#uhh also Vampire turned vampire hunter is cool

[freakquarantine]

post game Vice and Astarion become vampire hunters sort of out of necessity methinks

[fukia]

Fionna & Cake final thoughts , opinions and nitpicks lol

This will be unorganized and random and stinky, sorry

• great pacing first 2 eps

• good ideas

• ignoring multiverse saturation, is p decently done here!

• I miss Neil Patrick’s take on Gary/gumball- he sounded so freakin princely :(

• marshall sounded kinda less mischievous than he used to? Like vocally more down or something- I’m super glad he had the same actor tho lol Donaldddd

• I miss old Prismo voice too but I know why these didn’t work out

• Hunter’s voice either could’ve gone for a deep gravely stoicism or could’ve just been w/ the same actor as Huntress Wizard

• Scarab is ehhh- decent design but feels kinda out of place for adventure time- voice is similarly the same offness too, reminded me of kinda bad anime dub voices, it doesn’t feel intentional to the right extent —- either make a more surreal villain or a funnier one, his presence was rather generic

• the spooky faces and scurrying beetle of scarab was kinda funny

• lemongrab. Why justnonce roiland.

• I will end my life a million aeons over for Orbo - bluey’s dad: “say goodbye to your legs!”

• mmmarceline dress

• bubblegum mmmmilitary

• I wish we saw the fucking MOON vampire

• MOON vs STAR (super cool naming if the uh tarot thing is carried on here I legit don’t know if star is an actual tarot card lemme check)

• ORGALORG WHYYYYYY

• marshall n Gary was sweet- but I really wished they played up the bitter exes part before they did just the fluffy dating, bring a bit of parallel consistency

• fionna was good acting! The crying bit made my heart ouches- Character herself was a tad frustrating at times admittedly

• cake is great still - cake and vampire king hilarious

• why no “the star”’s actual dad :(

• BETH SHERMY GIBBON YES YES YES- back to old adventure time: I love the intro theme for Beth and shermy, it’s so melancholic and desolate, cold, with backgrounds that make this so fascinatingly depressing a turn for the land of oo (happy endings impermanent- life goes on kinda deal, so cool, so consistent with adventure time’s own concepts & “everything stays”)

• Simon and Betty made me emotional

• uhh how old was Betty when she starting dating simon? Just offhand lol I’m sure it was fine

• Golbetty had beautiful scenes

• way better simon and Golbetty than that weird adventure time published comic I’m sure some of you read

• the animation is great on some places, other times while well made, feels out of place for adventure time; like it’s trying too hard to be pretty (not the Ice Prince song, stuff like that made sense for adventure time)

• like some bits reminded me of Steven universe’s inconsistencies (same bits that made me really really dislike some of adventure time distant lands’ execution)

• [funny nitpick incoming] like there were points where the characters had really big eyes even tho they r supposed to be dots (not when exaggerating certain emotions cartoonishly, I meant prolonged); adventure time’s deal is keeping them small and kinda hard to decipher

• some bits were just a tinnny too anime that it bothered me, just some! Anime is cool!!!

• I was really expecting or hoping for a Korra styled multi-season just with lesser episodes

• the resolution was��� kinda haphazardly handled

• same with some of the final themes, like w/ simon n betty

• adventure time is kinda known for being almost ambiguously optimistic so the whole super happy thing was kinda strange to me

• I know like it shouldn’t have to be the same as adventure time obviously, but that was the general identity of adventure time; the cosmic ambiguity with absurd humor delivered nonchalantly

• like I think of patience st pim’s ice domain during elements and the melancholic quietness of it - also PATIENCE ST PIM WHYYYYY I LOVED YOU (patiencevstheempresscough)

• ORGALORG COME BACK TO MEEEE

• yes it was a great thing to have this miniseries I enjoyed many parts

• the music was fucking fire!!!

• where was the dr two brains reference ? -3-

[atlas-the-bastard]

I don't usually post non fandom art on here but I'm pretty proud of this :33

these r two characters my best friend and I made for a VERY COOL webcomic we're in the process of creating - mavis (redhead) and her currently unnamed girlfriend because we needed side characters and I felt like she deserved a sapphic relationship 😌

i did use a reference for the pose/clothes but it turned out way better than I was expecting??? kind of insane??

anyway if you want more deets about the characters uhh under the cut bc I want to tell people about this so bad😭

SO (and may I just say thankyou for clicking see more cant believe people want to KNOW about my SILLY LITTLE GUYS)

Mavis (full name mavis nic coitir) is the bassist of a 5 person band in a world pretty much the same as our own except there's monsters n magic n people have powers n shit. dont think about it too hard the world building isn't designed for scrutiny.

Mavis' "power"/ability is mostly that she's just freakishly smart. she's the tech junkie of the group, the gadget girl, all that jazz - and also the biggest pop culture nerd ever. she's also the mom friend, she had adhd, she's 20 years old, Irish, and born on the 10th of february. she's a total loser and also the coolest person you'll ever meet.

she has a shit ton of awesome body mods/cyborgy stuff (which I didn't draw because I didnt feel like it💀), including a prosthetic arm - all of which she made herself.

she (like all of our other characters) is an amalgamation of a bunch of different traits and tropes we thought would be funny or cool, and also because I cant keep my sticky fingers out of anything, is losely inspired by one piece characters (namely franky and nami) - again, like most of our other characters💀

i, being a faggot, needed to give her a girlfriend and my friend said "sure :D". I thought it would be funny if she, being the loser ever, somehow pulled like. a beautiful celebrity or actress. and I think the idea in my head has now kind of morphed into like...a really cool artist/content creator who lives in their city and who everyone knows...so like microcelebrity...but still a celebrity to mavis's band mates. I havent yet run this past my friend, but I'm thinking some flavour of blasian for the gf.

also these aren't their actual outfits I just drew the clothes that were on the reference cos it was easier and also I think I am a lot better at drawing clothing folds now so win win. for the record mavis normally wears like an oversized band/pop culture tshirt and some old cargo pants/overalls.

anyway yeah that's mavis :DDD

(If u wanna know the other 4 band members are Soren Fayez , the seemingly cool calm collected popular girl who is actually a total ditz, and plays violin; Dante (full name Durante Alaric Hunter Dio Galloridge), the vampire vocalist and sometimes keyboardist with big dick energy and chaotic bisexuality; Calvin Smith, drummer and the most normal guy ever - completely trauma and angst free and the himbo ever; and Evan(geline) Mori, guitarist and the black cat to cal's golden retriever, bursting with childhood trauma and a Midwestern emo musical influence. Evan and Cal are in love with each other but Evan is too angsty to do anything and Cal doesn't waste time doing things like using his single braincell to pick up on Evan's faggotry that to anyone else except the two of them is more unsubtle than a giraffe in a swimming pool.)

[havendance]

Santaquest Pt. 4: New Comics Version!

Taking a break from reading the endless old comics holiday anthologies to check out some *new* DC comics!

DC's Twas the Mite before Christmas!

We've got an appearance of who I believe is the real Santa in the Booster Gold story: The Santa Copies.

Booster Gold: Whatever this looks like, I swear-- I didn't kill Santa!

Santa gets hit by some piece of Alien technology that causes anyone who touches him to turn into him! Booster, who had touched him, proceeds to go off and stop a mugging while in Santa Mode:

Rip Hunter: Booster! Get back here!

Only when he touches the muggers, they turn into Santa too! And then they all go off to deliver presents:

Skeets (voice over): "...we've lucked out with the man they're turning into." Booster: Merry Christmas!

Fortunately, Rip Hunter is able to reverse it and things return to normal.

Batman - Santa Claus: Silent Knight #1

This one's from last week, but since we'll also be covering #2, let's get caught up first.

Strange vampires attack some carrollers. When Batman and Robin show up to investigate, none other appears to aid them than Santa Claus! (And also Zatanna)

Santa: I came as soon as I heard. The draug never got Farther than Norther Europe before. For them to be free again and in GOtham City is... ...bad tidings. Prancer (he has glowing eyes and looks rad): Snort. Santa: Easy there, Prancer.

We learn that Batman once trained under Santa Claus! (If I didn't have like 5 other wips I want to get done, I'd almost want to write that story)

Santa: That it has. I've followed your exploits. Robin (Damian): Wait, What-- Batman: We met during my years abroad. He showed me a few things I still use.

This isn't your average Santa though, he's jaded and cool:

Damian: Clau-- You can't be serious. I don't believe in Santa! Santa: You and me both, kid.

Uhh, this is getting kind of long, so let's put in a cut. The rest of issue 1 and issue #2 beneath!

This Santa also doesn't need to worry about Christmas, he spends all his time hunting monsters! (Man there aren't enough exclamation points in these new-fangled comics. I've got to use more in my summary to make up for it!)

Santa: It's fine-- It hasn't needed me to happen in centuries. No, I hunted and trapped all the Draug and somehow they've been set loose again. That's why I'm here. Someone freed them from the catacombs I sealed myself. Deep underground. Only I knew they were there.

The issue ends with the Krampus attacking and injuring Zatanna! Santa once sealed him away, but now he's back!

Batman - Santa Claus: Silent Knight #2

We open with Santa taking Zatanna away for medical treatment. He leaves a message for Batman and his allies and they retreat to a Batcave to view it! During a flashback sequence we learn that Santa and Krampus used to be friends, working together to bring order!

Santa: And one day, hopefully, the carrot alone will be enough. Krampus: Bah! The stick, the stick! Nightwing: Interesting--they brought order to chaos by scaring the wicked.

However, this all came to an end, when Santa mistakenly thought the Krampus had eaten some children and banished him! Once he realized his mistake, it was too late for him to fix it. The next night, the draug are Batman, but Batman calls in Miss Martian, Green Arrow, and Black Canary to help! (And they all look super bad-ass while doing it) In the end of the battle, someone else shows up--Superman!

Superman: You never said-- --that you knew. Santa.

What's Krampus up to? Does Superman also know Santa? Is he upset that his extremely secretive friend kept secrets from him? Will Santa and Krampus be able to reconcile due to Christmas Spirit? All this more I'm sure we'll find out in the next issues.

[maddgical-boy]

First off, no worries, I've been there and I'm glad you didn't force yourself to do it when you didn't have the energy /gen

sjfakhdfklhzfdjsk I'm so happy you like them! And yeah Bailey is very friendly, he's definitely got some trust issues (cough cough fuck you Alan) but he's working through it :) I was definitely a lot less creative with Felix's design, he's sort of a generic vampire, but idk maybe that's a reflection of how he was always pressured to conform with what the Council wanted? (completely making this up on the spot btw lol, most of my worldbuilding is done retrospectively)

As for his age and the camera, yeah 1800s sounds about right (I am. SO bad at remembering what I originally decided. I've had paras whose names changed at least four times.), although I'd say he's loosely familiar with a lot of 20th century technology.. he hasn't been a recluse the WHOLE time lol. Also, you just sent me down a pretty interesting rabbit hole about the history of cameras :) As for the Council, that's definitely a bit older, maybe 1700s (it is surprisingly difficult to find specific dates on the history of vampire hunting so I'm going off of a Nat Geo article and one (1) history blog)

I had to look up Your Turn to Die but that looks really cool!! Mona's an OC right? And yeah I feel that, I have an entire google doc for picrews and I get so protective of all my paras haha

uhh honestly I can't think of many specific songs rn, but anything that's sweet and soft and/or has a fantasy vibe is good. yk the Lindsey Stirling cover of Carol of the Bells? That's the only one I can remember off the top of my head :) I actually tried to draw them dancing (because the daydreams had been more hurt than comfort that week and I thought they deserved some happiness), I'll show you if I ever finish it!

-🎆💜

my worldbuilding is mostly done retrospectively too LOLLL i like... never think about worldbuilding in my paracosms and stories lowkey. but i think that's a really cool concept for felix's design, plus it could change a bit over time as he learns to be himself more (which would be an excuse to change up his design if you ever wanted to dafkjsaskjdfrd i do that with my paras a lot bc i am Never Satisfied. honestly i'd change my paras' names too because i have 3 characters with the same name entirely on coincidence but i never change them. am i lazy? do i feel like they might get offended somehow? :shrug:)

also i somehow didn't know that there were real vampire hunters 💀 (though probably not searching for real vampires, just a societal panic i assume) when i looked it up i was recommended this video if that is your speed (and also i remembered this one by ask a mortician). but also what is this history blog im intrigued ahaehee

yes mona is an oc! (toyhouse profile) also i really vibe with your organization of a whole doc for picrews of your paras, that is smart and i need to get on that (bc i have nowhere to put them they're just scattered everywhere)! i am also protective of my blorbos from my brain but i also like putting them through The Horrors (though i guess at the end of the day they are safe and sound in our minds... or not... who knows (ominous))

ALSO OML I LOVE HER COVER OF CAROL OF THE BELLS 💕 and i would super love to see your drawing when you finish it (i think i have it set to anon can share images but i'm gonna check rn lolol)

[terristre]

Could we perhaps get some info on your OCs? Their designs are so cool and they seem really interesting :)

jidsajidoasjiodas SCREAMS sorry its been like a week im just so happy i needed it to be good

uhh heres a good place to start for lore-grounding! alexander graves is a ghost from the 1500s who now serves in the court of the queen of monsters, notably being the only male member of the high court. hes far from a strong fighter, though his strengths are that as a ghost he cannnot die- and that for a ghost, hes VERY good at pretending to be alive

he has a confident, well-spoken air about him but its not hard to pin him as a more introverted, even shy person under it. the sort of person who would prefer keep their head down and go back to their business quietly, but one who holds the people close to him in an adoring regard. (hes NOT in the high court for his power after all- his value is in his kindness) hes been a diligent seamster since a young age & in-canon most of the clothing designs of characters under the queen can be credited to him lol

marcus deangelo THE BIRD BOY OF ALL TIME is alex's notably more introverted angel son. he tends to take the role of the silly goon/errand boy in the queens court & forms a light-hearted team rocket-esque duo with the plague doctor to take back pandora's box, stolen from the queen & brought to the monster hunters

marcus is an immediately curious character because he fits the high-energy genki archetype like a glove & has nothing but positivity for others- but his philosophy towards his own life & future are absolutely bleak. and the thing to pin about him is, he isnt really all that dumb- its more a mix of lack of worldly knowledge & this ascetic fold of catholicism where Bad Things Happen To Me Because I Somehow Deserve Them so he has LITTLE self-preservation & accepts misfortune without a fight

alexander holds the same self-poisoning principles, but marcus is the only one naive enough to say the quiet parts out loud. its not something the man ever pushed upon his sons but rather something they adopted themselves after seeing it from their role model. congrats to them for inheriting all their fathers positive traits AND his negative traits theyre both adopted btw

YES THIS IS AN INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA PLOTLINE anyways marcus talks to animals all the time & it makes other people think he actually has the power to communicate with them but He Does Not. also sometime his misinformed beliefs about the world will coincidentally line up with what europeans thought in medieval times & its like. who told you that buddy. HOMESCHOOLING if i dont know it you dont either LMAO

OUR BAT FRIEND IS THE PLAGUE DOCTOR! appearances can be deceiving my friend shes a recently-turned vampire whose only powers, really, are turning into a bat & burning in sunlight <:3c she refused to swear loyalty to the queen of monsters but couldnt bring herself to return to her old life Now Thats Shes A Monster so shes just kinda been. tossed around the court until she tragically rattled down to The Fuckers Whose Entire Personalities Are Being Catholic

if there is a musical episode the plague doctor is the one who goes WOAH WAIT WHATS GOING ON every day she wakes up & tries SO HARD to understand whats happening around her. shes definitely struggling to keep her miserable life together but despite that her kindness & good humor tend to shine through, most of the others actually quite enjoy her company the problem is shes always like "IM BETRAYING YOU GUYS FIRST CHANCE I GET"

but yeah as mentioned she makes for a good duo with marcus, hes great at fighting & she actually understands human society so together they make One Functional Person when venturing out of monster society lol. curiously for someone who doesnt want to be there, the plague doctor chose to assist in the chase for pandora's box of her own free will

[mimicmew]

Updated list and info of the species in the Monster AU!

Since some people seemed interested.. here we go!

If you’d like to add your OC or make a new character for this au, use these as a basis! Feel free to ask me any questions if you’re curious or unsure. ALSO IT’S VERY LONG

Humans

CANON CHARACTERS: none lol

- Humans are the basic species of this world.

- They can rarely learn magic and become mages, but most cannot.

- Most humans fear and hate monsters, hunting them down and killing them.

- The Pale Kingdom, regarded as the most hateful kingdom, is currently under attack from a dangerous dragon and it’s siren ‘companion.’ They have managed to cool this by sending regular sacrifices to the ocean.

Sirens

CANON CHARACTERS; Mono, Thin Man

- Sirens are very uncommon, as many of them are hunted down by other species when young, as they are very dangerous.

- Sirens live in pods consisting of 3-15 members. These pods usually exist of siblings from the same hatching, and rarely separate pods fuse to make larger groups. This is uncommon as Sirens are often quite territorial.

- Babies are called pups.

- Sirens never cut their hair, unless they lose a battle. A siren with long hair is to be feared, as they are undefeated in combat.

- For design, Sirens have normal skin colours until their waist, where it fuses into scales. These scales are usually cool colours such as blue, green or purple, and fade into a darker or lighter shade down their tails. They have fins on the sides of their faces that open and close as they emote. They have bright spots across their tail, face and hands. The spots are usually warm colours such as red, yellow or orange. These spots are different shapes depending on where the Siren is from. The only canon ones right now are the eye-shaped spots that both Mono and Thin Man have, so go wild with the shapes! They’ll usually wear shirts as a way of mimicking humans.

- Their magic can be very varied, but is always tied to their voices. A siren without a voice is a dead siren.

- Siren’s grow for their entire life! They grow to about 8 ft by 18, and then they grow roughly half a metre a year, so as you could guess, Thin Man is very long.

Centaurs

CANON CHARACTERS; The Hunter, The Toddler

- Centaurs live in large herds, ranging anywhere from 20 to over 100.

- They live in both forests and open plains.

- They are very naturalist and believe in not taking any more then they need.

 - They have a belief that the face (Particularly the eyes) is the most vulnerable place for spirits to enter, so at a certain age, (around 5 years old) they begin to wear masks. This can range anywhere from beautifully hand-carved wooden masks to just… a sack.

- Centaurs have long hair that runs down their back like a mane. It’s not uncommon for centaurs of any age, no matter the gender, to grow out beards or chest hair. 

Gorgons

CANON CHARACTERS; The Lady, The Lady’s unnamed mother

- Gorgons come from a long line of cursed humans, which have split off to its own species. They are very rare and usually exist in powerful families.

- Gorgons are almost only female, and can reproduce with the same sex.

- Gorgons have rock-hard scales that are always muted colours. Their underbellies are a lighter colour. The snakes that make up their ‘hair’ can be any colour.

- Gorgon’s eyes can turn people into stone through their eyes, so most cover their eyes.

Harpies

CANON CHARACTERS; Raincoat Girl

- Harpies are tall, with their human arms replaced by large bird-like wings. Their legs are much like that of a bird of prey’s. The can have feathers on any place of their bodies.

- They often resemble an existing species of bird, from a bright scarlet macaw to a pitch-black crow.

- Some harpies live in large flocks, while others live alone.

- they usually wear long singlets that do not cover their shoulders, as to avoid restricting their wings.

- They often gather odd trinkets and items.

Fauns

CANON CHARACTERS; Runaway Kid

- Fauns are the deer-like cousins of centaurs

- They usually live alone in dense forests, but can sometimes be seen travelling with centaur herds.

- They have horns that can be any shape, and long, floppy ears.

Gargoyles

CURREN CHARACTERS; The Janitor, The Wax Bellman

- Not much to say, usually just enchanted statues. Aren’t always made of stone, and can be made of most materials.

- Can really look like anything.

- Usually made to serve a master.

- Don’t need to eat, sleep or drink. 

Changelings

CANON CHARACTERS; The Pretender

- Changelings are creatures that, after having a hatchling, will sneak into a human’s house, usually kill or dispose of the human’s child and replace it with their own. Because of this, many changelings grow up unaware of the fact that they are changelings until they grow older.

- They have two forms, a regular human one, and a more monstrous one, often resembling some kind of insect or reptile.

Cyclops

CANON CHARACTERS; The Twin Chefs, The Lollipop boy

- uhh just big Cyclops honestly not much in terms of lore or design.

- Usually very tall and large.

Zombies

CANON CHARACTERS; The Viewers, Some of the Guests, The Doctor

- Zombies can be made in many ways. However, the ones in this area are specifically made by the haunting songs of the Siren.

- They are killed by the first song, then slowly revived by the second, usually over a timespan of about 5 months.

- These zombies are mostly unfortunate humans who got too close, or sacrifices. They can be of any species, however.

Werebeasts

CANON CHARACTERS: Six (werewolf)

- Werebeasts are a collection of species. Some of the most well known are the Werewolves, but many more exist, such are wereboars, werebears and werecats.

- They usually resemble humans, but after some time will shift into a monstrous half-humna, half-animal form. Some will change back, while others will remain like that forever.

- They act very similar to their animals. Some are more human, while others are almost entirely beast.

Ghosts

CANON CHARACTERS; The Sheet Kid, The Glitching Remains

- Just funky little ghosts! usually only of people who died tragic deaths :( 

- Usually have stains on their face resembling tears, and can seem like they are fading away, missing parts of their bodies.

Dragons

CURRENT CHARACTERS; The Eye, The ‘Hunger’, The North Wind

- Ancient and powerful beasts, dragons are the most dangerous species to roam this world.

- If you’re going to make a dragon, try to use it for very powerful entities. Double check with me if you’re unsure.

- They can really look like anything, as there are many subspecies, such as wyverns, wyrms, hydras and more. However, they are unfortunately dying out at a rapid rate.

- They cannot die of old age, only of illness or injury.

- They usually have very strong magical abilities.

- While not always evil, most dragons will horde things. These can be jewels, people, plants or anything really.

ALSO:

Here are some species that might exist, but I dont have any proper lore on yet

- Shapeshifters

- Vampires

- elementals (living elements)

- half-borns (people who are half-animal, half-human)

- Fae

- Selkie

And these are just the ‘sentient’ species! Many mythical animals exist too, such as Phoenix or Unicorn, but are only. animals

[jordanlahey]

Hey could you write something about dwayne finding out his soulmate is a vampire hunter and the opposite and they get into a fight about it and she leaves but some days after that (after not seeing or talking to him at all) she visits him to give him his stuff back but they end up having sex and getting back together? If of course you write smut? If not then just fluff at the end. Thank lover!!~~~

A/n: I tried to write smut but it was straight up terrible so I couldn’t carry on with it so I tried making it a little fluffy instead, I hope you don’t mind. Sorry for it taking a while college is a nightmare 🤧

You two were perfect. "Were" perfect. Dwayne was perfect, the guy of your dreams! Tall, Dark and Handsome. The kind of guy you would do anything to be with or do anything to get noticed by him and you were lucky to his. Everything was going well until you both of you revealed something neither of you wanted each other to know and it didn't go well from there. You both were from two completely different worlds, you lived in the light while he lived in the dark.

You had tracked down a small coven of vampires near the beach, feeding off the poor souls of drunken young adults. Of course no one else seemed bothered by the screaming since the were very secluded and the fact that their radio was blaring music so it drowned out any noise. You hid behind the trees observing the vampires and waiting for them to have their guard down. The coven was all a bunch of teenage boys, laughing and yelling like they were so proud of themselves and how funny the found it that they just slaughtered a bunch of innocent people but even so something still didn't seem right to you it wasn't the stench of burning flesh or blood stains left on the sand it was one of the boys.

One of the boys you seemed to recognised and at first you didn't realise until he turned around. It was Dwayne. Your Dwayne. Dwayne that was always so soft and affectionate towards you and had just helped slaughter a bunch of people. You were frozen, you didn't move from your spot you didn't look away from where Dwayne was standing and you weren't even thinking either. Just letting everything sink in. It was a good few minutes you sat staring into space before you heard someone clear their throat behind you causing you to flinch at them.

The boys were all standing a good few meters behind you, you could tell that the other three felt a little awkward standing there behind Dwayne who was the closest to you, like always his face was unreadable you couldn't tell what was going through his head. The three boys left while Dwayne stayed where he was not taking his eyes off you, it felt like you were staring at each other for hours. There was no doubt he figured out why you were there given the fact you are armed as well it wasn't for a midnight stroll.

"How long were you standing there." His voice was deep and toneless it sent shivers down your spine, if you knew anything about vampires is that they can be unpredictable there is a chance that you might you might die tonight unless he spares you.

"Long enough." You try to match his tone but you weren't the best at hiding your emotions, this is Dwayne for crying out loud! Your boyfriend is a vampire what were the chances!? "This is bad." You kept repeating those three words to yourself while you paced back and forth, Dwayne was calm watching you pace around. "Uhh! you're not suppose to be a vampire!" You almost yelled a little too loudly.

"Y/n."

"No, why did it have to be you? Why? You were perfect we were perfect. I loved you!" You ranted as you continued to pace back and forth occasionally looking at him. "How could you keep this from me?" He stopped you mid step and held you by your shoulders.

"You kept this from me too, you know." He snapped at you, his eyes flashing yellow. you've never seen Dwayne angry, he was always calm in those situations to say the least it did frighten you a little bit.

"Don't turn this on me, I don't kill people for fun." You sneered back, this didn't make him any happier obviously. "Or kill innocent people." You added.

"You also kill people like us, I think we're even." Dwayne stared you down and you rolled your eyes at him. Pfft people.

"Vampires aren't people, the person they were before died the moment they tasted human blood." You hissed, Dwayne shoved you out of his grip and stomped away.

"Humans aren't any better. You're just good to us." That stung, it hurt to hear your boyfriend say that whether he was talking about humans in general or not it still hurt.

"Well then. At least I know where this was heading." You look down at your feet, you were holding back tears and digging your nails into the palms of your hands to hold yourself together.

"Oh come on Y/n, you know I didn't mean it like that." He turned to look at you but you refused to look at him.

"Whatever." You went to walk away and you knew he wasn't going to follow you. Dwayne wasn't one to chase you down he was going to wait until you both cooled off. Today marks the day that you had your first and quite possibly your last argument with your boyfriend.

It had been a week since you last spoke or seen Dwayne, you never bothered to leave the house at night to go meet him at the boardwalk everything you needed to do you did in the daytime where you obviously wouldn't run into him. However you weren't over or finished with him yet, you had stuff to give back to him sure that 'stuff' was a bracelet that he had made you when you first started dating. that night you got home you took it off as you headed to your bedroom.

You were deciding whether you would head to the boardwalk or head to the cave, you had only been there a few times and you would have to walk there too. You decide to try the cave it would give you a chance to actually think things through and it was still light outside which meant you would possibly get there just before sun down. It was taking a lot of guts to leave your house, you kept fighting with yourself internally and promising that you'll go and then leave again in a hurry so that there is no room for mistakes but do you really have that much self control?

Your internal argument lasted long enough to get to the cave, your feet were on autopilot the whole time almost like you had blanked out and you were right the sun had set as you entered the cave. They weren't up yet which was kind of a relief you could just leave it on the fountain and leave, quick and easy.

Easier said than done. You stood in the middle of the cave, laying down the bracelet on the edge of the fountain carefully and you found yourself looking around at the place. Everything held memories like the couch, you would both cuddle up while he would read to you and not to mention the heated make out sessions that were cut short cause of a certain peeping tom a.k.a Paul. Everything came back and you found yourself giggling a few times at some fond memories you had completely forgotten about everything else as you took a trip down memory lane.

Dwyane was the first to wake up this time. Out of habit since the incident all boys have tried to keep an ear out for any intruders or at least be on guard while trying to sleep. Soft giggles had brought Dwayne out of his sleep, he knew where those came from or more exactly who they came from. He climbed up into a ledge where he could see you but still out of sight, you were just standing there looking around as he fondly watching you from above. He swore to himself he wouldn't invade your privacy but he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious to know what you were giggling about so he looked and the same thing happened to him fond memories that make you both happy came flooding back. Maybe there could be a possibility that you both would overcome your two different 'upbringings'.

You sighed, you overstayed your welcome and it was clear none of them were up yet and the longer you stayed the more you didn’t want to leave so with any will power left you turned to walk out. A hand gently grabbed your wrist causing you to jump slightly you couldn’t react fast enough but it was Dwayne, who else would it be? You both didn’t say a word to each other still, just looking at each other.

The other boys slowly woke up, Paul and Marko being the last joined David as he just stared at you two.

“They haven’t even said a word to each other, like what are they doing man?” Paul whined, he was hungry obviously.

“Can we leave the statues to their very interesting conversation?” Marko rolled his eyes, David huffed and they walked out unnoticed by the two.

“I...cant remember why I came here.” You did but the actual meaning of why you did was completely forgotten about, Dwayne still had a hold of your wrist and he held up the bracelet in front of you. You watched him put it back on your wrist and after he intertwined your fingers.

“You’re not ready to let go.” He spoke, you only listened. There was truth to that, you weren’t ready and Dwayne wasn’t malicious...well Towards you at least and if he were to hurt you he would have done so already. “I’m not ready either.” He finished. You sighed and you let him pull you into his chest.

“This. Can work?” You asked

“We’ll figure it out on the way and we’ll try be more careful on our pickings.” He was speaking on the behave of the boys but something tells you they won’t take the change lightly at least for the time being.

[shachihata]

i summarize video game series that i genuinely do not know anything about besides what i've picked up on through cultural osmosis

resident evil: there's a corporation that made evil bioweapon zombies except somewhere along the way genuine black magic and cults got involved for no reason and now ethan winters can glue his hand back on including the jacket sleeve it was formerly attached to. where's the twink leon he was cute

fallout: nuclear apocalypse julius caesar is in this one. ummmmm there's a robot detective with yellow eyes right. are you delivering mail or some shit like your player character is called the courier????? There's a fight between the caesar legion and another group somewhere in there???????

castlevania: alucard and other vampires in a castle that looks different in every game umm a family of vampire hunters are involved too. I think alucard is gay but he's in a comphet relationship with the blond girl in green armor. Yeah i don't know the overarching plot of this one besides the fact that dracula keeps getting beaten up every single game

half life: ok i don't actually know anything about actual half life besides my brief stint with hlvrai i think this one's post apocalyptic im gonna guess there's something with a nuclear explosion because like. radioactive half life or whatever. uhh there's a secret dimension of aliens that the gman is associated with. Oh gordon freeman in the newer games is a dilf he's like fighting the aliens or something man idk

megaman: I Think this one is also post apocalyptic except there's robots instead of humans? ummm there's a bunch of "-man" characters besides megaman that megaman has to fight. i think megaman is the protag trying to save the "good" robots from getting destroyed except sometimes the games mix it up so there's a megaman with a different name i think it's like "X" or something that has to do it for megaman

red dead redemption: COWBOYS i heard of em. yeah idk the plot its called "redemption" so its probably. like you did something wrong and have to go travel with cowboys to redeem yourself. Wait isn't it choice-based open world though. ok maybe you can choose whether you're a redeemed cowboy or not. there are a LOT of dilfs in this one i think

dishonored: there's the guy with the black eyes who gives you a whale stamp on the back of your hand that lets you do magic i know this one b/c i think the way people draw that guy is either cute or super homoerotic. Uhhh you're like accused of killing the queen or something right like you're. literally "dishonored" and have to redeem yourself. Idk why there's like 3 games about that though

final fantasy: sephiroth drip meme all i need to know next question

kingdom hearts: actually i get kingdom hearts and final fantasy mixed up is. is kh the one with sephiroth in it im gonna look so bad if it is. Anyway mickey mouse is in this one. You're like defending earth from these inky shadow dudes OH there's an enemy that's like two corpses with a bar driven thru their heads i think because my cousin played this when i was younger and i was so scared by that guy. Wait maybe it was final fantasy that had that enemy. WAIT maybe it was persona FUCK

persona: im doubting myself now i'm pretty sure sephiroth isn't from persona though. this is like a semi slice of life dating sim mixed with a battle rpg i think. You can like. summon your "persona" to fight and the battle layout looks cool??? idk what you're fighting against though is it like a madoka magica situation where that superhero cat turns against you. Sorry joker for disrespecting you i think he looks neat

metal gear: snake. solid snake. gay little otacon. Someone tells snake to get the fries at mcdonald's because he needs the energy but he can't because his ass claps too loud. Fuck i don't actually know the plot of this outside of memes and smash bros SHIT does snake go on like secret spy missions to take down some mysterious enemy organization or something. Fuck

yakuza: i've seen a gif from yakuza used to reply to fucking everything i'm not sure there's something that this game ISN'T about. Well it's like the japanese mafia right. i'm guessing there's like a good mix of fighting and also family drama with all these weird yakuza dilfs. Like is there a custody battle somewhere in there

fire emblem: there's like 40 games in this elaborate dating sim and for what. all i hear about this one is people talking about romance strategies to maximize battle compatability with their datemate of choice. Doesn't it follow that marth dude as he tries to take back his kingdom or something I don't know i don't think that's the primary focus of the game anyway. Go grind for relationship points or something

[jingabitch]

Armed to the Fangs ch.3

Summary: You grew up in the Hunter’s Guild, understanding that it is your sacred duty as a hunter to protect humanity from the vampires that lurk in the dark, draining the life from anyone unlucky enough to be caught. While making the rounds one night, you encounter Taehyung, a fabled born vampire - not that you know that when he tries to entice you into a dark alley. Next thing you know, you’re kidnapped and taken to their home, where you realise that all of them somehow crave your blood and seem to know more about your past than you do. Finding out about where you came from might be the key to setting humanity free.

Pairing: eventual ot7 x reader

Warnings: some description of violence, angst, pining, eventual smut, slow burn, minor sexual content (i dont even know if it counts)

Word count: 3.2k

A/N: hope you guys enjoy this!! it’s more slow burn and setting up but the plot is inching forward.

Series index

You ended up staying in that room for three days. It was a good thing there was an en suite bathroom, although come to think of it, you weren’t sure if vampires even had bodily functions. There was a lot you didn’t know about them, you were coming to realize.

Unfortunately, because you didn’t have much to do after exhausting all the ideas you had for escaping, you pretty much just worked out, showered, washed your clothes in the sink and took naps while waiting for your clothes to dry. You had no choice but to basically lie around and get lost in your thoughts, and that was never a good idea for you. With so much time on your hands, your thoughts inevitably turned to darker musings, like whether the Head knew about these vampires, and why he kept it secret from everyone.

Come to think of it, what did they mean when they said they were figuring it out? Figuring what out? After Jimin’s visit, they’d left you alone for the most part, although they served you three meals a day religiously. The meals were beautifully prepared and delicious, which was also confusing. Did they have human servants who knew how to cook? Did one of the seven mysterious brothers cook? Could vampires taste food?

Initially, you’d been blasé enough about it, figuring that the others would come to rescue you in short order, and everything would be fine. But when you woke up on the third morning and realized that you were still locked in that room, you began to panic. Three days was as long as you could be gone from the Guild.

When your breakfast was delivered – a hearty abalone porridge topped with crushed seaweed that honestly smelled better than anything you’d ever eaten at the Guild – you sat up quickly to catch whoever it was who’d brought your food before they left, clutching the sheets to your bare chest. You’d left your clothes in the bathroom drying after your evening workout, and gone to bed nude.

“Hey,” you croaked in your gross morning voice. You hadn’t spoken yet today, and it definitely showed. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Good morning.” No harm buttering him up, right? It was the cute, doe-eyed one you’d woken up to the last time, and you wondered if he’d be a little more pliant if you were nice to him, since threatening to shoot his brains out hadn’t exactly worked out in your favour so far. Live and learn, as they say.

Jungkook, who’d been studiously avoiding looking at you – or inhaling your scent – looked over in shock at you and regretted it a second later. He and his brothers took turns bringing you your meals, and from their discussions about it, you seemed to alternate between completely ignoring their presence and demanding to be set free or for more information about why you were being kept here, and he’d expected that since it was still pretty early, he’d be in and out without much interaction with you.

It seemed that the powers that be were bored today, because they’d seen fit to torture him on this fine morning. He was a good person, he thought. Maybe he sometimes struggled with controlling his hunger, compared to his brothers, but he was the youngest, and he was working on it, okay? He tried his best! He shouldn’t be faced with the ultimate temptation of his mate, naked and in his bed, holding the sheet to her chest and actually being nice to him for once.

You raised a brow as Jungkook just stared at you wordlessly, his jaw open.

Then you saw his eyes flicker, changing colour for a second. It was enough for you to grab your gun from under the pillow, aiming it at him with your right hand as you continued holding the sheet over your chest with the left.

“Hey, whoa,” he protested, his hands in the air as his lower lip slid out in a slight pout. “I thought we were past that.”

You pointed your gun at him more insistently, if it were even possible. “I saw your eyes change colour! I’m not going to be a sitting duck while you try to kill me,” you accused.

Jungkook flushed, and you stared in awe. He really was unfairly beautiful, you thought reluctantly, not wanting to admit that one of your captors, and a member of the species you had been taught were soulless, vicious predators, was so attractive. Really, if he’d been a human man you’d have been all over that in an instant.

“I wasn’t trying to kill you,” he defended himself, his pout intensifying.

“Are you telling me I’m seeing things?” you asked incredulously.

“No, I…” He frowned as he trailed off, not sure how to explain to her that he’d gotten turned on. It wasn’t his fault! She was literally lying naked in his bed.

You raised a brow at him, clearly not willing to back down without a clearer explanation, and he wished, for the thousandth time, that his mate wasn’t a scary hunter who was all too eager to blow his brains out at the slightest provocation. In fact, he wasn’t sure why all of them were still alive at this point, given the way you waved your gun around.

“Uh… vampires’ eyes change not just because of hunger, but physiological arousal in general…” he offered hesitantly, before cringing away. You wasn’t going to shoot him, were you? It didn’t occur to him until after he’d said it that you might take that as an even worse insult. Who knew what would set you off, really?

Instead, the hand holding the gun fell to the bed as you gaped at him in shock. “Oh…” you murmured, looking down awkwardly as you flushed. Jungkook could hear the blood rushing through your veins as your heart rate sped up and looked up at the ceiling so you wouldn’t notice his eyes change colour again.

There was something he was supposed to tell you, but it completely slipped his mind as the only thing he could focus on at the moment was leaving as quickly as possible to wallow in his own misery and embarrassment somewhere else. Jesus, of course he would be the first of his brothers to make a fool of himself in front of their new mate.

“Wait!” you stopped him as he scuttled towards the door. Embarrassment or no, leaving this place was your main focus right now. You had to get home by today.

Jungkook paused, his hand on the lock, and turned to give you an inquiring look. “Do you know when I’ll be free to go?” you asked, placing your free hand on the mattress in front of you as you leaned closer.

“Uhh…” Jungkook gave you a wide-eyed stare, his gaze flickering down and then returning resolutely to your eyes. Your question had actually reminded him of what he’d originally intended to say. “An agreement was reached last night; they’re sending someone to come get you today.”

There was a lot more that he wasn’t allowed to tell you, and from the way you squinted suspiciously at him, you had picked up on his caginess, but thankfully you were distracted enough by the prospect of getting to go home, and you just nodded in acknowledgement. “Thank you,” you said, more politely than he’d heard you say anything in the past couple of days, and although he knew it was just your joy at being away from what you deemed to be soulless monsters, his heart couldn’t help but warm at the way your lips quirked up in an almost-smile.

Once Jungkook had departed, you quickly got out of bed and got dressed, then ate the porridge he’d left for you. It really was nice, and under different circumstances you’d have been more vocal about your appreciation for the food.

It was Namjoon who came to get you, the one you’d dubbed in your mind as Mr. Tall and Stoic, since you didn’t know any of their names. You were ready and waiting for him, in all your clothes with your weapons back in place, more than eager to leave.

He led you through the hallways of the massive compound, and because this was the first time you were seeing it, since you’d been unconscious when they brought you to the room, you looked around curiously. It was decorated like a Victorian manor, complete with dramatic stairs down to the foyer, and a giant painting with the seven brothers hung on the wall behind the steps.

“Jesus,” you murmured to yourself, barely audibly, as you gazed at the painting. You’d seen five of them, but the other two men in the painting were strangers. All of them were beautiful, of course, but somehow you found yourself being drawn to the one with a long face, a delicate, sloping nose. He wasn’t smiling – none of them were – but the somber expression sat wrong on his face somehow, sending a pang through your heart.

He looked like he’d been through a tragedy, based on the slightly strained lines around his mouth and his cool gaze, and you felt the bizarre urge to stroke his face.

Namjoon, noticing the way that Hoseok had caught your attention, pursed his lips to hide his smile. Based on your scent, he’d already been fairly sure that you had some connection to Minhee, Hoseok’s mate, but this was just further evidence to him. Your sudden appearance in their lives meant more than any of them had initially thought, and he couldn’t help but wonder if this meant that things were finally turning around.

“Jennie-unnie!” You greeted the hunter who’d come to get you enthusiastically, all but flying across the foyer to her. To her credit, the older girl just grinned at you and opened her arms, letting you slam into her as she hugged you. There were more hunters behind her, senior members of the Guild, but you ignored them for the moment.

“You’ve had quite the adventure, haven’t you?” she asked, quirking a brow at you.

You pouted up at her. “It’s not like I wanted this,” you whined. Now that you were going home and around one of your closest friends, your demeanor was visibly more relaxed, and Namjoon, as well as Seokjin who was standing in the foyer as well, looked on in a mix of jealousy and fondness. They knew why you were on guard around them, but it still stung that their mate had this cute side they weren’t aware of.

“I know, sweetie,” she soothed, brushing your hair off your face. “You ready to go?”

You nodded eagerly, separating from her as you prepared to walk out. Before you could even take a step, however, Namjoon and Seokjin stepped forward. “We’re coming too,” was all Seokjin said. You hadn’t seen him since the first night, so you just gaped at him. The elders, however, just nodded and started moving off.

Jennie shrugged at you, and helplessly, you trailed after them, wondering just what was going on. There was no way this was normal – vampires being allowed into the Guild headquarters?

You didn’t have much time to think about it, though, because soon enough you were being ushered into one of the vehicles that were parked in the massive driveway. Of course they had such a ridiculously lavish place, you thought, taking your seat in the armoured car next to Jennie. The vampires didn’t get into the same car as you, so you didn’t know where they were or how they were getting to the Guild, but you thought rather spitefully that it would make sense if they turned into bats and flew there.

When you arrived back at the headquarters, the Head’s personal assistant-slash-bodyguard was there waiting for you. You sighed – this was not good news. You were probably going to get the scolding of your life for being so incompetent as to get caught, and then stupid enough that you weren’t able to figure out how to get out of there without being rescued.

“Master Bang wants to see you in his office. Report there in half an hour.” With that, he turned and walked away.

Jennie was looking at you with concern, and opened her mouth to say something comforting to you. Feeling bad about how much you’d inconvenienced everyone already, you forced yourself to smile, putting on a brave face to reassure her. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, unnie. At least he gave me some time to freshen up, so it can’t be that bad.”

They were, as they say, famous last words, but you didn’t know that then.

You opened the door to your bedroom and stepped in, immediately being accosted by your baby.

“Injeolmi!” You fell to your knees to greet your cat, who was meowing loudly at you. “Oh, I’m so sorry baby for leaving for so long, are you okay?” You picked him up for a cuddle, looking over the room. The litterbox was a mess and stank to high heaven, of course, but thanks to your foresight, it didn’t look like he’d gone hungry. You’d managed to rig a contraption to release the right amount of food into his bowl three times a day, so even if you weren’t around for a couple of days he would be fine. It wasn’t the first time you’d been gone for longer than usual, although you’d never been gone quite so long before.

Unfortunately, because the container you’d used could only hold three days’ worth of food, that was as long as you could be gone for. Sighing, you put him down and went to clean up the litterbox, wrinkling your nose at him as you got a large trash bag to dump out the litter. The whole situation in there was disgusting enough that just scooping out the poop wouldn’t be enough. “You’re lucky you’re so cute,” you muttered at him as you emptied out the litter, tying off the trash bag to cut off the stench, then got a fresh bag of cat litter.

Once that was settled, you went to your bathroom to wash your hands and refill his water bowl, then opened the window and lit a scented candle to combat the smell, which was still somewhat eye-watering.

Your irritation at the disgusting task was ameliorated, however, by Injeolmi going to lap at the fresh water you’d set out for him. Your heart squeezed at how cute he was even when doing mundane things, and even though you knew you shouldn’t disturb him, you couldn’t help going to pet him.

When he was done, you got his bag of treats out, opening a plastic sachet of Churu and waving it enticingly in front of him. You laughed lightly at his enthusiasm for the snack. Unsatisfied with just letting you hold it in front of him and squeeze the tuna-scented paste out, he’d actually placed his front paws on your hand to hold the snack to him.

“Oh, you love it, don’t you, baby?” you spoke to him in a silly baby voice, smiling indulgently at him. “You’re such a good boy, my son,” you cooed at him. He ignored you, of course, too absorbed in eating his treat.

When it was all gone, you disposed of the plastic packet and went to take a shower to freshen up before your scolding from the Head. It didn’t take long to get ready – you were an expert at quick showers by now – and you dressed yourself in a plain black turtleneck and jeans. Your outfit was intentionally chosen to make you look like a competent hunter, just like everything about the persona you showed him. He didn’t even know about Injeolmi, the cat you’d adopted after finding him as a kitten on the streets during your rounds two years ago.

Speaking of which, Injeolmi meowed plaintively and took a few steps towards you when you exited the bathroom and made to leave the room, causing you to panic. “Stop, baby, you’re going to get cat hair on my clothes!” That would definitely be a disaster, you thought, cringing. “I’ll see you soon, baby. Love you!” you said as you left your room.

You raced all the way to Master Bang’s office, knowing that you were cutting it really close with the timing because of all the time you’d spent lavishing love on Injeolmi. Standing outside his door, you took a deep breath, patting your hair back into place so it didn’t look like you’d rushed here, then knocked on the door.

“Come in,” he said, the sound slightly muffled by the wood.

You entered, already starting to greet him before you caught sight of the two vampires who’d followed you back to the Guild already in the office, and the words dried up in your throat. “Uh…” you said intelligently, then cursed at yourself internally.

“Yes, come sit down, we have some things to discuss,” Master Bang said, gesturing at the seat between the two vampires. Hesitantly, you made your way over, sitting gingerly in it. Your butt was perched on the very edge of the seat, and your back was ramrod straight, every inch of you radiating discomfort at being so close to them.

“We have come to an agreement,” Master Bang started. “Seokjin made an excellent point about this being a prime opportunity to improve human-vampire relations.”

You were sure your mouth was hanging open unattractively. Human-vampire relations? Was this some kind of joke? You stared incredulously at the man who’d taught you to shoot a gun and explained to you the moment you could understand words that vampires were evil and would drain you in an instant given half a chance.

Before you could voice your doubts, however, he’d continued. “The vampire clan has formally requested an ambassador.”

You blinked in response.

“You will be going to live with them as the representative from the Guild, effective immediately.” He concluded his instructions and sat back, his arms folded across his chest in a manner that brooked no opposition.

“Sir, please –” you tried to reason with him, let him know that this was definitely not a good idea. The thought of leaving the only home you’d ever known and going to live with a bunch of predators made your stomach turn, but he was having none of it.

“Pack up your things. You’re leaving with them.” At that, he seemed done with you, but you had to try once more.

“Sir, please, I really think I would be better utilized here,” you tried again to persuade him. You had a kill count higher than all the hunters currently on the streets, didn’t that mean anything?

He just glared at you, and your shoulders slumped as you slunk out of the room in defeat. Right as you were about to leave the room, you heard him speak again. “A hunter who’s useless enough to get caught doesn’t deserve the title.”

Biting your lip viciously to quell the sobs that threatened to rise in your chest, you ran back to your room to cry.

[clown-bait]

Monster Family (Monster Roommate AU) CH5

Getting this part moving along before IT CH2 comes out. Leech is not a happy camper right now and Pennywise is in huge trouble. Protip: Don’t let the clown drink.

Pennywise stumbled back and howled in pain as leech stomped forward grabbing the other woman with a horrible shriek that could shatter glass. “Get you face off my clown bitch!” she hissed rearing a clawed hand behind her in striking position. The woman in question threw a pouch that burst into black smoke against the vampires face and trotted off leaving the couple to sort out the mistake.

"Who hit me?!" The eldritch snarled and swayed.

"I did you idiot!"

The clown groaned "Too many Peachies foul poison playing tricks."

"There's just one of me here jackass." The vampire spat and grabbed her mate by the ruff causing him to stumble.

"Hey Fangs when you get a minute we have good news and bad news!" Freddy called out to his friends and the vampires skeletal face hissed at him in warning.

"Oopssss?" The eldritch choked out trying to smile despite the claws now digging into his neck ruff.

"Yeah fucking oops! This is a big fuckin oops Pen!"

"L-love y-you?"

Leech's eye twitched before releasing him. The clown was still very cross faded and beating the deadlights out of him wouldn't really accomplish much at this point.

"I'm not happy." She huffed as she dragged him to a booth and away from the staring eyes of her fellow fiends.

"Mistkate." He snarled and fixed his ruff. "I made a mistake."

"You also owe me a crockpot." Leech mumbled as she carefully sat down hand on their trilling offspring who enjoyed the thrum of the bass from the speakers around them.

"Actually I won that back for ya! You lost the first round though." Freddy called to her holding up the coveted cookware. "You owe me big Fangs this thing is nice!"

“And now I owe the devil a favor fantastic.”

Pennywise's eyes went wide as he stared at her bump. "Peachy you're pregnant?!"

The vampire turned to her two companions "You let him drink more while I was playing didn't you."

"Hey he was just grabbing any colorful drink he saw! You try controlling a 6 foot murder machine like that"

"Did I...did I do this?" The clown chittered leaning over her stomach and poking it.

"Congrats again baby daddy." The vampire sighed and slumped back in her booth.

Pennywise swayed and stumbled a bit the room swam when he remembered all the events from the past few months. Then he stopped and turned to throw up into an ice bucket containing a very nice champagne bottle.

"JINGLES!" Chucky and Freddy shouted at once.

The clown made a face of disgust his long black tongue rolling out of his mouth. Before anyone could stop him he grabbed the bottle and chugged it down wiping his chin. The trio stared in disbelief.

"So did everyone believe that time?" Leech asked quietly. To which she got two nods. "Fuck."

"IS THIS A JOKE?" Someone shouted upon receiving the bucket of clown sick.

"Shit give me him." Leech hissed.

The vampire grabbed her dizzy mate and searched for his pantaloons for his pockets the clown made a husky growl groping at her rear.

"Oh! Well look at you tasty little treat what cha lookin for in ol Pennywise's pants hmm?"

"That wallet you perv, we need to pay off that champagne before I get banned from here….again."

"Suree it's not something else?" The drunk eldritch growled and groped her breast causing it to leak a bit. Leech snarled and swatted his hand causing the clown to actually yelp in pain.

"Uhh Fangs your tit is bleeding." Chucky winced at the dark patch of red on her shirt.

"Yeah it does that now." She growled and tossed her friends her boss' wallet.

"That’s….not normal?"

The vampire rolled her eyes and grabbed her clown's cheeks causing a spittle of drool to fall from his mouth as she turned his head. "Yeah dont expect normal when this is the father."

"Meee?" The clown giggled and grinned from ear to ear then hiccuped violently giggling some more.

It was hard to be furious with him when he genuinely didn't even know where he was and was a bouncing mess. Leech sighed to herself wishing she could be giggling with him. At least it would help her block out the image of the love of her life kissing some random witch out of her mind. Leech slumped back and rested her wrist on her forehead.

"Krueger move we're gonna take care of that ruined bottle service." Chucky nodded at his undead companion

"I just sat down I'm not movin for shit."

The doll growled and slapped the back of his head. "Move you idiot." He mumbled out through gritted teeth gesturing to their emotionally drained friend.

"What?"

"My god you're clueless give the chick and her moron some space." The doll kicked his companion till they were out of the booth "You get ten minutes Jingles. Fix it."

The clown blinked in confusion then turned to his mate noticing the very uncomfortable gap between them. "Peachy? Are you still mad?"

"What do you think?"

Pennywise giggled and slowly leaned past the gap letting gravity pull his massive head down till it bumped with hers. He then chuckled wildly with his big buck teeth sticking out over his lips. It was frankly adorable but Leech could still smell the woman he'd mistaken for her on his skin and she scowled instead.

"You're verry pretty! Pretty eyes, pretty skin, big pretty ears hehe!"

"That's not gonna work"

The clown slumped to the side dramatically and leech shifted her glare to the side refusing to look at him. Pennywise was relentless in his pursuit ever the hunter he was not giving up. His finger slowly inched toward her poking her nose and making a honking sound when he did. His vampire hissed and snapped at him in response. He snarled back at her and limply swatted in her direction falling forward over the table and growling in frustration. Leech finally found herself smiling at that. Her mate is a complete mess when drunk but he was definitely her mess. "Mmph" he groaned and twisted his spine so he was now facing the ceiling.

"Pen what are you doing?"

"Trying to get to you." He growled continuing to tie himself in knots until he felt a cool hand on his cheek. The clown stopped his fighting and melted to her touch that soothed his skin that was warm with drink.

"You're a full on disaster." Leech sighed and kissed his forehead. The clown instantly unfolded and shook then stared at her with a wide victorious grin on his face.

"You still have to make it up to me." The vampire crossed her arms over her chest but was quickly grabbed by her mate and hastily pulled from her seat.

"Pennywise where the hell are you taking-" Leech began to scold him but his grip was strong and the crowd of people on the dance floor was large. Somewhere in the mess of lumbering masked killers she no longer felt the warm soft glove on her wrist. Great she had lost her idiot again. The small vampire shoved her way through the other towering members of the crowd looking for a tuft of fiery hair that rose above the sea of gray and rot. A warm gentle hand touched her shoulder and a strangers raspy deep voice calmly asked her "You alright little lady? Not the best place to be lost." She turned to the unfamiliar person he reminded her a bit of a middle aged Johnny Cash with peppered gray hair and crystal blue eyes. "Well that's quite a cargo you're carrying miss why don't you come sit down."

"Im actually looking for my uh baby daddy. He had a bit too much and tried to dance with me until we got separated." Leech sighed and eyed the stranger wearily as he sat down. "I haven’t seen you here before who are you? Demon? Witch?"

The man chuckled and sipped a half full beer. "Just an old blues man here to visit a very old friend."

"..I...I should find my idiot."

"Sweetheart you put too much stress on that bun in your oven have a seat an' tell me what that boy looks like. I'll drag him back here by his ear."

Leech narrowed her eyes "You sure about that? He's the boogie man of Derry."

"You don’t say? So the critter has a heart after all! Who knew!" The man laughed "How did a pretty thing like you end up with a nasty bug like that?"

“He can be charming if he wants to.” The vampire chided as she cautiously sat down. It did feel better to be off her feet. Her body was strong but carrying eldritch half breeds take a lot out of a girl even an undead one. "Alright this is a bit better. Gotta love my shitty friends for ditching me."

"Don't expect the company here to look out for you." The man chuckled "I take it a little lady like you ain't that type either."

"Yeah I'm post deceased." Leech smiled removed her wig and pointed to her ears "Nosferatu. You?"

"Like I said just an old sinner passin through."

"Fair enough." Leech sighed and glanced to her left at the beaten guitar case "There a guitar in here?"

"What kinda blues man would I be if there weren't?"

"I just started playing again myself." She smiled "Not any good yet but I can do a bit of Zeppelin."

The man smiled and took another sip of his beer "So tell me darlin bout that nasty bug of your’s."

"Well truth be told I’m mad at him...he accidentally kissed another woman with the same hairstyle as me."

"Haha! Can't say I haven't been there myself! Has he ever drank? I admit I don't know much about him other than the whispers."

"It’s mostly my fault. I’d say we’re even now anyway." Leech smiled "I broke his nose."

They both laughed at that.

"FANGS!"

Leech's ears perked up at the sound of Chucky's voice then turned to the stranger. "That’s uh my friend I think I need to go."

"Go on darlin set things right with your nasty bug, he'll come around. I gotta set up cross the street soon anyway." The stranger patted his guitar case and raised his beer. "You take good care of yourself and them little ones."

Leech slowly got up and began to walk into the crowd looking back to wave but the man was gone. A sudden hand on her wrist startled her and Freddy found his throat in Leech's claws.

"JESUS FANGS ITS ME! Also who the fuck was that? Never mind, we uh probably should get out of here Jingles stole a designer lamp."

".....Why?"

"No idea.Think he's proposed to it three times now."

"I'm not getting banned from here again. Where is he?" She sighed and the dream demon pulled her along through the gathered crowd. Sure enough there he was the Monster of Derry himself declaring his undying love to a lampshade.

"Peachy, darling, my queen! Eternally mine! The deadlights hum only for you!" the clown twirled dangerously while trying to dance with the fancy appliance. He was clearly black-out drunk at this point and Leech was genuinely surprised that he hadn't fallen over.

"Hey Fred, please tell me you've recorded this."

"You kiddin?! I've already sent it to you."

"This is why we're friends." She smiled and patted his shoulder. Leech strode forward and pushed the appliance out of her mate's hands "That was a lamp Pen."

The clown blinked clearly blitzed out of his mind then fell back giggling and drooling.

"Oh." He chuckled. "Hi Peachy."

“Do you want to say something to me?”

“S-sorry.” he stuttered still grinning like an idiot.

"I think you've humiliated yourself enough tonight Ruffles." She sighed and pet his fluffy orange hair "I'll forgive you if you forgive me tomorrow when you inevitably try to kill me for the hangover." The clown nodded vigorously shaking his bells as he did. Her lips touched his softly and Pennywise sighed in ecstasy deepening the kiss. He was all teeth and drool but Leech didn't mind his sloppy drool filled kisses were her favorite anyway. "Wanna get out of here?" she breathed quietly as the crowd of people quickly began to leave in mild disgust.

Her clown smiled wide and grabbed his mate vanishing in a jingle of bells before anyone could protest. Leaving their two companions without a ride and a very heavy crockpot.

[tumblunni]

HELLO GHOSTCRAFTER PLEASE BRING ME YOUR FINEST GHOSTS

HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW WARHAMMER NOW DOES FANTASY? GUESS WHO JUST FOUND OUT WARHAMMER DOES FANTASY

seriously ive like Always wanted to do tabletop games as a hobby, but i was never socially confident enough and also Warhammer In Particular Requires Money

But i just Took A Risk And Dived Into The Store and then the cashier was really helpful AND also it turns out the series has changed a lot since i was a kid! Now there's multiple scenarios including a fantasy one, instead of just the grungey edgelord sci fi! Sure its grungey edgelord fantasy too but fantasy is better cos fantasy can have GHOSTS!!! man i wanna learn more about the rules cos yo can you mix and match stuff? Could i have ghosts AND zombies AND vampires??? Do i really have to restrict my monster wuv...?

Oh and also NO BIGOTRY ANYMORE which is always a plus! There was only one female faction in the space thing back then, and they were creepy bondage sexy ladies who stab themselves and use their orgasm power to fuel their magic or something. Like it just said "magic fueled by suffering" but uhh..when theyre all skimpily dressed and doing O-faces it uhh..DOESNT SEEM LIKE THIS IS PUNISHMENT TO THEM. I cant believe people reccommeded that to me as a 12 year old just cos it was the only "girl one".like i mean i know the definition of the gane is gonna be violent and Dark but like you should still categorize some stuff as maybe Even Darker And Perhaps Not Sell To Smol Childe. Having green blood on your axe is a bit tamer than goddamn fifty shades in space! So yeah glad that's not the only option now and i can have a wonderfully ghoulish lady ghost who's like a bedsheet spoop but a wedding veil and then there's a skeleton underneath it. Mmmyeah thats quality monster! TRULY WHAT ALL WOMEN ASPIRE TO BE

Oh and yeah the ghosts just look SO GOOD! they have a great design aesthetic of floaty smokeyness but also skeletal zombieness. And the smoke colours are very Aesthetic to make up for the fact you cant actually have translucent plastic. And they all have super dynamic poses swinging all.sorts of cool.weapons on chains and sticks just so they had an excuse to spice up an otherwise ordinary figure. And then MAN when there's the ones that are dynamically posed AND also have a really unusual design?? God my heart just explodes. I looooove these spoops~

And man i hope i can work up the courage to go back and ask the cashier more questions next time! I wanna know the specifics of the rules and how creative im allowed to get with them. How different can i paint them? How am i allowed to mod my figures? Can you mix and match figures from each faction? Do you just have to rp as the plain army description for each faction or can you make up your own division of the ghost dudes who are Not Tormented and Not Ruled With An Iron Fist and instead have a Nice Boss Who Takes Them Out For Milkshakes? Also can i put little top hats on them?

And maaaaan seriously i already have so many ideas for alternate plotlines for these guys!! Its SUCH A WASTE! the short summary mentions that you become a ghost if you're "not good enough for [warhammer equivelant of heaven] and evil enough for [warhammer equivelant of hell]". But then ALL OF THEM ARE JUST EVIL ANYWAY. "Not evil enough" but still every single unit description is "he was an executioner/hunter/serial killer/world's worst criminal ever/he has so style he has no grace t t this stabman stabs u in th face." Like seriously where are my actual morally gray dudes who did bad stuff for good reasons or good stuff for sinful reasons or straddled the line between redemption and temptation or like MAN THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF PURGATORY PERSON! Like why not bring up all the completely good people who might get unfairly sentenced here if this world's angel faction has as many corrupt priests as the real world? Ghosts of unwed mothers, unbaptised children, lgbt and other minorities the church is bigoted against, people falsely accused of crimes by corrupt pastors, peope whose mental illness is blamed as 'demon possession', teenage brides who didnt accept their 'holy' arranged mariage to a man twice their age, poor people who just didnt donate enough to the church caddy, etc. Or even just plain normal people? Like if you don't believe that humans are inherantly good you might damn Ol George Farmerson for "not doing anything with his life". Norse mythology had a "bad place" like that, everyone went to Helheim even if they werent evil, just for not "dying a warrior's death". And a lot of the worst child abusing christians twist the scripture to claim that all children are born sinful and have to work off this goddamn debt they gained through no fault of their own.

So yeah i was thinking of having a Nighthaunt faction division where i replace all their weapons with stuff like gardening tools and etc. Farmer of doom! Librarian of death! Single mother of pain! Kindly grandpa neighbour of ultimate power! Just all the lost souls of people who weren't super evil dudes. Maybe even theme it like theyre all from the same village? Maybe the entire place was damned for the sins of one man. Just generally criticize the hell out of the way all these dumbass gods organize their damn afterlife.

And then i could have a warden/general character who's Actually Nice and Actually Tries To Help These Ghosts Work Off Their Sentence. Kindly support worker type person. Treats it like voluntary work and extracurricular classes for people recovering from illness. Does all this paperwork and arranges little art classes and weekly walks around the park for all the grandmas. "Let's do the five-point recovery star to help plan our goals for the future!" Support ghost is here to help u accept ur new damned existance, and help progress up the employment ladder of hell~!

And then i was also thinking SHAMELESS CHARON CROSSOVER! i mean itd be so cool to have a ghost dude who's been damned for being a corrupt tax collector or something. And if he was all hunched over and grumply with some claw hands. And if he was this physically weak type due to his crimes not really being of the fighty sort. And if he was a grandpa. And small. I AM ABSOLUTELY JUSTIFIED IN SAYING CHARON WOULD FIT PERFECTLY INTO THIS WORLD!! Also it woukd actually be cool if i could mix and match units and i just had one single holy creature in this army of doom. Like a lil pixie type thing like rotom! An innocent barely-sentient angel glowybab, who's inexplicably latched onto this motley crew of spoops and seems to see a spark of goodness in them. Like the whole "youre a punished ghost cos you suck but you did One Good Thing so here's a small chance to escape your fate" myth thats common to a lot of cultures. And the dude usually ruins his one chance by being greedy again, blablabla. That would really fit Charon! So like i dunno maybe this rotom-equivelant lil celestial fairy could be the soul of a baby or a cat or something that he saved when he was alive? Like i dunno his final heist went catatrophically wrong and he accidentally knocked over a lantern and set the place on fire. And he could have been able to escape if he'd just been as selfish as usual, but he heard a kid crying from inside the burning building and he ran back inside to try and save them. And uhh.. He still failed. They both died. And now he's stuck on afterlife death row but this lil angel still comes to visit and cheers him on. And a bunch of other redeemable and/or falsely accused non evil ghosts all ended up becoming his buddies too and now they're all fighting together to find a better future~! (Charon: I'VE NEVER HAD SO MANY FRIENDS! :'D ...what is their resale value)

SO YEAH IN SUMMARY I LOVV GHOST AND ADDING GHOST MAKES ALL UR GAMES MUCH MORE BETTER now plz let me be nice to ghost, srsly it sucks that their whole deal is "theyre all being tortured constantly and not even their boss gives a shit about them". I dont wanna play as a ghost torturer!! I BOUGHT THIS GHOSTE BECOS I LOVV THIS GHOSTE