#uni do be giving me brain damage

[stardustlixie]

hyunjin, the heartthrob

[pairing: fem!dom!reader x sub!hyunjin]

[warnings: smut, degradation (like a lot), mean reader, lowkey pathetic hyunjin, dumbassery, confusion about feelings, angry sex (kinda?), unprotected penetration (don't do this), choking, hair pulling, bondage, cunnilingus, light slapping (like twice)]

[REPOST FROM MY DELETED SMUT BLOG]

[author's note: i can't do this anymore, the grip he has on my brain is insane. this is kinda weird?? read at your own risk lmao, not responsible for the brain damage, pt.2 might be written?]

hyunjin as the type of guy to be the uni heartthrob annoying you for no apparent reason. he keeps following you around, trying to talk to you, even tho your replies make it quite clear that you want him gone. you're the quiet, scary and academic type and he's the loud, funny and popular type. the entire campus questions why he's following someone like you around, but they're afraid of saying anything because his friends always keeping lurking, glaring down anyone who tries to question him.

even tho his friend group looks quite intimidating in the distance, they're just a bunch of dorks. and so is he. but with a massive crush on you. he finds you quite scary tho, your almost neutral expression and no bullshit attitude intimidating most people that come your way. he saw just a glimpse of your kindness once, when you baby-talked to your friend's cat, he almost lost it. but he mostly sees your other side, the undefeatable one that shows in the debates in your sociology class that he sneaks in to watch, the mean one that you once used to make someone cry when they targeted your bestfriend.

he gets off to that meaner side of you, that's his dirty little fantasy. he wants to be degraded by that side and be used for your amusement while he's unable to do something to help himself, and your softer side to soothe him afterwards.

but that just stays a fantasy.

until..

you're in the library one weekend, just to return some books and pick up new ones for your research, you walk out to the corridors to see none other, than hwang fucking hyunjin. he wasn't expecting to see you there, but he bursts into a smile, pulling his attention from whatever he had in his hands.

"hey, yn!" he waves at you, you shove your stuff into your bag and walk the opposite of his direction, also opposite to where you need to go. you can't do this right now.

it's not like you hate him, you think he's cute, you're beginning to get used to him following you, maybe you'd even give him a chance on a good day. but your day has been shitty enough as is. you can't bring yourself to interact with him just now.

"heyy, you didn't wave back." he jogs up to you and starts walking alongside you. oh how you wish he'd just be his own way for once.

he doesn't like your lack of reaction. you're not even sparing him a glace!

"come ooonnn, stop ignoring me!" he pouts at you with a whine all too dramatic.

"leave me alone, hyunjin" you hiss at him. you really don't wanna say something worse, but it's like he trying to........ provoke you? he's being much more pushy than he usually is, and there's no one in the corridors on a godddam weekend and you're very fucking close to snapping.

"ynnn!! pay attention to me!" he whines again, really wanting to provoke you. he's not blind, he notices you're not in a mood to be messed with. but a tiny, little parts of him wants to push you further, to maybe make you snap at him.

and when he crosses the line and touches your waist, you do.

you snap.

pushing him to nearest wall with some force, drawing his breath out of his lungs. you pin him there and your anger flows out, in sharp, hurtful words.

"the fuck do you think you were doing? what makes you think you can touch me? is this another dare from your group of fuckboys? or are you just a little attention whore who thinks he's entitled to everyone?"

you didn't mean a word you said, your anger was making up stuff on it's own, but he was flushed, a wild red on his face, that's when your gaze dropped to the floor, looking at whatever he dropped when you shoved him. you lean down to pick them up.

pictures. of you. not too many, not pictures taken by invading your privacy, but a few snaps of you in the corridors, or the canteen, or the library. times when you were fully aware he was there, from that one polaroid phase he had, he used to carry that thing around for a full two weeks.

the pictures flip something in you, you take your chances with him. you wanna test him, you know it's risky, but your brain isn't weighing it very well currently.

"god, hyunjin. look at you-" your voice drops an octave without you even realising it, and it does things to him that can't say out loud. you wave the photographs at him.

"-taking pictures of me like a little creep? so filthy. following me around like a desperate little slut. were you hoping to be discovered?"

you didn't expect him to be as affected as he was. breath uneven from your jump scare a second ago, ears red, with some of redness bleeding into his face, still affixed in the position you pinned him in. your leg shifts between his legs and his boner brushes against your thigh. what a surprise. he likes this. he looks away from you, but you turn his face to you with your forefinger, him gulping at the action. adorable.

"you really are an attention whore aren't you? following me around like that? clicking pictures of me? bothering me and hoping I'll take notice? pathetic." you tsk at him, he looks on the verge of tears but his boner says a different story, you experimentally press you leg over it, recieving a small whimper in return. yup, he's definitely enjoying this.

"you got hard just by me yelling and shoving you huh?"

he's torn, his brain sending him mixed signals, he's embarrassed, he wants to go back to his dorm and hide and never show his face to the world ever again. but he likes this, part of him wants you to humiliate him more, maybe do things to him that he won't be able to forget. and a part of him is even more embarrassed at the route his thoughts are taking.

you're not thinking straight. he's hot, you shouldn't be doing this, but some predatory instinct inside you wants to. you use him as a catalyst to get your mind off of whatever has been bothering you. it probably shouldn't be a big deal, he wants this anyway.

"tell me hyunjin, do you really think i don't notice? you think i didn't notice you staring at me when I was with Lin and her cat? do you really think i didn't see you when I had to drive that asshole away from her? you think i don't notice how you sneak into sociology and watch me from the corner? i do. how will you explain all that huh?"

fuck. he didn't think you noticed. he really has no explanation. he's fucked. you could report him, or worse, out him infront of everyone, you even have the photos with you. he should have thought this through. he's done for. he's pretty sure you're gonna report him-

"i'm sorry! please don't-"

"make up for it."

"w-what?" he's pulled out of his trance.

"well, since you've behaved like a pathetic slut, make up for it by actually being one. maybe then i'll forgive you"

he gulps, he would do it without second thought but he doesn't know if you're kidding or mocking him. he even has no idea how to say it, so he just sighs and nods.

"that's what i thought. follow me."

he follows you on shaky legs as you lead him outside of campus, and the next thing he knows, he's being pinned to the door of your apartment while you unbuckle his belt and whip it out of it's place. he has no idea what to expect when you detach yourself from him and seat yourself on the couch.

"come here." you order and he follows, walking over to you.

"strip." you say, he feels exposed under your intense gaze, even with you sitting down on the low couch while he stands in front of you, he feels like he's on display. he can't say he doesn't like it tho. so he puts on a show for you, peeling of each piece of his outfit one by one, jacket, followed by his shirt, then his pants, all in quite sultry a manner before he stops, only his boxers on, and looks at you uncertainly.

"off." is all you need to say before he's kicking them away, his erection springing free. you look at him for a good while, soaking in details of his body, pretty neck and collarbones, lean arms and torso and such a slutty waist, further down to his painfully hard dick, red and leaking, body supported by strong and pretty thighs. and for a guy like him, he has a big dick.

he's aware of your intense stare on him, suddenly feeling very conscious of his own appearance.

you get up from your place, his belt still in one hand, the other going to his shoulder, making him shiver before it glides to his back as you make your way behind him, gripping his hips and pressing your front to his back, as if to tease, making his breath hitch. you bring his wrist his wrists together behind his back and tie them together with his own belt.

"i'm giving you a chance to back out, i'll throw those pictures away and you can walk out like this never happened. do you wanna stop?" you whisper into his ear.

"n-no."

"good, then kneel" you smirk, pushing him down onto his knees and resuming your place on the couch.

you take a moment to admire how pretty he looks like this, kneeling infront of you with his hands tied back, breath uneven and so disheveled. so, so pretty.

as you take your pants off, his eyes fly to your covered heat, cute. you can't help but slowly press your foot down onto his dick, drawing a pained moan out of him because he's been neglected for so long.

you part your thighs and your eyes are enough to order him to get to work. he shifts to you and licks a long stripe on top of your wetness before you shift your panties to the side. he can't help but drool at the sight.

he starts working immediately, licking and sucking like a man on a mission. and he's on a mission indeed, a mission to prove himself somehow, because he knows this is probably the only time this is happening and he wants to make you feel as good as possible, make you remember him, because he sure as hell will never forget this. and certainly never forget the sudden moan from you as his tongue laps at your clit, noticing you're the most sensitive there. he keeps that in the back of his mind as he sticks his tongue inside of you, quite literally making out with your cunt. your hand comes down to grip at his hair, drawing a moan that vibrates straight into your core.

his tongue moves in and out of you while his button nose touches your clit with each movement, he pulls his tongue out only to attach his mouth onto your clit enveloping it in warmth and sucking on it, making you pull stronger at his hair before he resumes his work inside of you.

he's too good at this, it doesn't help that it's been a long while since you last did anything sexual.

you push him further into yourself by his hair and he moans right into you, the vibrations bringing you awfully close to your high. you release a breathy curse which motivates him to speed up.

when you cum, it is with slight spasms, chasing down the delicious feeling as your thighs close around him, burying him into you, almost suffocating him, but he keeps going nonetheless.

you yank him back by the hair to look at his drenched face, he finally catches his breath, making his chest heave as he looks up at you with hooded eyes. you give his face a slap, not too hard, yet he only moans at the impact.

"you like being slapped, slut?"

"y-yes" he nods as well as he can with the grip you have in his hair. you slap him, the redness resulting just adding to the erotic look on his face.

"up." you instruct, he stumbles up onto his feet with a wince and you move to free his hands. his wrists are red, almost bruised by how hard he's pulled against the belt.

you lay back on the couch, beckoning him over.

"fuck me." you order. "if you can that is." you add after seeing the uncertainty on his face, he nods frantically.

"i c-can."

he says he can, but he melts the moment his dick enters you, he's too sensitive, having waited for so fucking long.

"feels so good. fuck." he moans into your ear at the feeling as he hovers over you. he starts to move, his length stretching you out and drawing heavy breaths out of you by the sheer size, his tip touches your g-spot without much effort, hitting it repeatedly as he starts moving.

his arms shake at your sides, everything becoming too overwhelming for some reason, your warmth wrapped around him, the stimulation suddenly making his head spin.

"f-fuck... " the poor boy is trembling, voice slurring as his hips move in an erratic manner, although it's taking you time to get used to him, you take the chances you get to mock him. your hand moves to wrap around his throat like a necklace of sorts.

"you can't even fuck me, so pussydrunk already? i'll have to all the work myself huh?" he looks at you with glossy eyes as your fingers press down on the sides of his neck.

"please yn" he whimpers out, with no real context as to what he's asking for, his eyes screwing shut. his arms are barely keeping him up anymore, sweating and trembling like he'll fall.

"you're too fucked out to even use your brain huh? begging and you don't even know what for. it's okay tho, since that's all a dumb slut can do. i'll show you how you're supposed to make me feel."

you push him onto his back, getting a yelp in return and waste no time in grinding down onto him, resulting in a loud gasp from the boy. your hand finds it's way back to his throat. he lets go completely, hands falling to his sides and head pressing back into the cushions as he releases a string of broken moans while you ride him into oblivion.

"o-oh, fuckfuckfuck. oh god."

you laugh at his helpless sounds, suppressing your own becoming difficult.

"god isn't gonna save you here, baby."

that makes him let out a loud, almost sob like moan.

"please." he whines as his hips buck up in the slightest. you're getting closer with every passing second and it looks he is too.

"please what, sweetheart? want me to stop? because your pathetic self can't take it? or want me to fuck you dumb until you're left a babbling mess?" these words make him let out the loudest moan you've heard from a man. he really does get off on degradation.

"c-close. oh god, please. please. fuck." he's physically restraining himself from reaching out to you, hands grasping at whatever purchase he can find on anything around him.

"fuck. i'm close. you there? cum with me." you breathe out to him and he cums with a broken sob, his high hitting him like a train as his breath falters and his back arches beautifully, you keep moving throughout, riding out your own orgasm which hits in sweet waves, you keep going for a while after, just to overstimulate the boy a little, getting small, pained whimpers from him.

"c-can i touch you? please?" he asks, still in his post orgasm haze, his voice so adorably small that it makes you give in.

"go ahead." you say, expecting him to touch you tits or ass, but you didn't expect him to pull you body down to lay on top of him as you both catch your breath from your orgasms. he was holding on tight, like he'll fall if he let go. that little action did something to your heart but you pushed it back, not wanting to ruin the moment.

you originally planned to fuck him and kick him out, getting rid of those pictures anyway, but you think you don't mind if he stays for a while, you let him cling to you for a few minutes before the stickiness and stench of sex gets to you.

"hey, hyunjin? let's clean up hmm?" he makes a small noise but unwraps his arms anyway, but winces with you when you get off of his dick.

you pay no attention to his cum dripping out as you get yourself and him towels to clean up and put on some clothes.

he lets you drag him to the kitchen and accepts the water you give him, you're busy observing his features when his small voice snaps you out.

"i'm sorry." why is he apologizing? you find him looking down on the floor.

turns out he's sorry for clicking those pictures without your consent, it takes a while to convince him that you actually saw him taking those, just chose not to protest. well since you noticed him in places he didn't think you would, this didn't surprise him either.

you send him off with a warning not to die on the streets in a car accident.

fuck, you really need to get him out of your brain.

he's gone and you suddenly remember you need to clean your apartment before Lin comes over, you rush to find a way to get rid of the very obvious smell of sex in your living room, while you clean your brain goes on autopilot with it's thoughts.

so he's clingy after sex-

wait, what?

[gay-dorito-dust]

hi hiii its my first time ever asking anyone idk how this works ( ;｀Д´)

i rlly love your writing, i often find myself staying up late reading through your blogs!! funny bcs u were the one who got me into jason todd (ФωФ)

anyways!!! i was hoping you could pls pls pls pls plssssss write smth about Jason Todd who has a lover thats a sleep-deprived uni student having a hell week and jason is like "bitch put google docs down and get some sleep, ur ass has been awake for 48 hours" all worried and wanting them to rest and reader is like "correction, 50 hours."

i hope it makes sense (´ 3｀)

tyyyyy!!! woopee woopee

Sorry this took so long to get to anon, I hope you liked it either way. And don’t stay up too late reading fics but I truly appreciate you reading my stuff, I’m glad you like them 🦦🐿️

A week.

An entire week Jason had noticed you have been forcing yourself to stay up at the dead of night, glued to your laptop all the while chugging energy drinks and cups of coffee as though they were going out of style, and for what? An assignment that determined your future at uni should you not get straight marks.

Jason thought it ridiculous that you made yourself sleep deprived over this but he knew that if he didn’t do anything about it, then you’ll continue this habit until you were well out of university, struggling to come to terms that you had well and truly burnt yourself out before you could properly start living.

So when Jason couldn’t fell you next to him in bed one night, like you promised him you would, and groaned as he got himself out of bed before making his way towards the kitchen where he’d knew you’d be.

‘What time do you call this?’ Jason asked when he saw you in your usual spot at the kitchen counter, hunched over your laptop with a thin blanket frapped over your shoulders and a can of energy drink on one side of the laptop and a cup of coffee on the other side. He hated what this stupid university has made you do just in order to get good grades, it was harmful, damaging and it would inevitably lead to health complications later on in life; If he could Jason would more then gladly march down there and threaten the professors to stop shoving a boatload of work onto their students, but firstly he has to get you away from that damn laptop and learn how to take a fucking break.

‘Mid-afternoon?’ You asked, not looking up from the bright screen of your laptop, where the words scrawled across it in an incoherent mess for your overworked brain to comprehend.

‘It’s actually 3:30 in the morning.’ Jason replied unamused as he crossed his arms over his chest and you winced when you saw that he was indeed right about it being three thirty in the morning. ‘Don’t you think it’s time that you shut the laptop off and get some sleep?’

‘But I-‘

‘Actually sleep.’ Jason cuts you off as you slumped back into your chair, unable to come up with a decent enough response to defend yourself with because deep down you knew Jason was right, you’ve hadn’t had a decent sleep in a long while and it was definitely taking it’s toll with how lightheaded you’ve become as of late.

You sighed and ran your hands down your face. ‘Jason I can’t, I’ve got-‘

‘An assignment to complete for tomorrow I know.’ Jason cuts you off again as he crossed the room to put his hand over the top of your coffee cup upon noticing that you were intending to take another drink from it. ‘But I look at you and can tell you can barely keep your eyes open for more than five minutes.’ He adds and upon your silence, he puts the cup aside as far as he could before doing the same with the half empty energy drink, and then finally shutting the laptop close despite your weak protests for him not to.

‘No, Jason my assignment, I need to finish it.’ You told him with slow, sluggish movements as you tried to pry his hand off of your laptop, all the while biting back a yawn. ‘Just give me five more minutes please and I’ll come to bed, promise.’

Jason had enough of this habit of sleepless nights, it ends now, the professors will have to understand and extend the due date for your sake as he remembered how often you had harped on about how important this assignment was for your overall grade; However Jason didn’t take neglecting your bodily needs lightly and would prioritise that over anything else,you could hate him all you wanted but he was only looking out for you and your wellbeing.

‘Sorry chipmunk but I can’t watch you do this to yourself for any longer than I already have.’ Was all Jason said as he then lifted you out of your chair suddenly causing you to yelp in surprise and cling onto him for dear life, now being more awake then you ever have been five minutes ago, as he then proceeded to carry you back towards the bedroom before unceremoniously dropping you onto the bed.

‘Jason, I seriously needed to get that assignment-‘

‘We are going to sleep, end of discussion.’ Jason said with finality as he crawled under the covers and quickly held you against his chest as tightly as he could, rubbing his hands up and down your back soothingly. ‘I know how important this assignment was for you sweetheart but I’d much rather have you well rested, clear minded and healthy than to ever to have you pass out in my arms from exhaustion. I want my baby happy and healthy and you are neither of those things right now.’ Jason whispers into your ear, kissing the side of your head a couple of times before resting his forehead against yours so that he was looking into your weary half lidded eyes.

‘Look at you, you can barely keep your eyes open.’ He spoke with worry laced in his words.

‘You’re really warm and comfy jay birdie.’ You murmured, feeling the need for sleep grow ever stronger the longer you stayed in his arms as it fogged your mind.

‘I know, so please we can talk to the professor in the morning and sort something out, but until then no more late nights understand?’ Jason said firmly as he held you a little tighter, he just wanted you to get a decent nights sleep and be looked after properly but all these late nights weren’t cutting it and were making your situation worse, how were you meant to get anything done when you were half out of it due to overworking and lack of a sleep schedule? Were the professors at your university thinking they were teaching robots instead of humans with breaking limits?

‘Okay I understand, I love you.’ You replied sleepily as you burrowed your head into his neck, falling asleep in record time as Jason stayed awake a little longer as to make sure you were properly asleep before following suit, watching over you in the dream realm as he did the waking one.

[sashi-ya]

Hello! I'm curious about something if you want to talk abou it. Could you tell me more about lupus? How did you get it and which symptoms do you have? How you get through your days when you have them? You stay at home?

Sorry for the many questions but I don't know physically nobody that has it and I'm curious. Hope you are well!

Hello hello!! of course! It's always a good moment to spread the word and inform about certain illnesses, so thank you for asking!

TW: This is MY personal experience and my medical knowledge (rn nurse uni degree, med school student). However if you have the following symptoms DO NOT assume you have the disease, BUT VISIT YOUR DOCTOR. And, if your symptoms get underestimated don't be afraid to visit others. YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE VALID, YOU ARE NOT LAZY, YOU HAVE A REAL PROBLEM.

What is Lupus or SLE? So, basically Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (aka Lupus) is what we know as an AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE. What it means is that basically your own immune system attacks the body's tissues because it recognizes your own body parts as "threats" (like it would consider a virus or a bacteria, like something coming from the outside to hurt your insides). When your tissues get attack, that means your organs and body parts will suffer damage. And, unfortunately being "systemic" means that it can attack any tissue, such as skin, kidneys, brain, eyes, lungs, etc.

How did I get Lupus? I have no idea, as a patient nor as a future doctor or as a rn nurse. This little shit comes with you since the day you are born inside your dna, however not always it manifests. Some do not have symptoms until one day, others have symptoms and signs all throughout the years (me) and never get diagnosed until it becomes REALLY visible (let me make a little note here: even if the majority of lupus patients are female, we often get misdiagnosed because of the misogynist look that the medical field still has. Women often get called "lazy" or "dramatic", until you have eye or kidney damage like me).

Symptoms So, it varies. Lupus is not just SLE. There are a lot of different types (4), from cutaneous, to systemic, to neonatal, and even there is another type that can be induced by certain medication (this is one of the reasons why we should never auto medicate).

Important note: all autoimmune disease gets triggered, awakened, crazy when we are under high stressful situations. The outburst of the symptoms are often (if not always) triggered by a stressful situation and these are called "LUPUS FLARE UPS". So, in my case some symptoms are:

fever with no apparent reason (while being totally "healthy". This I had it since I was a kid, no fucking doctor EVER give a fuck about it. My mother got told that "I was probably having a tooth infection" spoiler: no, i didn't).

skin rash and what looks like "eczema". Sometimes over the bridge of my nose and cheeks, this is called "malar erythema" or "butterfly rash" and it looks like you have a red butterfly on your face.

joints pain / muscle pain (it hurts like a bitch, sometimes you can even move your legs) and muscle weakness. I had my right knee cartilages degenerated, also because of Lupus.

Shaky hands (and sometimes I can't even open a bottle of water cause I don't have muscle strength).

cognitive problems (i can't remember shit, sometimes I can't study, anxiety attacks, etc)

Last year during this month I got something called "ANTERIOR UVEITIS" for which I am still paying the consequences. My right eye got super inflamed and red and some parts didn't receive enough blood (like a stroke) and I lost some % of my visual capacity.

Renal problems (p a i n, stones, etc)

weakness, tiredness, sleepiness (I also have hypothyroidism, which causes me to have 0 energy so I live off energy drinks: DO NOT DO THIS)

A lot of sadness and depression.

What do I do when these symptoms hit? unfortunately there is no much you could do. I learned that nobody in the "adult world" gives a fuck about you being sick and nobody will wait for you. University don't care. Jobs either. So, what do I do? I try my best and work/study as "i can". Sometimes I just can't stand from bed, so I am lucky (and at the same I am not) to live with my family who often helps me to even go to the bathroom. I try to do stuff until I can't stand in two feet and that's when I call my doctor to ask for a permission to rest (Argentina is a country where is pretty difficult to leave your parent's house earlier like the rest, we are kinda poor and rent is EXPENSIVE)

I hope I have answered some of your doubts, and I am very very open to answer more if any wants to ask! 💖

[i-mybrunettelady]

i had some thoughts on my way home from uni. warning for body shaming below the cut if it's something you don't wanna see

basically what happened was that i'd glanced at a vitrine and saw a reflection of myself and thought 'jfc nero you're kinda fat' then i realised that it's not me but the outfit that i was wearing that wasn't how it looks best on my body so it made me look bigger than i am in actuality. then i fell down a rabbit hole of thinking so hard about how i freaked out last winter bc god forbid i gain a fucking kilo or two and god forbid i be a MAMMAL who behaves like a MAMMAL

and that's the thing, right? i have little idea how big i actually am. i am not fat (not that there's anything wrong with that that requires this much beating yourself over), but i also never perceived myself as skinny, either. i was always bigger than most girls my age, thanks to having wider hips and wearing most of my weight in my thighs and belly. i also got body shamed a lot as a teen which fucked me up in more ways than i care to think of right now.

a lot of this has to do with like. cultural factors, too? and i know my measurements, that's fine, but like. that is irrelevant here. what matters is that i'd always been perceived (by others and myself) as bigger and that's what my brain internalised and that means i can't see myself as being smaller and i think that sucks so much ass like

i always get shocked with how much ease i think this of myself. nobody has to tell me anything anymore. damage has been done already. it's how i speak to myself about myself now. and i'm trying to give myself a little metaphorical slap on the wrist like, 'get a hold of yourself' but that's not good either? i try to be compassionate towards myself but i can't seem to shake off vestiges of feeling so ill at ease in my own body and the way it looks that i heard and internalised as a teen that it makes me like. none of this had to fucking happen yet it did anyway.

your 20s are for realising how much your teens sucked and wanting to rip tear and claw about it

[wily-one24]

Weird asks: 1, 20, 34, 43, 46

Here we go!!

Who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Hahahaha. Ok. Well. I guess it depends upon the show i'm watching at the time, doesn't it? I mean, I have favourites in all my shows, but my absolute comfort characters, whom I love and invest in...

Veronica Mars, Emma Swan, Samantha Waters, Olivia Benson, Kaylee Frye, Buffy Summers, Jane Rizzoli, Cordelia Chase.

I have previously stated that I have a type and that type is emotionally damaged but hella strong women who are somewhat lackadaisical when it comes to their own personal safety when it comes to solving a case/getting justice (all of the above women fall into this, except perhaps Kaylee Frye, but she is my 'happy face/light in the darkness' lady, all the rest are my 'strength will rise up from the ashes like a pheonix' ladies).

I have many other faves and likes, however, you can pretty much narrow it down to who I have written fic for. These are my comfort characters, because fic IS my comfort. I have so much free therapy because of fic. I've pretty much written that post before (years ago, I would have to hunt it down) about what each major fic in my life was allegorical to... and I probably don't even WANT to know what my SVU fics are trying to break through in my brain, BUT, when I need comfort, this is where I turn.

Edit to add: Hunted!!

Go here to get a rundown on some self therapy in my major fics.

And here for a more in depth analysis of Paint It Black (question 11).

20. Do you say soda or pop?

No. Neither. I'm Australian. I say "Soft drink". Soda or pop? Pfft, get jumped on. It's SOFT DRINK. I mean, if you're feeling really old fashioned you can say 'Fizzy drink", but nobody really does. Soft drink, thank you.

34. Is there a song you know every word to by heart?

Buah hahahahahaha. Like, I think the easier question to ask there is "is there a song you DON'T know every word to by heart?"

I have a few Spotify playlists, my biggest one is called "Sing Loud", it has 114 songs on it, 6 1/2 hours worth, and I know every single word. Because I *DO* sing loud. And, also, it's worth noting that that is not my entire mind's playlist of favourite songs. Just the ones I sing loudly to. I have full musicals I can sing the entire lyrics to, musical episodes of my favourite tv I sing along to, entire ALBUMS from the 90s that I listed to on my Discman to and from Uni on the train...

OBVIOUSLY, I know most Sheryl Crow songs by heart (at least those pre 2010, I haven't really caught up to her new stuff yet), gimme a bunch of Sarah McLachlan, the Whitlams, No Doubt, Madonna, Machine Gun Fellatio, Garbage... anything from the 90s, a BUNCH of stuff from the 80s. I also like heaps of things from the 70s and some from the 60s, some from 2000 onwards as well. My taste is rather eclectic.

You don't quite know the range of eclectic until someone on the train watches fascinated as you take Rob Zombie out of your Discman and swap it for Sarah McLachlan. I got some *weird* looks.

My brain is very lyrically inclined and I remember so many words to so many songs, it's insane. If I like a song, I will listen to it over and over again until I get the lyrics right. Which, I have to say is so much easier NOW than it was back in the 80s, when you had to hover around your stereo so you could press play/record simultaneously the second your favourite song came on the radio just so you could have a copy...

But, yeah, once I like a song and I've heard it a few times, those lyrics are BURNED into my brain forever. That's why so many of my fics are song titles. Paint It Black, Memory Cloud, Wicked Game, Foolish Game, The Girl of My Dreams (Is Giving Me Nightmares), The White Room, Hybrid Lives, Silver and Cold, Spoonful of Sugar, Breaking the GIrl... etc... and those are just off the top of my head. This is why I used to vid, decades ago.

43. What’s your take on spicy foods?

There's a take? I like somewhat spicy foods.

I do not like stupidly spicy foods, to the point that it hurts and you can't breathe and it's basically a competition of how much you can hurt yourself to win... that's not fun for me.

But I do like a bit of kick. I like spicy thai curries, and mexican chillis, and jalepenos, something that doesn't necessarily want to kill you, but does bite back a little.

I am sensible with my spice level.

46. Favorite holiday film?

TBH, I'm not really sure I have one.

I mean, Die Hard is always a Christmas Classic, I guess? I'm not really one to sit around and watch a Christmas movie or... is there such a thing as an Easter movie? A Queen's Birthday movie? Ramadan? The Melbourne Cup? I don't really know.

(Well, there's probably a few movies about the Melbourne Cup, now that I think about it).

I'm not against them, per se, like if there was a movie on and it looked interesting and it was the holiday times and happened to focus on that holiday, I'm not going to turn it off, but I'm not going to seek out that specific movie.

The only real special holiday thing I watch each year... might be the Carols By Candlelight on Christmas Eve and the New Year's Eve Countdown, but those are not necessarily movies. They're not. One is a concert and one is... well... a countdown retrospective of the year and some fireworks.

I guess the Christmas movies always seemed a little too... faked for me. Maybe it was all the happy families (so fake) or the overly twee messages (please) ... maybe it was all the fucking snow and over the top decorations that seem to be uniquely American.

I don't think I've EVER seen a Christmas movie that represents what I know as Christmas, in the middle of summer in Australia.

@dahllaz

[whoreishghost]

ykw what actually is the point sure i have good things going for me like top surgery but how is it not meant to be overshadowed by how absolutely shit my life is. i try and try and try and maybe it seems like i give up a lot but i challenge anyone to be in my position and not give up as many times as me. no amount of littlw treats and nice things for myself is going to fix me and at this rate i doubt i even can be like 100% ive given myself permanent brain damage with all the bullshit ive been through and what do i have to show for it literally nothing its so fucking stupid i hate this so much i dont even do anything like live for my sake what is there to live for? hobbies that last hours? reckless spending? feeling shit about myself? hating everythinh about me? being alone? failing uni? what exactly am i sticking around for if not obligation and whats even the point of that either its not like my bitter bitchy self is the light of anyones life

[liliths-missing-pen]

Currently doing course selection for next year and this is going to give me brain damage 💀 Why do I need to take Pre-Calculus??? All of the college requirements I’ve been looking at have been saying I just need regular math 😭 I hate how this school pushes students to only go to uni but then says that they are saying the requirements for everyone 😃

[puesiria]

im doing my final dissertation for this random uni course on tumblr culture in the early 2010s and every single page of it is giving me brain damage to type

[leonsliga]

for the ask game: 8, 15, 22, 62, 88 and 99 if you feel like it 💛

Omg thank you Judith!! <3

8. So here’s the thing: I’m such a bum when it comes to my nails lmao…no clue why. I’ve still got a little bit of leftover teal polish on my toes, but my fingers are out here goin nude 😵 we love some good commando fingernails ig

15. Apparently there’s two #15s, so I’m just gonna answer ‘em both lol.

For 15a, god, I’m torn. I’ll tell you this much tho: you won’t ever find my introvert ass in a nightclub, and that’s a promise! As for the other three, I love museums as much as the next girl, but it’s gotta be between a forest and a library. I’m a bookish bitch, but I also love being out in nature and vibing amongst the trees, especially in the fall when the leaves start to turn or if that forest ends in a mountaintop :)

For 15b, my style is definitely pretty comfy and casual. When I’m not wearing football shirts, what I wear really just depends on the season. If we’re talking fall and winter, pretty much sweaters, leggings, and boots every day (think Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls or Eva Mohn from Skam only more extreme). These are MY motherfucking seasons. I’m a sweater slut…there, I said it. For spring and summer, I don’t care what I wear as long as I can wear flip flops on my feet 🤷‍♀️

22. I haven’t made any super big decisions recently, but I’m about to make a really big one: I’m about to apply for grad schools, and in the process, I’ve got to decide whether I want to stay in the states and round out my studies here or if I want to wrap things up over in Europe (I’m thinking Scotland, since I left a piece of my heart there a few months back). And when I tell you have I have no idea what I’m gonna do, I’m serious lol. I mean, if I decide to go to uni in Scotland, I’ve basically gotta commit to at least spending a couple of years there. And idk, I’m nervous about the weight of that decision and the unpredictability of the outcome. I might love it more there as much as I did the 4 months I studied there previously, or I might not. It’s tricky. Should I stay or should I go, ya know? Decisions, decisions…

62. The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word “heart”? Probably a feeling: passion. Giving your all to something—pouring your heart and soul into something you truly love. It doesn’t have to be a job; it can just be a hobby, something to pass the time. What better way is there to live life than with passion for whatever it is you’re doing or however it is you’re living?

88. First, a lil bb anecdote: my body loves sleep. I sleep like a bear hibernating for the winter; 9 hours is simply insufficient. I’m entirely convinced I could sleep a year if left unchecked or without alarms to stop me. But apparently this morning my brain decided to stage a coup d’état against my body, and I woke up randomly at 7am. Not sure why…I just did, I guess? So that’s fun. But my first thought of the morning was literally: “holy shit, what time is it?” And then when I realized it was the ass crack of dawn, I trust-fell back into my bed (good thing my bed is the most trustworthy inanimate object in the game), trying fruitlessly to will myself back to sleep for the next 2 hours. Eventually I fell asleep…I must’ve, cuz when I woke up again it was like 1pm 😵 moral of the story: my circadian rhythm is damaged beyond repair and not even that cute little thing called sleep can fix it.

99. Even numbers all the way, and it’s not even close! Do I know why? Absolutely not 😂 they’re just more satisfying and pretty idk

[moonofthechilcotin]

My Fosters Universe headcanons /thoughts nobody asked for:

(Adter a millionth rewatch, but first one in years! And 1st Good Trouble, but only the Moms episode 😂🫣)

-Although it's an adjustment for everyone, the dynamics of having Callie, Jude and Jesus *only* at home while Mariana and Brandon are at uni/music school must have been so nice. With all the teenage drama over (for the most part).

-Jude misses having everyone together (and Mariana is her favourite for everything gossip, painting nails and self-care) but having less of everything going on around means he gets to find himself and find his voice too and spend quality time with his moms. (And bond with Jesus too). This sweet, introverted soul needs space and peace to grow.

-I feel like Emma and Jesus sorta outgrew each other? I dunno, love them both but it seems like they don't want the same thing and it was kinda forced in the end.

-Stef and Lena make sure to have regular date nights, and I also wish they didn't foster another kid right away. They love kids and being parents but I feel like they also are allowed to be on their own for a while.

-Stef becoming a social worker is fantastic 👌 I see her starting to work with Rita on various initiatives and really dig the mindfulness etc. I see her doing a lot of work on herself to deal with her deep rooted I securities and internalized homophobia and really being able to reach out and do good work once her own issues are worked on. (I relate a lot to Stef if you couldn't tell)

-Stef and Lena are going strong, making them the couple all of their friends look up to. But mostly it matters because they love each other and continuously support each other and now that there is time and space, work on themselves and their relationship. "Oh honey our love will survive the ages"[Lena to Stef in Good Trouble] 🥹

-Stef threatens to post embarrassing photos of her kids on Instagram if they don't call/text/give sign of life every once in a while. (Once everyone is out of the house). They laugh it off, Jesus is the first victim with a photo of him as a 10 yo, teeth missing and a bowl of Spaghetti in his hair. (Brandon is collateral damage in the background). Lena doesn't officially approve, but she reposts on her story. The kids are pretty good with checking-in after that.

-Callie is a total mommy's girl. She loves both her moms, but will tend to reach out to Stef more. Lena doesn't mind, she knows Callie loves her too.

-I think Stef should've gone to Venezuala, even if just for a few months. She freaking deserves her moment too, (this is not against Lena, I absolutely love them both). But I think it would have been something great for Stef to do. (And maybe with Callie coming for part of it because why not ?! Mom/daughter bonding ?!)

-I wish they didn't sell the house 😭😭 in my head they rent it out and plan to grow old in that home.

-Jesus, Wyatt and Gabe would have been great doing the Out on a limb company together

-I don't dig the Jude/Carter thing at all

-The Connor thing took me by surprise too?!

Voilà. Just off-loading my brain here

[ffcarlos-grad604]

20 Items Description (part 2)

11 Headphones

These wireless Bluetooth headphones were a gift from my mum. I listen to music to inspire me while doing creative work, usually instrumental compositions as I find songs with lyrics to be distracting when I’m trying to concentrate. Music has the power to uplift the brain, elevating my imagination.

I also carry these headphones with me and listen to music on the bus on the way to uni and back home. In these occasions, I listen to pop genres which provide a contrast to the other types of music I listen to. Different genres have distinct effects on the mind, each complementing various moods and activities.

12 Blue-Light Glasses

A pair of blue-light glasses were another gift from my mum. As designers, we spend a substantial amount of time looking at our screens. This prolonged exposure can cause damage and strain to our eyes so blue-light glasses are essential to safeguarding out eyes and optimizing our design workflow.

13 Quilted Blanket

This quilted blanket was a heartfelt creation from a friend of my grandmother, and was gifted to me in 2016. I very much appreciate and respect the immense time, effort and love put into making this.

The patterns, colours, and stitching techniques used into it showcase the artistry and craftsmanship of the person who made it. Its unique aesthetic can be a reminder that design doesn’t only exist on digital screens but can be found in the tangible and tactile world that surrounds us.

14 Gifted Cards Collection

These are all the handwritten notes and cards, I’ve received all the way back to my old friends from primary school which I keep them in a cookie tin container. Collections represent a bank of inspiration of designers, their work, and the creative community. In a way, they are like Pinterest or Behance moodboards.

15 Peacocks

In my neighbourhood, there are peafowls that wander freely and not owned by anyone. Apparently, they lived here before the houses were built, and while most of them got transferred to a farm, some remained. In the picture, the majestic creatures are walking on the roof of my house. Peacocks are part of the natural world and remind us of the beauty and wonder of Mother Nature.

This relates to a theme that will begin to appear more in my design work as in the upcoming Summer, I am set to do an internship at Waiheke Resources Trust, a professional non-profit organisation the promotes sustainability and environmental responsibility on Waiheke Island.

16 Milo the Cavapoochon

Earlier this year, my family got our first pet. Milo is a mixed breed dog of half King Charles Cavalier, a quarter poodle and a quarter Bichon Frise – a CavaPooChon. In this photo, he was still a puppy – just 3 months old. Unfortunately, after several days, we realised we were unable to care for a pet due to the amount of time and energy required, so we found him a new forever home with a loving family. Despite only having him for a very short time, I miss him a lot and often look back at the photos and videos we took.

Dog’s innate ability to form emotional connections with their owners can be a reminder of the importance of designing with empathy towards audiences, users, and stakeholders. Having understanding of their perspectives, desires, and challenges can lead to more impactful and resonant creations that meet their goals, needs, and wants.

17 Notebook/Visual Diary

This assortment comprises a collection of unused notebooks I’ve collected. While I’m drawn to the tactile allure of these notebooks, I’m intimidated by their clean and empty pages. The prospect of creating marks on these immaculate pages is daunting and I want to overcome this fear of ruining things. I want to be able to freely write, draw, scribble, jot down ideas, concepts without worrying of imperfections.

Using physical paper and pen is a valuable tool in a world full of digital distractions. It gives us the opportunity to disconnect from screens and allows for a level of freedom and creativity that digital tools sometimes lack. Inspiration can strike at any moment and I want to be able to capture whatever’s on my mind quickly and spontaneously so that no brilliant idea goes unnoticed or forgotten.

18 ADP and ADE Folio Boards

These are my portfolio boards from year 11 art, design and photography (11ADP), and year 12 art design (12ADE) in high school. My year 11 brief was based on Waitawa Regional Park, located in Kawakawa Bay, Auckland. I aimed to represent the natural beauty of Waitawa Regional Park in various aspects such as the moana (sea), whenua (land) and living things. My year 12 brief was based on InfiniteX [Explore the Beyond], a new amusement on a planet in outer space.

Year 11 was when I discovered my passion for art and design and year 12 was when I decided it was what I wanted to pursue a future. I applied to study this course here at AUT, got accepted, and left school early, which I am so grateful for and it is one of my proudest achievements.

These folio boards are significant because they were made during the pivotal years of my artistic awakening. Crafted during the first two years of my design journey, they encapsulate the beginning of my creative evolution.

19 School Yearbooks

Skipping a year of school is something I am very grateful for and one of my proudest achievements. It signified the ending of a chapter of my life and the dawning of new one, a profound transition in which I felt a great sense of liberation. Now these yearbooks hold the memories that occurred over my final year of primary, 2 years of intermediate and 4 years of high school.

The design world offers an expansive canvas where your ideas and innovations have the potential to innovate, inspire, and offer solutions that will impact lives. Just as my experience of skipping a year unlocked new horizons, the world of design opens its doors to endless opportunities for and boundless creativity.

20 Threaded Magazine

I got this Threaded magazine last year for free when it was launched.

Threaded is run by Fiona Grieve, the Head of Department for Communication/Interaction Design and is an award-winning design studio established in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Their studio has a focus on client-based projects, as well as their ongoing international design project, Threaded magazine.

This object represents the larger, vibrant design community that I aspire to become a part of. It encapsulates the essence of a collective of passionate, innovative, and like-minded people who contribute to the landscape of design.

[sideeffx]

The whole uni students using chatgpt discourse has me feeling erm. Like I personally think the reason using AI so flippantly like that is bad is more of a giving companies any part of your personal information to potentially be sold or used for other purposes is Bad and so even something as seemingly harmless as asking it to write your essay can cascade into its own can of worms. But I just have collectively realized the fight against it in this context is more “you’re actually fucking stupid and brain damaged if you do this.” 

Which I personally just think generally correlating how well you’re doing in school and whatever ridiculous decisions you make while in that environment to your intelligence level is opening a can of worms that cascades into eugenics and I’m not elaborating because anybody reading this should understand what I’m saying. In the grand scheme of things none of these essays matter none of them are ever going to matter what matters is the societal consequences of feeding an AI in that way. Just go back to paying people to write it for you.

[thexam-union]

Castula, having dragged Kalausi all over the island for following up leads : we have fun, don't we Kal?

Kalausi : I've never been more stressed out in my entire life!

[enhas-bestie]

uni love [19]

chapter nineteen : it was never gonna be me lol (mostly written -> around 2.4k words)

you stare at your phone blankly, the lively echo of chatter amongst the students in hybe cafe falls deafly on your ears. you can't bring yourself to care about the gossip session the group of girls are having in the booth behind you, nor do you pay attention to your open laptop in front of you, displaying a blank google document.

no-- all you can think about is taehyun, who hasn't been answering any of your messages. which was odd, since you basically confessed to him about everything three days ago. you would've thought for sure that he'd be ready with a 5-page essay on your stupidity... come to think of it... gyu and hyuka had also ignored your messages--the ones you sent them asking if taehyun was okay. not to mention, kai kept tweeting cryptic tweets about 'betrayal' and 'secrets', and you felt as though you had missed a few chapters in their lives.

 you would acknowledge that you only had yourself to blame. you were the one who lowkey ghosted the group chat after making your impromptu deal with heeseung--though at that moment, you truly did feel embarrassed to admit it to your older friends. the way they fawned over heeseung irritated you in the beginning, and you didn't want them to make a big deal about your newfound friendship with the boy you had openly shared your dislike towards in the beginning, or the little deal you made with him. even worse--you didn't want taehyun to give you a lecture presented (surely with a full-on powerpoint presentation) telling you why said deal was a bad idea…. 

and then you kind of developed feelings for heeseung, and you definitely didn't want to tell them--gyu and kamal to be specific - - they would never let you hear the end of it. and you really didn’t need those two constantly reminding you about your 'crush' (unconfirmed, you swear) on a boy you would never have.

all of that aside, you were honestly starting to feel as if keeping secrets from them were tearing all of you apart. the groupchat was dead most of the time, and while you kept in touch with sunoo, won, and riki, it still didn't feel the same without all 7 of you together. keeping heeseung's and your deal a secret was proving to be damaging to your friendship--and you could only blame yourself. It was you who decided to keep it a secret from them after all. if only they could answer their messages so you guys could go back to normal...

"yn? "

"...yn?"

"...yn?"

"huh?" you gasp softly as you feel somebody's foot gently kick against yours under the table. that foot belongs to heeseung--the source of all of your life's problems. and yet somehow you still forgot he was sitting in the seat opposite yours, his laptop and notebook open as the two of you worked on some marketing theory. though you suppose he was doing all of the work--you were daydreaming about your shitty life problems which were probably (read: definitely) all of your fault.

"sorry, heeseung," you smile apologetically, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. you were always spacing off--you wondered if he thought you were a complete idiot, and that embarrassed you even more, "what were you saying again?"

the boy in front of you studies your face, and for some reason, you feel like shying away. having a crush is such bullshit - - why do I feel like this around him? I never used to feel this way before? things were easier on that first day when he was a complete asshole.

"are you okay? you need a break?" heeseung makes a show of closing his laptop, brown doe eyes narrowed, letting you know that he wasn't leaving any room for argument.

you mirror his actions, closing your laptop with a heavy sigh. at his questioning look, you slump into your seat and decide that there’s no harm in venting a bit, "heeseung, you ever feel like going to an ice-cream shop so you can order every flavour they have in hopes that you'll get a brain freeze so intense you'll blackout and when you wake up everything will reset itself to last year?"

heeseung blinks a few times at you before his lips twitch up in a smile, " I don't know yn, that's an awfully specific thought to have."

you sigh dejectedly," yeah, well I've been having it a lot lately. "

heeseung looks at you oddly, not quite used to seeing you looking so rejected. you're always spewing some bullshit and generally being a talkative person, so it tugs at his heart a bit to see you so down, "why do you want everything to reset itself to last year?"

"because last year I didn't have friendship problems," you wail dramatically, but you look distressed and heeseung knows that you're actually being serious, "well that and I also didn't have a c-" you pause, voice hitching in your throat as you realise you've almost outed yourself. well, that and I didn't have a crush on you. you clear your throat and ignore the questioning look heeseung throws in your direction," anyway... what do you do when your friends start ignoring your messages?"

tilting his head slightly, heeseung regards you seriously, "well, you should think if you did anything to them that would make them want to ignore your messages."

"I mean I have been ghosting beomgyu, taehyun, and kai lately....which really is my fault."

you're so stuck in your thoughts, you don't even notice how heeseung perks up at the mention of beomgyu's name. he watches you with narrowed brown eyes and leans back in his chair. when you look up, you're a little more than shocked to see your tutor looking a bit peeved off with his hands shoved deep into his sweatpants pockets. and lord, manspreading was never hot, but the way he looked right now had your heart racing and your eyes flickering across the room so that you wouldn't be caught checking him out.

"you're having friendship trouble with beomgyu?" heeseung asks nonchalantly, failing to feign interest, "that's weird considering the two of you were hanging out a few days ago."

you pause your aimlessly prodding at your long-forgotten muffin--a hopeless attempt to help distract your from heeseung-- and nod, slightly confused.

"uh yeah, we did hang out last week," your mind travels back to the coffee date you had with gyu, "how did you know that?"

heeseung's eyes dart to yours in an instant and you stiffen under his gaze. you're confused by his attitude because you don't think you've ever seen him look so intimidating before, and the sudden switch in his demeanor both intrigues you and throws you off.

"saw you posted a picture of him on your twitter."

"oh," you say awkwardly under his gaze, "yeah, I remember now."

heeseung nods a bit, "yeah, I thought you had a class or something and that's why you didn't have time to study…guess not."

you look at heeseung apologetically, because that's all you can do. it wasn't as if you could outright tell him why you bolted without giving him a proper explanation–that the thought of him raving about his date with yeji made it felt like your heart was sinking in your chest.

"sorry heeseung."

hearing your apology out loud makes heeseung falter, and guilt starts to creep in. because honestly, you didn't owe him an explanation about why you wanted to go out with a friend. for a minute, he also feels confusion. because why was he so concerned with your little get together with beomgyu? sunghoon couldn't have been right...there’s no way the he-

"don't worry about it yn, really. " heeseung's eyes seem softer as he looks at you and it assures you that he's not truly holding it against you. you nod at him and smile, then the two of you are thrust into silence. why did things just get awkward, you think, as your brain rushes to conjure up something to say.

"poor heeseung~" you tease mockingly, trying to lighten the mood, "you just want to study with me 24/7 huh?"

heeseung throws his head back and scoffs at your absurdity, even as his heart accelerates at the thought of you two being together 24/7, "as if. I have to make sure that my worst student is coping."

"I am not your worst student!"

heeseung smirks fondly as he looks at you, "don't worry, the way things are going now, I'll have you at least in the top 20 when next semester starts."

"oh please," you roll your eyes, "I'm already in the top---oh"

"oh?"

"oh," you repeat dumbly, as your brain reminds you of something you've barely thought about since you've met heeseung, "i just remembered... I won't be in your class next semester--they're transferring into the psychology course next month."

the two of you look at each other for a second as you think about what you leaving meant.

for you, it means that you can finally focus on a module you're truly passionate about. it means that you can finally study something relevant to your degree. (it means you'll most likely never see heeseung as much because the economics building is on the complete opposite side of campus from the psychology hall.)

for heeseung it means one less peer to tutor and one less script to mark. it means finally having most of his free time to himself, now that he doesn't have to worry about fitting extra tutor time in his schedule. (it means he'll no longer see you anymore because the two of you are studying for different degrees and the only thing connecting the two of you was the fact that you were incorrectly enrolled in a business program that he happened to TA.)

"it's gonna be weird not seeing you half asleep in the morning lectures." heeseung jokes lightly and you laugh in response, trying not to let your little realisation damper the mood.

"yeah, I'm definitely gonna miss having to be able to use you as an excuse to skip out on my other lectures."

heeseung's smile drops, "you used me as an excuse to do what?"

"oh, relax. I only did it once," you wave him off dismissively, thinking back to that one time you told ms. park that you would be unable to attend her lecture because your TA had requested you to help oversee some of his tasks, "you have half of the university staff up your ass, you know that right," you say irritatedly as you take a bite of your forgotten muffin, "all I had to do was mention you name and ms. park was immediately like "ohh?? lee heeseung?? go yn, go! don't keep him waiting! you should've told me earlier!" like what the actual hell–she's in the science building. she doesn't even teach you. "

heeseung laughs throughout your entire rant, shaking his head as you impersonate ms. park, "I'm gonna miss you yn," the words that leave his mouth causes him to freeze momentarily, because he did not mean for them to come out. he watches you closely for your reaction, more nervous than he was before.

you feel as if you can barely breathe. his words should not have that much of an effect on you, but they do. so much so, that when you look at heeseung, you feel like letting him know that you're gonna miss him too. quite possibly even more than he'll miss you. for a split second you even consider being honest with him (and yourself) by telling him that you might like him more than a friend, "heeseung I-"

"oh, hey you two!"

you falter at the interruption, your eyes flickering over to the person who walked up to your table. 

"oh, yeji," you greet weakly, "hey!"

of course. yeji. how could you even forget about heeseung’s crush on her. you lived with the girl for god's sake.

"hey yeji." heeseung says softly, and it makes you feel sick. how could you have ever thought you had a chance? you watch yeji glance at the two of you with an unreadable expression in her eyes, but it disappears just as fast as your saw it pass by.

yeji looks at heeseung sweetly, "you mind if I sit next to you?" she gestures to the chair next to him–the one the two of you stole from a vacant table so you could pile all of your excess textbooks on to avoid your table from being cluttered.

"yeah, sure," heeseung clears up the chair and places the books on the table, "here you go."

"so..." yeji smiles at you, "what have the two of you been talking about?"

your mind recalls the words you were about to speak, and you swallow thickly, "uh, just stuff...about me being transferred out of the business program next month." you can feel heeseung's eyes on you, but you don't look at him.

"next month?" yeji looks shocked as she looks between the two of you. turning to heeseung, she places a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure you'll be sad to watch your friend go, huh?" 

"yeah," heeseung looks at you for a second before turning back to yeji, "but it's okay. yn will be fine. she's been wanting to drop business since the moment she walked into the lecture hall."

the two of them laugh at your antics, but you don't feel like joining in, "actually guys, I have to go," you give them a smile that you hope comes across as sympathetic instead of cringy, "just remembered I have a bio test thursday. gotta study and not fail y'know." you neglect to mention that the test is on the thurday, two weeks from now.

seeing you stand up, heeseung automatically helps you gather up your pens and pencils while you stack your books neatly to fit in your tote bag, "again? didn't you write one like three days ago?" he asks concerned, and you wish your heart would stop fluttering the way it does.

"yeah, they're keeping us busy," you laugh awkwardly as you feel yeji's eyes calculating your every move. heeseung zips up your pencil case and hands it to you, and you smile gratefully, "thank you."

your smile leaves heeseung feeling unnerved, and his face feels oddly hot, but he doesn't unwelcome the strange feeling, "yeah, no problem."

"I'll see you guys later." you bid goodbye, waving the two of them off. you hear heeseung remind you not to work too hard and you promise him you won't before leaving the campus coffee shop.

when you pass by the window, you see yeji and heeseung chatting amongst themselves and remind your fluttering heart that the only reason you and heeseung even got close was so that you could help him get together with yeji.

your heart doesn't listen.

prev -> chapter nineteen -> next

main UL masterlist

synopsis : you have high hopes for your second year of university. so it’s a damn shame that your university’s administration messed up your timestable and put you in a business course you had no intention of being in. you’d think being assigned an attractive teaching assistant would at least make things a little bit better, but of course you were wrong once again. luckily, you’re allowed to swap modules in the new term, but only on the condition that you pass the business module. sounds good,, except for the fact that you’ve never done business in your life...but not to fear! TA Lee Heeseung promises to help make you pass your module.

you just have to set him up with his crush, Hwang Yeji.

p.s do NOT fall in love with him :)

[tag list] : @nyfwyeonjun @sunghonkers @blossomnct @creamkwan @mykalon @shit-idek-meself-at-this-point @icywhatim @echelhoops @grace1852 @msxflower @pszyfaery @ramenais @catbitchh111 @kyleeanne @kingkaithekiwi @hoonbokki @hxxsng @chuntians @miiiwaa @liliansun @azure-arcanum @youreverydayzebra @sunshine00z @heejake-en @jayk2511 @acciomylove @yurazuyori @c9tnoos @shiningstarsarah @masterofdoom @navsnct @dinosdance @studioreader @rein-deer-stuffs @datiny-zen @kpop-bambi @leeis @mochisnlix @hime98 @alo-ehas @sleepyenhasasha @missmadwoman @sunghonne @jayk2025

[btsydtrash]

Euphoric Endeavours [9]

vampire bts, poly ot7 x uni student yn

AN: Hi, all! This story is actually already posted on AO3. But! I want to try and grow a little community on Tumblr, too. So, I decided to post it on here. I have almost 50 chapters of this story up over there, so I’ll slowly be adding them onto here too. I hope that you like it!

also, i don’t have a tag list, but if you follow/put notifications, you’ll get alerted. tysm loves!

find me on twitter        word count: 4.1k

(angst / fluff / smut / gore)

tw: sex (marked with ---), vulgar language, physical assault (non-sexual)

Chapter 9 - ‘Ruination’

In the days following the night at the apartment, you and the boys have gotten increasingly closer. So close, in fact, it becomes impossible to find you without at least one of them trailing behind you, much to the confusion of most of the student body.

The previously untouchable group of model-like boys seem to hover around you like moths being drawn to open flames. They can’t seem to get enough of being around you. They were still frosty and unapproachable - a group of students had taken their sudden interest in you as implication of an ‘opening’ for new blood into their clan and had been denied, embarrassingly quickly.

Before you knew it, it was the last two weeks of your semester and you had spent nearly two months orbiting the Bangtan Boys. Your presentation was due the following Monday, and you had practically finished it all, happy to submit the work that you and Taehyung had breathed life into. Still, nerves trailed you, as they always did with physical presentations but you tried your best to hide it.

Jimin waits for you after class, grabbing your backpack and shouldering it with ease, ignoring the longing looks that get tossed his way. As soon as his eyes lay on you, his lips pull up in a bright smile, lifting his sunglasses into his hair and waving wildly, as if you somehow couldn’t see him with his glowing skin and his bright pink hair. He stood out from the crowd so clearly, it was painful to look at him sometimes.

Jungkook would grab your books without thought and open doors for you, shouldering in with his broad form and giving you a fond grin when you would tell him he did a good job. His dimples deepened, and his cheeks would take on a rosy glow, avoiding your eyes as if he were nervous. He never drops his polite tone with you, always using respectful language, but the distance between you slowly diminishes over those days until he feels comfortable enough putting his hands on your shoulders and leading you to the cafeteria, massaging the tense muscles with practiced ease.

Taehyung has more illustrations of you than he can count – fascinated by the slope of your nose and the shape of your lips. The thing is, he can never seem to get the twinkle in your eyes just right, so he would trash the half-complete composition, in irritation, before starting another. Although he was the first to befriend you, something he takes pride in and likes to rub in the faces of the others, he finds that your budding relationships with his brothers bugs him more than he would like to admit.

He covets your time, holding it selfishly to his chest, like a child would their favorite toy. He knows you aren’t an inanimate object, but he can’t help but feel… replaced when you rather spend your time with anybody else. He hides this feeling in the smallest corner of his heart, knowing that if he speaks it aloud, if he gives life to whatever budding emotion is festering in his chest, he would do irreversible damage to your friendship. So, he smiles and smiles and smiles, until he is alone and the frown of frustration can grow at its own leisure.

Namjoon thinks of you whenever he reads a piece of poetry, remembering the music in the way you speak. He shares his favorite novels with you – the two of you meet up a few times a week in your café to discuss the book’s contents, and he finds the way your brain works to be nothing short of fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. He sees the colors swirling in your eyes at the bottom of the pools in the aquarium he works in, shimmering vibrantly against the scales of the exotic aquatic creatures who call his job their home. He even finds himself telling them about you, as he scrubs the bottom of the tanks, oblivious to the blank way in which they watch him.

Hoseok still picks you up, he brings you food and keeps your stuffed full and happy. His favorite sight is you, mouth full of meat and your stomach being filled with things he provides. He doesn’t know why, but it fills a primal urge within him that he doesn’t care to try and flesh out. One time, he even had chicken wings delivered right to your door. You had been so surprised when your doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of the local pimply pizza-boy, two boxes of the glistening, sauce-coated meat steaming in his hands. Hoseok had excitedly FaceTimed you as you ate, grinning from ear to ear as you wiggled happily on your sheets, mouth jam-packed with food and your heart warm.

Jin, with his magnetizing charm, collects you from work, sitting in a corner, tapping away at his keyboard – facts and figures that you had no chance of understanding swimming across his screen for hours, draining each mug of steaming liquid you silently leave at his side – a serious expression on his handsome face. Swarms of girls wait outside the window, staring and giggling at him, pointing and whispering words of praise, but it’s almost as if it is background noise for him. He doesn’t pay them a moment of notice, mouthing for another green tea from across the room. He, also, brings you small trinkets sometimes, not really thinking about the significance of them – a silky scarf here, a small handmade bracelet there.

To him, they are nothing but symbols of his growing fondness of you, but to you, as someone who isn’t used to this kind of attention, it stirs something in your tummy that keeps you awake at night sometimes, staring at his gifts and holding them close as you fall asleep.

You never take the bracelet off.

Yoongi is the only one who tries to keep that distance between you. It’s awkward for him to come home and see you in the living room, wearing one of Jungkook’s hoodies because yours got soaked in the rain, waiting for Namjoon to finish work. He doesn’t know why, but the sight of you becoming a regular fixture in his spaces sets him on edge.

He’s glad you are aware enough of his discomfort to keep yourself out of his room – in fact, you don’t go into any of their rooms, for privacy and respect of their space – because he doesn’t know if he would be able to sleep again with the scent of you swirling in the air of his most personal space.

He hates how easily he sees your eyes in every cluster of flora he plants at the botanical garden that he works three days a week. Yoongi feels pathetic, for latching onto the moments your give him your attention – when your eyes spark to life when he drops a plate of something steaming and spicy in your lap on his way to his bedroom, to hide from the world.

Actually, no, he’s just hiding from you and your perceptive eyes.

He does, though, slip up once and only once.

He sees you sleeping on the sofa late one night, while Jungkook and Jimin are splayed out on the floor, staring at the screen in a zombie-like fashion. The blanket has fallen off your body, dressed in some shorts and one of Jimin’s shirts that has risen because of your comfortable position. He curses the boys out for their lack of care toward you and shoves the blanket over you, bundling you up like his grandma used to do for him until not a strip of skin is exposed to the air. You woke up, only a little, and grabbed his hand, sleepily bringing it to your face to nuzzle at his fingers before you were back lightly snoring.

The boys didn’t let him live down how much he blushed for days.

You would be lying if you said that the new attention didn’t make you flush from head to toe. Seeing them, men who looked as if they belonged on the cover of magazines, standing in front of you – waiting for you, giving you things, making you laugh, smothering you in warmth – made your heart skip a beat, no matter how many times you saw it.

You fight to keep your feelings under wraps, laughing off every awkward beat of silence, pinching their cheeks when they got a little too close, explaining away their kindness as just that, simply kindness, or fastidiously avoiding alcoholic beverages lest you act of your impulses under the influence.

You were doing a good job, in your opinion, of hiding the way they made you feel, too ashamed of the intensity of your infatuation (that’s what you’d taken to calling it, as calling the fluttering in your stomach ‘real feelings’ felt too personal), of being one of the other girls – the ones who fell at their feet.

Young-mi complains from the kitchen, haphazardly applying her makeup to her cheeks, drawing you out of your reverie, “You didn’t tell me he was coming!”

“I didn’t know,” you reply, throwing your hands in the air, equally as flustered. “He just turns up!”

“God, I look like such a mess!” She complains, simultaneously putting a curler into her fringe and applying mascara to her eyes. She stares at the dancer’s body through the frosted glass of the kitchen door, the only partition between the two of you and the pinkette scanning the photos dotted around in the living room. “Why did Aunt Flow have to come now of all times? Look at the pimple of my forehead! Look! It’s the size of Jeju Island!”

You laugh at her frazzled expression and soothe her with soft coos. “You look lovely, the loveliest in fact! You’re glowing. And don’t complain! You triggered my period, so now I’m three days early.” You glance down and ask, lightly, “Could you, maybe, let my wrist go. I can’t feel my fingers.”

She does as you ask with a noise of frustration, and you rub at your chafing joints.

“You never much cared for them before,” she says, suspiciously. “Why are they hanging around you like fruit flies?”

Pausing, you stare at her and give her the stink eye. “Am I the trash in this situation?”

She nods.

“Fuck you.”

Her lips pull up in a small smile before she gets a reflective look on her face. She sits down and plays with her fingers, looking infinitely smaller. She mutters, a splash of hurt painting her tone, “Everything feels like it’s changing.”

Ducking down, you look up at her and ask, reaching for her hand and hooking one finger with her own, “What do you mean?”

“First Mei Li, now you,” she says, softly, staring at your intertwined fingers. “I don’t like it.”

Your expression falls at the mention of your absentee roommate. Instantly, the gut churning sensation that had plagued you returns, and you let out a frustrated puff of air.

You pull yourself onto the other chair and ask, letting your feet swing listlessly, “Have you heard from her at all?”

She shakes her head. “Her Mom hasn’t either.”

“I swear, when I find that loser, I’m going to peel his disgusting creepy face off,” you curse Dongwon, knowing you should have trusted your gut regarding him. “I can’t believe he convinced her to run away.”

“We don’t know that,” Young-mi denies, weakly. “All we know is that Mei Li text her Mom saying she wasn’t coming home and that she was happy.”

“What else could have happened, Young-mi?” You ask, desperately. You miss your younger friend, someone who you looked at like a little sister. She could be anywhere, doing anything – completely vulnerable after her accident. It didn’t sit right with you. “You tell me what else makes sense.”

She couldn’t, letting her head drop in frustration. “I just wish she would contact us, so we wouldn’t worry. It’s been four days already.”

Jimin makes a noise of amusement, drawing both of your attentions, and Young-mi’s cheeks pink at the sound of his cheerful giggle.

You nudge open the door with a partial frown, already suspicious. “I don’t think I like the sound of you laughing in here alone.”

Jimin is holding a framed photo of you and Young-mi from your Fresher’s Fair, both dressed in the typical get-up for the annual cancer run (pink top to toe, and you have pink glittery paint covering your whole face), and he’s in the middle of taking a picture of it on his phone.

“The boys will want to see this,” Jimin remarks, snapping multiple pictures. You feel your whole face burn in embarrassment and instantly, you are in attack mode.

“Drop the photo and delete those pictures,” you demand, swiping for the phone.

Jimin holds the phone high above his head, nudging you away with his other arm, smile practically taking over his face. “Already sent it to the group chat.”

Your phone in your back pocket vibrates repeatedly, signaling an influx of messages and you assume they’re all going to be laughing emojis from Taehyung, who you have found doesn’t stray from his phone for more than a minute.

“You’re dead, Jimin,” you threaten.

He giggles, spinning out of your hold with a grace that shouldn’t belong to anyone short of an angel, and says, “Young-mi will protect me.”

He hides behind the furiously blushing girl, holding her ahead of him as a mock-shield, ducking away from your wild swipes for his head. For a moment, over her shoulder, you see his expression falter (his brow puckers and his lip curls up, momentarily making him look borderline murderous) before he seems to freeze, taking a large step back.

“Ah, YN, I forgot I had something to do today, so I guess we’ll have to postpone our plans,” he says in a rush, practically falling over himself to get to his shoes, shoulders stiff and his fists clenched.

Confused by the sudden shift in his attitude, you ask, trailing behind him, “Are you sure you’re okay, Jiminie?”

He nods, robotically, and kicks into his shoes. He doesn’t give you your usual half-hug before he’s slamming your front door shut behind him.

“Do I smell bad or something?”

You turn to Young-mi and shake your head. “Why?”

“Because I’m sure he wasn’t breathing,” she says, voice soft with confusion. “Quick. Sniff me.”

“I’m not sniffing you, Young-mi,” you complain, but the she simply grabs you and practically rubs herself on you. “Ew! Stop molesting me! You smell fine! Great, actually.”

Satisfied, she releases you, dropping onto the couch with a huff. She crosses her arms over her chest and she glares up at you, adorably. “You have a group chat with the Bangtan Boys?”

Groaning, you throw your arm over your eyes and drown out her complaints, thinking back to Jimin’s weird behavior. Fishing out your phone, you pull up your private chat with the boys and type out your response.

You: Anybody who talks smack about my endeavors to raise money to find a cure for *cancer* clearly has no soul and shall be banished from my sight!!

Gucci Boi: You look adorable, Cutie!!

Baby Bun: He’s right, Noona! He was just teasing, right, hyung?

Nation’s Dancer: Right.

Yoon: Did somebody piss in his cereal or something?

You: Is everything okay, Jimin? You kinda… left in a hurry?

Nation’s Dancer: I’m fine, talk later.

Joon-bug: YN… Maybe talk to Jimin later? He has a lot on his plate.

You: Fine, Joonie, just make sure he eats something? We didn’t get to go for lunch.

Worldwide handsome guy: You guys were doing lunch *without* us???

Sunflower: ???

Sunflower: I’m getting real sick of being left out on the fun!

You: Well that’s TOO DAMN BAD!

Yoon: Who yells?

Letting out a small chuckle, you toss your phone away from you, turning your eyes back to your housemate, who seems to have been watching you for a while.

“You really like these boys, don’t you?” She asks, sagely. “You get this little… I don’t know, this little private smile? It’s cute.”

“I don’t know why but they’re just really sweet to me,” you explain, openly. “They’re so close, like a family, and to be a part of that – it’s addicting.”

“You should be careful,” Young-mi warns, with a gentle smile. “I want nothing but the best for you, YN, you know that? You’re my bestie. I’m just not used to you being so open with people that aren’t me, but it’s not a bad thing. I’m glad you’re opening up.”

“You mean that?”

She nods, vehemently, clutching your hand.

--------

You feel hands grip your waist, long dexterous digits digging into the soft curve of your sides, running along your ribs, experimentally.

“You’re so soft, noona ,” a familiar voice whimpers, excitement deepening his tone of voice. “Is this all for me?”

“For us, you mean,” another voice calls from your side. Hot puffs of air brush against the curve of your neck and you feel a silky tongue work along the line of your jaw, nibbling at your skin before nuzzling in. “You smell delectable, Cutie.”

“Honey,” a higher-pitched voice sing-songs, excitedly. Stubbier fingers work along your spine, pressing into the ridges of your vertebrae, teasing along the swell of your ass. “You feel so good, jagi. So… fucking… good.” He punctuates each word with a light nibble along the curve of your spine. “All ours.”

A deep rumble bubbles along your other side, where someone’s tongue is working lazily along the ridges of your ribs. “I can’t wait to fuck into your sweet, little pussy, YN. You can’t imagine how long I’ve been yearning for you.”

Letting out a sharp gasp at an intrusion at your centre, as skinny fingers skirt along your opening, missing where you need them the most.

A knowing voice asks, teasingly, “Is this where you want us, petal? In your pretty pussy?”

Nodding, blindly, you reach other, but touch nothingness. The bright light overwhelms you, and you clench your eyes shut once more, feeling pathetic and vulnerable – at their command, at their mercy, under their control. You can sense them around you, the taste of them marinating on your tongue, coating your throat and the scent of them fills your lungs, but as you reach out for them, you grip nothing but empty space.

“Don’t tease her, hyung,” a fair voice demands, pressing dry kisses at your cheeks, where tears seem to have spilled out. “You’re making her cry. I hate seeing her cry.”

The voice is so familiar that you want to reach out again, but he soothes you. “No, no, baby girl. This is all about you. Let us take care of you, okay?”

A new set of fingers dip into you, pressing in deep, until you let out a sharp noise at the intrusion. You clench around them, unconsciously, and whoever they belong to let out a low hiss at the tightening sensation. Those same fingers scissor your entrance, spreading your nether lips and setting a languid pace that has your body buzzing.

“She’s so tight inside,” a familiar voice mumbles, pressing a dry kiss to your collar, nose brushing against your jaw, affectionately. “I want to be inside her first. Can I?”

“Noona… Can you cum from just this?” A voice remarks, in wonderment. He asks, and you don't feel as if he's talking to you anymore, "Shall we try?”

A chorus of intrigued noises fills your ears, before a myriad of tongues assault your body. Your pebbled nipples, the line of your throat, the inside of your mouth, your nether entrance. You feel as if there’s not a single patch of your skin that isn’t being nibbled on, sucked at, licked with a talented, determined tongue.

You let out a groan of frustration, more hot tears spilling from your eyes, as you feel the rolling heat in your gut, but you know that without the pressure inside, the relentless pounding on hips against hips, the feeling of fullness – you won’t be able to finish.

“Our baby is getting frustrated,” the teasing voice calls, pushing your hair behind your ear. “Should I play with you some more, sunshine?”

“No,” you plead, but the sound is so quiet, you don’t know how they hear you. “P-Please, I need you.”

“Which one?”

“Any of you,” you babble, borderline incoherently. “All of you.”

“All?” They chorus, amused. Fond. So in love.

You nod, vehemently, more tears spilling over with just how honest you are being. “I don’t want to pick, I can’t. That’s not fair.”

A low chuckle sounds, echoing loudly in your head, before an explosion of noise, sound and color shatters behind your lids. Fragmented glass pings around your head and you feel as if you’re being pulled by your every limb across the universe.

-----

Blinking open your eyes, you realise, quickly, that your pillow is damp from your frustrated tears, and the space between your thighs burns in a yearning you can’t begin to explain.

After sluggishly pulling yourself out of bed, you get ready for the day, dressing for work in a skirt, tights and some boots, with your work shirt. Upon stepping outside, you instantly feel that something is off.

Looking from left to right, you realize what it is.

Hoseok hadn’t turned up outside of your place. Taehyung didn’t either, which catches you off-guard.

While you know, logically, you shouldn’t have gotten so used to having them as a crutch, you couldn’t help but fall into a routine, so not seeing them – it made your heart ache a little in your chest.

You make your way through the near empty streets, cutting into familiar alleyways to shorten the distance, towards the bus station, distractedly scanning the last messages from the group chat, wondering if something had happened to them.

Baby Bun: @/Gucci Boy Stop spamming the group with pictures of your nose pores, it’s gross!

Gucci Boi: I want YN to see them! She keeps saying that we’re perfect but look! Pores! Pores galore!

Yoon: Aren’t you a human being? Of course, you have nose pores – stop sending the pics or I might throw up

Sunflower: Wanna see mine???

You: Absolutely not!

Baby bun: NO!

Joon-bug: Please, hyung, I’m begging you not to.

Sunflower: :’((( You’re all so mean!

And then nothing, until this morning. There had been nothing that gave you the impression that they were upset with you, so you know being self-conscious is silly.

You: Morning boys!

You: Here’s a photo of my breakfast (considering you guys are determined to see everything I put into my body) of coffee and a pop-tart

You: The strawberry kind so it’s extra yummy

Then, just as you had left the house, you had sent another message that went completely ignored by everyone in the chat.

You: Hey guys! Is everything okay?

You shuffle down the street, huffing a little to yourself, ignorant of your surroundings as you scroll through the words.

A shiver runs down your spine as your subconscious senses someone behind you. Thinking it might be a stranger wanting to pass-by, you move to twist out of the way, an apology already on your lips, only to bump directly into someone’s chest.

Instantly, fear grips your heart as a vice-like grip wraps around your wrist, while the other hand winds into your hair, locking you up tight. You find yourself shoved forward into an alleyway, and while you claw at their wrists, at their chests, a scream bubbling in the back of your throat, the strength behind the assaulter’s grip in your hair threatens to snap your neck in half.

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll cut your throat,” a deep voice hisses into your ear.

The warning is followed by a tightening of the hand in your hair. You don’t recognize the tone of voice at all, it sounds more like a rough, angry growl, the words garbled and mismatched, and your mind is whirring too quickly to make sense of anything outside of the fact that your life was in absolute danger.

You rear up, trying to scream but before you can get it out, his (you can tell it’s a man’s body) hand covers your mouth with a cloth soaked in something damp and the strong smell makes your eyes sting and your throat burns from inhaling the fumes.

The last thing you can remember before your world turns black is the heavy smell of cologne and a familiar blood-red tie.

- end -

Masterlist / Chapter (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16)

[byersbeefstew]

im going to go insane if we have to go on full on lockdown