#tw use of nword

[that-guy-sleepy-miles]

Thinking about how one time a transmed reblogged my art of my character.

I corrected them on the pronouns and the gender of my character and this dumb nigga said "do you know who you're talking to?"

BROSKI, DO YOU?! YOU REBLOGGED MY SHIT, DON'T GET PRESSED WHEN I EXPLAIN SOME SHIT.

[era4o4]

TW: Russian Propaganda & Racism

Would like to state that I do NOT support DaFuqBooms recent controversial actions. I discovered a while back that DFB made a deleted video encouraging the Russian Propaganda message of "We're de-n*zi-ifying Ukraine!". As someone who is partially Ukranian and has family who was badly affected by the war, this really made me feel disheartened and annoyed, but I decided to just try and forget about it.

But now, more has came to light. A post by a great person in the ST Artist Community was made recently about how DFB has said the N-Word multiple times under the excuse of "I got the nword pass!" Which is NOT a valid or verifyable excuse. I am making this post to say that I DO NOT support what he thinks. I just like the series he's made. I will also be choosing not to associate the "Secret Agent" character that's been popping up in the series with DFB as there's a difference between a character / sona vs the real person. Look at ERA for example, he's a little guy that's COMPLETELY seperate from me.

I don't think this will stop the series though. DFB is still getting loads of views and if socialblade is correct, he was sometimes earning up to 200k a month, so he would DEFINITELY not give up a job that pays so well.

I will still continue to post ST content. Posts have been more slow lately as I'm using all my art time to work on one really big artpiece.

[awetistic-things]

🧋 a vent ab my parent <3

cw^^ anxiety attacks mentioned, verbal abuse, self harm mentioned, caps

|🍄| keep yourself safe and don’t read this if you know it will trigger! Ava has some cool non trauma dump posts that you can look at instead! |🍄|

she calls me names all the time. like all of the time. it’s not just annoying, it hurts. like a lot. she calls me things like a*hole and weirdo, jokingly. I always laugh though as a coping mechanism (no clue why??). me and my brother called her Karen when that was trending and she can’t get over it. telling her to get over it is not an option. last time I told her how I felt she got super angry and said “you have no right to tell me what to do” or something like that. I actually didn’t even tell her what to do, I asked a rhetorical question which effectively acts as a statement. anyways, it triggered an anxiety attack or something (?) idk. I didn’t have trouble breathing I was just very emotional and scared to the point where I was going to call the police because I thought she was going to hurt me (physically or verbally) and I wasn’t sure anybody in my house would help me or would be able to. she’s remarked multiple times that she could “really be crazy”. I locked myself in the bathroom for safety. I turned the light off to prolong her not knowing I was in there. I actually hid in the bathtub where you wouldn’t be able to tell if I was in there so if she unlocked the door from the outside she wouldn’t find me immediately. since we’re already here talking about things she’s done she’s also called me &my brother racial insults. whenever she’s mad she calls us the nword and it feels racially motivated. my siblings and I are all half black. she’s also technically half black but nobody would perceive her as such. she has white skin, we do not. that same day I got super scared and stuff my mom requested something from my brother. he said no because he has the right to do whatever he wants including say no. she got mad and somehow (most things are foggy from that night) we ended up driving to McDonalds to grab some food. she was speeding which also triggered me because I’ve been in a car accident before and even though it wasn’t a total wreck, it was still traumatic. speeding and slamming breaks is very triggering for me. my school bus driver recently slammed on brakes for no reason. she was trying to make a point that we should wear seatbelts, which, point taken but that triggered me so bad. I know it’s not really her problem but I was holding back tears. anyways sry for tangent back to the story. so we were on our way to McDonalds and she’s speeding. as she’s speeding she’s going on and on about how my brother is an nword hard r for saying no to her after “aLl ShEs DoNe FoR hIm”. she’s done nothing but abuse him and I only have sympathy for him. she does this all the time. you say no and she gets so mad. she’s diagnosed with bipolar something but I’m not sure exactly what. I don’t talk about it because I’m afraid of her reaction. I’m scared that I will literally die. my siblings are moving out. as selfish as this is, I won’t have anymore protection. I’ll be her therapist and her outlet for anger, frustration, everything. my other parent isn’t even an option for me. I would rather be homeless than live with him. Surprisingly, I don’t self harm. that actually makes me feel very invalid but I’m pretty sure daily verbal abuse is sufficient trauma. (any trauma is “sufficient“!)

anyway that is a LONG ask. side note completely unrealted: my crushes name is ayva but I’m not gonna ask her out like ever bc she hates me for some reason (probably the autism!!) and is a suspected homophobe. but anytime I go back to your carrd to check your ask rules and stuff bc I always forget and/or wanna double check I think of her 💕. also if you want to hear more about my family issues or my crush (pls ask me to talk about her pls) or something I’ll do it ig?

if you actually sat here and read this whole thing ily forever and ever and ever! 🫂💏 /p

[tw: check ask]

[zalrb]

hey zal. this is gonna be a different kinda ask from what you are used to, and if you aren’t comfortable answering it, don’t even worry about it, i understand!

tw // racism

so, basically, why is it that whenever i confront someone i know (nonblack) about saying the n-word, it’s like what i’m saying isn’t getting through to them? these people will be posting about Black Lives Matter, and how black feelings matter, but then will just.. not listen to black people themselves literally telling them to stop saying the nword. i don’t really know what I’m asking here, honestly, I’m just unsure if I want to keep people like this in my life. They’re just so unwilling to listen, and yet they always “swear” they’re not racist. Like c’mon.

I’m going to assume you’re young, I’m only going to assume you’re young because I remember when I was younger and I thought it was worth it to try and educate my non-Black “friends” on anti-Black racism when all that really happened was we got into arguments, I felt emotionally exhausted and extremely angry, I subconsciously and then consciously realized that I couldn’t tell them things and talk about things that were important and integral to my life because they just wouldn’t get it and I didn’t want to debate my existence with them constantly and then I got older and I just stopped d having those people in my life because it wasn’t worth it for me, the emotional and psychological labour, the anger? I don’t care to know why it’s not getting through to them because I already know, it’s racism, they’re racist and I don’t try to befriend racist people, I already have to deal with racism daily in other aspects of my life, my friendships are supposed to be safe havens. So I’m not going to tell you what to do or what you should do because that’s really your business, but for me, my priorities for friendship have changed since I was younger and that includes me not associating with people where I’d have to do what you’re doing.

[pikaflute]

Being wrong is hard work. We as people like to be right and correct all the time. Being wrong feels....well wrong. You feel ashamed for your mistakes and like total shit when you’re wrong. We strive to always be correct and right all the time, but you’re never going to be right all the time. Hell, even as I’m typing this I know I’ve been wrong and time to time I fuck up. 

But see, I and many other people change frequently. I am not the same person i was when I started this blog back in 2014. I’m much more aware of the consequences of my actions as I’ve grown up and matured and am more aware of fuck ups I make. Changing and growing up is hard, and many people are stubborn and don’t want to do it. Taking accountability has to put them in this awkward confrontational spot that makes them actually take responsibility and they don’t want to do it.

With that in mind, I’m here to say shut the fuck up. So what? You’re wrong. Admit that you fucked up. Apologize. Take responsibility for what you did an become a better person.

The elephant in the room is obviously Gaud. This is not their first time up to the tumblr discourse bat, and while, yes, sending death threats is a little extreme, fans of Gaud seem to think that’s all that is happening. But it’s not. People just want accountability. They want Gaud to just apologize cleanly for lesbophobia and saying the nword while Gaud is not black.

But Gaud either refuses to apologize cleanly or just, dismisses all criticism as angry trolls who are TERFs (their fans did this more than Gaud themself did) or not really black ("Due to the details of call out culture, it’s difficult for me to ascertain if any of the criticism I’ve begun receiving is from actual black voices, or if (as I suspect) it is almost entirely from the group of trolls who have been targeting my blog over the last few months, and appropriating minority voices as an excuse. I am very ready to listen to feedback and criticism about the post in question, but from black voices specifically. If I was disrespectful, I want to fix that. But I’m damn tired of trolls speaking for (and erasing) minority voices as an excuse to harass people online.“).

The first apology regarding the lesbophobia was okay in theory. However, their tags say and I quote “#the only purpose of these dumbass shitposts is to make people laugh #while also feeling the need to check under the bed for monsters” which seems a little disingenuous, as if to say “i don’t know why everyone is so mad, these were just jokes”

No you may be wondering why I said in theory this apology was good. Well this reply popped up calling angry and upset lesbians abusive shitheads and Gaud basically agreeing with what they said. Yeah real fucking sorry huh. Not to mention basically pubically posting the urls of angry lesbians who were rightly felt mad at their lesbophobia as “hatemail”.

Their second more recent apology was even worse. If we’re not counting how they basically don’t believe many people criticizing them were not black they don’t even apologize for using it. They say “I chose not to censor the word when copying the quote b/c Sam purposely uses it as a powerful final note to her speech, and at the time I was concerned that censoring it would be dishonest, and catering to white discomfort.” This is excusing it, it’s not even an apology. They even start the post with “ I’ve been accused of using the N word.“ as if they don’t even know what the problem is. And they use it again in that “apology post! They basically learnt nothing!

This is also not addressing the female socialization comment they made which is transmisogynistic. Specifically in the tags of this post (now deleted) said “ #i’m nonbinary but i’ve been socialized and perceived female my whole life which means there is a huge overlap bt the female experience and my experiences.” Whether Gaud meant to or not, this in itself is transmisogynistic, as TERFs use it to say trans women are not real women since they have been “male socialized” instead of female socialized. I am not a trans woman myself, so my knowledge is pretty limited, however the callout I have linked in the bottom of this post does go into it in more detail in the transmisogynist section

So why did they delete the tags? Well, they made this post after deleting said tags. You may notice that isn’t apology, this is an attempt to garner sympathy.  And before you say it, yes Gaud made an apology in the replies of the original post they made. But why only in the replies? Just posting a really shitty post that is like “well these meanies don’t like me because I can’t apologize correct!” just makes people like you even less.

Finally, in this post they admit they cannot take criticism. But this reply sucks. They say they’ve never learned how to process criticism from their parents/adults (ignoring the fact that responding to criticism depends on you specifically and also they literally just shifted the blame of them no being able to do as their parent’s fault what???). They also say they can’t reply correctly to criticism because of “angry scrutiny & criticism from anonymous internet users who may or may not already have decided I’m irredeemably”. Which is like...huh? You can’t reply to criticism because people don’t like you for the thing that they’re criticizing you for? What are they supposed to do then? Gaud also employed self-deprecation “Or I’m a shitty garbage person who should delete their blog." and specific tags such as “im sorry for bumming ya’ll out” which is more of a cry for sympathy than an actual apology.

In conclusion, Gaud needs to learn how to apologize and handle criticism. They need to realize that people who is criticizing them is not a hater out to get them, and have valid critiques. Sometimes people are going to be angry, but you can’t dismiss someone because they’re angry at you. As someone who is autistic as well, I understand that communication can be difficult but you need to take responsibility regardless. As I said earlier, just admit that you fucked up. These wishy washy and sympathy grabbing replies aren’t going to cut it.

Not everyone is going to like you Gaud. Not everyone is going to forgive you. And that’s okay! I think personally if you apologized without trying to make yourself seem like the person who’s been wronged more people would see that as a step in the right direction. It’s just so far, every attempt Gaud has made has not done that as I’ve explained.

And to Gaud’s fans, wanting Gaud to properly apologize is not callout culture. It’s wanting an adult to take responsibility for their actions.

Here’s a more in depth callout post for gaud to read at your leisure as well. TW: for rape, pedophilia, antisemitism, incest, anti black racism and lesbophobia.