#two points for honesty
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Walker Episode Bracket
2x08 beat out "Douglas Fir" by a surprising margin. Now it goes up against the next competitor, 2x09 "Sucker Punch"!
James is back in the office just in time for Serano's case to get bail. Everyone involved is upset about this, no one more than the Walker family that have been Seranos' target for some time. Dan is also worried as he holds evidence that could put Serano away for good- and Serano knows it. He goes to Liam for help, who reluctantly agrees to be his lawyer to keep his family safe. Things go south when Serano makes a direct threat to Dan's family and we get an unsatisfying ending to Seranos' reign of terror when he dies in a car chase. On the more lighthearted side of things, August starts a band and Colton tries (and fails) to make a move on Stella.
taglist: @ihavepointysticks
#walker#walker episode bracket#poll#fandom event#fandom fun#s02e08#two points for honesty#s02e09#sucker punch
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If thoughts all you will be, You'll be a waste of time
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two points for honesty//guster
And all the people who've seen it all before
And all the people who really understand
Know they're right, and have done it right, could I get to be like that?
I don't know what I don't know, it's harder everyday
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Ok but like, rewatching IWTV now, knowing how unreliable Louis is as a narrator and how much that unreliability is key to the story I have to wonder....did Louis eat the fucking baby?
#and did he actually fight with paul before paul fell off the roof#those two moments are from so early in the interview we're not yet taught to question his honesty but now i really am#iwtv#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#WE DON'T SEE BENNY WHEN HE BREAKS INTO THE HOUSE#DID HE EAT THAT BABY?
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Are you a
"I shook all the wrong hands at all the right times"
Or a
"And now you're in the right place at the wrong time"
Kinda Person
#idkhow#i dont know how but they found me#idkhbtfm#dallon weekes#what love?#gloomtown brats#mctalks#i just felt like pointing this out i dont know if theres a real connection or not#honesty did not expect two main themes connecting this song and that being sex#but i fuck with it i love both of them
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#thanks everyone for all the kind messages#like seriously thank you#I guess it was one of those things where I was having a really shitty week and then I came on tumblr and just the one thing set me off#and affected me way more than it usually would have#this past week was good for me though#I had three interviews and two of them were for jobs I really really want#and one of them is my dream job so hopefully I get it!#but even if I don’t… I genuinely think the interview went really good like all three of them! so I’m happy for that like#it gave me more practice#anyways with five days away I guess I made my point lmfaooooo#I was angry and upset but tbh anon hate is nothing new and it’ll keep happening sooooo#I was genuinely touched by all the sweet messages!#and also laughed at the ones which were just begging me not to leave poyt unfinished 😂😂😂 like I love the honesty there#but I laughed in a touched way bc I understand that even those asks came from a good place like the intention was good#ANYWAYS yes I was very very upset but this week went good for me so I’m in a much better place#I guess I’m going through a very rocky time irl so it’s making me more sensitive to small things that didn’t affect me before#like anon hate I mean usually I honestly find it entertaining and funny 😶😶😶#but yeah that one thing got to me but whatever!!! we move#anyways how r y’all!#I’m free this weekend so I’ll be active on here as usual hehe
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for the ask game: LILAC CHARCOAL AND RASPBERRY
anon this is so sweet 😭
[ask game provided below for reference; if you'd like to play, please reblog from OP here:]
#anon i love this but i have a covenant with God so i can't kill Him with you#this reminds me of the time my brother lamented his atheism and my agnosticism on behalf of our religious mother. but i'm not agnostic.#so i clarified i believe in God and that's never changed. i just choose not to worship Him + I think there are multiple truths (incl. gods)#which is shorthand but I've never been able to explain it to others to their satisfaction and it isn't anyone else's business anyway#he thought that was MUCH worse and became so dramatic. he was genuinely so thrown. he fixated on the fact it's heresy.#which I didn't expect because like yes it's heresy but heresy is a doctrinal concept -- it doesn't have any intrinsic meaning.#and not to be dismissive but doctrine is fairly sequestered from God. It's functionally and historically a voidable social contract.#i was involved with the church/attended various bible retreats for several years before leaving. but I didn't leave over God lmao.#my institutional involvement was always contingent on its alignment with my own individual purpose/practice/rituals/bible study/covenant.#which church/community leadership knew and tried to triage in various ways but like. it's not hard to reject authority baselessly derived.#so my present relationship with God isn't any more heretical than it was when I practiced Christianity as a religion.#If anything I was maybe more heretical in funnier and more flagrant ways when I was practicing than I am now.#but anyway. my point is.#i wont help you kill god but I'm always here for heresy.#alternatively i also recommend either (1) listening to god is dead (meet the kids) by british india#which when engaged with meaningfully amounts to the same philosophical state of being as killing God#or (2) forming a reverse orphic mystery cult relationship with Him the way I did when from ages 10-14#in other words#we can either sacrifice God to the secular age like thomas jefferson and nietzsche#or we can obsessively study the bible @ the cost of enough sleep that we (in brief spurts) access the parts of us inclined towards prophecy#those are the only two approaches to god that I'm capable of partaking in with any sincerity or intellectual honesty#and I'm unfortunately very married to sincerity and intellectual honesty.#(i'm sorry for meeting your very nice compliments with a nonsequitur illustrating why i should live as a hermit in a remote woodland shack)#(but I suppose I'm not sorry enough to remove the nonsequitur from my response prior to publication. so. take from that what you will.)
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Walker Episode Bracket
2x08 held up against 2x09 and continues to the next opponent: 2x10 "Nudge" and that's some stiff competition.
As much as we enjoyed the angst and storytelling of James getting shot in the field, 2x10 gives us the introduction of Cordell's new partner, Cassie Perez and she effortlessly won the hearts of both the audience and the Walker family in just one episode.
Taglist: @ihavepointysticks
#walker#walker episode bracket#poll#fandom event#fandom fun#s02e08#two points for honesty#s02e10#nudge
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cks was making a cameo in my dream and then my alarm woke me up, so. well. okay.
#[art]#[2023]#cks#specifically it was just two still images of them but it was at the very end#had my silly outfit and all its piercings... plus ones I never gave them before? odd.#so I wanted to entertain the ''actors au'' idea but in all honesty they wouldn't make it much beyond a bonus background actor or dancer#(for musicals); they'd forget their lines so often it'd just be a hassle#usually casted as goons/minions/characters that follow someone of authority/in power#height helps; unintentional intimidation factor at times...#pretty unknown! like the rest. except cpn who's well-known for his looks (and acting to back it up)#something something... gestures. a scientist and their creation made of parts and through illegal means#of which someone (swt) is chasing said suspects down except it's hard to exactly realize [cks] is the creation in question at first#so it has that internal conflict as the film goes on of like. ough. aren't they [human] at this point? and ough. illegally made. but ough.#didn't ask to be made. trope of -> creation will not mind if it has to be dismantled and its creator would go through hell to Not let that#happen out of love and. anyways I'm not going to explain the synopsis of the actual plot they play (was kept kind of unknown due to failed#marketing) but i do think they should get to know each other behind the scenes#and something etcetera any homoerotic or romantic scenes they play together Stop being just acting but Oh g-d they cannot confess that.#they're just work colleagues...!! and then there's an ''i love you'' scene and it's all#this is getting too long. bye
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I was today years old when I figured out what the term Sona meant.
I’m pretty sure it’s persona, guys. Don’t worry ‘bout me, I’m just dumb sometimes.
#and yeah I’ll be making one#codsona#once I figure out how and what it entails#alex and hype bullied me into it with their affection#I’m pissed about it /hj#because now I’ve got something ELSE to do#on top of the two fics I decided to juggle#but in all honesty#this freight train of creativeness can take me out#I don’t care#I’m so glad and relieved to be feeling creative again#it got bleak there for a minute few months ago#but that’s beside my point#point is: sona incoming eventually#it’s second priority to the fics#especially the#toxic soapghost fic#crisis out because she’s talking too much and no one cares#much love <3
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#tag talk#anytime my friends point out that something I say is good advice or express that they see me as aspirational I'm always just like....#wtf how am I am example to look up to I'm just an idiot bumbling his way through life trying to avoid hitting her head on cabinet corners#honestly it's mostly just seeing mistakes others have made and going “I will not make those mistakes. I will make weirder mistakes than that#like. it feels a little like the “I'm eighty years old I'm done with putting up with everyone's bullshit” except it's#it's “I didn't kill myself so I'm not gonna put up with bullshit anymore”#like. I chose life. I'm not about to half-ass that decision. I'm not gonna walk back that decision. I'm not going to flinch away from it.#that fuckin... “what do we have to fear but fear itself” quote or whatever. like.. I died. you think anything else is gonna scare me?#if I'm going to be stuck here on this planet you bet your ass I'm gonna make the most of it. I'm not gonna be embarrassed. no shame.#we're all living here until we die and the things that matter are your own life and then the people around you.#I'm not going to miss out on a chance to find community and connection just because I'm afraid. I'm done being afraid.#though... I have been feeling shrimp emotions for the past two weeks and my stomach has tied itself up in knots over it.#I'm so detached because I'm afraid of feeling my emotions too strongly. so letting go and experiencing emotions is a lot for me.#and agghfffgghh I'm going to make it through this I'm going to make it through this but damn it's really rough#allowing yourself to get close to someone again after solidifying your position as unassailable is so hard.#especially because I've gotten so used to shielding the emotions of other people. hard to be honest when your honesty will hurt them#it's wild being around someone who's not wildly insecure because I can be genuine and honest and not worry about what I say hurting her.#I could say “I'm leaving in a year do you still want to date?” and trust that she would actually think it through and give a reliable answer#like. I can handle just my emotions because she's able to handle hers.#being in mental health spaces for so long I'm not used to interacting with emotionally stable people lmaooo#do you think I'm emotionally stable? I don't think I am. but then I meet other people who are wildly more unstable than I am and hmmm#like. sui wasn't an emotional choice it was a cost benefit analysis. I get emotionally unstable sure. but I contain myself until it's over.#I know enough to not be impulsive because I recognize impulsive behavior in others and thus in myself as well.#so like. I'm unstable but I'm not externally unstable. I know how to isolate when I'm in a wounded lashing out state.#anyway I've been processing so many emotions this past week because I'm wildly out of practice with allowing myself emotional honesty#instead of just bricking myself up behind my defensive apathy. I want to hold onto this. I want to continue to channel these emotions.#I want to be unafraid to tell people when I love them#though with her it's more of a Nerevarine situation. you are not someone I love but rather someone who might become that.#like. I haven't known her long enough to really say I love. but I very much think if things continue how they are I will be confident in it#and not even romantic love per se. I have some old friends who I genuinely love. several siblings who I love. most people I know I do not.
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“I hope you're all listening, I'm pouring out my heart for paper, a part of me still believes that love is all I'm really after” is such a soulcrushing lyric actually
#love it when artists make the creation of art and its cost a part of said art#especially when they focus on the contradictions. yes you are being vulnerable. but is it an expression of yourself or is it a#subconscious cry for attention? can you even really know the difference between the two? when you're constantly praised if you are 'real' or#'honest' doesn't the honesty itself become an act at some point. a part of the product.#anyway. i launch my fragrance called integrity i sell the fact that i can't be bought. you know how it goes
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while i'm complaining about men, I just got told in a slightly passive-aggressive tone by a man i've known for less than 5 months that "clearly, validating people's feelings is not my strongest suit" because I told him as kindly as I could that while he can call me when he's having panic attack, there's no real guarantee that i'm gonna be available and even less guarantee that i'm gonna be able to comfort him in whatever way in need, especially if he need any type of physical comfort and I'm just sitting there like...You know what my dude, if that's gonna make you get over your annoying ass desire to hug me then feel free to assume that i'm actually even meaner than that, imagine me as the world biggest bitch all you want, i'm fine with it
#dude was clearly already annoyed with me because i didn't agree with whom on two things he was complaining about#not gonna go in details because he deserves some privacy tbh#but i will say that no i'm not gonna pretend to believe that someone is always right just because they have mental health issues#i always try to see someone's point of view in a situation but i'm also very much the friend who will tell you if i think you're wrong#a lot of people claim to want that kind of honesty in their life but when it means being told that they were wrong it's suddently bad#anyway ok bro i have no emotional intelligence i'm cold and distant and i can't be your primary support now can you chill?#that's gonna sound so fucking mean but sometimes i wonder why he even bother with therapy#like if you need that much validation from a random girl you barely know what do you pay this fucker for???#anyway let's hope he got the hint that no i'm not gonna pretend to be his best friend when i barely know him nor his mom nor his gf
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#personal#how’s my birthday going? stayed up all night cleaning and fixing old furniture#and then a two hour interval of driving aimlessly and listening to so much for star dust while screaming#anyway so sleeping btw still sick and my mom calls me bc she needs something driven to her right at that moment in order to get my dad back#so i’m pretty pissed but not at anyone but she’s like aware#anyway i pull up and my mom hugs me and keeps apologizing about my birthday#and then after i’m like it’s no one’s fault it just is what it is she’s like#i don’t say this often but i expect too much of you because i’m comparing you to myself#and in all honesty? ur a great daughter and a decent human being#then corrected herself and said im the best daughter bc i could have told them all to fuck off#anyway we got my dad back and i spent the whole car ride following my folks while crying bc he’s just as bad#i heard my mom mutter this is a mistake#the place was over drugging him so we really didn’t have a choice but also hm. retreating into my mind forever#and i’m so bad even my moms telling me i have to eat at some point
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