god the flirting in rush is something else. the way scully lightly smacks mulder on the shoulder with the police report to announce her presence. the way he’s so fucking happy to see her.
later when she plays with his tie and says “please? for me?” with that little pout and those big doe eyes.
boggles my mind that some people don’t believe in the season of secret sex bc look at them. they’re finally giving in to their feelings and they’re having the time of their lives
I’m bad at titles. I guess this falls under “If Mulder’s brain disease was real, why did he hide it from Scully?”
Note: I don’t really have an opinion about Mulder’s Brain Disease as a plot point; treat this as canon-adjacent or canon-divergent as it suits you.
It is hopeless, the doctors say, hopeless, his contacts agree, and he tries and tries to find his own solution - he will not give up - but hopeless is all he finds. They've seen so much, survived so much, he has put her through so much, and coming to the other side of all things to this place that is theirs is so new. No one ever said life was fair.
He remembers what it was to watch her dying. The helplessness, the anger, the desperation as a placeholder for soul-rending despair yet to come. He doesn't want that for her. He doesn't want her scouring journals, sleeping in labs, crying in the shower where she thinks he cannot hear.
She'll be furious when she finds out, he knows; she'll be furious and hurt and might never forgive him. But if this is all they have, he wants to make it count. Whether she suffers a long, drawn out goodbye over the space of months or whether she's furious for the space of weeks or days, he wants her to have something to look back on. He wants to leave her with good memories, happy memories. Something more than bitter regret for how long they took in getting here.
And so he tells her not to worry. To read her journals, work on her manuscripts. Dine with her mother. I'll check it out, he says, and I’ll call you if it's worth our time. And he does. Week after week, he does. He picks cases that are interesting, mysterious. Things that will tease at their shared curiosity and challenge their shared intellect. Things that will let them laugh, and explore, and have fun in that easy way they've so rarely experienced since their first year, since he and Deep Throat drew her into the Syndicate's crosshairs and loss became the third constant companion in their partnership.
He takes her to Huntington Beach, to Smith Mountain Lake, the Shedd Aquarium, a side trip to Nashville and some truly outstanding chicken. He finds reasons to take her west, and if he accidentally drives a little too far south down I-5 while she's napping and lands them in spitting distance of San Diego, well, it'd be a shame to waste the serendipity of an unexpected lunch with her sister-in-law and nephew. He can always finish the paperwork and meet her after.
He kisses her under the same stars in a dozen different states and watches her bloom, no longer the green and puppyfat kid from Quantico but once again graced with her easy smiles and goofy laugh. He takes a picture or two for Maggie, so that when it's all over and he breaks her daughter's heart, she'll know he did his best, that it wasn't all a waste, that for a while, he made their girl happy.
She'll be furious when she finds out, and he feels terribly guilty, but guilt is not a new companion, and her smile could rival the sun.
Some of you might be interested in this Medium essay I wrote a couple years ago. The crazy thing is that a little over a year after I published it, I went through my own ordeal with a seemingly “progressive” church and learned exactly what it means when the church lets you down.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was writing truths to myself before I could really understand them.
Okay, I’m genuinely curious about this. All Things has always been one of my favorite episodes, right from the first viewing as a teenager (despite somehow missing the implication of the first scene?) and I was shocked to hear later about all the hate it apparently received from viewers and critics.
I’ve always wondered if the reported reaction didn’t reflect the fact that those whose voices were more likely to be heard/counted in criticism and fandom back then were predominantly men? Or perhaps, more accurately, viewers belonging to particular cultures of fandom that wail loudly when texts depart from their expectations—cultures met by a critical apparatus more than happy to promote this way of relating to texts? To me, the episode’s formal qualities constitute no especially radical departures (I mean, is the Moby song that shocking?), and so I’ve always had a hard time chalking the reported reaction up to anything beyond an uninterrogated discomfort with affects and topics associated with “the feminine” more broadly. Anyway, I want to hear THOUGHTS.
i now think that mulder and scully started sleeping together after amor fati, but i don’t have a specific first time headcanon bc i don’t think there was any pomp and circumstance surrounding the act. i think that one day they just started doing it as if they had been doing it all along, and never talked about or discussed it or acknowledged it publicly in any way until millennium. the millennium kiss was their nonverbal way of acknowledging that there is a Thing happening between them, and that it’s going to keep happening❤️❤️❤️