#two outta two- time to actually do tasks i need to work on hahaha~

[waterfallofspace]

Another one for @onetrickponi's lovely ask

The second idea I had for this request! from ~this list~ In celebration of you starting B/uddy D/addies, here is a little R/ei content! (Featuring K/azuki, he's the other buddy after all!) Bit of a shorter one, so hopefully you can forgive two fics for the one request (and two tags haha sorry <3) There isn't anything spoiler-wise in this, just basic knowledge of the characters, though maybe a touch of implication you'll understand after watching more of it! 1.6k words, prompt #17, story under cut! 17. "What did you do to your nose to piss it off like this?" (References to swearing, and mild violence, in case anyone doesn't like those!)

~~~~~~~

“hahh’gnnt-! eh’knngt-!uhhh” 

“Bless you.”

“hihh- dntsh’uh-! ah’gnxt-!” 

“And again.”

“knndt-ingxt-hh’enDGT’uhh-!”

“Christ, Rei.” 

Kazuki lifts his eyes from the meal he’s preparing to stare at the figure on the couch. Each burst has Rei ducking into his chest, controller never leaving his hands. Despite the onslaught, he’s maintaining a solid lead in the race he’s playing. ‘It would be impressive if it wasn’t so concerning.’ 

“htxxgt-! ingdt’uh-!”

“Are you gonna live?”

“I’m f- huhh’knGDT’guhh-! fine.” 

Rolling his eyes pointedly, Kazuki lets a huff fall from his throat. Rei responds by attempting to rub his nose on his shoulder without looking away from the screen. ‘Honestly a little pathetic… Man, I wish I had my phone on me. This would look great as my new wallpaper.’ 

“Maybe I’d believe you if-”

“hh’dznxt’huhh-!”

“-You could get through the word fine-”

“aH’INdxxt’uhh-!” 

“-without sneezing. Or let me get through it for that matter.”

“That’s not a g- ih’gnxxt’huhh-! good system.”  

“Jeez, you sound awful.”

“Thanks.” 

The silence resumes its place over the room, Kazuki trying to focus on his steak as the strangled noises from Rei carry on. ‘At this rate he’s gonna pass out. I’ve never heard him go at it this much… sure, he has a few allergies, maybe the odd sneeze here or there, but nothing like this…’

Kazuki yelps as the smell of smoke pulls him from his thoughts. He turns the stove off with a hiss, pouring the steak onto a plate. Over on the couch, Rei turns his gaze towards the noise.

“You knxgt’uhh-! burnt it.” 

“Yeah I know! I was a little distracted by your-”

“eh’dngt-! knnxxt’huh-!”

“Exactly. This is your fault, you hear me! You’re eating the burnt one!”

“No I’m not. heh’dnNT’uhh-!”

“You- Fine! But I’m not eating it either!” 

“Okay.” 

“I really hate you sometimes, have I mentioned that?”

“eh’gznGT-! Yes.” 

Rei faces back towards the game, muttering to himself as the character on screen takes a sharp turn. Kazuki feels his eyebrow twitch, his mouth hanging open at the outright disregard for his food.

‘I work all day to make a nice meal, but does he appreciate it? No! No he does not! I’ll give him the burnt one- not like he was gonna compliment my food anyways… but maybe he’ll just not eat it… then it goes to waste… what a-’ 

“------- Kazuki?” 

“Huh?”

Pulling his attention back into the room, Kazuki attempts to decode the nonsense Rei just threw his direction in his mind. ‘Something something my name… Uh… Something about food maybe… Damn I wasn’t listening.’ His hands idly continue plating the food as he tries to recall the words.

“hh’knGT’uh-!”

“Bless you.”

“You didn’t hear me.”

It’s not a question, more of a statement. Feeling a heat rise into his face, Kazuki considers lying to save his pride. ‘As if there’s any left to save anyways…’ Curiosity wins in the end, and he brings a hand to the back of his neck, offering a sheepish smile. 

“No, I didn’t. Can you repeat it?”

“I asked if- hh’enDT-! eh’dxNGT’shoo-! heh’knTISH’iew-!” 

Rei brings a hand to his face as the third one breaks through, both wincing at the loss of control. He pinches his nose, Kazuki flinching again at the harsh nature of the action. With a small shudder, Rei attempts to speak again, keeping his fingers gripping his nose. ‘That’s gotta be painful-’ 

“I asked if the food was ready.” 

“Uh… Y- yeah…”

“Okay.”

Kazuki finds himself setting the table, mind still focused on the way Rei’s nose is shivering behind his hand. ‘He should just let it out… but it’s not really my place to tell him that. I know it’s a ‘thing’ with him.’ Still, as Rei sits down and Kazuki notices the water lingering in his eyes, it’s too much for him to ignore. 

“Why are you doing that?”

“Doihhng what? nnGt-! knxt-!”

“Doing that. Stopping them like that.”

“Oh. Habit, I suppose.”

“It can’t be good for you. It’s giving me a headache, and I’m not even the one sneezing!”

“I’m not- ihh’gnt-! hH’gNxxt-! in pain.”

“Oh really? Because the way you just winced says you’re lying.” 

There’s no answer, but Rei does drop his hand, starting to cut his steak into smaller pieces. ‘Not admittance, but maybe as close as I’m gonna get with him. I’ll accept it.’ Starting to eat his own, Kazuki groans as the burnt taste invades his mouth. Across from him Rei ducks into his shoulder with a smile that gets Kazuki’s blood boiling.

“And what’s so funny?! This is your fault after all. You should be thanking me for giving you the good one! Even though I know you’re not gonna appreciate all the effort that it took.” 

“ih’tischhiew-! heh’kieshh’tiew-!” 

“Bless you.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t think this means we’re through! Just because I still have manners, unlike some people, doesn’t mean I’m forgiving you for ruining my beautiful creation.”

“Okay. hh’keshh’tiew-!”

“I gotta ask… what’s up with that?” 

Rei gives him a measured look, raising his napkin to scrub at his nose. ‘Mental note: wash that one separately.’ Opening his mouth, likely with the intention to reply, Rei suddenly freezes, bringing his wrist up and flinching delicately in it with another round. 

“eh’tishhiew-! heh’kieshh’tiew-! ashhh’iew-!”

“Seriously Rei, what did you do to your nose to piss it off like this?”

“I don’t- ah’tishhiew-! heHh-! ih’keschh’tiew-! know.”

“What?! How do you not know?”

“I haven’t done- huh’teAZSHH’kiew-! Oh-”

“Bless you.”

“-Haven’t done anything different today.” 

As Rei pauses to scrub at his face, with his hands this time, Kazuki feels his mind start to race through the day. ‘I woke up early, Rei was still asleep in the tub. I made breakfast, everything was fine. He woke up, he was fine, we ate. He played games, I did laundry, then he chang-’ A realization dawns in Kazuki’s eyes as they widen and begin to scan Rei. In return he pauses the attack on his sinuses to meet the stare being thrown his way.

“What..?” 

“I uh… I think this might be my fault…” 

“How? hh’keZZShh’tiew-! knnt’shiew-! ihh’nnGT’iew-!”

“Bless you. W- well, I bought this new detergent, it was on sale ‘buy one get two free’, I couldn’t pass up that offer!”

“Okay?”

“And so I used it for the first time today… including when I washed your clothes, like the hoodie you put on about halfway through the day.”

“Oh. hH’DNtzshh’kiew-!”

“Bless you- I’m sorry, if I knew you were so allergic I never would have-”

“I’m not.”

Kazuki feels his eye start to twitch again. He tries to form words, but only succeeds in gaping in Rei’s direction, mouth opening and shutting silently. ‘He’s… is he actually… It wouldn’t be wrong to punch him, would it? Maybe just knock him on the back of the head? He’s a tough assassin, he could take it, right?’ Instead of following through, Kazuki finds himself simply staring at Rei until the other man starts to shift nervously under his gaze.

“You’re making me uncomfortable. eh’kZSHhh’tiew-!”  

“What. The hell. Do you mean. ‘You’re not’.” 

“I’m not allergic.” 

“You’re messing with me, right? Hilarious, Rei.”

“It’s not a joke. I d- heh’knNGt-! don’t have allergies.”

Standing slowly, Kazuki makes his way around the table, a smile void of any emotion starting to form across his face. Rei watches vaguely as he resumes picking at his food, until a slap to the back of his head brings his focus squarely onto Kazuki.

“Ow. What wa-”

“What the shit do you mean you ‘don’t have allergies’? Have you heard yourself? You think this is just how normal people sneeze? It’s not!”

“I’ve never been allergic hH’KEShhh’tiew-! to anything before.” 

“Are- Do you not remember the time we had that job where you had to wait in the garden? By the time we’d got the information we needed you could barely open your eyes they were so swollen.”

A faint blush starts to show across Rei’s face as he attempts to hide behind his hair, bringing his hands up again to scrub at his rapidly pinkening nose. Deciding not to wait for the inevitable denial, Kazuki stands and heads to the kitchen. Rummaging through a drawer he grabs the allergy meds, making another mental note to return the detergent and rewash Rei’s clothes. 

Returning to the table he hands Rei the pills, chuckling at the confused look he’s met with. ‘For a trained assassin who’s practically a master at his craft, man he can be dumb when it comes to… well… anything else.’ He grabs a glass of water, popping out a couple from the blister pack and grabbing Rei’s hand, placing them in it.

“You swallow those.”

“Why?”

“They will help with the allergies that you refuse to acknowledge.”

“I don-”

“Predictable as ever, Rei. I don’t care if you admit it or not, I’m not eager for you to disrupt the rest of the day with that constant-”

“heH’TISHhh’kiew-!”

“Exactly. You also need to change out of that hoodie. You’re literally just soaking in your ‘non allergen’. Though, the sneezes have slowed down a bit. Maybe that’s from not suppressing them into oblivion constantly!”

“Maybe.”

“You sure are a man of few words, aren’t you?” 

Rei simply grunts in response, swallowing the pills with a grimace ‘Such a child-’ before pulling off the hoodie and tossing it on the floor ‘Are you serious?!’ and curling back up on the couch. Kazuki lets out a deep sigh, grabbing the hoodie and throwing it into the laundry room before starting to clean up the plates. 

“hH’kesschh’tiew-!”

“Bless you, Rei.”

“Th- thanks…”

The response shakes Kazuki to his core, a dramatic tear starting to form in his eye. ‘He thanked me… I’m so proud! Still can’t clean up after himself… but I’ll fix that too.’ Casting his gaze back over to Rei, Kazuki allows himself to pause and for a moment, just a moment, feel content.

I’ll fix him. And maybe doing that… maybe that’ll fix me too. 

[syahaz]

Camp TV Short Story - Guyliner Interest I

Notes: This short story has the majority of the Camp TV casts. So if this AU ever gets adapted into a chronological timeline, some of the characters (except Trenton, Heather, Lindsay and Tyler) may be absent due to elimination as the main possible reason. It also has an alternate plot that is very long. I usually don’t address it as the previous one is very short compared to this story you’re about to read. As I stated earlier, since many characters are present, the main event will be dragged for so long to give space for said casts to have their own moment before the actual event starts. 

Cut confessional/scene means confessional or scene that has never been released to the public because of Chris moderation and the editing crew work. Doesn’t mean it is purely protected from possibility of loss and leakage though.

I don’t know if I want to add Cody when writing this as I’m not sure what kind of personality I want to write him with for this AU.

I usually try my best to do less ‘tell’ than ‘show’ but for some very complicated scenes, I just had to do it because I find it puzzling when I read it myself. Sorry for that. Maybe I could try it for shorter fics in the future if applicable.

---

The ending of this first route of this story is rough, at least for me. If you want a more mellow ending, go read the second route of this story. You can skip reading where the altered ending starts (indicated with “///”).

---

It’s a fine lovely morning with the birds chirping and the ocean beating the beach sand. Several campers gathered around Lindsay because she made invitations the day before.

“Okay everyone, gather up! We’re going to do something exciting today!” Lindsay announced. ���Well as you can see, I first thought this show was gonna be a talent contest. So I brought a lot of makeup leftover. You know what that means?” She added, holding a dazzling makeup pouch. “Makeover!” Katie & Sadie excitedly scream. “Yeah… No.” Lindsay opposes. They aww in disappointment. “Okay technically you’re both right because we all girls are going to make-up the boys here!” She backs up. Katie & Sadie back to their cheerful selves. “Whoa! Is that why we’re all guys here bra? I already bring myself for the groove.” Geoffrey dances a little despite being surprised as he expects a morning party will be going on. “Not all guys, I’m outta here.” Dunc leaves without wasting any second. “Can’t believe I waste precious time for sleep or planning pranks.” He mumbles as he walks away. “Duh, what else is the reason to bring you boys here?

Okay, so now I’m going to assign the pairs for our makeup session.” Lindsay replies. “But wait. Where’s Eva? Owen, and Zeke?” Bridgette interferes. “Eva is on her routine jogging with Zeke. You know, to let him get around the outdoor world. Not sure about Owen though.” Lindsay shrugs. “Alright, let’s begin! Ahem, ahem. Lewshana, you’re with Harold.” she continues. “Yesss. A makeover by a beautiful woman. What a lucky day!” Harold makes a yes hand gesture with a happy grin and glimpses at Lewshana. She naturally rolls her eyes, hands on hips and shakes her head. 

“Katie, Justin.” Lindsay assigns the next pair. Sadie gasps. “But I wanna make up Justin too!” “Too bad that I just got lucky to give him the best makeup ever.” Katie sneers. “How dare you!” Sadie was irritated. “Ladies please, calm down. I don’t like to see you two best friends fighting over someone handsome like me.” Justin puts both his hands on Katie and Sadie then pulls them closer to him. “You see, I have two faces, and by that I mean the right side and the left side. Sadie can do my right and Katie can do my left side. What do you say?” He makes peace between the girls. “Deal.” They both agreed satisfiedly.

Lindsay shakes her head and rolls her eyes seeing the girls’ instant tension. “Beth, you and DJ.” She points at both Beth and DJ. “Nice. We’re so going to have so much fun!” Beth utters and high-five DJ, he smiles. “ … Bridgette, hm… you’re with…” She taps her right index finger on her chin while she tries to pick either Geoffrey or Trenton, the boys left for options. Geoffrey is a bit panicked because he wishes to be paired with a particular girl. Meanwhile Trenton is just static as he’s not seeing what’s befalling him, same as Bridgette. Heather contrarily bites her lips. Nervous about the possibility of Lindsay’s choice. “Geoffrey.” Lindsay finally picks her choice. “YESSS!” Geoffrey shouts excitedly and jumps to the air as high as he could. Bridgette raises her eyebrows at him. Totally confused with his reaction. Heather gawking at Lindsay’s selection.

“Wait, so that leaves me with-” Trenton speaks under his breath. “Heatherrr!~ You go with Trenton.” Lindsay says. “WHAT? NO!!” Trenton objects. Heather hugs herself and takes a few steps away from him. “Aww, come on. If you go then who’s Heather gonna put makeup on?” Lindsay insists. “Well uhh, Tyler’s there.” Trenton points at Tyler who stands beside Lindsay from the start. “Sorry man. I just can’t do that.” Tyler declines. “What the? Then why are you here then?” Trenton perplexes. “I’m Lindsay's assistant for today. Never heard of makeup assistants?” Tyler states. “Well, to be fair, nope. I don’t.” Trenton replies. “You’re one poor guy. That’s why you need a makeover. C’mon, light up your face! The world would looove to see it.” Lindsay persuades with a sweet smile on her face. “Really?” Trenton feels a little delighted. Lindsay and Tyler smile and nod in sync. “Ahahaha, alrighty then.” Trenton complies. “Everyone! All of you can choose your spot around this area. Call me and Tyler whenever you’re done alright.” Lindsay says to all campers. After the grouping segment, all the participating campers took their spot facing each other. The girls get assorted makeup tools that they can trade with others or Lindsay later on.

“Sadie no, not there. Here. Katie, you dab a little lighter there.” Justin half-complains to make sure the makeup won’t ruin his looks while Katie and Sadie happily put blush and eyeliner on him with glittery eyes.

Lewshana suddenly stops from working as something is ticking her off. “What’s wrong, Lewshana? Are you alright?” Harold asks worriedly. “Oh yes I am until you keep smiling at me non-stop! It’s creeping me out.” She tells him what’s bothering her for minutes. “Ah sorry… It’s hard to resist when seeing such a magnificent woman like you this close.” He apologizes, rubs hands in guilt. She smiles pleasingly with raised eyebrows seeing him like that. “Just... keep still until I say I’m done. Okay, dreamy guy?” She tries to compromise with his silly behaviour. “Anything for you~” He willingly agrees.

“It’s been quite long since I put makeup on others. So I’m not sure which blush colour suits you hmm.” Beth being indecisive determining the suitability of DJ’s skin tone with the several colours available on the blush palette. “This one.” He casually points at one of the colours available on the blush palette with a friendly smile. “Wow, how did you know right away? Oh oh. Teach me! Teach me!” She was amazed by his confidence. “Of course. I can makeup you too if you want.” He gladly replies. “Yes please!” She gleefully accepts his offer.

“So Bridgette right? How long have you been surfing?” Geoffrey tries his best to spark some chatting time with Bridgette in an attempt to get to know her more. “I’ve been surfing since I was a little girl. My parents are such advocates for appreciating nature, saving wildlife and enjoying the breeze of the ocean. For short, it’s in my blood.” She proudly answers. “That’s awesome bra! Maybe we could surf the next day or whatever.” Geoffrey invites her by chance. “Sure, why not?” She’s being the same mind as him. “Cool.” He  says shortly.

Trenton slouches on his seat while Heather fakes her excitement getting him as her partner with a split-second insincere smile. They both groan as soon as they meet eye to eye. “What an unfortunate day.” She throws her head back. “I was about to say the same.” He acknowledges her frustration. She calmly breathes. “Let’s… get this over alright?” “Okay.” He replies shortly with no enthusiasm.

While the others are busy with their makeup business, Owen comes to the scene with brownies smeared on his mouth. “Owen!~ Where have you been? I thought you wouldn't come.” Lindsay welcomes Owen. “Hello guys! Sorry for coming late hahaha. I've just finished my mission just now.” He claims. “You mean stealing brownies from Chef's kitchen?” Tyler notices the thing on Owen’s mouth. “Oops!” Owen wiped his mouth. “Hehehe, please don’t tell him. Or he’s gonna kill me! I mean, who could resist those delicious brownies?! The chocolate, the chunks, the yumminess!” He then starts to weep in fear. “Alright alright, we promise. Now that you’re here, why don’t you join the rest doing makeup?” Lindsay pats his back gently. “Did you say makeup? Ohh, I love makeup!” He claps lively. “Lindsay! We’re donee!~” Katie and Sadie finish their task. "Nice. Show me your work girls!” Lindsay encourages. “We presenting you, ... JUSTIN!!!” They proudly reveal Justin with makeup on. Lindsay & Owen ogle Justin’s beauty. Their view filled with imaginary hearts and sparkles on Justin. Tyler gasps. “Wonderheart!” He was annoyed with Lindsay’s reaction. Lindsay snapped out of her dreamy world. “Oops, sorry. But that’s what makeup does, Tyling. Maybe you could have some makeover on you?~” She teases her lover. He pushes both his palms towards her. “Uh, maybe save that for later, or never.” He anxiously rejects her offer. “Guys, I don't want to cut the scene but uhh can I see my face now?” Justin slips in. “Whoops! Sorry Justin.” Katie & Sadie give him a mirror. “Hmm, not bad. Could do a little more work here and there but this will do.” Justin comments. “Yayyy!” They gleefully cheer. Katie, Sadie and Justin go their own way after Lindsay takes a picture of them three. “Hey Owen, you can join us here. DJ is reaaally good at makeup. Look at me!” Beth invites Owen. “Wow! You look gorgeous, Beth! Maybe Justin will notice me more with cool makeup on me. I’m on your way guys!” He dashes to Beth and DJ.

“Geoffrey…” Bridgette sighs deeply. “What is it?” He concernedly asks. “I’m sorry... Like very sorry.” She apologizes all of a sudden. “What’s wrong?” He put hands on her shoulders. “I’m just… Not good at this makeup thing.” She shamely covers her face. He gently holds her hands trying to calm her down. “Aww Bridge, I’m sure people gonna like it.” He notices Lindsay and Tyler that are sauntering while checking on pairs that are still working on their makeup. “Hey look! It’s them. C’mon, show them your makeup skill.” He convinces her. “Are you sure? B-but you don’t even look at your face yet.” She opposes him. “I don’t need to look at it to know that you're very talented bra.” He assures her with a bold grin. She smiles sweetly.

--- Confessional ---

“Wow, this is the first time someone who barely knows me praises me for something other than surfing. It’s like-” Bridgette says joyfully then takes a quick breath. “-a fresh breath of air!” She continues.

---

“Lindsay! Tyler! We’re hereee!” Geoffrey waves with both arms up high.* Lindsay and Tyler walk together to them. They hold their laugh halfway when they get a close look at Geoffrey. “What’s so funny dude?” Geoffrey asks. Truly curious of their reaction. “Your face my man. Very funny.” Tyler replies and takes a pic without Geoffrey and Bridgette ready. “This is a gold comedy.” He adds. “Funny? Don’t you mean beautiful?” Geoffrey tries to be as positive as he can. “Perhaps you have to take a look for yourself.” Lindsay lends Geoffrey a mirror. Geoffrey quickly becomes wordless but screams terrifyingly as he terrorizes with what he sees. He then glances at Bridgette. She slumps her shoulders. Looking down with frown seeing his reception on her makeup work. “Bridge. … I-” He tries to console her but she collects tears in her eyes in flash.  After that, she covers her face then runs away in embarrassment. “Bridgette? Bridgette! Argh, I messed up!” He regrets his actions. Possibly mad at himself as well.

Lewshana brushed a few last strokes on his face. “Mmm mmm! I think the cooking is ready now!” She speaks satisfiedly. “You can cook while doing makeup? Wow, what a superwoman you are!” Harold was amazed by her supposed abilities. “That means I’m done with the makeup, Funky Guy.” She corrects his statement. “Oh, so my face is like food? If it is, is it delicious?” He says in pure enthusiasm. She facepalms as he takes her words too seriously. “Hey you two over there! I’m all done with this dreamy white boy. So what do we do now hmm?” She calls out Lindsay and Tyler that happen to arrive nearby. “Wow, Lewshana! Your makeup is so... fantasy-like I’d say. In a good way of course.” Lindsay comments and Tyler nods along. “Is that true? Let me see my face first for confirmation. Even though I will say it’s perfect anyway.” Harold was eager to see the makeup. Lindsay passes him the mirror in her makeup pouch. “Woooowwww. I look…. like… a beautiful princess!” Harold is so amazed that he subconsciously enters his fantasy world while imagining himself in a beautiful dress and Lewshana in knight suit. He then kneels down and holds both her hands with pleading eyes. “Oh Lewshana, would you be my knight in shining armour, protect me from those mad dragons?” He points at Lindsay and Tyler. “HEY!” Lindsay and Tyler exclaim but less serious as they know he is just goofing around. Lewshana laughs amusingly at Harold's unscripted skit. “Your imagination is truly something sugar.” She pinches his cheek playfully. “Cut cut! Acting's over hehehe.” Lindsay claps an imaginary clapper meanwhile Tyler is ready with the camera. “Camera will be rolling for the next pic. Pose and say cheese in 3,2,1!” She counts with her fingers. Lewshana and Harold pose and smile accordingly, arm on each other’s shoulders. Harold has a big grin of proudness in the shot particularly.

Bridgette stumbles upon Geoffrey while trying to collect herself at the beach. “Sorry. Oh, umm. What are you doing here?” Geoffrey apologizes for the incident between them earlier and asks in concern. “You know, just umm, getting some time to cool off a little?” She replies. “Cool. Can I join?” He says. “Sure.” She says shortly. They sit down together on the sandy beach. Trying to dim their tension. “Sorry about that. ... You know?” He starts after a couple seconds of silence. She shakes her head. “I know I’m kinda being dramatic and because of that, I owe you an apology. So, I am sorry. I knew you did that just to be nice and stuff, but that's not an excuse to not improve myself. Next time, try to be honest with yourself, alright?” She nudges him. “A-are you sure about that?” He stutters. Unsure he hears things right. “Of course. We all humans have flaws. The difference is some people are more open about it, some people are not. Others might lie, and the rest never notice it. Well... maybe until someone else points it out.” She lectures humbly. “Whoa. That’s a lot of word bra! Might take me awhile to understand it.” He massages his forehead. She giggled and pats his shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll get it eventually.” “If you say so.” He chuckles. They next exchange slow eye blink and charming smiles.

DJ, Beth and Owen are happily sharing moments together with the makeup time. “Y’all seems so alive here. What’s the buzz all about?” Lindsay asks sportively. “Of course hahaha. Look at me! I’m beautiful!.” Owen answers. “Wow! DJ, you’re soooo going to be my makeup assistant!” She shrieks excitedly.

--- Confessional ---

“I secretly played with my Mama’s makeup one time. One day, I got caught. Thought I was gonna get punished but I ended up getting a makeup lesson from her.” DJ puts some blush on his cheeks with a proud smile.

---

Tyler gasps. “Wonderheart!” He was a little jealous. “Aww, of course you’ll always be my first and forever, Tyling. *Lindsay gently strokes his chin. “Hehehehe okay~ Alright, everyone. Get in your place and ready for a shot.” He gives in and sets up the camera for another shot. DJ, Beth and Owen all make peace signs and delightful grins as a trio unity. Tyler flashes the camera. “There, all done. I think we can call it a day now. Great job everyone!” He gives a thumbs up. The trio makes the same gestures back as a reply. “Is it though? I feel like we forgot someone. … Or sometwo?” Lindsay tries to track back their list of the makeup event participants. “Who could it be? Hmm…” Beth slips in. “Well, I saw Justin, Katie, Sadie, Geoff- Ah huh! Now remember. Did you?” Lindsay then turns to Tyler. “… Oh…” He pauses for a couple seconds and nods. “But before that can we take a break under the tree there? All the walking makes me a bit tired.” He says. ��Aww, of course Tyling. Bye you three. See ya later!~” Lindsay and Tyler hold hands and casually leave the trio after they finish and return her stuff.

“What took you so long, porcupine?! I already can feel like we’re definitely the last one to finish.” Trenton whines. “Excuse me but this is a work of ART, greasy hair. Of course it’s going to be long to finish. Just shut your mouth and eyes so that my job will be done in a minute. Sheesh!” Heather replies sharply. “Urgh, fine!” He rolls and closes his eyes and mouth. “Phew!” After a couple minutes, Heather wipes her forehead with the back of her hand. “Your face is one big wall but this will be worth it.” She was satisfied with her work. “Whatever, can I see my face already? He asks dryly. “Sure thing!” *Passes him a mirror while holding her laugh.

/// ENDING 1 ///

“Wha-WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FACE!???” Trenton screams hysterically, seeing his face resembling what he was terrified of as a kid. “Give a makeover that you deserve!” Heather burst out a laugh as soon he was horrified by his so-called new look. “You kidding me!? I look like a mime!!!” He shouts ragingly. “Okay, what about it hmm?” She replies with a sassy voice. “Do you know how much I hate mime?!” He furiously asks. “Judging from your face, I just so happen to know it now.” She boldly faces him. “You give me bad makeup, I give you bad makeup!” He angrily snatches eyeliner from her hand while threatening her. She gasps and fastly snarls. “Oh no you don’t!!!”

Somewhere nearby Trenton and Heather, Zeke was huffed slowly stopping from running. “Who told you to stop pipsqueak?! I’m not slowing down all day just to see you being lazy!” Eva runs and shouts far behind him. “But my legs are starting to cramp! Ah!!!!” He tiredly sits and massages his legs. “That’s because you don’t warm up correctly! I already warned you but you don’t listen!” She reprimands of his carelessness. He suddenly hears some commotion. “Did you hear something?” She eventually stops from her running. “Now that you’re mentioning it, yes I do. I wonder where it came from?” She wonders, scanning her left and right. “I think it’s coming from over here.” He directs her to the sound source. Zeke and Eva instinctively hide behind a huge growing tree. They’re seeing Trenton and Heather fighting tooth and nail. “Great. Now the angry pants are making a show.” Eva puts hands on her hips and rolls eyes. “But I’m enjoying it.” She adds with snickers. “Uhh aren’t we gonna check them if they’re just playing around? They look serious, like that one couple who fight to death on the TV.” Zeke anxiously persuades her to check the fighting duo. “Nah, I’m sure they’re good.” She brushes him off confidently. This makes him stare at her in concern and worry.

Trenton hardly grips her shirt and pulls her closer to him with his other hand ready with eyeliner, held in a way to attempt stabbing it to her eyes. Heather grabs his arm with the eyeliner and hardly pushes it far enough for her jaw to open and presses his arm with her teeth solidly. He is only barely able to scratch her face with the eyeliner and throws it aside as his plan fails. In no time he pulls his bitten arm away to let it free from her jaws grip. After that he used the other arm to try snatching a bottle of white foundation that rolled nearby to continue his messing-up-her-face mission. Out of rage adrenaline, she swings her leg high and near his head with her front leg (read: high roundhouse kick). He hastily grasps her motionful leg, causing a huge pushing impact on his side face and losing body balance in split-second.

“Wait a minute, that’s illegal! Zeke, I think you’re right. We need to do something.” Eva is fancy watching Trenton and Heather like they're amateur wrestlers for a couple seconds until she realizes they did some illegal moves in wrestling. “Oh now you’re agreeing.” He crosses arms and sulks. “We have no time to waste, pipsqueak. Go get help and FAST!” She raises her voice up. “Then what you’ll be doing?” He asks, dissatisfied of her sudden direction. “I stay here because I’m your instructor. Now go go go!” She commands sternly. Having no much choice siding him, he sighs then runs in order to find someone nearby for the emergency. “HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!!!” He screams. “Who’s that?” Lindsay heard Zeke but unsure whose voice it was. “Sounds like Zeke. Looks like he’s in trouble.” Tyler dashed towards Zeke as Zeke is soon seen by him from far away and Lindsay tags along. “Hey dude, you look hurried. Is there anything we can help?” Tyler asks worriedly. “They. Fight. Real. Argh, I have no time to explain, just follow me!” Zeke rushes back to where he and Eva saw Trenton and Heather while the couple tail him from behind. They’re very shocked to see a huge altercation between Trenton and Heather. Without a question, Tyler impulsively joins Eva giving an extra hand to drag raging Trenton away from Heather. Meanwhile Lindsay and Zeke lock Heather’s arms and abdomen to avoid more injuries than they already had.

“YOU! What are you so mad about?! Did you know you could kill her in any second?” Eva scolded him. “What if that’s what I wanna do...” Trenton growls, glaring both Eva and Tyler intensely. They’re bulging their eyes of terror as they don’t get to see much of his face while the two are fighting because his hair covers most of it. “I was about to ask that too. Ahahahahahaha… haha… ha...” Tyler tries to break the silence with awkward laughter.

--- Confessional ---

“I swear, if Eva and I lose our grip for one second, Heather would definitely be a dead beaten meat in no time with Trenton in that much anger!” Tyler shudders remembering the incident.

---

Heather collapsed as soon as Trenton was far away from her. “A-are you okay, Heather?” Lindsay gets Heather up sitting on the ground and patting her back. “Other than my face smeared with bonus makeup, I’m alright… I think…” Heather says, seeing her injuries inflicted by Trenton’s massive rage. Some part of her was satisfied but other part felt it was wrong of her for causing him to do so. “Don’t guys are not supposed to wear makeup?” Zeke slips in. “No, you get that wrong, Zeke. Trust me, once you see DJ’s makeup work, you’ll change your mind.” Lindsay puts a hand on his shoulder and the other hand wipes the air. He nods in trying to understand Lindsay’s statement. “So if what you’re saying is true, that means YOU’RE the one who gives the wrong kind of makeup to him.” He points to Heather. Heather gasps in shock. “What? No! It’s a work of art. He’s the one who can’t appreciate it. You too!” She crosses her arms, looking away. “Then why would he be so mad?” He sighs as he gets tired because he had too much information to digest in one go. Something that is still new to him due to him being homeschooled where he was taught things slowly one by one. “You know what, suit yourself. I’m outta here. Geez…” He’s so done for the day and walks away. Lindsay shakes her head seeing them two.

--- Confessional ---

“I can’t believe that even the homeschool boy said my makeup sucked! Why am I surrounded with uncultured people? Arghhhh!” Heather rants in dissatisfaction with “everyone” trying to burn her down.

---

--- Cut Confessional ---

“Yes, correct and A+. I know the fight is gonna happen. Too bad I don’t get to take some shots of them. Actually, I do plan to mess up with other Gophers beforehand but putting Trenton and Heather together is easy instant drama. Stab the surface then ambush the interior! Ahhahahahahah! But to be fair, Heather is the one who gave him the makeup. She digs her own grave. Not me.” Lindsay disclosed the essence of the incident.

---

Later in the evening, Trenton knocks the girls’ cabin door. Coincidentally, Lindsay is the one who opens the door. “Oh.” She says half-surprised. “Lindsay hey! Good that you’re here. Well, umm I want to say that err I’m very sorry about this morning. I don’t mean to ruin your makeup tools.” With his back slightly down, a hand brushing his nape and eyes on the floor, he politely apologized. “Aren't you supposed to say sorry to Heather?” She low-key tries to stir his mind but actually curious with his reaction as well. “Maybe for the later time. Besides, she left me all these marks and bruises.” He gently brushes his bandaged arm. “Man, that girl is something grr! I don’t think I even want to talk to her for a couple days unless I reaaally have no other choice.” He complains. “Understandable. I would be mad too if I get horrible makeup done on my face… She nods in understanding his difficulty. He then bitterly smiles. “So what do you say?” “Alright alright, forgive you. Besides, my stuff's all fine. Don’t sweat it. I worry more about your injuries here. It looks ... so serious.” She inspects his covered wounds half-worried knowing that she’s part of the cause. “Yeah… Umm, can I ask you something?” He tries to change the topic. Not wanting to keep dwelling about it. “Sure what is it?” She goes along. He scans his surroundings and beckons after that to whisper his request to her. She simply nods to what he's whispering about.

Skipped to the next day. Almost all campers except for one are already gathered around Chris. At this point they’re hoping for the last camper to join them as soon as possible or the challenge will not be started. Impatience started to get into Eva. “What took him so long??! Urgh! I swear if he doesn’t turn up in the next second, I’ll-” “Sorry for making you wait awhile, Miss Eva, and everyone.” Trenton interrupts while catwalks towards them. “Oh, you again... No wonder.” Eva sighs gladly that she doesn’t have to wait any longer. “Yeah… Hey, thanks for yesterday, and you three too. I owe you guys a lot.” Trenton thanks Zeke, Lindsay and Tyler with smiles and keeps walking. All other campers stare at him with assorted reactions. “Whatever”, weirded out, curious, wonder, and even impressed, all jumbled in.

“Well, well, well. What we have here hmm?” Chris asks. So puzzled with Trenton’s new style. “I just got a new routine. That’s all.”  Trenton shrugs. “Yeah yeah. I can see that. Make sure to beat the clock next time dude, the clock is still ticking when you’re not walking.” Chris taps his watch that is hugging his left wrist. “Heheh alright.” Trenton replies shortly. “Man, you’re looking like you have an attitude with that face, and the bandages too.” Duncan sportively taunts. “Oh Dunc! I already had that actually. But only for a PARTICULAR person. You know who.” Trenton smashes Dunc’s words including a smirk. “Haha, Nice one.” Dunc was thrilled with Trenton’s wit. Trenton then seeks for remaining seats. He feels disappointed as no other seat other than next to Heather. Eventually, he reluctantly sits beside her.

“Well, well, well…” Heather tries to needle him but he quickly snarls in front of her. “Okay, okay. I-I’ll give you some space.” She pushes palms towards him and slides herself slightly away from him. “… I’m sorry alright…” She looks down and brushes her arm with guilt. He only blows steam through his nose and rolls eyes. Not in the mood to respond to anything from her.

--- Confessional ---

“Yesterday's event was very harsh with all these hurties, but it inspires me to start having a new look. You know, trying something new hahaha. All thanks to Lindsay.” Trenton pulls out an eyeliner, presumably given by Lindsay from his trouser pocket. “... Okay maybe porcupine as well urgh!” He finally admits begrudgingly.

---

[boarix]

Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part V

The Promise

Trigger warnings: canon language/violence/gun, drug and alcohol use. Mature/suggestive content

Game spoilers!

Please enjoy!

 “Why won’t she listen?!”

Danse was pacing in Curie’s lab. His steps were heavy even without his power armor and he kept jarring the microscope making it almost impossible for Curie to read the slide.

“She listens to you, monsieur Danse, but she is most distraught over almost loosing MacCready and effectively loosing monsieur Hancock. She is so downtrodden; we need to respect her wish to move more slowly, oui?”

“I could crush them! The Dragoons and I and one or two M-42s... It would be over like that.”

Snapping his fingers, Danse roused Panther who had been napping in a window. The great monster of a housecat proceed to walk across Curie’s desk placing itself strategically between her and her work.

Sighing in defeat she gave it a pat, “We do not know how many civilian innocents may be killed by a direct assault.”

Wraith would never again call for the destruction of an entire facility; the loss of life between the Institute and the Prydwen would forever haunt her.

Danse had gone back to pacing-out his frustration and hearing Curie’s uncharacteristically impatient sigh, Panther jumped down from her desk and intercepted the large man, purring loudly and rubbing on his leg. Danse stopped automatically and as is if a switch in his brain had been flipped, he stooped slightly to pet the cat.  

“Ah, you are Pavlov’s dog.” Curie smiled at him, “You have no say; the cat is there so you must stop to pet it.”

Curie giggled at her “joke” and combined with the smile she gave him, Danse had a rush of feelings and thoughts that were rather unsettling.

I wonder if I could… If she would let me…

His thoughts were cut off by the door slamming open and a ridiculously muddy MacCready poking his head in, “Hey is the boss lady back yet?”

Curie jumped when the door opened, “Oh my goodness! Why, you are all together mud! Do not come in here so filthy. Why are you a swamp monster?”

“I’m helping Sturges dredge for the mill. Is Wraith back yet?”

“What, did you lose a bet?” Danse was laughing.

“Why do people keep asking me that?” MacCready was exasperated, “Of COURSE I lost a bet! No one would willingly volunteer to help with this crap! Let me know when she gets home.”

“Is there something you required from Madame?”

MacCready was thankful that they couldn’t see him blush through the mud, “No! I just… want to know that’s all.” He slammed the door as he left.

Curie had returned her focus to the microscope. Danse, feeling that the moment had passed, but that some of the new thoughts and ideas might be worth revisiting later, left her to work; closing the door politely.

 Wraith had taken Shaun back to Diamond City for the fall with the intention to work a local case with Valentine while she was there. There had been some whispered dissention over the synth detective’s new look and Wraith had hoped that her presence combined with Piper’s endorsement would help to ease any growing negativity.

She had been gone for a while and MacCready had been increasingly grouchy at over being left behind. He didn’t remember what had happened after he had been shot, and Wraith had been rather vague about the subsequent fight between her and Hancock. What she had been clear on was that for the time being he was grounded for his own safety and there were a lot of tasks he could help with before his next semester started.  

“I can’t believe she took the dog too. I’m so flippn’ bored!”

As it happened, as soon as MacCready slammed the clinic door, Wraith crossed through Big Bridge Gate. She had made the trip to and from Diamond City travelling incognito as a male caravan guard and so made it all the way to her office undisturbed. Dogmeat’s disguise was simpler: Wraith took his red bandana off.

“May I help you?” Sofie had no idea whom she was addressing and was legitimately startled when Wraith’s voice answered her.

“How’s it been, Sofie dear?” Taking off some of her gear while the ghoulette updated her, Wraith interrupted long enough to suggest they go outside to the picnic tables, “It’s really nice out today and I want to sit in the sun while it’s out.”

MacCready caught wind that Sofie was talking to someone that “might be The Boss” and so immediately went over to impress her with his mud. Swaggering up as if he was in a tux, his tone was overtly flirtatious, “Well if it isn’t the best looking ladies in town! Get a load of you two knockouts! Hey, Sofie who’s in the little tower today, it’s Lloyd right?” At the diminutive ghoul’s nod he winked at them, “Scuse me a minute…”

Laughing a little at his odd behavior and appearance Wraith and Sofie continued with their meeting until they both jumped at a sudden scream, “GGGGAAAAAHHHHH!!! MACCREADY YOU DISGUSTING FUCK!! I CAN’T FUCKING UN-SEE THAT SHIT, MAN! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!” Then, looking all the world as innocent as a new born, MacCready returned to the picnic tables adjusting his belt.

“What did…?”

Wraith interrupted her quickly, “Nope! No, Sofie. Just… no.” She laughed in spite of herself, “Mac, if you’re through, I got some more ballistic fiber and I’ve been meaning to mod you some new stuff. Go shower and meet me back at the house. Hey, the showers are that way.”

“Why can’t I use your office shower? I’m gonna get a change of clothes…”

“I’m about to get in there myself and you are not walking through the house like that! Go use the public showers and I’ll have someone bring you clean gear.”

“Okay, mom! Jeez!”

 The community showers were one of Wraith’s personal triumphs. Although the pressure wasn’t always the best, at least the users had the option of hot running water. MacCready relaxed into the warm water and had just finished lathering up everything when he heard Curie’s voice.

“Monsieur MacCready I have brought you fresh things. These old are to be burned, oui?”

“No! Don’t!” In a panic, he forgot himself and ran out to the locker room area, slipping on the floor and nearly colliding into her.

“Oh! I was only… joking…” Curie turned an odd shade of pink as she got a full frontal view of everything MacCready had to offer. “Oh! Eeeeeee!” Running away she dropped the pair of pants she had brought, but nothing else.

Wearing nothing but a confused face and a few suds, he picked up the pants, “Hmmm, commando it is.”

 Wraith was surprised to see him half naked a few minutes later, “I sent Curie with a full change of clothes.” As he told her the story she started to laugh.

“I’m glad you think it’s funny, but I’m confused; I thought she’s a doctor. Doesn’t she see naked people all the time?”

“Hmm. Maybe it was just the shock of it? Actually maybe she hasn’t. I’ve never forced anyone to get a physical and Preston was prepped for surgery before we got there. All of the instruction she’s done has been field med based, and they used cadavers so probably never a live man either.”

“Didn’t she help with medical research and stuff? Before she was…”

“Well, keep in mind when Dr. Collins programed her, all of the anatomy and physiology data was just that, data. And if she ‘saw’ a live naked patient it would have been through her ocular sensors. They aren’t quite the same as our eyes and she wouldn’t have had a… an emotional, I guess, reaction. So she has never seen a live naked man before. Then when a handsome naked guy who is dripping wet, bumps into her… yeah, she’d probably flip.”

Now it was MacCready’s turn to blush, “Never seen a naked man before… Where did you get cadavers…oh yeah, never mind.”

Wraith was laughing hard, “Yeah…heh… she’ll forever… hahaha… compare…” She snorted loudly, “… all other guys… to you! BWAAAHAHAHA!”

“Wait… you think I’m handsome?”

Wraith rolled her eyes dramatically at him, “Yeah, Mac. You be sure to apologies to her later though, okay? Wait. You better let me speak to her first because I’m laughing but you might have legitimately traumatized her.”

“Well, it is a lot to take in.” He spread his arms out wide and lifted his chin proudly.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep your arms up, I’m gonna measure you.” As she took the various measurements, Wraith found herself thinking about how handsome she really thought the young man was. Trying not to make herself blush she pushed the thoughts away and rushed, especially his inseam.

Stop it! Don’t think about his junk! You creep. Old bat. No underwear…. Gaaaahhhh!

Trying to cover up her busy mind she read his measurements out loud as she wrote them down, “I’m glad I measured first cause you’re filling out, I’m surprised your coat even fit you anymore.”

“What do you mean? I’m not done growing yet?”

“You’ve been at your full height, I’m sure. I just mean that I’ve been feeding you well and having you do more physical tasks than just runnin’ and gunnin’. You didn’t have as lean a winter as the ones you’ve told me about either, so your body can actually apply calories to muscle mass building as well. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll never be a beast like Danse.” She had thrown in that last bit to deflate his ego as he had started to flex experimentally during her explanation and it was giving her all sorts of fresh material for her dirty brain. She went to sit at her workbench, more to have her back to him, less to actually start her work.

Will you please stop! You are fifteen years his senior and he… and he… looks it.

MacCready’s ego was rather substantial however and so the jibe didn’t seem to faze him. Instead he swaggered over to the table and plopped down on the top, folding his arms he smiled down at her, “You know everything about me, huh? I don’t know anything about you though. I mean, not really.”

She immediately stood up so she could have her back to him again feigning interest in the ballistic fiber, “What do you mean? You know me, Mac!”

“I know what you’re like. I know that you’re a good person. But I don’t even know what your life was like, you know… before. You said you were a lawyer, but I don’t know what that really involves.”

“I assure you, it’s boring stuff.”

“C’mon, Wraith, give me something! Just one little story… Please?”

She sighed, defeated. At first she tried to speak calmly and slowly but her pace soon picked up, “Okay. I was in the Marine Corps for a few years and bounced around a bit; I worked for the Adjutant office and Ground Supply and a few months over-seas with Public Affairs.”

She took in a large, shaking breath, “When I was home on leave for a cousin’s wedding, my parents and I were in a bad car wreck. I was the only survivor and then it was just barley. That was actually the first time I heard of Vault Tec; they had a lot of contracts with the military and they offered to help pay for my surgeries and recovery if they could run some extra tests. I didn’t really have much of a choice; I essentially belonged to the military.”

She had started to pace back and forth as she talked, “I found out later that I wouldn’t be able to have children. The doctors said it was because of the damage I received from the accident, but I have always wondered about that.”

“Wait, they told you that you couldn’t have kids? But… Shaun?”

“I’ll get to that.” She resumed her pacing, “I decided that I wanted to change my career focus. I still wanted to stay in the military but I thought I might actually feel like I was doing something if I got my law degree and became a JAG lawyer.”

“Jag?”

“Yeah, it stands for ‘Judge Advocate General’s Corps’. She stopped pacing and stood silently. She was practically panting by now.

“Wraith? Are you okay? You don’t have to…”

“No, I’m alright. I just haven’t talked this much about before... Not to anyone.” She closed her eyes and controlled her breathing, “That is actually how I met Nate.”

MacCready straightened up a little at the name. She almost never talked about her late husband.

“Nathaniel Emmanuel Keita-Johnson. He was the Army liaison assigned to me for a case I was working. He was also just about the most beautiful human being I had ever seen; tall, dark and handsome. But he was also kind and fully committed to justice. I fell in love with him immediately. I kept it professional though and never let on what I was feeling. So much so that he thought I didn’t like him at all!” She had started breathing hard again.

“Wraith, really! You don’t have to…”

“No! I can do this!” She was back to pacing, even faster this time, “After the case wrapped he approached me and apologized. He said ‘I’m sorry if I wasn’t helpful to you’. I couldn’t believe it! I apologized for him feeling that he needed to apologize to me…”

“That sounds like you.” MacCready was trying to be supportive.

“Yeah. Well, we got to talking and then the rest as they say is history. We got married and I was amazed that he even liked me let alone wanted to be with me, especially since I couldn’t have babies. Well, then Vault Tec showed up again. The rep congratulated us on our marriage and asked if we would like to participate in a surrogate program.” She could see that MacCready was confused, “That’s when they take a fertilized egg sample from the parents and implant it in another person. At first I told them ‘no’. But I reconsidered and Nate said that he really wanted to see… me… as a mother…” Wraith was shaking now and started gasping for air.

MacCready took her in his arms and held her tightly to his chest, “Stop! It’s okay! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you. Just breathe.”

He had unwittingly echoed Hancock, and Wraith’s mind went into a spin as she simultaneously re-lived the deaths of her husband and her son as well as Hancock’s dismissal. She blacked out as her body re-set itself. MacCready continued to hold her as she briefly went limp and her breathing evened out.

As she came-to she was keenly aware that she was pressed against MacCready’s bare chest. She tried to focus on his heart beat and regain control. Then he began humming I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire and rocked them gently back and forth. She could hear his heart rate increase as she put her arms around him and reciprocated the embrace.

I just want to feel something else… Maybe I could… With Mac I could…

He pulled back from her and setting his hand on the top of her head he made as if to pet her hair, but ended up running his hand gently down the side of her face to cup her chin, “I’m sorry Wraith.” With his face mere inches from hers it was nothing to dip his head slightly and set his lips against hers.

The kiss was meant to be an offer of gentle support, but as she returned it with urgency he felt a fire ignite inside him. His hand moved to the back of her head to deepen the kiss even as she wove her fingers through his hair pulling him to her. He hefted her up to straddle him and pushing her against a wall, ground his growing erection between her legs.  She moaned against his mouth and he thought he might lose it right then. Reaching down between them she cupped and stroked him through his pants.

He bucked himself into her hand, “God yes… please! Uhhh!”

As Wraith moved her hands to his zipper an image of Hancock flashed into MacCready’s mind and he grabbed her hands to stop her. Shaking and panting he set her down and backed away, “No we can’t. I’m sorry we can’t.”  

Wraith completely misunderstood and was blushing furiously, “I’m sorry, MacCready! I guess I… I don’t…”

“No! God no, it’s not what you think!” Knuckling his fists into his eyes he reeled back, “I promised! I promised him!”

“Mac, I don’t understand… what…”

“Hancock!” Backing away from her toward the door, MacCready’s face had twisted into an intensely anguished mask, “Please don’t think that I don’t want to… God I do… so fucking bad! But I promised Hancock that I’d never steal from him again!”

Wraith became very still, “Robert Joseph, I do NOT belong to Hancock!” She was clenching her fists and wouldn’t look at him, “He doesn’t even… like me anymore!” She felt so childish saying it out loud.

“He loves you!” He raised his voice at her shaking head, “I know he does! And you love him! And… and I don’t know what happened, but I know it’s my fault you guys aren’t together anymore.”

“We were never together!” Wraith was trying hard not to start crying.

“But… you slept together...”

“Slept. He held me while I slept.” As angry as she was she felt a stab of sympathy for him. Even more so when she saw tears standing out on his cheeks. She reached for him, “Mac, it’s okay…”

“No. You never had a chance… to… It’s all my fault!” He fled through the door, and she could hear him run up the stairs to his apartment.

 Wraith stood in silence for several minutes. She briefly thought to go knock on Cait’s door; the other woman would probably help her alleviate her intense sexual frustration. She almost immediately dismissed the idea. Cait wasn’t who she wanted and she didn’t want to use her like that. Instead she took a copious amount of Mentats and proceeded to write up 3 months’ worth of task-lists for Sanctuary. As she came down she felt an intense compulsion to go see Nate’s grave. Hiking up past the vault she remembered too late that she was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and had no armor or weapons at all.

She didn’t see the shadow following her.

Wraith had planted hubflowers around the simple stone that served as her late husband’s grave marker. She sat on the damp earth and took several measured, flower scented, breaths before speaking, “Hey Nate. You remember that talk we had about moving on if one of us dies? Well, I thought I had someone in mind… I wasn’t ready yet but… there was a man… a ghoul actually and also maybe a man. I guess I thought I could have both.” Tears streamed down her face, “But it turns out… no one actually wants me anyway.”

Lost in her pity-party she didn’t see the shadow circle around her.

Finally feeling a presence, Wraith lifted her face from her hands to see a pair of glowing eyes quietly observing her. She wasn’t afraid as she didn’t feel a harmful aura, “Panther?”

Upon hearing its name the cat began chuffing at her. Stepping across the grave with its whiskers fully extended, it licked her nose before crashing its forehead into hers and wiping her tears with its face and neck. It then made room for itself on her lap: sitting on her crossed legs while placing its head and paws on her shoulder.

She returned the cat’s hug, whispering, “Thanks Nate.”

  The next morning Wraith was gone.

She had left notes for Sofie, MacCready and Danse and had spoken with Curie, but everyone got the same information: Wraith would be back TBA. With 3 months of task-lists no one lacked for clear directives, but MacCready told everyone to leave him alone and spent 3 days in the big tower. In the end, Danse was the one to go and bring him down after a lot of yelling and toilet-bucket throwing. It was even later rumored that Danse had called him a, “whiny little shit”.

  Deacon knew that the young man traveling alone was actually Wraith. At first he was irritated with her, but then decided that her disguise was probably good enough to fool anyone but him. Wraith was 5’7” so with the heeled boots she was wearing; she was already the average height of most males in the commonwealth. She had altered her walk as well so her movements and body carriage denoted a general sense of “maleness”. She had even worn a wig. His irritation changed to pride as he jogged up next to her, “Whatcha doin’?”

Wraith didn’t jump or flinch at his approach as she had felt him from a ways off, “Walking.”

“Walking is for saps! Me, I’m swimmin’!” So saying he started wheeling his arms around as they moved along, “C’mon in, the waters fine!”

She couldn’t help but smile but wasn’t exactly in the mood to feel better yet, “Looks more like you’re trying to land a plane on a carrier.”

“Where we going anyway?” He was doing the breaststroke now.

“We?”

“Yeah, it means the speaker,” He pointed at himself, “and one or more other people,” He pointed at her, “considered together.”

“It’s getting dark and I’ve been settlement hopping and I’m worn out and… I’m trying to do the smart thing by stopping at a safe-house.”

“Do you have some of that sweet leather stuff?”

“Always.”

“Then we shall join you for dinner.” He had stopped swimming and instead adopted a courtly walk, “That time ‘we’ was meant to indicate that my royal self has made a decree, thusly.”

Wraith gave in. After an enjoyable banter-filled dinner she felt herself relax. Spreading her bedroll and tossing Deacon a spare blanket, she was amazed that she was as comfortable as she was.

Maybe it’s because I know he doesn’t ‘want’ me. There aren’t any expectations. I’m just safer because he’s here.

They lay in the dark for a few minutes before Deacon finally worked up the nerve, “Wraith, we are friends right?”

She propped herself up on her elbows to try and see him better, “Of course! Why?”

He resisted the urge to get closer to her, “Friends talk about stuff. You want to tell me why you and Hancock aren’t speaking?”

Flopping back down she grunted, “Ask him.”

“Hancock barely tolerates me. We are too much alike. So as much as I like fucking with him… I’d just as soon go poke a yao guai.”    

“Who says I won’t punch ya?”

“Punch yes, eviscerate no.”

“Oh I’m sure he wouldn’t do that.” Tucking an arm behind her head she sighed dramatically, ending it in a growl, “I think he’s mad about MacCready. We almost lost him and it more or less could have been avoided, had I not been so stubborn.”

“That doesn’t track boss; Hancock knows what this life is like. Notice he didn’t try to stop you like I did. Instead he came with, probably thought it would be fun. The guy gets off on danger.”

“I don’t know… he’s got a soft spot for MacCready. He was pretty possessive after he’d been shot.” She started to run her hand back and forth across her buzzed hair, “Actually it wasn’t until Mac kissed me that he started acting weird.”

She could see him smile in the dark, “Oh yeah? Exchanging fluids with ol’ Hatty MacCheekbones are we?”

You have no idea…

“It wasn’t like that; he was delirious and mistook me for his late wife Lucy.”

“What are you going to do tomorrow?”

The abrupt change in subject caught her off guard. ”Uh… I donno. I don’t actually have a plan out here. Like I said I’ve been going through Minutemen settlements incognito, checking on everything unofficially and so far so good. I’m happy with all the leaders I’ve picked and there really isn’t anything other than the big projects…”

“So come back to the Railroad for a bit.”

His interruption surprised her, “Uh… I don’t know, Deacon.”

“Or, or, just hear me out. Help me with my current project.”

It would be nice to have something different to do… A change in focus…

“Okay.”

“Really?!”

His excitement made her smile, “On one condition; you can’t swim on dry land the whole time. Wavin’ your arms around like that… you’ll have vertibirds trying to land on us.”

  There wasn’t supposed to be coursers.

Deacon’s project was meant to be a simple package transport: a pick-up and drop-off of a synth from one secure location to another. It was supposed to be a routine mission and a way for Deacon to spend more time with Wraith.

There wasn’t supposed to be coursers.

Wraith’s high perception picked up on the concealed courser before it fired a shot, “There!” Throwing a knife at the mirage-like ripple in the air, she gauged about where its hand would be and got off a rifle round as it moved to block; its Institute pistol coming into view as it left its hand. The ripple moved away and Wraith chased after, “Pursuing!”

Moving himself between the synth they were transporting and the apparent threat, Deacon was surprised when she grabbed his arm and twisted it painfully behind him. Forcing him down she stood on his right leg to keep him prone. Rolling to his right, he brought his left leg around and kicked hard against her right knee. For a split second her hold weakened, long enough for him to continue his momentum back to a standing position, pulling his silenced pistol from its holster as he did.

Recovering quickly, she grabbed his pistol wielding hand in a vise-like grip. Pain forced his hand open and the gun dropped to the ground. Not losing a beat, Deacon gave her a closed-fist double-tap to her temple. She caught his fist on his third jab and yanked forward to grip his neck with her other hand. Releasing his fist, she gripped his throat with both hands and lifted him off his feet.

“GHAACK! How are you so tall?!”

Activating his shoe knife, he delivered a brutal kick to her armpit. Had she been a normal human this would have more than broken her hold. As she was a courser, she flinched and dropped her arms slightly but not enough to set him on the ground. Clawing at her hands, he could feel himself losing consciousness. Mustering every remaining ounce of strength, he swung his foot up and slammed the knife into the side of her head. He knew she was dead, yet her body didn’t seem to know and was still holding him painfully aloft.

His last thought was, “Oops.”

 Using a combination of her berserker rage and an incredibly sharp combat knife, Wraith sliced through the courser’s arms, dropping Deacon to the ground. Prying the hands away from his purpled neck she tilted his head back to begin CPR. Knowing full well she wasn’t competent enough to perform a tracheotomy, she prayed his windpipe hadn’t been crushed. “Common Deacon! Fight for me buddy!” Still not getting a heartbeat, she slammed her fist onto his chest, “God damn you, YOU ASS! BREATHE!”

“Ouch.” His voice was a horse whisper and was followed by a wracking cough.

Shooting him up with Med-X and a stimpak, Wraith gathered him into her arms and proceeded to cry. He briefly struggled against her touch but she squeezed all the tighter, “Nope! I get to. I get to hold you after that! I’m sorry and you can yell at me when you’re better, but I get to fucking hold you now.”

He reached up to tenderly touch her bruised and battered face.

   “I know it will be difficult for you monsieur Deacon, but you must use your voice as little as possible as you are recovering.”

Curie’s no-nonsense face made Deacon want to laugh, but the thought of how painful it might be kept his chuckle at bay. Nodding instead he hopped down off of her examination table and joined Wraith in the waiting room.

“Doc sez I shouldn’t talk.”

Wraith laughed at him, “As if that’s possible!” As they headed to the door, Wraith stopped short causing Deacon to almost bowl her over, “Shit! Mac is out there.” Deacon raised an eyebrow at her. “I scared him and now he won’t let me out of his sight. He’s kinda smothering me.” Deacon raised both eyebrows at her. “Okay, okay I get it. Shush yer eyebrows, jeez!”

  Hancock sensed someone standing behind him, “Fahr, can you tell me why in the goddamn I wrote three copies of the same fucking page?!”

“You were probably high. Or drunk. Both?”

He was in no mood for Deacon and didn’t bother to turn around, “I don’t have time or the patience to deal with your shit right now.” He shuffled some papers around to emphasize how busy he was, “The Railroad needs something, they can leave a memo.”

“Actually it’s Wraith that needs something.” Deacon involuntarily flinched as Hancock slammed his palms down on the table. “She’s not well, Hancock. She doesn’t sleep or eat hardly at all.”

Hancock’s voice was low and dangerous, “What, am I her pa now? She has plenty of folks to take care of her.”

“You mean MacCready, right? You know they aren’t together, right? He completely rejected her and she was heartbroken!”

“It’s none of my concern.” Hancock’s shoulder set and voice told on his lie, “I have problems of my own here without having to worry after the good General Wraith.”

“Wraith isn’t her real name.”

Pushing himself up violently, Hancock closed the distance to Deacon with remarkable speed. Grabbing the other man by the shoulders he slammed him roughly into the wall, “I DON’T FUCKING CARE!”

Throwing caution to the wind Deacon got in his face, literally pressing his forehead to Hancock’s and dislodging his tricorn, “I think you fucking care quite a bit! You can’t lie to a liar, Hancock. I know you are in love with that woman.” As Hancock released him and backed away, Deacon feeling he’d gained the upper hand, followed after him, “You thought you were in their way right? You thought ‘If I’m not around then they’ll fall into each other’s arms’. Right?! Well the jokes on you because they are both too hung up on you, of all people, to even be with each other!”

“Well in the absence of us both, I’m surprised you didn’t swoop in and snatch her up! Follown’ her around all the goddamn time… sneaking around actually; It’s obvious you’re in love with her too!”

Deacon's shoulders sagged. Removing his sunglasses he cleaned them with his shirt, “Of course I’m in love with her. We all are.” Looking back at Hancock he smiled a sad little smile, “I can’t be that for her though. I had my chance at happiness and I destroyed it. I will never have that again; I don’t deserve it.”

Hancock’s body posture changed, “That ugly face yer makin’… like lookin’ in a mirror.”

“Well, people are always saying how much we look alike.”

“Heh!” Hancock swept his hat from the floor and returned it to his brow, “Well, I’m not sure what to do. She’d be pretty pissed at me still… Oh, and don’t think for two seconds that whole ‘Wraith isn’t her real name’ shit was a huge bomb! I know better than that. Who names their kid Wraith? I figured it had to be a nickname.”

“It’s from when she was a Marine; the ladies in her unit all choose spirit names like ‘Banshee’ and ‘Geist’ and called themselves the Spirit Squadron.” Deacon chuckled, “It’s interesting that she’d prefer Wraith to…”

“No! Don’t tell me!” Hancock quickly interrupted, “I don’t deserve to know unless I ask her myself. Although I doubt she would want to speak to me anytime soon.”

“Drop her a memo.”

       Thank you so much for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please see my Wraith in the Ruins master-link under my tags. =^..^=

[pirirps]

mythbusters starters: season 6

who are the mythbusters?

let’s drop grenades down the toilets, like in high school!

well, i wouldn’t know about that, because i was too busy studying chemistry.

what is this, opposite land?

arise, my son!

this may look nice and sunny, and it is, but it’s really a torture chamber.

this oughta clean out the pipes!

it’s a perfect storm of... something that causes an explosion.

aaaand cue the chemistry.

i feel like i’ve been lied to.

i’d imagine that torture is a pretty results-driven business.

if it takes months to do it, it’s not really a feasible form of torture.

yeah, but we didn’t see the _____ go all the way THROUGH the guy. that was supposed to be the grand finale!

it’s possible, as gruesome as it is.

go ahead and swallow that puppy.

wow, you look funny.

whoooooaaaaahh, i can see you breathing!

we’re stretching the budget and moving into the realm of ridiculous.

____ has adapted her guillotine.

that internet video is nothing but science fiction.

[horrible singing and pretending to know how to play piano]

it’s weird having a job where our only tasks today are to _______ and to ________.

wow, man, i gotta tell you, with your hat off you look like a bond villain.

who cares if it makes sense? we might get to see a piano explode!

the piano is definitely on fire.

hahaha! dude, i just can’t get over how funny-looking you look on the thermal camera.

i keep thinking the little creature that pilots ____’s body is gonna pop out and run away any second now.

there’s a whole lost more that you missed that i had to suffer through.

[furious guttural screaming] SHUT UUUUUUPP!!!!!!!!!!!

[playing piano and singing] go ___! go ___! fill this piano with tnt!

in my 80s rock band, they’ll have these.

it’s one of the oldest gags in slapstick comedy!

the old “slipping on a banana peel” routine?

he’ll be blindfolded, which means gravity can take its hilarious revenge.

your mustache is all funky.

it’s time to get scientific.

well, i happen to have some animal birthing agent lying around.

that is nasty.

what’s with all the bling?

we’ve been robbing jewelry stores!

you know, if this works, in the end we could be millionaires.

csi miami makes it look so easy...

_______’s done his research.

it may not look like it, but we’re professionals.

it’s a classic seinfeld moment.

double dipping? not such a big deal. besides, what the heck is your immune system for, anyway?

what’s red and smells like blue paint? -- red paint.

that is some fabulous hair.

oh, she’s cute. she’s REALLY cute.

can i style you?

i’ve always wanted to see a high-speed shot of somebody getting smacked in the face.

almost since the invention of alcohol, people have been drinking too much.

your friends might be inclined do-- [slaps you in the face repeatedly]

shut up. leave me alone.

and there’s those people skills, hard at work.

he hung a green screen for inspiration.

the good news for his mom is that he’s still breathing.

i didn’t know it was gonna be so painful. i kinda liked it.

AAAAUUUUUUUUUGGHHGGGHHHHHGGH!!!

holy bleeping bleepity bleep!

i’m bustin’ outta here, see?

[singing the indiana jones theme]

never since that motorcycle gang, right?

i actually rode across the country in one of these things.

whatever floats your goat.

no, it’s not a prop from mad max. it’s a ____.

is this not the most disgusting thing you’ve ever seen?

it’s perforated for your convenience.

well, that was a bit of a letdown.

we broke some stuff.

the road warrior would be proud.

this place can’t hold me!

i’m bustin’ outta here, see?

even WITH seat-belts, i worry about _____.

oh, that certainly gets the juices flowing.

[maniacal laughter]

you look like you’ve done this before. have you broken out of jail before?

pretend like your life depends on it. and it kinda does.

ow. ow.

ow!!!

okay, you can stop. stop. stop!

let’s not air this in prisons.

i’m not afraid of heights, but i’m really afraid of falling.

ohmygodi’mgonnathrowup.

sheer. human. hair. strength.

physics: 1, movies: 0.

that’s some classic hollywood sleight of hand.

we need a boom.

the scary thing is, ____ already had this costume even before we needed it.

if you say so, junior.

YOU NEED TO PUT MORE FIBER IN THE DAMN FOOD!

it’s not that stupid. you’ve had stupider ideas.

i am totally convinced that ____ used as rope is a totally plausible way to escape prison.

alright, i’ll see you guys in mexico in a month.

welcome back.

you ready, old man?

we get them from the internet and movies.

oh, wait a minute-- yellow track suit? sword? we’re doing kill bill!

check out my new bulletproof vest, man!

that’s right... i’m gonna build a robot.

is this how houdini died?

we consult with experts, we take every precaution, and we have years of experience in dangerous situations.

it’s not for the faint-hearted.

there’s always room for a chicken.

today, we have a 70% chance of SCIENCE.

alright dude, time to dial up that internet modem.

the whole friggin’ thing EXPLODES!

the least of your worries is getting your socks wet.

-- and a fuse and a box of matches to set the whole thing off.

______. try saying that three times fast.

let’s face it, they’re gangsters, that’s what they do.

gunfire not being the best pickup line, i’m guessing they scared off the girls.

so that just slides around in there?

that’s all we’re doing. we’re just shooting guns. this day can’t suck.

so remember when i said we’re not _____ just for our own enjoyment, and it’s for some real scientific experimentation? well, that’s actually true.

well, i’m a little bit skeptical, and i think they’ve done something a little bit “iffy”.

don’t tell me-- what the heck! i think it’s a dud!

luckily, it is -- [smacks it with ____]-- ____ proof.

weeeewoooooweeeeewoooooweeeeewooooo!

if this works, we can expect to hear multiple gunshots at any moment.

louder.

now to investigate one more way you can hurt yourself with a handgun!

i remember it like it was yesterday...

high five!

no decapitation. definitely damage, but, yeah, it’s still there.

if you’re gonna have a handgun, make sure you know how to use it.

i’m gonna have a frankenhand for dinner.

it’s starting to smoke. is that normal?

this is why we can never have anything nice.

_____ is... it’s/they’re kind of, uh... i hate _____.

special delivery for mr. ________.

if you wanna make an omelette, you gotta break a few eggs.

does this have to do with opening windows?

i’m not nervous, i’m just a little greasy.

i think i need to go ice my face.

so THAT is what a frozen solid head should look like when it’s smashed.

aw, she looks hammered.

this is why it’s so important to always have a spare head.

where are we gonna get a hurricane?

well, the simple answer to that is florida.

OOOHHHHH WHY DID I LOOK!!! WHY DID I LOOK!!!!!

you seem chipper today.

[inhales] mmmmmm. so much better than rotting meat.

trees are two thirds water!

yeah, a nice violent mythbusters ending, i like it!

just seems wrong, shooting a christmas tree.

trees in colder climates are naturally built to not explode.

you know, i could always go into the tree-trimming business.

in a long line of lethal inventions, ____ says this is one of the most dangerous they’ve ever built.

yeah! we took out the lights! woooo!

a k.o. to the kisser put ____ down for the count.

by the way-- thank you to ____ of ____ for letting us use his socks.

in other words: this ain’t over til it’s over.

surprised? didn’t see that one coming.

strap in for a high-flying, rocket-powered, adrenaline-fueled joyride.

no guts, no glory.

we broke some stuff.

well, we may not have had hand-grenades, but at least we still have good chemistry. [winks]

excellent! i see everybody got the message.

did science REALLY save the day?

we’re gonna need one of these, only bigger.

the insurance company has said it is okay.

not only is driving a bus quite simple, it’s also a lot of fun.

[holding a motorized saw and giggling madly]

i love this bus!!!

oh, this is like stunt fantasy camp, man!

this is for glory.

HOOOOO, i cannot even tell you what an adrenaline rush that was!

we have a four-course menu of demolition and destruction.

good idea! less work for me.

melons, anyone?

which way to the destruction?

i hope no cars come crashing into my fruit stand!

but will it be hollywood spectacular?

copy that. i’m on my way.

it seems so peaceful. it’s all quiet... nothing visible... no sign of the impending doom.

here comes chaos!

this one is going to be BIG.

sexy science sells.

it’s bigger than i thought.

it’s looking like it’s been dropped from 400 feet.

anything could happen.

YEAH! WOO! THAT’S COOL!

that was more satisfying than anything we’ve done in a long time.

is everybody okay in here?

hot DAMN, i love cuttin’ steel!

this is the last link in the chain.

it’s gonna go into the waaaater.

oh, no-- no-- nonONONONONONONONO-- YES!!!

[pretending to use the force]

you mean i don’t get to drive this car?

hey, i look taller on tv.

well, there’s one way to get back at your ex.

while this may look like a half a sentence, in fact i’ve written the other half of this sentence a mile away.

the concept... is MIND-BLOWING!

that worked FREAKING PERFECTLY!

if i was a different kind of person, i’d hug you right now.

[punches your arm]

crashes AND fire? this is awesome!

he better enjoy it, ‘cause he’s not gonna have it for long.

MY TRAILERRRR!!!

this is why we can never have anything nice.

have we got a place to do this with rockets?

we gotta get one of these.

everything gets stripes! it’s all data!

i think even inanimate objects need a motivation.

there’s nothing like the smell of rocket propellant in the morning.

so what’s the point of all this, besides the pure raw fun of it?

in fact, it might even explode for all we know.

listen. it’s quiet. too quiet. it’s like the calm before the storm.

this is gonna be NUTS!

see? the desert does make people crazy.

clearly, this is not your average luxury car.

look, ma, no hands!!!

really? ‘cause you look like you’re freaking out.

we’ve kept you waiting long enough.

let’s get down to business.

i was thinking, “i’ve never seen anything going that fast”, and then i realized-- i was right. i have literally never seen anything going that fast.

“awesome” is such an overused word.

our goal was to fuse metal and pancake the car. did we achieve that? ... [gestures] what car?

if this doesn’t work? it’s pretty much game over. there is no plan c.

all those years of video games are gonna pay off now.

it’s called “explosive welding”.

now, i’m not gonna say... like luke going through the death star deck, but... IT WAS LIKE LUKE GOING THROUGH THE DEATH STAR DECK IT WENT RIGHT ACROSS THE X I’M--

i was less excited after my first kiss.

if we didn’t wreck all the cars, we wouldn’t have to walk home.

we’d be dead before we even reached the mountain.

i thought you said it was too dangerous to drive.

no, i said it was too dangerous for YOU to drive.

may they rest in pieces.

the land is shrouded in mystery and tall tales, making it the perfect habitat for _____.

i really hope we haven’t bitten off more than we can chew here.

it’s bulletproof, it’s tougher than concrete, and it takes longer than ice to melt... supposedly.

we turned it into a sno-cone!

that-- that’s bulletproof! you weren’t lying!

[thumbs-up]

it’s like i’m a freakin’ mind-reader!

let’s face it-- we’re from california. what do we know about ____?

[re-enacting lightsaber fights with icicles]

[fake sumo wrestling somebody in the snow]

i feel like i’m working in a swamp.

hey, which way to ___?

these are ___’s clothes... they still smell like her...

[wiggles fingers and makes spooky ghost noises]

it’s judgement day.

HOLY CRAP!

dude, we’ve got a leak.

why don’t you fix it?

i don’t wanna get all misty-eyed on you, but it’s a pleasure building strange crap with you.

as far as i’m concerned-- [mimes swinging a golf club and makes a click noise] -- we hit it out of the park.

it looks so damn good, i swear people are gonna think we faked it.

really? you? watching a movie? i’m kind of having a hard time picturing that.

tell me what happened, i can’t see from up here.

reality makes a crappy special effects department.

looking at this picture, the first thing i notice is that he has a mustache.

gotta love a man in uniform.

with her baby bump aerodynamics less than stellar, ___’s grounded for this one.

have fun having a baby!

bye guys! have fun in the desert!

you should always take off the parking brake before you want a car to move.

this rocket science is fun!

when did he get duct-tape underwear?

all that remains is to hit that switch.

he is looking mighty crispy.

we burnt his clothes off!

there is no way he survived that landing.

tell me everything.

... golly.

hold on to your hat.

mama like.

what’s mama got?

if you can’t see the target, how’re you gonna hit it?

do you guys realize i’ve been practicing this technique since i was eight years old?

who’s that old wanker?

oh! i can’t shake him off! oh look! some cardboard boxes! i’ll drive through those and knock him off straight away!

rain happens in the real world.

strap me in.

____: zero, ____ as a supervillain: one.

you know, a burglar kit. crowbars, hammers, stuff like that. -- you guys don’t have a burglar kit?

this always reminds me of elementary school.

tick tock, buddy. cops are on their way.

well there’s your problem.

don’t touch that.

where’s your sense of adventure?