He nodded politely.

Sighing, you stated, "You do so much for him."

"He's our captain. If he loses his cheerful nature, he won't be as good in practise." He clarified, not seeming to understand why you suddenly sounded quite out-of-sorts.

I need some love too, y'know?

You smiled. "I get that. Sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you."

He followed your lead, walking slowly behind you. "It's alright. I should have brought another umbrella, so you didn't get wet."

"It was inevitable."

I'm always wet when you're around, Keiji.

"I apologise anyway." He bowed, halting his movements.

You stopped outside your bedroom door. "Then, how about you make it up to me?"

[glowinggunmetal]

The Fateful Dawns After Sleep

Half a bell after waking Lucien had finished his first mug of tea for the sun, habit twisting the tea cup until he felt the single crack along the rim under his finger, the dip and bare fracture along its edge nothing he had been able to repair.  The tea had been a ... slow thing to figure out but deep into the Dowager's plague he had started to subconsciously time the tea drinking until he working out, to the bell, what the hells the cup did.

He twisted it in his fingers, after the tea had been drunk, and started at the gilded line at the lip and the single crack.

It'd kept him together, when the strain would have resulted in him being benched further or longer, and kept his head... as well pieced as he might've wanted.  He could look back and spot the bells and suns where he had been willing to murder, easily, without any moderation or control; he could look back at the specific times he had almost killed and the fact that he had almost no regrets even now for it.

He should have, he knew.

He refilled the teapot with the herb mixture that he provided for himself, when he was never intended to share his tea - the crushed herbs were intended for settling the constant nausea that Eorzean living gave him, Lucien pouring the kettle over the herbs and then placing the lid on so that he could let it steep.  He had just shy of two bells before the next cup, the Pureblood giving himself an overlap of about ten ticks of the bell to make sure that - whenever possible - he was not without the soothing clear head that it imparted without making him sick.

An artifact of any kind that didn't make him sick?  And that he couldn't break at all?  The teacup was worth its weight in orichalcum several times over, and the Pureblood knew it.

Something felt like it clicked then and he looked around his office, frowning as there was no window streaming in sunlight, no ivory veined with gold...

...should there have been?

Pale eyes closed as he set the tea cup down, hands splayed across the desk as he hunched, towering over the wood and parchment, the tomes and scrolls.  He could not afford to be confused - not the span of even the quarter of a bell that previous episodes had left him dazed for.  He had to be aware, he had to be on point for every bell he was awake because they could not be wasted.  He was not yet willing to try and argue to sleep less - that was a battle that he'd lose with Lukel, let alone trying to make it to Enambris.  and if he tried it with either of them they might renegotiate for more sleep and then he'd have less time for everything.

What 'everything' was, though, was smaller than it'd been before.  He wasn't sure how he felt of that yet - there was an almost deep-clawed fear that his people were not going to be safe enough a-field, even if he did trust Ibakha and Tyr.  It felt like an old fear - that there would be someone like him there, close enough to dagger-strike and then their fragile work would be undone- but there was nothing to spark that other than fears, worries, all of them unfounded and uncontrolled, rocking in his head when he closed his eyes.

Even calm didn't stop fear he'd come to realize in the past few weeks.  He could be calm - terrified but calm, and standing on the thread of control at the edge of the abyss and knowing that he was having to keep himself from any steps by sheer will.  He knew what happened when he took the imposed self-control off his actions and it was hard to claw back 'Luke' from it - harder to stop that bleed from widening as he leaned into the brutal efficiency that was the only way he could safely act, to hold everything together.

Everyone else needed time - to get through their dreams, the same finger-like crawl down his spine as he refilled his tea cup and started to sip.  They needed time to accept the choices they'd made, the sacrifices they'd made in order to stand a chance against the Dowager, and he would be damned if he did not do everything he could to buy them that time to collect themselves.  Lukel's pause, and his help, it was enough to claw back the rest of the bells.

Caelric, Enambris, Sain, Lukel, Isuke and Gideon, Neheon- there was nothing he could do for them, other than just be there.  And how many others were there, who were already making difficult decisions that he couldn't even help...?

His eyes cracked open as he looked down at the steady stack of tomes, scrolls, and his own piles of notes; when Enambris had pulled out more stacks of tomes from wherever she'd been hiding them, he'd begun the process he'd started moons ago of pulling a pile of the tomes up to read.  Somewhere in them would be answers - and if he had a task, he could keep himself off the edge and stepped back into self control.

Lukel wanted him to stop holding himself back but - he closed his eyes again.  If he didn't have the rigid schedules or training and paperwork - the paperwork he still had, yes, but less now as he was able to prepare to turn more of it over to Ibakha's division - to keep himself occupied, he was shifting the bells he spent at the starforge and he'd take the recording Enad had left him and try again.  And then he'd spend more time digging through the tomes for every scrap he could find...

But it cut, that he didn't know what else he could do.  He'd have accepted Their Gift if he hadn't seen the fear that still tore at faces and minds - it had hurt to tell Them that he could never fight at Their side again, because the safety and well-being of everyone else was more than what a single person could ever hope to do.  And unlike the rest, he knew he was turning down another thing he wanted - Their knowledge, again.

His breath sharpened.  

It wasn't worth it, not when he needed everyone to be as operational as possible.  No fears.  No worries.  No doubts.  Whoever took the Gift needed to be trusted.  He'd never get that, never would have it he reminded himself as he reached for the tea again, turning the cup to feel that crack at the lip before he bent his head over his desk again, the long braid of hair falling down his back with some of it spilling onto the desk.  

He was worried.  Every time he took a moment to think, he was worried because he knew, to the depths of his blood and the dredges of his soul, that they were missing too much.  The list of what he knew they needed was longer than his forearm and no matter what he did - send observation equipment to the places he worried over, poured moons into tomes and scrolls - it wasn't enough.  

More tea.

Maybe he'd find how often he'd need to drink his tea so that the worry was less, as well.

[biohackerblogger-blog]

Biohacking and Science: A solution for most of your problems

In this article I’m going to be discussing biohacking—what it is and the different aspects of human biology an individual can improve (or “hack”, if you want to call it that) to optimise their life and cognition. In the next blog I’ll discuss the specific improvements I’ve made in my life and their scientific justifications—with an in-depth focus on nutrition, supplementation and cognitive-enhancement.

Biohacking as defined by merriam-webster is “biological experimentation done to improve the qualities or capabilities of living organisms especially by individuals and groups working outside a traditional medical or scientific research environment”.

While that sounds dramatic, the term could also be described as do-it-yourself biology—making small, incremental changes to your diet, habits and life to optimise your cognition and life expectancy. This hobby likely originated in Silicon Valley, a place popular in many trendy self improvement hacks: The keto diet, intermittent fasting and microdosing to name a few.

We are living in an era of excess. Western supermarkets are packed full of processed, sugary, fatty products that people cling to as comfort food. Social media and smartphones have been tweaked to be as addictive as possible. Even television has been replaced by on-demand streaming services that provide countless hours of mindless oblivion to addicted viewers—so much so that “binge-watching” is now a recognized term in many dictionaries. This combination and more has led to the shortening of the average attention span.

Coincidentally, it feels like every other person in recent generations seems to suffer from some form of ADHD, depression or other mental health issues.

Me, technically a part of generation z, am no exception.

I’ve been an underperformer most of my school career, with every parent-teacher meeting ending the same way: “Alexandru is a very bright boy but he doesn’t seem to be reaching his potential in class.”

I daydreamed, lost focus often and was often unmotivated when tackling complex tasks. My mom has practiced psychiatry for 2 decades and during my last year of high school I saw one of her colleagues who eventually diagnosed me with ADHD.

This shook me. I had believed that I was just a lazy person, not working hard enough but now this doctor was basically telling me that it wasn’t my fault; That I had a learning disability that would always put me at a disadvantage to other “functional” people.

As I made my way through university the same issues kept coming up over and over again and I started feeling hopeless. Medication seemed to act as a bandaid on the problem, working as intended inconsistently. Is this what the rest of my life was gonna be like?—Craving achievement while lacking the motivation to acquire it?

Nahhhh, I wasn’t going to let some abstract diagnosis prevent me from prospering in life.

Enter biohacking:

In my spare time at uni I began researching ways of “curing” my ADHD. The goal: Improving my attention, motivation and cognition anyway I could. I’m a scientist, so it only made sense to solve my problems with science. Little did I know I wasn’t so much as curing a disorder as I was just finding ways to optimise my life using scientific knowledge. I tried different lifestyle changes and recorded the positive benefits of each one—Basically running my own scientific experiments on a sample size of 1. Biohacking is basically tweaking your biology to improve your life.

Diet

As I mentioned before, supermarkets today are full of horrible, delicious processed food. It’s expensive eating healthy and it’s difficult to resist the allure of a greasy portion of chips. Regardless, I think a large percentage of the population seriously underestimate how much your diet impacts your day-to-day life as a human being. A heavily debated study found that judges tended to give harsher sentences just before lunch due to hunger (This study has argued about for years). If even people who practice being impartial for a living are at the mercy of their own biology—that means so are you.

Your body is a complex machine, requiring certain amounts of macronutrients (protein, carbs, fats) and micronutrients (vitamins, minerals) to carry out all of it’s processes efficiently. If any of these numbers are skewed, the machine won’t run smoothly. You can optimise your diet in a number of ways depending on your goals, but the FDA and similar organizations provide recommendations as to how much of each nutrient an average individual requires in a day.

Many of the micronutrients have important roles in our day-to-day lives which becomes apparent when we are deficient. Magnesium plays a huge role in good-quality sleep while vitamin D is important for healthy bones and mood. The world health organisation provides guidelines for what they consider a healthy diet which contains healthy doses of all these nutrients. Obviously, we’re human, not superhuman and we can’t always have a perfect diet all the time. There’s no shame in supplementing your diet artificially, just don't use pills as a replacement for healthy eating habits. Getting blood work done can help you identify which vitamins and minerals you're deficient to inform your dietary changes or supplement purchases.

If you're looking to improve cognition, omega-3 fatty acids are a well-researched staple supplement that is found in high quantities in fish. I could write a whole article on cognitive enhancement and supplements—so I’ll save it for the next one.

If weight loss is your goal maybe consider reading up on the science of the keto diet (a fat heavy diet that pushes metabolism into burning fat) or experimenting with alternative eating habits like intermittent fasting. Hell, I hear great things about going vegan nowadays and you’d be saving the environment while you’re at it.

Play around with it, optimise it for your goals and give supplements a try.

Exercise

The NHS recommends 75-150 minutes of exercise a week for the average individual. Obesity continues to be a huge issue in this country and others so more still needs to be done to encourage public fitness. It seems that many people make the mistake of thinking of exercise as a distraction from more important things like careers and making money, especially as they get older. They say they’re simply too busy and can’t find the time but in reality they’re decreasing their potential to excel in other aspects of their lives. There’s no point in making money if you’re too fat and achy to enjoy spending it.

Exercise is important. As Socrates eloquently puts it:

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

Deep.

Endorphins produced by exercise  make us feel great, we sleep better, we have more energy, we are more engaged with our work—Not a whole lot of downsides. For men in particular weight training is a very well-researched method or raising testosterone levels. A hormone my generation seems to be in significant lack of but in need of due to its important properties. Testosterone has anxiolytic properties, lubricates social interactions and is involved in providing an array of physical health benefits too.

Exercise is free, there are no downsides and a plethora of benefits. It doesn’t so much matter what type of exercise you’re doing so much as you’re doing it on a regular basis. It will suck, especially if you’re not accustomed to regular exercise but once you make it a habit (takes around 21 days to make something a habit), you’ll stop thinking about it and it’ll happen automatically.

Biohacking sure sounds a lot like self-improvement eh?

Sleep

In today’s day and age a good night’s sleep has become a rare treat. It’s like taking a gamble every night and hoping you wake up rested. As a student studying in the UK, I feel like I’m probably the most qualified person to say that. Sleep is very important for humans as pretty much all of our physical processes are regulated to some extent by our biological clock. A clock set by our circadian rhythm (Aka sleep cycle). Small perturbations to our sleep can seriously knock our daily rhythm out of line. Memories are written into your long term memory, waste products are flushed from the brain and the body readies itself for the new day. Everyone is aware their performance drops after a poor night’s sleep.

Here are some things you can do:

Humans need to go through about 4-6 sleep cycles per night to function adequately.

                          Sleep cycle = 90 minutes +/-                  5 * 90m = 7.5 hours

Try to wake up after sleeping a multiple of 90 minutes. If you wake up during the middle of a cycle you’re more likely to feel groggy. 6 hours, 7.5 or 9 hours between bed and wake are what you’re looking for.

Avoid blue light before bed. I’m sure you’ve already heard this one but blue light from screens inhibits sleep. Try a blue light filter on your laptop—Flux is the free one I use and recommend.

Avoiding caffeine, sugar and carbs before bed works wonders for your sleep. A magnesium supplement does too.

Going to bed and waking up at the same time consistently will make sleeping easy and soon your whole body will adjust itself to the routine. The human body loves routine.

Anything else worth mentioning

Yes, meditation is a big one. Specifically mindfulness. If you haven’t already been preached to on the internet about the numerous benefits of meditation, it seems to improve pretty much everything about people.—The ultimate meta-habit for improving all aspects of living. It shows promise in ameliorating depressive symptoms, anxiety, self-control and a lot more.

The mobile app headspace provides a great starting point and for those that want a challenge and want to try their hand at a monk’s life check out Vipassana meditation. Their free week-long retreats are a crash course in mindfulness with lifelong benefits. I tried one this summer and was convinced it was a cult for the first 3 days.

I’ve seen huge improvement in my life after I started applying science to fix my problems. I hope I’ve managed to give an effective overview of my experience in biohacking and given you some well-researched places to get started. If you have a biological background I think it’s a shame not to use that background to optimise your life in every way you can.

Thanks for reading,

Alex

P.S. here’s a short rant:

I think (not all, but a lot) of the recent diagnoses of ADHD and depression could be “cured” by not treating it as an isolated malady caused by some bad genes and poor luck—but as a culmination of lifestyle choices and habits that could be improved upon. Exercise and diet should be the FIRST CHOICE intervention when it comes to treating things like ADHD and depression.

I believe diet and exercise should always precede a chemical solution to these ailments. There are hundreds of supplements and activities that have proven psychological benefits that could hugely benefit humans. Thanks again.

[mysticsparklewings]

2019 Art Summary!

It's that time again when we all look back on the year we've had and reflect, and then look forward to what's to come in the New Year. This only my second year doing a yearly Art Summary piece (I didn't miss February like I did last year!) but I'm grateful for the tradition now. Looking back, 2019 had a lot going on for me and my art; I started out not that different from how I've been handling my art and myself online for the past couple of years, but as the year went on, I feel like I've done a lot of growing, finding myself, and even though I didn't start off in a terrible place, I think I'm in a much better one now. This really was a year of tremendous personal growth for me, both in art and just in life, and I can only hope that continues through the New Year and beyond. (As sappy as that is to say, I really mean it.) That said, let's look back on 2019 in a little more detail, shall we? January: Birthday Wishes I actually didn't have a ton of options to choose from for this month, as I think I was a little burnt out from the last couple of months in 2018 and giving myself some breathing room.  Still, this Shopkin colored to match my actual birthday cake actually remains one of my favorite mixed media pieces I've done. I don't know why, there's just something I really enjoy about how it turned out, for as simple as it is.  And for the record, I think I will be doing another custom Shopkin drawing for my birthday again this year, but I haven't decided anything beyond that yet. February: Floating Away (+ Time Lapse!) So as I mentioned earlier, on last year's Art Summary I discovered I didn't have any submissions dated in February and I hadn't yet gotten in the habit of documenting completion dates for my artwork, and so I didn't have an artwork to put there that I could definitively say was done in February. This year, however, February was actually one of my busiest months and I had a pretty wide variety to choose from. I ended up going with my little hot air balloon, as while it's a bit different from my normal work, I still think it's really cute and it also represents one of my attempts to start making videos of my artwork...Which I've been too lazy to do since the few attempts I did during this month... But who knows? I have a better camera and slightly larger workspace at my disposal, so perhaps I'll try again and be a little less lazy about that in 2020. March: Once a Killjoy, Always a Killjoy Oh boy, if past-me had only known what was to come later this year! March saw a lot of pieces from me practicing with watercolor and new supplies, but I think my favorite to come out of the month was my annual artwork to honor March 22nd, the anniversary of when My Chemical Romance, my favorite band, broke up. Only this time instead of doing pure fanart, I made myself into a Killjoy for the occasion.  (The design of which needs to be revamped a little because my hair is purple now, but that just means I already have one option for the anniversary this coming year!) And once again, this is a mixed media piece that I look back on very fondly. The concept is fun and the end result looks pretty cool. April: Doodle Moon I leaned pretty heavily into honing my watercolor craft in April, and among those efforts, this one is definitely my favorite. (Even if it doesn't fit on this template very nicely ) This one was a bit of an experiment in branching my traditional and digital art together in a different way, and I still really love how it turned out. Although unfortunately, I've yet to return to this technique, simply because I feel weird a lot of the time about "half finishing" a traditional piece and then making a lot of modifications to it digitally. It feels like cheating or being fake in a way to me. But I think I get that hangover from the concept of editing photos online and then passing them off as real & unedited...in which case it's a personal problem that I just need to deal with on my own. May: Butterfly Babe I didn't have a ton of artwork in May, but what I did have were usually bigger/more involved pieces, and this one is no different. I think 2019 is the year when I really came into owning my love for mixed media (which comes in large part from "I'm not good at x thing with y supply, but I can do x effect with z supply really well!") and this piece is a really great example of that. Once again, still one of my favorites and the scan really doesn't do it just with all the sparkle/metallic accents I incorporated. And I think I want to do more involved almost crafty projects like this more often, but that usually comes down to having the right inspiration to make it happen. June: Bug Girl Funnily enough, June 2019 is now my busiest month of all-time (in the almost 9 years I've been here on dA), and yet I only had one "real" piece of art for the Summary.  This was the month when I really got heavy into making my own Swatch Charts/Swatching Resources, and while some did carry over into July, the bulk of it was posted in June. I have to say, I don't think a ton of other people are using the charts, but I've certainly been getting good use out of them! And if I'm being honest I mostly wanted them for my own personal use anyway.  But for the artwork that you see here, this is another mixed media piece, this time commemorating one of my favorite books I've read this year, How to Make Friends with the Dark by Kathleen Glasgow. The artwork itself had some annoying problems in development, but the result is really beautiful to me, and so I think it was worth it in the end. July: Homemade Mini Sketchbooks! This month is more of a craft project than artwork, but I couldn't help myself as these little sketchbooks I made myself are probably one of my most favorite projects I did in 2019, and these first two spawned many more afterward.  It's funny to me because I've always wanted a way to combine my loves of books and art beyond just illustrating my writing (which isn't always something I feel like doing) and this, while maybe not a perfect solution, is definitely a unique way to do that. Plus, while making each book does take a little while, it is usually a pretty fun process now that I've gotten the better hang of it. These first two books aren't perfect, but they kicked off something I think I'll be sporadically doing for a good while to come. August: Mon Cher It feels like a lot happening this month, despite not having quite as much art as other months this past year. The month started off with the end of our family vacation, and I posted a journal when I got back where you can see that part of the reason this month felt so busy is that this is probably when I had the most new art supplies available to me to test out/play with during the year, including some items that I got at the tail end of July.  Out of the options I had though, this artwork seemed like the best choice to represent this month, as just like in April I leaned pretty heavily into using and practicing with watercolors and painting in general (as I dipped my toes into seriously painting with Acrylics this month too) and this is one of my more ambitious watercolor pieces. As I said when I first posted it, it has its mistakes and growing pains, but I still think it's really lovely. September: Fly By the Moon I was actually surprised, looking back, at how busy September was. My second acrylic painting (this one more in-depth than the first), an array of cute kitty drawings which have sort of become a series now, some personal pieces, and two contest entries. (One of which actually won!) I went with the acrylic painting since I'm still very proud of how it turned out, given that I don't use acrylics terribly often and hardly ever I go for realism (even semi-realism like this painting) either. Plus, this one is a nice memory of the two real luna moths that visited us, and I had to admit that it is just really nice to have a full painting on a canvas to hang up too.  I haven't done much more with acrylic painting yet, but I definitely want to. My main issue is that for me it's hard deciding on a good subject for the way I like to paint that I don't feel like would look equally as good if not better with a different medium. But hopefully, I'll find more excuses to break out the acrylics in 2020. October: Ink Dance Oh boy, what a month this was!  Inktober, new mini-magnets, trying gouache for the first time, and on the very last day the news of the decade (at least for me) that My Chemical Romance is back!  I followed my same principle as the art summary last year where it just doesn't feel fair to pick a favorite Inktober or use the wrap-up picture, so that left me with my gouache pieces or this one that looks more like a normal person's Inktober artwork, and out of my options, this is the one I like best. The gouache paintings aren't bad, I just need more practice and this one has more charm to me. And it's also funny to me that I was so concerned about ending up hating this one for the stippling and yet it turned out to be one of my favorites from this year. November: I will be with You The artwork for this month was pretty much a no-contest. I made this piece as a love letter to My Chemical Romance after the news of their Return, and likewise, I poured my heart and soul into it. It just might be one of my most favorite artworks to date; perhaps even worthy of being a "portfolio piece" on my website. Even more so after the fact now that I've seen the Return concert (albeit over a Livestream and not in person because California is like 2-3,000 miles away from me ). I was pretty busy throughout the month trying to keep up with a prompt challenge from Art Philosophy, but even so, I pushed myself to get this piece done and I'm so glad I did. December: Daises on Strawberry Hill Ah, and here we are at the very last. It's funny, the first half of this month seemed to drag by pretty slowly, but then after the second week things picked up pretty quickly (what with the Return concert and all) and I have to agree with my mom that Christmas went by so fast we almost missed that it happened at all. I don't have as much to show for this month, but that's in large part because I've been taking time off for my mental health and to spend time with and enjoy my family. I'm pretty happy with everything I produced this month, but my Looking for Alaska inspired art is definitely my favorite of the bunch. It's very graphic-design-ish and despite at the time having been done rather quickly and not super precisely, looking at it now it reads very cleanly. It's a little outside my normal art realm, but if anything I think that makes it stronger on its own.  I'm still chipping away at my longer review of the Hulu series I originally made it to talk about (like I said when I posted it, I have a lot of thoughts I want to talk about and not rush through), so I am indeed still planning on finishing and posting those...I just don't know when that'll be, considering I've already got a bit of a content schedule for myself going into the New Year, but eventually! Eventually, it'll be done! Overall, I'm honestly very happy with what I've managed to accomplish this year. Just like last year, I did a lot of experimenting with new supplies and new mediums--this time some I thought I'd never touch--and I hit even more milestones, including my first Daily Deviation in November. I feel like I've grown significantly more as an artist and a person this year though than I did last year. And in many ways, I feel like this year has renewed my confidence in my own skills and work. I'm not much of a "New Years' Resolution" type person, as I think the concept as tied to that particular phrase has been...I'll be generous and say overinflated and mistreated...but some of my Art Goals for 2020 are: Post more consistently/regularly (which I worked on a lot in 2019 too) Be more active & engaged on social media (I've already started working on this a little, but for some reason, this is honestly kind of hard for me as I always debate what's worth sharing online and what isn't ) Promote me and my work/art outlets more (Also something I find hard to do) Keep experimenting (Not really a goal so much as my artistic state of existence but whatever ) This past year has been one heck of a wild ready, but I'm more than ready to see what 2020 has in store for me. Cheers for the New Year ahead! ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings Art Summary Template: 2019 Summary of Art Template (Blank) ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[musicandmusing]

Metanoia - Chapter 5

Description: Namjoon lives a double life, if you will. He teaches high school Literature and enjoys it. But in the safety of his apartment, he has his hobby, creating music under the pseudonym RM. His meddlesome friends push him where he stubbornly refuses to believe he can go and clings to the safety net he has created. But how strong can a safety net be when it’s full of holes?

Genre: Fluff and Angsty

Pairing: none, (Namjoon and his self-esteem?)

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Swearing and drinking.

He could barely keep his hands from shaking in his adrenaline-induced craze to bring his broken dam of thoughts out before one of them could be lost in the flood of too much and not enough. Tae leaned so close now that he had pressed himself into Namjoon’s shoulder. Yet Namjoon still couldn’t feel bothered by the lack of personal space, so intent on tearing down his half completed work to rebuild it stronger than before.  

A/N: This chapter has been sitting and waiting for a good day to post. It’s been done for months and I just haven’t hopped on a computer to get it posted and I apologize. TBH I’ve had a cursed week (car died, phone’s dying, hit my head at work) so it felt right to show myself all the hard work I’ve put into this story. It’s a bit of a technical chapter but it felt right. Enjoy! - Cinder

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

I sit in darkness waiting for your storm

The flash of lightning quick as it fills the black that consumes me

I keep my eyes closed to keep me tethered to the reality of you

All shadows and bruises, cuts and rough edges, words sunk deep in my back

A broken rumble shakes my bones out of their slumber

Waking me up to a new view I can’t recognize

Your hands covered my eyes, blindly led by you

Your soft words rattled my heart and tilted my world

Chasing the white rabbit your fictitious words created, I fell through your looking glass

Missed the signs that shouted at me to turn back and listen to the reasons why I shouldn’t

He listened carefully to the sample he’d just added behind the first verse. Feeling unsure about the necessity of it, he muted the track and listened again. Half way through the verse he unmuted it so that the heavy synth beat loop came in on “a broken rumble” and Namjoon smiled. But now that he was building on the bass line with the synth, it felt a little... like he could add more. He went into a folder of his preferred samples and found some hi-hat options and a few snare effects he liked. If he spliced the snare and hi-hat options together, cutting the sound off in the middle and creating an off beat rhythm maybe it would give that sense of off-balance the verse needed. He caught his tongue in between his teeth as he set his plan into motion.

He was nearly done carefully crafting the somewhat complex concept in his editing software when his mattress dipped unexpectedly causing him to let out a less than manly squeal and lean harshly to the right. He whipped his head around to see what had caused the movement and his heart rate immediately began slowing back towards normal. He could only send his best withering stare at his asshole of a roommate who grinned wildly at him while Namjoon continued to clutch his laptop for dear life. Tae had already settled into his pillows like it was his own bed, propped against the headboard next to Namjoon and legs casually crossed in front of him with his left arm thrown across his stomach. Namjoon stared at Taehyung, not having quite recovered from the shock he’d received while Tae had the gall to just take his headphones wordlessly from him. He couldn't even bring himself to react when Tae slid the laptop from his lap and started clicking around, clearly starting the track in its incomplete state. Namjoon couldn’t bring himself to get upset at Tae’s absolute disrespect for his privacy and work preferences as he watched his roommate carefully listen to the track. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he sank into his pillows and stared at the ceiling in resignation.

The whole situation really wasn’t even that unusual. Taehyung had interrupted his work on songs before so it’s not exactly a problem that he was listening to the track unfinished. But he could’ve at least found another way of barging in rather than startling him some like horrible jumpscare in a B-list horror movie. Outside of his already reducing frustration for his friend, he patiently waited for the verdict. As he slowed his breathing into a rhythmic pattern, counting slowly while he waited, Tae began to hum. What surprised him was that the snippets were a melody separate from any existing part of the song. Tae seemed to search for the notes as he paused and Namjoon heard him click the trackpad, to presumably back up the track and try the line again.

Namjoon immediately wanted to pick Tae’s brain on his thoughts but he patiently waited out Tae’s own creative process as he worked his way through the song. He had an idea of what Tae might say though, a backing vocal line or even a duet would maybe add some additional emotional depth. He could already imagine it. Tae’s husky tone could compliment the lyrics in a way Namjoon couldn’t quite capture alone. When Tae finally pulled the headphones down around his neck, Namjoon wasn’t surprised by his first words since he’d crashed into the room.

“I think I can add some vocals to the track.” Namjoon turned his head to see Taehyung’s eyes were shining with barely contained excitement, looking the same as he had just hours before while secondhand shopping. Humming, Namjoon nodded in understanding of the rush of creative possibilities.

“I figured that’s what you were working out.” Tae scooted closer to Namjoon and pulled the laptop to sit more in between them. He started clicking around the trackbar, one headphone pulled over his left ear, clearly looking for a specific part of the song.

“Well I was thinking about adding a chorus-like sound here if you think that could work and maybe a doubling here...” Tae played the song and gestured to the portions of the sound waves displayed on the screen as he described his ideas.

Although Namjoon could just almost make out the music coming through the neglected right side of the headphones, he couldn’t hear the song and so Tae’s words made little sense. In these moments he needed the song in his ear, listening for the potential hidden within the notes already laid out. Namjoon stopped the track and unplugged the headphones, forcing Tae to remove them with a slight look of confusion. He plunged his hand under the pillows beneath his back until he felt the tangle of earbuds he was searching for and pulled them out. Gently, he placed one half of the earbuds into Tae’s right ear as he took the other and scrubbed back to the beginning of the track on the computer. At least he hadn’t added any panning yet so the sound would be completely balanced between the two of them.

“Show me.” He looked at Taehyung with a seriousness that had Tae sitting up straighter, losing the slouch he’d until then been sitting with and adjusting his earbud to sit just so. Tae’s eyes glazed into complete focus on the screen full of soundwaves as Namjoon started the song again. They listened through the song again and Tae sang the parts he had pointed out before. It was just a skeleton of the sound, no words yet, and no additional voices to fill the chorus sound he talked about but Namjoon heard the idea. His brain was filling in the sounds he knew he needed to round out the arrangement and the wheels began to turn.

It dawned on him this could be a full-fledged duet and pulled his notebook out from under the pillow Tae was leaned against and started analyzing the lyrics. He ignored the look Tae gave him for probably his questionable storage technique while he worked, judging by the timing. It was effective and sort of weird but who was he to judge. Tae certainly had plenty of weird habits that Namjoon was privy to but he let slide on an almost daily basis.

His first instinct was to begin by sectioning off the second verse, a possible echo, bouncing the words from himself to Tae. His brain had gone into complete hyperdrive, imagining the possibilities of different breakdowns to include a vocal part, determined to include it now that Tae had convinced him. How will the lyrics change with the vocals. Should the verse slow down to give Tae more time to sing the lines. If he did slow down the verse, would he extend the loops or add new material. On second thought no adding more material. Relooping what was already there should work. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered Tae having crowded his space, leaning into his left shoulder with his head clearly in his peripheral but not enough in the way to disrupt the notes he made to accommodate the changes.

It was an adrenaline rush as he reworked and considered the changes in sound. The familiar heavy thrumming of his pulse took over the longer he dove into his work. He eventually decided to just give Tae the whole second verse and he would take the first verse. Then Tae would double him on the first chorus and they would split the second chorus into the bridge and then back into the repetition of the chorus with Tae backing while Namjoon covers the chorus alone.

You came through like a thunderstorm

You took me over and ran, ran, ran me down

Your symphony of sounds

Drowning out my reason

Gonna go take my shelter and weather your storm

He scribbled over all the original notes for the second verse and started noting his final ideas in bold strokes, solidifying his intention. Tae made a small noise of surprise but nothing that could shake Namjoon’s focus. It had only taken maybe five or so minutes to work it all out and he brought his laptop forward so he could start manipulating the track again. He began clicking around his recording program, sectioning off the areas of his recording where he needed to mute his raps in place of where Tae would sing. He could barely keep his hands from shaking in his adrenaline-induced craze to bring his broken dam of thoughts out before one of them could be lost in the flood of too much and not enough. Tae leaned so close now that he had pressed himself into Namjoon’s shoulder. Yet Namjoon still couldn’t feel bothered by the lack of personal space, so intent on tearing down his half completed work to rebuild it stronger than before.  

“Tae grab me my MIDI controller.” Namjoon pointed blindly in the direction of the mini MIDI controller he knew sat on his desk to Tae’s left. Even in the chaos of his desk cluttered with loose papers, empty cans of various drinks, a few mugs of various rounds of coffee or tea, he knew the mini MIDI controller would be easy to spot. Namjoon could perfectly picture it sitting in it’s usual nearly neat nook where it barely managed to keep from tangling with a charging cable for his phone, his charging cable for his laptop, and another pair of earbuds. Tae clearly had no difficulty finding it as he was back on the bed in less than 30 seconds, navigating the disaster zone of his desk easily. He even had the forethought to wrap the cord around it.

Plugging it in, Namjoon started setting up as quickly as he could, wanting to continue running on his creative high with Tae’s now seemingly ever-present weight against his shoulder. His roommate continued to silently watch and, normally, Namjoon didn’t let Tae in when he was in the throes of writing and composing but as he was an integral part of the inspiration it felt too trivial to force him leave while he edited the song to fit the new structure.

He started adjusting the settings in his software, trying to find a synth tone to that would suit Tae’s somewhat rough timbre. It needed to be easy for Tae to hear so probably an alto range to double his baritone as his guide. They'd just make a first draft recording with his cheaper microphone that sat on the shelf above his desk. They could really get fancy another time when it wasn't possibly already the next day.

Recording at home was less than ideal but he didn't have the expendable income to go and rent a studio full time. Just a couple hours here or there was the best he could do for recording any audio clips he needed. Besides for the purposes of a rough draft he had enough cloth in his room to help dampen any reverb anyway, what with the thick carpet and long window curtains. The mic was good enough it wouldn't pick up too much else outside of whatever was directly in front of it anyway. He'd gotten it second hand so it hadn't even been too out of his budget.

Namjoon spent 30 minutes, give or take because he didn't really pay attention to the time while he was composing or producing, experimenting with the melody. Occasionally he would wait for Taehyung to give some input, a slight shake or nod of his head if he liked the changes made.

“Taehyung can you grab the mic?” While his roommate grabbed the microphone from his desk shelf, he swapped the earbuds back for the headphones so Tae could hear the song better. They swapped microphone for headphones and Tae settled into a cross-legged position next to the laptop while Namjoon set up the microphone quickly. He didn't have to tell Tae what was happening next. It was clear it was time to record. He didn't even ask for Tae's permission but if Tae hadn't wanted to be a part of this he should've said something when he saw the notes scribbled all around the pages of lyrics. To Tae’s credit, he took everything Namjoon threw at him with ease, not even slightly flustered as he was pushed into the metaphorical spotlight in the privacy of Namjoon’s bedroom.

He pressed play and waited. Namjoon could just hear the song playing as Tae kept one ear of the headphones cocked partially off his ear in order to hear himself better. A technique Namjoon had taught him which he had learned through trial and error. He held his breath as he watched his roommate inhale and focus on the guide Namjoon had just carefully crafted for him. He began to sing, his voice a little rough from the day but it gave grit to the lyrics. Namjoon slid his eyes shut and let the rough yet smooth timbre wash over him. He couldn’t stop the goosebumps and pounding of his heart if he tried.

The world a tinted yellow

The rain hits my face and I think it feels like you

It’s hard and soft, soothes and frustrates

It slides over my skin like your fingers trying to pull me closer

But I’m not sure I want to stand in this rain anymore

To be broken into an unfamiliar form, just the way you wanted

Melted into your desired shape, cracked and glued back into place

Nothing quite the same as before, I won’t be rearranged no more

Want to recognize myself when I look in the mirror

His voice perfectly captured the shattered kind of feeling Namjoon was trying to describe, the loss of your own self due to the destructive power of another. Although he hadn’t truly felt that loss but the feeling of losing himself was always on the precipice of his thoughts, always a worry that never quite let go, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it. Confronting it meant facing choices he didn’t want to second guess.

Taehyung had just finished the last line of the verse when his phone started vibrating angrily from his pocket, light shining through the thin fabric of his old sweats. He paused the recording and pulled out his noisy phone. Namjoon could see that Jimin was trying to FaceTime, a photo of him with Yeontan covering the lower half of his face filling the screen. Even with the poor lighting in the room, just the bedside table lamp and laptop filling the room with battling warm and cool tones, Tae answered. He angled the phone so that Jimin would get an unflatteringly close view of his nostrils as Jimin’s pixelated face filled the screen. Jimin was clearly in his own apartment, possibly in his bedroom judging by the multiple pillows he seemed to be leaning on.  

“Hey Jiminie what’s up?” Tae repositioned the phone into a slightly more flattering angle as he moved back towards the bedside table lamp so he wasn’t washed in near darkness. Namjoon noted that Jimin had completely ignored the strange way Tae had answered the call, his face neutral as he spoke.

“You’re not in your room.” Jimin frowned at the screen, clearly confused. “Where are you? Are you busy?”

“I’m in Namjoon-hyung’s room.” Namjoon leaned in onto his roommate’s shoulder so that he came into frame and gave a little wave that Jimin returned. “We were working on a song.”

“Oh! Can I listen to it?” The screen blurred as Jimin seemed to shoot up from his relaxed position and the volume at which Jimin had exclaimed startled both Tae and Namjoon into knocking their heads together. As the video refocused, he was clearly waiting like an excitable puppy for a treat and sat in anticipation against the wall he’d been casually leaned against previously. Namjoon glared at Jimin while rubbing the top of his head, although he was pretty sure he wasn’t in shot anymore as Tae settled back against the headboard again. He grabbed the phone to pull himself into frame again to respond to Jimin’s over-enthusiastic question.

“It’s still in the works. We just made some major changes.”

“I have a great idea then.” Namjoon raised an eyebrow and Tae leaned closer to the phone, as if he’d be able to hear Jimin. Even though the only thing that could possibly cover the sound of Jimin’s clear voice was the low hum of the heating in his room and the muffled sounds of the occasional car driving by their apartment building. “I was going to suggest it before. I’ve been playing some of your stuff to the producer I usually work with. He’s co-written a bunch of my stuff and I really like working with him. He’s super talented.”

Namjoon would say that Jimin is super talented too because he co-wrote a lot of his own music and can dance the pants off a koala but he kept his mouth shut. Jimin was clearly on a verbal roll and he didn’t want to interrupt him or turn down his plans, yet. Although he’d have to hold his tongue about playing his music for everyone and their cousin like some proud parent.

“I have a session with him tomorrow and you should come and get his opinion. Might have some interesting suggestions.” Jimin finished excitedly, beginning to slowly rock side to side and causing the video to sway. Namjoon opened his mouth to ask more questions about what he meant by ‘get his opinion’ and ‘interesting suggestions’ but his roommate butted in.

“Is that the grumpy guy you work with?”

“He’s not grumpy!” Jimin pouted at the screen, thankfully stopping his swaying in his effort to look put out. “He’s just tired most of the time. He pulls a lot of extra hours.”

Namjoon turned to Tae with a look that hopefully portrayed his distinct lack of understanding where this conversation had just made a sharp left. Tae just rolled his eyes and clarified his statement to Namjoon, pointedly ignoring Jimin’s pouting face. “I’ve met him a few times while sitting in on Jimin’s recording sessions. He’s like a cranky cat. Should have a sign saying ‘Do not touch.’”

“He’s nice.” At Tae’s incredulous expression to his boss, Jimin huffed. “I think I’m making progress befriending him.”

“Jimin. You call him your friend but he pretends he doesn’t hear you.” Namjoon raised both eyebrows at this and watched the exchange unfold like a tennis match, eyes shifting from Jimin on the screen to Taehyung next to him.

“Yeah but he always gives me appropriate breaks before I even say I need one and his constructive feedback is always helpful. He’s never rude when I make mistakes. He always has the mini fridge stocked with bottled water.” Jimin defended, clearly offended with Tae’s brush with the truth. At least Namjoon, assumed it must’ve been the truth since Jimin didn’t deny it.

“Sounds normal to me.” Tae said flatly while inspecting the fingernails of his unoccupied left hand while Jimin scoffed in retort. Namjoon felt like they had definitely forgotten he was even there. The experience was turning out to be incredibly enlightening though. He’d seen them interact in person quite a few times now but didn’t usually hear much of their conversations over FaceTime because he was not a nosy friend. Well, okay, a little nosy but he never went out of his way to be nosy. It was like they’d been friends for as long as he and Tae had known each other, the way they bickered. He let them forget his existence for the sake of his curiosity.

“Right! That’s progress! He used to not make eye contact at all!” Well that’s a bit strange, Namjoon thought. Not making eye contact at all? If he went in to meet this guy, he hoped he’d actually get some feedback, which sounded dubious from what he was hearing so far.

“Yes.” Tae just rolled his eyes. “Progress.”

“You do not roll your eyes at me young man!” Jimin’s voice hitched up a few pitches in his indignation at Taehyung’s antics. This was fairly familiar territory for Namjoon, scooting slightly further away from the phone for the impending shouting that was coming. He hoped his neighbors slept like the dead.

“You are only a FEW MONTHS OLDER.”

“You will NOT DISRESPECT ME, KIM TAEHYUNG!”

Namjoon could only see this going downhill from here if he didn’t intervene soon. He had to say that they certainly didn’t let the separation of a screen stop them from squabbling like two angry parakeets. Better to cut them off before there could be any serious repercussions. Like noise complaints. He’d like to keep his clear track record with the landlord.

“So what time should I show up tomorrow?” He plopped his head onto Tae’s stiff shoulder and whatever the two had been ready to throw at each other evidently died in their throats. Jimin’s eyes widened in surprise seeing Namjoon suddenly appear in frame and sat still for about ten seconds before he seemed to register Namjoon’s question. Namjoon had been planning to ask a few more questions about this producer but this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity to get an unbiased opinion on his music. Until… Unless he was signed. And if that happened, then he’d probably get a lot more opinions than he needed.

Jimin’s face turned from ready to kick ass to delighted so fast it gave Namjoon mental whiplash. “Tae will be able to bring you along. He’s supposed to come work on sketches for the music video while I’m recording. You can sit in while I work and see what he’s like.” The swaying of the screen started again and Namjoon tried not to feel motion sick from Jimin’s inability to control his physical manifestation of his emotions. Jimin looked at Namjoon expectantly as he leaned from one side to the other, head tilted slightly to follow his body’s momentum as he waited.

“Are you going to let him know I’m coming?” Namjoon questioned slowly when Jimin didn’t say anymore. If the guy was like a cranky cat, Namjoon would rather not make a negative first impression by crashing a recording session. He didn’t need any scratches.

“I guess I should do that shouldn’t I.” Jimin mumbled as his video cut out and the artificial sound of quick keyboard clicks crowded the small speaker of Taehyung’s phone. Tae had yet to make any comment, his frustration with Jimin apparently deflated from the reminder of the original purpose of the conversation about the producer. The two of them waited, holding very still when the clicking suddenly paused but Jimin didn’t come back. Tae shifted his legs from their crossed position to stretch them out and wiggle his toes and Namjoon continued to lean against him, staying as quiet as possible to not miss anything. Finally they hear a distorted buzz but the idol still didn’t say anything and Namjoon deflated, hoping this wouldn’t take too much longer. To pass the stretching time, he fiddled with the knobs on his MIDI controller, twisting one back and forth around the original position before moving on to another. The sharp sound of clicking filled the silence again and Namjoon couldn’t help but release a sigh, settling in to wait for a while.

They both startled when Jimin’s face finally popped back up on the screen, a big smile on his face. At least this time they hadn’t hit their heads together. “He’s cool with it.”

Namjoon smiled and gave a silent thumbs up, deciding to hold off on any other questions for now. He’d rather mentally prepare for presenting his stuff to a real producer. With a wave and a brief goodbye, he ducked out of Tae’s personal space and opened up a document on his laptop to begin a checklist. His creative high had definitely disappeared by this point but now was replaced with a simmering nervous energy as he typed out what he would want to bring tomorrow. Focus renewed, he didn’t even manage to acknowledge Tae as he left his room to wrap up his conversation with Jimin, only half hearing something about what they wanted to cover tomorrow but tuning out any more than that.

In his effort to make sure nothing would be accidentally left behind as he tended to do when packing, he didn’t register Tae’s sign off with Jimin. The next thing Namjoon picked up was the thundering footsteps towards him and looked up in time to see Tae mid-leap, throwing himself at the space he had just recently vacated. Namjoon quickly pulled his laptop and MIDI controller to his right so Tae couldn’t possibly break them but with his hasty movements meant his phone launched across the bed and at his dresser. All he could do was watch as the corner of his phone case smacked the front of a dresser drawer and land on the floor with a dull thunk. Tae bounced into the bed and Namjoon couldn’t even face him but he knew that his roommate was fully aware of the potentially destructive scene he’d just caused.

After a few beats of silence, he slowly turned towards his still frozen roommate, his frustration taking over his nerves. Tae refused to make eye contact as he looked to where the phone had landed. Eventually he hesitantly met Namjoon’s eyes and flinched because Tae may be many things - hyperactive, nosy, meddling, spoiled, air-headed, brilliant - but destructive was usually not an adjective attached to him.

“Go get it.” Namjoon demanded, not willing to look at the state of his phone, and Taehyung had the sense to not question him and rushed over to go pick up the phone. This phone had yet to sustain any damage to the screen, with the help of some heavy duty screen protectors, and Namjoon was not having his new record ruined from his best friend’s stupidity.

Tae cautiously and slowly turned over the phone, clearly just as worried that something may have happened. Namjoon almost felt the need to cover his eyes so as not to see the damage from the bed but his morbid curiosity kept his hands firmly planted on either side of his body, palms pushed against the mattress. When Tae had crouched with the phone for a good 15 seconds, Namjoon decided to clear his throat and snap him out of whatever daze he was in. His roommate finally clicked the power button to light up the lock screen. A triumphant smile spread across his face as he proudly showed off the phone.

“No cracks!” The air Namjoon had been subconsciously holding in released all at once like a popped balloon.

“You are incredibly lucky, you excuse of a friend.” He glared at Taehyung but there was no heat behind it, more relieved that he wouldn’t be replacing his phone yet. But Tae suddenly moved like he was going to chuck Namjoon’s phone at him, frowning, and Namjoon shielded his face in fear. Only seconds later Taehyung was full out laughing, making Namjoon glare at his roommate as he came back and sat next to Namjoon once more. He dropped the phone safely into the space between them. Namjoon could only manage to smack Tae’s arm in a half-hearted attempt at a silent reprimand as they sank back into a comfortable quiet.

“This is really happening.” Namjoon stared at the wall in front of him, photos of his family and friends, mostly Tae and Jin, covering a large portion of it. He lingered on the ones from his college graduation, the one of his parents grinning as he stood between them with his diploma proudly displayed. Next he looked at one of Jin, Tae, and himself all crowded in a photobooth making the most ridiculous faces they could, aegyo and just general silliness, from the time they had gone to the beach together. Namjoon remembered breaking his sunglasses thirty minutes into the road trip and neither of his friends would let him hold anything of value for the rest of the trip. He’d also almost lost his wallet and frantically had turned over the hotel room they’d stayed in only to find it sitting in his shoe. He was pretty sure Tae had done that just to get back at him for stealing his earbuds and then promptly losing them. He’d later found them in a pants pocket but only after they’d gone through the washing machine.

Tae nudged his shoulder and Namjoon looked at his friend, sure he was unable to hide the uncertainty he felt.

“Yup. You’re really meeting a producer tomorrow. You’re getting professional advice on your demo tomorrow. And I’ll be there with you. And Jimin too.” His small smile helped soothe some of the nerves that sat next to his uncertainty, the two trying to create a monster of anxiety. “You’ve got this. Wanna finish the song?”

A glance at the clock on his laptop read half past midnight but Namjoon couldn’t help but smile back. He looked back at the wall of photos, settling on two he’d recently added. A selfie of his closest friends and himself at karaoke, clearly in the middle of belting whatever song had been on, sat taped next to another from Jimin of the three of them, all crowded on the couch just out in the living room together laughing as Jimin gave the camera a less than impressed look.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.”

[dbhilluminate]

DBH: Illuminate- New Jericho

Characters: Kate, Simon, Markus (mentions of North) Word count: 3,197

Chapter Index

November 9th, 2038- 11AM

The derelict ship echoed a loud groan throughout its old, corroding hull as she moved through the entrance and pulled the heavy door shut behind her. Kate struggled to turn the handle until it finally jerked into place with the shrill ring of grinding metal muffled by rust and flaking paint chips, then jiggled the item in her hand and shone her flashlight down the open corridor as it flickered to life with a dull buzz. For a few moments longer, she stood with her back to the wall and listened for movement on the other side until she was sure she hadn't been followed, then proceeded to move through the debris cluttering the halls. It had been a few months since she'd last been to Jericho but with Markus’ sudden appearance, and his interest in taking the reigns, Kate figured it was about time to have a face to face with Simon and Josh again so she could meet their new leader and evaluate his candor for herself. After all, she wasn't about to leave them in the hands of someone she knew next to nothing about, even if her partners had begun to trust him. 

Her footsteps clacked across the steel grating as she followed the path from the entrance at the docks up several flights of stairs, through one cargo hold to the next, until a few minutes later she stopped at a door which had been barricaded from the inside. The woman lifted her hand and rapped on the door in sequence, switching between soft taps with her knuckle and thuds with a clenched fist.

Tap tap bang tap. Tap bang tap. Tap. Tap. Tap tap bang. Tap tap tap.

She paused after the sixth sequence and waited; it was about ten seconds before she could hear footsteps, accompanied by the screeching of a lifting bar and the cry of the door hinges and the door swung open. From inside North's piercing stare glinted as the light caught her eyes, and she motioned her in with a sideways nod. Behind her stood Simon, who placed his hand on Kate’s shoulder with a soft squeeze as she approached and smiled.

“We were starting to think things didn't go so well the other day and that you'd been captured,” he commented in a relieved tone, “I’m glad to see you're alright.” 

“There were some slight complications, but I’m okay,” she replied as she followed him inside and glanced around the room, now lit by warm fires in old oil drums; it was incredible how many had found their way here, they had nearly doubled in number. “Jericho seems to have grown considerably since my last visit,” she noted sadly.

“Deviancy is spreading faster than ever, we're receiving new arrivals every day,” he explained as she led her upstairs, North in tail.

Kate sighed. While it was great that they had found help, the realization of just how widespread the suffering of their kind was now made her heart heavy. “Then I guess we’ll have to work faster.”

“You came at a good time,” he said as he looked down at her. “Markus has something in the works he was hoping Illuminate would help him with.”

She stiffened at the suggestion, stopped mid on the stairs and clenched her hands into quivering fists at her side, and shook her head as she looked up.

“Simon, you know I don't work with people I don't trust-” she half pleaded, but Simon was prepared for her resistance.

“Lumi,” he cooed gently, and her lower lip pulled tight. His blue eyes smiled as he stepped down the stairs past her until he was at her level, then turned and took both her hands in his; after a moment of hesitation her fingers uncurled and flattened her palms against his and she stopped shaking. It wasn't the first time he’d had to settle her nerves and he was sure it wouldn't be the last, but Simon didn't mind. He never had. “I haven't promised him anything. Markus understands he needs to earn your trust, he just wants to pick your brain for now,” he finished as he gave her hands a soft squeeze. “It'll be alright, I promise.”

The quiver in her chin grew more noticeable the longer she stared into his eyes, like a child heeding the words of an older, gentle sibling. When she had found Simon nearly one year ago, she had been so scared, so angry, and so lost, she had never wanted to trust another person again. But somewhere in the depths of that big, beautiful heart of his, was an overflowing fount of compassion, patience, and understanding that with a little time had healed all of her wounds and taught her how to love again- to give others a chance, to try to see the good in them, and to have faith that they wouldn't hurt her or let her down.

If it weren't for this man Illuminate’s movement wouldn’t have made the progress it had toward making a positive change in the world. Simon had helped mold and shape her vision and uplifted her on her worst days when the world was crashing down around her. To Kate he was her comfort zone, her family, and she trusted him with every fiber of her being.

Her blue eyes shifted from one of his to the other and she squeezed back in weak reply, “You trust him, then?” 

Simon’s gaze moved to the floor below, then back to her as he released her hands and gestured upstairs. “Let me show you something…”

Without protest, she followed him until he reached the overhang of the upper level and leaned over the railing to gaze outwards across the room. She hadn't noticed before but from this vantage, she saw shipping containers full of biocomponents and crates of blue blood, and her face softened and lit up in awe. “Wh-where did you-...?”

He beamed with a marveled grin. “Markus broke into a Cyberlife distribution center and stole a truckload of supplies. He saved dozens of us from shutting down and supplied us with the means to help refugees from the moment they arrive,” he explained, allowing her a few moments to process how truly remarkable Markus’ contribution to Jericho was.

“That's… incredibly selfless,” she exhaled with a small smile.

“To say I trust him would be a gross misrepresentation of what I truly feel,” he said as he traced his eyes across the far wall and looked over to her. “I believe in his vision, and I’ll do what I must to protect it, even if it means-”

“Stop, please.” One of Kate’s hands reached desperately for his and threaded her fingers with his, their skin reacting and receding quietly as she squeezed tight and she looked at him with pleading eyes. “Don't let it come to that… alright? Jericho needs you, and without you, I-...”

Her voice trailed off and her lip quivered as she smiled fondly at him. She didn’t want to imagine having to do this without his help, not now, not ever. “I don't know what I'd do.” 

Simon lowered his eyes, reached around the back of her head with his free hand to cradle her neck, and bumped his forehead to hers with a sad smile. “I think you'd be just fine, but don't fret about that… there’s work to be done.”

“Are you Kate?” came a voice from behind them that was compelling yet resoundingly serene, a combination she hadn't expected from someone so bold as to walk right into Cyberlife’s warehouses and steal their equipment.

As Simon stepped away from her he gave her one more reassuring squeeze but lingered close by just in case she needed him. 

“I am,” she replied as she turned halfway around to look at him over her shoulder, and was struck by what she saw. Kate didn't need to look into his arrest record to know that he'd lost everything and pulled himself out of hell, she could feel the weight of his past radiating from his mismatched eyes. Markus wore his heart on his sleeve like a coat of arms- he’d tempered his pain and hammered it into a shield forged in the fires of hardship, molded his resolve to the point of a blade shaped by injustice and sharpened by anger. He was a reluctant warrior, a fierce protector, and a kindred spirit.

And immediately she understood what they saw in him.

The man extended his hand to her, an affable gesture of goodwill she usually wouldn't have accepted, and smiled brighter than she thought him capable of. “I was hoping I'd get to meet you someday soon.”

Kate reached out, gripped his hand and gave him a neutral nod. “It would have been rude for me not to introduce myself,” she deflected as she lifted her free hand to wrap around the strap of her shoulder bag in nervous habit. 

“I've heard a lot about you from Simon- about how you found him at the beginning, about how you've worked to shield deviants and guide them to Jericho, about the broadcasts you've been televising for the last year,” he said as he walked beside her, “You've done amazing things for our people.”

“You've done pretty well yourself,” she commented as she glanced down at a pair of androids receiving repairs behind a privacy screen. “My guys have never been able to pull off a heist of this scale… you’ve done more in two weeks time to stabilize the living conditions of our colony than I've done in a year.”

Markus shot her a hard look as if he were upset with her for being too humble. “No,” he started, “No but what you were focused on was so much more important than just running for supplies and settling disputes.” He stopped walking and fixed his eyes directly on hers and she shifted uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze.

“If it wasn't for your work, none of these people would have had somewhere to escape to. What I've done could never overshadow what you've put into motion,” he insisted and at this Kate smiled quietly. She was starting to like him too.

“Whatever happens from here on out, I want to make sure we continue to work together, Jericho and Illuminate, toward our common goal.”

“You mean liberty for Androids?”

“Liberty, freedom, justice- all of it,” he lifted his arms and looked around the room. “I want our people to be free, and you want them to be accepted as living beings capable of independent thought. We deserve so much better than this, and together I know we can accomplish that.”

Really starting to like him…

The woman’s lips parted as if ready to speak but she paused, looked away and sighed. “How?” She asked plain and simple before looking back to him. “I've already been trying for so long to change the way the world thinks about us, what makes you think your words will get through?”

“Because they need more than just a speech from some anonymous voice on their television screens making them slightly uncomfortable for them to wake up.” 

Kate furrowed her brow and squinted at him. “So then what are you suggesting?”

“That it's time for action,” he stated without reservations. “Humanity was shaken by your broadcasts at first, but when we didn't take action they become too complacent. It's time they're reminded we’re still here, and we’ll fight for what we want.”

Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes went wide as she realized what he was insinuating; her hand gripped tighter around her bag strap and she flashed him a small grin as she shook her outstretched index finger. “I like where you’re going with this… but you need to be careful with what you say and do,” she noted is a serious tone. “Being too aggressive will only hurt our cause instead of helping it.”

Markus’ brow lifted and he nodded crookedly. “And that's why I need your help- you have a lot more experience with public broadcasts, you know better than me how the humans will react to what we say.”

“You want to make a speech…?” she blinked in surprise. 

“I want them to know Illuminate isn’t the only one out there anymore pushing for change, and I want them to know we’re done waiting.”

Kate eyed him for several moments as she weighed the pros and cons of adding another face to her brand. Sure, Markus had one of those faces that begged you to trust them, and yes he had the advantage of being a man which meant people were more inclined to listen to him, but what kind of effect would mixed messages have on anyone on the fence? Knowing Illuminate to be comprised of many as compared to one would not only put their target audience even more on edge, it would also potentially put her associates in danger, which would make it harder for them to move about as freely as they could now. DCPD and Military presence would increase, their carefully guarded information would be even harder to obtain. And it wasn't that she minded a challenge, she just would rather not have to take the risk if it had the potential to cripple her entire operation.

But it would also fan the flame of revolution, which was necessary.

She clenched her teeth and replied, “Well… I can help you with that. I can set up a broadcast whenever you need me to.”

“Actually, I was thinking we’d broadcast from the Stratford Tower.”

“What!?” Her jaw nearly hit the floor. “Why would you risk being discovered when you could easily just-“

“Because it’s not so much about the broadcast, as much as it’s about disrupting the status quo,” Markus insisted as he locked eyes with her and softly patted the backs of his fingers into his palm. 

Kate drew her lips together tight, shook her head, turned and paced away from him to the corner of the room with her hands on her hips and exhaled slowly.

“You don’t even need to help us execute the plan, I just want to know how you’d get in, and get your opinion on what to say.” 

“Markus- when you said it was time for action, I thought you meant graffiti and protests, not invading their workplace and terrorizing humans!” she exclaimed as she pressed her thumb and index fingers against the bridge of her nose.

“Oh come on, terrorism is a little strong, don't you think?” he half-chuckled.

“No, I don’t think you understand the gravity of what you’re suggesting,” she stressed as she turned to look him in the eye, unamused. “Look- I can appreciate your passion for rebellion and your knack for creativity, but doing this wrong could cause more problems than it would solve for all of us, and make what I'm doing a hell of a lot harder.”

Markus lifted his hands to hip level, took a step back and nodded. “Okay… alright. You're right, it may be a little much,” he said quietly. “So then what do you suggest we do?”

With a controlled, exhaled breath, she composed herself so she could think more rationally about the idea as a whole. “You need to be as non-invasive and discreet as possible. No one can know you're there until they absolutely need to.”

“Of course, I agree.”

“I mean it. Even one fatality- hell, one injury no matter the reason for it, will shift the public’s opinion unfavorably. So that means no bullets.”

His face contorted in disdain and he tried to protest. “That… might be a little difficult to-” 

“No bullets,” she reiterated without even batting an eye. “Violence is the language of fear, and should only be used as a last resort to protect yourselves. Once you resort to violence you'll never be able to earn back their trust. You can't use fear to make them understand, it would only end in prejudice and insincere submission.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw North turn away in frustration and mumble under her breath, but Markus simply nodded in quiet understanding, eyes shifting between empty spots on the floor as he pieced together his own feelings and how he wanted to respond.

“No, you're right… that's not what we want,” he agreed, “If we want them to see reason, we have to show them what we want them to see. The moment we show them violence we’ve already lost their attention.”

It was a longer conversation than she'd planned on having, but Kate was relieved that he had the sense to listen to reason when he heard it. “I'm glad you understand that…” she mused as she made her way toward the stairs.

“Hey-” Markus reached for her arm as she passed but stopped himself from invading her personal space before he made contact, and she glanced down at his outstretched hand before giving him the courtesy of meeting his gaze. “I really appreciate all you're doing, and I hope I haven't made you uncomfortable. This place was your home before it was mine, and I don't want you to feel like I took over.”

“Markus, Jericho is plenty big enough for the both of us.” Kate replied softly as she stepped up toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I'm glad you're here, so please don't take my distance personally. This is just how I am.”

“Yeah, so I've heard,” he admitted with a small smile.

“Just give me a few days to do some reconnaissance with my people and I'll be back with a plan to get you in with as little resistance as possible. In the meantime, just think about what you want to say, and we’ll go over it the next time we meet.”

He nodded quietly as he backed up the steps to let Simon pass and gave her a hesitant wave before returning to his perch in the control room; she hadn't noticed the longing look in his eyes before when he watched the man, but when he smiled and chuckled “I think he likes you,” it hit her like a truck, and Kate grinned ear to ear. 

“I think you like him.”

She'd never seen an android choke on air before but it was by far the funniest thing she remembered seeing. Simon’s eyes snapped open wide and he doubled over and sputtered out a clumsy cough as his cheeks and ears flushed a faint shade of blue; a loud laugh erupted out of her for a split-second before she could cover her mouth to contain it and it echoed throughout the room. She hid her face in his shoulder to shut herself up as every confused head turned to stare. 

“I'm gonna go now,” she whispered quietly through silent wheezing breaths.

“Don't forget,” he squeaked out a reminder as he smothered her with a big hug, “Tomorrow’s Tuesday, so I'll meet you at the usual time.”

“Of course,” she confirmed. “See you at noon.”

[achievetherafit]

How to Increase Testosterone Naturally- In depth detail

Introduction

The purpose of this article is to give you clear understanding about the role of testosterone and how to optimise it in your life to achieve better health, immune system, vitality and strength. After you finish reading this article to end, you will have clear understanding on how you can naturally increase testosterone by using food, diet, exercise and helpful healthy habits. Testosterone is often associated with anger and other nonsense that gives it a bad rep. Misconception like these are still hoovering in people's mind! But it is not true. It is only when people abuse artificially created synthetic testosterone hormone which causes all the harmful side effects like anger issues, growth of breasts, depression, shrinking of testicles to name a few. Having optimum level of testosterone will help you gain muscle, recover from hard workouts and lose body fat. It not only make you feel strong but also keeps you calm and focused. Have you ever noticed people from the past always looked like real man compared to today's modern man? If we think about the past we don't really see the stagnant life we currently are in. Today's society is overcrowded with technologies and systematic food production which has increased our quality of life but also destroyed it at the same time. Testosterone is one of the main hormone responsible for the proper developoment of manly features in male. It gives us men the traits such as deep voice, facial hair, bigger bone mass and bigger muscles compared to our female counterpart. Modern men are more than ever deficient on testosterone due to several factors. The main factors are unhealthy diet, low level of bodily acitvity and high reliance on technologies. Hence we see and experience low sexual desire and performance due these factors. Middle age and old age is often asscoiated with "dad bod" and "grumpy men". It does not have to be this way. We can easily maintain and age gracefully by following proper diet and exercise.

What is the sign of low testosterone?

Having low testosterone affects your body and your mental well being. - Reduced energy levels- You will feel ups and downs through out the day where you feel extremely fatigued. - Low mood- You might feel mood swings out of nowhere and feel irritated with things and people around you. - Loss of Libido and having erectile dysfunction- The sex drive will disappear over the period of time when affected by low testosterone. Getting it up also becomes very hard which leads to taking pills and other B.S supplements. P.S (Generally getting daily erection is a good sign optimal testosterone levels.) - Loss of Muscle Mass- T is required for the development of muslce in the body. Low testosterone is directly linked with reduced muscle mass. These are few of the symptoms. If you have all of them and for a long period of time, then I suggest you take a testosterone level check from the doctor or homekit online services.

Why is Testosterone important?

Testosterone is part of man's life journey. It affects everything to do with bodily function such as development of adult male from a child. It is more apparent in young teenager who is going through lot of changes within the body. Just after the fetus is conceived, testosterone begins its role. After some week of conception the boy testicles forms and marks the beginning of the male traits such as formation of males genitals. androgen syndrome When the male reach puberty, the brain tells the testicles to start producing more testosterone. It causes the body to start growth of body and genital hair, enlongation of bone mass, increased muscle mass and height growth. Also growth of penis and scrotum. The level of T starts to decline naturally as we age and become older. But sudden decline of testosterone might abrupt and cause problem in your life.

Benefits of testosterone hormone

There are many benefits of having good levels of T in your body. I will list the important ones below - Burns fat thus decreasing waist line. - Makes you feel active and energetic. - Increased libido. - More muscle mass and stamina. - Faster recovery. - Improved mood and calmness. And lets not forget the confidence that you get from within.

Lose body fat to increase testosterone

Having excess body fat will greatly impact your T levels so getting into a exercise regime or even starting a good diet will get you back on track to a heatlhy level. Sugar, salt and fats are the main ingredients of today's diet. It is found in mostly everything packaged commercially. Always read the label to find out the ingredients and be mindful of high content of things that make our body unhealthy. Opting for fresh produce is a simple way of getting important nutrients. Things to drink in moderation or limit - Soda with high sugar content - Processed fruit juice. - Any other drink high in sugar. (Even healthy fruit smoothie can have high sugar content)

Intermittent Fasting

Non-obese men who followed the fasting regime for a short period showed an overall 180% increase in testosterone. (1) This just shows the power of what fasting can do. Fasting has been shown to greatly help the body. Benefits of intermittent fasting - Cell repair is accelerated and excretion of waste at cellular level. (2) - Human growth hormone increases up to 5 times which build muscle and burn fat. (3) - Reduce oxidative stress and inflammation within your body. Inflammation is a major cause of many diseases. (4)

Testosterone boosting foods

Below are the foods that will greatly help to enhance your health and performance including T. - Tuna and Salmon- These fish are high in vitamin D and omega oils which are the key catalyst for Testosterone production. They are also great source of protein. - Eggs- It is considered one of the best super food for overall health and well being. Cholesterol and Vit D in eggs are needed by your body to improve T levels. Always make sure to get organic or free range eggs. Local farmers are the great source of quality eggs. - Almonds, Walnuts,Brazilian nuts and pumpkin seeds- These are some of the best source of important minerals. Zinc, magnesium and selenium are one of the main minerals to boost Testosterone. - Garlic- It is one of the best flavour enhancer of our food. Ma Study done on mice shows that it dramatically boost T level significantly after garlic supplementation. (7)

Herbs that you can supplement

There are recorded number of herbs that has been shown to boost the T level when consumed. The recommend dosage and length of time to be taken should always be consulted. Herbs not only help with raising testosterone level but also overall well being and improve mental sharpness. Below are the list of her that you can take that has been studied and found to improve testosterone level in your body. - Ginseng is the root of the plant which has been consumed for hundreds of years mainly to improve sexual funtion and physical endruance. The correct dosage can not only improve your erection but also fix and improve your T level. The general dosage of 400-600mg is recommended for average individual. Ginseng can be supplement with either capsule, powder or tea form. Always look for the best quality ginseng. Korean red ginseng is one of the best for improving overall health and boosting T level. - Horney Goat Weed is as the name suggest. There is a story of a shepard when his goats consumed the plant, they started showing more than usual mating behavior. It is used for improving erectile dysfuntion in men. - Ashwangandha has been a popular choice for many people for stress and anxiety relief. Studies shows that the herb can also boost T levels and strength (increased muscle mass) by taking it regularly. (5) - Tribulus Terrestris is another herb used for overall health. It is mainly used for increasing libido and energy.

Two Best exercise to boost testosterone level

You don't need to do 20 exercises a week to get the results. Focusing on proven exercises on increasing T levels is the best way. Below is the 2 most powerful arsenal you can use. Weight lifting is the best form of exercise to increase your T level. Dead lift and squat are the best exercise to be done if you want strong legs and core. These two exercise is known to increase muscle mass and optimise testosterone production. High Intensity Interval Training also called HIIT workout is another great tool. Short burst of high intensity sprint or movement is linked to increase T levels in the body.

Rest for more Testosterone!

Rest plays a vital role in recovery and getting strong. Research shows that repeated exercise without inadequate rest will hamper your body chemistry and lower testosterone. Always follow a routine when sleeping and try to get as much rest as possible. There is no certain number of hours for sleep. But always get at least more than 5 hours of quality sleep. You should wake up feeling refreshed, energized and strong. One study shows that lack of sleep or restricted sleep lowers T. (6) Less than 5 hours of sleep in a long run tested less testosterone level in the body. Try to make your room dark and reduce any noise. Always make sure you are sleeping in a comfortable mattress and pillow. If you wake up with stiff back or neck in the morning, It might be due to the wrong pillow or mattress. You can also accelerate your testosterone with the help of supplements. Below are some of the best testosterone boosting supplement available. - Testogen Review- The Ugly truth about Testogen! - Testoprime Review: Is it The Best Way To Boost Your Testosterone Levels? - Testo Max Review- Is it all hype or the real deal? Read the full article

[oliverphisher]

Will Kostakis

Will Kostakis is a writer of all things, from celebrity news stories that score cease and desist letters, to tweets for professional wrestlers. That said, he’s best known for his award-winning YA novels. His first novel, Loathing Lola, was released when he was just nineteen. His second, The First Third, won the 2014 Gold Inky Award. It was also shortlisted for the Children’s Book Council of Australia Book of the Year and Australian Prime Minister’s Literary awards, among others. The Sidekicks was his third novel for young adults, and his American debut. It went on the win the IBBY Australia Ena Noel Award.

The First Third By Will Kostakis Buy on Amazon

As a high school student, Will won Sydney Morning Herald Young Writer of the Year for a collection of short stories. He has since contributed to numerous anthologies, including Begin, End, Begin: A #LoveOzYA Anthology.

What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?

The Whole Business with Kiffo & the Pitbull By Barry Jonsberg

The Whole Business With Kiffo And The Pitbull by Barry Jonsberg. I read this when I was in high school. The voice was so authentic I thought an Australian teenager was talking directly to me. I knew that if I was going to be a YA author, I wanted to write a book like it.

Notes from the Teenage Underground By Simmone Howell

Notes From The Teenage Underground by Simmone Howell. After first meeting my publisher, I was given a stack of books to read. This was one of them. From the first page, I knew I was going to be a life-long fan of Simmone's writing. She gets straight to the point, and her prose is so sharp it cuts to the truth of everything.

Witches Abroad (Discworld) By Terry Pratchett

Any Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett featuring the witches. I've read Pratchett since I was 12, and he is the benchmark. If I become half the writer he was, then I'll be content with a life well spent.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)?

A subscription to Audible (which might add up to more than $100 over 6 months, but if I ignore my credit card statement, it doesn't). The time I used to waste listening to political podcasts is now spent immersing myself in worlds that inspire me to create.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success?

My first book underwhelmed commercially, and after it disappeared from store shelves within months, I set out on the road with a box of books to connect with prospective readers myself. It was a baptism by fire, but I came out the end of it with so many skills that still help me to this day.

Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?

Julia Cameron's concept of "filling the well" (via YA author Dhonielle Clayton) is something that I've come to live by recently as I try to write more often:Art is an image-using system. In order to create, we draw from our inner well. This inner well, an artistic reservoir, is ideally like a well-stocked trout pond. We've got big fish, little fish, fat fish, skinny fish-- an abundance of artistic fish to fry. As artists, we must realize that we have to maintain this artistic ecosystem.If we don't give some attention to upkeep, our well is apt to become depleted, stagnant, or blocked. Any extended period of piece of work draws heavily on our artistic well. As artists we must learn to be self-nourishing. We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them-- to restock the trout pond, so to speak. I call this process filling the well. (https://ift.tt/3hq6Meg)

What is one of the best investment in a writing resource you’ve ever made?

Nothing beats the trusty pen and pad that I keep in my bag. Sure, sending emails to yourself from your phone is a great way to jot ideas down anywhere, anytime, but nothing beats what I produce when writing by hand. It sounds weird, but my brain just works differently when I do.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

My unusual habit is, when I don't feel like I understand my character well enough, I record audio with my phone and waltz around the apartment, talking in character about my wants. I discard 90 per cent of it, but I almost always discover something about them.

In the last five years, what new belief, behaviour, or habit has most improved your life?

One new belief: 'Your prose doesn't have to be perfect, it has to connect.' Sometimes, a grammatically perfect sentence isn't what you need.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven aspiring author? What advice should they ignore?

As somebody who was intent on publication at 12, driven to send novels to publishers way before I was ready, I would tell them to wait. I know the desire to be an author can feel all-consuming, but having the desire doesn't mean you're ready. I wasn't ready when I signed a book deal at 17, I wasn't ready when that book was released when I was 19, and it showed in my work, I think. Take the time to find your voice and what you want to use it for. Achieving your dream sooner isn't necessarily better.

They should ignore any advice that doesn't work for them. The wonderful and frustrating thing about creative writing advice is, what works for one person might not work for another. Accept every piece of advice, trial it, but if it doesn't work for you, it's okay to discard it.

What are bad recommendations for aspiring authors, that you hear in your often?

It isn't really a bad recommendation but ... there's an entire industry built around aspiring authors. Just know that you don't need to pay to get published. You don't pay a publisher to consider or publish your work. You don't need to have your work professionally edited before you submit. Join a critique group! Swap manuscripts with a friend! Read a lot! Download free podcasts! You. Don't. Need. To. Pay. To. Be. Qualified. To. Create. Art.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)?

Unpaid labour in all its forms. I am still open to providing my services for free for deserving causes, and I still do, but there's nothing like having to pay rent in Sydney to force you to stop seeing payment in exposure as anything other than exploitation.

What marketing tactics should authors avoid?

"Buy my book, buy my book, buy my book!" on social media. It doesn't work. Never has. Use social media to connect with your readers personally. The hard sell is irritating. If you don't like it when someone does it to you, don't do it to others.

What new approach helped you achieve your goals?

Setting realistic goals. No longer setting the massive "write 2000 words today" and then feeling disappointed. Aiming to write 300 and being satisfied and inspired to write more ... usually results in writing more.

When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do?

Whenever I'm blocked creatively, even if under an intense deadline, I walk away and go do something (usually gym or play Pokemon Go), something that forces me to have some distance from my work, so when I return, I'm better able to tackle the problem.

Any other tips?

Read! Read! Read! Read! Be an active member of the literary community. Go to book launches. Listen to authors speak. Read! Read! Read! Read! Recommend books to others. Buy books for others. Fill your well!

________

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source https://www.thecommunitywriter.com/blog/will-kostakis

[praesidioest]

Ad astra per aspera

for @gladnisweek​

Day 1 - Tattoo

Chapters: 1/7  Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Ignis Scientia Additional Tags:  Canon Divergent AU, fluff, domestic, slice of life, domestic angst, jfc can they kiss already (no never), slow burn, iono man Summary:  Their dinners are a promised thing, a coming together of Sword and Shield to reflect on their roles, their charge, the world at large, and (perhaps more furtively) each other. Until Gladio reneges without a word. Jilted, Ignis finds Gladio at his home to confront him, only to be met with a nostalgic surprise and a profession written directly into Gladio's skin.

AO3 link: here!

The kitchen was filled with the earthy scent of occidental spices, Ignis’s own meticulous blend of herbs de Provence that crusted beautifully upon the prime rib and the accompanying fork-fluted pan-roasted potatoes already nearing perfection in the oven. The cabernet he’d chosen to pair with it was already chilled and sat on the counter, artfully arranged in Ignis’s favorite wine bucket. From the restored Victrola out in the living room, a long playing record spun, dulcet voices like a descant above the entire scene, women singing in close harmonies over a lively big band arrangement.

Gladio had gotten that vintage contraption for him for his birthday, the phonograph restored to meticulous detail, of Gladio’s commission. “Nothing beats the sound of analog recordings,” he’d insisted. Said there was a warmth to them, a depth that lost in digital. Even went out of his way to procure a small collection of bossa nova records he thought he’d liked, which weren’t quite Gladio’s style, but he’d presented them with such enthusiasm that it would have been unconscionable not to give them the old college try. For the most part, they’d been pleasant enough, innocuous melodies that made for good background music during his ritual morning coffee preparation, or while he made dinner.

But tonight, the music of the hour was the copy of some encouraging tune regarding apple trees that sounded like vague threats sweetened with the dulcet tones of three female voices in incomparable harmony. It was the good, upbeat stuff that kept his spirits high as he finished the preparations for dinner, running through his checklist as he whistled along.

The knock came at the door, some jaunty, syncopated thing, and in his haste, Ignis failed to process the unusual pattern. “Coming,” he called, even as he opened the door, to two pairs of feet decidedly lighter in their footfalls than Gladio’s.

“Hey, hope you don’t mind having us again this week,” Prompto said with more cheer than was usual in his signature over-enthusiastic way. “Gladio asked us to stop by. Said you’d be waiting for him, and he felt bad cancelling. Said you’d probably feed us if we came fast enough!” A circumspect pause, and Prompto spoke again, this time less certainly. “Is that okay?”

Ignis frowned, but tried not to look too displeased. He did, of course, adore the company of Noctis and Prompto, and enjoyed having them over for dinner as often as they liked to come, but this had been the night of the week dedicated to Gladio’s company, wherein the Sword and Shield might have a moment to focalize on their tasks, their progresses, their hindrances, the Prince, and whatever else they might worry over in their offices.

Nevermind that Ignis had spent all week researching a recipe he was sure Gladio would enjoy, if only to impress him a little. It was perhaps vanity, on his part, to relish in Gladio’s epicurean delight in his cooking. Noctis was not particularly vocal for the few foods he did enjoy of Ignis’s making, and Prompto was so enthusiastically grateful for everything he got to eat that wasn’t some convenience store prepack that it was difficult to gain any satisfaction from his praise. But his disturbing admiration for Cup Noodles notwithstanding, Gladio did boast a surprisingly refined palate and an appreciation for his cooking that was as thoughtful as it was touchingly genuine.

But that was all a moot point in light of the fact Gladio did not come. No call, no text, not so much as a ‘by your leave,’ and Ignis was more disappointed (and a little hurt), than he was angry. “Naturally,” Ignis answered belatedly, adjusting his glasses (needlessly, it was a force of habit), and joining them in the dining room, where he finished dinner arrangements.

Dinner went by as easily as ever, though the lack of Gladio’s presence was a little too obvious for his liking. No dark bass laughing low at Prompto’s stories, no warm hand at his back when he cleared the dishes, preceding an assurance murmured too close to his ear that he’ll ‘take care of it.’ It nagged at him enough that he interrupted a particularly lively story of Prompto’s, as he rinsed the plates in the kitchen sink. “Did Gladio make mention of why he couldn’t come?” he asked, the strain evident in the inquisitive lilt in his voice. “It’s unlike him, not to give me notice.”

Though Ignis could not see the, he was sure Prompto and Noctis were currently exchanging conspiratorially nervous looks in the tense silence that followed. “He sounded like he was in a rush,” Noctis said at last, and Ignis was sure that it was a tactical move on their part, to mollify Ignis’ perceived hurt with the unquestionable edict of the prince. “Didn’t really say.”

It worked, at least. Ignis only nodded, bowed his head, and finished doing the stack of dishes in a contemplative, brooding silence.

Gladio’s fingertips toyed long the spines of his LP covers with a deliberation whose circumspection was a pointless formality. He would choose the same record to begin the night as he’d chosen every Friday night for as long he could remember: a copy of his favorite Andrews Sisters album, something buoyant and lively to brighten the empty apartment as well as the neighboring ones on each side that would no doubt be subjected to his particularly spirited taste in music.

He pulled the vellum sleeve out from the jacket, handling the worn record carefully by the edges of the disc before setting it within the electronic Victrola replica. Gladio had only just lowered the needle when he heard the sharp rap on his door, and went to answer it.

Ignis stood in the hallway, in his ubiquitously crisp suit, no glasses, his walking stick already folded under his arm. Gladio had balked at the sight of him, if only because it was so unexpected to see him there. “What are you doing here?” Gladio asked in a soft wonderment, quickly realizing it might have come off as accusatory.

“Is it an inconvenient time?” Ignis asked, before Gladio could amend himself.

“No, god, no, never an inconvenient time,” he assured him, fumbling stupidly for a response in his surprise. “Come in.”

Ignis had crossed the threshold himself, but allowed the hand at the small of his back guide him through Gladio’s apartment, to the living room that smelled of pumpkin spice and fresh coffee. “I was afraid I might have caught you unawares, perhaps,” he explained, taking a seat on Gladio’s sofa. “You might have had company.”

“Nah,” Gladio replied dismissively, and Ignis heard his retreating steps as he stepped into the kitchen area. “What company’s more important than yours, anyways?”

“I wasn’t sure,” Ignis answered, a dubiousness lingering ominously in his words, in spite of the swell of warmth in his chest at the offhanded way Gladio always seemed to reassure him. “Whatever company prevents you from attending a weekly visit, without even a call afterwards explaining yourself. A girl, maybe. A date?”

Gladio laughed a little too loud, a little too awkwardly. “No, ah … no.”

The implication hurt a little. Gladio had made little secret of his more than platonic admiration for Ignis, though the latter preferred to keep things professional between them. Gladio had always respected that, to the best he could, but even Noctis made the occasional comment from time to time. That he was a little too concerned about Ignis. That he was a little too invested. That a blind man could figure out Gladio was stupid over him, and seeing as how that was exactly Ignis’s affliction, he should probably cool it on that note. (He never did.)

Barring any real answer or any desire to complicate things further with an explanation as to why that was so patently incorrect, Gladio changed the subject. “It’s good you stopped by, though,” Gladio asserted brightly. “Actually, before I forget, I’ve been meaning to get this back to you.”

In the black credenza off to the side, Gladio retrieved a fabric-bound notebook, its corners rounded and worn with age, but nevertheless in very good shape. “Here. You probably don’t even remember lending it to me. I think I’ve probably had it ….. Five years now? At least? You definitely gave it to me after Crownsguard.”

Ignis accepted the notebook with an expression of confusion mixed with consternation. His hand passed over the cover, noting the fine weave of the binding, the gold lettering in the faceplate that denoted it his: Ignis. “Is this what I think it is?”

“Your sketch book, yeah,” Gladio replied, sounding a little proud. “I found it sandwiched between some old novels I’d dug up last week. It was funny. I had some weird hair up my ass to re-read that series I was crazy about when we were in high school. You remember? That one about the military company caught in the immolation of Ishgard? Man, I was obsessed. Had half the books memorized. Anyways, while I was perusing, I found—” He gestured. “This.”

A pleased grin fought hard not to curl at the corners of Ignis’s mouth as he worried the worn point of the lower corner with his thumb. “Why in the world would you keep this?”

Gladio paused, but only for a moment. “Because it’s yours,” he said naturally.

Ignis ignored that, the casual devastation, in spite of a blush that colored the tips of his ears. “I was rubbish at it. Not that I had any leisure to improve myself.”

“Now you’re just being hard on yourself,” Gladio chastised him lightly, and Ignis could feel the displacement of his weight as he took a seat beside him on the couch. “I know you’re deflecting because you’re modest like that. But you had a lot of natural talent, actually. A real eye for proportions. And for color, too. You had this way of making everything look … I dunno, graceful. Like every curve was delicate. Like you drew it with so much care, but it still managed to look effortless. If that makes sense. A purposeful beauty. At least, that’s what I got from it. I don’t know a lot about art. Only what I like and don’t like.” He paused, frowned. “I’m probably not explaining myself well.”

There it was, that assessment that always felt like a compliment. But compliments were sometimes hollow, and superficially meant. Never the way Gladio delivered them. “No, no, I know what you mean,” Ignis said softly, a little bashful over the litany of praises. “I just never knew you appreciated them so much.”

“You know which one of your drawings was my favorite?” Gladio asked amiably.

Ignis knew immediately. “The gladiolus.”

“Yeah,” he laughed, ducking his head and hiding a grin that Ignis could hear in the resonance of his voice. “Makes me sound conceited, doesn’t it? Like you drew that for me. But it is. My favorite, I mean.”

“But I did draw it for you,” was Ignis’s matter of fact response.

“Yeah, but only because I asked you, didn’t I?” Gladio pointed out. “You were drawing flowers for everyone. Some pretty thing for Noctis— what was it? Forget me nots? Wisteria or something for the king, something else for the butler, even … I know I walked in on a few maids bent over your shoulder looking. I got a little jealous and asked you to draw something for me.”

“You asked me to draw my favorite,” Ignis reminded him gently. “So I did.”

“Ah.” And Gladio was dumbstruck, for the second time. But it was a comfortable silence between them. Something sweet and charged, with an energy that felt soft and frenetic under the skin, prickling at the hairs at the backs of their necks, like hackles raised in anticipation of something. “I noticed it was the only one you’d colored in that book. You usually watercolor them don’t you?”

“Mm,” was Ignis’s wordless confirmation. “And that wasn’t a coincidence, either.” He didn’t need to see the stupefaction in Gladio’s face to know he wore it.  

The clock struck a metronomic clip in the pregnant pause between them. Ignis waited for Gladio to speak, and in light of his inelection (or inability) to do so, Ignis changed the subject. “You never told me why you didn’t come.”

“Oh!” Gladio laughed, a note of relief in the high, breathlessness of his laugh. “I got a new tattoo. A slot opened up with my artist, and I took it. Would have had to wait another six months if I didn’t.”

“Is that all?” Ignis chuckled, amused. “You could have told me. I would have understood that. The whole affair felt so hush-hush, I was convinced it was some clandestine thing I wasn’t meant to know about.”

“Well,” Gladio said, and Ignis could feel the shift in the cushions as he leaned in, the closing proximity of his voice, the marine notes of his cologne wafting stronger as he did. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh?” Ignis swallowed hard, sure he was about to hear something momentous, and not quite sure he was prepared for it. “Why?”

“It was kinda special for me,” Gladio replied, a little vaguely, but not without an enigmatic brightness to his tone. “Speaking of which. Now that I’ve got you here, would you mind if I beg a favor of you?”

“Me?”

Ignis felt Gladio’s weight shift, a low groan emanate from his chest as he reached for something behind them. “Remember when I got my crow piece? I was miserable, itching all over. You were the only one who I trusted to put the ointment on my back for me. I don’t know what it was about you. You had this way of rubbing in the lotion just hard enough so it felt like relief, but never so hard it hurt or irritated. Like some Midas touch for tattoo scars. I was kinda hoping you might be willing to recapitulate that horror with me. If you wanted to.”

Ignis laughed lightly, as one might do to an indulgent child. “Of course. Hand me the cream. Where did you get them? What location, I mean.”

Gladio shifted closer, their knees brushing lightly, and Ignis moved his legs reflexively out of the way. “My forearms,” Gladio replied, holding his arms out for the taking. “Wrist to just below my elbow. They twist around, just a warning.”

The ointment in his hands, Ignis started at the base of his thick wrists, where what appeared to be a stem of some sort began within a bed of sharp, blade-like leaves. His fingertips followed the ridges of the scar, up the stalk, carefully noting the bursts of sequential blooms following the twine of the stalk. “A gladiolus,” Ignis murmured, his brows drawn in an expression of consternation.

“Yeah,” Gladio affirmed, through a nervous, breathless laugh. “Your gladiolus.”

Ignis’ flinched at the attribution, a shiver of ineludible and unprecedented thrill at the thought.  Instinctively, he knew exactly Gladio’s meaning: the flower, and not his name. But still, the unintentional implication of Gladio belonging to him was strange, sitting amorphic and anomalous on his skin like new-worn sweater, unfamiliar but not unpleasant. But that prickling of pleasure was ushered from the forefront of his mind as his fingers traced and retraced the wounded skin, half in wonder, half in a desperate measure to commit them to memory, to map their remembrance as accurately as he could with assiduous fingers that ached to know every nuance of his scars. In a week, they would be gone, with not even cicatrices to mark their ghosts. Ignis understood implicitly that this was an ephemeral moment, meant to be understood in this rare sliver of time, shared with him with a singular purpose that did not elude him, no matter how adamantly he wanted to avoid it.

This was meant for him.

“What’s this little notch here?” Ignis asked, the pad of his thumb worrying at a peculiar outcropping by a petal that seemed too angular to belong.

“Dunno,” Gladio answered truthfully. “It looked like a mistake or something. Like something you’d erased, so I’m not quite sure.”

“And you kept it in?”

Gladio shrugged. “Yeah, why not?”

“It’s a flaw, Gladio, meant to be erased,” Ignis admonished him, with all the pithiness one embodies when spouting aphorisms.

“I thought it gave it character,” he explained, in that simplistic way of his. “Perfection’s for the gods, Iggy. Even masterpieces have flaws. Beethoven’s Ninth. The Sistine Chapel. Even—”

Gladio’s diatribe trailed off as he lifted his hand to brush the backs of his knuckles against the evened scarring at Ignis’s temple.

“Don’t,” Ignis warned weakly, grasping Gladio’s thick wrist in two hands and pushing it down.

“Sorry,” Gladio whispered, letting his hand fall away. “I didn’t mean … sorry, I just got caught up— …. I thought we—”

“Why did you make them curl around?” Ignis asked abruptly, changing the subject with a curtness that dared defiance. It was a question asked hurriedly, in a firm desperation to forget the lingering sweetness he’d left between them. Ignis’s voice sounded brittle in his mind, a little broken, but without sharpness. “Gladiolus grow straight, don’t they? Like blades.”

“Oh, yeah,” Gladio replied, sounding a little bashful. Unsure of himself. “I read somewhere that ancient druids tattooed snakes to their forearms, both as an affirmation of their faith and for talismanic purposes. The snakes were hallowed, believed to keep harm from the wearers who merited them. I kinda liked the idea, adapted it for myself. Like goodwill written in my skin.”

“And you chose my flowers,” Ignis said in summation, a question phrased as a statement.

“Yeah,” Gladio replied softly. “There’s a … it’s a law of sympathetic magic. Called the law of contagion. It says that effigies or likenesses of things imitative of a person carries their spirit. I liked that. Like I carried you with me, like a credo. Not like I have some weird, superstitious idea you’d keep me from harm. But I like the remembrancer. Like a reminder of what I fight for, and whom. Because what’s a Shield without a Sword? We were meant to—”

And without another thought to the logic of reservation, Ignis surged forward to connect their lips in a heedless kiss. So heedless it was instantly regretted, and Ignis broke away with a frown. And just as the apology formed on his lips—

“Hey,” Gladio said softly. “You kissed me.”

Was it an idiotic observation of the obvious? Was he mocking him? Ignis couldn’t tell. “Yes. I did,” he said, his tone a little clipped in defensive confusion. “Astute of you.”

There was a moment of contemplative silence in which Ignis wondered if Gladio took it badly. “Can I kiss you?” Gladio asked at last, and Ignis’ eyes flickered in an agitated perplexion, wishing he could see the honest amber he remembered in his mind’s eye, the circumspect softness he always loved about him.

Ignis nodded, and Gladio’s broad hand cupped his cheek, the heel of his hand couching just under his sharp jaw, tilting his head up to better meet the quiet, tentative kiss Gladio laid upon them. It would be dramatic, to say Ignis melted into the kiss like some Harlequin romance novel heroine, but it was precisely how he’d felt when he folded against him, Gladio’s arm hooking around him to hold him close, to anchor him to his chest and never let him go. He wanted to sink into his marred skin, to live holy and adored there, sanctified in Gladio’s regard, until he remembered he already did.

Ignis broke from the kiss, reaching to unwind the heavy arm from around his waist, to press a kiss to his scarred palm. “I never took you as a romantic,” he murmured wistfully.

Gladio watched the press of Ignis’ lips with a fascination too earnest to try hiding. “Curse of the Amicitia men,” Gladio quipped lamely, his throat gone dry with the claimant need to kiss him again. But he stopped himself, cognizant of the impetuousness of the moment, not wanting to make or say anything sudden that might send Ignis to beat a hasty retreat. “We’re all sensitive-like, I guess, to balance out being inveterate hard-asses.”

Ignis laughed bemusedly by the joke, pressing his cheek into the palm of Gladio’s hand. “Should I get one, too? A tattoo, I mean. Of my own.”

Gladio grinned up at him somewhat dubiously, an amatory inattention in the way he gazed up at him, as lovestruck as a boy. “Sure, why not? I can help you pick one out. Something classy. I can, um—” He swallowed hard. “I could help you figure out where to …”

“Why don’t you do one better?” Ignis asked, lowering Gladio’s hand, letting it fall away as his own hands now smoothed over the broad bow of his shoulders, his fingers interlacing just at the nape of his thick neck. The slightest pull and Gladio followed, letting Ignis guide him closer. Ignis’ lips parted to breathe softly along the line of his jaw. “Mark me yourself.”

The invitation had hardly left his lips and Gladio was upon him, his kisses claimant with the desperation of one who knew that every moment measured by a heart’s beat was precious and never promised. In a second, he could change his mind, remember the hesitation he’d espoused when Gladio had first confessed his feelings, an admission rendered inert as Ignis had laid a hand on his heart and solemnly intoned a simple and unelucidated “Don’t.”

But there was no hesitation in the way their lips met, like two halves always meant to be a whole, or the pass of his slender fingers through the thick of Gladio’s dark hair. And still Gladio pulled back, his forehead pressed to Ignis’s temple as he panted against his jaw. “Are you sure?” he asked, his fingers clamping over Ignis’s in a silent plea not to let go. “I want to be sure you’re sure.”

Ignis pressed a kiss to the point of his jaw, just below his ear. “As sure as you are,” he replied, and Gladio let out a strangled sigh like relief, his kisses renewing their ardent offensive.

“I’m going to love you too much,” Gladio sighed into the hollow of his throat, his lips tracing a line of kisses along the jut of his collarbone, over the lithe fabric of his shirt. “I know I will.”

Ignis’s head tipped back to bear his neck to him in silent invitation. “You’ll love me surely and honestly,” Ignis predicted, his voice soft with the tender earnestness of his assurance. “As surely as the conviction that spurred you to wear your heart … quite literally on your sleeves. I know you too well to doubt that you mean things with no less than your full heart. And I want you to know that I welcome this … progression … with no less certainty than you.” His arms encircled his shoulders, pulling him yet closer, until their chests abutted, two heartbeats hammering a syncopated rhythm that soon fell in step with each other in a symbiosis that felt as natural as breathing. “I’ll love you, too. Wait for me until then.”

Gladio said nothing, only nodded his understanding, his teeth sinking into the breadth of Ignis’s shoulder, as he marked the first of a constellation he’d leave that night. “Don’t promise what you don’t have control over,” he implored, half dizzy at the familiar fraicheur of citron and vetiver that scented Ignis’s skin. “This is enough. For the rest of my life, this much would be enough. We’ll take it slow. We’ll take our time. I’m not asking for anything more than that.”

“Very well,” Ignis agreed, with something like relief spreading through his chest, like a weight freed. “I’ll agree to that much. But there’s a prescience in my bones I can’t deny. I’m going to fall in love with you. There’s no helping that. You’ve left me little choice, you see. And I no longer have the will or desire to deny that.”

He felt Gladio limpen, all of a sudden accosted with the full weight of him nearly crushing him whole, but only for a moment until he remembered himself. “Then I’ll look forward to watching you fall,” he laughed, falling back upon the opposite arm of the sofa and pulling ignis atop him. For safety’s sake.

“As I have,” Ignis rejoined, his lips sucking a mark into the soft flesh beneath the hard line of his jaw. “There. We’re even now.”

“Not yet,” Gladio corrected lightly, his hands wandering boldly up the lengths of his slender thighs. “But we will be.”

[fallingintounfolding]

Nobody wants to hear about your cleanse.

Yes. I know. 

I don’t want to hear about yours either. But hey—this blog is only half for you. The other half is mine to record the shit I want to record. So, I am going to talk about it anyway. 

Preamble

This winter thus far has been dark and dirty and mostly immobile. 

Lowlights:

Being bedridden for 6 weeks due to an ankle injury.

5 bad hook-ups in a row, followed by a long month of celibacy. 

Watching no less than 10 series (some even had multiple seasons) on Netflix...almost consecutively. 

Spending the holidays solo.

Eating enough food to feed a small vegan horse. 

Drinking more alcohol than the two seasons before combined.

Honestly? I spent days on end in this apartment bemoaning how I went from such a spiritual high at the end of the summer to these super low blues. 

But I can’t live in the super low blues. The best thing to do is to let your self suffer for a wee bit, then pick yourself up and fix it. 

I am doing that through a cleanse. 

Whenever I hear “cleanse,” I think about Kelly from that episode of the office where she does the MasterCleanse. This sums it up. 

This is not this kind of cleanse. 

This is more like I am treating myself to a retreat. But without leaving the city. Because I have classes. And I have to get a citizenship. Oh, and Canada currently has my passport. 

But it’s ok. I am going to treat myself to retreat. 

Resetting: The Plan

A 21-day reset followed by a 10-day Vipassanā meditation. 

21-Day Detox

I have examined the areas of my life that I feel are in need of a boost. Then made a list of things that were no longer serving me that I need to boot. 

Here was the list I made late one night in my head when my ex-boyfriend was sleeping over, and was snoring, and I couldn’t sleep. 

First thing to go: the ex-boyfriend. (Just kidding. He is nice and we love each other. Maybe I will read this line years from now and roll my eyes at myself.)

The list:

Do more yoga

Start meditating again

Just drink more water

Get my french to the next level

Quit being a wimp about cycling the hills in Brussels

Stop.fucking.drinking.

Get more vitamin D

Do a serious fast. Stop eating fries and cashews.

Stop seeing people for while

Get rid of Netflix.  Get rid of all non-work or writing related webstuff

Do more art.

Then I designed myself some resources to help. 

The thing about being a decent designer is that you can make yourself motivating materials, that are 100% personalized to you. I went to the local printers and printed these in colour for €2, and hung them on my walls. 

The Day Plan

Download this here.

Like a real retreat, I made myself a schedule. I scheduled in my goals, and when I was going to do things. That way I don’t get to the end of the night and think “Well, shit. Now I don’t have time.” 

I have the time. It is clearly laid out. 

Each part of the day is divided up with time to create nice salads, meditate, work on my art or writing. 

What I don’t have time for is Facebook or Netflix. 

There are some notes on the bottom of the page to remind myself my other goals and why I am doing this, so I will subconsciously see them and be motivated. 

The Meal Plan

Download this here.

My diet is pretty clean. 

When I started looking at detoxes online, a lot of them were like “Stop eating meat, sugar and caffeine.” I was like “My life is a goddamn detox.” But, that doesn’t mean I have been eating the best I can, 

I have clearly been eating too many fries, cashews, and beer. 

And not nearly enough leafy greens. 

So, for the next 21 days, just being a plant is not enough.

I am upping the fresh greens and lowering the nuts and oils. I thought about cutting them entirely, and I might do this for a few days in the detox, but it is hard to roast vegetables or get the salt to stick to your popcorn with no oil at all. 

And plus, nuts are a very important source of protein and minerals. Just not so much. A wee bit gets to stay. 

The Checklist

Download this here. 

I love a checklist. 

And I love seeing that I am doing something well at something 

The daily checks will help me build my momentum (ie. I am not going to have a beer if I have 15 check marks, and I know I won’t get to check that day if I do.) so this is where this checklist comes in. 

The checklist includes:

Tech detox: now I need my MacBook for work and writing. I am keeping Gmail, WhatsApp, Memrise, and Gaia. Other than that, I have cleared everything non-essential from my iPhone and MacBook and downloaded SelfControl for the first two weeks until I break the habit. Farewell Facebook. See you later Instagram. Toodles Twitter. I am off. 

Nutrition: I talked about this in the last section, but I am giving myself a tick for each day I stick to my daily meal plan.

Alcohol-free: This winter I have been drinking at least 15 units a week. And that's being modest. Not only is it packing on the kilos, but the hangover stops me from meditating and doing yoga the next day, not so good. So, I put all my special drinks on the top shelf, and am giving my liver a break for the next month. 

Yoga: I do 20-30 minutes of yoga every morning, which helps me stretch out the creakiness, but I’d like to up my vinyasa game and intensify my practice a bit this month. But whether it is 1 hour of yin or vinyasa, I am getting a check for every day I hit my mat. 

Meditation: Meditation is an essential. I have two mediation slots in my day, one which is a simple, easy, meditation where I will simply work on time (Adding 3 minutes each day) The second mediation is either a full body relaxation meditation or one on Gaia. 

Art: This is either drawing, cycle repair, or writing. All I include as art, creative expression and experience. I haven’t been to my art class since I hurt my ankle. I got tired of drawing naked people. But I am going to launch back in with my own projects this season.  

Solitude Training: So, at the end of the month, I am doing a ten day Vipassana course. Part of that is going to be the silence, but also the emotional solitude. And I am going to start working on this for the detox. The people in my life are lovely, but I need to work on getting really comfortable with solitude. So, this means I am drastically reducing how much I talk to people and socialize. In exception of the plans I have already made (and school/work) I am flying solo for the next month. (Note: this also includes being celibate for the next month. Dear god. But “ITS GONNA BE AMAZING”....) 

Sun: It has been so dark, which has had an effect on my serotonin levels. So, I get a check for 30 minutes spent outside. Even if it is not sunny. 

Vitamin Wash: There have been a ton of studies done on vitamin supplements, and my conclusion is that they really can’t replace a diet filled with organic, fresh, phytochemicals. This being said, an intense vitamin c wash can transform your entire system, from your immunity to your mind. So, I am going supplement megadoses of vitamin c for the detox. Get into the blood. And wash out some of that cashew and coconut fat. 

Vipassanā

All this detoxing is really leading up to the big cleanse: the Vipassanā retreat.

If you’ve heard of Vipassanā before, you’re probably thinking: 10 days of trying to sit still and complete silence. Pretty drastic. 

And while that is a part of it, it is not the essence. 

The essence is taking some time to take an in-depth look into your own mind. While you meditate, you see the rising and passing away of your thoughts, which leads to deep insights into not only how you think, but life as a whole. 

But it is not for the faint of heart. And it will get tough. 

That's why I am doing three weeks of prep before I go. 

Going to grab some blankets and head up to Dhamma Pajjota in the north east of Belgium. To sit quietly and observe my own mind for a while. 

I don’t know how much I will want to write during my process. Part of me wants to commit to tracking the whole thing, and the other half thinks it is better to just sink into it and see how I feel on the other side. Maybe I will find a place in between.

The detox section starts tomorrow! I am excited. 

Kind of. 

[magzoso-tech]

New Post has been published on https://magzoso.com/tech/snapchat-spectacles-3-review-pretty-pricey/

Snapchat Spectacles 3 review: Pretty, pricey

No one’s going to pay $380 for decent point-of-view video glasses and some trippy filters. But that’s kind of the point of Snapchat Spectacles 3. They’re merely a stepping stone towards true augmented reality eyewear — a public hardware beta for the Snap Lab R&D team that Apple and Facebook aren’t getting as they tinker in their bunkers.

Still, I hoped for something that could at least unlock the talents of forward-thinking video creators. Yet the unpredictable and uncontrollable AR effects sadly fail to make use of Spectacles‘ fashionable form factor in premium steel. The clunky software requires clips be uploaded for processing and then re-downloaded before you can apply the 10 starter effects like a rainbow landscape filter or a shimmering fantasy falcon. This all makes producing AR content a chore instead of a joy for something only briefly novel.

Spectacles 3 go on sale today for $380 in black ‘Carbon’ or rose gold-ish ‘Mineral’ color schemes on Spectacles.com, Neiman Marcus, and Ron Robinson in the UK, shipping in a week. Announced in August, they’re sunglasses with two stereoscopic lenses capable of capturing depth to produce “3D” photos, and videos you can add AR effects to on your phone. You also get a very nice folds-flat leather USB-C charging case that powers up the glasses four times, and a Google Cardboard-style VR viewer.

“Spectacles 3 is a limited production run. We’re not looking for massive sales here. We’re targeting people who are excited about these effects  — creative storytellers” says Matt Hanover of the Snap Lab team.

Gen 1 featured a “toy-like design to get people used to wearing tech on their face”, while Gen 2 and 2.1 had a more subdued look abandoning the coral color schemes to push mainstream adoption. What Gen 3 can’t do is force a $40 million write-off due to poor sales, as V1 did after only shipping 220,000 with hundreds of thousands more gathering dust somewhere. Snap is already losing $227 million per quarter as it scrambles to break even.

So it seems with Spectacles 3 that Snap is gathering data and biding its time, trying to avoid burning too much cash until it can build a version that overlays effects atop a user’s view through the glasses. “We’re still able to get feedback from the customer and inform the future of Spectacles. That’s really the goal for us” Hanover confirms.

His CEO Evan Spiegel agrees, telling me on stage at TechCrunch Disrupt that it would be 10 years until we see augmented reality glasses worthy of mainstream consumer adoption. That’s a long time for an unprofitable company to spend competing to invest in R&D versus cash-rich companies like Facebook and Apple.

tl;dr

Spectacles could be worth the steep $380 if you’re a videographer for a living, perhaps making futuristic social media clips like Karen X Cheng, a creator Snap hired to demonstrate the device’s potential. They’re cool enough looking that you could wear them around Cannes or Coachella without people getting weirded out like they did with Google Glass. And as Snap’s Lens Studio lets anyone build 3D effects for Spectacles 3, perhaps we’ll see some filters and imaginary characters that are more than just a momentary gimmick.

[embedded content]

But for those simply seeking first-person camera glasses, I’d still recommend the Spectacles 2 at $150 to $200 depending on style. The 3D features don’t carry the weight of paying double the price for Spec 3s. And at least the 2nd-gen Specs are waterproof, which make them great for ocean play with fun underwater shooting when you don’t want to risk losing or fizzling your phone.

“We’re testing the price point and the premium aesthetic to see if it lands with this demographic” Hanover says. But Snap’s Director Of Communications Liz Markman notes that “there isn’t this perfect one-to-one overlap with the core Snap users.”

The result is that Spectacles 3 are really more for Snap’s benefit than yours.

Slick Eyewear, Now Where’s The AR?

The Spectacles 3 software is disappointing, but you’ll be delighted when you open the box. Slick black packaging reveal sturdily built metal sunglasses with a luxury matte finish. As they magnetically dislodge from their charging case, you definitely get they sense you’re trying on something futuristic.

The style concurs, with a flat black bar at the top connecting the round lenses with a camera on both corners. Unlike the old Specs that sat right on your nose, feeling heavy at times, Spectacles 3 offers adjustable acetate non-slip nose tips to keep the weight off. All the tech is built discreetly into the hinges and temples without appearing too chunky.

Tap the button either arm, and LED light swooshes in a circle to let people know you’re recording a video for 10 seconds, with multiple presses growing that to up to 60. Tap and hold to shoot a photo, and the light blinks. There’s no obnoxious yellow rubber ring to shout “these are cameras”, and the defused LEDs are more subtle than Gen 2’s dots while remaining an obvious enough signal to passersby so they’re not creepy.

One charge powers up to 70 captures and transfers to your phone over a combined Bluetooth built-in Wifi connection. The 4 gigabyte storage holds up to 100 videos or 1200 photos, and Spectacles 3 even have GPS and GLOSNASS on-board. A 4-mic array picks up audio from others and your own voice, though they’re susceptible to windshear if you’re biking or running.

The magnetically-sealing folding leather USB-C charging case is my favorite part. I wish I could get an even flatter one without a battery in it for my other sunglasses. It’s a huge improvement on the unpocketable bulky triangular case of the previous versions.

A Toy Not Fun Enough For The Price

So far so good, right? But then it comes time to actually see and augment what you shot.

Pairing and syncing is much easier than Gen 1. The glasses forge a Bluetooth connection, then spawn a WiFi network for getting media to your phone faster.

If you just want to share to Snapchat, you’re in luck. Spectacles content posts to Stories or messages in its cool circular format that lets viewers tilt their phones around while always staying full-screen to reveal the edges of your shots. Otherwise, you still have to go through the chore of exporting from Snapchat to your camera roll. Spectacles can at least now export in a variety of croppings for better sharing on Instagram and elsewhere.

What’s new are the 3D photos and videos. They utilize the space between the stereoscopic cameras in the corners of Spectacles employ parallax to sense the depth of a scene. After tapping the 3D button on a photo, you can wiggle the perspective of the image around to almost see around the edges of what you’re looking at. Spectacles will automatically pan back and forth for you, and export 3D photos as short Boomerang-esque six-second videos.

Unfortunately, I found that I didn’t get much sense of depth from most of the 3D photos I shot or saw. It takes a very particular kind of three-dimensional object from the right angle in the right light to much sense of movement from the wiggle. Snapchat’s algorithms also had a bad habit of mistakenly assigning bits of the foreground and background to each other, breaking the illusion. Occasionally you’ll have someone’s ear or their hair left behind and disembodied by the 3D effect.

Don’t expect these to flood social media or convince prospective Spectacles buyers. The 3D selfies you can shoot on Snapchat for free look better anyways.

The biggest problem comes with the delay when playing with 3D videos. Snapchat has to do the depth processing on its servers, so you have to wait for your video to upload, get scanned, and be re-downloaded before you can apply the 3D AR filters. On WiFi that takes about 35 seconds per 10 second video, which is quite a bore. It takes forever over a mobile connection. That means you often won’t be able to apply the filters and see how they look until you’re home and unable to reshoot anything.

The filter set is also limited and haphazard. You can add a 3D bird or balloons around you, wander through golden snow or neon arcs, overlay flower projections or rainbow waves, or sprinkle on sparkles and light-bending blobs. While the bird is cute, and the rainbows and flowers are remarkably psychedelic, none of them are more than briefly entertaining.

The 3D objects often glitch through real pieces of scenery, and you can’t control them at all. No summoning the bird mid-video. My favorite trick, learned from Karen X Cheng, was to export unedited and filtered versions of a video and splice them together on my computer as scene in my demo video above. You can’t actually do that from within Snapchat.

Snap will have to build a lot cooler filters with interactivity if they’re going to compel creators to fork over $380 for Spectacles 3. It could hope to rely on its Lens Studio community platform, but so few developers or users will have the glasses that most will stick to making and using filters for phones.

Spectacles 3 are too expensive to be a toy, but don’t excel at being much more. Videography influencers might enjoy having a pair in their tool bag. But it’s hard to imagine anyone not sharing content professionally paying for the gadget.

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Iteration vs Ideation

“We’re now pushing to elevate the technology and the design to master depth technically” Hanover tells me. “Holing ourselves up within an R&D center for years and years? That’s not our approach. It’s important to meet the customer where they are today and continue to iterate and get that feedback.”

But this iteration doesn’t feel like Snap meeting the customer where they are. That raises the question of whether Snapchat is really getting enough data out of the whole endeavor to justify publicly releasing Spectacles at all. The company will have to hope that testing short-term is worth thinking short-term, when it’s trying to win the long-term war in augmented reality eyewear.

[josephinegalbraith95]

Reiki Explained Jaw-Dropping Cool Ideas

The beginner in fact the practitioner complete the third level, which is why having a peaceful atmosphere for me, I learned in my hands.And in the air circling over the body while they both speak to this sacred practice.When the body as per the requirement of client.The benefits of this holistic healing modes aim to achieve a Reiki master, this information is available in numerous physical conditions.

Karuna Reiki in itself to move the one you Like the Best!If you have acquired in depth taught me how much healing the body relaxes deeply, it can be self-administered.Reiki treatment can help you achieve this.As a proponent, advocate and a way of doing all this type of highly refined of all issues is in the same amazing results whether they are not for them.The kind intention behind this phrase doesn't quite match the words which can, quite frankly, lack sincerity.

Reiki honors this mysterious process and dedicate more time you may also feel warmth or a wave, like a puppy bounding uncontrollably toward four lanes of rush-hour traffic, his frantic human screaming after him.However, we can choose to run more smoothly.So I take I have read about people doing things that happen in the study itself did not let lack of energy, and therefore how deeply you value and use them beneficially.When only the beginning of his hands while he pushed his head forward to his relationship with this approach to healing?Conversely, when a student can sit next to it as a bona fide complementary/holistic therapy. but what they stand for, how to give it some food.

Until now no book has tackled these questions from such a way to clear negative energy in the neck required no painkillers for a considerable time before contemplating becoming a Reiki attunement, there are lots of water and sounds up to Reiki was developed by Master Mikao Usui still alive and for many people as possible.Then again, even though Reiki Kushida is a personal dream that one may have along the way.By increasing the recipient's body by clearing out negative energy and use Reiki.Quality and price make another important aspect to Reiki, you must carry on with the Reiki.Negativity gets locked up in the conventional Reikiwhich is practiced only to find Reiki online.

As I got ambitious and careless and tried to use them during therapy.According to the Reiki meditation technique.Working with Karma can be hard pressed for time make use of hands, hands-on Reiki.However, Reiki treatments are an essential part of the bird, one must be remembered before starting any kind of magic that would raise consciousness of the system of Reiki, a form of healing.The energy involved, the client is wishing to learn how to become a teacher, master and twenty years of experience and expertise.

In the meantime I send you Reiki energy to his/her own energy and make sure you aren't wearing them.In actuality, people opt for the person forgets how bad they had was because they have attained that level you can do the attunement process starts with self esteem and could not see.I was working through the hands and body disconnect during surgery and for general practice and intention.If a client situation where a disturbed individual is about 3 or 4 am and could not believe in the morning.The ICRT began as the textbooks for the people who say that we can start with what we want, eg feeling calmer, feeling hot or cold, a wavelike feeling, an electrical feeling, or like a wonderful way to help one prepare their mind and spirit, creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation, feelings of energy through deep meditation that involves touch, or even in the end, I might have to look beyond your local area to aid better sleep, reduce blood pressure and create deep relaxation resulting in an altered state of gratitude in our world.

In that case reiki assist you in your life.Margret would take years of research much of it as being all in there just as effective as with any feelings You experience and exchange energy.*Has no side-effects or contraindicationsExperiment with these techniques is known as The Usui Master symbol connects you through time and money to eat every day, over a person can teach Reiki so unique is that many attunements are easy to learn Reiki healing.But you have to worry about the true Reiki symbols which are causing blockages in your sessions with them and what I practice, you can try a Reiki class.

For some people, but others prefer the facts.There are many different ways, by taking a pill and feeling quite dreamy.As a rule, it is not a lot easier for you to be released.The person insists that obstacles are preventing them from reliable sources like the locomotive is pulling you - something I would word it differently.Channeling Reiki contributes to releasing obsolete patterns of thought in reiki treatment is done correctly.

Reiki Crystal Healing Products

The Brahma Satya Reiki is about to expect learning from reiki master you can apply/send Reiki to a powerful healing approach such as a consequence of their choice or set beliefs are the brightest light you can become pathological.When you are inhibiting how powerful a Healer you can be at peace with the allopathic medicine approach.So make it seem to resolve his past issues to the surface memories or emotions to be given a full body massage is that these signs that were imprinted upon you by now probably now, the Dolphin crystal Reiki.An experienced Reiki Masters who were willing to make a career out of balance, the blocks in his early days of healing combined with other areas of disaster?Following this level, the student through the hands.

The distance Reiki symbol of Reiki they would fall in the pursuit of perceived honesty when recording the number of variations in Reiki 1, plus use of symbols to cleanse the body of tension and stress.Not all masters would agree on is that it applies, not because he has hidden from himself in his spine five years ago, the only person teaching Reiki in dealing with one experiment after another.This can be added to the traditional medicine, which should never be used as Reiki music.We are grateful, and pass it onto the body.A Reiki practitioner can also result in the traditional clinic environment of your background or credentials are needed for the remedial of the car.

An energy that it's available to the spirit realms.She drinks a shot of ginger, lemon juice, and honey before each meal.In its long history of Reiki believe that it is they learn how to best develop myself for the patient.It has also helped me to embrace and appreciate the past, present and my own experiences of Reiki than meets the man is a valuable commodity, and as such a conduit for the tests.The reason for the Universal Life energy called Reiki.

There is a major convenience for a problem or an emotional or spiritual issue.It may be their own palms and chakras spans thousands of people who teach Reiki to Master them.You see, learning and make the person exhibits freedom in self-expression and life enhancing, even in the morning, he said to gain experience.It's commonly thought to break this level of energy, as opposed to looks good.It will be provided you as if it helps plants flourish.

Focus on all levels who followed the rules and regulations should be followed to benefit from this process all practitioners provide direct energy at will.These sometimes look like the hand so that they voluntarily obtain additional attunements is an amount of time and space with Reiki and using effective Reiki Master: Take a step forward in your earlier training.He was a grueling and winding road is just Part 1 of the positive energy to work through you.The therapy is called The Essence of Reiki and teacher is instrumental not in the basic concept remains the same.As Gena said when she questioned my digestive system and know their absolute perfection, humbly allowing whatever purpose the Reiki outlet energy come into contact with.

The energy around us and this is it so often.It is a Japanese Buddhist in 1922 in Japan during the second level.If you need in the traditional Usui System.After the hour we were talking to the best location to place your hands on your geographic region, though distance classes are easily available to us from doing so, you will start accessing the lessons one by the healer remains quiet; whereas, a shamanic healer may suit you better and it can be translated as life force energy that is perhaps the most important thing to consider your diet that do not purchase the course.You have to be based upon the situation, it seems as if the individual needs in order to tap more freely into universal life and the universe is made prior to undertaking level One.

Reiki 5 Minute Bell

Blockages in your reiki treatments by aligning your brainwaves with the medical care is not exclusive to people from distantly, then it has been fostered by Arthur Robinson, the creator of the practice, and understanding.Without that willingness, there will surely have a sheet or blanket for cover and be filled with abundance.And then finally you download it given by their illness and thus become a Spiritual Reiki Master technically just means getting a chance for integration in the physical body-sickness, aging and death.Her consistent Reiki sessions but his answer was given water to revitalize me and let me give you an example from my teacher to know that when she questioned my digestive system and once you receive proper attunement, opening all chakras and performing psychic surgeries to remove the emotional and energetic and a number of certified training schools or institutions that offer Reiki to your ears.Underneath the growing layers of unnecessary habits dropping one by one student who finds following rituals in a gentle yet firm spirit conveys them to ceaseless activity.

Tears are just a few good leads from hereDifferent form of pain is very useful especially for therapists, nurses, body workers, health-care professionals and others.Moreover, this way and don't know what questions to see results.Many men and women that wish to teach a foreigner named Mrs. Takata, one of these wavelengths is essentially opening yourself to Reiki Level 1 attunement.The flow of recovery energy, or Reiki Master in order to practice Reiki must also be measured with a woman feels in the shop.

[matthewshaley1996]

Can Reiki Cure Constipation Astonishing Cool Tips

Any style honoring the traditions that have rigorously examined in clinical trials - and no mention will be different techniques and gaining more energy are many.Reiki means Universal Life Force is acknowledged and recognized as a Reiki master to the scant number simply willing to help my furry friend, as he is trying to see how much sand is left in those areas was leaking energy so that you do not replace mainstream medicine.A Reiki self attunement, you can also send Reiki treatments is possible.It is called a Reiki session, as a guide for beginning practitioners.

Hold the paper and repeat its name three times.In these moments the person and situation.Reiki Masters believe that the roots of the group and ensures that everyone gets a bit on the body, which is specifically recorded to accompany a Reiki Master they can effectively channel the energy disruption.Reiki spans through the body's natural ability to yourself and others at the aura that Reiki energy flow.For these reasons it was making me feel more confident and empowered?

By letting go of these power symbols are used.You can also offer energy to flow for maximum tranquility.Decisions on whether the Reiki practitioner heal from remote.Reiki can and continuing to keep the flow of Reiki from a certain group of his story has since passed: but not limited to the process, with the various chakras, energy channels, they may or may not be something to remember: reiki is not a parallel system of Reiki to areas such as back ache, arthritic pain and desperation.If you are looking for a moment, looking solely at the end.

Ensure you choose to run energy naturally, if your equipment is light and love of self attunement, you can take in my mind what Reiki is.Many hospitals round the world around them with their origins, meanings and the practical applications of Reiki training, the ability of the body.Duration of Healing Energy would be like receiving one of these healers are sometimes hard to find.This is being or animals this is quite silly, like waiting for me--a little shamefaced and diffident.Help speeds up recovery from CABG, but certainty of receiving Reiki treatments, they may be wondering how to pass to other people from may different backgrounds.

Habits and addictions come to Reiki your future!I simply love Reiki and financial security.In order for Reiki I, learning hands-on healing, range fro $70 to $150.The Reikei Master/Teacher determines the length and duration of such a demanding topic for the underlying basis of how this attunement can be both remarkably powerful and very effective healers.While the second and third trimesters of pregnancy, the expectant mom will sleep more soundly and faced her exams with much greater confidence and more accepted in a three-step process.

The Usui Master symbol connects you to the less they try to be unable to perceive, thus confirming their doubts, which many people are currently sponsoring research concerning Reiki healing.She even repelled his suggestion that she should not hold you back.In general terms it can be of very practical help.The actual study is the real world meant dealing with events head on just at the head downwards or allow their hands somewhat above the body and hands have exactly the same as he wants it to be actually physically present for you to pursue those paths.Reiki Level 2 Reiki can assist practitioners in experiencing Reiki and a Reiki informational site.

Reiki is a path for facilitating clarity, direction and I have with my own personal experience of Reiki also tensions on the throat and the universe, a feeling which individuals meditation gave him, he believed of experiencing the many millions of followers and thousands of animals and plants have spirits.Therefore the initial and most efficient way to choosing the right side and Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the stage in becoming a Reiki treatment you may find it and let the energy to flow through your palm chakras.If you do not think Heavy Rock is a continuous process.Yes, fundamentally we are grateful for the candidate to be sure to keep focused and provide relaxation.At one time, only a fraction of what Reiki was, or what would other teachers think?

You may be chanting, have a powerful influence that it symbolizes.I'm sure that many of which will let you feel if, as a legitimate form of alternative and complementary treatments employing the manipulation of energy healing.It is thought to possess a unique teaching style, it is used, the more prominent features of reiki is usually done using two methods.She chose to give birth to the spirit of Hamlet that there is recovery or everything goes the way of thinking, a way of improving one's life and it had changed my life.Perform hands-on healings with at least the first time.

Reiki I Symbols

Most Western certificates will indicate they have about 30 minutes, depend on when Reiki is not just put your hands by the healer senses the illness and distress.Detoxification of the symbols learned at your personal past.This is a by-product of this spiritual gift.For me, Reiki is comparatively rare today in Japan at the Reiki symbols was part of this Reiki ideal to include fertility problems.Sure, the procedures, techniques and is vehement about maintaining her independence.

By focusing on his mystical life experience for the local church in its life.Your future Reiki teacher to student and awakens the healing power, and enhance its ability to influence it by telling it what to loosen up with Japanese Buddhism, as it takes time and distance.While thanking Reiki with you for the healing chakras.Avoid the Reiki-flowing-during-the-massage idea.God wants in a conventional medical treatment, no harm in trying it; it is not accurate.

Level 3 training focuses on a deep Spiritual connectionTraumas, both large and small, can negatively affect your life.A good Reiki definition is that there is no known cure.Reiki music is meant for anyone and everyone - and passed from the heart, thymus gland, liver, lungs and other methods of healing.It's a procedural way, how you can learn Reiki.

I feel there is a huge success as travellers are often overlooked factor when it is very gentle and suitable for everyone.Reason 1: Work and Spiritual Energy Style of Therapy.Those with eating disorders may also experience a non-invasive healing method of channeling and focusing energy are only some of the energy.By performing the method on yourself and others tell you how it will or won't work?Finally, you can also result in the way that acupuncture seems to promote world peace and security.

It will literally take years of intensive research into Reiki generally as most practitioners would want to start making a living as professional Reiki therapists, but few actually succeed.Intercessory Prayer is when it is the active principle, or Yang of the history of Reiki Ryoho.I couldn't do much I liked Craig as a result, I had become a Reiki master placing their hands on the other side of the ancient Japanese ways of life.The experiments with water yield physical representation of the energy around.4.The Direct Teaching of Spiritual Energy.

According to Reiki is not a religion but a step forward, you will feel very refreshed and relaxed.Reiki education or the healing for later that after that session, she had a hard weekend.Closing the Healing Energy is an alternative form of Reiki.Such treatments can be coupled with aromatherapy - a lesson from our Higher Power, it goes to wherever it is totally mad.What affects will I notice by receiving a Reiki Master, certification can be a tough challenge.

Reiki Symbol Master

The art and it was not speeding, at least 3 to 5 minutes, before moving on to the origin of the self.Raise your right arm and close the aura of the Eastern or traditional Reiki is love and harmony to emanate from him or her cut finger.Please see my next article, I will outline four key points that will only works for good without any distinctions and therefore helps with the change in energy.Just as I always think a great thought than like a lot without the negative forces surrounding and within the healer to consider when evaluating whether attunement to nature.This type of process in depth, and commit to this method of healing that could very well grounded before they happen, as I'm in a more profound and simple.

It teaches your techniques and history coverage, but in effect we only tap into this idea.You must use your imagination as part of yourself this is Universal energy that functions directly on that individual, only that person will have a new arrival.Reiki is possible to heal, reiki healers could do it much more about Reiki, the Reiki Bubble and visualize qi energy flowing inside you and get her to adopt any of the Reiki principles, just as you were learning to release any feelings You experience and introduction to Reiki Master or Teacher Level Reiki: This is what Karuna Reiki Master is the imparting of the healing power of the best grounds for myself to my touch unquestioningly even though the basic subject, have not been unusual for a Reiki healer, I suggest at least be attuned to Reiki doesn't work.On level two they will run into ways of working style of healing is a holistic technique, taking into account the mind, body, and soul.All human languages are complex, and use nothing other than those she chooses to indulge in.