#until they feel safe again

[demigods-posts]

they're filming season two, but i'm thinking about the potential adaption of the mount tam scene in season three. you know, the one where annabeth could apologize for pushing percy out of the way and falling off the cliff in his place, and how she knows that sounds terrible but they didn't have time for another plan and she didn't want to lose him that way. but percy just engulfs her in a hug because he's so relieved that she's safe now and everything else be damned. and annabeth doesn't understand why he's snickering to himself after that last statement, but she melts into the hug anyway because she missed him. and thalia and grover stand in the background happy for their friends on the outside but internally mortified, because their friends are definitely falling for each other but fate may not allow them to see it through.

[pinacoladamatata]

another from the archives🥲 She's a menace <3

[hoofpeet]

kinda literally don't know what to do anymore tho . so much changed in the last 3 days anything I could possibly do here feels pointless & I don't really remember why I was bothering to draw anything

[radioroxx]

i think everyday about. how, as a robot, freddy fazbear would experience emotions differently from people. and how, as a robot, his whole perspective on the three star family situation would be wild. like… you’re programmed to be an entertainer, a dancer, a singer, etc., until suddenly youre not. he probably cant dance without a head- wouldnt have a reason to sing anymore (except maybe to his family. which is VERY cute to imagine). and its just… he’s not really freddy fazbear anymore, is he?

theres also a point to be made about, how robots feel. bc bc ai blah blah i wont go into it, his feelings arent going to be expressed or understood in the same way peoples’ are. theres going to be part of him that doesnt fully understand what its like to be part of their little family, to fully understand why and how he came to care sooo much about these two for taking him in.

i need to organize my freddy thoughts but. oooughhg. do you understand? please please pl

[jacquiarno]

It’s Bisexuality Visibility Month (also Suicide Awareness Month), and the biphobia has been constant and intense, even in our own bi spaces, mostly from fellow LGBTQIA+ people.

Bi women have been told they are tainted for being with men, that we are dirty and dick obsessed. We’ve been told we are perverted fetishists by both cis and trans lesbians, with even gay men joining in on the insults, with one even threatening violence towards bi women if they come near lesbians. We even got told we deserve to be abused, raped, and murdered by our male partners because that’s what we deserve for dating men.

Bi men are being accused again for being HIV carriers, with gay men saying they are only good for sex because they will end up leaving them for women. One trans man said he would kill himself if a man started dating a woman after him, not leave him for one but just start dating again and that person being a woman.

I haven’t seen insults directly about non-binary bisexuals, but I’m sure there would be and a lot of hate lumps us all together. All this hates stings me but I can’t imagine the pain of all this for non-binary, trans women, and trans men dealing with it all, and it makes me so disappointed and angry that fellow trans people in this community are hurting them.

Pride Month a lesbian wrote “I wish god would eradicate all the bisexuals” while another wrote “For Pride Month let all the bi people disappear” with both having thousands of likes and comments agreeing. Now during Bi Visibility Month, a non-binary lesbian with feminist in their profile posted “Happy bi visibility month, I hope they find a cure soon 💖”. While continuing to mock us after.

Our allies and so-called LGBTQIA+ advocates have been silent and have even participated in bierasure, laughing at us when we point it out, saying “It’s not that serious.” “Lol the bis are getting upset over nothing again”. Only the bisexual advocates and pages have spoken out against the hate.

The B in LGBTQIA+ is suppose to be for bisexual but this community says and treats us as awfully as the bigots do to all of us. Bisexual is the sexuality that is attracted to two or more genders, that we have the ability to love anyone regardless of their gender. But we’re treated as greedy, perverted, hyper sexual, unfaithful, which from bigots you understand and usually brush off, but from those within the community who go through similar prejudice and should understand, sharing the same ignorant mindset.

These spaces are suppose to be our safe havens as well, but are just as dangerous. We try making our own spaces and even that is invaded by these people, we are beyond exhausted. We need the other members of the community that aren’t biphobic to speak out more and shut these people and this hate down. Because the lack of empathy from this community is frightening and all this in-fighting will allow the bigots to pick us a part more easily.

[shannonsketches]

lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament

[mitsuki91]

Blaming and hating Coryo for president Snow action is the same fucking thing that marauders stans say when they say that the marauders were justified to bully Severus Snape because he will be a Death Eater later on.

Take your head outside your ass and think about causes and effects.

[hinamie]

hands and knees i am begging . have i passed the test the universe has deigned to give me these past few days. can it be over.

[suhyla]

What are you most grateful for?

Learning how to let out my emotions and describe how I’m feeling to Allah.

[halamshirals]

did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point

[genekies]

tag vent

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[furiousgoldfish]

(personal post, need an opinion on falling out with a friend. tw for description of childhood physical abuse and forced alcohol consumption.)

Recently I found out that the most destructive trauma symptoms I had were due to repressed rage, and I decided to try and work on expressing the rage, mostly via writing since I'm currently not in a shape to do anything physical. I've talked about it to a childhood friend, who is usually very kind, and they offered if I wanted to talk about the trauma, and express my anger to them, I should.

So I spoke about it a little, with not much detail, and the friend started asking me questions like, 'well, why did the abusers do this to you?' which already was annoying, I dislike greatly having to put myself in the abuser's head, because then I lose my own sense of self and have to see myself thru their eyes, which is the worst possible way to see myself. But, I've tried to explain their intentions (control, power, sabotage, keeping me captive and helpless). Then at one point, I talked about an incident where I was pinned down and pressed on the floor, my arms were held still, my head was held upright, one person held my nose closed and another poured strong alcohol down my throat, while I was screaming, shaking and crying. I was terrified and the alcohol hurt my throat. Afterwards I just went into shock and went numb and lost memories of anything that happened afterwards.

And my friend goes 'Well, why did they do that?' and I try to remember and it's like 'well they thought I had some disease and the alcohol was apparently, the cure' and my friend goes 'oh, well they were well-meaning then!'

And I just completely lost my nerve. The words struck me like lightning because that cannot be well meant, pinning a child down while they're crying, terrified and shaking, and forcing something in their throat. I could have been taken to a doctor and healed normally. It wasn't even a cure, they were experimenting and using any kind of excuse to hurt me 'for my own good'. Next time I had any kind of problem I simply didn't say anything to anyone because I understood that if someone found out, I would be tortured.

I told my friend that it 'wasn't well meant' and they 'should have taken me to the doctor', but my friend, insisted that the intention behind the act was good, even if it wasn't 'very pleasant for me', which also, struck me like a minimization of what I went thru. It was not 'unpleasant', it was traumatic. I dissociated and lost memories.

I ended up shutting down the conversation, and I told my friend I need space. My friend continued to send me messages over the next few days asking me to talk to them, but I feel livid and disappointed every time I even think about talking to them. I don't know what to do, I feel almost kind of dumb because this friend always acts like that, it just usually doesn't hurt me that badly. Usually when they go 'well maybe this person who hurt you had good intentions' I can just go 'lol nah' and not linger on it. I shouldn't have spoken about trauma to them - but I was also not in my right mind, affected by inner rage and desperate to talk to someone.

I need a third person view into this situation, because I'm still not in my right mind. I've been trying to write my anger down and figure it out and I ran thru a pen already and filled half a notebook and I got absolutely nowhere except that I feel dreadful.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Thinking about:

The two moments in ep 1 (6:08) and ep 2 (32:37) when Jihyun is seen in the background between Jaewon and Tae Hyung/Eun Ji respectively.

The way Jaewon's taller shadow engulfs Jihyun's smaller shadow as Jaewon walks towards Jihyun on the beach in ep 2.

Yoon Won singing on the beach.

Just how fantastic Yoon Won, Ae Ri, and Jihyun's boss are.

How it looks like Jaewon drew himself and his younger brother and maybe a young Jihyun in the landscape of the Han river in ep 4.

The way Jaewon tugs Jihyun into him after putting the rucksack on Jihyun in ep 4 (7:03).

The tale of the country mouse who ran back home (ep 4)...and me wondering if it's foreshadowing a separation and/or time skip in future eps.

Jihyun keeping Jaewon's art in case he becomes famous...and me wondering if that will come back if there's a time skip/separation at the end.

The fact that the therapist is always in the same top, which might indicate that the therapy scenes are all from the same session...maybe meaning everything else that's happening are flashbacks from the time of the session...which ends in ep 5. There are no scenes of the therapy session in ep 6.

The bust on the shelf in the therapists room, with hands over its eyes...

Jihyun's dream of going to the Hanson Tower with a lover and putting a lock up there...and me hoping he'll do that with Jaewon.

The "traffic won't stop for you" sign behind Jaewon as he gets drunk in ep 5 and talks about siblings. If it turns out his brother died because he ran into the road I will throw fists.

The way Jaewon's little brother is dressed in a light blue t-shirt with something cream over the top in the flashback and then Jihyun is also wearing light blue/grey under a cream jacket in the next scene.

Jaewon's "We are always living in other's frameworks in this world". And "Don't try to get out of the box".

The silence as the credits roll at the end of ep 6.

[piplupod]

also need to keep reminding myself that one outing will not fix my brain, and even one entire month of outings will not fix my brain, i will feel less insane yes but i will still be fucking terrified of messing up social interactions probably my entire life to some degree. but the fear will lessen over time if i keep up regular interactions with ppl who are not my abusers (and hopefully lessen the time i spend around abusers bc they keep seemingly undoing any progress i make 🙃), or at least... i hope that's true LMFAO. one can dream!

[disengaged]

so i left the psych ward against medical advice 💁

they detained me for hours (while classified as a voluntary patient) and when i told them it was illegal a nurse looked me in the face and told me he didn't care about my rights 👍

& then when i got upset about being illegally detained he told me getting emotional is evidence that i am incompetent and if they want they can just keep forming me for it as long as they want 👍

and then they ignored me for two hours and refused to give me my belongings. and also called four (4) giant male security guards to have on standby 👍 even though i have zero history of violence, am 5'5" and weigh (not much) and previously disclosed to them many, many times that i have a history of ptsd, part of which is specifically hospital trauma 👍

and then they locked me in a room and searched all of my belongings to find a reason to form me 👍

like i'm gonna throw up thinking about it. (also they still have my wallet with all my IDs and credit cards.)

anyways i got the fuck out. and it was like 12:30am but my friend picked me up and i had a fucking panic-oh-fuck-oh-shit-meltdown in his car . but i went and took a shower and then he drove me to another hospital

and they formed me too except it's way nicer here and the staff are so nice. & the unit is way bigger and quieter . and they actually listened to me and referred me to a rheumatologist (after ...... 6-7 years of begging various doctors to be taken seriously)

and i have hope for the first time in a long time! & i'm getting discharged tomorrow :)