#ugh. if he was a virtuous father she’d be a virtuous daughter and therefore all her friends and loved ones would be virtuous as well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cats-in-the-clouds · 25 days

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my sister got engaged and we’re all really happy for her but my bitter rain cloud of a dad (who naturally she told last) is giving her a bit of passive aggressive grief about it despite her boyfriend being like the best man of our generation (presumably either because he’s not catholic or because my dad sees them as young dumb unemployed people who aren’t ready for marriage or because he’s mad he barely has any real love with his own wife or something). so like pray for us? i wish i knew what to do

#if my dad had any brain cells or observational skills whatsoever #he’d realize that in terms of our faith the problem is not the boyfriend. that guy is brilliant and open minded and would probably ace RCIA #the problem is my sister. who is catholic in name but it’s clear to me how hard she’s fallen away from the faith #but like my dad has created such a bitter home environment we never have meaningful conversations with him #so like he doesn’t know *anything* about our inner lives #all he sees is labels. all he judges people by is labels #literally you can still get married in the church to a non catholic it’s just a matter of expecting them to convert eventually #and promising to still live according to the principles of the church and raising your children as such #but my parents are absolute fools if they think that’s the issue. if my sister was true in her faith her bf would have converted already #i am sure of it. the guy is smart he just needs to be guided the right way #evidently my parents don’t realize that about him either #if my dad could become a decent parent for once and stop trying to drive his kids away from the faith by only cherrypicking the parts of it #that intersected with republican/conservative boomerisms #ugh. if he was a virtuous father she’d be a virtuous daughter and therefore all her friends and loved ones would be virtuous as well #should i blame my dad for all our family problems? no.. not rightfully……#but like. the impact a father has on one’s life cannot be understated #ugh i’ve had the sense for a while that God wants me to be the one to fix this family #because looking around it doesn’t look like anyone else is gonna do it #but that’s such a daunting task… especially alone… i don’t have any true friends (ie who share both my faith and life experiences)#and like. it’s really hard to try to assume the role of a teacher or counselor when someone is older than you #or uh. in a position of direct power over you for that matter. esp when clearly deeply mentally ill #the concept of trying to essentially parent my own parent while i myself am miserable and unstable #esp when he is the primary cause of that #just. ughhhhh it’s such a vicious circle #like i’ll do this if i have to i’ll undertake that daunting mission but i have to be so careful and really sort myself out first #or for that matter if i were to volunteer to like. catechize my sister’s boyfriend (heaven knows she couldn’t do it)#i’d have to really study my stuff bc i think the intellect is the only real appeal here #like i said tho his conversion can probably never really happen as long as my sister remains the way she is #what i know is that the first step is fixing myself. i have to be a pillar of virtue if i wanna stand as any sort of authority on the faith #problem is i suck and shouldn’t be regarded as a role model for anything. i have the knowledge down but that alone won’t fix me

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