#until i started writing this i didnt realise he was such a bad influence on me.. hes not controlling he just keeps reinstating how the ways

[thickest-antivirus-programs]

I know im not the victim here but i learned about how capitalism sucks and child slavery still exists through tumblr and really lost faith in humanity... its weird cause i cant go back to who i was as a child and teenager because all my dreams were fuelled by a very inacurate view of the world (i guess thats what growing up is but i thought there would be more similarities) and on one hand its good i dont wanna go back, on the other i have to go against alot of things i promised myself..

[h2bakugou]

hiya!! i love your writing <3

is it possible to request a bakugo x aizawa! reader (adopted) who has a love themed quirk, can control light and produce hardened light but it gets stronger when she loves somebody.

aizawa notices shes been getting stronger recently and he asks the staff for help, they realise she has her eyes on somebody and he tries to find out who it is. he finds out its bakugo, but bakugo didnt know she was his adopted daughter and its just a cute little mess 🥺

please take your time and stay well 💗

a/n: hiii! thank you so much <3 of course! i love the dadzawa troupe, whether it be with eri, the students of class 1-a, or written where he has a child, it’s so cute and fluffy and sfdkjgds this request is really cute and wholesome thank you so much <3!!

summary: love, it has powerful properties, and even more so with your quirk. when aizawa, your adoptive father finds out that you’ve been getting stronger, it can only mean one thing. you’ve fallen in love.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / light manipulation; love influenced - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff

wordcount: 1.2k

»»————-　★　————-««

»»————-　★　————-««

Having heart eyes for Class 1-A’s quote on quote ‘nuisance’ was a bit of a challenge. Especially when your adoptive father was the homeroom teacher. Mr. Aizawa had adopted you when you were a little older than seven, and you’d been with him ever since.

Having shown to him that you wanted to be a hero just like him, he enrolled you into U.A. through recommendation, and you got in. That was how you met Bakugou.

He was loud, abrasive, strong, driven, and so much more. But to you, he was almost sweet. He wouldn’t call you his friend out loud, even when Kirishima teased him for it, but he did consider you at least an acquaintance.

That was until the night of the school festival, when he kissed you. It was simple and sweet. Under the star-filled sky, his lips on yours, tasting vaguely of cinnamon from the sweet roll he’d had earlier.

When he pulled away, he tucked his hands back into his pockets, removing them from cupping your face. You smiled at him, your eyes lit up by the fireworks being shot into the sky.

The week after, training was much different. Even just seeing Bakugou sent your heart running a mile a minute. It was pounding out of your chest, the ghostly feeling of his lips still lingering on your own.

During the week of training, Aizawa had picked up that you had gotten noticeably stronger. Which could only mean one thing. You were falling in love. It wasn’t a bad thing, but as a father, he was concerned.

Who had you been talking with? Did any of your classmates know? His dad instincts were really kicking in. He didn’t want to intrude and overstep his boundaries, but he was ultimately curious. Who had captured your heart?

At first thought, he might’ve picked Kaminari, the two of you were close, but through further inspection, Kaminari didn’t act any differently around you. There was no evidence of the two of you even being a couple. So he quickly stepped away from that theory.

“What’cha doin’ Sho?” Present Mic’s naturally loud voice scared Aizawa. He whipped his head around and sighed.

“I think (Y/n)’s found a boyfriend. She’s gotten stronger, and since her quirk is love influenced-”

“You wanna know who’s got the heart of your little girl?” Mic teased. Aizawa just turned back around, watching as his students trained, keeping an eye on you in particular. 

Your control of light had gotten much better, being able to pinpoint locations and send your hardened rays out like missiles, you were definitely much stronger than before.

“You know, she could’ve just trained a little better, you sure it’s love?” Mic asked, curious if Aizawa was just overthinking, perhaps letting his own worries about seeing you grow up and fall in love get the best of him.

“I’m almost positive. I’m just trying to figure out who it is.” Aizawa knew it wasn’t the best idea to snoop around in your business, but he was just curious. And as your father, he wanted good things for you.

“I’ll keep an eye out for ya.” 

And by the end of the week, almost the entire staff had been watching out for you. Reporting back to Aizawa about who you’d been hanging out with. And with every report, almost every staff member saw you and Bakugou together, at the same time each day.

You’d been in Bakugou’s dorm, studying with him, going over math for Ectoplasm. Of course, Bakugou was focused on his work, but you were a bit worried.

Bakugou had asked you out, and you’d said yes of course. That was two days ago.

“Hey, Bakugou?” You paused, getting his attention.

“Yeah?” He questioned, setting his pen down to look at you. His crimson eyes were filled with intrigue as he looked at you with a gentle expression.

“I’ve been needing to tell you something.” You begin to wonder if you should tell the truth or makeup something. You figured the sooner the better.

Leaning in to kiss him once more before letting him know the truth, you’re interrupted as soon as your lips land on his.

Knocking on the door startles the both of you. You give Bakugou a confused look as he jumps up to answer it.

Mr. Aizawa is standing in front of the door, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What do you need?” Bakugou asked, confused as to why his homeroom teacher was standing at his door.

Giving you a soft expression, Mr. Aizawa glanced at Bakugou. You swallowed a lump in your throat and stood up.

“Bakugou...” You spoke softly, walking over toward them.

“Yeah, babe?” Bakugou smirked, using the term ‘babe’ as if your dad wasn’t standing in the doorway.

“Bakugou meet my dad, dad meet Bakugou.” You blurted, introducing the two. Bakugou’s eyes slowly widened, his head turning back to look at Mr. Aizawa.

“Dad? Like he’s your-”

“Adoptive father, but father nonetheless.” You cut Bakugou off before he can make the situation worse.

“I was going to tell you but we just started dating and-”

“It’s okay. I’m not mad. Keep him in line.” Mr. Aizawa nodded toward Bakugou with a smile, patting your head before giving a few more words.

“And you.” Bakugou was ready to buck up to the elder, defending his love for you.

“If she’s truly happy with you, then I’m happy with you.” Bakugou’s heart warmed at the man’s words. Glancing at you, he really saw so much in you. Love and kindness, power, and strength, someone he wanted to spend so much time with.

He was really in love with you, and he couldn’t imagine falling for anyone else. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say, old man.” Bakugou huffed, wrapping an arm around your waist. You giggled and shook your head.

“Get back to your dorm soon.” Aizawa spoke to you, knowing that curfew was coming soon.

“I will! Love you, dad!” You called to him, teasing him just a little as he walked down the hall.

“Love you too.” He mumbled quietly.

Closing the door, Bakugou pressed his lips onto yours, no longer wanting to wait. You kissed him back and smiled.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to make him regret letting you go without having to clean the entire dormitory.” You paused, your breath ghosting over his lips.

“Oh, I’m going too.” Bakugou smirked.

Bakugou was an amazing boyfriend. And when the time came for him to come to one of your little family dinners, where you and Mr. Aizawa sat and ate, talking about what happened, Bakugou was thoroughly satisfied.

You made sure that they both weren’t butting heads the entire time, but at the end of it, when you were waiting for Bakugou to be finished clearing the table, you overheard him talking to your dad.

“I really like her.” Bakugou mumbled. You peeked your head around the corner and watched your dad smile.

“She really likes you too.” Aizawa glanced back, spotting you. You let out a small laugh, watching as Bakugou’s cheeks flushed red.

“H-hey! Dumbass are you eavesdropping?!” Bakugou paid no mind to his soapy hands as he charged at you but not before getting caught by Aizawa’s scarf.

“No running inside.” Mr. Aizawa’s hair flared up, his eyes glowing red.

There was a feeling of warmth deep down into your heart, one that you would cherish forever.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[moonscarsandstars]

im having feels about alphard and i’ve never done one of these things so bear with me and also im way too sleepy but let’s not go there.

basically atticus 2.0

okay so let’s start off with etymology

the name ‘alphard’ is of course a star, because the Black family have an aesthetic to keep

but it’s the brightest star in the hydra constellation

you know who else was the brightest star in a constellation?

thats right, our one and only, sirius black!

his name also roots from arabic, which is pretty fucking metal for someone coming from a racist™ family

it derives from the word  “Al Fard“ which means ‘solitary one’

for some reason im getting victorian era widow living in windy hills writing poetry about her former lover but okay

but the correlation of astronomy and etymology between alphard and sirius has gotten me super hyped up on their relationship

of course uncle alphard was the cool™ uncle, but what if he was so much more?

what if he was the one who kinda brought sirius out of his shell?

because i cant imagine that living with the Blacks with such a fiery, rebellious personality would make for an encouraging childhood

so if sirius was this little kid, with so much pent up anger and suppressed personality

who was that small light in sirius’s life? like the one person who truly allowed sirius to be himself?

my old man, alphard

also for some reason, i get the vibe that he was really into either rifle shooting or archery

something muggle related that walburga didn’t want her kids near

but both reg and sirius was super curious, and absolutely loved it because it’s really the only muggle thing they’ve ever seen

and so every summer when the kids went and stayed with him

he’d show them his collection of rifles that he’d collected

and he’d tell stories of buying them from muggles and learning it with those wooden target dudes

and sirius and reg would just look up to him in awe because he talks to muggles!

oh and what if alphard, our old school rebel sometimes took them to muggle london?

imagine this: young sirius and reg wandering through 70s muggle london with this smart, friendly but also intimidating young man

and they’re just so excited, but they try to keep quiet because they were raised to sit still look pretty 

i hate their parents ugh

anyway so sirius finally snaps when he sees a popcorn maker

and for the first time alphard’s ever seen, one of walburga’s kids smiles

sirius points enthusiastically at the popcorn maker blurting out questions at the speed of light

until regulus tells him to keep quiet

sirius suddenly realises his outburst, and is filled with fear

because oh god, he loved uncle alphard, and the last thing he wanted was for his uncle to be mad

but then to his surprise

alphard just chuckles and smiles at him

his expression turns concerned when he sees the near tears in sirius’s eyes

“what’s wrong?” he asks in that gentle tone- that no one could expect from such a burly man

“i’m sorry,” stuttered out a five year old sirius, trying to keep tears in

“don’t be sorry! you were excited, there’s nothing wrong in having fun, is there?”

and this is the first time sirius has ever heard such a thing

so he looks up at alphard in confusion

alphard gives him that sweet, encouraging smile

and sirius hugs him like anything, holding on tightly and letting tears stain his robe

uncle alphard is actually the first person sirius had ever hugged

the only one he’d ever hugged until third year in hogwarts, when him and james had that conversation

back to alphard

these meetings to muggle london would be secret, and neither of them would tell their mother

regulus of course had his suspicions, and felt bad about hiding it from his mother

but in the end he loved fish and chips too much to give it up

especially when they had ice lollies while at the river or seaside

alphard and sirius had an even closer relationship once sirius was sorted into gryffindor

of course, he got the hateful and toxic letter from his parents

but a little while later

he also got one from alphard, which probably made him cry more than walburga

firstly because now uncle alphard would hate him!

but secondly because alphard was the only letter for a long time that’d encouraged him, and told him that he was still loved

and sirius just couldnt believe it

he couldnt believe that he had such an amazing uncle, who even loved him after he disappointed the family

and they corresponded a lot more than walburga knew

much more than walburga wanted them to

“because he’s a bad influence, mixing in with the wrong sort. don’t follow his ideas, they’re wrong”

it was also around then that sirius started questioning his own bigoted beliefs

and he started talking to uncle alphard about them

uncle alphard, being the atticus he was, guided sirius to the right path

(something that walburga would never know of)

also helping sirius make friends, because sirius was so lonely

fast forward to third year

puberty hits sirius like a fucking snake with angel wings on steroids

(dont question my similes)

so sirius starts getting crushes

but here’s the thing- he doesnt have crushes on girls

why not?

marlene was pretty, so was alice and emmeline

so why didnt he want to snog them senseless like james peter, and the rest of the boys did?

he sends letters to uncle alphard, who tells him not to worry

because as all, it doesn’t happen to everyone, and sometimes it takes a little longer for some people

it was also worth mentioning that he wanted to grow closer to fabian prewett

he didnt know why, but he probably wanted to hang out more often with fabian

and so he does

he hangs out much more with fabian, and finds that fabian wants to hang more with him

and that makes him happy

so one late night, both of them were staring at the stars, stolen drinks in hand

(they were at the age that firewhisky tasted disgusting, but an lightly alcoholic butterbeer or gillywater wasn’t bad)

so here they are

and neither of them knows who started it

but suddenly they were snogging each other senselessly

and sirius knew deep down it was wrong, but he just didnt want to stop

because there was this feeling growing inside him- this warm feeling that just made all the rules broken worth it

the next day, however, they both wake up in all sobrierity

and the horror of what they did hits them both like a brick

both of them run away from each other as fast as they can, fabian running to the kitchens and sirius running to the common room

what’s the first thing he does?

he writes to uncle alphard

because uncle alphard would know what to do. uncle alphard would know how to fix this

uncle alphard’s reply was like a punch in the gut for sirius

there wasnt a way to fix it

but there was more

sirius wasn’t broken

sirius wasn’t broken

sirius wasn’t broken

and though there was a hidden part of him screaming in his motehr’s voice

he knew that if alphard said he wasn’t broken, then he really wasn’t

and it was that moment that sirius felt it the most

not when he was sorted, not when andromeda patted him on the back

it was now that he felt accepted

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[animatedarchives]

Could I get a matchup for bnha, bsd, and hq? That’s a lot of writing so I understand if this takes a bit! I’m a straight Hispanic female, 5’4 with brown hair and brown eyes. A little chubbier. I’m a Virgo with infp personality type. I like to watch Netflix, swim, and draw. I’m fairly motherly and I like taller boys. However, I’m very moody and touchy and affectionate, just a ball of loving brat ig? I like to tease and to be teased and I’m flirty without realizing it lmao. Thank you so much!! xo

HIIIII JJ sorry this is kinda long LOL I COULDN’T HELP IT BC I LOVE THEM SM 🥺🥺 like i gave you two of my favourite boys and I DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU LIKED THEM TOO UNTIL WE TALKED HAHA and by the way, i wrote this beFORE i knew you liked them so this was not influenced in any way it was my gENUINE MATCH UP FOR YOU OKAY i love you you LuCky girl 😤😤 i hope you enjoy!!! 😙❤️

warning: suggestive content

i match you up with...

oikawa

he teases you a lot and damn, is he good. he’s such a sweet talker and he knows exactly how to get you all flustered. however, oikawa is the kind of man who’s just all talk. he’ll say all these flirty things and act like he knows exactly what he’s doing, but once you actually hold his hand and look into his eyes, telling him that you love him, his brain just completely shuts down and he starts blushing like crazy. being a motherly person, you are able to take care of him, making sure he’s had enough rest and food and that he doesn’t overwork himself. you’re there to keep him in check because sometimes he gets too lost in his own thoughts and standards that he forgets about everything, resulting in him hurting himself and the people around him. he provides the same support for you when you’re moody as well; he’ll be there to comfort you when you need it, but he’s also attentive to your moods and knows when you need space and time alone to sort out your thoughts and emotions. he enjoys swimming with you because he knows you love it and it helps him keep in shape too. but he always prefers go to the beach, just so he can see you in that one bikini he thinks you look so hot in (and also because he wants to show off a little too, but who’s complaining). oikawa loves everything about you, from your caring personality to your banging body and he truly would not trade you for anything in the world.

and...

dazai

this man literally flirts with you 24/7. there’s absolutely no escaping it but it’s fine because you secretly love it anyway. he’s also extremely touchy and is always riling you up. he loves to get you all hot and bothered, and just when things start to escalate, he’ll immediately stop, not giving you what you want. “woah, look at the time! sorry darling, but i have to go to work now. i’ll see you tonight!” he’ll say as he slips out of your hold. he kisses you hastily and walks away, the smirk on his face evident as you are left high and dry. however, despite all the teasing and playfulness in your relationship, your love is still deep and meaningful. not all of dazai’s touches are sexual and he never sees you as an object he can use to satisfy himself. he actually loves you very much, even though he’s not completely sure what love is. many times he’s questioned whether or not being with you is the right thing, because he fears that he’s dragging you down with him. but by the way you hug his cold wet body as you pull him out of the river for the umpteenth time, the way you kiss him and the way you tell him you love him, it shows him that regardless of all that he is, you still want him. that you still love and accept him. and then he realises that maybe he doesn’t have to struggle alone. maybe he doesn’t have to do life alone. and if that were true, then you would be the only one he could ever imagine doing life with.

and...

kaminari

this boy is a giant ball of energy and he definitely needs someone to calm him down and look after him. you, being a motherly person, fit the bill perfectly and you’re always there to make sure he’s paying attention in class and not getting into too much trouble. don’t be mistaken though; although you have to take care of him a lot, your relationship doesn’t revolve around you babying him all the time. in fact, life with him is never boring and you guys always have the most fun. he loves to make you smile and he’s always making stupid jokes and doing dumb things just to get you to laugh (the sound of it never fails to make him smile like an idiot). he always knows how to lighten the mood and make you feel better. he also definitely tries to flirt with you, but he’s really bad at it. it’s just really cheesy and corny and it makes you cringe all the time (but you love him regardless). but when he’s horny however, he becomes an entirely different person. suddenly, he takes charge and isn’t someone you have to look after anymore; he looks after you. suddenly, his teasing just magically isn’t so bad and in fact, he knows exactly what he’s doing (and trust me, things get spicy). besides that, he loves to cuddle with you while watching netflix together. he always wraps his arms around your waist and when he eventually falls asleep, he unconsciously pulls you closer, just to feel your body near his.

[mikkock]

HELLO I ADORE YOUR OCS SO MUCH WILL YOU TELL ME ABOUT KAI HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL "YOUR DAUGHTER CALLS ME DADDY TOO" DOUCHEBAG AND I FUCKING LOVE HIM AND WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM

LBLMVBGK THANK U OMG love it when ppl like my kids, im a proud dad rn

ALSO wrow congrats on ur on point analysis, cause, that’s the Essence Of His Being (fun fact since i got two characters who go by the name of kai -cause fuck that basic writing tip that says ‘dont have two characters named the same thing- i usually refer to him as The Bad Kai cuz he a bad bitch)

so lets unwrap that dude shall we uwu 

SO this dude was created when i realised my story didnt have antagonists so i made a bunch of Bad People and then they all became good people after i started giving them more personnality somehow eXCEPt him for some reason, the only survivor of the “everyone will be baby” plague, the only rude bitch in this house, the only guy who’s still on the dark grey side of morally grey...but tbh im in love with him cause he’s an asshole and im an idiot so like.

His base concept was basically something along the lines of “fuckboy but make it Couture”, like douchebag indeed But Gotta Be Fancy at being one, gotta add a pinch of Sneaky Bitch in the pot. His aesthetic is Chillin, gettin in ur pants, then moving on for some more chillin and more pants. So if you’re into some funky sexy time with no pressure and no ties, ya gon get along, your goals meet, time to have fun.

All that is supported by his charisma, cause unless ya got some nasty history, he’ll just look like that charming bad-boy “oho hot dude with a dangerous but not agressive” vibed person, and he’s quite a sweet-talker. He’s probs not only the ‘your daughter calls me daddy’ kind but also ‘and so will YOU, i’m scoring with the whole family and you wont stop me (and you wont WANT to stop me)’ 

He got that handsome ppl priviledge ya feel

but also, he wouldnt be a rude guy if he was just the ‘i enjoy chill frick-fracking and im just so sexy that no one can say no to that booty’ guy

Dude got quiiite some spite-fueled ego and Does Not Take losing well, and will not, in fact, let himself lose on any objective he has, and when that objective is A Person, he gets ugly. Being good at sweet talking also means being good at small stuff like “not saying exactly the truth always when it would be more beneficial not to”, “deliberately using euphemistic, ambiguous or obscure language so to mask wrong doings and technically saying the truth but in such a way that it becomes completely masked by a thick fog of bullshit”, and “use words and behaviour in general to influence others unscrupulously so to get something in return”. Even a little “playing with their perception in order to make them doubt in their thoughts and selves”. In short dude got no qualms about using all the tools of manipulation available if it means that he comes on top (or on bottom if the goal was getting an assful eeeeeey we’re masters of comedy here) It tends to be all for short term results tho, so not much your ‘boyfriend who convinces you you’re nothing without him” and more of a “you thought you were dating but only you were thinking that as he always kept it just vague enough to have you not official yet convinced of his and now you’re blaming yourself for believing you were together”

master of getting ass, also master of Ugly Ass Breakups, and master of suddenly dissapearing from your life so hard that you wonder if it was just your imagination all along (he got ugly past with a bunch of other ocs especially he’s ex boyfriend with two that are now together cause i dig that sort of drama the sAME dUDe gave u the trust issues that held u from going full lovey dovey ? i fucking lIVE off that kinda shit wait until he pops back like ‘oho hello fancy seeing YOU TWO here my two fave exes together incredible what a small world”)

Though I have to rework on all that cause that backstory is oLD AS SHIT (like prolly i built it in what, 2016? ew ugly) I had that stem from some sort of neglect-fueled inferiority complex. I had given him a kinda cold family with a bunch of siblings who got Way More Nurtured due to their respective talents and achievements, having him left behind and feeling like he got nothing. SO that’s basically the explanation as of today but i dont like iiiiit anymooooore so I’ll have to work on it to make it something i dig, cause idk, bitch feels flat so far.

BUT i do intend on keeping the whole concept of ~Loneliness~, and of him working alone and quite hard for anything he gets. And the general need of proving himself that had come from the WIP backstory. I don’t exactly see him as an overachiever at all, but definitly as an obstinate and persevering hardworking guy, because “Look YALL I WAS aBLE TO DO THIS YALL THOUGHT I COULDNT HUH YALL LOOK DOWN ON ME well fuck u cause idc im better than u now also ur mum’s into bondage i kno from experience bye”. So tbh pair up with him for group projects, you’ll be sure his share of the work will be done (but also if you dont do yours then he’s probably going to be a bITCh about it, no remorse in leaving blank slides in the middle of the powerpoint and then loudly proclaiming ‘OH RIGHT This was supposed to be Kevin’s part but I suppose he never sent it to me, despite the numerous reminders i sent him, no big deal, no hard feelings, its ok sweetie we all sometimes feel too lazy i forgive u :)” )

Also he’d be Chill to hang out with for like, parties, nights out at the bar, that kinda shit. He definetly has some beans to spill about quite some people, he gathers the goss as he gathers lovers (i was gonna end that in “as he spreads legs” but it sounded too PG-18 for this good Well Behaved family friendly blog) and Will Not stay tight lipped, and Will be a bitch when trashtalking people, and It Will Be Entertaining as it always is when you’re hearing about crazy exes and you’ve had some beers. 

Now trivia that idk where else to write cause idk i stupid or more like disorganised :

- he digs red ale beer like if ya wanna win him over with the appropriate alcohol offer there u go

- he’s a fake blonde (cause my hobby is painting regrowth roots on hair)

- his design is a mixture of those 3dgy denim boys u see on pinterest and the specific brand of fuckboys that are french-L-section-chic-grunge-hipster-fuckboys (L section is like a branch of highschool)(that word combo is a so specific kinda guy)(its kinda like a softboi but more arrogant but in a lowkey way)(also they rich)(but he’s not rich so guess that should make him Less Arrogant)

-im constantly dead afraid of giving him more characteristics and story or whatveer cause he’s the only meanie i got left and i do Not want him to stop being an asshole but everytime i develop a character they end up nice or redeemed or whatever and i wanna keep him a bitch so i neglect him (just like his parents in his 2016 version wow)

he smokes (prolly started quite early to Be Kool and now relies on it for stress relief)

he’s outspoken and extraverted and prolly the guy who had a lot to say when you were doing debates in class (there’s always that person who has a Lot to argument about)(its him) but outside of a Set and Defined debate structure he probably doesnt give his mind voraciously 

he’s a law student and despite saying he’s the one bad guy left he probably wont be a corrupt lawyer or judge or whatever like come on he will do his job properly he worked hARD FOR THIS justice may be served

he’s not the kind to openly hate or even dislike anyone cause what’s the point of wasting your energy on that? its much funnier to him to be obnoxiously Neutral with someone and basically ignore them but still strike them with some Spikes of passive-agressive comments, let them be Mad at your calmness

he’s 177cm tall (that’s like 5.8 according to google)

honestly if you’re bros with him he’s fun to be with the being a jerk is completly coincidental 

he probably ranks high in the list of “those criminals who steal big lighters from their friends” 

i think at a point his design had tattoos but i forgot the designs of those so now he doesnt anymore

a dog person

i think ive run out of facts (or my brain dead) so im leavin with a shirtless pic cause my hobby is drawing tits

in short, charming asshole who can get ugly, secretly feels lonely and small, works hard for himself, better have him as a friend than as a foe though probably not the most frontally agressive enemy, and also, your booty, hand it over.

[scripttorture]

Not sure if this really counts under your remit, and you might not be a Tolkien fan, but I feel strongly that neither Sauron nor Gandalf should have gotten any information whatsoever from Smeagol, who had lived with the One Ring over half a millennium and stayed strong enough not to fade into the shadow.

I’mnot a big Tolkien fan but I do have some fond memories of his worksbecause my English Grandfather loved them hugely. It’s been a whileand I can’t remember all the details of these sections though.Mistakes relating to Tolkien passages are all mine.

I’mnot sure from the question whether you’ve read much of the blog sofor the sake of the argument I’ll start with the scenario itself.

You’reright. Torturefor information does not work. It doesn’t matter how ‘strong’,how ‘cowardly’ or how ‘bad’ a person is: we’re just notwired that way.

Usingtorture in fiction as a way for characters to obtain accurateinformation is a form of torture apologia that has influencedthe use of torture in reality.

Thiskind of portrayal isn’t just unrealistic, it’s harmful.Especially when (as here) it’s used partly to emphasise negativeaspects of the victim.

Butthe vast majority of the work that proved this was published afterTolkien had written his books and a lot of it came out after hisdeath.

Myinstinct here is to put Tolkien in the same bracket as Orwell: he waswriting at a time when accurate information on torture was lessreadily available. I think someresearch had been conducted at that point but nothing like the extentof serious scholarship there is now.

TheMinnesota Starvation Experiment wasconducted and published before Lord of the Rings. But things likeFanon’s observations on torturers and Alleg’s account of tortureweren’t until later. And accounts from the Franco-Algerian war hada huge effect on- well everything.

That’snot to say that the Second World War didn’t have a massive effecton global politics and the development of the concept of HumanRights. Clearly it did. Inmany countries it was the beginning of a concerted anti-torturemovement in legal and political spheres. But it took quite a whilefor researchers to really catch up.

Probablypartly due to cultural factors but I think the greater difficulty inrecording and transporting testimony and analysing that testimonyshouldn’t be discounted.

YesI think Tolkien’s portrayal of torture (in this particular case) iswrong. It’s unrealistic. It’s informed more by myths andstereotypes that support torture than it is by the reality oftorture.

ButI’m hesitant to blame Tolkien, just as I’m hesitant to blameOrwell for his poor portrayals in 1984.

Bothof them were working in a time when we had far less understanding ofpsychology, memory and pain. There was far less research on howatrocities effect people and how people recover.

Thereare a lot of elements in Tolkien’s work that I personally think aresuspect and he couldreasonably have been assumed to know better. (Thereare a large number of blogs discussing issues of gender, sex, raceand disability in Tolkien and those discussions are beyond the scopeof the blog).

Inthis case I don’t think he could, entirely.He couldreasonably have made the ethical leap and realised that using tortureto characterise Smeagol in negative ways was… not gentlemanlybehaviour. But he could not reasonably have deduced fifty years worthof psychological and physiological research in advance.

Thatdoesn’t make the use of torture in the story any better and I thinkit’s important to be aware of these tropes and stereotypes when weread. The fantasy genre doeshave a marked tendency to use torture casually, for shock value, totreat things that aretortures as if they’re harmless and to show ‘good’ peopleresisting torture while ‘bad’ people ‘crack’. I hope thatchanges one day.

ButI don’t think we can expect it to change retroactively.

Allworks have flaws and it’s up to us as individuals to decide whichflaws we can accept in a work and which we can’t. I think aswriters we should strive to do better than the people who came beforeus. But that doesn’t mean discarding past works out of hand.

Thereis nothing wrong with being moved by a work that has serious flaws,except perhaps when combinedwith seeing the flaws as virtues or pretending they don’t exist.

Ihope this helps. :)

Disclaimer

[crafiet]

1-50 of the writer’s ask thing, go!

BITCH UR RUDE AF

The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?mostly yeah but it depends on my mood2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?both, i was a complete pantser up until recently but ive been trying to outline big scenes so i know where im going3.     Computer or pen and paper?computer for drafting. pen and paper for outlining/planning4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?not published, dont wanna be5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?none but yesterday i wrote 2k /shrug6.     Single or multiple POV?usually single but ive been trying multiple!! its hard!!! idk what voice is!!7.     Standalone or series?ugh again mostly standalone, but ive been dabbling in series8.     Oldest WIPmy spies one which went though a fantasy and scifi phase and was originally dystopian9.     Current WIPmy mages! i have no titles bc who10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?nup

The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the mostuhhhh to be fair im v easily influenced so if i read a book and really like it i subconsciously try to implement that style of writing or try out that genre in my own work12.  Describe your perfect writing spacea desktop next to a big open window where i can play music without headphones13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polisheduhhhh i dont have a finished wip yet so idk lol usually: idea→ characters→ plot→ spur of the moment 10k word vomit→ more planning, outlining→ more words→ repeat planning and drafting until finished14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?i just take a break, read some bad books, read some good books, look at writing tumblrs and just marinate for a bit before going back in15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?i perpetually have it and since i dont have deadlines or a publishing contract i just ride it out, writing is strictly a hobby for me16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?i edit as i go, im onto draft 2 of my mages but its technically a rewrite bc i changed most of the plot17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?i have none atm, but i usually pick a time where i know i wont be disturbed/distracted so usually at night18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?idw collab sdkksdlkbnsd die19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?i just really really like my worlds lol conceited 20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?i have!!! 5?

The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?oh mannngggg i like all my protagonists, ary is the easiest bc shes the one i work with the most, but its super entertaining to be in remy’s head, and i like calyp’s bc hers is so different AAHH22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?remy and seth orrr red and kieran. if im answering this correctly? or do u mean types of pairings lol idk23.  Favourite authorhummm idk every author i really like have books i dont like so i cant say24.  Favourite genre to write and readfantasy25.  Favourite part of writingworldbuilding *.*26.  Favourite writing programgoogle docs. it would be word but im too poor to buy it lol27.  Favourite line/sceneidk if this is my favourite but“I am at least trying to be civil.”“I am being civil. You want me to yell at you? Turn into a wolf and fight it out like you’d want?”Kieran closed the file and stood. “I don’t—rem—”“Remember.”“I don’t remember you being so—” He searched for a word, but gave up and growled instead. Red got the idea.“Angry? Callous? I ought to reteach you the English language.”“I know how to speak,” Kieran blurted. “Remember, I spent twenty-four years a full human.”“And look how fast that’s disappeared.”28.  Favourite side characterwhat are side characters lol ENSEMBLE CASTS29.  Favourite villainossssshhhh probably michael bc i love him30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetive started on all my wips im one of those bastards who can multitask

The Dark31.  Least favourite part of writingactually drafting lmao32.  Most difficult character to writeprobably christine bc shes meant to be relatable and down to earth and thats boring smh33.  Have you ever killed a main character?yes, not a pov one though34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?probably any scene that requires a lot of research on a topic i know nothing about, like hacking or sword fighting or whatever35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?bridging scenes suck theyre necessary but they SUCK

The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote“My plan would go smoother with you involved, but I can find others. Many want his head.”37.  First sentence or your current WIPShe squinted in the harsh light.38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever hadugh this girl who could see deaths coming and she worked for the fbi but she was like 15 so she still had to go to highschool lol39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever hadprobably her, only bc i was 13 when i created her and was reading this banshee series but somehow didnt connect??? and didnt realise she was a banshee?? without the screaming40.  Share some backstory for one of your charactersomg all of my characters have purposefully murky backstories bc i find that trope cool af lol. i guess ary has that typical woe-is-me backstory where her parents were killed, she spiraled and got involved with the wrong people and then was betrayed and arrested lol

The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?literally i swear by: trying anything out. fiddle with pov, tense, perspective, genre, character identity, hell take a story you like and try to put your own spin on it. writing as a craft only gets better with practice and my best work is when im going outside of the box/my comfort zone42.  How do you feel about love triangles?is this even a debate anymore, this trope got flamed so hard i havent seen it in ya in years. i dont really care about it43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?good lol my outlines are usually done on the spot and i come up with more creative plots/scenes if i can think on it a bit44.  How much research do you do?i edit as i go so i research as i go. my pre-drafting research extends to saving links on things i might wanna write about and thats it lol. i would say i dont do as much as i should45.  How much world building do you do?a lot lol i LOVE worldbuilding. but i find it hard to incorporate it into my draft naturally so a lot of minute details get cut 46.  Do you reread your own stories?all the time lol i forget what i wrote half the time47.  Best way to procrastinatetwitter–OR if u wanna seem “productive”, writing blogs are a good way to get distracted48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?bitch there was a time where i only wrote self insert characters lol49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?im too lame to hang out with any of my characters. they would be nice to me but i wouldnt get to know them like how i know them from an author perspective50.  [Other question—ask me anything]u didnt ho

[asksansweredpdf]

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? i feel like it was teenage rebel - chameleon circuit hahaha

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? well, i often do tarot spreads for this. but i guess i would ask - you know. i’m not sure

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? literally just surviving it all

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? maybe a few work ones, or the time not long ago i was put in a group assignment for uni. we all decided to meet up after our group presentation for drinks and hang out and i had a really fun time making new friends and hanging out with people

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? oh man i would have WAY less anxiety about everything. knowing that nothing i do will matter in a year would be so freeing and liberating. i’d probably get a new job and actually get my motorbike license and go for rides 

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? i don’t have a bucket list but i’ll try to think of 3 things i’d like to do before i die -

this has been in my drafts for days and i honestly can’t think of a thing. 

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? nope

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? honestly i can’t remember. oh! i think maybe 6 months ago i got high and started over thinking and got sad and started crying. my roommate walked past because i forgot i had the door open and hugged me and then left after a bit

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. ideally, it’d be a close friend. but i dont have those. so maybe if i could go back in time and stargaze with an old friend. otherwise, my current friend hj is cool! actually, i’d love to get high and stargaze with him.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? i have before. but no, i wouldn’t now. i’m not like that anymore

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? it was 4 months ago, with my old best friend’s ex-boyfriend (i think they broke up? i dont talk to either of them anymore). i used to be close to him anyway, like we were also best friends. and we used to be roommates.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? i’d love to look my mother in the eyes and say “i’ll never forgive you” but. it doesn’t feel right as much as i mean it. i guess i’d like to say it to both my parents. but i have to pick one person. .... i guess i would get my old best friend who i havent spoken to in 6 years and say “i’m sorry. i missed you for years. i’ll always love you” or something equally dramatic

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? i have them and i love them. they’re so beautiful

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. i’m picking a few because fuck the police “being human is a condition that requires a little anaesthesia” was from the bohrap movie. relatable mood. reminds me of my mother which makes me uncomfortable “fall down 7 times, stand up 8. higher, further, faster” from captain marvel. i’ve been through soooo much fucking shit in my life. and i feel like it just keeps coming (well. the shit keeps coming and it don’t stop coming and it dont stop coming and it dont stop coming and it dont stop coming) and sometimes i wonder what the point of it all is. like what’s the point of trying to be happy when i’m just going to be let down again. and so it’s encouraging to change perspective from that to, we get up higher, further, faster

“my skin has gone from porcelain, to ivory, to steel” - sansa stark  it ties in with the captain marvel one. in that shit just keeps happening. and i feel the same way. i used to be so free and naive and i’m not that person anymore. i guess it makes me feel less alone. 

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? “

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? buy a house for myself, buy a few investment properties so that i know i’m always secure financially. put a couple million in the bank. buy houses for my friends and family, donate the rest

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? yes and yes. i feel like i’m really understanding, and so i forgive people when it’s understandable. but once it’s past a certain point, i’m not at all forgiving. i hold grudges too. i like being this way

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. “hey kid. happy birthday! well, this is where things start to get really hard. you’re going to go through a lot even though you think you won’t. people are going to leave you and treat you despicably and betray you. almost everyone you love will completely screw you over. you will have no one to count on except yourself. i’m not saying this to scare you. but i want you to know that even when you feel like it’s too much to handle, you’re so much stronger than you’ll even realise. you have so much turmoil ahead of you, but i love you so much. you’ll come out the other end with anxiety and so scarred. but you’ll survive it. all of it. you’ll survive. there’s no lesson or greater purpose. i’m not going to tell you that it all happens for a reason, because it doesn’t. just trust that you have what’s in you to face anything. once day this will all feel like a bad dream and you’ll start to feel like yourself again. best of luck. ps there is no god”

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? punk

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. love them both. they’re hot and cool

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? nah, i only wear make up to work. and that’s because i work in sales. part of getting people to like you is being attractive. make up makes you more attractive. when people like you, you have more influence over them and you make more sales

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. runaway by pink. that song just. what a mood. and family portrait. i relate to both of those songs so much. even when i was going through shit, i had that song that i could sing and even though things were never okay, they made it bearable

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. be kind to each other?

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. 1st was a pink concert i went to when i was 15! we were super poor so this was a major deal. i waited in line for ages and my back started hurting real bad. but as soon as she got on stage everything went away. it was electrifying and she performed my favourite song. and i had eyeliner on which i cried off because she was my idol and it was amazing. her dancers were also super hot and i re-affirmed my bisexuality because i was like. wow. yes 2nd was lana & borns. my sister made me go with her to see lana del rey who i dont really give a shit about. she’s cool but im not like a major fan. borns however, i adore with every fibre of my being. borns was the opening act which was cute. i was one of the only ones in the crowd who knew him and everyone behind me was like gasping and talking about how cute he is. which also re-affirmed my sexuality. up until that point i thought that maybe i was a lesbian because i didn’t tend to find men too attractive. but borns? nope, i knew i was bi. then lana came on. it was okay. i knew a fair amount of the songs and apparently pissed everyone off by singing? i just thought that’s what you did at concerts dsjgdslkr but i had fun.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? i would love to get a letter from an old best friend of mine saying sorry & that we should catch up. i feel like i havent had a friendship as full of connection as the one we’ve had. it’s been years and i still dont have anyone that could possibly replace her. but i worry that if we ever did try to re-kindle things it just wouldnt work out. which would lead me to ask myself if there was ever going to be anyone else who i’ll have that connection with. but it’d be nice at least

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? i don’t have a desk! i had one for about 3 months and it was organised. i was always too poor to afford a desk and it just wasnt a priority when i used my bed

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? go upstairs, lay in bed, read .... words, stay up until my eyes are closing for me. sleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? my parents opinion literally means nothing to me. i wouldn’t care what they do/don’t know. i guess id prefer if they didnt know about the drugs because my mum did them a lot and it led to her being abusive. so they’d be suuuper judgy and probably take them off me and shit. but once im moved out, i dont really care. they wont be able to do much about it

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? i’d love to have a shaved thing. my hair’s already short. but my dad’s homophobic and doesnt want me to get it short. i dont give enough of a shit about it to argue with him so i leave it. but if i could, having a cool shaved thing would be nice

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? i dont think i even have 5 friends, and if i do, we certainly don’t have fun together. i’d just go by myself. i’m lots of fun to be around when it’s just me

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. i wish for a job that has stable income, consistent hours, a kind staff, and is something that i’m not constantly fucking up. - i wish for this because i feel like getting up every day to do something that doesn’t give me panic attacks (that i might even be able to enjoy) is such a dream. and if it gives a stable amount of money and hours, i’d be able to plan things and have a life instead of worrying about them calling me at literally any given moment and asking me to work. which means i’d either have to work or stammer out an excuse on the spot & have the managers be mad at me i wish for a living space that i can afford & is either by myself or with people who aren’t terrible. or with people who can’t fuck me over if they get mad at me. this would step 2 of being happy for me. having a job that doesn’t make me anxious = job that could make me happy. living space that is secure and mine and that no one can take away = reduction of anxiety and security = potentially being happy.  i guess i’d use the 3rd wish on having a car or motorbike. being able to get around without relying on anyone or public transport would be nice. i can go to places whenever it suits me and i’d be independent. i can just decide to go to an art gallery without it having to be a major planning thing or something that would take 2 hours to get to and from. it’d be very liberating 

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. omg! last halloween. i borrowed an old friend’s witch costume. it was this cute corseted dress with a mini skirt & suspenders that attach to stockings. i bought a matching wand and witches hat. i looked super cute

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? i havent done terrible things under the influence hey. i mostly just have fun and keep to myself.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? i dunno man. one million dollars is a lot of money. surely any of my usual morals would fly out the window. murder would become questionable. like it’s $1 million. i guess maybe not murder because if i went to jail then i wouldnt be able to spend the $1m. mass murder of like children and innocent people i probably wouldnt do. even if i got away with it

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? 1 song would be maybe americans - janelle monae. it’s a tune and you can listen to it for any mood really 1 person? i’ve purposefully gotten rid of any person i would want to only see for the rest of my life. not in a murder way, i just cut ties with them

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love. many a time. it’s a really nice thing! not just romantically. but for me, i just suddenly can’t stop thinking about them. like every spare second i have i’m wondering what they’re doing, thinking about our inside jokes, planning what i’ll say next, wondering what to wear to impress them next, planning how i’m going to work this funny story i want to tell them, etc. and i won’t be able to stop smiling whenever they’re around. the worst giveaway for me is when i can feel myself excessively talking to other people about them. and i can’t stop.  it gives me something to think about that makes me happy. something that makes me happy to distract from usually the shitter things.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? i am a girl and i have really really short hair. i rock it. i also rock black nail polish

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? i hate coffee. so i usually order a white hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. i’d trust anyone to order it for me. as long as they didn’t screw up and get me the white chocolate mocha, which has happened a few times 

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? alcohol. music! probbaly music before alcohol. i love music. cigarettes. and my phone