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untitledtallgeesepodcast · 3 years

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[TRANCRIPT] EPISODE 14: ROAD TRIP (NO APOLOGIES)

Cathy 00:03

Hello and welcome back to Untitled Tallgeese Podcast, a podcast where four old friends rewatch and discuss Gundam Wing. I am Cathy, your moderator for this episode, and I am joined as always, by Kat, Mallory, and Caitlin. If you have been following along, you know that this week's episode — Episode 27, Locus of Victory and Defeat and Episode 28, Passing Destinies — are recap episodes, following the unofficial Season Finale from last time. As mentioned previously, we will be spending the bulk of this episode discussing a topic near and dear to all of our hearts, Gundam Wing fanfic from the early 2000ish through the lens of one very special fic, Road Trip by Sunhawk. But first, there isn't a lot to talk about that's new in episodes 27 and 28, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention two bits of new information we got. First, that Relena has switched wardrobes, and is now in a Sanc Kingdom school uniform. And she no longer is informing Heero that he needs to come over here and kill her but rather to return to her, echoing Quatre's telepathic insight into Heero's Golden Aura from the end of Episode 26. And second, Treize is now being placed under house arrest by the Romefeller Foundation for his speech in front of Duke Dermail. At the end of Episode 28 we see that he's not alone in house arrest, but rather joined by a ghostly Lady Une still in her peaceful ambassador outfit, who joins Treize, as he looks at blueprints of yet another mysterious Gundam-like mobile suit on his laptop, which spoiler alert, is Epyon. I think, you know, these are interesting episodes. And Caitlin, I know you had something to say about the way the recaps are done in 27 and 28.

Caitlin 01:45

Yeah, I think that it's really interesting how they, I mean, that new information comes to us via these framing narratives, where you have Relena, and a little bit Heero, and then Treize narrating everything that's happened to them. So we get a Relena narration where she's much more strongly identifying herself as the ruler of the Sanc Kingdom. And then we get a Treize narration that links together a lot of his dubious political thought, in the midst of his defeat.

Kat 02:18

It felt like the first time we really understood like, exactly what Lady Une thought his politics were, or his plans were and how he changed those plans, like explicitly.

Cathy 02:29

Yes, there was this moment where he reflects on the beauty of where he is trapped, which I believe is the Luxembourg base, but I don't know if they ever say that. And he articulates it as if to say, "this is what I wanted to preserve. This is what I joined OZ thinking it was to preserve," and then traces his change in thought, which I don't remember that ever coming through necessarily. What he thought he was doing originally before he became the Treize that we know.

Kat 02:56

Cathy, I did want to say that it felt like Treize was really reciting from your theory of anime from last episode when he talks about these "warriors with rebellious wings," and how their like purity of spirit completely changed his life.

Cathy 03:12

Yes, I love it. I felt like [laughter]--

Mallory 03:15

Yeah, I wrote, "Cathy! strong wills, what purity! theory of anime!" in my notes. So there you go.

Caitlin 03:22

Now we have to address the possibility that Cathy is Treize. Treize was God, he was Hannibal, and now he's Cathy.

Cathy 03:28

It does, I think, speak to why I've always found Treize a really fascinating character, even if I think he is a huge asshole, and none of his ideas make any sense. But you know, I am always drawn to this idea of people who, and I think I phrased it as "get sucked into other people's deranged orbits?" and Treize is both a person who creates a deranged orbit around himself [laughter] and also gets sucked into the orbit of the Gundam pilots, so I do love that about him.

Caitlin 03:56

Interesting. That explains a lot about you, but also makes me understand Treize a little bit better framing him that way.

Kat 04:03

I know you're sick of her but I did like that Une finally figured out the soul of OZ, that the purpose of battles isn't limited to making ideals into reality.

Mallory 04:11

Since you brought it up... why does Treize refer to her as like, my love? Or beloved? He says, "Lady Une, my love, rest in peace." So is the show trying to make me believe that Treize has feelings for Lady Une?

Kat 04:26

Is it just awkward writing?

Caitlin 04:28

I think it's just awkward writing but also kind of that. I think the dub at least -- and I only listened to the dub this time -- decided that Treize was in love with her and is going with that.

Kat 04:39

Both of these episodes felt very much like, "Hey, remember this heterosexual pairing?"

Cathy 04:44

Yes! And I remember one time we talked about whether or not this show actually ships heterosexual pairings or just, they thought they were but they're just so horrible at writing heterosexual romances [laughter] that everything comes off really strange and this is definitely an example of that. Like, I could see both sides of this, that we are supposed to believe that Treize had romantic feelings for Lady Une and then it just was written so poorly because nobody on the show has met a real woman before. [laughter] Or, and I guess this would be my interpretation, it isn't that he is like romantically interested in her or was in love with her. But she was very important to him and represented, you know, one of the people that I think he wielded the biggest influences on and that touches him deeply. And her quote unquote, fate being that she is, quote unquote, dead at the end of Episode 26 weighs heavily on him.

Caitlin 05:40

But she's not dead. [laughing] Why does he say it? I know that in the episode, it's meant to be a fake out like, Oh, we know, we saw Lady Une die. And then Treize is talking to her as though she's dead so it's really not until the very end of episode 28 that we get the reveal that she's alive. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Cathy 05:59

So let's address fake outs because there are characters talking in episodes 27 and 28, and I'm not sure if we are supposed to believe that they're talking at the time of the flashback footage being shown to us, or afterwards, right now, in the world of Episode 28.

Kat 06:16

I think Relena's was the only narration that actually seems like 100% anchored to what we were looking at. So... like Treize definitely we hear his earlier thoughts at the beginning and then he explains how they've changed, but with Heero it's just sort of like A, and then B.

Mallory 06:34

Right, when Heero in Episode 27 says, "I don't consider the other Gundam pilots my comrades, I've never had comrades from the start," I have no idea if this narration is trying to tell me that Heero at this point in time currently, after Episode 26, does not believe the Gundam pilots are his friends. Or if he's referring to how he felt back then.

Caitlin 07:00

I under-understood that as definitely he's talking about that point in the flashback.

Cathy 07:05

It is kind of thrown out there. And it seems like by now he would have had so much interaction with these guys, especially at least with Trowa, that it would be kind of wild for him to say that [laughing]

Caitlin 07:18

He considers Trowa his comrade boyfriend, y'know? [cat meows in background]

Mallory 07:20

It was making me laugh because we've been reading this fic, this road trip arc. And it's kind of incredible how much this arc -- and we'll talk about this -- how much this arc and formed my idea of what the Gundam pilots' relationships were or like, their, their relationship dynamics or that they /had/ relationships with each other. So when I read all these fic, I was thinking like, "Wow, I didn't see any of this coordination in the show. Like there are no safe houses in the episodes that I watched. Oh, that like, it's okay, that must have come later." And now I'm later in the series, [laughing] and I'm finding out that actually, they interact very tangentially for the most part, where I was imagining a lot more camaraderie as the episodes progressed.

Kat 08:11

I know in Episode Zero, you were really distraught to learn that it's not like, "let's all five meet up and team up!" ...

Mallory 08:19

Yeah!

Kat 08:19

...kind of anime

Mallory 08:21

I mean, I'm really enjoying where it's going now. And I enjoy the sort of bits of relationships that we're getting and the ways that their personalities bounce off each other. And that's what makes, that's what makes Gundam Wing such a rich field to mine for fic, because you get all of these like, glimpses of what these characters could be to each other, within the canon of the show. And it's really easy for writers like Sunhawk to kind of just like, take them and run.

Cathy 08:52

Yes, so let's talk about Road Trip by Sunhawk. Road Trip is part of a larger, 17 part series called the Road Trip Arc by its fans. We are going to be talking mostly about just the first installment -- which is actually barely shippy. Like there are hints of the relationship that will come to be especially the 1x2 part of it. And the rest of the series is very staunchly 1x2 with background 3x4, question mark with Wufei, which I'd really love to talk about later. But at least in the first part, it's kind of more of a, I don't know if action story is the right word... You know, it starts at some unspecified time in the canon. Heero and Duo are escaping a mission that is kind of going south. They land on earth, on a beach. Heero is badly injured, Duo is you know, kind of beat up but is still mostly functional. You know, he's not internally bleeding and concussed, which is what Heero is. So he's forced to drive them to safety, and eventually to a rendezvous point where the idea is that Quatre and the others will pick them up. But when they get there OZ is basically hot on their heels. So Duo is able to leave Heero, basically in secluded cover, but he has to redirect OZ's attention, which gets him into more trouble. And he almost essentially drowns. So exhausted, pummeled within an inch of his life, he limps his way back to a safe house, again, unspecified location, or why he knows that that thing is there, but whatever, where all the rest of the pilots are staying at. So that's Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Heero's already in the hospital, you know, Duo basically passes out. He's given immediate medical attention, including drugs that cause him to lash out and nearly kill everybody around him. But finally, Heero, near death himself, manages to sneak out of his hotel--hospital room to sit by Duo's side, which calms Duo down and the fic ends with them having this really cute exchange about Duo's IVs. So I did want to talk about the landscape of fanfic reading at this time, before we really dive deep into Road Trip itself. Do you guys have any memories, you know, or impressions of what it was like at the time when you first started reading Gundam Wing fanfic?

Caitlin 11:12

I remember that... I'm pretty sure I read this fic on a site that had either an all black background with white text; a sepia tinted background, that was like, you know, like a light, brownish, and then like a sort of off gray text. Because back in 2000, the only HTML any of us knew was how to change background color and how to change font color. You could put one image... They had gifs back then. And I don't, that's probably why my eyes are bad now. [laughter]

Kat 11:45

Yeah, it was either like very weirdly colored websites or really, really intensely over-styled websites, where it like, it's a little pop up and it's butterfly-shaped.

Mallory 11:58

Yeah. And there's like glitter and sparkles when you move your mouse and stuff. I didn't have fast like, I didn't get DSL until really late, like I was a senior in high school. So all of these websites just like crashed our internet constantly. [laughing] It was, it was hard for me to read those kinds of archives and stuff.

Caitlin 12:22

The point here is that these fics were hosted on like, a bunch of different sites. And it was just small, privately run, I guess you could say archives, like it's like it's one person who wants to save all the Gundam Wing fic in the world. Which is actually why we have Road Trip preserved on AO3, Archive of Our Own, which is that it's part of the Open Doors Project where a archivist by the name of Dacia used to run a site called A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, she was really into Duo. She read pretty much every Duo pairing if I recall correctly, like she was really into like all Duo pairings and she started collecting fic from various places where like, she-she wanted to curate like the best fic in her mind. So she would like ask authors, "Oh, can I host this on my site too?" after finding the fic other places and so she collected a bunch of, a bunch of fic. And as probably a lot of us know, Archive of Our Own, which is run by the Organization for Transformative Works, has a program called Open Doors where they will import archives that are closing, fanfiction archives that are closing, or that the maintainers just don't want to maintain anymore. So they maintain, they import them wholesale from the original archive and put them on Archive of Our Own.

Kat 13:49

It's pretty great because there are tons of fic from that time period that I wish I could remember or find or go back and to be able to like even search stuff on AO3 that was on those is great.

Cathy 14:02

So we've talked about this before, but that's where Gundam Wing Addiction is actually pretty funny because they did rescue some of these sites. You know, we talked about the Izumi Fountain District with Alexe Cinz stuff last time, but they also rescued, I want to say it's Lev or Levwolf or something like that?

Kat 14:23

Leviathan's Lair.

Cathy 14:25

The-the Leviathan's Lair. There we go.

Kat 14:26

Ooh, I remember this site. Wow--

Mallory 14:28

Yeah

Kat 14:28

Looking at this site is like getting slapped in the face.

Cathy 14:31

Yeah, I definitely read a lot of fic on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, which I remember had a lot of text that was like accent text in orange [laughter]. And one of my favorite authors. well, they were an author pair, TB and Marsh, they were hosted on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, that's where I first discovered them. But same thing with Sunhawk, who wrote two really famous series you know, Road Trip is the first one -- and in my memory, the more famous one although I think some people might say it's the Ion Arc, which I really don't remember anymore.

Kat 15:06

No, like reading Road Trip -- it's sort of like if I didn't read Road Trip, I read a bunch of fics like it, but the Ion Arc doesn't really ring a bell.

Cathy 15:15

Ok, yeah. So it was also the one that was easiest to talk about because the first part of Ion isn't really meaty enough, I think to talk about whereas Road Trip, the first installment is almost perfectly self-encompassing of a lot of stuff. In terms of dates, you know, I cannot find a definitive date of when Sunhawk first wrote and posted Road Trip, the first archive I could find that was still crawled by Web Archive, thank you Web Archive, was from November 2001 on Steelsong, who was another moderator of a large network of websites, a lot of which were Gundam Wing websites and specifically had their own Gundam Wing fanfic archive. By the time that Steelsong had put Sunhawk on their site, which was some time around November 2001, Sunhawk had already written much of Road Trip, she had already written the first six installments, which is a lot of fic. And at that time, at least in 2001, 2002, Sunhawk was writing Road Trip concurrently with Ion. My suspicion is that Sunhawk probably first wrote this on a mailing list, you know, the 1x2 mailing list was a really popular one at the time, and so maybe it was that she first started there and then later got into the archives. But this would mean that Sunhawk probably started writing Gundam Wing fic right after Gundam Wing's run on Toonami in 2000. So another thing I did want to point out is that we are really lucky now that Gundam Wing is available on streaming on Hulu, that there's all these wiki sites that we could basically find all the information we would want. It's possible that Sunhawk did not actually have a way to fact check anything that she was writing at the time. And so you know, one thing I did want to talk about with the fic was this indeterminate canon timeline issue, I don't know when in the series, this was supposed to happen. You know, Deathscythe is called Deathscythe. Much later in the series, Wufei's Gundam is referred to as Altron, which is his second Gundam. But we don't ever get this kidnapping phase that happens in the fic. So I don't know. But then again, I realized when I was Sunawk in 2001, how was she supposed to have checked that? Right?

Kat 17:29

I think also, nobody gave a shit back then. [laughs]

Mallory 17:32

Yeah. Like, it's also sort of like, did it really matter to your enjoyment? Like, you have all the elements of the Gundam Wing pilots and them interacting and the shipping, and like, it doesn't really matter what canon we're supposed to be in because we're already out of, outside of canon.

Kat 17:52

I feel like there were only like two timelines for fic and it was basically like pre-Endless Waltz and then post-Endless Waltz. I never really felt like, even though there's definitely a definitive plot split between, like, from all the episodes we've seen, and all the episodes we're about to see, I never really felt like fic did.

Caitlin 18:12

It's, it's sort of an interesting question in like Film Studies, where, you know, up until VHS, there was no way to really rewatch a movie that you were writing about. So a lot of film criticism and film theory was written by people who had only like, watched the movie once. So there's, it's kind of like a pathology we have nowadays that we can rewatch everything over and over again, so we can get this sort of like perfect timeline, this perfect like, sense of a film. Whereas in the past, like nobody ever watched anything like that. And there are, there are some film theorists nowadays who's still argue for that as like the true model of cinema, though obviously, that's much less prominent now. That, that gets into my whole idea of fanfic as a form of like interpretation, like fanfic is like a type of criticism of the original series.

Kat 19:01

Yeah, absolutely. And the thing that people wanted more of in Gundam Wing was gay shit and safe houses.

Mallory & Caitlin 19:08

Yeah.

Caitlin 19:09

And it's and it's easy to just like put that in. Like reading Road Trip, I wasn't thinking too much about like, where does this fit in the timeline because who cares?

Cathy 19:16

This is a first person POV fic, which in my mind now is pretty rare for big fanfics to be first person POV. But you, Mallory, had noted how much this voice sounded like the dub Duo voice.

Mallory 19:30

Yeah, she has gotten Duo's voice down. [laughs] I think it's just the slang that she kind of throws in there, the sort of casual way that Duo thinks and speaks feels very "of the show." Like I hear Scott McNeil's voice in my head [laughs] reading her fic is how good I think it is. Like there's like a cheesy earnestness in the dialogue of both the show and the fic that I think like works really well and is like really charming.

Caitlin 20:05

And I think that, so I think Duo's voice is very well established and it is at least, I only read the first two parts, but in the second part which is Heero's first person point of view, Duo's dialogue lines are also very strongly Scott McNeil-esque, I felt. I think Heero's voice is a little bit less distinct. One of my struggles with these fics was like, does this read as Heero to me? Like I really wasn't sure. And I'll say with regards to the first person point of view, maybe this gets us on to a different topic, but there are so many things about this fic where if I opened a fic like this now in 2020, I would hit I would hit the back button so hard.

Cathy 20:48

No, I want to talk about this, this is a great topic. I love this.

Caitlin 20:51

So I would never read something with this much violence. I'd always be like, what I don't want to read that, I don't want to read Duo getting beaten up or tortured, or whatever.

Mallory & Kat 21:00

Oh! [laughter]

Caitlin 21:02

I know! I like, I don't, I don't read that sort of fic these days. Like I don't read whump, the ancient genre of whump. [laughs]

Kat 21:10

Oh, whump I guess is like a ancient genre but an everlasting genre to me.

Caitlin 21:15

Yes.

Kat 21:15

Cathy, when you were trying to classify this fic, I was thinking, "this is definitely whump, pre-slash."

Mallory & Caitlin & Cathy 21:21

Yes, yes. Yes.

Mallory 21:22

At least part one is pre-slash.

Kat 21:24

Yeah

Caitlin 21:25

And I would never read something like that these days... Like if it was, it was tagged pre-slash, rated M, and I be like, "but how can it be rated M if they don't have sex?" I'd be like, "no, there's got to be some other reason for this to be rated M, I can't handle it. I need to go back." Like I would hit the back button so hard. And I'd be wrong because this fic is really good.

Kat 21:47

It definitely feels from, from an older time~

Cathy 21:50

Yes, I agree. And I second everything Caitlin said. This fic was surprisingly readable and I know that sounds like a backhanded compliment but what I mean is, I didn't expect it to still sound as good and like something I would see someone write now, but it is. It's still really good, you know the voices are really good, the dialogue are really, is really good. But everything about it screams back button. Like I hated Quatre and Trowa even in this fic. [laughing]

Caitlin 22:19

Oh my god, oh my god [laughter]

Cathy 22:20

[laughter] Even though they do nothing, I hated them. Outside of Gundam Wing I did not ever read whump or hurt/comfort fic, you know, this was just not a genre that I was ever interested in. In Gundam Wing it was almost unavoidable?

Kat 22:33

I was gonna say there's no way [crosstalk]

Cathy 22:34

because of the plot [crosstalk] So you kind of had to--

Kat

especially if you like Duo--

Cathy

Especially if you liked Duo! And then of course all of the little fandom tropes that kill me now about the fic might actually have not yet been as deeply entrenched in fanon at the time she was writing as they are now but--

Caitlin 22:51

True

Cathy 22:51

Certainly now when I read it, I'm like, well, there's the safe house.

Mallory 22:55

Yeah, it's like a checklist almost. Like oh, there's that mention of Duo's hair smelling like sandalwood,

Cathy 23:02

Yes!

Caitlin 23:02

Why sandalwood?

Mallory 23:03

It was always sandalwood and it was always Duo. Duo's hair always smelled like sandalwood..

Kat 23:08

I mean it might be this fic though, like this is The the fic, the landscape of fic reading and stuff, there was just less of it and like the people who are into it are like really spending time to find it and stuff. We're talking about different archives, I read like everything on 1x2x1--

Mallory 23:10

Mmhmm

Kat 23:10

Uh wing-- Shinigami and Wing like and so I think it was like, fanon still coalesces pretty fast now but I think because there's less access to source material too it's like so much easier for it to grow like this, just sort of permeate the entire fandom, not just one pairing.

Mallory 23:48

Yeah, I mean like Kat you were saying earlier you may not have read this particular fic but you have definitely read 10 or 15 other ones that are very similar to it in terms of what you can expect from the action and the characters and the pairings.

Kat 24:04

Duo is gonna get hurt. Heero is gonna be angry over something that he doesn't need to be angry about. Trowa is gonna to be a calm head, Quatre's the kind heart. Wufei I like in this because he's like the friend, the bro, instead of the standoffish fifth guy.

Mallory 24:19

Yeah,

Kat 24:19

so that's nice--

Caitlin 24:20

Yeah. Wufei good in this but he has a better like,

Kat 24:25

Rapport?

Caitlin 24:25

He has more rapport with Duo than Heero does [laughter]

Mallory 24:28

Yes. I was going to say--

Caitlin 24:31

I'm sure we were all in on this but I was side shipping Duo and Wufei a lot. Wufei gave him a bath!

Mallory & Kat 24:38

Wufei gets him!

Cathy 24:40

Do you guys, can I spoil something about the rest of the Road Trip arc?

Caitlin 24:43

Yes!

Mallory & Kat 24:44

Yeah.

Cathy 24:45

So I okay. And I will first give readers this warning, if you do want to read the rest of the installments of Road Trip, there are warnings on AO3 but I must add that there is a significant part of Duo's backstory that deals with rape and trauma and especially rape of Duo when he was very under age so--

Caitlin 25:10

This also something that would be auto back button for me.

Cathy 25:13

Yeah so I have to I have to put in that disclaimer because I don't want people wandering into the rest of the story. Road Trip the first installment is fine but the rest of the story this is, this is a big part of his character so please don't read it if it is triggering. But one thing about Wufei is you find out later he actually has a BIG honkin' crush on Duo and he is almost always--

Mallory 25:36

I must have read this.

Caitlin 25:37

Nooooo!

Cathy 25:37

He is almost always there basically like helping like pick Duo up and like--

Caitlin 25:43

no [crosstalk] this is too sad!

Cathy 25:43

Supplements this like emotional stuff that like Heero doesn't get because Heero has a bad problem

Caitlin 25:49

[agonized] Noooo--

Cathy 25:49

in Road Trip of like treating Duo as like too fragile which pisses Duo off

Kat

That was a common dynamic.

Cathy

He comes to this like realization that he's like really in love with Duo but then he has to shelve it because he realizes that Duo and Heero are soulmates? And so he like, he says he'll be a friend forever and he gives like do this plush dragon. And then the whole thing is it's set up to be eventually a Wufei and Sally Po story? But the very last installment -- that is part 16 of the 16 part series -- is essentially a story where Duo has an anxiety freak out while Heero's away. He calls Wufei over to his apartment, they spend a night together completely platonically. Duo realizes that Wufei is like eaten up inside by something that Wufei won't tell Duo about. And it's like this crush, which all of us know because we all read the part with the Wufei point of view, but like Duo didn't get the memo.

Mallory

Oh my god?

Kat

I picked up on this and I only read one chapter.

Caitlin

I can't handle this.

Cathy

So he's not sure what's happening. And that at the very end, you know, Wu Fei is like basically telling Duo that he doesn't want to start dating Sally Po because he's afraid of like, basically something that like, and he phrases it in a way that makes Duo think he's talking about his former dead wife, but it's actually about Duo. [crosstalk: No!] And Duo says to him, you have to let the past go. And so then Wufei does and call Sally up for a date.

Kat

Okay, that plush dragon thing just lit up eight synapses.

Caitlin

I hate this.

Kat

I have read this fic, 100%.

Caitlin 25:57

It's possible that this is why I got into 2x5.

Cathy 27:32

So I just had to add this here because like, I truly felt the same way. Like I shipped Wufei and Duo was so hard and the more Heero like became this like, super protective like... I like this story, but I don't buy it as Heero characterization. Like I don't think Heero was very convincing. But I do find Duo and Wufei very convincing in the series. [laughs]

Caitlin 27:51

Yeaaah.

Kat 27:51

I think this is a big problem with a lot of Heero fanon characterization at the time, though, because like the logical conclusion of the fanon characterization of Heero is just a huge asshole nobody wants to date. [laughs] When the Toonami series aired, it was like a ton of 1x2. That was it. It was like 1x2, 3x4 blah, blah but I think as fanon crystallized like pairing diversity also increased.

Caitlin 28:17

Yeah, the thing is that I'm fine reading fanfic between assholes that nobody would want to date. That is, tends to be the type of fanfic that I read anyway.

Kat 28:27

Look, I get that.

Caitlin 28:27

So Heero being terrible is fine. The problem is that this fic characterizes him as less terrible than he seems to actually be?

Mallory 28:36

Mmm.

Caitlin 28:36

Like, I don't think Heero is this, I don't think he's this protective. I don't think he's this in tune with his feelings. Part Two, really, like, as some of you might know, I never read established relationship fic, so I wasn't going to continue past Part Two anyway. Even though they have a lot of problems, I'm just like, all right, they already confessed their feelings. I'm not interested anymore. But I just found it really hard to believe that Heero would be able to confess his feelings or even like, recognize love, emotions, or romance that early on.

Kat 29:10

It's the combined problem of he's an asshole who no one would want a date and the fic is still trying to convince me that him and Duo are like really great together in general. So I wrote a lot of Gundam Wing fic in middle school, so I consumed so much of it on [laughing] fanfiction.net and the characterization ended up getting really, really far removed even further removed than this fic from the actual show, I guess.

Cathy 29:35

So one thing I did want to point out, it's less obvious in Part One, but becomes increasingly obvious as you move through this arc is the total lack or mention of Relena Peacecraft. And, and I mean it, she is not mentioned once in this entire fic, which is odd because it goes from middle of the canon through until the post-Endless Waltz and then [laughter] seven to eight years, and seven to eight years after--

Mallory 30:05

Wow

Cathy 30:05

the end of Endless Waltz, which, and again at by the end of this fic series, spoilers, Duo, Wufei, and Heero all work for the Preventers. So it seems very [laughter] weird that none of them would interact with Relena. So like I did--

Caitlin 30:14

It seems like they would run into Relena sometime [laughter].

Cathy 30:21

I did want to open the floor to talk about Relena Peacecraft and her place in Gundam Wing fanfic.

Kat 30:29

Well, so either you're a het shipper so you're, you're, you're doing fine, your Heero is probably very different. [laughter]

Caitlin 30:41

Wait, let's let's be clear that there were a lot of het shippers

Kat 30:44

Yes.

Caitlin 30:44

And they still are there. There was a lot of het shipping in the Japanese fandom too. I think Heero and Relena were popular.

Kat 30:51

Duo and Hilde.

Caitlin 30:53

And the official media that came out was like, oh Duo and Hilde. And, oh Heero and Relena.

Cathy 30:58

Yeah.

Kat 30:59

Relena and fanfiction so you're a het -- you could be a het shipper, so then she's in it a lot.

Mallory

Or you hate her and she's a monster and she's the the thing standing between Heero and Duo falling in love or being together, which I feel like I read a lot of.

Kat 31:15

She could be shipping them but that was way more rare I thought and then like just not having her around.

Caitlin 31:22

So like, from the perspective of the contemporary moment, it looks bad to just not write Relena at all in your 300,000 word fic about characters who talk to Relena all the time. Like it seems bad

Kat 31:38

But!

Caitlin 31:39

but she was so controversial that I could see like I can see the logic of just not including her.

Kat 31:45

And as a reader I, I often preferred that she just kind of not be there be like very peripheral over... like I think at the beginning I really enjoyed the like Relena hating because there's just very viscerally satisfying, but later on, I was like, hmmm.

Caitlin 32:01

The other option is like, write a explainer about why your Heero in your fic doesn't love Relena, he only loves Duo. It just becomes, like, tedious to write that every single fic.

Cathy 32:15

One thing that I was digging up was a lot of Relena hate sites. And one thing we had talked about in past episodes was kind of like hating her because she was this rich girl, she had this entourage, we couldn't really relate to her. And there was a lot of that in why people expressed why they hated Relena. Like she was spoiled. She had everything. She was obsessed with Heero and so she definitely like wanted him as one of her belongings kind of thing? So I think it is one of those moments where now that I've read a lot more other types of Gundam Wing fanfic that I wasn't reading at that time that have, I think, much more interesting Relena characterization, and much more I think realistic ideas about what Heero and Relena's relationship would be like. I think, "God I was so stupid!" but I feel that same way about like everything I was into, right? [laughs] So like, it is kind of humbling and also funny.

Mallory 33:14

Like reading this fic it's about as comforting as like finding your favorite High School sweater, you know, in the back of your closet when you're visiting home and putting it on and finding out it still fits. And it's because it sort of hits all of those familiar tropes that I remember reading, like the use of "Gods" is like--

Kat 33:32

Yes!

Mallory 33:33

punch in the face.

Caitlin 33:34

Why does everyone say gods?

Mallory 33:36

Yes.

Cathy

Everybody!

Mallory 33:37

Okay, and I don't remember, like I remember this being a thing in Gundam Wing fic I don't remember why--

Caitlin 33:43

[crosstalk] Duo was American and was raised in a—

Cathay

[laughing] Catholic!

Caitlin

Catholic. Why would he say Gods?

Kat 33:48

[crosstalk] Yeah Duo would never.

Cathy 33:49

I kind of get maybe the idea of why others would do it if this became like a post colony thing but certainly not Duo.

Kat 33:57

In like middle school. I was always wondering like, "oh, what kind of weird event happened in the future that made everybody until like a polytheist?" [laughter] Like, what kind of world building is this?

Mallory 34:07

Yeah, I thought that there had to be like a reason or is there a rule?

Caitlin 34:12

I kind of thought that just like the people writing fanfic at the time tended to be like pagans. Like, like, that was fine. And they and they were pushing their pagan agenda by having everybody say gods.

Cathy 34:22

No, I, I, 100. That's 100% my theory.

Caitlin 34:25

that's what I think it is.

Cathy 34:26

So I mean, Sunhawk was one of the older writers at the time, but I think a lot of the people who were archivists and writers at the time were older, she was probably at least I want to say in her 30s. They're usually older, some of them are Wiccan or pagan and a lot of them were very interested in like education and sort of like bringing up the younger members of the fandom. So Sunhawk specifically, like had a personality who was like very educational? I'm not saying that that's why she did particularly this "Gods" thing, but I do think that that was like part of the general dismantling of monotheistic--

Mallory 35:01

Christian god.

Cathy 35:02

Yeah. So the last thing I want to talk about in terms of this fanfic is all the five pilots working together, coordinating pickup and rescue missions.

Mallory 35:11

Rendezvous points? How are they in contact with each other?

Cathy 35:15

And they all appear to have like similar missions? Like, it seems like Heero and Duo were on this mission together instead of what we see in the show, which is that they don't...? Again, I think I just love this idealistic view of the Gundam pilots where they're all not just friends, but also comrades in arms.

Caitlin 35:33

Yeah, I mean, this makes more sense than what the show does, which is that on the show, it's always, oh, they just happen to run into each other on the same mission. And they're like, oh, who are you? Why do you have the same Gundam as me? [laughter]

Mallory 35:47

We shouldn't be fighting.

Caitlin 35:48

But Quatre's the only one who says that everybody else is like, let's blow each other up.

Cathy 35:53

We joke a lot about how this podcast is basically us questioning the internal logic of Gundam Wing, like why would anybody do this thing where they just sent five teenagers without any knowledge that there are four other of them and just be like, here you go.

Mallory 36:07

Complete a vague unspecified mission.

Kat 36:10

I feel like fanfiction really made them way more competent. Like there's literally that whole scene where the doctors are like, "You guys fucking suck. You're not the perfect soldiers at all." [laughter]

Mallory 36:21

"You don't know anything."

Kat 36:22

And then in fics it's like Heero's like, "I'm the perfect soldier. I know everything!

Mallory 36:28

"I must be the perfect soldier."

Caitlin 36:30

Oh, yeah. Like they all seem to be much better fighters than they are in canon.

Kat 36:36

Yeah

Caitlin 36:36

I feel like in canon Wufei is the only one who does his job. And in fanfic, it seemed like they were all doing jobs.

Kat 36:43

Trowa's maybe just doing his own thing.

Mallory 36:46

But he's doing A Job.

Caitlin 36:47

Yeah, clowning. Trowa's job is clowning!

Kat 36:50

Everybody got way more trauma than Quatre did in fic even though the show is like here's Quatre's biggest trauma.

Mallory 36:58

You know, that's very true.

Kat 36:59

Which didn't even show up in the clip show.

Caitlin 37:02

Yeah, it also doesn't really make sense that Quatre's always this really sane one in fanfic when he's the main one we've seen in canon go apeshit.

Kat 37:12

Reading this fic and then watching the clip show, I was like, damn, like Wufei/Treize/Zechs was like it's, a whole ass universe. And it's just like, one scene in the first 27 episodes. [laughter] But what a scene.

Mallory 37:27

Such a good one.

Caitlin 37:29

I think that it's important to note that Sunhawk passed away last year, and so we could consider this episode our very weird tribute to her.

Cathy 37:37

Yes, in 2019 in March, there was a post on Sunhawk's LiveJournal, by her daughter, who had become in Sunhawk's words, essentially somewhat of a fandom secretary for Sunhawk, noting that if you are reading this entry, now, it means that she had passed away, she had been diagnosed with cancer, like in 2015, she said four and a half years ago from the time of the writing of the entry. So Sunhawk, beginning in 2007, did a tradition where every year for the 12 days leading up to Christmas, she would post the ficlet, or fanart inspired by her fics, usually 1x2 related usually an excerpt from or like a special scene or bonus scene from one of her stories about Duo and Heero. And she continued that tradition even up until 2019.

Kat 38:25

Oh wow

Cathy 38:25

So prior to that she had actually queued up 12 Days of Christmas for 2019, which her daughter posted. And the very last story actually was a coda for the Ion arc, which was left unfinished and her daughter finished it for her. And if you had the chance, and of course, we'll link to this, I really highly recommend you read the goodbye post from Sunhawk.

Caitlin 38:49

It's, wait, it's really good. Can I read just a little bit of this?

Cathy 38:51

Yes, please.

Caitlin 38:52

Before I shuffle on off, though, I would be remiss if I didn't address the fandom that I have called home for almost two decades. To everyone, thank you, I realized that we aren't as large as we used to be that the heyday is over. But I've enjoyed being here and writing for you all. And there is one thing that I've learned through all of my years, and all of my time with the fandom that I want to share that I think applies not just to our little corner of the internet, but all fandom. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it, share it. We all start somewhere. We all start with works that are horribly out of character. We write tropes that have been written up million times before. We all stare at blank canvases unable to get the lines down in a way that we want. And we all scrap ideas that we feel just aren't good enough. But a fandom lives because of the people who produce for it. And by those who come to read and view. Yes, maybe that 500 word drabble in which two strapping young men are trapped in a remote cabin during some horrible weather event and there is only one bed, isn't your best work. But what about the work after that, or the one that follows? With each creation you learn, you polish yourself, you grow. Never stop yourself from growing. Never let others stop you from growing. Share the stories you have in you. Post your heart -- Post your art, because at the end of the day life is too damn short to spend not doing something you love to do. To all of the Gundam Wing fandom and all of my friends, I want to again say thank you, reading my work supporting me talking with me, you've made my stay here a pleasant one.

Cathy 40:21

I find it really heartwarming. And one thing that I did for this episode is I went back and I read some of Sunhawk's first LiveJournal posts in 2002, when she started her LiveJournal, and even in the comments to people who were, I don't think close friends of hers, you know, just fans, she was always extremely, you know, encouraging and welcoming, and always told her fans that they should just write, you know, even if they felt like whatever they did wasn't perfect or wasn't in their words going to match up to what she did. She always told them just write it. Coming to Sunhawk and realizing that she'd spent two decades in a fandom that I think a lot of us considered dead and she was still cranking out work there and like encouraging people and being loving in that fandom, it just is it's like everything that one hopes one span that experience will be like and how they'll be remembered when they leave. Well, I want to thank you guys for joining me on this episode where we talk about, you know, Sunhawk and fanfic and being really young and on the internet with dial up. I really, you know, appreciate all of your memories, which are also my memories. And together, we'll keep Sunhawk's spirit alive. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it and share it. Thank you very much and see you in two weeks.

#gundam wing #mobile suit gundam #mobile suit gundam wing #Anime Podcast #anime nostalgia #90s anime #episode 14 #transcripts #untitled tallgeese podcast

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go-events · 5 years

Photo

GO Rom Com Spotlight: @wyvernquill

The amazing @wyvernquill (also WyvernQuill on AO3) has claimed Ruby Sparks to adapt for Good Omens in the Good Omens Rom Com Event.

For reference, here’s a little background about the source material!

About Ruby Sparks: Young author Calvin Weir-Fields (Paul Dano), once a literary darling, is having trouble composing his next novel. Following a therapist's advice, Calvin pulls out an old manual typewriter and creates a vivacious, flame-haired woman he dubs Ruby Sparks (Zoe Kazan). Overnight, Ruby leaps from the page into Calvin's home as a real flesh-and-blood woman. And, what's more, she's unaware that she's actually a fictional character and that her actions and feelings are dictated by whatever Calvin writes.

We spent some time chatting about how the adaptation is coming so far, as well as future plans for it! Now, get to know @wyvernquill a little better!

* * *

goromcom: Let’s begin with what Tumblr can tell me about you. You know how if you open a Tumblr chat with someone you haven't chatted to before, Tumblr tells you two things they post about? I wanted to tell you that yours reports that you post "about #fanart and #illustration". I really admire people who can draw *and* write. Do you enjoy one more than the other?

wyvernquill: Oh, don't ask me to choose between my brain-children! I love both for different reasons, and find some ideas are easier to express in writing, others through drawing; though I also love to combine the two by illustrating my fics or writing something based on some random thing I sketched during class. (I'm also a very quick artist, while my fics tend to balloon out of proportion - so "doing a quick illustration in an hour" and "writing a 102k epic" are two very different and really rather incomparable experiences!)

goromcom: Oh goodness, yes. Two very different creative outlets! But for now, let’s talk about writing. You chose to adapt Ruby Sparks as your rom com. Has this movie been a favorite of yours, or is there some other reason you chose it?

wyvernquill: Cards on the table? I never heard of this movie before. I got very close to writing the fic without having seen it once, and only watched it a week or so ago. (And even then... it's not a *bad* movie, but, personally, I didn't grow attached to the characters at all. Just didn't really appeal to my tastes, I guess.) So, why Ruby Sparks?

Well, I made a List, capital L for significance. In the 12 hours before claims, I researched the plots of every single movie up for claiming - most of which I never heard of, clearly I don't watch enough romcoms - and categorised them into "absolutely not" "mmmmmaybe?" and "possibly", making my way through IMDB short descriptions and Wikipedia pages until the List was down to the top 10; most of which were movies I'd seen or at least heard of - except Ruby Sparks, which I chose for the simple reason that I'd ALREADY written an "accidental" AU of it.

The premise was exactly the same as roughly 3k of unfinished Doctor Who fic I scribbled together and never published, even though I was quite fond of it. I figured I could re-use my favourite elements of that fic, work off the base premise rather than the movie itself, and see where writing takes me.

goromcom: That is quite a ride! I’m a big proponent of re-introducing or recycling ideas or material that you find compelling but weren’t quite able to use before! It’s like, eco-awareness for your mind. :)

Given your history with this movie, this might be an odd question, but: What's your favorite moment of your movie, and are you looking forward to presenting it in your adaptation? Any loose plans for that scene that you can share?

wyvernquill: For reasons already outlined above, this isn't really based directly on any scene of the movie, but I think Aziraphale writing his idea of a "perfect husband" (and a progressively more thinly-veiled self-insert as the main character) will be a delight!

I greatly enjoy having the subjective perception of POV characters and objective reality be comically different - "I'm an excellent cook," he said, scraping the burned remnants of what could really no longer be called an omelette onto a plate - so I think I'll have some fun there. Maybe Aziraphale will defend his Artistic Vision (And Not Wish Fulfillment At All Shut Up) to someone? I'm not sure yet.

goromcom: I have a feeling I know the answer, but let me ask it anyway. Do you plan to stick very closely to the beats of the original story, or make bigger changes?

wyvernquill: Bigger changes, definitely. I might pluck an idea or two from the movie - and, surprisingly, the rough progression of events was pretty close to what I planned anyway - but it'll be rather different. (See next answer - I might well take more from Mary Shelley than from Ruby Sparks!)

Also, I'm still a bit undecided on this, but I might actually have Aziraphale publish some of his writing about Crowley from the start, something which doesn't happen in the movie until the very end.

goromcom: What's an interesting decision you've made in your planning so far--a notable casting decision, a changing of venue, or some other plan you have to paint Good Omens all over your rom com?

wyvernquill: Well, the moral of the movie was more or less that Writer Guy--no, I don't even remember his name!--has to overcome his controlling half-neurotic nature so he can be happy both among his more easy-going family and with the freespirited Ruby. Instead, I intend to have Aziraphale struggling a la Modern Prometheus (what does it mean to create life, to play God, to have a Creature that thinks for itself?), creating a subplot that is more overtly philosophical and thought-provoking, with a hint of religiosity - the essence of what GO is to me.(Meaning the final conflict will not be Writer Guy warping Ruby into a helpless parody of herself, but instead Aziraphale growing afraid of Crowley, who's beginning to show traits he never wrote for him, attempting to "erase" him again before he loses control entirely... but it all ends happily, don't worry! ;))

goromcom: Those are some pretty interesting ideas you’re playing with! I’m looking forward to reading it. But let’s not give too much away, and move on to my last question. I am blatantly stealing this from The Good Place: The Podcast, but here goes: Tell me something "good". It can be something big or small. It can be a charity you think is doing good work, or you can talk about how great your pet is.

wyvernquill: Oh, the temptation to talk about my four darling cats is Real(tm)... but instead, I want to give a little shout-out to the absolutely fantasticamazingbrilliant teacher at my university who offered a course on fanfic and fandom studies this past term, and who is letting me write my term paper on the Ineffable Fandom!!!

She's the best, lots of fun to discuss with, and research for the paper - deadline in two weeks, I've not yet started writing it, let's hope I get it finished speedily! - is an absolute delight.

(The only difficulty will be staying within the page limit... there's just so much to write about with this wonderful fandom.)

Her course was the highlight of my week, and fan studies (unsurprisingly!) turned out to be a field that really interests me. So thank you so much, Ms Fanfic Teacher, I'm very grateful for... just about everything!!! ^-^ <3

goromcom: That sounds like a fantastic class and an even better teacher. You have to admire the people who go that extra mile to inspire and lift up their students, and get them actually excited about learning.

And you know what else is going to be fantastic? The GO adaptation of Ruby Sparks, coming soon!

#goromcom #goromcom spotlight #good omens #wyvernquill #ruby sparks

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kur0kvmi · 5 years

Text

The Menacing Mind of Felix Lombardi-Act 2

I peek through the door glass one more time, to make sure I’m not hallucinating. Yep. Ami Fujinami in the mother, fucking flesh.

“Felix? I know you’re in there, open up” Ami said, in between repeatedly knocking

“Yea I’ll open it up in a minute” I said as I frantically searched for a clean pair of sweatpants to wear.

Ami and I have known each other for the entirety of the 2 years I’ve been living at this apartment. She and her Grandma have taken pretty good care of me seeing as I’m not exactly the best at it.

“Hi Ami, what brings you here?” I asked, trying to push out the conversation with my brother from my mind

“Well, a strange man in a dark blue suit was here yesterday and he gave me 2 tickets to Mysticon”

And then it call comes rushing back

“Wow that’s weird, well have fun” I said as I tried to close the door on her, only for her to stop the door from shutting.

“He said he was your brother, and that I should ask you to go with me” Ami said, slowly edging towards me like she was trying to get a good look at the reflection in my eyeballs.

“Well, I have no idea who you’re talking about. I don’t have a brothe-”

“Hello? Mr. Lombardi? He said exactly what you said he’d say. Mhmm That he doesn't have a brother. Should I hand him the phone? Ok. Ok. I’ll tell him.”

Oh fuck.

“He says if you don’t go to Mysticon with me, I should tell Obaa-san to lock you out of the wifi for a month” Ami said, in the most perfunctory tone imaginable.

“First of all, you can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. And to be honest, I don’t care if Mr. Lombardi is your real brother or not, I want to go to Mysticon, and I don’t care who with. So you’re going with me Felix.” Despite the fact that Ami was more or less extorting a date out of me, she did so with the gusto and demeanor of a middle schooler who just won a spelling bee.

“Why couldn’t you just go by yourself?”

“The deal is, I take you, and I get a free ticket. Mr. Lombardi was very clear about this”

“So I have no choice”

“None at all”

“Alright. Come knock on my door on saturday”

“It is Saturday, you bum”

“Why aren’t we using your car?” Ami moaned as we exited the building.

“The train is faster” I said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my jacket.

“Mysticon is in Hells Kitchen right?” Ami asked, whilst reaching into her backpack

“Yup, and it’s...3pm, traffic will be annoying, and I don’t wanna worry about driving back if I buy weed.” I said, pulling out my lighter

“What have I told you about smoking when you’re next to me.” Ami said, pulling out a batton, then flicking it to extend it’s length.

I put the cig back in the pack, whilst prompting her to sheathe her weapon. Throughout the journey my mind is racing. Ami and I hanging out again? It’s not that I like her or anything, it’s just that I kind of missed her. Hey I’m allowed to have feelings aren’t I? I’m sure you’re wondering “but Felix, if you missed hanging out with her, why did you stop talking to her?” Why yes fair reader, that’s a very adequate question, however the nature of our relationship isn’t that simple. Ami is kind of an all around nerd aficionado, she cosplays, she writes fanfics, she draws, she sings anime openings on youtube, it’s kind of scary how much she does all over the place. Recently she’s started to get really famous online, she’s started to devote a lot more time to it, and She started ghosting. Being distant... And you know me, I ain’t exactly a butterfly myself, so we just drifted apart. She should be making money on youtube, couldn’t she just get her own tickets?

“Obaa San wouldn’t let me” Ami said as we reached the station. “She’s against anime conventions on principle”.

“Is this about a ‘Japan is more than anime’ thing?” I asked, shifting over to the right as I stepped on the escalator so I could walk down past the standers.

“No that’s more my parents. Baa san is a reeeeaaally old school Otaku.”

“Then what’s her beef with anime conventions?”

“She thinks they’re ‘commodified caricatures of otaku culture’ or something along those lines” Ami said as we hopped on the train.

Granny Fujinami isn’t wrong in the slightest.

“So she won’t be mad at you for going?”

“She’s only letting me go because I’m going with you. It’s aaalways about you with her.”

“Not my fault i’m the grandson she never had” I said while making a mocking face at Ami.

“She only loves you cuz you’re a broken mess she can nurture. You’re like my dad. Ugh, you’re like all men really.”

Ouch.

“Ouch.”

“Suck it up loser.” Ami said, shifting her direction away from me.

“You’re so cute when you go all Tsun” I said, pulling out my phone.

“That would imply me having any ‘dere’ for you.” Ami snapped back.

So hot.

[At the Convention]

What’s going on what’s going on going on. Everyone’s looking at us. Well I guess I am walking next to Amura. Yes that’s Ami’s social media name, you try coming up with something better at 12. Mine’s [REDACTED]. This is not what I signed up for. Louis Othello Lombardi you fucking bastard. You knew this would happen. You did your homework on Ami and figured out she’d be a lightning rod for attention. Keep me around her, and I’m bound to be assaulted by nothing. But. Fucking. People.

“OH MY GOD IT’S AMURA!” Two young girls screamed. “But I heard you weren't coming? You said so on twitter :(.“ I swear to almighty Haruhi Suzumiya, if there was such a thing as a frowny face emoji in real life, whatever that girl did was damn close.

“Well change of plans ^_^” Oh my god, Ami can speak emoji too!

“So what panels are you going to? I heard Gail has a panel about anime piracy” Said one of the fangirls, angling towards it on the con directory.

“Gail from Crunchyroll?”

“Sounds fun! Felix, ikimasu!” Whoever this version of Ami was, I wanted NO PARTS.

“Sounds lame. I’m going to the arcade.” I was putting my foot down

“Ok cool. Hand me your pass then. You can pay on your own.”

“You can’t do tha-”

“Yes. Yes I can. You want this pass?.” Ami pulled out the 3 day convention pass out of her purse and dangled it in front of me. Obviously I tried snatching at it, only for Ami to move it out of the way. Damn japanese reflexes.

“Gotta be quicker than that. We’re going to the panel. Follow me.” Ami said, tossing me the pass.

“If you sneak off, I’m calling Obaa chan.” she said, in that her perfunctory yet declaratory way.

“...So what you end up having is an environment where it’s harder and harder for us to justify hosting servers for anime distribution, because they don’t wanna pa- *ahem* because piracy.” Or something to that effect I’m not really listening to this Gail lady.

Anime piracy is a dumb thing to have a panel about anyway, it’s not like anybody in this room even knows how to torrent off wonwons, let alone\ how find the right codec for shows with bad compression. These are a bunch of crunchycores. The kinds of anime fans so hopped up on seasonal hype that the mere thought of an anime older than 12 months makes their tongues run dry, and their eyes wire shut.

“Are there any questions?”

“You got anything to ask?” chuckled Ami.

“Why are we here. We both know Kissanime is in your bookmarks” I jeered.

“Networking dummy. I talk to Gail after the panel, and smooth out something over at Crunchyroll” For some reason Ami’s eyes did the dollars signs when she said “crunchyroll”

“In San Francisco? You’d hate it there.”

“I’d make it there. That’s the important part. I’d really make it. I’d be in.”

“In what?” I said with a look of befuddlement.

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re basically guaranteed a job after graduation”

“Hey, don’t make it like tha-”

“Don’t make it like what Felix?” Ami snapped, but less with anger, and more a tired expression.

The Panel was beginning to wind down, and folks were getting up to leave. Ami bounced out of her seat and darted towards the stage.

“Gaaaaaiiiil! Hiii, I follow you on twitter!” Ami screamed, like a schoolgirl seeing a classmate

“Amura! I follow you too! I love your singing” Gail responded in a surprisingly similar manner.

“Thanks so much, ugh. That means alot l love you and Sailor Bee’s podcast ^_^” This whole display was just. The worst.

I backed off from the discussion, but I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to make it far without incurring that good old Fujinami wrath. Jeez they’re taking forever. Is this a meet and greet? Or a job interview.

“Felix? Oh shit, how you been bruh?” This voice, I recognized it.

I turned around, and yup, it was Tyler.

“Who let riff raff like you in here?” I said as we shook hands

“Is that any way to treat your one black friend:” He responded dryly.

“I have plenty of black friends. Unlike you, most of my friends are girls.” I shot back.

“Yea right, if you ever left your yuppie ass play pad I’d believe you.”

“You’d be surprised how many of em recognize me from Ami’s streams.”

“The streams she stopped inviting you to?”

“Low blow T.”

Tyler is a friend from Highschool who runs in the same online circles that I do. We keep in touch through discord and trade merchandise on message boards. He’s been trying to break into the FGC since middle school and recently struck a deal with a team based out of Brooklyn, The Mash Masters. He’s pretty good, quick reflexes, consistent muscle memory, but he lacks patience, and his neutral game needs work.

“Where you headed to after this? Tryna hit up the arcade?” Asked Tyler as he picked up his backpack getting ready to leave.

“I’m here with Ami, I gotta check and see where she’s headed to”

“Whooptish” Tyler said, while making a whipping motion.

“You know it’s not like that bro.” I shot back

“For her it isn’t, for you it is.” he retorted.

I told him to wait up for a sec as I went over to Ami & Gail. They were still chopping it up like they’d known each other since band camp.

“Shoot me a DM on twitter whenever you get the chance, I’d love to get you acquainted with the rest of my team. Maybe even talk bringing you to some other cons around the east coast ;)” Naruhodo, it seems this Gail is also of the emoji Clan.

“Sure thing! Don’t forget to tweet out the channel link with the picture, and tell Vicky I said hi!” Ami said gleefully.

“I definitely will, but uhh, she hates being called Vicky. Victoria or Sailorbee are just fine.” Gail responded, with a tinge of trepidation.

“Yea, I made that mistake on twitter once, it wasn’t pretty” I said with a chuckle.

“Oh hello, and who might you be?” Asked Gail.

“This is my friend Felix I was telling you about.” Ami said. Wait, telling her about what?

“Ah yes, the animator. Ami showed me your fan animation of Diebuster. Very interesting to see a Gainax show done with heavy Yutapon vibes” This lady knows her stuff.

“This lady knows her stuff” I said to Ami.

“Of course I do silly, I work in the anime industry” The smile Gail shot me as she said this wouldn’t be out of place in a Shaft anime.

“You definitely have some real skills. We’re looking for someone to do a sakuga heavy promo for our new youtube ad. If you’re interested, Ami has my contact info. It was so very nice meeting the both of you, don’t forget to keep in touch.” Gail said in a warm, professional tone as she got up to leave.

“Well she seems nice” I said to Ami.

“You’re welcome Felix.” Said Ami, in her usual biting tone.

“I didn’t ask you for that. If I wanted a job at Crunchyroll I’d have one already.”

“‘Thanks Ami, I really appreciate you showing my work to someone really influential who can open doors in my chosen profession, would you like headpats?’” Ami said, in a mocking imitation of my sultry ciciillian speech pattern.

“First of all, fine, thank you, that was a very nice thing to do, and I was pleasantly surprised. Secondly, do you seriously want headpats?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you weirdo” And there’s the Tsun again.

“I ran into Tyler, he says he’s going to the Arcade, and I was looking to go with. You in?”

“Tyler’s here? Yea sure, let’s go”

Ami & I leave the stage and head over to where Tyler is sitting when I get a text on my phone.

[11:58. Text from Lou]: Having fun?

[11:58. You]: Yea

He’s just like mom.

“Oh my god it’s Amura! Could you sign my Fightstick?” Tyler sniggered, his fightstick outstretched. He’s such an asshole I love it.

“Knock it off, I’d actually sign it if I didn’t know you’d just flip it on Ebay” Ami sneered, arms folded and head angrily tossed to the side.

“Aww don’t be like that, I really did want your autograph. You’d be surprised how many Blazblue players would pay good cash for one” Tyler said, packing his fightstick back in his backpack.

“If anyone’s gonna make money off the Amura brand it’s gonna be ME!” Ami retorted viciously.

“Now that’s just anti-black business” I said, chuckling as Tyler dapped me up.

Ami rolled her eyes as heavy as she could roll them and stomped out of the conference room, and we sheepishly trailed after her.

By this point in the day I’d grown used to Ami being a lightning rod for attention. My camera skills must have leveled up big time from all those pics I had to take, of her with fans. Just getting to the Arcade area of the convention was a whole 20 minutes of photo after photo with weeb after arrested developed weeb, and to be honest I was practicing some big time restraint to not just walk out of the center and catch an Uber home. But surely enough, through fire by force, we found ourselves at the-

Boy was this the kind of place I wanted to be. The whole area was what you’d expect from a high profile convention in a big city. What seemed to be at least 30 TVs all hooked up with consoles spanning an entire auditorium. This wasn’t an arcade, it felt more like a Bazaar crossed with a colosseum. You have your old reliables for the boomers like Street Fighter, MK, ok that’s neat, there’s Melee, 64, Ultimate, Smash 4, oh even Brawl, full house, that’s impressive. As we moved through, you could imagine that there were furrowed brows due to the smell, but in all honesty it wasn’t as bad as most invitationals I’ve been to. We couldn’t find the game we were here for though; Blazblue. Tyler directed us to the kiosk so we could get directions.

“Nigga where the Blazblue at?” Tyler said to one of the convention attendees,

All the way at the back, by the Under Night” The Attendee responded.

I was just about ready to dart over there when Tyler said:

“Nah hol’ up real quick bro, I got a question I gotta ask you” uh oh, I hear the Brooklyn leaking out.

“Yea? Is there something wrong?” the attendee said, with a befuddled expression.

“Y’all always hide the anime fighters, what's up with that?” Tyler said blankly, almost with no life at all.

“It’s not my decision where the games are set up-”

“That’s not what I asked bro. I’ve done conventions fam, I sat where you sat. NYCC 2017, bigger con than this, and from what I know about my time there, y’all have a meeting to coordinate where the games are set up. Correct?” Oh my god, Tyler what are you doing.

“Yes correct” The attendee responded.

“So you were in the room when the decision was made, correct?” This is so wacky

“Yea, but like, I didn’t have a choi-”

“Nobody’s asking about a choice, I’m asking you, what was the reasoning behind the decision?” Should I stop this? Or?...

“They didn’t want the anime stuff turning folks away” Oh no, here we go

“There it is” Tyler said triumphantly as he began to walk off.

“Hey, I think it’s bullshit too ma-” t

“Yet you said nothing. You and all your boys said nothing. Aight, I see you fam. Haruhi’s watching you” Tyler said, his back already turned and walking away. “Let’s go guys”

“Did you have to make such a big hoopla you maniac?” Ami said laughing her ass off.

“Because I have Principles Fujinami, you should try em some time” Tyler snapped back.

“That was the FUNNIEST shit I’ve seen all day, I’m so happy I knew to record that” Ami said, still cackling.

“Wait you recorded that?” Tyler said, shocked

“I uploaded it. Enjoy being a meme” Ami said blankly.

“Not again…” Tyler sighed.

We finally make it to the Blazblue section, and it’s about as serviceable as you’d expect. Two TVs both hooked up to PS4s playing Central Fiction. There wasn’t much of a crowd, about 5 or 6 people, all looked to be around college age, couple on the boomer side though. All guys.

“This game is so hyperactive…” Ami said, in a tone betwixt judgement and bewilderment.

“Not every game gotta be Street Fighter” Said Tyler. “Ey yo, who got next?” Tyler asked a portly asian fellow playing Taokaka.

“Uhh, I dunno, anybody got next?” the Taokaka player asked. The crowd shook their heads. “I guess it’s on you bro after this.”

Nobody else noticed, But Tyler’s killing intent began to spike. I get you’re excited kiddo, but you haven’t even chewed the scenery yet.

The game was pretty hype. There it was Taokaka vs Valkenhayn. Both characters with adequate rushdown capabilities and heavy damage. The Valkenhayn was an even match, but the Tao was just catching clutch reversals at every corner. It felt like seeing a tiger beat a lion by leaving a bigger gash every time they left the scuffle. Tyler, ever the professional, was quiet as a mouse. A mouthy prick like him? Quiet? I know right? But he gets like this when it’s Blazblue. The data collection phase. See if Street Fighter is Chess, then Blazblue is Mahjong. The same level of depth, but a wider variety of dealing with situational disadvantages and advantages. Tyler sees what I’m seeing and he’s analyzing, putting his pieces together, he’s not here for fun. This is off the job training.

“FINISH” 6 red letters on the television screen. Read em & Weep.

“My turn now right?” Tyler asked the Taokaka player.

“Yup. What’s your name?” said the Tao player

“Tyro, and you?” oh yea I forgot that was his FGC name, everywhere else he’s Tyrilla. He sucks at names yes I know.

“I’m Yiao, nice to meet you.” Yiao said, pushing his glasses up.

The character selection screen pops up and… Wait don’t tell me he…Oh boy, Tyler’s picking his middle school main. Hazama. Yiao on the other hand started mousing over Tao then over to Litchi. Come on pick a character already. After more mousing, his cursor finally landed on Mai... From rushdown to range spam. Just all around bloodthirst.

Both of them sat in silence as the loading screen started up, until Yiao broke that silence.

“I’ve heard of you, Mash Master Tyro. To be honest I was hoping we’d meet. I have this Mai prepared just for you.” said Yiao. Yawn. This happens all the time. Tyler’s probably got him scoped already too.

“Yiao, third runner up at Anifight Staten Island. Three. Years. Running.” Yup, knew it. Tyler lives for this shit.

“You wanna know why HowRite was able to beat you 3 to nothing last year?” Tyler said, deadpan staring at the screen.

“THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING” oh shit the round is starting.

“Cuz he knew if he lost, he’d never get to face my mentor in the finals”

“But wait. Ulysses isn’t on your team?” Yiao said confused, the backstory here is really weird, I’d be confused as well to be honest.

“REBEL 1”

“Ulysses is my stepdad.”

“ACTION”

Told you.

End of Act 2.

#short story #lightnovel #light novel #anime #fgc #independent author

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arlessiar · 7 years

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Eleven questions

I’m incredibly late with answering this, but it took me a while and then the whole Kingsman SDCC thing happened in-between. So no idea if people are still interested in this, but now that I’ve written it I also want to post it. :)

I was tagged by @notbrogues @hartwin-af and @spockri

rules: 1. always post the rules. 2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

Questions by @notbrogues

1. Describe your least favourite character.

In general, the pointless love interests, the boring villains, the almighty and flawless heroes, the dumb and helpless females

(And just in case, the opposite – my favourite characters are the caring doctors, the smart geeks, and the loners, misfits and underdogs *g*)

2. A go-to comfort meal/snack/treat.

When my Mum crumbs meat or veggies to fry them she always makes a small fried bread/omelette from the rest of the eggs and breadcrumbs. She adds salt, pepper and some cheese. It’s an old Silesian tradition, my Gran always did that and we still do it today. It means home and comfort for me and I love it and I’ll defend it from every other hungry person in the house. It’s mine. My precious. Me eats it alone! *eg*

Apart from that – Avocado. Chickpeas. White chocolate. Chocolate digestives.

3. Describe a perfect vacation, with no limit on funds or how long you can stay there.

I go there quite often, but still, London. It’s been my happy place for years. And from there I’d go to Cornwall, to the Lake District, the Brecon Beacons and the Highlands. With unlimited funds I’d take my parents with me or my BFF, and we’d spend lots of time visiting all the manors and country houses!

4. Do you listen to podcasts? If so, what are you favourites?

Listened to the Three Patch Podcast in the Sherlock fandom, but only a few times. Not really my thing in general.

5. One widely accepted fanon headcanon that you just don’t agree with?

Hmm, I like most of the fanon and can live with the rest. Not so keen on Percival being Roxy’s Dad. Distantly related, yes, but I can’t imagine him as her father.

6. One story/movie/song/album/piece of art that resonated with you and that you will never be able to forget?

There’s so much I could write here, but I have to make a decision, so:

Stories, movies – too many to count!

Song and album – R.E.M., Automatic for the people, “Everybody hurts”. My fav forever band, and that song saved my life during a very low phase I went through in my teens. Oh, and Jeff Buckley’s version of Cohen’s “Hallelujah”. Listening to that for the first time was a revelation.

Piece of art: My favourite picture is Caspar David Friedrich’s Wanderer above the sea of fog. I could stare at it for hours. Also, seeing Van Gogh’s Sunflowers for real in the National Gallery had blown my mind and I’ll go to look at it every time I’m in London.

When I was a teen there was an exhibition in my city with photographs from Nan Goldin. Our art teacher took us there and most of my classmates weren’t prepared for this rather explicit art. For me though a gate had opened, I finally understood the art of photography, and it’s been a passion of mine ever since.

7. If you have a day off, no responsibilities or pressing matters to attend to: what are you doing for the rest of the day?

Three words – Lego, AO3 and tumblr.

8. Favourite past trend that you are most nostalgic for?

I honestly never really followed trends a lot, so I’ve no idea what to say here. ^^ What I really really miss is the way they made computer games in the Nineties. Give me a good old fashioned Adventure with tricky puzzles and I’m happy.

9. What’s a hobby/skill you’ve always wanted to learn?

Playing the harp or the violin. And archery. Might still try the latter one day.

10. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

So sorry, but I have to skip this one... I don’t dream much anymore. The only thing I can say is: Hopefully still surrounded by the people who I love more than my own life.

11. What was your first fandom? First OTP? First NOTP? Any memorable experiences from those early days?

My first fandom was Star Trek, around 1991. I always blame my Dad for me becoming a geek because it was him who told me to watch TOS. :) Wrote my first story in a notebook when I was twelve, no OTP though then, it was rather Mary Sue-ish. ^^ Then we got our first computer, and I had moved on to DS9. More stories, now on computer, still no OTP but lots of h/c. Then we got internet in 1996, and I was having some sort of epiphany – there was this world-wide phenomenon called fanfiction! I was not alone! An amazing discovery! Saw my first slashfic at that time, Garak/Bashir, and I was 16 and all like ‘ewww’ and backed away from it (so that was probably my first NOTP).

Being a Tolkien fan for years I easily fell for the LOTR films later and wrote FF for that and published my first stories. Arwen/Aragorn was my first fandom OTP I guess. Saw more slashfic, Legolas/Aragorn, and I was still not convinced, but I read one. While I never shipped that pairing, slashfic in general suddenly started to look appealing. Well, and today I say “all I’ve learnt about sex, I’ve learnt from fanfic”, because those years were really educational… ;)

Next fandom was Stargate Atlantis (OTP McShep), my online fan-life started in earnest then with the Gateworld forum and LJ, then Torchwood (OTP Ianto/Jack), then Sherlock (OTP Johnlock). And here I am now, in the Kingsman fandom, with Hartwin and Merhartwin being my OTPs.

Now @hartwin-af

1. Who are your favourite artists/actors/fictional characters?

I admire Viggo Mortensen both as an actor and as an artist. And Colin Firth has been one of my favourite actors for many years. Closely followed by Chris Pine and Matt Damon. I also think Meryl Streep is a goddess.

Fav fictional characters: Aragorn, Sherlock, Mr Darcy and tons of others, among them right now Harry Hart :)

2. What are your favourite tv shows/movies?

Fav TV shows from the past: Star Trek DS9, Torchwood, MASH, SGA, Sherlock, Flying Doctors, Diagnosis Murder, Queer as folk

Recent TV shows: Agents of shield, Poldark, The Handmaid’s tale

3. What/Who do you fear?

Dying alone

4. What are you looking forward to the most?

At the moment my summer holiday and Kingsman 2.

5. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

The acceptance of ignorance you see nowadays. It’s ok to lack knowledge, but one shouldn’t be proud of it. It’s no badge of honour to boast about. There’s something you don’t know – go and look it up.

6. If you could make one thing canon in your fandom, what would it be?

DAISY UNWIN

7. Do you hoard usernames?

Nope. In fact I’m known for having the same username for decades and almost everywhere…

8. Coke or Pepsi? Tea or Coffee? KFC or McDonald’s?

If at all, Coke. Coffee, with tea being a close second. McDonald’s, but rather Burger King!

9. What would make today better?

Less humidity. Apart from that it’s been a pretty fine day. :)

10. What’s your favourite scent?

Privet when it’s in bloom.

11. What’s your proudest achievement?

Finishing my university degree (MA)

And @spockri

1) Are you a morning person or a night owl?

100% night owl

2) What is your OTP (and you can only pick 1!) and why?

Currently Hartwin. It just… happened. Love the fact that they’re so different and yet so similar, and that there’s tons of chemistry between them.

3) What is your favorite thing about Colin Firth?

His smile. Absolutely.

4) What’s your favorite book and how would you recommend it to someone who’s never heard of it?

That is in fact Atwood’s “The handmaid’s tale” and has been for years. I would recommend it as a book that’s become scarily relevant again in the light of the current political situation in the US.

5) Where is your favorite place to read?

Used to be my bed, but the older I get, the less comfortable it becomes. So today it’s my desk chair. And Parliament Hill when I’m in London.

6) What was your last impulse buy?

Clothes. I have way too many clothes… send help! Or Livia Firth, so that she can rip me a new one. Or Colin so that he can rip my clothes off… ok, wait, I need to stop.

7) What is/was your favorite subject in school?

That was English and Art

8) Are you an introvert or extrovert?

Introvert, INFJ. And an HSP.

9) Do you have any trips/vacations planned this year?

Most likely London again in August, and a short trip within Germany to visit two wonderful friends in October

10) What would you do if you saw Colin Firth walking on the other side of the street from you?

In my dreams I’d work up the courage to walk over to him and smile and say hello and ask politely for an autograph… depends on the situation though. So in reality I’d most likely try not to bother him to respect his privacy and just stare at him from afar… while silently hyperventilating

11) I probably know you because we’re both into Kingsman, so when did you first watch Kingsman and what drew you to it?

When it came out I saw many posts about it on my tumblr dash and had no idea what it’s about. Thought it must be a big thing though and decided to watch it one day, but ignored it then on tumblr in order not to spoiler myself accidentally. It was on my list for a while and I finally bought the DVD in November 2016. Watched it with my parents. Was hooked in a second. This rarely happens to me, but I liked that the movie didn’t take itself overly serious but was still believable, and that the story had no loose ends. Also, suits and Savile Row (love a man in a good suit), and Colin Firth. Sold. The rest is history.

- - - - -

Now, eleven questions from me, just in case anyone still wants to do this and isn’t sick of this meme already. :)

1) What did you want to become as a child, and what did you become?

2) If you were allowed to dress your favourite actor however you’d like, who would it be and what would she/he look like afterwards?

3) Did you ever cry while reading a book or watching a film, and if yes, when was the last time that happened and why?

4) What is your favourite piece of jewellery that you own?

5) If you could invent and play any kind of yet non-existent role in an existent movie, who would you like to be?

6) You have to share a room with a Kingsman character for one night. Who will it be and why?

7) Did you have a comfort toy as a child and if yes, what happened to it?

8) What is the colour/design of your bedclothes?

9) What was your happiest fandom moment so far?

10) The last film you saw in the cinema

11) You invite your favourite fictional character for dinner and you’re having pizza. They say it’s your choice – what kind of pizza would you order for them?

You all probably did that already, I’m sorry!!

@agentdagonet @ripgalahad @jeherion @jesspaw @londongypsy @letmecomealong @galahadthelate @solarrift @lady-mephistopheles @fideliant @deepdarkwaters

#meme #eleven questions #arlessiar's replies

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sshbpodcast · 7 years

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Tales from the Holodeck: TOS Fanfic: Ames’s Story

A Star to Steer Her By celebrated getting through all of Star Trek: The Original Series by writing our own TOS fanfic series “Tales from the Holodeck”! We each picked two crew members and two special guests and did pretty much whatever we wanted. You can listen to the fanfic in the podcast episode, but here’s Ames’s short story in written form. Enjoy!

“Sentient Life”

by Ames

Random Picks: Spock, Chekov, Yeoman Martha Landon, a sentient cloud

I can only tell this story in hindsight because the details have fallen into place in a most unsettling way. I reflect upon it often. My world is destroyed. I do not mean that literally; it is still here – a planet called Palochka – but everything I know about it is in shambles. I apologize, language is a new phenomenon to me. Let me begin with when the strangers arrived out of literally nowhere and changed everything forever.

"Captain's log," said their leader, a corporeal being I am compelled to call strikingly handsome though I do not entirely understand why. "The reports of the beings on the planet's surface are correct. They are ravaging the machinery, and chief engineer Scott says the unmanned stations require extensive repairs. I am assigning an away team to study the creatures and determine preventative measures to keep them from interfering with the stations."

I have never considered myself a "being" or a "creature" before. I have never considered myself an anything before. The fleshy beings moved among us, pointing instruments this way and that and talking quietly among themselves. A particularly solid-looking individual approached the leader and simply said, "Fascinating." I would eventually learn his name was Commander Spock, and whenever I think of him, conflicted feelings torment my memories. I think "blue" because that was the color of his shirt. I think "cold" because that was the temperature of the air that lapped gently at the bristling hairs on his neck. I think "smooth" because that was the quality of his voice that undulated like a silk ribbon on a soft breeze. But I get ahead of myself.

"Tricorder readings are consistent with the reports, Captain," crooned Spock to the leader of the newcomers, whose name would turn out to be James Kirk. "The beings are advanced lifeforms, though we are unable to communicate with them."

My form still surprises me: shapeless, like a puff of slithering smoke with a mind. The energy of our cloudy bodies had caused the stations on this barren planet to cease functioning. We didn't mean it; we didn't even know! The crew members discussed ways to alleviate the problem for a long time, but a hard-featured man with a rolling voice, whom the others called Scotty, dismissed each for technical reasons the others were not immediately aware of.

"Perhaps we just get rid of the cloud beings?" suggested a short, round-faced crewman with a thick accent, Pavel Chekov. When I think back on Ensign Chekov, the images that come to mind are very different. I think "gold," which it turns out looks very different from blue. I think "hot" because his moist palms clenched together with heat in them. And I think "lust" because Yeoman Martha Landon was nearby.

I know nothing about beauty except that Martha Landon was beautiful, with smooth blond hair arranged neatly in an updo, sapphire eyes, and a restless quality about her like a snake about to molt. She approached the group with her own device pointed at me and my people, a look of incredulity on her face. "But these are advanced beings. That's what you said. If this is a society of intelligent beings, then the Prime Directive clearly states that we not interfere with them." When I remember her, I recall a warmth I cannot place. Perhaps that is how beings respond to beauty.

Kirk smiled in a practiced way both fatherly and patronizing. "That's a very good point, Yeoman, but this station predates the Prime Directive, so perhaps we should just bypass the formalities."

"Shall I contact Starfleet Command and request their thoughts on the subject? I'm sure they can determine whether the Prime Directive applies." There was something forceful in her words though she spoke them as plainly as usual. Perhaps it was in her expression, that powerful something that stood up to authority. She instantly became even more attractive.

The captain's expression fell to a mildly stunned wince, though he tried to hide it under his words. "No need for that. I suppose we can do this one by the books after all."

"That was very impressive, Martha. Very diplomatic of you," said Chekov, mispronouncing the V's in his speech. The sexual tension between the two young crew members pulled him involuntarily close to the yeoman. Close enough to brush against her shoulder. Close enough to put his arm around the small of her back.

"Thank you, Pav," she said and cast a look down at the ground in what could either have been shyness or embarrassment.

Kirk cleared his throat. "Chekov, Miss Landon, would you be so kind as to capture one of the beings so Spock can run more tests. If it's as intelligent as you say, I'd like to try to reason with it. Maybe we can work something out." After sharing a meaningful glance with Spock, the captain and the first officer walked away.

"Did I tell you that Palochka was settled as a Russian station, Martha?" Chekov asked, palms growing warmer. The rest of their exchange does not exist in my memory. Suffice it to say they succeeded in encasing me in a containment device.

I shall not bore you with the hours of tests that Spock and the chief medical officer, a charming doctor called McCoy with a voice like melting butter, performed on me as I was not aware of them. Members of my kind contain no sensory organs. We neither hear nor see nor feel nor perceive the sensations of any of the countless organs that constitute other lifeforms. These beings did not even exist to me. Nothing did. Nothing ever had. The doctor crossed his arms, clenched his jaw, and turned his attention abruptly to his counterpart. "It's impossible! The things are simply not sentient beings. They're only mindless clouds and we should deal with them and be on our way instead of wasting more of our time here."

Spock, while trying to appear unvexed, betrayed an expression of irritation in his sharp, jagged features. "There is a difference, Doctor, between sentience and sapience. It is still quite possible that the lifeforms contain marked intelligence, as the sensors indicate."

From the doorway where he and Landon idled, Chekov asked, "There is no way to get through to them?"

McCoy paced, his agitation displaying itself with each tense step. "We've tried everything. Extreme temperatures, UV light, radiation, a veritable torture chamber of effects; they haven't caused any reaction in the slightest."

"What about phasers?" Chekov took out a device and shot a beam of phased energy that whizzed straight through the wisps of my cloudlike form, and smashed a glass jar behind me which scattered shards all around. Landon screamed.

"Pav! What are you doing?" the yeoman shrieked, fire in her blue eyes. "That could have killed it!"

"What's the problem? There was no harm done."

"You didn't know that when you shot it! Do you ever think before you do a thing?"

McCoy and Spock both looked on with eyebrows knowingly raised.

Flustered, Chekov continued, "But Martha, Mister Spock says the creature can't even feel anything. It probably doesn't even have the ability to think!"

"That is unconfirmed, Ensign," Spock imparted. "In fact, I am reminded of an old earth thought experiment known as the floating man theory, established by your philosopher Avicenna. You first imagine a being floating in a void, who cannot perceive external phenomena, not even itself, using any sense organs. Then imagine if said being can be aware of its own existence."

"I… I can't!" exclaimed Chekov. Most minds are not made for these kinds of thoughts. Spock's, however, proved to be the most advanced of them, as I was about to learn.

"Precisely. Perhaps we shall find that out now."

McCoy fidgeted anxiously. "What are you getting at, Spock?"

"I shall attempt to establish the Vulcan mindmeld with the lifeform, Doctor, and if there is any evidence of intelligence, I shall be able to communicate it." Something began to stir, like raindrops hitting the surface of a pool of water. From my containment field, I could discern tactility for the first time, and it simultaneously stabbed through me like teeth plunging into flesh and caressed me like cotton cloth. The fact that I almost immediately understood these sensations caught me off guard, and I later attributed this to the man who opened my nonexistent eyes to everything within the world. From nothing to literally everything. If I could cry out, I would have.

I started to see as Spock could see; it overwhelmed me but I could not turn it off. I sensed hunger and pain and a strange, deep sadness that stemmed either from myself or from the pointed-eared man who was delving deep into my consciousness, searching for something. And more than that: knowledge, memories, restrained emotions, a sense of wonderment that seemed to contain universes, and all the other connections which occur in the developed brain to make reasoning possible, all turned on as easily as flicking a switch.

Spock seemed just as perplexed with what he encountered in my cloud mind. I could see myself from his point of view, watched myself wince and change color, and I wondered if that was how I always appeared. The change became a mass of sentience that waterfalled on me, battering me down and down. I am no judge, but it felt as if the pain went on for eons.

"Remarkable," said Spock, in awe. "It is self aware, if nothing else. It does contain intelligence."

"What is it saying, Spock?" asked Captain Kirk. I do not know when he had entered the lab. "Do you think you can get the creatures to avoid the machinery on the planet?"

"Negative, Captain. Their lack of senses make them intrinsically unaware of their surroundings. They have no control over their effects on the stations." My mind was reeling nauseatingly and I wondered how aware Spock was of what he was doing to me, what I was becoming.

Chekov came closer to me then. "There must be some way we can give them the ability. Mister Spock, what if you constructed some kind of instrument?"

"No!" Landon exclaimed. "You've done your tests. You've learned that they are intelligent beings; they just think differently from us. Captain! Does this not indicate that we must enforce the Prime Directive and leave them alone?"

The rest of the room quieted to an airy stillness, and attention directed en mass to the captain. Kirk's look softened before becoming quite chipper. "Very good, Yeoman. You are, of course, most correct, and appreciated as our moral backbone in this matter. You've done quite well."

She approached him. "Captain, with your recommendation, I think I would like to return to Starfleet Academy, and refocus my position to a more diplomatic one. It seems to me that diplomacy is a skill that could use more representation among Starfleet officers."

Chekov's hurt feelings came out in a pitiable "Martha?"

"Pav, this could be a unique opportunity for me," Landon insisted, though her satisfaction highlighted her soft features and a rare smile appeared on her face. I shared in this proud moment for the respectable yeoman. The logic of her words came filtered through the mindmeld which began to fade as the science officer started to recuperate from his journey into my consciousness.

The captain made a final log entry, deeming it necessary to return me to the surface, dismantle the unmanned station, and let my race control the planet despite our ignorance of its very existence. Perhaps one day, they mused, we would evolve into something greater, organize our communities, and set off on a path into the glittering stars as well.

I could sense the crew members beginning to disperse, even Spock who moved further and further away until I was left literally senseless again, but the memories linger horribly still. Every moment, I am aware of all I cannot perceive, and the knowledge haunts me. None know this, for I cannot communicate it and my species cannot hear it anyway. Lord Byron once said, as I found written in Spock's mind during our intimate moment together, "The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain." I have thus become an artist of invisible works, changed forever by one casual encounter; a sentient being among the clouds.

That’s quite enough of that. Check back here for Chris, Caitlin, and Jake’s stories, keep listening to the podcast, and follow A Star to Steer Her By on Facebook and Twitter. Be sure to tip your yeoman!

#star trek #star trek TOS #fanfic #spock #pavel chekov #sentience #yeoman martha landon #sentient cloud #podcast

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