#tumblr hates me today lmao

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

[coridallasmultipass]

Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.

You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.

[imwritesometimes]

nothing like waking up and immediately having horrible migraine aura followed by a horrible fckn migraine to just completely derail all the plans you had 😖

[risingsunresistance]

[zoideramy]

The current state of my backlog...

I think I have about 50 or so kits of varying difficulties and styles that have been gotten since ~2019ish. Now, some of these are for future customs I'd like to do, but a lot are simply waiting for their turn to be detailed and built. I'm nearly done with my current custom project and latest build though, so I'll be able to start some new projects soon!

Also finished this little guy, the Proto Beast Liger, during my birthday build night a couple days ago, and received 2 more kits for the backlog too 😅 It was great!!

[boomerang109]

what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i haven’t literally been doing it since age 13 but because it’s not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if it’s downhill from here?

[funkytoesart]

tw for ed talk in the tags so like,,, idk be mindful of that i guess if you happen to read the tags of this post? just need to vent to the void a lil lol

[crqstalite]

see a lot of the time im like ‘hearing crit is good! i like to be well informed 🥰’ and other times im scrolling thru a tag and i no longer want to see someones shit and block on sight

[haarute]

i'm sorry but as someone who is always trying to understand most things and most people, the reaction a lot of folks have of immediately dismissing something or jumping to an outrage without having a second to try to reflect on a situation or process empathy is something that i will never relate to and i consider to be a bad mentality to have if left unchecked actually

[sunnibits]

haircut completed, gayness restored, +50 HP

[idunnowhattowriteheretbh]

I can't remember where I saw it but there was some mermaid AU idea for TSP and I can't get it out of my head.

So I decided to give it a try and draw some mermaid Narrator with pirate Stanley I guess?????

I'm still thinking about it and maybe will post more about it idk.

Anyways it's still a wip so it will take some time until it will be done. :D

I'm drawing it on A4 paper with aquarelle coloured pencils from koh-i-noor (I'm sorry too lazy to write it correctly) it's something I'm not used to (and I don't know where the f- my water colours are and this was the only option)

So ye-

Enjoy I guess????

[brightgolden]

.

[kyopmi]

i just want to rant a little EW feel free to ignore this i just needed a void to yell at <3

[orcelito]

Trying out this new thing called "don't think about my life after tiring shifts" bc how I feel at these times does not reflect how I feel at the average moment & so it brings me more peace if I Don't Fucking Think About It

[carolinanadeau]

Embarrassing, ridiculous TMI under the readmore (not gross! just way too personal!)

I do not have PTSD and I don't want to be a part of the "flippantly using the word 'trigger'" problem at all, but I think I finally found a proper name for this harmful behavior I've wrestled with since at least high school, and it's called self-triggering.

Again, I don't have trauma... well, everybody has some trauma, but that's not the thing I'm triggering myself about here. And if I explained what I had actually been doing to myself (which may be obvious to someone who's reading between the lines but I don't want to talk about it for reasons I've stated before), it would sound laughably, mockably trivial. But the results are still an acute increase in depression and obsessive negative/angry thinking and distress and alienation from something that usually gives me joy... so it's still harmful to me, no matter how stupid and frivolous it sounds. Perhaps it's an OCD/depression self-triggering instead of a PTSD self-triggering.

I reiterate, what I'm discussing is not trauma, not EVER claiming it is, but:

In a similar vein, one set of case studies (De Young, 1984) conceptualized approaching situations reminiscent of the trauma as “counterphobic behavior” (i.e., an attempt to master anxiety by repeatedly approaching its source, resulting in a greater sense of control).  

I understand this, the "maybe if I keep looking I'll become desensitized", and "I need more information so I can better avoid this thing and people associated!" Or even "well maybe it wasn't really that bad, maybe I'm remembering it as worse than it was" (I'm not, if anything I've forgotten just how bad it was!)

Likewise, if trauma survivors perceive reexperiencing symptoms as inevitable, they may wish to decide the time and place of their occurrence, affording them a sense of control.

...is that the irrational "gotta get it over with" compulsion??  

Alarmingly, many users also report being unable to stop this behavior once they have begun despite the dysregulation and distress that it causes.

This is how it goes: I will read or even just skim through something that causes me serious emotional distress, whether that is a fanfiction with something horrible happening to characters I find comfort in, or a really nasty article full of harsh, baseless criticisms of something I love so much. (Again, these things sound laughable but to the way my mind works, it is not. Though I also do something similar with actual bad memories from my life [I think everyone does], well, you can't "reread" or refresh those. And I also have the power to delete/destroy any physical records I have of those.)

So, I will vow to never ever let this wretched thing enter my eyeballs again. I will ruminate about it and quietly seethe about the fact that it exists, and that some people even like/agree with it! I won't be able to get certain upsetting phrases out of my head and I will obsess and it will ruin my enjoyment of related things whenever I get reminded of it.

Maybe I will find ways to block or blacklist to lower my chances of seeing it. And I will be very vigilant about this for a long time and will successfully avoid it, even if I see reminders here and there that make me mad. Slowly, I'll only remember a few specific sentences from the thing, and even those may be unclear.

And then I'll suddenly develop the belief that I "have to" look at it again for some reason, and my heart will start pounding as I start bracing myself for this "inevitability".  And eventually the irrational, self-destructive side will win out and I'll do it, believing that it's like ripping a bandaid off for the greater good. Gotta get it over with, you see. I'll only glance over it, of course, because this time I already know how bad it is - I'll just read a few sentences here and there on my way to do something "sensible" like block the url or check who liked it so I know it wasn't my friends - but it will be enough to make me feel like absolute shit for days again, and now I have these fresh memories in my head to contend with and the cycle of trying to forget these bad bad thoughts and be able to freely enjoy the thing I love starts all over again.

and that's what you missed on Glee!

[imwritesometimes]

we are doing Christmas on Christmas Eve for scheduling reasons so I technically only have like 3 days until Christmas and I'm in that weird limbo where I have so much to do but can't do any of it yet cause it's still too early and it's killing me