#ultimately i think that's what OP is getting at: being able to recognize the correct vs wrong idea for your story

[breserker]

Cosigning all of this! For me the thing that taught me to remove deadwood the most is, unironically, learning a new context-heavy language like Japanese. That's kind of a tall order! But it really helped me understand what I could or couldn't cut in order to get the point across, and I think any bilingualism helps with that since you're essentially translating your thoughts to the page. It could be big like they're saying up there, or small, like in my current draft I didn't realize I weirdly start describing a character's physical looks in a scene that really didn't need that and thus it feels jarring. Keep what you wrote even if you cut it! It may come back later!

AND

Every time you come across a writing advice that has a big bold DON'T across it, think to yourself what sort of story would that DON'T be? Because, for as much as I understand what OP is saying in the twitter thread, there is a story where a multipage meticulous description of starbucks works. Off the top of my head it could be a very damning story about depression, or being a service worker, or routine.

Is that your story?

As a longtime fan of Brian Jacques, many of his feasting scenes and food scenes are I think technically things that don't need to be as extravagant as they are. Yet they're so a part of the story I bet you money a fair chunk of people would consider it part of the worldbuilding. Why have a Redwall story without an intricate homey feast? Or the Guosim rowing songs? Unfeasible!

Farmer Maggot and Tom Bombadil are such effectively unimportant characters to the larger narrative of Lord of the Rings that it's easy to write them out of adaptations or despair when you get to their parts upon a reread. So, why did Tolkien include them?

Perhaps the fact that they're not important to the greater narrative was the point to him--and his decision to include them thus became important to the telling of the story. One could argue (and I do) that while it's not feasible for a film adaptation (every line of script is limited time borrowed and you have scant few minutes for it), Farmer Maggot embodies what Frodo loves of the Shire--childhood scamping days being forgiven by being an adult in the community and learning and pre-grieving a lost intergenerational friendship in the days and long journey ahead. Tom Bombadil is immensely important to the idea that Sauron is, in fact, not the ultimate big bad evil guy in the whole world--there are forces both good and bad outside of his influence that have nothing to do with him. Sauron is just the focus of the story of The Lord of the Rings, specifically. The world is bigger than him. Kinder, more evil in places, but bigger than him. The war at the end of the Third Age was important yes, but even moreso that there would always be a world around it too.

What is the story you want to tell?

What would help the story you want to tell?

If it doesn't help, cut it. If it does, somehow, in some way...even if it's in ways these big DON'Ts tell you not to do, keep it around for a while. See how it meets you in a few months.

40 pages describing a starbucks probably wouldn't help a cozy mystery story. Or....it could, if that's part of the mystery. In a way. If yes you'd have to find ways to chew gum and walk as they say. But any idea isn't inherently a bad one, it might just be the wrong one.

PACING IS ABOUT LOAD BEARING WALLS.

*staples violently to my own forehead*

[bookofmirth]

So I initially deleted this because I didn’t want to get into it, but I also think the question is genuine and I wanted to explain my thinking. CW for emotional and physical abuse and sexual assault.

I am tagging @silverlinedeyes​ because this ask concerns them and I don’t appreciate being vagued, whether it’s a blogger or someone answering an ask that mentions me. I try not to vague other people and I’m not perfect but... just getting this all out in the open.

So I can’t speak for everyone who was upset at the initial post comparing Ianthe and Gwyn. Personally, I kind-of grimaced and was mostly confused about what in the world they could possibly have in common and why such a comparison would be necessary. As people, they are fundamentally different. And to me, the comparison is incredibly thin. Eye color and priestesses? How many priestesses have that eye color? And to use that to connect them to a creature we’ve only read about in two sentences in the whole series, a creature we’ve never actually seen on page and know next to nothing about? Basically, the intention or purpose behind the comparison didn’t make sense to me.

Now I’ll be perfectly transparent - I didn’t read the whole post because I could tell that it wasn’t for me. I also didn’t go around vaguing it. It was mentioned in some asks that I got and I tried to limit my commentary on that post and focus on the comparisons I had made, intentionally. Because 1) I can’t speak from the position of a SA survivor, and those are the people that post concerned, and 2) I didn’t fully read it, and 3) I don’t want to vague people! This fandom is divided enough. I know I made a joke after acosf came out how we are all having separate, loud conversations in the same room and refusing to acknowledge the other conversations while somehow responding to one another. And it was kinda funny at first, but now it’s exhausting.

To me, comparing Ianthe, who is universally reviled as a r*pist, and Gwyn, who we know is a SA survivor, is unnecessary. That’s pretty much what it comes down to. Why do we need to do this? What is it telling us about any of the characters? About relationships? I know a lot of people found it anything from distasteful to downright offensive, and while I think that just about anything is fair game when it comes to fictional characters, I also personally think that the intention behind the comparison was confusing. I just personally don’t understand why we would need to talk about those characters in the same breath. What purpose does it serve? Someone who can speak from the position of a SA can please feel free to add on, if comfortable!

The reason that I compare Az and Tamlin is to analyze them as people, as characters, because I see a lot of similarities in who they are on a (currently) fundamental level - their anger, their loneliness, their attempts to restrain their destructive impulses. These are major parts of who they are as people and how they interact with the world. There were red flags present in acotar that I recognized from my personal life and that I can now see in Azriel. Frankly, it concerns me that people see Tamlin as a completely irredeemable villain, while not recognizing that Azriel shares some of the same personality traits. 

Comparing a r*apist and a SA survivor is an unequal comparison. Emotional and physical abuse, on the other hand, tends to be generational. I’m not an expert on a professional or academic level, but I did a quick search on my university’s database, and found this from “Interrupting the Intergenerational Transmission of Violence”, and please note that these lines were the context or background - this article didn’t set out to prove these statements to be true, they are already commonly accepted knowledge and so their research was looking to solve the problem:

Children exposed to domestic violence are at increased risk for a wide range of emotional and behavioural disorders. Conduct disorder, in particular, may ultimately lead to the perpetration of further domestic violence in the next generation. Parental characteristics such as warmth and positive attributions may mitigate the risk for intergenerational transmission of violence.

I think that as a fandom, people really, really tend to mischaracterize Azriel. It bothers me. He’s not soft. I’m sorry, he’s just not. We have multiple examples of him being described, using words like “rage”, “cruel”, “temper”. One of the first posts I ever made in this fandom that got a lot of attention (over four years ago) was trying to correct these mischaracterizations. They keep happening.

There was an icy rage in Azriel I had never been able to thaw. In the centuries I’d known him, he’d said little about his life, those years in his father’s keep, locked in darkness. (ACOMAF)

One moment, Azriel was seated. The next, he’d blasted through Eris’s shield with a flare of blue light and tackled him backward, wood shattering beneath them. “Shit,” Cassian spat, and was instantly there— And met a wall of blue. Azriel had sealed them in, and as his scarred hands wrapped around Eris’s throat, Rhys said, “Enough.” (ACOWAR)

Az didn’t answer. I held his gaze, though. Held that ice-cold stare that still sometimes scared the shit out of me. (ACOFAS)

Az had a vicious competitive streak... quiet and cruel and utterly lethal. (ACOSF)

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper (ACOSF)

These are just a few of the examples, but we can also think about acofas when he gets angry at dinner thinking about how his mother was treated as a servant, when he can’t handle being around people who are happy on Solstice. I could make a whole post but I’m kinda sick of talking about Azriel at this point.

I have experienced an emotionally abusive relationship much like feylin was. I made myself so small, for years, because this person’s anger and anxiety and grief took up so much space in the world. I felt like I had to overcompensate, to not make them feel jealous if I was having a good day, and to not take on my negative feelings if I had a bad day. So I just stopped feeling things. For years. It didn’t go well. I’m still dealing with the aftermath. 

I have also witnessed physical domestic violence, as a child. I don’t think I need to explain further than that.

My fanfiction A Loveless Romantic deals heavily with the feylin abuse, and I only feel comfortable writing it because of my personal experiences. I’ve written posts about Nesta and alcohol and another post that I can’t currently find about why acotar is such a good book because it shows us all of those red flags for abuse before many people knew they were red flags. (If I can find it I’ll reblog.) My point is, when I go into analyses and metas like these, they aren’t just an exercise in “oh hey what if?!” It’s “here is my experience with this topic and so here’s how I read this with that background.”

The comparison between Azriel and Tamlin is deeply personal to me, and I didn’t exactly expect to have to disclose my personal history when making it, but when I see people vaguing about how the comparison “hurts people who have experienced abuse”, hi, OP knows exactly what she’s talking about on a personal level, thanks. So I’m going to keep talking about it, because I know what I’m talking about, and it bothers me that people can’t see it in fiction because I worry that they then won’t be able to see it IRL until it’s too late. I’m going to keep writing my “thinkpieces” because this is a topic I know a lot about, it’s important to me, and it’s something that I think a lot of people can and should learn more about.

[cruelfeline]

Anyone who hangs about Twitter potentially saw an unfortunate Hordak take cross their timelines today. 

As is custom on this blog, I’ll be taking it apart for my own personal amusement (and for the amusement of any of y’all who like to watch me do so). I doubt the poster will see this, as they’re on Twitter and not apparently on here, but in case they do: this is for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of followers; it absolutely does not need to be responded to if that’s not your cup of tea. 

So, that little disclaimer in place, let’s see what we can make of this! Because this is on Medium, I’ll be using screenshots as quotes; just a heads-up.

So... this first bit isn’t really anything Hordak-related. It’s more... fandom drama, I suppose? Not really something I can pick apart. I can, however, give my own personal opinion on this sort of thing, for what it’s worth.

It’s true that people can and should be able to feel whichever way they wish about a character. And to talk about that character. 

However: it is also true that people who dislike Hordak can be very unpleasant in making that known to those of us who enjoy him. Including descending into personal insults for no discernible reason. Add to that the fact that his character means a great deal to some fans for intensely personal reasons, and it is not difficult to see why some fans aren’t keen to see anti-Hordak content on their timelines, in their mentions, etc.

Censoring character hate isn’t a requirement, but in some circumstances, it can simply be a polite thing to do. It doesn’t take great effort, and it prevents people from experiencing just another bit of unpleasantness on their social media. And if you don’t want to do it? Well, that’s your right; but don’t be shocked when people voice their displeasure by replying to your words. Because that is their right.

And that’s all I really have to say about that. 

Odd way to phrase things, really. These aren’t “reasons to forgive.” The first two scenes involve Catra’s asphyxiations and are things that would need to be forgiven, not things to forgive.

Though, y’know, I really only apply that to the first scene, where he assaults her without her necessarily doing anything wrong. Mind you, I believe he does it out of a combination of needing to maintain a hierarchy for safety purposes (this is a man who needs people to be afraid of him to maintain his own safety) and poor leadership skills mimicked from a narcissist, but it’s still a terrible thing.

However! The second time? After he asks her about Shadow Weaver? This isn’t torture-fun-times. This is Hordak neutralizing a threat to the entire Horde. Because that is what Catra is in this moment: a threat to the security and wellbeing of him and the entirety of the Fright Zone. She lies about a critical mistake. She proves herself to not only have poor judgment in serious matters, but to be very willing to lie about it in order to guard her own selfish motives. While I can’t condone the method Hordak uses, I do wish people would stop using this second instance of punishment as some sort of proof-of-torture. He does not do this for no reason. He does it because Catra released a dangerous prisoner into the wild and lied about it. And his concerns over it ultimately prove correct.

This entire qualification doesn’t have much to do with whether he deserves forgiveness or not, but it’s a point I want to make because it combats this idea that Hordak did this to an innocent girl “for no reason” or “just to be cruel.” That’s simply not the case; no matter how unpleasant the method, Hordak is a military leader punishing a subordinate for seriously endangering him and everyone else in the organization. Badly. I don’t know what the equivalent would be in modern military, but Catra’s error is massive. It doesn’t make what Hordak does right, but it does give a reason other than a simple “he’s a bad, bad man.” So.

Adding this scene is... actually kind of odd because he doesn’t really do anything to Adora here. And also: this scene is... what’s the word... meaningful-in-hindsight, so to speak. Essentially: in this scene, Adora is claiming that Hordak is responsible for stealing her, for robbing her of a peaceful life with her family. And Hordak is claiming that he neither knows nor cares who she is, and that she does not matter to him. 

The interesting aspect of this scene, and something that OP fails to acknowledge at all, is that both Adora and Hordak are wrong.

let’s see if I can talk about this without crying... nope, already starting to tear up

Hordak never stole Adora; Light Hope did. Hordak did not orchestrate this unfortunate life for her. Rather, Hordak, a lost clone dealing with his own insecurities and fears and problems, found an equally lost infant in a field and gave her the only home he really knew how to create (and one that, for its flaws, was still better than the absolute nightmare he was “raised” in). In all likelihood, given Light Hope’s lack of understanding of infants, he probably saved Adora’s life by doing this: without him, she may well have perished alone in that field.

Hordak likewise does remember her, eventually. And she is not inconsequential to him: by saving her, he ends up saving himself, and all of his brothers. By forging this near-unknown bond with her all those years ago, by choosing to take in an infant rather than letting her die, he plays a key role in deciding the fate of the universe. 

This scene that OP sarcastically claims is a reason Hordak shouldn’t be forgiven has a sibling:

The fact that OP apparently fails to recognize this and realize that these are the only two moments in the series during which Adora and Hordak directly interact, that they’re a pair, means that OP misses the connection between the two and the significance of how they misjudge one another initially. It indicates a lack of understanding of the themes of the show: themes centered around connections with other people, love, and forgiveness. Which, given the contents of this essay, is unsurprising.

Moving on!

Y’know, whether or not one believes, in terms of definition, that Hordak is a colonizer (I personally don’t for pedantic and clone-cult reasons, but that’s not really relevant to this post), it’s interesting that OP notes how Stevenson confirms that he is... but conveniently leaves out the part where she confirms that he did it because he was brainwashed.

That’s... an important piece of information to leave out when discussing whether Hordak should be forgiven or not. A very important piece.

And it doesn’t really matter whether he’s a colonizer or a conqueror; the reason it comes up is because people seem very stuck in the mindset of “if it’s a colonizer, it must die” without acknowledging any sort of nuance. There’s also the question of whether what Hordak did actually caused the same sort of upheaval and lasting damage we see resulting from legitimate colonization, and all of the implications of that, but this isn’t really the place to go into that. Honestly, I don’t really think SPoP as a whole is the place to go into that.

No. Hordak is not the person who taught her all of these things. 

Shadow Weaver is.

Hordak did not personally teach her that Princesses are evil. He did not teach her that wanton cruelty is fine in getting one’s own way. He did not feed her propaganda. 

Actually, as an aside: can we even confirm that Catra ever thought that Princesses where evil? I mean... she works with Scorpia, and she has no apparent morals to speak of. She does as she wishes for her own personal gain, not because she displays any sense of “fighting the evil Princesses.” And in terms of disposing of Entrapta because she was “manipulated” into viewing Princesses as evil: Catra disposes of everyone. She manipulates and uses everyone. That is one of the key aspects of her arc: she uses and abuses people for personal gain. She does this whether they are Princesses or not: just see Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle. Add to this the fact that Catra, from the first season, knows that she and Adora have been lied to, manipulated, and that the Horde is in fact evil, and... this entire line of reasoning falls apart. 

None of this is an attempt to “absolve Hordak of blame.” Hordak just... legitimately had no hand in raising any of the children. That was not his role (and while I know that this was confirmed by Stevenson at some point, I don’t have memory of where; potentially the last podcast?). And Catra did not operate on any sort of propaganda that she actually believed in: she simply used and disposed of people as she saw fit because she cared more about her own rise to power than she did about those around her. This was one of her major character flaws, and really? Trying to pin this on Hordak, or even fully pin it on Shadow Weaver? It absolves Catra of the blame, of the intentional bad choices she made (as emphasized by Adora) and thus weakens her entire arc.

All in all: Hordak may have created a poor environment for the raising of children, but of note is the fact that only Catra turns out this way. The other kids, whatever their problems, are not in the habit of manipulating friends, lying to them, using them, and then tossing them aside. That is a Catra Problem. Part of this can be attributed to Shadow Weaver (who only treated Catra in the poorest way), and part of it is just... Catra being not-the-best.

All right. Now we get to the really disingenuous portion of the essay.

First, as just stated: Hordak is not Catra’s abuser. Shadow Weaver is. Hordak had no hand in raising her. Hordak did not direct Shadow Weaver to abuse her. Hordak did not personally feed Catra anti-Princess propaganda, and even if he had, we know by the first season that Catra sees through whatever propaganda she was exposed to and has no actual moral objections to Princesses. But that’s not the main aspect of this portion that irks me. 

The main aspect that irks me is that this is not the scene Hordak stans mark as abusive. And I cannot imagine that OP does not know this.

But let’s talk about this scene, for a moment, before getting to the actual, legitimate abuse.

OP talks about his scene almost flippantly: “Hordak finds out Catra lied about Entrapta, he becomes angry and attacks her with a clear plan to kill her.”

Yes. Yes, he "becomes angry.” He becomes angry and attacks because as far as he knows, Catra killed Entrapta. This isn’t some annoyed “you lied to me!” moment. He legitimately thinks Entrapta is dead because Catra sent her to Beast Island. OP just blissfully glosses over the fact that Hordak is attacking Catra in rage and grief because Catra, as far as either of them know, killed his only friend and then lied about it for approximately a year. Like... how do you gloss over that in discussing this scene? How do you gloss over the enormity of what Catra did, and the unimaginable pain Hordak experiences when finding out?

So. The writeup of this scene is poor. It misses all of the emotion, all of the reality of what Catra did and what Hordak felt. But! That’s not even the unfortunate part of this portion. Let’s get to the real disingenuity.

This is the abusive scene. This is that stomach-turning moment when Catra removes a disabled man’s ability to move with dignity and without pain solely to force him to escalate a war for her own personal benefit.

Hordak is not a danger to her here. Hordak has not been a danger to her for a while because he has been holed up in his private quarters, trying to deal with the emotional fallout of Entrapta supposedly betraying him. He wants nothing to do with Catra. He wants to lick his wounds and gather himself and somehow heal from this deep personal pain that’s been inflicted upon him.

And that’s a problem for Catra because it stands in the way of her using the war as a way to best Adora.

So Catra identifies Hordak’s physical weakness and exploits it for the purpose of spiting her ex.

The fact that OP completely fails to acknowledge any of this is... well. Disingenuous. Absolutely so.

The next portion of the essay talks about people feeling that Catra was too easily forgiven and isn’t really Hordak-centric; I won’t really go into it here. Moving forward:

Ah, one of the most annoying questions I see asked. Let’s, again, acknowledge and move past the fact that Hordak was not actually Catra’s abuser...

When, pray tell, was Hordak supposed to show this remorse? When? While he was serving on Prime’s ship, trying to forget the pain of losing Entrapta, of failing to prove himself, of losing everything? Should he have done it while screaming in agony in the purification pool? Should he have done so while alone on Prime’s ship, trying to serve quietly while piecing together his memories?

Not only was Hordak simply not in a position, narratively, to go into a whole remorse bit, but he had other problems. Like, life-endangering problems. 

The appropriate time to go into his feelings on Etheria and the Princesses and All of That would have been after Prime’s defeat, upon Hordak’s re-introduction to Etheria... but then the show ended. So.

Agh, vulgar. Taking a brainwashed, conditioned slave and bastardizing his triumph at finally seeing himself as a real person, instead claiming that his intent was to glorify his own misdeeds. No. Just... no.

Again: this is not the time for guilt. And it is a demonstration of why guilt and remorse were not front-and-center in Hordak’s arc during season five: his arc was about finally realizing that he was his own person, a person worthy of identity and love and care and freedom. And this arc culminated in him separating himself from his abuser and declaring his personhood. 

That is what this scene is: not Hordak reveling in his makeshift empire, or in the terrible deeds he’d committed, but in declaring himself his own person. 

I should hope that he is proud of doing that. I’m proud of him for doing that daunting feat, of defeating his abuser and defying his god and recognizing that he is worthy of more than what Prime thought of him. And I recognize Entrapta’s role in it: not as the sole inspiration for his change, but as someone who showed him a foundation of love and acceptance, someone who introduced him to the idea that he was worthy of care and happiness and affection simply because he was a living being, no strings attached.

Trying to shoehorn in some sort of claim that this is about pride in his misdeeds, rather than joy at finally accepting his own sense of self is a massive misinterpretation of this scene, a misunderstanding of Entrapta’s role in Hordak’s arc, and... can I say it’s disingenuous again? Because I’m going to: it’s disingenuous.

All right; we’re at the end. And while the first sentence here is something I absolutely agree with - the decision to forgive Hordak is personal and subjective both for viewers and for in-show characters - the whole conclusion falls apart from there.

It highlights another glaring omission from OP’s arguments: the fact that Hordak is a brainwashed clone slave.

Hordak did not choose to “spend his life trying to prove his worth to Horde Prime.” He did not choose the method of said proving: that Prime would look kindly upon conquering rather than some other task. And he did not choose to have certain concepts and ideas (all beings must suffer to become pure; all creatures, no matter how small, have a place in service of Horde Prime; failure is when something ceases to serve a purpose) conditioned into him.

Hordak was manufactured as a cultist slave. He was “born” with hardware implanted into his body against his will to better control him. He was indoctrinated and brainwashed to the point that he believed that Horde Prime was his literal god - and in a way, Prime was, because he could mentally invade and possess and physically control the clones whenever he wished. 

Hordak was not allowed to have a sense of self. He was not allowed to have a name. He was not allowed to express emotions. He was not allowed to live without that life serving to glorify Horde Prime. Hordak was so absolutely sick with this mentality that he saw himself as a failure due to physical disability and assumed it was his responsibility to fix that. 

The idea that Hordak simply chose to do what he did, that he had the same foundational morality and mindset as any “normal” person might, shows a glaring lack of understanding even the basics of his narrative. 

Yes: Hordak did bad things. But he did them for legitimately tragic, nigh-horrifying reasons that this essay just ignores for the sake of... I don’t know? Trying to justify OP’s distaste for the character? I am uncertain. But it’s a mark of a poor essay, of a poor understanding of the character, and is honestly just disappointing to read when the show itself tries so hard to drive home its wonderful, hopeful themes through Hordak’s story.

Whether one forgives Hordak or not is one’s personal choice, but I certainly hope one makes said choice with better insight into his character than this essay provides.

[class1akids]

I completely share your feelings about the events in 286 being super frustrating after the highs of 284&285, but I can't help but feel that this frustration is absolutely intentional on Horikoshi's part. Kacchan's selfless act is ultimately much more important to his character than any immediate impact it might have in this particular battle. And I can't see Deku as he is now reacting in any other way, and we are absolutely meant to be as frustrated by this as Bakugo is (and as Aizawa... (1/3)

and others have been in the past). I definitely don't think Horikoshi is glorifying Rage!Deku (yes, he gets pretty art, but well, the best art in this arc has been Shigaraki's!) - Hori's made it very clear since the beginning of the series, and now repeated it through Bakugo, that Midoriya's behavior is not just self-sacrificial but self-destructive, and can be very harmful to himself and others - and ultimately, as Bakugo has pointed out, it comes down to his inability to see any worth... (2/3)

in himself as a quirkless child. You've said before that you thought Midoriya's flaws aren't sufficiently explored by the narrative, but I think this has been his biggest flaw since the beginning of the story, and has been rather consistently explored (3/3)

These are good points. Yes, Shigaraki taunting Deku about how pointless Bakugou’s sacrifice was makes me feel like that it is exactly how we are supposed to feel, but I’m hoping there to be more pay-off than Deku just entering rage-mode, but something bigger that affects the narrative in the big scheme of things. 

You say that it’s an important character moment for Bakugou himself, but since the scene is a direct, intentional parallel to the Sludge Monster incident, let’s imagine that scene with just Deku running in, getting scolded for getting in the way and going home. Everything else happens the same, but All Might never tells him that it was Izuku who inspired him in that moment, never tells him he can be a hero, never gives him OFA... Wouldn’t it change how we readers and Deku himself feels about that entire scene? Would it be an important character moment for Deku on his journey to be a hero without any pay-off whatsoever if he didn’t gain anything and didn’t save anyone, but just proved that he’s willing to risk his own life even if he realistically can’t achieve with it anything? What would be the value of that?

So I think that Bakugou’s sacrifice deserves narratively a pay-off that pays its dividend into Bakugou’s own arc, rather than just Deku’s (by enabling rage mode). Otherwise, to me it will remain really unsatisfying and bleak. Further reinforcing the idea that Deku gets always rewarded for acts that others suffer for.

I also see Deku’s supposed lack of self-worth as something that’s not very convincing to me and often contradicted by the story itself. Selfless sacrifice, getting the job done “no matter what happens to me” is not really a self-worth thing or not even a Deku-thing, but a quality that the real heroes have. This is why All Might recognizes him in the first place, not just with a head-pat, but someone worth putting his full, unconditional faith into, that’s the quality we see from Mirko in this arc as she charges forward despite her lost limbs, from Hawks when he prioritizes taking out Twice over saving himself from Dabi and I don’t feel the narrative framing those acts as sign of lack of self-worth.  Also, Deku’s acts of heroic recklessness pay off every single time - in the Sludge incident, against Muscular, against Overhaul. He always comes out as the moral (and physical) winner.

There is also Deku’s motivation - which is helping people - but not only that. He wants to help people in one particular way, by being a hero like his idol. So at the core of it, even if it’s centered around saving others, it is about Deku himself, fulfilling his own very specific aspiration, exactly the way he wants to. I think that requires a secure self-image to be able to go after a dream against all odds and so stubbornly believing that he can make it. Wouldn’t a person lacking self-worth be more likely to settle for “less”?

I think the writing is fuzzy on Deku’s arc to the extent that I am genuinely confused what is the point Horikoshi is trying to make with it - if any - or what flaws he wants me to believe Deku to have. 

At most, what I’m thinking may be his arc, is a Frodo-type of journey, where he starts off on an adventure that he always dreamt off, and at first feels like a fairy-tale of getting everything he ever wanted as a reward for his good qualities, but it gets turned more and more into a nightmare and a burden he never signed up for, but still rising to the challenge, with the end being that in order to save everyone, he’ll have to sacrifice the power he dreamt of (if my theory about destroying AFO means also destroying OFA turns out to be correct). 

This is why I feel like we are overdue for the story to let Deku fail in some real way with consequences that he has to grapple with. If the vestiges win this fight for him, then it just proves again Deku right - he doesn’t need anyone, nobody else can measure up, and he should have just done it all by himself letting Shigaraki touch him right back in chapter 275 before Gran Torino dragged him away.  

So much bloodshed would have been spared - Bakugou, Aizawa, Gran Torino, Ryukyu, Endeavor - everything they did feels so useless? 

But I hope that we will get a more satisfying answer than that and the vestiges are there maybe to buy some time for Deku (and do more exposition about OFA as a power) rather than to win it for him, and what saves him will be the efforts of everyone put together, wearing down Shigaraki’s ridiculously OP body one hit at a time until he falls apart...

I guess I’m just very attached to the teamwork narrative, where everyone’s contribution is what makes the protagonist’s victory possible, and where all those characters are on a journey of growth themselves, rather than tools in the arc of the MC. 

[blaster-aichi]

Cardfight!! Vanguard Extra Story IF 14 things

links lead to images posted on discord because this post is already far too absurdly long, have too many thoughts, what a rollercoaster ride this was

Shuka’s opening a gateway into the past beneath herself and Emi indicted Link Joker Gate flashbacks because of its appearance

If it wasn’t demonstrated prior to this episode, it’s apparent how Aichi is far more malicious than any incarnation of past (i.e. his soldiers ready to maim or straight up murder Emi and Shuka , having Kai-kun abducted; whether either was 100% intended to occur the way they did is anyone’s guess)

Miwa as a Sanctuary Knight: there’s two points to this          — it’s an astonishing turn as he was part of the Mates during Legion Mate — the season which many people have acknowledged the parallels to — but working beneath Aichi turns that on its head as well as the implication that Aichi’s force was concentrated around the Miyaji Cardfight Club, as well as giving a fifth member to his faction in similar vein to Kourin of Legion Mate.         — it splits up the Kai/Miwa/Ibuki trio down the same lines as Ultra Rare; Suiko and Ibuki being firmly aligned with Emi while Kourin and Miwa fall under Aichi’s command. Rekka and Kai-kun would serve as unaccounted for, though it’s more clear-cut in his case, as Rekka made her appearance and her allegiance known at the same time as Kourin entered the fray, as well as already fighting on the side of restoring the timeline to its proper state before Suiko was pulled into activity.         — and it was foreshadowed right before our eyes when they announced IF 14 would be centred around Kai-kun.

"Whenever I hear the name "Toshiki Kai”, for some reason, I get chills”. It’s a strange statement with his behaviour later in the episode, seeming to recognize and feign friendliness with Ibuki and Kai-kun. The only possibility can think of for this line is Miwa, like Aichi and Emi (and the rest of the Sanctuary Knights), is his Outside World self pulled into IF World and his memories tampered with, he might be privy enough to his relationship with the other two for the sake of his act when meeting with them.

Kai-kun hugging Ibuki with no restraint. Rena down. Fuck that’s so soft.

9 years of being dead or arseholes who abandoned their child, we get Mama and Papa and the whole family is adorable! Mama Kai and Shizuka would get along so well, they’re two peas in a pod aaaaa        — Toshi also pointed how out the Kai family love of curry persists to this day and god bless.

me last night on call with Courtney: “There has to be a reason why Aichi hates Vanguard specifically just because of not meeting Kai-kun. It wouldn’t be any more significant than literally anything else. Hey, Aichi, why not hate rock music instead or something?” Kai-kun’s room: this kid loves rock, how dare you

Said room also makes it feel like the show is saying Vanguard/Aichi ruined Kai-kun’s life as opposed to, you know, his parents abandoning him. Bushi no—

It took just his name. That was it.

The static within the audio around Aichi is a neat touch when there feels to be a theme of glitching in the ED and it isn’t as though either reality is “wrong”, just distorted.

Just how they go about instilling memories of Aichi in comparison to Legion Mate is fascinating. In Legion Mate, the Mates were able to cleanly remember as their fights progressed and able to accept that Aichi existed prior to the season; we don’t know the extent of the changes to their lives as a result of his disappearance, but here is a different story. Kai-kun’s entire life has been altered as a result of the distortion and he isn’t able to simply see Aichi in his memories and realize that someone is missing from his past, and it takes a toll on him for these conflicting memories from another life to present themselves to him.

One has to wonder what Shizuka is going through in regards to Aichi vanishing, but also what Kai-kun’s parents must think if they were to investigate the commotion coming from his room suddenly to see him and everyone else gone and the disarray left from just how they left.

IF being the seemingly most lighthearted season with the darkest cliffhanger (topping even Link Joker and Legion Mate, because nothing comes to mind that could honestly match this), even if we know they would never dare kill off Kai-kun but the insinuation for the characters that he could be dead is chilling, particularly when they consist of his childhood friends, young girls and the root being a boy seeking him out, whose intentions around it we don't know and whom we've seen destablize (albeit in another continuity) when it comes to Kai-kun, so imagine the ramification and what it could do to his state of mind (or Ibuki, Miwa, Emi and Shuka’s, for that matter)  if they really did play with the idea of killing him off.

Horizontal Oath

God bless this ED, it’s so good

There’s a lot in here about the clashing realities around Kai-kun and it’s nice to know the season isn’t overlooking the incredibly weighted implications of putting him in this position.

The fire spurning to life, while a nice nod to his usual choice of Kagero an its absence in his current life, could also be representative that, while he has many hobbies in his IF life, Vanguard is where his passion truly lies above all, as he grips it and contemplates the people who should be around him.

Emi, Ibuki and Miwa occupying the same spots in the frames they exist in is a neat choice.

Kai rushing towards the light/Blaster Blade only for the card to vanish as his fingers nears it screams of midpoint Legion Mate where the Mates finally got a glimpse of Aichi, to hear his own request that they give up. As the preview shows them in the same location, it’s possible 15 will serve as the first, failed attempt to bring Aichi back to his senses and force the group to pick themselves up and try again in the same way the Leon episodes served in Legion Mate, signified by the repeated animation usage when Kai-kun runs towards Blaster Blade a second time.

The price Kai-kun is going to pay is not being overlooked. To restore the timeline, it’s apparent that he’ll have to sacrifice his IF life and parents, inflicting unto him the anguish of his original Manga/Reboot continuity life and the hardships that came with it  The darkness that emanates from his younger self and the glimpses of that original life as he kneels demonstrates that, while he might accept that outcome, it’s not about to be an easy task, understandable.       — Initially had suspected from the preview for 14 that this issue might be raised with him and he would reject erasing everything he knows and have to be brought around to the idea, but the ED actually refutes this, as he faces everything head-on.       — In doing so, it speaks to his character and the strength to allow this incredibly high price, as by relinquishing everything he knows, he’s able to regain the friends he made through Vanguard even with the knowledge of the pain and strife that he’ll endure and allow Emi to have her family back, even at the cost of his own.       — Additionally, as the shot closes in on him and he yells/roars, it appears he could be in pain from having to surrender this version of himself and his life; but ultimately does so as he fades while Dragonic Overlord becomes the more dominant face, signifying his reclaiming his Vanguard and his original life.

This resolve to allow the timeline to be returned to its rightful state also comes through beneath the starry sky that corrects itself, with Kai-kun standing at the back of Emi’s group, the only one of them fated to disappear by setting things right. Though the camera continues on past him, towards the light that grows brighter and consumes everything — perhaps a symbol of the corrected timeline taking hold — he doesn’t so much as glance back, but looks ahead to the sky, even with the reality that he and his world will be no more.

[2012 Fanguard voice] Bench-chan lives on.

Numerous people in YouTube comments remarked that Horizontal Oath amplifies the Legion Mate atmosphere and its emphasis on Kai-kun whilst doing so is notable. As that was his journey to bring Aichi back and the current is Emi’s, the shift in tone with this new ED and new arc incorporating him heavily is a nice reflection of that when the OP remains the same.      — There is an implication, though, that Emi might start to fall back from the protagonist role, as she appears far more passive in the ED while Kai-kun stands front and centre. When the two of them and Shuka are standing in a field, Emi’s feet are surrounded by shade, and when looking to the sun, she stands on the edge of the formation, seeming far more distant. At the same time, Shuka is on the other side, both of the group as a whole and Kai-kun specifically, with her back to the others. Her guilt has been an enormous factor since the truth of her actions came to light and how they weigh on her, but this feels as though her attention shifting away from Emi and towards Kai-kun as a means of atoning for her mistake.     — Going to be hopeful that they can balance what Aichi means to Emi and Kai-kun in similar vein to Kai-kun and Naoki of Legion Mate, so that they both share an equal part in the fight going forward.

IF 15

Thank goodness, we’re getting answers about Aichi, Takuto and the Sanctuary Knights, let’s go.

Aichi pointing a sword at Ibuki and (Kourin) opening up a fissure beneath the both of them — and right in front of Kai-kun — is a stark contrast to the Aichi(s) we’ve known until now, as how he was seen by Kai-kun was something of great importance to him, but depending on the context of the scene, it’s apparent that this version of him gives no fucks about anything of the sort.

Something that’s been on my mind within the last week is that, aside from the scene in the forest when he was acting seemingly normal, Aichi’s right eye is never detailed beneath his visor, or even when he overrode Majesty Lord (typically, his hair doesn’t completely conceal his eye while in a unit). The theories that came to mind were heterochromia, like Voidkuto, a permanent Psyqualia glow or it’s completely blank in typical possession/brainwashed fashion (or some sort of visual cue pertaining to the fact that a great deal is off about him) but by putting on the airs of normality, he was able to mask it as a normal eye when meeting with Shuka.

[taaroko]

Post-IW MCU Rewatch: Black Panther

Time for an Afrofuturistic paradise!

Ohhhh, the meteor hit before humans came along. That makes so much more sense. Here I was misremembering that it landed in the backyards of these five tribes, and I was really confused that a meteor with a seemingly infinite supply of vibranium didn’t destroy everything for hundreds of miles. This makes much more sense.

The black sand hologram things are so much cooler than regular floating image holograms.

Hahahaha, okay, T’Challa freezing is adorable.

There are some great sibling and mom moments in this movie. Ramonda only had to see T’Challa’s face to know Shuri was flipping him off behind her back. Bahaha.

They did an amazing job on Wakanda. It’s Incredible to look at. From the city to the landscapes to the waterfall to the traditions of the different tribes. This whole movie has such an incredible atmosphere to it. This is the level of personality and culture I wish they’d given Asgard.

So I’ve seen critiques that question the wisdom of having a ritual combat to determine rule in such an advanced country. I think those critiques are missing the point. Wakanda’s flaw, aside from having a policy of isolationism at all costs, is clinging too hard to ceremony and tradition. It’s probably been many generations since they actually viewed the ritual combat as more than a token of respect to past tradition, but they didn’t actually delegitimize it in law, which is how Killmonger is able to take advantage of the situation.

The ancestral plane is beautiful.

“It’s hard for a good man to be king.” I desperately need Thor and T’Challa to interact. Have drinks and talk about the struggles of being king and having fathers who hid horrible truths.

So will T’Challa marry Nakia now that he’s come to agree with her politics?

Wakabi is kind of unreasonable. To turn on T’Challa for failing to bring Klaue back on his first attempt? Come on. T’Chaka failed to retrieve him for three decades, and you expect T’Challa to do it in one day? You are a bad friend.

Please let Peter and Shuri interact! They both love memes and “old” movies!

The whole suit fitting into the necklace strains credulity a bit. As does Tony’s bleeding edge armor. But I guess conservation of mass went out the window when Steve easy-baked from a sickly 90-pound kid to a 240-pound muscle-bound hunk, so it’s a bit late to start complaining.

*innocently* “For research purposes.”

Tolkien white guys!

Heck yes Okoye fight scene! Check out this gorgeous one-er!

Ohhhh it’s a vibranium car. So it breaks apart differently than a normal car would. I can accept the way Okoye and Nakia survive that crash better now. That was an important detail.

I, having two brothers, have never called either of them “Brother” to their faces in my life, nor have I ever heard anyone do this in real life, and yet I love when siblings do this in fiction. Brodinsons and royal house of Wakanda, please never change.

Klaue is so obnoxious.

Oh wow, I never noticed that they stuck those comms devices behind their ears.

Killmonger’s armor with the chestplate thing looks like some of the armor in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Awesome.

I keep imagining an AU in which Asgard and Wakanda do regular trade and have embassies. Wakanda has vibranium and millennia of experience working with it, Asgard has magic and other types of advancements. It’d be an amazing alliance, and they could’ve had it for centuries without telling anyone else on Earth.

Seriously Wakabi, you’re being a jerk.

So basically, Killmonger is Hamlet. More on that later, but he just killed Ophelia. Also, the reveal that he’s the main villain, not Klaue, is the midpoint/turning point of this movie. It’s getting to the point where I don’t have to check the progress to recognize these moments. The MCU gets criticism for being formulaic, but if the formula is simply following the 3-act structure, it still leaves plenty of room for variety, so I fail to see the problem.

N’Jobu is a scary extremist. Nakia is the one with the right philosophy. But T’Chaka did not need to use lethal force. He had super strength and a vibranium suit. He could’ve subdued his brother and brought him in. Instead, he killed him and left his nephew to find the body. T’Chaka is a lot like Odin. I do think both became better men than they were in the early days of thei rrule, but they did nothing to correct some of their biggest mistakes. Instead, they buried them. How exactly did they expect their sons to do better jobs ruling without all the facts?

I really like that Killmonger and T’Challa both held their father’s bodies the same way and cried over them. Super important parallelism.

Hmm, vibranium is vulnerable to sonic weaponry. That’s really good to know. This stuff is a bit too versatile and powerful; it needs a weakness.

It’s super weird that Killmonger’s (American) name is Eric Stephens. There was an Eric Stephens in my grad program, and he sat in the cubicle next to me. 

There’s some interesting stuff about group identity in this movie. Tribe identity (the five tribes in Wakanda), national identity, racial identity, and humanity at large. Nakia wants to help humanity at large. The Jabari are the most tribal. The other four tribes are about their identity as Wakandans over their tribes. N’Jakada, who grew up in the US, surrounded by gang violence and police brutality, with a father who wanted to militarize the entire African Diaspora and was killed for that, effectively making him a martyr and proving him right in the eyes of his son, is about racial identity to a fascist degree. N’Jakada has legitimate concerns, and his backstory is tragic and unjust, but his solutions are evil. Getting what he wants (assuming enough people outside Wakanda, where loyalty to the throne is somewhat mandated, would even go along with his world conquest plan) would come at the expense of the soul of the people he claims he’s fighting for.

The upside-down shot of N’Jakada taking the throne is chilling and excellent.

Conquerors or conquered are not the only two options here, Wakabi. But that attitude is self-fulfilling prophecy.

M’Baku is awesome.

T’Challa’s second trip to the ancestral plane is when he really figures out what his priorities are and what he’s fighting for. He realizes what he wants Wakanda to be under his rule. He’s been fairly passive and lacking in his own ideology up until now. Now his heart is really in it. He’s become the Black Panther and a king, so now he just has to fight to reclaim those actual titles from a mad warlord.

“All that challenge shit is over. I’m the king now.” Yeah, N’Jakada has no respect for their traditions, he only exploited them.

“Your heart is so full of hatred! You are not fit to be a king!” Yesss! Choose what Wakanda stands for, don’t just hand your loyalty to a man who doesn’t deserve it. It’s pretty notable, though, that Okoye only withdraws loyalty to N’Jakada when she sees that T’Challa is alive. Because the challenge is ongoing, she is free to choose the king she wants. She never broke her oath.

Heck yeah, warrior princess!

Oh hey, her gauntlets totally do the same thing to N’Jakada’s suit that the rails on the trains do.

Aaaah the truth comes out. “You want to see us become just like the people you hate so much. You will destroy the world, Wakanda included.” “The world took everything away from me! I’m gonna make sure we’re even!” N’Jakada pretty much just admitted he’s the villain.

And the Jabari claim their identity as Wakandans. Woohoo!

Hehe, the rhino loves his mama.

The civil war in Wakanda is what the Asgard storyline in Ragnarok was missing. Hela just slaughtering everyone and generally being ludicrously OP is not interesting, but if a significant portion of the people had sided with her and there was a battle for the soul of Asgard? That would’ve been amazing, and I wouldn’t have just been impatient to get back to trash planet shenanigans.

It’s a shame N’Jakada dies. He’s a Loki caliber villain, and they could’ve given him a redemption arc or something.

Okay, weirdly, one of the details I like the most about the capital of Wakanda is that the ground doesn’t appear to be paved anywhere.

So if Bucky is White Wolf, does that mean he’s going to be in future Black Panther movies? Yes please?

Black Panther is very good, but I don’t think it makes it into my top five MCU movies. T’Challa needs more development. He’s too passive for too much of the movie. Shuri and Okoye are much more interesting characters and have much more personality than him, and the same goes for M’Baku and N’Jakada. Hopefully they’ll do more with T’Challa in future installments. A big part of what makes the Marvel movies so great in general is their compelling leads, but this movie didn’t make me as invested in T’Challa as a person as it made me invested in his country and the people around him. I want to be as invested in T’Challa as I am in characters like Thor, Peter Parker, Tony, Steve, the Guardians, Scott, and Stephen, characters like Frank, Matt, Luke, and Jessica. I think what would have gone a long way towards solving this problem would have been if he’d actually been a staunch defender of the traditional isolationist view, only to learn over the course of the movie that Nakia is right. Isolationism breeds xenophobia and over-inflates national pride, creating people like N’Jakada. Much better to embrace other countries and cultures and help each other grow. As it is, it seems like T’Challa goes along with the isolationist thing because that’s how they’ve always done it, but he doesn’t seem remotely passionate about it, and that’s to the detriment of his character.

Now, the Hamlet thing. It occurred to me the first time I saw this in theaters that N’Jakada is essentially Hamlet. His father was killed by his uncle, who is on the throne, and his quest for vengeance gets everyone around him including his lover and friends killed, and ultimately he dies too. Then a benevolent king takes the throne, having learned from this conflict.

[losille2000]

A Saving Grace, Chapter 4

TITLE: A Saving Grace CHAPTER NUMBER: 4/? + Prologue AUTHOR: Losille2000 WHICH Henry/CHARACTER: Actor!Henry GENRE: Drama/Romance FIC SUMMARY: All press is good press, right? Not if you ask Henry Cavill. After recordings from a disastrous interview go viral, Henry’s life begins to crumble around him. He has no idea how to stop it from happening. Fortunately, he has a new assistant who could be his saving Grace. RATING: M (sex, language) WARNINGS: None yet. AUTHORS NOTES: Enjoy!

Chapters: Prologue - 1 - 2 - 3 . Also on AO3!

Chapter 4

After the tour of Henry’s palatial house, Kal following close at their heels, they ended up in the office to concentrate on some real work. Grace was still unsure as to what she needed to do, but was grateful to find that she had her own desk in the large room, off in a quiet corner. Henry’s desk sat in the middle, one of those huge oak desks with intricate carvings that probably cost more than her car. Okay, maybe that wasn’t hard. Her car was a piece of shit and in the shop again, hence being reduced to an Uber ride from her next-door neighbor. Still, it was impressively sized, the offhanded comment that he was compensating for something playing at her lips.

She carefully reined in the urge to put a voice to it. Instead, and probably more troublesome, she thought frivolously about how it was one of those big, sturdy desks perfect for fucking if he were so inclined. But she wasn’t going to put a voice to that, either. In fact, she was going to completely forget about it and shove the thought out of her head, as unacceptable as it was.

Henry sat down in the chair behind his desk like it was a velvet-cushioned throne covered in gold gilt. It took him several seconds to find a comfortable position before he eventually focused on the computer sitting in the center. The top workspace of the desk was tidy and sparsely decorated: a few notepads, a cup containing pens and pencils, and a landline telephone. A tray for mail and other documents as needed sat at the right corner. Very much a business setup, but also with a lot of unused space. This puzzled her; he didn’t seem like such a minimalist. No man who spent his free time on women and clubs and luxury to excess was a man who kept a regimented and sparing workspace.

Unless she’d got him all wrong from the outset.

She didn’t know what to make of him, honestly, especially after their little conversation-slash-argument. Ultimately, she’d wanted to poke at him. Test his weaknesses where the subject of his problems were concerned, to get some sort of baseline to anticipate how he might react in future public situations if someone mentioned it, as they were sure to do. The story was getting old; the press wanted fresh blood in the water. They’d try anything to get a rise out of him to sell more magazines and get more website hits.

She hadn’t intended to let her personal opinions mix into the discussion and let it become as heated as it did. Worse yet was that she couldn’t really find it in herself to totally condemn him now that she’d spoken with him. Before, it’d seemed so clear cut. She’d been able to put him in a box with Dave. Meeting him, feeling him out, watching his body language, had humanized him in such a way that she had not been prepared for it.

Yes, sure, what he’d said in that damned recording was horrible, but his reasoning and explanation? She almost understood him. That, more than anything, was the cause for her initial ire. Working for Dave, and what Henry had insinuated, was a sore spot. But she also understood Henry’s yearning for a woman who met him halfway in a relationship.

After all, that’s all she wanted from a guy, too. Hadn’t she just gone off on the straight male species the previous afternoon, after her last breakup email? None of those idiots ever met her halfway, in the way she wanted them to. She gave and gave only to never reach equality in the relationship. The only difference was that she didn’t have cameras and recorders shoved in her face to catch her inevitable meltdown and spread it across the globe.

So, despite her better judgement, Grace found herself begrudgingly accepting of her new boss. He deserved a second chance as much as anyone else, right? It pissed her off. She didn’t want to accept him, and it was very clear he didn’t want to accept her, considering the way he warily glanced in her direction, but at least they’d reached an impasse.

“What?” he asked, an errant curl falling across his forehead. He flicked it to the side with his fingers. They were long and thick, like the rest of him.

“I apologize for earlier,” she said softly and turned to the laptop Dany had mentioned earlier. She flipped the lid up and hit the power button. “I’ve been working for Dave too long and I automatically think every guy I work for will be the same.”

Henry huffed. “I didn’t exactly give you the best impression of me outside, or with what I said a little bit ago. It’s my fault, really. I mean, you’re here for that reason. My mouth gets me in trouble.”

Grace nodded, and looked over her shoulder at him. “I just need you to be aware that I will not hesitate to call you out in the future.  I really want you to prove me wrong—hell, I want you to prove the world wrong.”

“I look forward to it.” He tried to hide it, but she saw the twitch at the corner of his mouth that threatened to turn up into a smile.

Grace spent the next half hour in the silent office familiarizing herself with the set up left by his previous assistant, ran through most of the emails in the inbox, and then returned to her own work laptop for any pressing matters.  The first thing to arrive was a notice that Henry had a new engagement in a week at a charity ball for the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. In Atlanta.

Grace groaned. For the first engagement after something like Henry’s fuck up, it seemed a little heavy. In fact, it would be incredibly difficult for him to show his face there with no cushion of some positive press prior to it. These people were going to eat him alive, or they were going to completely forget about the recording. She hoped it was the latter, for everyone’s sake.

“Did you see the—” she began, but paused when she glanced back at him.

“Yes.” His jaw clenched, the word spoken tersely. “I’m all for it, but it seems like a lot after they’ve kept me under lock and key for so long now.”

She agreed. Then she lied to make him feel better. “I don’t think it’ll be too bad. You just show your face, do the photo op, write a check at the auction. Besides, you might be sexist, but I don’t get the abusive vibe from you.”

He guffawed. “That’s something, I guess.”

“Sorry, I just—” She bit her lip. She really had to watch herself now; sitting behind a computer monitor on social media the last five years had made her feral when dealing in real person-to-person relationships. Maybe that was why she found it so difficult to like him? “Yeah, I’ll just shut up.”

Henry chuckled. It was a surprisingly nice, deep rumbling. “It’s also a masquerade, so if things go dodgy, I can always cover my face and no one will recognize me.”

Grace frowned and scanned his hopeful face, dropping her eyes to his broad shoulders and chest. The simple cotton t-shirt strained against the muscles contained within it. “Yeah, I don’t think a mask will be much help.”

A single brow rose in a suggestive arch. “Are you checking me out?”

She shook her head as she turned back to her computer. “If I were checking you out, you’d know it.”

“Right.”

So why was her face blazing hot with a blush? Grace grumbled under her breath and clicked angrily at the web browser to open the correct link to secure plane tickets for the trip. “How long would you like to stay in Atlanta? In and out? You have a radio interview the morning of the ball, but nothing else scheduled.”

“Let’s fly in the day before, come back the day after,” he said. “Since I’ve got the time.”

Grace pressed her lips together, dying to question him about the note of frustration she’d heard in his tone about having free time. Instead, she asked, “Private or commercial?”

“Commercial,” he said. “And I’m leaving Kal at home, so you’ll need to make those pet hotel reservations.”

Kal popped his head up from the large memory foam dog bed in the opposite corner of the room. Grace laughed. “I never knew a dog could look so dejected.”

Henry huffed. “He’ll be fine.”

“Will his master be fine?”

“Why do you ask that?”

Grace again turned in her chair and held up Henry’s information booklet. She wanted to know what she was dealing with emotionally that he kept Kal certified as an ESA. “It says he’s—”

Henry cleared his throat and trained his eyes on his computer, trying too hard to not get invested in the conversation, and in the process lasered in on whatever had come across the screen with a scowl. “He’s both, but it’s not flying I need him for. Sometimes it’s just nice to have company on long shoots where you don’t know anyone.”

“Because no one could ever make new friends.”

His shoulders tensed, his face becoming slack and impassive, almost as though he’d checked out for a minute, as though he were having a memory of something. Finally, he seemed to animate again and said, “You know, it’s not as easy for some as it is for others.”

Grace didn’t say anything. It was a sore subject, clearly, and she wasn’t going to get anywhere with their working relationship if she continued to harp on it. In fact, she guessed he didn’t really need to explain anything. She already understood the reason for her assignment to him, and it was that his social anxiety manifested itself in a myriad of ways.

When they’d met outside, she instinctually paid attention to Kal first, simply because she adored dogs and she thought it would be a good ice breaker. Now she understood that Henry probably used him, at least in a few instances, to ease the awkwardness of new acquaintances. It gave two people something to talk about for a bit, that could flow into a normal conversation. Even so, it was still strange to look at the man sitting so kingly behind his desk and know that, on the inside, he was just a bundle of awkward nerves.

Honestly, the fact that he didn’t have it all together made him a little more relatable. At least he was human; a human who made stupid comments in public settings, sure, but still redeemable. She wondered why Dave didn’t think about going with that angle for Henry’s new publicity plan. Introverts and socially awkward keyboard jockeys everywhere would love a role model to show the world that foot-in-mouth disease was a real affliction plaguing even the most successful and handsome of men.

“You’re sure you don’t want him to come?”

“Why? I’ll have you.”

“Am I a friend, then?” Grace asked.

“No, you’re my employee that I can use and abuse,” he said.

She tossed the book back on her desk and stood up, smoothing her blouse over her stomach. “In that case, I’m taking my mandated fifteen-minute break and getting some coffee. Do you want some?”

“Are you any good at brewing it?”

“Usually I let the percolator do that,” she quipped. “But my hand has been known to slip on occasion and add a few extra scoops.”

His grimace made her laugh.

“Don’t like strong, bitter coffee?”

“I come from the land of tea, love,” he replied, his voice dripping in a much-pronounced accent. The curl on the top his head fell back across his forehead.

Grace gagged. “Ugh, I hate that stuff. Just go for the fully leaded experience! Quit wasting your time with leaf flavored milk water.” She added a visceral shudder for good measure. “And just so you know, this conversation is not part of my break. Because I’m still dealing with my slave-driver of a boss.”

His face lit up in a bright smile. Really, despite the initial awkwardness between them—meeting outside, and then the brief argument earlier—he already seemed to be much more at ease. Maybe his social problems weren’t as severe as some, but they were still deep-seated if they continued to bother him at thirty-four.

She wondered if, perhaps, he didn’t need a psychologist more than he needed a publicist.

Henry stood from his seat and moved around the desk. Grace frowned at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going to supervise,” he said. “That’s my job.”

“It’s coffee, not rocket science,” she replied. “If you want coffee, I’ll be good and give you some weak ass coffee.”

He shook his head and brushed right past her out the door of the office. She stood still watching his swiftly moving ass, shaking her head. Maybe the next few months wouldn’t be that bad after all, now that he seemed to be loosening him up. And that ass, man. She felt certain of her ability to bounce a quarter off its flexed surface.

Rolling her eyes at herself, she pushed those thoughts down. But even as she tried to do that, he paused briefly as he turned a corner down another hall, glancing back in her direction. He must have caught the look on her face and the position of her trained eyes, because he laughed a dangerous, deep laugh.

Okay, that time, she’d been checking him out.

 Henry had whiplash.

One minute they were arguing with each other, and two hours later they’re laughing with each other over coffee. Oh, and she started checking him out, trying to be sly about it, but he caught that appreciative female twinkle in her eyes more than once. She could try to deny it all she wanted, but he wasn’t an idiot. Nor was he immune to an attractive woman eyeing him up.

They’d only just met that morning and he still wasn’t sure what she thought about him. Though he knew a great deal of physical attraction to someone rested in the intellectual—whether they particularly liked each other or not—a person could still objectively find someone else physically pleasing. She might hate him for all he knew, and simply found herself transfixed because she was human and could appreciate a nice body. The incredibly confusing problem was that he didn’t get the objective feeling from her, as though she were a scientist clinically considering is attributes. There was heat there, in her gaze, when he’d turned back and caught her staring at his arse.

Had her ire earlier all been for show, to test him?

Not that it mattered anyway, one way or another, about what she thought of him. She was his employee. De facto, yes, but his employee for the foreseeable future all the same. Most importantly, if he allowed himself the opportunity to consider her in the same way, he was, in a way, proving her and everyone else right. What could be the most sexist thing a man in a position of power could do? Oh, yeah, hit on his assistant. Talk about devaluing someone. He refused to allow himself the pleasure of considering her in any way but professional. It would save them all a lot of heartache down the road.

Besides that, he couldn’t trust himself. After months of imprisonment in his house, mostly away from the general public and female companionship, he had no way to gauge whether his mutual attraction—purely physical, mind—was due to lack of options or borne out of a real interest. He wasn’t about to ruin what was left of his dignity on something like this when he had so little to go off of.

Still, though, he found himself watching out of the corner of his eye as she moved around his spacious kitchen. They’d both agreed to disagree on the coffee, and he set a pot to brew while she rummaged around the refrigerator looking for lunch options. She didn’t seem satisfied with anything, and her perusal stretched on and on while they drank their coffee. Finally, she stepped back, her hand on the refrigerator door, and stood up to look at him.

“You have the most well-stocked fridge of any bachelor I’ve ever met,” she said. “My older brothers—they live together—have beer, like five boxes of cold pizza, and a door full of hot sauce. Oh, and a place with tons of fast food sauce packets.”

He couldn’t contain his laughter. “That’s not even as full as it usually is. I’m on the ‘clean everything out because I’ll be gone for most of the rest year’ phase.”

She scrunched her nose up and looked back inside. “What do you want? I can’t decide on anything. There’re too many choices.”

“You don’t have to make me lunch,” he said.

“Aren’t I supposed to?”

He sighed. Sure she was, but he didn’t want her to do it. It would just cement her unfavorable opinion of him. “You’d be responsible for securing food for me when I’m either in the middle of a shoot day or in the middle of interviews on a junket. That sort of thing. Otherwise, I can take care of it myself.”

Grace nodded and shut the refrigerator. “Good thing, because I’m a horrible cook. I can burn water.”

“There’s no such thing as a horrible cook if you can read a recipe,” he said.

“Then I lack the tenacity for it,” she replied with a laugh. “And you have to admit, there’s something in the way certain people just ‘know’ when something’s done in the oven.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Yeah, they use a thermometer.”

Grace scoffed.

“But you’re probably right,” he conceded.

Having won the argument, she shook her head and closed the door. “Have you been out of this house at all since—”

“Just my jog this morning with Kal,” he interrupted.

She moved over to the kitchen island and leaned against it, setting her elbows on the granite countertop and resting her chin in her hands. “Would you like to go out for lunch?”

“You’re serious?”

Grace chuckled. “Yes?”

He stepped away from his spot and rounded the island. Then he grabbed her in his arms and planted a giant kiss on her forehead. When he set her back down and she peered up at him with startled wide eyes, he almost felt bad for doing it. But he couldn’t contain himself. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a really long time since I’ve been out.”

“You act like you’re a caged lion and I’ve just let you back into the wild,” she said with a light laugh. Her skin on her neck had filled with a bright red blush.

“I am and you are,” he said.

She looked at him a long time, considering him a little more closely. Then she sighed. “I would have told them to fuck off.”

“That’s what got me into trouble in the first place,” he said. “Let me find some shoes and get my wallet.”

“There are ground rules, though!” She called after him. When he turned to look at her, she continued. “No alcohol. No clubs. No women.”

“But you’re a woman.”

Grace coughed. “Well spotted.”

He thought she wanted to say more, considering the way the muscles in her face relaxed… and then brightened with a sweet smile. There was definitely something else, but she didn’t say it.

Instead, she laughed again. “Hurry up, I’m hungry.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

[agreatpartner]

hack bleach brave souls

Hi

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