from the top of the stairwell in my house, i could hear my two big brothers discussing my big birthday party that was set to take place later that afternoon.
i was turning five, which apparently was a “big age,” according to them. i always thought a big age was 27, or 25, like them. mom always liked to use the word “milestone” when she talked about big ages. then again, she used that word all the time, not just in talking about ages. for instance, she always talked about milestones when she was jogging. she loved doing that.
henry and percy gained a baby sister when they were 22 and 20. i always asked them if it was weird. that i was basically still a baby to them. “nah, we love it,” they told me. “that means we get to permanently pick on you.” i think they were just messing with me when they said that.
“so, let’s see who we have here, maisie, aria, cooper, benny, kidd… i think that’s it.”
“yeah, they’re all coming over.”
“is that confirmed?”
“yeah. you talk to the parents?”
“i thought that was your responsibility?”
“psh, you know how anxious i get over the phone.”
“c’mon, man, we’re teachers. we have to talk to them all the time.”
“still doesn’t make it easy.”
“and… you picked up the blue monster cake that she wanted?”
“i called, said they were out of stock.”
“crap, then what do we do?”
“i’ve no idea.”
“we’ll think of something.”
“yeah, def.”
later that day, i could see several adults and several children come in through the door.
my brothers began to greet the grownups, socializing with them this way and that.
still, i observed from the stairwell, a bit shy to come down.
“yeah, we’re both teachers at the dreamers academy. it’s, uh, it’s a school. well, we do volunteer at the humane society from time to time.”
“well, i think i’m the only one still doing that.”
“it’s hard to carve time out of my schedule, okay?”
“while you’re doing what? binge watching hulu?”
“man’s gotta do what man’s gotta do.”
“i swear to god.”
i could hear several adults laughing.
“yeah, we set up a starbucks date sometime? maybe grab coffee and donuts? wait, does starbucks even have donuts?”
“yeah, absolutely, great to see you again! yeah, she’s getting big, growing up too fast.”
“i remember when she was little, well, she’ll always be little to us, but when she was little little, she’d follow us around all the time…”
“did it ever get annoying? no, we were mature about it.”
“she’s always been cute. always loved us.”
“yeah, absolutely. she’s five now, can you believe it?”
“hey, you know where she is?”
“did you call her down?”
“allie? where are you love?”
“maybe she’s with the other kids in the bonus room.”
“yeah, let’s check there.”
i heard their voices fade as they walked away from the bottom of the stairwell and further into the house.
we had a big house. it had three stories. the giant blue room that took up most of the third floor was mine. it used to be an attic, but then we moved the attic into a storage closet on the first floor. i think it came right after i was born.
my brothers were right in saying that they were both teachers. they were both naturally gifted with kids. the dreamers academy sounded like a strange name for a school, but it was all to appeal to the adults who wanted to send their kids away to a place where they could have fun and dream big while they learn. that was kind of their motto, anyway. and it attracted the kids, as well, because all the teachers were devoted, dedicated individuals who always prioritized the children they taught. and they made the lessons fun. and no day was ever challenging, at least, according to my brothers.
but they could often times be intimidating to someone as little as me. i only knew them, truly knew them, for two years. i only began talking when i was two. and they never really spent time around the house until i was around three. i don’t even remember being held by them. i did remember the following them around part, though.
i always thought of them as fun uncles. i never thought of them as my brothers.
but they had tender, caring hearts. big, big hearts. like they were giant, human teddy bears. soft, gentle and huggable.
but, at the age of almost five, i was shy. reserved. quiet. but that never bothered them. they said that maybe i’d grow out of my quiet demeanor, my shyness, but that if i didn’t, well, it wasn’t a big deal.
suddenly i heard voices shouting,
“allie?! allie?! where are you? the party’s down here, silly!”
“allie, come down, please, everyone’s waiting for you!”
a few moments later:
“allie, don’t make me count to three.”
nobody could see me because i was on the third floor, not the first. i was so high up that it wouldn’t be easy to spot me.
i liked to be elusive. but sometimes that got me in big trouble.
so i rushed downstairs and attacked both henry and percy’s legs with big hugs.
“ahaha, there she is!”
“hey, birthday girl!”
“kiddo.” i felt one of them rub the top of my head.
i said hi to all of my friends thag showed up. my brothers were all familiar with them, since they all attended the same school as me and we were all in the same classes. henry taught reading and math and percy taught gym. they looked kind of similar, but henry wore glasses a lot of the time.
“mr. angus,” (that was our last name and how the rest of the kids knew my brothers), “i want to play in the bonus room, can we play in the bonus room?”
i saw one of my friends tugging on henry’s wrist and hand with both their hands.
that made me laugh a bit.
“absolutely!” he chuckled when the tugging got to be so forceful it dragged his feet across the tile floor of the kitchen. “alright, alright, i’m coming!”
i looked up to percy, who was just about to join them before he looked down to me. “hey, allicat, ya comin?”
i giggled and nodded, following him into the big bonus room.
later on, both of my brothers, down on their hands and knees, got trampled on by me all my friends. we were using them like giant jungle gyms.
my friends’ parents liked to tease me a bit, saying stuff like “oh, you must be the smartest kid that goes there, you have two brothers who are both teachers there!” this wasn’t really true. i wasn’t realy that smart for an almost five year old. but my brothers didn’t mind.
later on, henry had gotten dragged into a different direction by the kids while i followed percy into the kitchen. he was going to call a bakery to see if they had another cake in stock for me.
“percy, i wanna show you my handstand! can you see it? please??”
he chuckled and sat down on the kitchen counter. “alright, let me see it.”
so i did it for as long as i could, never minding that my hands were touching a floor that so many feet had stepped on. but it was near-perfect. and i was quite proud of it.
“wow, look at you go! that was brilliant!” he clapped a bit, laughing. “well done! how long have you been practicing?”
i shrugged. “i don’t know, i don’t do it much, i just wanted someone to see it.”
“that was really good, allie, well done kiddo!” he got off the counter and bent down to rub the top of my head.
i frowned. “i want to show henry, but… i’m afraid he’ll laugh.”
“aw, sunshine, no he won’t. he’ll love it as much as i do.”
“you promise?”
“i promise.” he drew an x on his heart, smiling down at me to show that he meant it. “c’mon, you wanna go show it to him right now?”
suddenly i felt my cheeks turn bright red. suddenly i got all shy again. i shook my head.
“aw, why not? you shy?”
i nodded.
“allie,” he laughed, “don’t be shy. if you want, i can get his attention.”
i nodded, my smile fading.
his faded right alongside mine as he took a knee in front of me.
“aw, allie, what’s wrong?” he rubbed my back.
“what if i mess it up?” i whispered.
“you won’t mess it up,” he chuckled. “i know this.”
“i’m still nervous,” i smiled slightly.
“aw, you shouldn’t be nervous around him, allie, he’s our big bro, he’s got your back. always.”
suddenly i could hear henry yelling from the room next door, “percy! help me! they’ve got me trapped!”
percy and i both giggled as he rolled his eyes. “oh, boy,” he sighed out, then looked down at me with a smile, nodding in that direction. “c’mon, let’s go help him out, and then we can show everyone your impressive handstand.”
“it’s not impressive,” i muttered.
“well, i think it is.” suddenly he took my hand and ran off towards the living room, pulling me like a sled dog.
he always liked to do that with me, and every time it made me laugh.
right as we entered the room, however, the doorbell rang.
“oh, that must be the cake!” percy exclaimed. “hang on,” he held up a finger, “i’ll be right back.”
as i watched him run off towards the front door, i felt someone tug my hand in the direction of henry (the same hand tugger as before) and someone else shouting in my ear, “c’mon allie! we gotta trample him!”
“i’m already trampled, geez!” that was henry’s comical squeaky high pitched voice. of course, this made all the kids shriek with laughter.
a few moments later, we could hear percy’s voice from the kitchen:
“alright, who’s ready for cake?”
all the kids instantly hopped off of henry and stormed off, eagerly awaiting a slice.
henry and i had to both run to join them, henry sounding a bit out of breath.
after everyone sang happy birthday to me (i turned a bit red in the face, as my shyness sometimes couldn’t handle a bunch of people singing directly to me), and i helped percy cut the cake, and after we stuffed our faces with said cake, we eagerly ran back into the bonus room, with henry breathlessly following close behind. i knew percy probably ran to clean up.
“alright, now who’s ready for a talent contest?” henry asked all of us.
“ooh ooh!! me! me! me!” a whole bunch of hands shot up.
“alright, who’s willing to go first? well, actually, how bout we have the birthday girl go first?” henry gestured to me. “how’s about it, allie!”
“yeah, allie!”
“yay, allie!”
“woo, allieee!!!” everyone was looking at me, clapping at me.
“c’mon allie!”
“you can do this!”
“you got this!”
suddenly one of the kids had started up a chant. “al-lie! al-lie! al-lie!”
soon all of them joined in, clapping to the rhythm.
now, i was absolutely mortified. i knew i wanted to do my handstand, and this was the perfect golden opportunity, but… i still wasn’t feeling confident about it. i knew i could do it in front of percy, but… could i do it front of henry?
“n-no,” i shook my head, nervously clasping my hands together and fidgeting slightly. “i-i don’t wanna go…”
“oh, allie, why not?”
“yeah, are you afraid?”
“you scared?”
“you’re a chicken!”
“c’mon, allie…”
now, this was far, far worse than anyone laughing at me. this was teasing. jeering. bullying.
i looked over to henry, who was trying his best to settle the crowd down, holding his hands out in front and gradually bringing them down, a gesture to hopefully mitigate all the noise.
“guys, guys, hey, c’mon now, we’re not gonna make her feel bad now, right?”
“but she won’t do it for us!”
“yeah, like, look at her!”
“she’s a wimp!”
“guys! what did i say?”
but it was too late to change anything now.
“i-i’m sorry…” i choked out before i ran out of the room, the tears already stinging my eyes.
i could very faintly hear henry yelling “allie! wait! come back!”
but i’d already gotten to the front door, running out of it and finding a place to sit down at the far end of our porch.
i buried my face in my hands and began to cry.
i felt absolutely awful.
but what was probably even worse was that outside, it was freezing cold.
at least it was quiet.
suddenly i heard the front door open, and felt someone sit beside me, placing a gentle hand on my back.
“allie, what happened? why’d you run out like that?”
i sniffled, “i don’t wanna talk about it. they were making fun of me.”
“making fun of you?” his voice expressed nothing but concern, i could even hear it crack a bit.
i nodded, crying softly.
“aw, alliecat, c’mere,” i felt a warm sweater wrap around me and hold me tight.
“here, i’ll get henry for you and distract those other kids while you do your handstand for him. just for him.” his voice softened even more. “alright?”
i sniffled but nodded, looking up at him with teary eyes.
he smiled back down and swiped my nose with his finger. “atta girl,” he chuckled. “i’ll get henry, there’s plenty of grass here, you got this, champ.” he rubbed the top of my head again before he set me aside, getting up and going back inside.
my eyes followed him back in, and through the window i could see a perfect view of the bonus room. henry was getting toppled by the kids again, and he looked absolutely miserable. percy went running in, pulling kids off of him. i could very faintly hear him say, “alright, let’s give my poor brother a break from all your chaos for right now.”
i could then hear a collective “aww,” coming out of them.
“but! you get to beat up on me instead! how’s that sound you lot?”
suddenly there was loud cheers, percy saying an emphatic “alright!” through the cheers.
henry immediately got up and limped off to the side, shaking his head in bewilderment before putting his hands together and mouthing “thank you,” to percy, who flashed him a smile and a thumbs up in return.
percy must have told him prior that i had run outside and that he was going to check on me, and now he was telling henry that it was his turn to check on me.
before i knew it, i could hear the front door open again, and i saw henry come out. he sighed softly and muttered to himself, “phew, never thought i’d ever get away from those psychos.”
then he glanced over to the side of the porch i wasn’t on, before glancing in my direction. “ah, there you are,” i saw him point in my direction, smiling a bit.
he ran over and slid down beside me. “those kids scare both of us, don’t they?”
i nodded, shivering slightly. the cold was now starting to get to me.
“i’m sorry,” i whispered. “i wanted.. i wanted to show you my… my handstand but…” suddenly i broke out into an onslaught of tears all over again.
“no,” i heard him whisper, taking my hands in his and lifting me into his lap, “i’m sorry. i should’ve been paying more attention to you but… your friends wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“it’s okay,” i smiled slightly before it faded once more. “but… it’s also okay if you don’t want to see my, uh, my, um… i mean… it’s not very good…”
“no, no, i’m intrigued, let me see it.”
i shook my head.
“c’mon, alls, pretty please? just for me? just for your lame old brother? who can’t even do a handstand himself?”
i giggled a bit at this. “but… i’m not very good.”
“percy says you’re really good at it… and he usually doesn’t lie to me… i make sure of it.” he chuckled slightly. “now, c’mon, before we freeze to death, it’s getting cold and i’d like to head back in soon.”
i sighed. “okay, okay.” then i looked into his eyes sincerely, remembering something. “it’s okay if you laugh, too.”
“i won’t laugh, i promise. if you fall down, maybe, but you know i can’t help it. you do too, i know this.”
i frowned slightly.
“i’ll try not to,” he dropped his voice down, rubbing the back of my neck a bit.
i smiled. “okay.”
he clasped his hands together, before rubbing them in anticipation, “okay, c’mon, show me. i’m anxiously waiting.” he waved me off in the direction of the front yard.
so i went down the steps and into the yard.
and i tried to do one, but, i couldn’t quite stick it, and ended up falling down.
i felt my face turn red.
“i’m sorry,” i called to him, starting to walk back up to him.
“no, no, it’s okay, try again!” he waved me back to the yard.
the one thing i noticed was that he didn’t laugh.
so that made me feel a bit better.
so i tried again.
and again.
and another time.
and on the fifth try, i finally got my handstand to stick perfectly, like it did with percy.
suddenly i felt myself being lifted by the legs, spun around a bit before being flipped right side up and caught in an arm.
“bravooo!! that was all you? wowwwzzaaaa.” i felt my stomach being tickled by a few fingers. “clever girl.” he was bouncing me up and down now, and i was shrieking with laughter.
“seriously, bravo. that was incredible.” we were both inside now, the kids still playing in the bonus room with percy.
the way henry carried me reminded me of how a fun uncle would carry me, in the most irregular, not normal way possible. i liked that a lot.
“here, they’re gonna be a while playing tug of war or whatever, i wanna show you something really fast.” henry took me away from the living room and carried me upstairs, into his room.
i never got to see his room that much. mostly percy’s, because he’d sometimes invite me in case i had a nightmare. naturally, henry’s room always tended to be a bit messier, but that’s just how he liked it, i guess.
“so…” i coughed a little, half from the cold, half from the way henry was holding me. “did you… like my handstand?”
henry adjusted me so i was being held the proper way. “course i did, you kidding? that was freaking brilliant stuff. brilliant brilliant stuff.” he smiled and squeezed me a bit. “so proud of you, lil’ sis.”
i giggled at this as he set me down on his bed. “excuse the mess,” he rolled his eyes playfully as he sorted through a dresser full of old photos, taking a few out that his fingers stumbled across.
one of the pictures he showed me was of him holding what looked to be a one-year-old baby upside down, on the floor, with her hands touching it and their feet dangling in the air. “guess who taught you how to do a handstand?” he pointed to himself, beaming proudly.
“that was me?” i pointed at the baby.
“in the flesh.” he rubbed the top of my head. “you were always a hand-standing kiddo. we knew you had it in you.”
once again, i giggled at this. both my brothers knew how to put a smile on my face, always, and all the time.
when i ran back downstairs and i found percy getting out all the presents for me, i eagerly told him.
“yeahh, way to go, kid! i knew you could do it!” percy bent down to me slightly and showed his hand so i could give him a high five.
he then followed it up with another playful head rub and a bit of a side squeeze.
“can you do a handstand?” i asked.
“ha,” he scoffed, “i can try, but i can’t say i’m any good.”
“but you’re a gym teacher,” i laughed.
“yeah, a gym teacher who can’t do a freaking handstand.” he was laughing at his own self-deprecation. “anyway, i’ve got presents out for you, why don’t you start with the smallest one and make your way up to the biggest?”
all the kids had run back in afterwards, sitting down right beside me and watching eagerly as i opened up each individually-wrapped gift.
i couldn’t wait to play with all of them, but i knew that it had to wait until the next day, since it was getting late.
all the parents had arrived to pick up my friends, and so i waved and said goodbye to them.
i was greeted with a chorus of “bye allie! happy birthday!”
you had to admit, as chaotic as little kids were, they were obedient when prompted.
i watched as henry and percy gave each other a high five, both breathing a sigh of relief. “we did it.”
“phew!”
“glad we got that out of the way.”
“birthday party, done and done.”
i quickly ran up to them, taking each of their hands in one of mine. “i wanna play allie ball. can we? please?”
i knew that it was a game that they made up where they took turns throwing me to each other and catching me, as if i was some giant football. it was meant to be played outside, but it was fun for me as i got thrown around like a sack of potatoes.
“allie, it’s getting late…”
“aw, c’mon lad, it’s her birthday…”
“alright, fine, grab your jacket though, it’s freezing out and i don’t want you catching a cold on your birthday. you hear?” henry waggled a finger in my direction.
i giggled, “i hear.”
“good girl.” he smiled down at me.
so we went outside, and henry was first to throw me to percy. then right after percy caught me, after putting up with my deafening squeals and shrieks of delight, he’d throw me back to henry.
“this is the best birthday ever!” i screamed in the air, which earned a laugh from both my brothers.
then it was percy’s turn to throw me. this particular throw, though, he’d thrown me a bit higher than he normally threw, and a bit higher than i was used to.
“percy, wait, no, i’m too high! that’s too high!” i shrieked as i flailed myself in the air, right before landing into henry’s arms.
“woah, you alright there sun?”
i was shaking and trembling with pure fright. that was a bit too high up for my comfort zone.
“that was a a bit silly of him, wasn’t it? shame on him, he should know better,” henry chuckled slightly, scratching the top of my head a bit.
i started to sniffle a bit, “that.. he threw me.. it was too… high… up…” i was flat out sobbing now. i was still a bit fearful of heights. i clutched onto henry with all my might.
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” percy came running over frantically. “you okay sis?” i felt his hand run along the back of my head, on top of henry’s. “aw, i’m sorry. i’m… i’m sorry… here, want me to hold you?”
i shook my head, holding onto henry for dear life.
i didn’t like that game anymore. i really didn’t.
“way to go, way to screw up this time, yeah?” i heard henry mumble to percy.
“hey, i said i was sorry, okay? geezusss!”
i quickly took a glance at percy, and from what i could see through my blurry, tear-stained vision, he had the utmost hurt look on his face, his eyes never leaving mine.
“i’m sorry,” he kept mouthing, hoping to catch my attention.
every time i trembled slightly, i felt henry’s hand run along my back.
“great, now allie’s gonna have nightmares all night, thanks to you.”
“i’ll… i’ll try not to…” now i was starting to feel bad for percy. i know henry liked to pick on him, that’s just what brothers did, but still… i felt sorry for percy.
so i tugged on henry’s shirt.
“i want percy to hold me now.”
henry looked down at me a bit confusedly.
“oh, really?”
i nodded.
he chuckled, “alright, off ya go.”
i felt myself being passed off to percy, who held me a bit tighter than henry, making me cough a bit.
“hi, you,” he smiled down at me as he ran a hand along the back of my head, carrying me with his other arm.
“i’m sorry i cried,” i whispered to him, leaning my head against his chest. “i was just scared.”
“i know you were. and i’m sorry i threw you so high. i didn’t mean to, honest to god.”
i was beginning to get tired at that point. it was getting late, after all.
so when we got inside, percy let me down on the floor as i took off my jacket and hung it up, right before running upstairs to my bedroom on the third floor.
“wait, allie, don’t you want us to tuck you in?” percy shouted up to me, him and henry following me up.
they found me already tucked into bed, clutching one of my stuffed animals that i’d received for my birthday.
i shook my head, smiling. “i wanna tuck in myself now. i wanna be a big girl now.”
they both had fond, sweet smiles instantly plastered on their faces as soon as i said that.
“aw, alls, you’ll always be our baby sis.”
“yeah, you’re not ready to grow up yet.”
“well, we don’t really want you to grow up.”
“don’t rush it kid. not yet, anyway.”
“you have all the time in the world to grow up, you can start whenever you want.”
“but just not now.” i felt someone rub the back of my head. “alright?”
i nodded slowly, yawning.
“i hear ya,” henry chuckled. “sweet dreams, birthday girl.”
“yeah, sweet dreams. we love you.” i felt my hand being squeezed, once by henry, and once (a bit longer) by percy.
i knew i was in the safest of hands when they babysat me for the night.
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