#twitter is a shitshow I avoid

[shit-posting-into-the-void]

I am a modern day Tantalus. Every day the Threads branch from the Instagram tree tempts me with sweet fruits. Every day I cannot help it but try and pluck a fruit. Yet the posts are ever out of my grasp, as I refuse to download Threads.

Tomorrow I will see the first half of a very funny post and click it again to no avail.

I'll never know what that image shows, what the prose conveys.

Yet I will click anyways

[authoralexharvey]

Writing community drama sure is something else tbh

[i-love-discourse]

"I have a record of consistency"

yeah you have a record of consistently being shameless trash. You're a clickbait slinger. The guardian investigated you for harassing, intimidating behavior multiple times and you clearly did not take anything seriously despite seeing your employers changing policy and whatever because your behavior was incredibly unprofessional. they just don't care to actually take what Jones does seriously because him being an idealogue drives traffic to their site.

Jones makes a video year after year say the exact same shit, never copping up to the mistakes he's made that are embarrassing and then telling his audience of stooges that he's just being unfairly targeted by ridiculous people as if he has not been the ridiculous person targeting women and ignoring their mistreatment while he smears them as "anti-trans activists" because they want to retain sex based rights.

he's boring, his constant inappropriate sexual commentary on work Twitter is just uncomfortable to be audience to and I started ignoring him because it's just not fun to focus on stuff that pisses you off.

people tore him to shreds for being weird about women and deciding on a whim that he "wanted to be a dad" regardless of how misogynistic and shitty his behavior is because if there's so many misogynistic men who are fathers out there why shouldn't he be one too? It's so fucking bizarre. this is the same man who within like the last two years said that he's not pregnant for lack of trying. I cannot imagine what kind of lesbians would think that this guy's history of being extremely selfish, embarrassing and misogynistic is what they want to involve in a child's life. Jones has no plans on doing anything other than trying to avoid accountability and if he involves a child and lesbians in this, It's going to be an absolute fucking shitshow.

[motorclit]

Ok everybody... I don't get on here much not because I'm trying to avoid this site, but the fact that I'm exhausted for a lot of reasons, including trying to keep up with events on various apps (deleted Pinterest since I don't use it and they're becoming sketchy, also deleted Twitter not only cuz I've been meaning to but it got hacked last night and I didn't realize so I've deactivated it... got too freaked out about it). I wanted to bring everyone's attention to the fact that the cheetoh is a Russian asset.

This video does not go into detail about it necessarily. However, I encourage you to chase this white rabbit down that hole by looking up how allegedly his KGB handlers have codenamed him "Krasnov." This has been brought up in rather old media articles before that are apparently being scrubbed from the internet (try the Internet Archive maybe for some of them?)

I also hope everybody reading this spreads the word. I don't care if you reblog this post. It's the video and this basic info here that I'm asking everyone to learn more about, to talk more about.

I'm pretty scatterbrained and shit at the moment, or else I'd do the heavy digging for everyone and provide links and shit, but most of this that I've been hearing being mentioned are comment threads on various Reddit threads as well as comment sections of various social media platforms. But they're simply mentioned and not widely talked about.

I want people, at least here on tumblr since this is still a blogging site and you can make a post as informative as you want with all the sources linked and such, to open a discussion on this topic, please.

Again, you don't have to reblog this or give me notes. I don't care about that. I care about getting this topic into the conversations of everyone when it comes to the shitshow we're watching unfold.

Thank you for reading this.

[matan4il]

omg, you’re a mileapo stan, hi!!! i had to leave twitter i used mainly for ma bc of the sheer number of insane bloodthirsty shit that started flooding out from ppl i followed on there who i thought were normal??? i’ve been seeing the dehumanization of Israelis and the antisemitism over time but i gullibly thought that was due to the shitshow twitter is right now, but holy fuck, the response to the terrorist attack has been so fucking shocking. I can’t stop thinking about how these people who love to virtue signal their progressive stance would turn is in to the nazis for internet points. what the fuck

Hi Nonnie! *hugs*

Yes, I am! :D I hope you enjoy my silly Mileapo posts, they do make me smile a bit even during these dark days, because they represent this deep, beautiful love to me, and we can't give up on that, especially now, can we?

I feel you so much. I avoided Twitter for months, even before this massacre, because I just couldn't handle looking at the antisemitism I'd seen there before. It says something about how much I love Mileapo that eventually I did venture there. But right now? Every social media site has some good people, and each one has vile, inhumane justification for the murder and abuse of innocent people. I just saw someone whose url on Tumblr is the name of a Jewish character, siding with Hamas. The same Hamas that has called for a day of rage today, calling upon Arabs everywhere to kill Jews. I mean... at least have the decency to not use a Jewish character in your url if you're totally cool with real Jews being raped, mutilated and killed just for being Jewish.

I hope you unfollowed/blocked every single person who is justifying the beheading of kids and burning of babies alive. If you can, speak up, but I know that can be too much sometimes. So also take care of yourself! You matter!

I wish I had more encouraging words. The fact that the supposedly liberal crowd, the people who are meant to uphold humanist values and the rights of marginalized groups, are excluding Jews from the right to a humane fate (and ignoring a lot of Jewish history and the persecution of Jews to do so), it's hard to process. What they're doing is unconscionable. All we can do is speak up where we can, remind people that we ARE human beings deserving of basic human decency, get through this, and then have a long memory, make sure that even when the attacks on Israelis are stopped, that we don't forget this and we don't stop calling out antisemitism in ALL of its forms, whenever it comes from ANY camp.

Sending you lots of hugs and love! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here. And if you're in need of a Mileapo smile, click here)

[dellovestorant]

hey del. just wanna know ur opinion about both the tiktoker drama abt Jo (what u think of her tbh, bec I trust ur honesty but I uses to like her and now idk)

and i just wanna ask what ur opinion on the whole george max thing is??? and how's it on twitter.shit.com. (I'm too scared to go there + my mental health just can't qhjwjw)

Awwww anon glad you trust me to rant about this stuff and also twitter is an absolute shitshow at the moment lol so much double standards up and down the tl and the name calling is back

Ok this is gonna be a long one I'm putting a cut. If you guys want to see the answer you're reading this of your own free will do not come at me 🫶. Warning it's not a pretty one.

I followed Jo since before she started her slay and pray series and damn did I love her then. Her content was just so refreshing. No her voice grinds my gears and I roll my eyes when shit about her comes on my tl. I'm inclined to believe that she did call people in the motorsport community cunts because her private stories were so complainy when she used to post on them and oh boy did she complain. Never takes accountability either. On twt of tiktok. It's always "omg haha it was just a joke guys" or "omg I didn't know" even after people told her something and then just deleted the tweet. Also her claiming content from other creators on tt? Yeah I also believe that because she claimed when she first got on twt that she turned all the George fans into George fans and that she created the name grussell sprouts. Which she did neither.

Now George and Max? This entire situation could've been avoided if they talked it out privately and Max didn't go on a tirade in the press conference. Was he asked about it directly? Yes but his answer could've been something entirely different.

I think George also expected to sort this out quietly because this was part of his response today.

Now Max is entitled to whatever opinion he wants everyone is entitled to that but calling George a two faced bitch or something along those lines just shows me he was not ready for George to actually fight against him lol.

Oh and Max's statements are starting to sound a lot like Valentino Rossi's words in 2015 (and beyond) but one thing George is not gonna do? Stay silent. He's gonna do the opposite of Marc and actually be confrontational.

Mercedes PR generally won't let this get too back and forth unless the integrity and character attacks keep happening then it's free rein for all.

These two in a championship fight is gonna give us all the chaos and drama we deserve frankly.

Oh and true F1 is back and Toto has grown a backbone again

[messengerhermes]

Look, I've spent my entire adult life advocating for voting as harm reduction, that candidates will never be perfect and most democrats are really just centrists who we have to scream at to get them to do damn near anything, but that's still preferable to the outright violence of the republican party. I get the point of voting as not the only step but the first step. But. But. But is in the middle of a genocide really the time to be hollering in people's faces about how they cannot vote third party in this coming presidential election? About how they *have* to vote for Biden, because at least he's not Trump? There is a time and place for the discussion about avoiding putting a dictator in the Whitehouse when we have a broken two party system where the electoral college does not adequately represent the will of the people. I would politely argue that time and place is *not* in the middle of the sitting president endlessly doubling down on supporting an active genocide. People have the right to be furious with the democratic party. People have the right to not trust the democratic party, or agree about them being "the better of two evils." The Clinton administration escalated the War on Drugs, gave us the deeply anti-Black "super predator" concept, and are the origins of today's ICE and the deterrence strategy that has led thousands of migrants to die in the desert. The Obama administration broke records when it came to drone strikes over Syria and when it came to deportations. Continuously using the threat of the Republican party as a stick to pressure folks into voting Democrat grows less and less effective every time the Democratic party makes concessions that move it farther center. Which they have been doing since the Reagan administration as a strategy to capture centrists and maintain power. The Biden administration has done good on a number of policy fronts. But it's also caved to pressure to end the public health emergency, ended eviction moratoriums and been slow on a number of fronts to address people's rising unrest at the soaring costs of inflation. Our current Congress has been a shitshow rife with in-fighting that has stalled out key policies, and yes, has seen Democrats make concessions to Republican extremists in ways that weaken bills that could have gone farther in providing relief and boosting our failing infrastructure. Then we hit October, and the US federal government throws its weight behind a genocide, ignoring the swelling outcry and condemnation from its citizens. The US government is continuing to fund Israel's genocide of Palestine and federal staffers are having to walk out on the goddamn job to get their bosses to acknowledge the calls coming through. Biden has been caught multiple times spreading misinformation regarding the genocide in Palestine. Representative Rashida Tlaib, the one Palestinian American in Congress, has been censured for daring to speak up on behalf of her constituents and condemn this violence. Funders of the democratic party are angling to force out Progressive members of the party like Rashida Tlaib, Cori Bush, Ilhan Omar, and others in the upcoming elections. Hollering at people to "Vote Blue no matter who" right now is profoundly callous and ill timed. It is also a remarkably ineffective strategy to try and ensure we don't have a red wave in the coming election. This is not a matter of "holding your nose and voting" this time. There is a 12,000 person body count in the last month. Americans are watching live on Twitter as Palestinians are slaughtered with our tax dollars. We are witnessing a Democratically controlled government still choose to fund imperialism over feeding, clothing, and housing its citizens. I beg you to consider how callous you sound throwing a fit about folks who no longer see supporting the democratic party as a valid strategy to fight Republican conservatism as we witness three genocides at once.

[bloodlicking]

speaking of twitter shenanigans, i remember early in the pandemic when some 14 or 15 year old claimed to have swallowed a razor blade. the fallout from that was insane, someone managed to either dox the girl or figure out from her account where she lived, then people started calling the local police to do a welfare check. no one could stfu about it and even edtwt was catching shit from it bc a bunch of locals noticed what was going on and was exposing both the cutters and the ed girlies to people who weren't supposed to even know we existed. lots of people had to remake to avoid their irls discovering their accounts. total shitshow, the razor blade girl's mom even got in on it as well, she started tweeting from the girls account iirc. i have no idea if she even swallowed the razor in the first place, i think the general consensus from the saner people in the community was that she lied and got more backlash than she thought she would

[anewbeginningagain]

Maybe I'm just too old or don't really follow FS on Twitter much, but I have been a V/M fan since they were pre-novice and I have never heard of the second psycho "fan" that you mentioned in your post. (I do know the "sekret babies" blog -- I think everyone knows about that.) I feel grateful that I grew up in an FS fanverse that only really included FSU (which has a myriad of its own problems, but was fairly innocent back when it first started in the late 90s) and the now-defunct FSW (which became a bit of a shitshow pretty fast). There were also some newsgroups (even before my time, LOL) and mailing lists that were a little unhinged, but fairly easy to know which posters to avoid. Some of the fans today seem flat-out crazy even compared to the craziest of the old-timers. Even in the heyday of skating when the stars of the sport were known by everyone (not just FS fans), I can't think of an equivalent to the crazy Hanyu fans, for example.

Obviously, a lot of this is not only part of fs fandom, I think fanyus and swifties have a lot (A LOT) in common for example.

I'm glad you seem to have managed to avoid a lot of the mess and negativity, I think you are the anomaly and not the norm but the fact that it's possible is good news on its own :)

[artisticcrybabyqwq]

Talking About Some Bullshit:

[Content Warning/Trigger Warning: Slight mentions of racism, proshipping, and kink. I didn't participate in any of this, but it is still relevant to this post.]

Some of y'all might recognize the account Gloopy_Teaz, as well as the blog Spicy_Teaz. These are both my old blogs from when I was twelve to thirteen years-old. I tried to at my old account, but it was probably taken down, or something, which is a good thing.

To start off, I used to conflate terms like "DDLB", "MDLB", "DDLG", and "ABDL" with terms like "Agere", and "Cglre". The first four are kink terms; I am not one to kink shame, as you may already know. However, minors should not be participate in these kinks, because that is incredibly dangerous. An anon on my old blog sent me an ask, stating that I shouldn't be participating in kink. Although I never participated in kink, and was just misusing kink terms, I'm still glad that they sent me that. They did the right thing.

Age regression (agere) is completely SFW, and involves a person mentally regressing into the headspace of someone younger than their physical age. Caregiver-Little-Regression (Cglre) refers to someone taking care of another person because that person has regressed. When I said in my bio, on that old account, that I used "ageplay" to cope, I was actually referring to fictional depictions of my characters age regressing, and being taken care of by their caregivers. This is why you shouldn't use terms you don't fully understand.

On this same blog, I would address controversies taking place in the art community. I haven't always been entirely wrong, but I have gotten plenty of information wrong about different situations.

The Maltose Cat situation is one of these situations. I used to be on the side of the accusers, because I wasn't doing my due diligence before spewing out whatever bullshit people were spreading about Maltose Cat. They made a video that had a link to a document, in the description, which disproved most, if not all, of the accusations. Please check it out, if you have the time. So, to Maltose Cat, I am deeply sorry for spreading misinformation about you, even though it was unintentional.

I have also unintentionally spread misinformation about someone who I believe went by the name Mari Akutsu, before they deleted (or privated) their YouTube channel. From what I remember (please take this with a huge grain of salt), they were being accused of making nsfw of the minor characters from the animated series "Glitch Techs" on Netflix. They were also being accused of writing a 500-page document on a minor. I can't verify or debunk the second accusation, but the first was false. I would reccomend watching Just A Robot's video on the situation. If I had done my due diligence and properly researched the situation before taking any sides, I would realize that this situation wasn't what it was being portrayed as. So, to Mari Akutsu, I am deeply sorry for spreading this misinformation about you. I can imagine that it must've been devastating to see so, so many people turning against you, over stupid bullshit like this. I regret ever contributing to that shitshow that absolutely could've been avoided if people like myself had just done the goddamn research necessary.

Now, this isn't necessarily related to my old Tumblr blog Gloopy_Teaz, but I thought I would address it, anyway. On my old Twitter account (which I will never use again, but I've chosen to stay off of Twitter), I saw a tweet someone posted, alleging that the artist Puppychan was fetishizing queer people (I think they were referring to queer women, in particular, but I can't verify that because I don't have any screenshots). I was a fan of Puppychan, at the time, and I made the stupid, ridiculous decision to basically accuse this random Twitter user of spreading misinformation about Puppychan, and misinterpreting the artist's artwork. On top of that, I was essentially accusing this Twitter user of infantilizing queer people by "implying that queer people can never be sexual or that fictional queer characters can never be portrayed doing sexual things". In retrospect, calling this an overreaction would be a massive understatement. I was being a dick to a random ass person on the internet over stupid bullshit, instead of just investigating the claim they were making. I already apologized for this on my old Twitter account, but I wanted to apologize for it, here:

To that Twitter user, I am sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out at you over an understandable concern. That was incredibly immature and unwarranted. I would state your username if I remembered what it was, but I don't have any screenshots, so I'm not sure what your username is. If you do see this, though, I am very sorry; I genuinely hope that I didn't cause you any severe distress. You don't deserve that.

Now, about my old Spicy_Teaz blog... I used to do a lot of oc redesigns; that, in of itself, isn't inherently wrong. However, many of the ocs I would redesign were owned by other people, and I would redesign their ocs without permission. I wasn't doing it to be intentionally malicious, mind you; I wasn't trying to bully anyone. I genuinely thought that I was giving these random children on the internet good criticism. But I really wasn't. What I was doing was just plain disrespectful; it's something I deeply regret. I should've asked for permission to do so, at the very least.

After some reflection, later on in my life, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't even doing this because I actually enjoyed it. I was doing it because I was upset; I was doing it because I thought I was correcting some wrong. I did it because I thought I was salvaging characters that didn't need to be salvaged. I had redesigned characters made by artists like Kittydog, because I didn't like the artists, themselves.

It is important to note that, at the time of writing this, I'm actually a big fan of Kittydog. I find their art inspiring, their animations fun to watch, and their music relatable and lovely. I used to hate them because they were once a proshipper, but they have changed for the better (check their community tab, on their main channel). They, as well as many other people, have inspired me to branch out in regards to my art and stories.

I now have a new project: I plan on redesigning all of the "oc redesigns" I made of other people's characters (except for that one character that was a redesign of a racist caricature in an old cartoon). I want to bring real passion to these characters, and I want to make them completely different from their origins. I will no longer be doing redesigns of other people's characters; only redesigns of my own characters, as well as redesigns of the old redesigns I made.

(Sorry if that was a huge mouthful.)

[comfortingevanbuckley]

I’m glad I avoid fandom on Twitter bc apparently it is still a shitshow in other fandoms besides mine.

[princeofyorkshire]

why does it actually look like harry spat on chris pine lmfaoo??? 😭

[amywritesthings]

JUST OLD HABITS.

THE FAMOUS LAST WORDS SERIES.

gif credit @ pedrohub

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Ex!Co-Star Reader ( Dieter x You )

Word Count: 3.1K

Summary: Hollywood knows the famous enemies-to-worse-enemies saga that is you and Dieter Bravo. When you find out he also got pitched a role in Cliff Beasts 6? You’re pissed. Dieter’s just horny.

Warnings: SMUT, Adult language, Ex-flings, Mentions of cheating, Oral (f receiving), Hate sex, Unprotected sex, Dirty talk, Praise kinks, Pet names, Power Bottom!Dieter

A/N: This is literally just bonafide smut one-shot with a pinch of plot. I did not edit, I did not beta, so God help all of us. Who even is this guy again and why are we so thirsty for him?

( Read on AO3 ) 

PREQUEL: SAME OLD MISTAKES, ACT ONE.

PREVIEW:

“We’ve done, what, four movies together? A sequel stack and two standalones?” he begins. “It’s been, like, six fuckin’ years, babe — sorry, shit, ma’am? I don’t know what you want me to call you. Babe’s a habit. But I thought it’d be nice.”

“For you.” You point in a verbal punch. “Because you want to get in my pants again.”

Dieter gives a small shrug of honesty. “We made our best movies that way, didn’t we?”

“Fuck off.”

JUST OLD HABITS.

You thought you were better than this. 

Cliff Beasts? And it’s not even the direct sequel, but six fucking installments in?

Your agent swears all of the big stars are doing this cash grab, it’s already got incredible buzz on Twitter, but to your ears it screams two words and two words only: washed up. 

Congratulations — you are now within the realm of actors that are one step closer to joining Dancing with the Stars, and you have two left feet.

You could believe she’s offering this job to save your feelings: chatter about you being in the next Cliff Beasts is better than the world heavily debating who was in the wrong in your very recent and very public breakup.

The last two weeks have been exhausting. This is just the icing to the cake.

When you ask who else is on the project, the look on your agent’s face tells you everything you need to know. She shifts in her chair with feigned disinterest, listing off names you’ve only heard in passing — oh, that one guy who did the funny SNL skit three years ago — and you wait with shaking fists in your lap for the name you know she’s avoiding.

“Justine, just say it,��� you demand, dead-panned despite the simmering anger in your gut.

Justine pales, making brief eye contact before shuffling back to the papers on her desk.

Dieter.

Dieter Bravo.

Dieter fucking Bravo.

Yeah, that’s why they asked you to be in this project. Not because you’re washed up, but because the public is going to lose their live-blogging minds at the idea that two long-standing enemies will be starring in the same godforsaken shitshow.

It’s the money-making power duo, back in action and suffering for it, and you can already see the online bets debating if Cliff Beasts 6 will even make it to post-production without one of you storming off set.

“And that’s not all,” Justine quips quietly, tapping her pen into the stacked contract.

You leave your budding rage for a split second to tilt your head, eyes rounding.

“That… isn’t it?”

“He, uh…”

Justine’s nose scrunches, apologizing before the words leave her tongue. You stand, leaning forward with palms pressed into the desk.

“He, uh, what, Justine?”

“He left you a fruit basket and his new address, if you wanted to — uh, let me get the card.”

White-hot rage fills your system, bleaching your train of thought.

So he knew. He already knew you were being considered for this cast and figured he would intervene, rubbing salt in the wound. Were you the only one in the dark?

You don’t realize Justine’s left her office until the scent of fresh fruit fills the room, forcing you to glance over your shoulder. Justine stands in the doorway, face completely covered with strawberries and mangos and who-the-fuck-knows on sticks, cinched together in a wicker basket with a lilac bow.

Your favorite color.

You’ll fucking kill him.

At the center of the obnoxious display is a half-folded card with your name on it. You cross the room to pluck it from the basket, hastily flipping it open.

Babe,

Look at us. Back at it again.

If you wanna make new memories with the same old mistakes, check the back of the card.

See u soon. 

- D

Flipping the card over, the heat creeps up the back of your neck when your gaze glides over a hastily written address. 

Yeah, you were considering a rental at the same fucking apartment complex for this shoot. What an unfortunate coincidence.

“How long ago did he send these?” you ask hotly, waving the card in the air.

“This morning,” she responds behind the fruit basket. “Did you… Are you going to go?”

“Of course I’m not fucking going.”

 .

 .

 .

 .

You do.

Oh, you do, only two hours later when Justine’s taking her lunch break to talk to her newest up-and-coming actress freaking out for her audition. 

It’s enough of a distraction to get in your own car, speeding down the highway to follow the address on your GPS. Over and over, his flimsy and all-too-cocky note plays in your head.

The most you’ll do is sock him in the face, then depart to grab a drink alone in your hotel room — just like old times.

Six floors up, you stalk down the hallway and slam a closed fist against the door three times. Shoving the same hand in your coat pocket, the door opens with apprehension a minute later — only to fling wide open when Dieter Bravo stands on the other side, recognizing your face.

“Hooo-ly shit.”

“Don’t,” you warn.

The grin spreads across his lips, fingers flicking down the daytime sunglasses to peer at you.

“Guess you got my congratulatory basket. Was it sweet? It looked sweet.”

“I didn’t eat any of it,” you quip, jutting your chin. “Can I come in for a second? I feel like we should establish a couple of ground rules—”

“Ground rules?” Dieter interrupts, pulling a face while simultaneously standing out of your way. “The fuck do we need ground rules for? Are you that afraid of falling in love with me, babe?”

You step in, boots clicking across the floor and into the threshold of this already lived-in apartment. Clothes are hanging up everywhere. Script pages litter the ground with scribbled notes. A swirling scent of cologne invades your nostrils that smells entirely too much like him.

“Rule number one: don’t 'babe' me.”

“Boring.”

“Rule number two: did you know?”

“Know what?” he asks, gently shutting the door behind you. He shoves his hands into his gray sweatpants pockets, a stark contrast to his neon green Hawaiian shirt.

“That they were asking me to be a part of Cliff Beasts?”

“Hell yeah,” he answers, nearing with a nonchalant shrug. “I asked.”

Your expression drops.

Justine didn’t mention that part, either. Motherfucker.

“You asked?”

“Yeah, said you’d be a perfect fit or what-the-fuck ever. Why talk about you and that sad sack of shit that cheated on you when everyone could be talking about you and me?” 

The involuntary blink of rage passing across your features must have spooked him, because Dieter nears with his hands up like he’s corralling a scared animal.

“Hey — hey, no, I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”

“But it did, Dieter.”

“Let me start over.” 

His hands come to his chest in prayer, head dipping for some humility points. You stand with your arms crossed over your chest, brow quirked and waiting.

“We’ve done, what, four movies together? A sequel stack and two standalones?” he begins, still nearing. “It’s been, like, six fuckin’ years, babe — sorry, shit, ma’am? I don’t know what you want me to call you. Babe’s a habit. But I thought it’d be nice.”

“For you.” You point in a verbal punch. “Because you want to get in my pants again.”

Dieter gives a small shrug of honesty. “We made our best movies that way, didn’t we?”

"Fuck off."

You scoff, rolling your eyes and turning forty-five degrees from him.

“And I’m a great rebound.”

He’s somehow made it from the other end of the living room to right in front of you, hands still pressed together. Dieter ducks his chin further, trying to catch your eye.

“The best fucking rebound and you know it. I didn’t even know the guy, but I knew he was a mega piece of shit. And this coming from King Shit himself. So let me out-shithead him. We’ll make this movie, we’ll make a ton of money, and we’ll…”

He trails off, gaze dropping from yours to stare at your lips.

“...Christ almighty, you’re stunning.”

Although you’re this close to pushing past him to leave, you can’t deny that the attention is flattering. After two agonizing weeks of tag after tag, your name slandered in the social media slug for a decision that wasn’t yours to make…

“Is that a line you’re rehearsing from the script?” you ask instead to save face.

Dieter perks. “I can ask for rewrites if you want it to be.”

“You’re a mess.”

“You can’t be a mess if you send fruit baskets. That’s like the height of having your shit together.”

The snort leaves faster than you can suppress it. Dieter stands taller, eyebrows high to his forehead as he reaches between you, holding your elbows gingerly.

God, history really does repeat itself.

Every time there was a failed romance or a date gone wrong, he was always there. Dieter Bravo, the everlasting playboy, the arm candy in a pinch. Whenever you needed it — needed him — he was always up for it. Granted, you can say Dieter’s always up for anything if his dick has anything to say about it, but there is familiarity here.

And it always starts like this: a fight, a promise to be better, and the soft touch you’re starved for. A quick fix to an ever-present problem.

He knows how to play you like a fucking fiddle.

 “Dee…”

“What?” his voice drops an octave, head tilting to avoid your face entirely as he buries his face into your neck. You suck in a sharp inhale, opting to stare at the ceiling. Dieter nuzzles at your skin with his nose, pressing a light kiss. “Tell me, what is it?”

Despite yourself, you sway and lean into the pre-emptive kisses. Your arms gradually unlock from an iron-clad grip to loosen down your torso. 

“We shouldn’t do this.”

“The movie or the sex, because I agree with one of those responses.”

The laugh bubbling in your throat is genuine, abruptly stopped by the way his teeth nip at your neck. God, he really does know you in the way so many never have.

“You know what I mean.”

“You don’t gotta do anything, babe,” he murmurs, using his hands on your elbows to swivel you towards the couch. “Just let me.”

“That’s never any fun,” you answer, nose scrunching the minute you say it. Dieter stops momentarily to draw back and look at you, really look at you, as his expression darkens to something of desire.

You miss being wanted.

(In a way, you miss him.)

“Yeah?” he breathes for consent, wetting the seam of his lips.

God, you’re going to regret this in twenty minutes. He’s never going to let this go on set.

(Neither will you, because just as it always happens, he’ll be your dirty secret for a six-week shoot.)

“Has old age slowed you down?” you tease, cocking your head.

Dieter takes the playfulness and runs with it, crouching to snatch your thighs under his arms. He hoists you up, navigating the two of you to the couch. With a flop you sit into the cushion, and he crowds your space with teenage eagerness.

“Absolutely fuckin’ not,” he concludes, pawing for the buttons of your jeans. With dexterity he pops one, then the other, and tugs your panties and denim down your legs. You laugh, lifting your hips to aid in his endeavors.

“Jesus Christ, hel-lo. ” Dieter maneuvers his hand under one knee to spread your legs wide for him. He swallows thick, like a dehydrated man in the middle of the desert laser-focused on the only source of water. “Y’know, I really missed her.”

As much as you hate to admit it, you’re already wet. The sight of him alone brings back memories of being bent over vanities in trailers, desperate hands finding purchase against walls, quickies in-between set changes.

Yeah, he is the greatest rebound. He’s unfortunately the man who knows you best.

Sliding from the couch, Dieter is hellbent on keeping eye contact when he kisses the inside of your knee. You suppress a moan, desperate to maintain some upper hand in these stakes. 

Dieter, on the other hand, doesn’t need grace. He’s never needed pride. He wants the right now, the high, and you chase him for it.

He drags his lips along your inner thigh, kissing with intent every time — six, to be precise, for every year you’ve left him high and dry on read.

You hate him. You really hate—

This right here is Dieter Bravo’s favorite thing. The feeling of someone being at his mercy, the taste of them, the way your legs shiver when he finally runs his tongue along your slit — according to him, there is nothing like eating pussy, and there is nothing like you.

Where Dieter is lazy in learning his lines and showing up to set on time, he is not when it comes to where it counts: in the bedroom, in the shower, and evidently on his couch. He locks both arms around your hips to press them down, tentatively swirling his tongue around your clit.

Your hips buck automatically, whimper exiting your throat as your hands thread into his hair. You tug the way he used to like, causing him to moan against your core. The vibrations force your toes to curl, head bent back on his couch as he finds a rhythm to your noises. Encouraged by the enthusiasm, Dieter continues to lick, swirl, flick without an ounce of mercy on his mind.

It’s been ages. Six years too long since he ate you out like this, like he was drowning and thanking you for it.

The other boyfriends you had were timid, reciprocal, but Dieter is game.

There is nowhere else he would rather be.

The minute he closes his lips around your clit to suck, your hips fight against his grip to fly off the couch. He hums in a chuckle, letting go with one arm in order to snake his hand between you. One finger teases at your entrance, barely sliding in, and you feel like your brain has left planet Earth.

“Fuck, Dee, can you— stop teasing.”

He briefly pauses to look up at you, facial hair glistening. “There’s another word you can use, babe.”

“Please?” you grit, teeth clenched as you chase him.

Dieter just grins. “There she is. Good fucking girl.”

You ask, he delivers. He slides a finger in with ease, curling to find that spot in you that will make you sing. He puts his mouth back to good use, relentless against your clit as he adds a second finger to his game. Your limbs shake as the waves climb higher, higher—

You don’t even realize you’re whimpering his name under your breath until your orgasm hits you like a freight train.

Dieter greedily takes anything you can give him, swirling his tongue as he pumps two fingers with precision. You push at his head when it becomes overwhelming. He obliges, but not without staring with a smugness you want to kick clear off his stupid face.

His chin sits on your knee, a smile spreading to grin as you find your breath. “Still got it, huh?”

“Don’t get an ego,” you huff, shaken in your ascent on the couch.

“Too late, babe. That doesn’t go away.”

Your gaze drops to find his hand already fisting his rock-hard cock, sweatpants half-hanging off of his ass to get there. His nostrils flare in the attempt to keep up his nonchalant composure, but you can see the little cracks in his persona. 

He wants this. He might have wanted this more than you.

“How badly do you want me to fuck you?” you ask, and something burns behind his eyes.

He swallows to find his voice, nodding with a belated answer. “You want to—”

“Ride you?” He groans at the bluntness of your interruption. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Fuck, babe. Been so fucking long…”

You slide off of the couch to meet him on the floor. Remaining on your knees, he falls back and hastily removes the sweatpants from his legs. Crawling to him, Dieter continues to lose his cool with every passing second, hand squeezing his cock at attention.

Your knees slide to his hips, straddling him and nudging the tip of him at your center. Dieter’s head falls back, but you catch it with a harsh grip on the hair at the nape of his neck. He stills with a grunt, fully ready to fall apart at your mercy.

“This doesn’t become a habit,” you remind him, teasing the tip of him by gliding him along your wet fold.

Dieter begins to shake his head, but you tug harder — changing the direction to a nod.

“Baby, this — fuck — always becomes a—”

In one delicious descent, you slide onto his length and bottom out, causing him to choke on his words. Your breath hitches, the stretch from him setting your nerves on fire.

You really did need this, after everything.

You really needed him.

Dieter, it appears, needed it by the way he babbles the filthiest things into your shirt as you finally roll your hips and move against him.

“Such a good fucking girl, always a good fucking girl for me, always ride my cock like a fuckin’ champ, no one ever does it like you do it to me, only took the goddamn movie so I could be buried in this pussy every — fuckin’ — day—”

You rise on your knees, riding his cock the way you used to back when you didn’t mind so much when he called you pet names. Back when you’d spend hours like this in his trailer, in his hotel rooms, in the back of a limo at red carpet premieres. 

Back when Hollywood didn’t feed into the narrative that you hated every inch of his guts.

Your former co-star bucks up into you, wrapping arm around your waist to take over the rhythm. You keep one hand on his chest, the other using his shoulder as an anchor as he fucks up with a desperation six years in the making.

All you can do is hold on and accept it, allowing him to stretch you to oblivion as your second orgasm creeps in.

Sliding a hand down his chest, you reach between to furiously rub circles against your clit, moaning into his ear as he growls nonsense of praise into your shirt. As if it’s a movie scene itself, you both fall apart at the same time — he bucks up into you, coming apart as you squeeze around his cock for all he’s worth. 

You cry out his name, earning a broken whimper of your own along his tongue.

Resting your cheek on his head as you come back down from the high, Dieter pants to catch his breath beneath you, peppering small kisses along your clothed chest. 

Neither of you say a word for minutes on end, simply existing in the bubble of what has happened — and what you can’t take back.

Then Dieter speaks up with a hint of euphoric satisfaction, always aiming to ruin the moment.

“Like I said, babe: just old habits.”

[hangon-silvergirl]

The Buzzzzz!!! 🐝 please and thank you 💕

Thanks for the ask!

The next chapter is the last, which is kind of bittersweet!

the buzz chapter 10 - bs to title later

The bulk of it is pretty epilogue-y ngl, but the opening chunk is Eddie's show after Chrissy's; him waxing poetic about her and their date, and getting roasted by his listeners, which will include appearances from the hobby shop boys, and The Shitshow. Interspersed, of course, with Chrissy and Eddie texting. A (brief) snippet: (7:15) Wow! (7:15) I have, just, /so/ many questions! (7:17) and i will avoid answering most of them by any and all possible means (7:17) also, reports of my idiocy are greatly exaggerated (7:19) If I DM Nancy on Twitter, will she tell me everything??? :D (7:21) oh, yes (7:21) and in excruciating detail (7:21) i'm pretty sure she's writing a book (7:21) and plans to sell us to science

[arctichotch]

I'd been avoiding all the derpp trial videos showing up on youtube like the plague, but yesterday a lawyer channel uploaded a video "making sense of the verdict" and out of curiosity I clicked on it.

All the comments are some variation of "so what about perjury/Amber lied about being abused under oath"

Like this whole shitshow of a trial was litigation abuse to drag Amber through the mud and all these sheeple think that because the jury that was obviously influenced by all the smear campaigning and social media frenzy, and let's not forget that abuse in and of itself is damn near impossible to get a conviction for in the first place, decided that a proven abuse victim somehow defamed a rich white man by claiming she suffered abuse. And somehow that verdict is proof that she lied about being abused?

Absolute. Bull. Shit.

yep. also the lawyer youtubers are a thing also to bring up into this constant cycle of misinformation and people feeling like they know the law. these “lawyers” have seen an opportunity for easy clicks and money by being pro-depp and are willing to say anything to ensure a steady stream of income and clout. so they feed into the spot of lawyer that the pro-deppies need on their ‘he’s innocent’ bingo card.

like they throw around the objection hearsay joke as if they know what it means, as if it’s not normal to object to hearsay and as if camille vasquez didn’t do the exact same (i would argue even more) to amber during her cx. and the perjury thing is so stupid because where is solid evidence that she perjured herself? i’m yet to see an example. because there is solid evidence to back up her being abused and her stories have been consistent, so no perjury there.

i think i’ve seen maybe 1 or 2 law youtubers actually give an honest take on the trial. but the rest. such as a certain emily d baker i think that’s her name, have been believed like they speak the gospel (even though she’s very very anti-amber and also has said some gross things about breanna taylor.) and some other twitter lawyer i think? is a raging misogynist. and i’ve seen a lot of people say they only watched the trial through these lawyers on youtube and i immediately think that then they do not know anything because they have never formed their own opinions because they’ve been straight away into the pro depp stuff because these “lawyers” want to make money. while any other lawyers or real lawyers in articles and stuff are discounted because they’re not saying what they wanna hear.

johnny has been found to have abused amber time and time again in the court system (in 2 different countries). even this time they had to have found some truth to her allegations for her to have been defamed by him. they continue to baffle me with their pure stupidity.

this trial should never have been live streamed. the jury should have been sequestered. from the get go this trial was balanced against amber. as it usually is against victims of abuse because those abusers are almost always men and powerful men are always going to be believed before women/“weaker” men.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Considering the backlash on having a (at the time) closed straight passing actor play a queer character Netflix got over heartstopper … I don’t think HBO always going to risk the outrage of having to straight men simulate gay sex .

never in my life have i seen media corporations worry about getting "liberal" themed backlash. the kind of backlash big companies like HBO try to avoid is like, "nobody will watch our show if there are too many people of color" or "people will unsubscribe from our service if we openly support gay representation"

i vaguely heard abt the discourse over the netflix show and i'll admit i don't know a lot about what went down (aside from the actor coming out bc of it, which sucks). but if that drama was mostly on twitter, as i suspect it was, then ironically enough that kind of backlash actually makes more money for netflix. the more people talk about their shows, even if it's criticism, the more money they make. and if the backlash was just angry tweets and maybe formal complaints, i don't see why netflix would even care. unless netflixed suffered financial losses because of the backlash (like people were cancelling their netflix subscriptions because of heartstopper), i don't know that anyone other than the actor were actually negatively impacted by that shitshow

also i haven't seen any "our flag means death should be canceled because rhys darby and taika waititi aren't gay" discourse and like, those two were PLENTY gay in season one even without sex. so idk why people would suddenly care about that now.

i have no idea if there's gonna be a sex scene in season 2 but if we don't get one, i'm more inclined to think it's bc HBO thought they'd lose money for being too gay and alienating their homophobic customers, not because some angry people on twitter would get mad at them for their cast not being gay enough