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lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years

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Comparing RWBY and YGO DM: The Handling and Evolution of Themes

Hey! Its been a hot minute since I last posted anything RWBY-related but Im laying in my bed right now and Im sick and bored so I guess we're doing this. Today I will do my best to analyze what I percieve to be the main themes and messages of both of these shows, or more specifically, how theyre handled narratively. Im mostly focusing on that part because, while these series do have similar themes and messaging, they are still a few things in which they are wildly different. And with that, lets start with this essay-post-thing!

1. Theres something we need to adress first

Okay so, before we can really talk about this, theres something I feel the need to clarify here: Neither of these stories was "planned from the beginning".

Now, I dont think a story being planned from the beginning or not nesscessarily makes the story any better or worse by default, however, it is still important to acknowledge because the way the story is planned is going to affect every facet of it. Things are not going to be foreshadowed properly, things are gonna be set up only for nothing to come of it, the story might drastically change directions, characters might act differently, etc, etc.

And, this is bit off-topic but, it's much better to just admit that the story was not planned than trying to pretend that it was. Like, there are a lot of reasons why I tend to be so forgiving towards YGO even though its not very good, but one of them is definitely the fact that, as far as Im aware atleast, the guy who wrote it isnt pretending to have had this big master plan all along and neither is the fandom. With RWBY on the other hand... yeaaaah, its kinda the opposite. From what Ive seen of RWBYs fandom, there seems to be this pretty popular narrative that everything was planned even though it clearly wasnt. Thats pretty bad and honestly lowers my opinion of the writers so much more than if they would just admit to not having a proper plan.

Like, I initially consumed YGO like this: Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters, Yu-Gi-Oh (aka Season 0), like, a quarter of the Yu-Gi-Oh manga (I still havent finished it)

In all three of these we have the character of Yami Yuugi, or just Yami. Broadly speaking, he is an ancient egyptian gamer spirit who lives in a magical puzzle that has not been solved for 3000 years until this highschooler named Yuugi Mutou comes along and solves it, thus setting him free and allowing him to possess Yuugi and have access to the vague magical powers of the puzzle.

In Duel Monsters he's perfectly fine most of time, morally speaking. There is an instance of him almost murdering a guy and its a bit unclear what exactly happens to those he mindcrushes but overall he's very much a pretty good guy. In Season 0 most of what he does is set up these games for bad people, where they will go insane no matter what they do. From how I understand this whole Shadow Game, Penalty Game stuff, if you lose a Shadow Game, you get violent and intense hallucinations and you will always cuz yknow, gamer spirit. But if you try to cheat, which most of the bad people do in this show, you get violent and intense hallucinations as a punishment.

Since the two anime are generally considered two different continuities, its perfectly fine that Yamis characterization is wildly different in both of them. But in the manga both of these characterizations appear, basically one after the other with no real arc or consequences, for that matter. Why is that? Simply put, someone thought it was a good idea to try to turn an episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror manga into a more traditional, more plot-driven battle shounen. From what Ive heard, it was apparently largely because of network interference or something, but the point is, it changed directions incredibly drastically with little planning and everyone knows this and I can understand that for the most part.

In RWBY we have the character of Blake Belladonna, who, in the first 3 volumes/seasons atleast, was this aloof, more toned down loner-type character with a pretty strong sense of justice. She's an in-universe marginilized racial minority and she clearly cares about racial injustice. The way its initially framed makes it seem like she had a very hard life and no stable support system, which is what eventually pushed her to join a Civil Rights group/Terrorist organization (good god, the Faunus subplot is so awful, I could write a whole essay about it but Im already de-railing rn so I'll just save that for later).

Then, in volumes 4-5 it turns out her father is actually like, the mayor or chief of this island-place called Menagerie and she grew up in this big mansion with multiple guards/servants. Oh and also, apparently "space is a commodity" on there, so theres that. She still retains large parts of her personality but she's kinda like, worse somehow I think. I cant really describe it in a meaningful way but I hope you get what Im saying anyway. Then in Volume 6 she confronted her emotional abuser Adam (sorry for not mentioning him sooner but yeah, he was like, her abusive boyfriend, which is something that a lot of people disagree with but I wont really say anything about it either way because I dont really feel any specific way) with her friend, Yang, and ended up killing him.

After all that, she pretty much lost the rest of her personality, as well as her arc about all the Faunus stuff. She just kinda became the meek, generically nice, recovering abuse victim. Why? Well, the actual reason is that they didnt plan out shit and are just kinda flying by the seat of their oversized clown-pants and if they and the fandom just admitted it, I would have less of an issue. I still wouldnt be as forgiving towards RWBY as I am towards YGO because the crux of the issue, for me, is just that I dont particulary like RWBY but also like. Do you really expect me to take MKEK seriously as writers after admitting to not have a timeline because iT wOuLd CaUsE pLoThOlEs?

However, since they want us to believe that everything was planned out from the beginning, the explaination would be.... Idk, they deliberately butchered one of their main characters?? Because.. they hate her?? Maybe????

So yeah, that was quite a detour however, I would like you to keep this mind going forward.

2. Themes of the Early Series'

First, what do mean by 'Early Series' for both of these shows respectively? Well, for YGO that would have to be Season 0 or if youre reading the manga, everything pre-Duelist Kingdom. Basically, the part of the series thats a episodic, very slice of life-y light-horror series.

For RWBY that would be the first three Volumes, also known as the Poser-Era. Back then it was just kinda an action series that took place at Anime Warrior Academy (also known as Beacon) with some pretty bare minimum worldbuilding, character-driven plots and developments but now its more of an epic high-fantasy story with more of an emphasis on plot as opposed to just action.

The themes and messages in Early YGO are kinda vague, very confusing to me and if you were to follow any of it literally that would be pretty bad. For now Im just gonna say the main themes are Friendship and Identity and mostly focus on the Identity aspect.

Now, it took me a little while to figure out RWBYs deal but I think the main themes for Volumes 1-3 are also Friendship and Heroism. Once again, I'll mostly focus on Heroism and touch on Friendship more briefly later.

I dont have much more to add to YGOs themes right now, so I'll briefly go over Heroism in RWBY.

In RWBYs setting there are these man-eating monsters called Grimm that have basically infected the planet. In order to deal with that, they have people called huntsmen and huntresses that kill them and protect people. Theyre trained at special academies like Beacon and go on missions there and stuff like that. Our four main characters, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang, are training to become huntresses and one day they go on this mission to clean up a grimm infested city block with one of their teachers. Obviously, that takes a long time so they have to camp out in one of the empty houses. Weiss, Blake and Yang cant sleep because theyve been thinking about this question that their teacher asked them when they were fighting grimm: "Why do you want to become a huntress?"

They have a heart to heart and we find out about their motivations; Weiss wants to bring honour back to her family, Blake want to distance herself from the White Fang (that terrorist organization I mentioned earlier) and as an extension from Adam, Yang wants to have a life of adventure. They also talk about why Ruby wants to be a huntress and it turns out that she judt wants to help people. Unlike the others, she has no motivation besides that. We're meant to listen to that and look at her as a sort-of personification of Heroism: kind, but not naive, strong and most of all, selfless. The others on her team are not portayed as bad for not being like Ruby by any means but we are clearly meant to admire her the most out of all of them.

Okay, now comes the part Ive been looking forward to the most:

3. How did these themes evolve in the Modern Series'?

Alright, before we can really delve into the way they evolved in YGO I'll have to give you a brief summary of the character progression. At the start of DM, during the Duelist Kingdom arc, Yami Yuugi is just that; A darker Yuugi. Hes more confident, bolder, his voice is deeper, hes somehow taller, more ruthless, all that good stuff. Notably, he doesnt actually seem more skilled than Yuugi even at the start of this story, but he's still dependent on Yami. Yami on the other hand, has no identity of his own or even hints at one at this point. He's just The Other Yuugi.

Then during the Battle City arc, they find out that Yami was actually a pharao prior to being sealed in the puzzle, he just didnt know because of amnesia, I guess. So now they need to find out his real name and then send him to the afterlife because hes meant to be dead, but not before saving the world from being swallowed by darkness, which is also a thing they have to do now.

Then we finally get to the Memory World arc, where Yami, Yuugi and the rest of the gang astralproject to ancient egypt via puzzle magic. Yami is trying to figure out what the hell is going on and who all these familiar people are, while Yuugi & Co are trying their best to help him. Then some weird shit happens and it turns out that all of that is not just Yamis sealed away memories, but also a giant D&D Shadow Game that will destroy the world if Yami loses. So now theres Pharao!Yami who is still clueless on the metaphorical and literal playing field and Player!Yami, who is kinda controlling himself now? I guess?? Yamis opponent, The Spirit of The Ring, has something similar to that going on where hes both controlling and properly participating in the game. So Player!Yami is now fighting against Player!TSoTR, Pharao!Yami is now fighting against Thief King Bakura (who is like, the human, ancient egyptian version of the Ring Spirit) and Yuugi is now fighting against Yami Bakura (who is like, the human, modern japanese version of the Ring Spirit). Yuugi gets Yamis real name, he and the gang go over to Pharao!Yami and tell him his name, meanwhile Player!Yami is also somehow helping as well and they defeat the Ring Spirit, thus saving the world. Then they travel to modern Egypt, the Ceremonial Duel happens and Yuugi wins, sending Yami to the Afterlife where he can finally rest and that was the series!

I originally wanted to recount the stuff that was going on with the Ring Spirit and his host as well because they parallel eachother, but this summary is already far too long and I think youll get the point without me needing to explain any more.

My point here is, that the story went from being vaguely about Identity, maybe? to being very clearly about Self-Discovery and Learning to Be Independent. I think this is a very good way to evolve the messaging of your story. How does RWBY track on that?

Well, uh... its not great. I will acknowledge that they have tried to introduce new themes and ideas since, even though I wont really be talking about them in this post. But yeah, the whole Heroism thing really regressed.

Like, I didnt explicitly say it when I was explaining grimm earlier, but theyre not going away. The grimm have always been there and people who sign up to become huntsmen and huntresses are effectively signing up for a job that will never truly be done, no matter what they do. Characters like Ruby and even more minor ones like Phyrrah have shown us that that doesnt matter when youre a hero. No life isnt worth saving, no grimm isnt worth killing, no criminal isnt worth arresting. Then, in volume 6 they find out about Salem. Salem is the Big Bad of the show, shes immortal, controls the grimm and is supposed to be very powerful.

What do our heroes do? They give up. Sike! They were just mindcontrolled by monsters or some shit, of course they didnt give up their mission (which is to bring an Important Macguffin to a city called Atlas, sorry I didnt mention it)!

But then they arrive in Atlas (which is llike, a city thats floating over another city called Mantle) and yknow, they do some plot stuff thats not really important right now until the city gets invaded by Salem and this big grimm army she has.

What do our heroes do? Well, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and some side characters are chilling, drinking tea in a mansion and Yang and the B Team were actually trying to do something, but even those efforts seem incredibly minimal.

Oh wait, I also forgot to mention that Ironwood (a fairly minor, vaguely antagonistic character up until now) wanted to lift Atlas even higher to save Atleasian civilians from danger while leaving Mantle vulnerable to Salems invasion.

What would be the most heroic thing to do?

A) Let Ironwood lift Atlas, get as much support as they can down to Mantle and save as many Mantle civilians as they can from the invasion

B) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas but then split up in order to protect both Atlas and Mantle civilians

C) Prevent Ironwood from lifting Atlas and then dont do anything else

Congrats! If you choose C, you think exactly like the writers!

And I just

This is so mindboggling to me, I feel like I shouldnt even have explain how this is bad. And like, it wouldve been so easy to actually make them seem herokc through their actions, to make it seem like they did try but no.

I have never seen a central theme be this botched, how in the world did they do that? Why did they think it was a good idea for Ruby "The Embodiment of Heroism" Rose to sit in a mansion doing nothing, no planning, no organizing just ..... God, how are they this bad? Like, this doesnt even have anything to do with it being planned in any way, this is just straight up incompetence

4. Very briefly touching on friendship

The friendship is awful and its not solely because they all have the same opinions. They barely interact with eachother outside their designated pairs which leads to it all feeling incredibly hollow. Theyre also practically indistingushable from one another now, which is a shame because it wasnt always like that. Like, I dont think the characters were that well-developed in earlier volumes but they were very well-characterized. But now we've gotten to a point where you can literally copy and paste one characters dialogue onto another and literally nothing changes, it really sucks.

5. Some closing words

Damn, this took way longer than I thought it would and now Im pretty exhausted. I have no idea how yall always write these but props to you! I feel like this ended up a bit rambly but overall, Im pretty proud.

Please let me know what you think of the points I brought up! Id also really appreciate some tips on how to get better at these longer posts because I am planning on writing more in the future (not the near future, probably but yknow).

Thats all I have to say for now, thanks for reading!

#rwde #rwby critism #anti mkek #yu gi oh #ygo duel monsters #yu gi oh analasis

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misterbitches · 3 years

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Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

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silverandarsenic-hcs · 4 years

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youve done vampire s/o, how about papa 1,2,&3 and the cardinal as vampires with a human s/o!

Ohhh this is so fun! Sorry this took so long topolino!!

(friendly reminder our ask box is closed and if you send in anything new its going on the bottom of the pile im sorry its just not fair to people who have been waiting MONTHS)

Papa I: he’s the very old, very tired type of vampire. he doesn’t have the time for the silly games of catch and release that the younger ones do, never mind his brothers, and he never did. If he was going to drink from someone he would do it, without all the glamour and fuss the others had become addicted to. he merely wanted to live his existence in peace without fear of being found. When he finally told his s/o, he sat them down, and explained the basics to them. When they told him they had already figured most of it out, he was shocked. hed been so careful about making it a secret, and going out of his way to shield them from what he truly was until he could tell them - not for his own safety, but for theirs. if he was going to tell them, it could change their life. he didn’t want it to negatively affect them, and it didn’t. the only thing that changed was a few more vampire jokes here and there, and a lot more honesty.

Papa II: when you think of a vampire, living in a castle, drinking the blood of virgins, relentlessly killing and killing again, you get Papa II. He has always said virgins taste the best, and he means it. While he isn’t exactly open about it and flaunting it, it’s not hard to see. in fact, his s/o was originally someone he was planning to drink dry and throw away. only he couldn’t bring himself to do it. there was something special, and different about him. so his s/o has known all along about his true identity, but fell in love with him anyways. bit of a beauty and the beast stockholm syndrome here, but he thinks it’s better that their relationship and love be built on honesty, rather than having to tear them down later and reveal everything has been a lie - or at least most things. it took II a very long time to come to terms with who he was, and even longer for him to accept that his s/o loves him for it.

Papa III: Now, what you’ve all been waiting for, III is the type of vampire who hosts masked parties, constantly surrounded by beautiful people who know who he is and cannot wait even a second longer for him to sink his teeth into them. everyone knows what he is, whether they believe it or not, the youngest emeritus says, is completely up to them. he’s cocky, and arrogant, and even obnoxious sometimes. his s/o was in fact one of the man half naked men and women who begged him to take a bite, but he saw something else in them. he couldn’t have brought himself to drink even a single drop from them if he wanted to. no. they’re different. they shouldn’t be offering themselves up to someone like him. he brings them away and tells them never to return, so he wouldn’t hurt them ever, but they just wont listen. each time they come back theyre more desperate to see what he really is. for him to drink from their neck. when he finally does, the bond has been created. from then on, they’re the only person III can focus on. its them forever.

Cardinal Copia: Ghost Twitter has been NUTS for Dracopia lately and i dont understand it and i will never do that cape justice, but this is what you get. Copia is the most unsuspecting vampire of them all. he leads a quiet life in the clergy, drinks blood from animals instead of humans, although it doesn’t quite have the same affect, and keeps to himself. he’s the one who has never come to terms with what he is. accept that his eternity is to be spent as a blood sucking monster of a man. no, not a man. just a monster. His s/o finds him at the worst and hardest time in his life. he’s so destroyed, and broken, and is beginning to wonder really what the point of feeding even is when he could simply starve himself away from blood. sure, he wouldn’t last very long, but those final days when there is no more consumed blood left in his body, maybe then he would feel pure. his s/o catches him in the act, a soft white rabbit between his teeth, blood dripping down his chin and chest. at first of course they’re afraid, but after he explains to them, a stranger, what’s happening, they begin to understand. his s/o helps him accept that he’s not a monster, just a creature. they show him that there really is things worth living for in this world, and that what he is and eats does not define him

- Judith

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voidselfshipp · 4 years

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Sirens song

The woodlands were tiredsome,they really were, every now and then something lightened it up,but every day was the damn same.

Specially for bigby.

But a since last week,every afternoon,after five Pm he would hear this soft melodie,and Someone,who sounded like a girl would sing.

It would lure him to sleep,sometimes he did,sometimes he didnt,but when he managed to ,his dreams wouldnt be nightmares,they would be filled with joy,often times he forgets them , and when he remembered them,they would loose its string And make no sense a couple of hours later.

This afternoon however,was different,the sheriff wasnt in his appartment,he was going to the bussines Office when he heard her.

" Oh little sunflower,rest your petals,the sun is gone,and your time to sleep has come

Oh little sunflower lay your head to rest,for tomorrow awaits."

To this point,he knew the song by far.

He slowly crept up the stairs , appartment 149.

" Dream of clouds and spirits,they'll guide you to tomorrow.

Lay down little sunflower no time for sorrow.

Dream of plenty and love,remember home is never gone,mother is waiting and father is watching,the sun Will greet you with its shining.

Lay down little sunflower rest and tomorrow watch the sun until its time to wake."

He opened the door softly,as the song started again, he walks down the corridor,yes he should have had knocked but it would disturb that soothing melody

He peeks over a wall,looking at the resident of the house lean on their balcony's handrail.

-if I knew you'd like my singing so much I would have made a song for you specially bigby

She turns around.

No,she cant be...

Jerico!

The wolf goes and hugs her tightly.

--Holy shit,jerico,how are you still alive?!

The other fable laughs and puts her hands on her hips,her usual stance,as the wolf remembered correctly.

--Its a long story, but if youre not in a rush youre more than welcome to stay here for as long as you'd like

--Sorry sweetheart but I gotta go with Snow

Jeri lets a grumble out.

--I know you dont like her

--damn princesses, all they do is sit soundly on their glass coffins and there goes their prince charming to the rescue, ill brew some coffee

Yeah,dragons and princes dont mix well...

Bigby sighs and takes a look at her.

_its been so long since they last seen eachother_

--i guess,it can wait c'mon

He sits with her on the livingroom,she sips from her tea,silent.

--I never got why you hated snow so much,ever since we were in the woodlands,I know princesses and dragons dont mix,But this is ridiculous

The dragon Slams the cup on the coffee table and looks at the wolf with a piercing stare.

--You wanna know what my damn problem with snow is? You wanna know?, then ill fucking tell you!-She stands up with tears forming in the corner of her emerald eyes--You have a crush on her!thats the problem,you Like her-she bits her lip with a shaky breath- I have been harboring feelings for you since the old times, when you would swing by my cave to hear me sing,then snow comes in and i-- ....

Jerico walks over her balcony,leaning on the handrails and covering her face with her hands,clawy fingers gripped her luscius brown hair-- I love you too much bigby,thats the damn problem...

Bigby sighs with a heavy chest,leaving the coffee on the table,and walking over her,putting a hand on her Lower back.

--Do you remember the song you made for me?

--The northen wolf ,yeah...why?

--jerico,I have been singing that lullaby for years,your singing could never be forgotten by those that loved you,thats why we met remember?I couldnt get that song out of my brain and I would beg you to sing it...,look what im trying to say is...I love you,whatever Is up with me and snow its nothing compared to us,all these years you have been off the radar and i-- I feared the worst..im so sorry

Jeri looks at him,still red from the anger and crying,she takes his hands putting them to her chest.

--There sweetheart,breathe, there you go

The dragon sighs finally recomposing,the wolf looks away in shame.

-- " Oh hide di ho,hide from the northen wolf..."

Bigby looks up to meet her warm gaze.

--" Hide from him and his fatal blow"

He continued.

--" He who comes from the northen wind and the pale she-wolf, youngest of Seven and deadliest of them all"

The Man snorts as jeri kept singing " Oh the big bad wolf,hes here to kill the herd and leave your lord_

pray to who you May,no god can save you now"

-- " For he is not alone" -bigby sang with her,jeri gasps, he does know the whole song-- " for he brings along the southern echo of the caves,the Beauty in the beast,and her song wont leave you be"

Both join,pressing their foreheads togheter.

" oh hide di ho,hide from the winding echoes in the halls, oh hide thee from the wolf and the dragon of the nightgale in the storm

Oh hide and tremble for them bring the sambles of the life as you know

oh hide thee from,the Wonders of the dragon and the wolf,for there is no magic as powerful as their love "

They look into eachothers eyes.

--You remember....

--of course I do,your singing is not known for it to not be catchy...

Jerico chuckles and leans down to kiss him,hugging his neck as his arms eneveloped her waist.

--See?,we are bound togheter--The sheriff says hiding his face on the crook of her neck-- As we did before

--So we do now

--Exactly

Both stay togheter as the storm that came as jerico cried clears.

--Do you mind telling your fable again dear?

Both laid on the bed,a thunderous storm hit the Bronx as both lovers had finally reunited.

-Sure...get Comfy,Its a long one

The wolf huddles closer and leaves a peck on her lips.

"A long time ago,when the Winds could only sing, a young dragon Cub sat on the edge of a cliff.

-Oh dear mother sun- the cub cried- I want to sing like the humans do, I want to feel the music in my soul and dance free,meet the love of my life,one that can see through the scales on my back

'Is that what you wish for my child?' The sun asked, the dragon nodded ' Then so be it, you Will sing like a siren,and those who hear it Will be enchanted,but only those who fall in love with you Will Keep your Song on their soul for ever

And so,it happened,during Many Centuries,the dragon sang, men Fell to her feet but as soon as the saw who she was they fled.

It made her poor heart break,until one night, a wolf Walked to the cave, to stalk something to eat,but instead he found the dragon singing in her pool of riches,and most importantly food.

Though it did matter not to the wolf,who had Fallen for the creature before him.

So each day,before sunset, the dragon would sing,and her loyal fan,the wolf,would listen.

Until one day, the dragon noticed the wolf.

--You are not afraid of how I look?

The creature asked.

--Of course not,your beauty matches your ability my dear .."

-I dont remember saying it quite like that...

--Shut it and let me continue

"The dragon felt flattered,and every day before sunset they would meet and hear her beautiful singing.

Ocassionally the wolf would bring trinkets to her,and finally the tedious courting payed off.

As both united in one,they swore to lay on the humans and other fables all the hurt that they made to them.

And so they became known as 'the northern wolf and the windious echoe'.

They swore to be togheter until the end,if they would ever be separated,upon their meeting a thunderous storm would hit the world,as a reminder of them and What they become"

Bigby looks out the Window and sighs-- Yep,theres the storm...

--well its not my fault you were so handsome back then

--Back then?, and what about me now huh?

--Make love to me and maybe ill change my mind~

--I forgot you have no filter...

--And I forgot how easily flustered you get,now come on northen wolf,make my moans echo in the wind~

The storm pounded outside,it drowned the noise in the house,but finally both reunited,and it was going to be a long while before they did part.

#f/o community #f/o #romantic f/o #f/o x s/i #my f/os #self shipping #self insert #self ship #f/os #f/o tag #f/o fic #bigby #bigby wolf(the wolf among us)#bigby wolf

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absolutiions · 4 years

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´ ･ . ✶ ⧼ madchen amick, non binary, she & they / fucked my way to the top by lana del rey + eyes the color crimson and hands stained in crimson, too. victim of the underworld, you are not. you came, not to sit silent at his side as dutiful wives do, but to whisper in his ear. pouted lips smeared ruby stoke the flames of his darkest impulses and his deepest desires. you are the conqueror. you are the queen. and may god have mercy upon anyone who underestimates this : because you will not. ⧽ ━━ don’t look now, but that’s ATHENODORA. the TWO THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED & TWENTY TWO ( varying physical ) year old GIFTED VAMPIRE has been here in seattle for three minutes, and is considered a member of the VOLTURI. they’ve always been MACHIAVELLIAN & INDOMITABLE, but i guess this town just brings out the worst in people ; apparently, they’ve been way more INSOUCIANT & SUPERCILIOUS than usual. it wouldn’t surprise me if they knew what was going on. click HERE to check out her stats.

they told you that you were a nobody, so you became the QUEEN. ( now everybody knows your name )

SECTION ONE OF THREE : background / human era. trigger warnings for talk of pregnancy, death, abuse

born circa 502 bc, in a little village that has no lasting name nor impact in ancient greece.

five of the children born to her parents survived to adulthood, and since she was the last one... it is almost like, her whole life, she has been suffering from younger child syndrome. who knew !

she very literally grew up in a diff time, so when i say she wasn’t rly close to any of her siblings, i don’t mean it in a like... horrible way. it’s not a reflection of character. they just didn’t have a tight sibling bond, though she loved them greatly.

same w her parents. they were unexceptional people who lived unexceptional lives, and though she was grateful for, u know... their creation of her - they were not close. they did not, in laymans terms, have the lorelai and rory gilmore dynamic.

her whole family were content to live their dismal lives, and... tho athenodora did not vibe, she, again - grew up in a diff time. of course she dreamt of more. of course she prayed to the gods for something better. but she was achingly aware of the fact that no such future would ever exist for her. such is life in 400 whatever bc, bumfuck, greece.

she was just barely eighteen when she was married to athanasios, to secure land, or smth, because those were the times. of course it was something like that.

he was... fine, at first. a little small minded ( that wasn’t the ONLY thing that was small, haha ). he, like everyone, was content to live the same old life, and athenodora just... wasn’t. she had been raised on stories of grandeur, and her parents had thought she would settle for the regular - it should not have been a surprise that she didn’t want to, but gods, did she try.

she never loved him, she can safely say ; but she wished that she did. for a long while, athenodora thought it would be easier, and thought that she could do a lot worse. unfortunately... she cld not.

their lives were meant to follow a certain pattern. they had gotten married, and now he would work all day, make them money, tend their land. she would stay home. cook. clean. raise the children that they were sure to have. athenodora was capable of almost everything expected of her, except for the most important part - she couldn’t seem to give him children. not strong sons. not beautiful daughters.

at first, he told her that it was fine.

after a year or so, he still told her that it was fine, but she could see in his eyes that it wasn’t.

two years after this, he called her the ancient greek version of defective for the very first time - and things only got worse from there.

he had always been a perfectly fine husband, until he was not, and athenodora had always wanted to love him, until she did not. she prayed to the gods every morning and night, to give her what her husband so desired. to give her that which would make her life better, even if she knew it would not heal the wounds already caused.

sometimes the gods r not dicks. a miracle! she becomes pregnant, aged twenty four ( i kno it sounded like she was a crone but again please remember the times ). she always thought it was just what was best n only athanasios would care, but , wow... suddenly. she cares. she has never felt this level of love with anything, until now.

but, tragedy :// straight white men ( idk, i just feel like her husband was the root of all evil ) are not so easily satisfied. who wld have guessed he wld continue to be an abusive asshole even after his wife succeeded in getting pregnant? i bet i shocked u all. who wld have guessed that a huge part of his problem wld end up being that suddenly, athenodora clearly cares abt something - and it isn’t him. again. got you all!

over the course of her pregnancy, he becomes, for the first time, a real threat to her - or maybe, athenodora simply never took him seriously until there is another person to think of. either way, she TRULY fears him and what he’s capable of by the time she gives birth, and after he makes some passing remark abt their baby, she yeets the FUCK out of there in the middle of the night, eirene ( baby ) only a handful of days old. she takes what she can carry and nothing more, and she... makes it pretty far, thanks to the kindness of strangers. you love to see it.

she settles somewhere ( she considers to be ) far away, and she makes up a good story : her husband died in a war ( there were probably a lot of time, i dont know ) and she was widowed, left to care for their young daughter alone. i know. its really original. they didnt have tv shows back then to rip stories from though.

stays in a hovel on the edge of their village. think the shittiest home you’ve ever seen and then make it shittier. there are rumors about her being a witch, and she kind of appreciates them, because it keeps kids out of her yard. and shock of all shock : in spite of being... u know. a woman. and not very skilled. she finds a very hot ticket job - working for the very wealthy volturi family who live on the other ( opposite ) outside of town, but like, in a considerably better home, obviously.

honestly, i don’t kno what the ancient greek equivalent of that secretary in new moon is, but that’s the vibe we’re going for, here. she’s like, a chambermaid or smth. and she makes a tidy little sum. doesn’t question her weirdo bosses that much. doesn’t know what anemia is because im p sure it wasnt discovered by then, but presumes they have it.

and maybe, just maybe, it’s the finesse of the century : or maybe, just maybe, it is destiny. in no time at all, she has caught the eye of the volturi’s most eligible bachelor(tm) : caius volturi. many another worker is made upset by this fact, as athenodora is very quickly alotted VERY special treatment as the apple of his eye, which includes, i don’t know... hand delivered baskets of pomegranates, a nicer home and in due time, the simple pleasures of the flesh.

so that’s pretty neat. and life’s pretty fine. she feels like an ancient greek sugar baby, and honestly, isn’t that all she’s ever deserved? she’s got some nice digs ( i don’t think she’d have called them that ) and a man who worships the ground she walks on and who spoils her with pretty things, and most importantly : she is taking care of her daughter, who i absolutely didn’t forget about. eirene is the literal light of athenodora’s life, and everybody knows it. if i say jean valjean and cosette vibes, can we all pretend we get it?

and then it goes to shit. as things do.

her daughter is fourteen years old, when her father finds them ; and she doesn’t know, she never knows, if he was seeking them out or whether it was all DUMB luck. regardless of it all, he is stood inside her home, his breath coming in angry half pants, and athenodora is convinced that this is it. that her end has come. that her freedom is over. she dies, she thinks, or she returns back to the house that was not her home with him. these are her options.

she tells her daughter to leave. she stops him from following. when she is shoved and her head hits the table, she is aware of the option he has chosen for them more than all else - but the gods, or perhaps, just one - intervenes.

until this night, athenodora had never known the truth of the volturi. but when her beloved saves her from athanasios, she sees him for what he is. she UNDERSTANDS. and she isn’t frightened. she should be, for sure, she should be running as fast as she can - but all she can think in that moment is that she is free now in all the ways she has never been... and caius, her love, is something so much larger than this life.

for the first time, the godhood that athenodora has always dreamt of is within her grasp. she makes him promise that once eirene comes of age, he will make her into the same creature that he IS. she makes him swear a solemn oath, and he who has been so infatuated by her for so long cannot argue.

four years. this is all it takes, and then eirene is eighteen - capable of standing upon her own two feet. athenodora leaves her everything - all the gifts she has ever been given, all the wealth accumulated, the home. everything she will not need, once she is gone. and she says a final goodbye.

caius turns her himself. the greatest gift he could ever give her.

and reborn, athenodora is MORE than everyone in her life could ever dream of being. she is the queen of the underworld, the goddess of death. she is all of this, and more. at his side, she finds GREATNESS. and once she had it, athenodora decided she would never again be without.

SECTION TWO OF THREE : volturi era.

became cool. became powerful. very emma frost of her, rly

didnt rly care for the rest of the coven outside of caius but sometimes u gotta hang w scrubs

didyme dies sometime after her turning, and that kind of fucks everybody up

not so much her bc like i said she didnt rly care but... caius b frightened of losing her, i guess

kind of throws a spanner in the works

she spends a lot of time ‘locked away’. not , like, literally ( bc that’s gross! ) but... caius takes over protective to the extreme

uses this time to harness her power and fuck

not always in that order

also spends a lot of time telling him he deserves to b leader

deserves to b the new aro

who needs powers?

not u, caius

go kick their ass baby i got ur flower-

( he doesn’t go kick their ass but man she wishes he wld )

she’s genuinely devoted to him, however, as much as it sometimes seems as if she’s using him as a means to an end

she DOES do that with a LOT of people, but caius... that’s her baby! her darling! her sweetie pie! fuck everybody else in this house caius, she respects YOU !

she jus wants to see him be the best there ever was, and he’s.... p... happy to giv her everything she wants, so their dynamic is actually p equal

we love to see it

anyway lots of years happened and now she’s here

seattle sucks -athenodora’s official review

but she’s fucking SICK of aro’s shit and thinks her 2020 birthday wld be the best time for an official change of pace

obviously aro can read minds so he knows athenodora has high aspirations but he has learned his fucking lesson w killing ppls mates, i guess

lucky for her!

that’s all i got

hehe

SECTION THREE OF THREE : power.

athenodora is an ungifted vampire in twilight canon, but to that i say : fuck ya chicken strips. in equinox, she be special. her power is life force manipulation, in a pretty unique ( and dare i say ) way.

she was a forty two year old woman, when she was turned. she had lived a life, and she had the MARKS to show for it. but the very first time that she drank human blood from the vein, athenodora realized that she was not as unexceptional as she had always been lead to believe she was. vampires do not change. they’re frozen in time, like statues, portraits, photographs... and yet, before caius’ very eyes - athenodora did what no other vampire could. mere seconds passed, and suddenly ; she was stood before her beloved, decades younger. it lasted as long as her thirst was sated, with her age returning to her as her eyes darkened once more. and it happened all over again, when next she fed.

over time, she’s come to understand it well enough. she has a particular love of younger humans ; those in their twenties, and thus, physical primes. she thinks that is, in part, down to her gift ; she seeks these out to drink from because when she feeds, she’s not simply drinking their blood, but also, their life force. she’s taking theirs to add to her own.

like many gifted vampires, she has spent time learning what she can of her gift, and learning whether there is some other way to apply it. it took almost two thousand years, but eventually - athenodora discovered that with a touch, her fingertips to their skin ( and a great deal of focus ), she could render another changed, also. it lasts for only a short amount of time - an hour, maybe a little longer, depending on how strong she is. but it works. and it makes her think that, in all her unlimited time : she might just be able to do even more. be a danger. manipulate life force in a way that can DESTROY. she’ll keep on working on that for as long as she lives.

#equinox.intro #ath #( 𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐀 ) ━━━ * biography !

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batdaddies · 5 years

Text

Madreperola

warnings: explicit content, violence

pairing: orm x reader

about: im rusty, been AGES since my last time writing, tried to post this into orm tag for three times now, hope now works, after you are done and still want more, leave a prompt at my askbox, i need some more orm around, patrick wilson killed and now i should write kinky smuts about the ex-king of atlantis, this is not that kinky yet, kinda wanted, kinda dont, whatever, the whole Y/N looks funny because I made it into a scenario in an extra page on my tumblr that you can actually insert your name into it, but it wasnt working so yeah, i just wanted to post it so i can write another one. You are not a surface dweller, you are a badass atlantis warrior, a lot of canon made by myself, sorry. Enjoy!

MADREPÉROLA - MOTHER OF PEARLS

Orm is made out of duties, ideas, strength, pain and pieces of a man who once thought he could die alone.

EYES

They were cheering, loud within the dense water, they had music, excited with drums and bubbles around the instruments. Atlantis was painted of those sparkling jellyfishes all around, all the citizens with hands up, waving. Happiness was a strange feeling, how deeply it was, he had been going around for some minutes now, and everytime his eyes flashed around the faces of his people, the smiles were pure, how could they not notice the way his father’s hand on his mother was a little too hard? Were they not seeing through, was it too dark? How could they not see their smiles didn’t match their eyes?

He could sense on his skin, the hair on his arms, right under his royal armour, his hands holding the ropes with a tiny shake. The image of his mother yelling, back and forth with his father had been disturbing; he could hear from the corridor, a strong impulse and he was by the door, opening just to see her beautiful form on the floor, the silver trident on her hands, pointing into his father’s neck, who had his own trident against her belly. They all shared a quiet stare between, his mother soon being the first to give up, she had called his name, throwing the trident behind her, a sign of peace for the time, she didn’t try to explain anything, instead her long arms circulated his torso with care, love. But he was stuck with the situation, with his parents obviously fighting, hard, to the point of fists. His father spoke first.

“Tell him, Atlanta,” the voice husky, dark, capable of investing fear in any being under the seas. The wrinkles on his eyes showed the age, showed the tiredness, the madness, and the hard pupils, they were black unlike his own, his traces only from his mother. A trembling hand came for his mother's back, holding her to protect her, to protect both, specially himself from that tone. “Tell him about your time in the surface…”

His mother pulled him out of the room in that same minute, feet pushing the water, mouth rushing his concerns, not that she actually could, however she tried, whispered what she normally did. Don’t listen to your father. You know he is out of his mind. I love you so much. A help with his hair, a kiss on his head, and they were separated for the parade. He watched his father soon joining him with the soldiers behind, the tridents on hands, watched how he whispered something into her ear before impulsing her trident to her hand so she could have, they all sat down on the animals. He had a shark for once he was young, small, only a prince. His father and mother in front of him, on a pedestal on top of a tylosaurus.

The parade was for pride, the kingdoms together for the solemn purpose of existing after the Great Fall. The royal families, the respected generals and war heros, all lined up to celebrate another year. Atlantis was first of course, the Xebellians behind, followed by the Fishermen, and the Brine. The occasion was peaceful, for what Orm wasn’t in peace at all, he wasn’t a man yet, couldn’t understand the factors of marriage, couldn’t let go of the incident, he was smiling at least, because at some point his father turned behind to take a look, and his lips moved. Smile. As his king wished, he did, an order he wasn’t exactly fulfilling, the white teeth where showing, his mouth opened, but it was crooked, and fake. So lost inside his own head, inside his own thoughts.

Focus! Focus! The voice inside yelled at himself, what kind of Prince he would be if he couldn’t complete his duty? When he finally took his eyes off his father’s grip on his mother’s hands, they averted to the side, searching on the crowd a will to go through all that. All the faces, all the shouts. Nothing. He felt nothing. Until his head moved up, and there, far away, on the higher platform for important, high-borns families, on the privilege views. Someone who had the same serious face as him, unbothered gaze, hair swimming, adorning the shape of her cheeks like a crown with a gold ornament on the side, the lips closed on the rigid line of her jawline. She wore purple and suited her well.

Orm tried to recall when he had seen her before, failing. A strange face. But she was sitting somewhere he would known everybody. By the sides, a man and a woman, he also tried to recall their faces, nothing yet. She entertained his stare until the platform was left behind, until his neck couldn’t turn anymore to watch her.

Seemed there were actually two sad atlanteans that day.

EARS

Once, the worst part of his birthdays was his mother, not herself. Not her caring, soft hands, or her hugs, or kisses. Not her smile. Not her blue eyes. Not the blond hair swinging in the entire room in pretty waves. Her absence. The first year without her presence was disturbing, the second was awful, and the third was fading. It was a shame to say, Orm didn’t remember her that well, now. Some years had passed, along memories, and longing. Sometimes he was ashamed to say he didn’t think of her that much, the grieving had a funny way with him, he was locked away in his own room for days, yet no tears. His father had kept the secret until the very last moment, he didn’t know what was happening until the trench was close enough, besides the entire kingdom knowing, he was oblivious, seemed his father had even funnier ways to mess with him.

Forced to look, forced to watch, and fight against his own mother being sacrificed, she had shouted for him, and Orm had yelled back, but his father was stronger, he was right there, holding him still, hands on his biceps, face on his ears, like a spirit from the past, he felt the lips on his earlobe. A bastard. He stopped immediately, shocked, body failing to keep fighting. The bastard. His senses numbed as she was slowly disappearing from his sight. She had a half-breed, treason.

For months, he didn’t know if he was grieving his mother, or her secret. A powerful queen like herself, to subjugate, accept, cohabit with a human… She had lost her mind, yet the more he thought about it, the more he lost his. The thin line of love, and obeying was starting to fade. The King’s speeches were beginning to make sense, the new ideas of a different future were settling right inside his brain, almost able to recite them one by one, the strongest was the King’s wish to make Orm Marius the best yet. The whole attention, devotion and energy should be spent on his training, on his lessons, on Atlantis that had been suffering with the surface for decades. It was showing then, Orm was becoming the man his father wanted him to be, who took pride on the pure-blood son one day not being only a great king, but a dangerous threat to his enemies.

That year was even decided there was no party, Orm needed to train, needed to study; the only thing it happening was people bringing gifts. He didn’t want that neither, but the King said this costum couldn’t stop, it was necessary. They needed to be spoiled, they needed to be known, to be superior. Vulko was on his right, while the King was on the throne, he was just floating in the warm water in the room, his hands together in front of his torso that was getting bigger, a shape of broad shoulders. He wasn’t small anymore, maybe still young, but not that young, not that innocent. If anything, Orm’s blue bright eyes had a colder shine, the traces on his skin starting to look more like his father than his mother.

“And this is the family of Y/L/N,” Vulko’s voice was distance, low, only for him to hear. “Their ancestors served the crown once, before the second war, they were habitating in Xebel, but decided to come back to Atlantis now the patriarch is dead.”

A woman and a girl were swimming close, stopping to greet. Who he judge as the mother was carrying a box with an aquamarine as lock, the attire of same shade, silver bracelets and a kind smile.

She was placing in front of him with the pile of many others, but he never saw her doing so, instead, he was intrigued by the weapon the daughter was holding, dark grey, utterly curvy on the edges which were five, the handle adorned by arabesques circulating until the extremes along the battle marks, seemed old, however powerful. The girl held it with a straight posture, a warrior. Different from what he reminded, but it was her, he was sure. Purple dressed her too well. The hair had four or six braids floating around her face, much like a halo, adorning the cheekbones, the still rigid jawline, and still hard lips. Her eyebrows were up high, pearls on top of them, matching the color of her eyes. And this time, the purple was tight, admitting both of them had grown up, the cleavage was revealing her popping clavicules, the extra skin of her breasts, the curves continuing to her waist, and hips. Almost a completely woman. An attractive woman.

“You bear a trident,” he stated to her, blankly, forgetting to thank for the gift. His face with no emotions, but it didn’t mean the shiver he felt in his spine wasn’t there, a trickling feeling on his skin that Orm couldn’t name it. It was somehow disrespectful, like a question, taking off her right to carry it.

Her left eyebrow lifted even higher, pearls sparkling along in shades of green, purple and yellow, the trident suffered a whirl, and a thug on the ground, sound echoing, “it belonged to my great grandfather, he fought in the war, died for Atlantis.”

The voice match her looks, daring, a reckon, the water danced on her tone, which meant she was not intimidated by him, ready to prove she was worthy of carrying it. A strong presence with a strong sound, even she was smaller than him, not passing his chest for a fact. All the lessons of reading the opponent was handy in a moment like this, her body language was of someone always alert, someone confident, her breathing was calm, indeed not caring who she was facing. The Prince Of Atlantis. She’d be a good adversary.

“Were you trained with it?” the question now didn’t have any second intentions, rather just curiosity. His face finally moved, just a curl of lips, a blink of lashes, and the feeling stopped by his neck, where his hair was standing on the ends.

“By my own father who had it before me,” she said, noticing his icy eyes were staring down at her, a little movement of her feet, floating higher to fix it. They were on the same level, in an uncomfortable silence, if any noticed, the others accompanying them were alert.

“Good,” Orm said, with a nod of his head. “One day may Atlantis need you as a soldier.”

“My honor, Your Highness,” her tongue hit the back of her upper teeth when talking, which he saw slowly, the feeling going down his shoulders, under the armour, to his hands, the tip of his fingers. It didn’t fade until she turned and left the room, legs swinging in the water with her mother by her side.

The day remained boring, nothing pleasing Orm, neither the training later, or the studies, for what his mind couldn’t stop remembering itself of a purple attire, a trident, and a ringing voice.

My honor.

My honor...

Your highness...

NOSE

The passages of his life were made of deaths, every critical decision, every choice given, every chance made only after losing a life. Queen Atlanna had been sacrificed, only then he was able to decide who he wanted to be, a traitor like his mother or a powerful king like his father, he decided to be none, to be better, to be the best in every way he could. Accomplished. The King Orvax had died, only then he was able to rise to his purpose, finally giving him the freedom of being just a Prince; the chance of serving his people, of succeeding his plans for the future. For what, Orm wanted to great, a legend perhaps, there was no insecurities for the throne, no doubts of himself, he knew he could, he knew he would, Atlantis wouldn’t know a better King.

Sometimes, Orm would even forget he was a man of needs. Yet the truth always found a way to slap his face, shouting to be recognize, yelling louder than he ever could.

It wasn’t a subject his father spoke with him about, he was just given a wife and nothing else. Mera, the xebelian. It was a deal, an arrange, and Orm had grown up with her for far too long to know he wasn’t able to love her, he could respect, offer his loyalty, be a good husband, but never love. She was beautiful, he knew, he always did, since they were kids in the adventures through the oceans, when the lights hit her just right, her long red hair waving, she was pleasing to look at, but something was lacking, something was off. Love wasn’t made of attractive faces or colorful hairs. Indeed, Orm believed he wasn’t capable of love. His biggest duty was to Atlantis, to its preservation, to its protection.

Mera felt the same, he knew. She would never love him. They had consideration for each other, it was even good on a side to have her as a future wife, he wouldn’t pretend to be somebody to gain her admiration, she wouldn’t force herself into a unhappy marriage with somebody else. At least, they were friends when young, and time only could help them to have an heir, as he hoped. Because it was issue he decided to mind after the marriage, after the ceremony, when it in fact happened, not now when they are only betrothed: touching her. She didn’t excite him. He didn’t fantasized about her. Rarely were the times he actually fantasize about a woman, even when it happened, his body curling in his bed, the water dense on his torso, thick on his lungs, and the spasms asking for it, there was not a face, or a body, it was just the feeling. Sometimes he would close his eyes and think of purple. Sometimes he would force himself to fight the feeling away.

Vulko tried to talk to him about that subject, voice taken back, an apprehension on how to approach such matters. Orm stopped him, noticing what that was about. “I am not an animal, this alone should be enough for your concerns.”

It did had a toll on him lately, when his young years were gone, and Orm was what others would call proper age. His body at its peak, his physical appearance established, and the looks it brought to him. The servants passing by, their pupils heavy under the lashes, not reaching his own gaze because that would be reaching, but piercing through the armours, on his neck, and lips. They would be intense when it was time to train, when his body was left to feel the water without barriers, they usually had his armour on hands, or food, or bars when it was time for a new lesson. His feet felt the ground under, his torso circulated in cold water, fighting. The muscles lines were changing according to his moviments, too many of them, back, abdomen, arms, chest, all the stares on him. Orm felt he was giving a show, not training. When it was time to try the bars, the servant came with a bowed body, delicate hands offering the new instruments of battle, and his hand lingered against hers to get it. She moved her head to him, the hair moving in the way, able to cover her entire face but an eye. Desire.

That night had been hard to get through, he wanted it. He needed it. Skin twisting in his bed, the water gaining a new temperature his body failed to adjust to, his neck couldn’t even shallow it properly. It was the first time desire won against him, he thought about searching for her, but what humiliation would be for a Prince around hallways, impulsing himself to seek a servant for satisfaction. He couldn’t sleep, the pain on his lower abdomen asking for release, for the torture he putted himself through, his mind didn’t focus on any other matters besides an atlantean’s body.

His journey through this path had been somewhat disturbing after that, women knowledge his presence, his beauty, his appeal of a sleek blond hair with big, blue eyes, a straight nose and a rigid jawline. He discovered what he liked as well, what made him ask for more, not many times, maybe just three or four, enough for him to be satisfied for months, or years, they were usually high-borns, discreeted, not interested in stealing him for his duty, rather having a night with Prince Orm while they could. He always felt bad after, dressing himself and his mind going for Mera, felt like a betraying act. Guilt overcame pleasure easily after.

But the ironies of life were much deeper than his oceans, even with his future wife by his side, so close to him, sensing the water running through her mouth, nose, and lungs, he couldn’t control the desire when it drowned him, it started as an impulse in the back of neck, growing into a itching on his palms, to a tightness on his stomach. The surprise made him lean forward, eyes wide, a predator watching.

She came dashing in whirls, the bubbles forming a tail behind her feet, the tip of her trident ripping the water, and she stopped, arms opening, trident rising on top of her head, the armour was composed of hard golden scales on the shoulders falling through her breasts and hips, her feet had the protection boots coming to her knees, under of course, as usual, the purple hugging her curves. The braids on her hair this time were the ones for war, from the roots of her forehead to the back where they were loose, no helmet, but a huge choker on her neck, with pointed ends curling out of her face. She shouted with the crowd, they cheered for her, they loved their champion. To savour her congratulations, the body swag around the platforms, trident in circles, everybody had their hands up, and she was rising. Until she stopped again, higher, close to the Royals.

Orm regretted missing the battles, he had better matters to attend to, but his presence in the deliver of the medal to the champion was important, only he could deliver it, when his vizier said the champion that year was a she, he never thought that she was the one, he should have known, all his years and she was the only he could recall who had a trident, and was willing to take it to battle. Also, he regretted not participating that year, he would be very pleased to fight against her, test to see what she was capable of. Of course much, for what she had won.

Closer, it was easier to see the scratches on her armour, only a glove on her right hand, the left with blood floating in tiny bubbles, the bruise on her cheek, a line of red between purple and green, but she was fenomenal, the posture straight, not losing the high class, her beauty had grow older just as his. The traces of her nose and lips were softer, those are a shade of red almost purple, and her eyes batted against the top of her cheeks in long, thick curtains of lashes, the height hasn’t improved though, still smaller, and Orm couldn’t describe exactly what he felt when she entered the platform, pushing herself to the ground, kneeling with her entire being, trident resting on both hands, and hair in waves. It was desire, so much desire the water around him became heavy, a pressure on his shoulder he hadn’t ever felt before.

“Your Highness,” she greeted still bowing for him, fulfilling his memories of her voice, Orm had dreamt of it once, or twice, perhaps more times he wanted to admit, and the electricity inside his veins almost choked his voice out to answer.

Mera or Vulko none existed by his side, or the crowd, or the cheering. Only the atlantean kneeling for her King, offering him her trident, paying her respects. Orm held the medal high, swinging his legs to stop by her front.

“My champion,” his voice was raw, and she looked up to his cold eyes, an abyss of darkness, her lips twisted, but in what he identificate as his effect on the opposite sex, and Orm knew right away he could touch her face and she would let him, but he didn’t, not because he didn’t want to, but because she had the right to obtain what she came for. His hands switched quickly and the pearls around the medal fell from her head into her neck, until it rested between the choker and the armour. “Congratulations.”

She finally stood up, and Orm had been so close, the threads of her hair waved close to his face on the movement, almost a caress on his nose, she smelled of the deep currents when they pass the lava and the texture of both were meet in the fire and water, of fresh seaweed in the old city, sweet like battle, like duty. He was private, he was against any public touch, yet the King himself drowned in that smelled and wished to take her right there, uncover her curves, learn about her flesh, and listen to the graceful music her sounds would be on the water. He didn’t fantasize, yet he was, flashing question of what she liked, of how she was once nude, if she had another men in her bed, lost in the color of her eyes, in the halo of her hair, in the fierce beauty. Behind her glory class, he also saw the imagination flowing, of him, his lips, his hands, his body.

“I must know your name,” his upper lip, slightly meatier than the lower, moved and caught her gazing. For the Gods, Orm wanted her.

“Y/N, I—” she whispered slowly, fixed on the mouth, but was interrupted by Vulko, carried the King’s trident to him, Orm woke up from the tantalizing moment when the cane was presented.

“It was one of the best battles I've ever seen,” he said, cheerful, letting the heaviness of the trident fall on Orm’s hands.

“Thank you,” she bowed again, and Orm wished she didn’t, not for anybody else, only himself.

“Go present Atlantis your medal, champion,” he sent her away with good intentions. Go feel your glory. To what she nodded, with a last look at her handsome King, heavy lids, heavy heart, then Orm smiled, a malicious manner, corner of his lips rising, no teeth, superior to all.

Y/N circulated in the ocean, the trident shining, the crowd cheering even more with the medal adorning her neck, and Orm was left with his vizier, with his betrothed, and the unspoken understatement, both knew what it meant, and it was enough. She would come back for him, he just had to wait.

That night, desired had won, and Orm didn’t fight against it, closing his lids and thinking of the smell of her hair.

MOUTH

Orm would never forget the first time he laid his lips on hers, Y/N had a tight grip on his golden armour, nails crawling up between the scales to find any piece of skin she could, it was more a press than a kiss, strong for what both wanted to feel for too long, desperated. They were soft, so soft, and so eager for him, there was no space for anything else as he held her head with his both hands, prisioning the hair between his gloves, pulling her closer if possible. But Orm wanted more, always.

His life was made of conquering, of ruling, they were his first extinct. The times in the past when the shivers in his spine passed through when seeing her were nothing compared to the hammering urge to own her. To be owned by her.

Y/N had parted the lips, her tongue advertising between in hunger, licking his mouth, and inviting his own to taste it. Her flavour was of warm waters, of longing, of desire, and pleasure. Of betrayal, of treason, of unloyalty, and guilt. A perfect mixture of everything Orm had been craving for his life. They kissed as two creatures, humming into each other as battling for more, for survival, knowing they didn’t have time to go slow, to take it somewhere. They only had that moment, and it had to be enough. His teeth came for her lips, crashing down on the lower one as his hands pulled her head back, wanting to both have her and destroy her.

I am not an animal, he had said to his vizier. But the lines of desires were blurred, Orm couldn’t recognize himself when his teeth bit into her neck, the flesh gently bending over, the veins pumping blood under his mercy, and she moaned, body pressing on his armour, pushing her into his torso. Orm lost it then. The first sound of her was the same as winning, the thrill of it. He was addicted to that, to devour her. He knew he whispered something into her ear as his hands helped her to strip himself from the armour, from the crown, groaning when her fingers ran on the muscles on his back, unplugging the attire, that fell on water and then the ground. Her purple attire was torn before she could have the chance to undress herself to him, Orm had grabbed the sides and pulled hard, for he couldn’t wait to touch her skin.

The curves were a sight to touch, the rough hands squeezing her being with want, too fast to remember, enough to feel, they filled with her breasts, then her hips, and his mouth joined, kissing and biting the way down. He had her laid on his own bed, the King’s bed. Almost a Queen. He drowned under her, on the edge of the bed, his tongue discovering her real taste as she wished. Orm could stay there forever, watching her swishing her hips harder on his face, the warrior strength forcing him deeper. Her moans were delicious, outraged, feeling his tongue entering, her eyes had searched for him, watching his tongue licking all the way from the crack, to the entrance to the point of pleasure. Orm sucked her intimacy with his opened, and was also able to watch the effect it had on her face, the eyebrows high, the flashing of color on the cheeks, and the pearls adorning their bones, sparkling. His thumbs seeked into her, opening the lower lips for more. He wanted more. He wanted everything.

The orgasm took a time, showing Orm both she had been done this before and she was not shy. Her feet stopped on his back, the jewelry on her ankles scratching his muscles, serving the support to thrust her hips toward him, and she rolled them many times, moaning his name, sucking water, loud and needy. Orm ate her up, helped her to the limit, took her there and admired the beauty in an atlantean’s cry. Her back curling, hands messing the bed and chest expanding His arms held her entirely, thighs, waist, ass, the skin hot, delicious. Y/N grabbed him immediately by the shoulders, eyes blinded by carnal thoughts, and kissed his lips, impulsing herself into his lap. They were sitting the floor then, and she cried again, the suffocating stretch for her King. He was big, thick, pulsing. Clutching into her back as the groan left his throat, she was tight, and wet; different from the sea, dense, heavenly.

No rhythm, no nice and easy pace. Orm groaned on her lips as rode, hands squeezing her back, pulling her hair, eating her moans, and cries like he had been starving. The breasts rubbed on his chests, the nipples hard, the thighs hitting against his own, and tides of water circulating them. At some point, he took control on the moviments, stiffening her body still, thrusting up into her. Y/N had let go then, nails digging behind on his knees, and back curled in the way her breasts followed his control. A hand came for her neck. Orm gave it a light thug to make it noticed, and didn’t know who enjoyed it more. Him, feeling her veins and the shape of it, or her, rolling her eyes and crying for her King.

Beg for me. He managed to let out, between all the mixture of emotions, all the creatures actions. Beg. And before she could, his feet pushed the floor, they ended on the wall, Y/N was turned and her head rested there. Give me the pleasure again, Your Majesty. She said, overwhelmed by him, their legs circulated together and they held on the glass. The sea outside with the purple and pink lights, gardens of seaweeds, corals, and Y/N inside offered herself to him, a tilt of waist. Make me worthy. Orm invaded her again with power, hitting her hips on the glass with a sound overflowing the room. He held her neck, disappearing his face into her hair, smelling the freshness, the sweetness, taking her from behind with the same strength he used to fight with. She accepted, she wanted it, she could take it. Muffed pushes into the wall with their many others noises, the fleshes of both collapsing into each other, easily mistaken as they could become one, and Orm never felt like that before. Fulfilled. Her lips caught him in ways he had never been kissed before, her body engulfed him in ways he had never been touched before; she was a beast of domination, and the track of who was the one in control faded, of course he gave orders and she listened, however how could he be sure she wasn’t exactly doing what she needed to do to make him follow the path she wanted?

They had each other for hours, and hours, Y/N had been bending for him in every position, and Orm had worn himself out in her arms. Their bodies floated around the room, back to his bed, Y/N on her knees and elbows, on the table with holographic lights that reflect on her skin in colorful maps and letters as she once again managed to get on top, terrifyingly holding his neck, laying on water, on the ceiling, soaring on the sides, clapping on the white material. He had come undone four times with her that night, stamina dripping from the pores, dancing between them in the drift, and Y/N wasn’t done, not yet. Laid on his chest, kissed his muscles and let his fingers entry her core, there was nothing left to do, but watch the perfection of how luxury stripped on her face. It was the moment he saw the future of wanting it again, searching for her again. And for the first time in a night of betrayal, Orm didn’t feel guilty. Instead, he felt peace, closed his lids and explored dreamlands.

Many were the nights Orm passed through the guards on the palace and dived into the dark, using the ruins of the Old City to arrive at her home, more times than he would like to admit. His emotions were always the same, every time seemed the first time. Y/N would greet him into her chambers, they would kiss and succumb into each other greatly, like warriors waiting for battles. She would wear purple, blue and even white; some nights the pearls on her face were on top of her cheekbones, highlighting the sea, some nights on the back of her hand, embellished into the dress, some nights her hair was braided from the roots, not letting him touch it, some nights she would wear diademas of precious stones, and gold. And some nights Orm wasn’t a creature, neither was she. Some nights he would trace her features with his finger tips before a kiss, some nights he would talk, of the throne, of Atlantis, of destiny, of her.

She was far more interesting than he could imagine. Her family came from a line of high borns since before the Great Fall, her great grandfather became one of the King’s vizier at his lifetime, but died in the second war, the trident was a gift passing through generations, her descendants were always proud of it, making the tradition of every heir being trained, guided to, when the Crown needed, they would fight by again. Her mother was from Xebel Royalty, what could and would explain when her fingers moved in circles creating bubbles and weak currents, however not always, she was quite unsure of it. Y/N was trained and educated there, coming to Atlantis when her father died, and her mother insisted she finished her training where he finished his own. His last words were be brave, and never ashamed. Before that, the only time she had been to Atlantis was on the celebration, the parade, many years ago when Orm remembered as the first time he saw her, sadness locked on her lips. He enjoyed the opportunity to ask why then, and her words trailed off, confessing she had an older brother, who by right, would be the one trained with the trident, and he was until he decided to swim too close to the surface, and never came back, Orm remembered his mother for a second, and it faded. Y/N was filling his space when the trident were passed to her, at the beginning, never seemed good, her father pushed to much, compared too much, she preferred the spells, preferred learning about the water, plants; after his death was the moment she stopped practicing the gifts from her mother, to honor him, it was her passion now. That night, they didn’t have any intimacy, Orm slept on her chest with her fingers curling his blond hair, most of his armour still on. A feeling easily to get addicted to.

“13,” her voice was quiet, as if telling a secret, the ringing a massage on his ears, he turned his face and felt her soft lips touching his cheek, they formed a smile. The fingers on his rib cage were gently tracing a scar there, the skin was rough unlike the rest of his torso, the muscles flexed in a shiver when only the long nail finished the drawing, obviously she referred to it. “I counted, you have 13.”

Silence.

It had been one of those night, where just lay together was enough, the warmth of somebody else’s body to press against was what he craved. He was nude for what Y/N had took his armour off piece by piece, unplugged his attire from behind and left a trace of kisses his spine. Orm floated on her silky sheets and she sat by the edge, admiring his bare beauty.

“Kiss me,” Orm said, his tone the same husky, grave, intimidating kind he used to give orders to General Murk, on his eyes, there was an abyss of coldness, the blue not transmitting any emotion, however his upper lip curled, asking for hers, and Y/N trailed off to accomplish, wondering if it was the closer her King ever got to ask for something.

She sealed his mouth with a first peck, then a second, and a third when the ends of her hair decided to play along his cheeks, until Orm had with her games, the tip of his tongue coming to line the shape of her bottom lip, calmly entering between the teeth, licking the inside inviting her to follow, and Melissa did, kissed him like promising to break him into pieces.

MIND

The yells came from outside, not perceived exactly what, seemed more of roars of sea beasts, and soon, knocks on the walls, loud thugs happening closer and closer to the entrance, then guns, the shots took always echoed of metal on the end causing everybody in the room alarmed into a group of protection, the guards pointing and waiting for the riot reach them while Murk and Vulko impulsed into a barrier for their King, who, for the sake of his own good, wielded his trident, and floated in a higher level, the black cape hem waving in water, covering the vision of Atlantis behind the huge glass. A final thug when the last guard outside bumped into the ground unconscious and, with the body light, stopped into the water, arms opened.

When she came, which he expected her to, she wasn't the type to be tamed down, her trident came first, the five edges crushing the fiber the door was, her body seen finally, the curves wrapped up in a gray suit, the boots had the famous scales of an armour, in the same of shade of white she cared on the scales of her shoulders, her hair whipped with the strength her arms up her head, the fingers were interlaced holding the weapon on the middle; the usual pearls where forgotten in the bubbles, disconnecting from the skin, her jawline was a rigid line along the lips, showing the ranger of her teeth, and the eyes… Oh, her eyes were revenge, demanding blood, they were never this insane before. Her biceps recoiled with the trident, and from her throat, they all heard her roaring, when in a first succeed try, the prongs breached the fiber isolation.

“Do not let her pass!” Murk shouted, sword ready to be used, but before the guards could follow, the trident entered the hole, twisted into a straight line and pulled back, having both of their heads bumped against the walls by the necks on the cane. The general was about to attack when, the last three remained noticed the same eyes asking for war were red, and bubbles of tears formed in the threads of her calm path to the middle where they were found.

Y/N stared at him, trident ceasing by the side, loose on her palm. She stared at his blond hair free in the water with the crown of a King, at his rosy lips that had no smiles for that specific moment, at the broad shoulders carrying the whole kingdom upon, and at the blue eyes, where she found nothing, no care, no compassion, no pity, no empathy, just a freezing immensity the Seven Seas could envy its depth. His posture was unbreakable, risen up above her, taller, stronger, with no mercy.

Orm saw on her face the confusion going through her ideas of to say, he knew when she was thinking, her lids blinked fast, he saw her sucking of water through the mouth, she was also out of herself. It wouldn’t be easy to invade a royal ship, all the degrees to finally reach him would cause even exhaustion on the most praised soldier, what was impossible in fact for her was just another task. He had to admit though, he expected her to come to him alone, somehow in private, not that way, not in an one atlantean crusade.

Her hand unlocked a plug from her silver belt, throwing it at his feet, the object a red flashing message. It had been sent last night, at her home, right at her by a soldier who didn’t identify as anybody, simply leaving it and going away.

“A year,” she started, voice trembling in both anger, and sadness, minding not at all Vulko or Murk glaring at her. “A full year and can’t my King at least deliver the news himself with me?”

There were seconds of anticipation, and waiting, when Orm spoke, it was in a misery. “I do not wish to see your face no more. Wasn’t I clear?”

“Orm…” she pleaded, intimacy wearing off in her, the old, caring way she’d greet him at her chambers, waiting for talks, waiting for kisses.

“Your Majesty!” she was corrected by Murk, who snarled with the scar on his face twisting in disgust.

Y/N left a single sick laugh, from the redness of her eyes, bubbles kept falling. “Of course, Your Majesty. I demand an explanation.”

“Leave,” Orm commanded, tone higher, mouth opened in anger, the teeth rangering, and his trident touched the ground under his feet in a warning. The shock on her eyes was not mistaken, she was about to pronounce herself again, but he stopped her, “Leave!”

It was her turn to impulse herself up, eyes on the same level as his, separated only by the vizier and the sword pointed at her waist, and her trident gave the same thug on the floor, for now her face were only anger. “I will not!”

Orm swimmed through the barrier of the two in a motion of arms and floated by her front, close enough he could see there were only three pearls left on top of one eyebrow, and only one on the other, the shine of her cheeks, the beauty of her traces which were harsh at glaring back at him, and could almost feel the softness of her lips. He was glad she came this way, it was easier to send her away in front of others.

The edge of his weapon trinkled in the movement of elapsing it to her neck, a real threat.

“It was an order,” his tongue clicked in every word, unforgiving, the voice raw and collected again.

Y/N blinked slowly, looking down at the edges on her trough, not being able to hold the strong posture any longer, when her pupils stared back, defeated, she whispered. “What was I to you?”

Orm didn’t expect it, there was not something he had prepared for before, his lungs had a tighter grip on their own, the water was too thick for the second, and he gulped, not answering.

Everything.

It was the real reason he had to leave, not for the lack of interest, or for what she could possible think of, no. Not at all. By the Gods, Orm didn’t wish for it. But, six nights ago, when he found himself between her arms and legs, gaining her comfort, he longed for what he didn’t know what.

A lie, he did. Orm longed of her eyes every morning, staring back at him on his bed, longed of her voice calling his name in the afternoon, longed of her smell when he was sitting on his throne, longed of her lips, kissing him at nights. He longed for her profoundly, feeling home only into her arms, feeling freedom only when she was close. It was new, the seconds counted to meet her, to lost himself into her, the way his body begged for her in the nights he was away. In that same moment, Orm thought for a minimum amount of time of a life with her, of how could be to have her as his Queen, present her as his, and valued as hers. Fantasized about not only for that, but much more. Showing her the other kingdoms she didn’t know, allowing her study knowledgement available only for a Queen, swimming the rest of the seas together, helping Atlantis to grow.

The day next to when it happened, Mera and her father had been with him for a mere hour, to discuss matters of Xebel. Her red hair coloring a guilt, a mirror Orm saw his own reflection as his mother. Treason, he repeated at himself. Traitor, he accused himself. Because he was ready to break the deal with the King Nereus, for his own sake, forget the huge plans he had for his people, for their future, he did not wish a betrothed, and he was ready to put his own kingdom at risk for it. Then he knew he had to leave Y/N before doing so, even if in the back of his mind, the vision of his father and mother fighting each other flashed non stop.

What was worst? A loveless marriage or two kingdoms splitting to fail the Rise of Atlantis?

Loveless.

Orm thought he was not able to, he thought it would never come to him, however there were her, the prove. He didn’t know sadness like that until she gave up, trident floating by itself in front of him and left, swimming away. In his chest, a heart he had dedicated only for Atlantis, arching.

His life had never been the same since then, but a Great King would never let life distract him from the duty.

HEART

“Orm,” his mother called, the long hair a whole wave of blond in the very clean room, her voice sweet and delicate. It felt strange in the beginning, it seemed more of a mirage, a memory lost in years, the point between dreams and sleeping where it was blurry to tell the difference, until her hands came in a gentle touch, to hold and hug, it was when the point of real reached higher than dreams and she was there. There. Alive and well.

He was quiet, not for ignorance, but for the animal on the other side of the glass, the small turtle was the first to appear that week, it was the season of year the higher water changed the temperature and fishes were claiming for the warmth, traveling from another part of the sea. It was utterly tiny, and it swang in a circle, legs clapping bubbles, definitely showing off to him for what he was close, the fingertips touched where the turtle was, in an attempt to reach it somehow. A small sound to communicate with him, and it spinned again. There was envy spreading inside his chest when seeing it, floating free beyond those clear walls where he was trapped with only a bed to rest, and a view to mourgue.

“Orm,” she called again, still calmly, noticing what had happened. Months had gone by since the last time he was able to swim in open sea and of course, he would miss it. Her son turned his head, ears in her direction, but not the eyes, still locked with the friendly turtle, one of the only companion he had in days.

Of course, Atlanna would come almost everyday to see him, informing when she would be gone for more than two days, she didn’t say the reason, yet it was obvious it had to do with the human on the surface. Mera came twice only, said very little, for what her eyes had a sense of shyness when seeing his state, then she had come to say sorry, and was asked to never come again, pity was not something he wanted to hear. Vulko came after a long time, both not having any words for each other, it was out of consideration for before, when he was young and knew better. Arthur never came.

“Yes, mother?” Orm profered, quietly. Hand falling at his side, and feet switched in, slow, almost not moving, small inches above the floor. The boots he wore were black, a special shade reflecting the coral lights, and on the ends by his calves, a detail in blue contrasting with the white suit adorning his body, no hardness of armour, no jewelry on the shoulders, the ordinary kind, the ones that, when the light hit right, sprinkled baby blue on the scales texture.

“I took liberty to go into your bedroom,” she started, cautiously, making him turn complete at her over his shoulders, the once rough features of his face were nothing more than plain now, emotionless like the last months had dragged the life out of them, they were still ever so breathtaking, just lacking even the slight feeling to prove he was not dead inside.

As a mother, she wanted to find something, could be anger, could be pain, could be failure, anything she could use to help him heal, would be easier to know what Orm was thinking and feeling when she wanted to talk, but he was a barrier, one of the strongest, like the bridge outside Atlantis, surviving decades with no moving, in the ruins of once a empire. She had heard stories of Orm as a King, not about the war against the surface, the other ones, how he helped the technological advance in their soldiers, the study of the new plants presented in the capital, and news philosophies for their culture, the people had an enormous respect for him, an intimate relationship for what he was always watching his kingdom close. His ideas of change, of growth was supported by them all, Atlantis joined him in the attack on the Brine without second thoughts, and there were the whispers around.

King Orm. King Orm. The real King Orm. He still had support, for what Arthur had the Atlan’s trident, however was oblivious in a degree to Atlantis, to the people, and the costumes, for what Orm had grown up in those waters, under the kingdom’s eyes, won championships with them as a crowd, built new places, expanded the homes and knowledges, and gave a hope of saving their children, once for all. She wondered if Orm knew he was forgiven, not by the Fishermen, but by Atlantis and Xebel, and by his brother. Wondered if he knew the agitations presented in the few last weeks outside his cell was not just guards yelling at each other by another prisoner’s fault, it was in fact a failed attempt of freeing him.

Little they knew, Orm didn’t wish to be rescued, at least that Atlanna knew, because when she brought him some spare suits and some holograms to read through, he dismissed, saying he was just like any other in those prisoners cells, then shouldn’t be treated specially. The only favor he accepted was the window to the depth of the sea, to remember, to still have the contact with the land he was trying to protect. And to remember, that part of him who failed, lost his throne, hundreds of soldiers, his betrothed, and his glory.

“Mother, I told you I do not want special treatment,” he said, the last bit of hoping of making her understand, he wasn’t rude, however definitely bold.

“I found the trident, Orm,” Atlanna stood from the bed, body hovering up in the middle of the room, the crown on her head rather small than he remanded from his young years, when she would play with him, and put it on his head, promising he would be great. From the way she spoke, she knew somehow, though Vulko, the only one present in that room who didn’t die or vanished, Murk was gone, never came back from the surface, and he didn’t tell.

Actually, it was a part of the beginning of his reign, Orm kept locked deep inside the back of his mind to never remember again, a hard task he had fulfilled like any other until months ago. It began with a struggle, when his hand closed around the trident left behind, the silence of the room sucked him into an abyss of despair, there was no need to excuse himself, Orm left right away, feeling the bubbles of her impulses breaking on his cheeks for she had been in the same path not long ago, but he went straight to the palace, two tridents and only one heir; he knocked her weapon down under his attires, under the studies on the tables, where no one could see, cracked the wall and hid there, the only vestige of its existence was a scratch on the material being taken off and placed back again. It hunted him like a spirit in nights, when his body arched for her, painfully, and he still felt the taste of her mouth on his, nightmares invaded his sleep, the weapon shaking the cabinet, shining through, it would break it at some point, align on his neck and take his life, Orm always woke almost drowning. He had missed her in the morning, for when he had opened his eyes for her smile, the curve of her lips an enchantment of their own, he had missed her in the afternoons, her voice of talks, of stories about her life, of Xebel, of her mother and father, and gone brother, how many details she could give when describing what she thought Atlantis could improve. He had missed her, completely, even losing in rare occasion the control of himself, opening the crack on the wall and staring at her trident. He doubted it was capable of calling her into the Seven Seas, calling her back home. He never tried, pulling the wall back into place and scolded himself to never even think of doing it.

And love didn’t fade like that, he grieved her for her death to him, and suffered quiet when he saw pearls, when he saw purple. Tried twice harder, and harder to forget her, focusing on his kingdom that was worth the sacrifice, for only years later, he was able to push her back into the darkness his brain made just for her to dwell, a coffin of black arabesques and red scales, her name adorned on the visior. Yet, Orm, with an extend acquaintance in atlantean behavior, should had know that kind of happiness simply wouldn’t be replaced like that, didn’t matter how much he succeed in his duties, that kind of happiness not even Atlantis could bring back.

The irony was the sacrifice he offered to the Gods passed by as nothing, for there he was with nothing left on his palms. Nothing.

Atlanna saw what that did to her son, saw the eyebrows falling, the lower lip curling, the pupils longing into the ground, and an awful sigh leaving his mouth. What did on his body, sinking into the floor with heaviness, the broad shoulders falling in an inferior posture. The first feeling coming from him. It was sorrow.

“Please, mother,” he begged, trembling. “Leave.”

She didn’t, instead went for him, staring at the ghost of a warrior who had no strength, she smiled in grace, empathy, denying with her head. “The writtens on it allowed me to find its owner. She is back in Atlantis, my son.”

Orm widened his eyes, heart skipping a beat with the revelation. “No, please, mother…”

“Yes,” Atlanna nodded then, careful with the words, whispering into his cheeks, the same ones her hands came to hold, to not let him shatter across that depressing cell. “Do you wish to see her?”

The mere thought of her in front of him, seeing his state, what he came was a shame of its own. Gods, the things she must heard of him already, the fallen, miserable thing he had become, locked away in a prison, no crown, the humiliation it brought to Orm was a reason to never leave there again.

He finally broke, shattered around, his blue eyes red of insanity, pushing his own mother’s arms away, impulsing himself into the ceiling, where his back hit with a loud thug, the roar leaving his throat was enough for the whole building to hear, if not, outside too. No! He impulsed to the glass then, hitting with his left shoulder in a chance to escape that room, go to the Trench himself and be gone, there was no way to bear the emptiness the news created inside. Orm wanted to disappear.

Atlanna yelled in his behalf, trying to get him, calm him down when he tried to divide the glass again, shouting with all his being. The guards outside were moving already, to contain him. Orm didn’t care, he kept trying, again, and again. Until he stopped all of the sudden, his senses captured the attack seconds before, and his body shifted to dodge it. It was no plasma, no shot, just five curved edges piercing the glass. He was definitely drowning when his neck betrayed his commands and followed from where it came from.

As the sun that long ago shined through Atlantis, Y/N was found by the entrance of his cell, hovering like a goddess ascending, if years had any affect on her beautiful traces, the only difference able to be shown would be her hair, longer than before, a big halo around the face, her own crown of braids dancing between the threads. The attire was purple, scales trickling green and blue, defining the curves of a body he knew like the lines on the palm of his hand in the past. Her wrists contained silver bracelets, a match to the silver boots up high on her thighs, where the ends branched gills. And, as the memories, on top of her high eyebrows there were the pearls, the biggest one between them, and the smallests following the shapes, her pupils under the thick lashes were harsh, the same superior posture she had when she was gifting in his birthday, the lips in burgundy color. She didn’t seem happier, neither sad. Neutral.

Orm was speechless, stuck. Emotions he had buried deep down forcing their way up against the barrier he built to protect himself, the water in his lungs missed the automatic suck and felt like he wasn’t breathing at all, he was drowning in everything she was and represented. How lower he had to reach to be enough?

“Orm,” she called his name as a firm song from the Fishermen, tenting to a side, speeding to enter the cell and hovering by this presence. It was a clue for every guard and Atlanna withdraw for privacy. He still couldn’t believe she was in his front, judging his defeat as the rest of his people was, the disgrace he had fallen into, the strongest burden any could carry.

He retracted without noticing, to the corner, head low, his voice tried to get out, ask her if she had any pity left for him, she would leave. Melancholy, his legs curled, and he knelt on the floor, cheek resting on the surface, not capable of looking into her direction. Her shadow engulfed his being demonstrating she was not leaving, her soft hands came soon later, to his face, the palms pulling gently his cheek back. When Orm felt the scales of her attire on his face, realised it was true, relived the nights and nights her chambers were an escape, and before he knew, his eyes closed in a sob, his hands implored around her, grasped her hips, clutching closer, supporting his weight on her stomach, where he ultimately cried, tears mixing in the ocean.

Y/N hugged his head, caring, letting him lament all his lost, to assume him that, in the end, there was still hope.

#orm marius x reader #king orm x reader #orm marius #king orm #orm marius imagine #aquaman #dc #dceu #gabs writing #finally

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nikvs-blog · 5 years

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pov rp: i try to wink at u but i close both eyes like jinsoul in this gif <3 SBJDWBDJWBDJ hello im xan im 22 & from the est timezone i use she / her pronouns & ur watching disney channel. is this super late ? yea...but thats super on brand for me its fine its fun its sexy so * jugkook vc* let’s get it !

— jung jinsoul. she/her. cis female. | was that niko seo i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a waitress, but i’ve always just seen them scribbling poetry on napkins. they live in 3A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of making wishes on falling stars, silk ribbons adorning messy ponytails, and breakfast at midnight.

BACKSTORY

so miss niko was born in a teeny tiny suburban town in north carolina to a pair of young high school sweethearts ! unfortunately her mom passed away during childbirth so it was a very bittersweet arrival into the world for baby niko

her dad was a mechanic who never made it to college since his girlfriend got pregnant towards the end of their senior year. they got married before niko was born though because they were pretty serious abt raising her right but they never really got the chance to /: but her dad loved his job he loved working with cars & it was something his own dad did before him plus it was a job the town really valued since it was so tiny ( u really only needed one of everything )

when i say tiny i mean everyone knows everyone tiny. growing up the town kinda pitied niko bc of her mom dying so to compensate everyone kinda tried to do their part in raising her ! her neighbors were just as much of a parent to her as her own dad was, and everyone had stories abt her mom so niko kinda appreciated how small the town was.....sometimes

that changed as she got older ! when she started high school her dad kinda entered a rough patch & started drinking more with his buddies, started working less, and niko started getting calls from the sheriff at 2 am like “hey we’re gonna keep ur dad for the night he didnt do anything crazy but he got a little too drunk u can pick him up tomorrow” sort of thing

she was there for him every time but it got kinda overwhelming knowing everyone was in her family's business & how much kids would gossip at school or adults would give her sad looks

basically she kinda just....became very disillusioned with her reality & began to realize no one around her was really.....happy or had big dreams and their entire lives revolved around this tiny town which scared her

but also ? it had started becoming her life, too. she was voted prom queen senior year, she had a job at a diner where the same people ate everyday, she’d been dating the same boy for four years and everyone talked about how they’d probably get married soon. she’d become exactly like everyone else without even realizing it....she didnt have some big dream.....she didnt even have plans for college she was just so stuck

and then disaster hit the summer after she graduated high school. her dad had crashed right into a tree on a rainy night trying to drive home after a night out drinking & died on impact. the news honestly didnt feel real to her until her grandparents were helping her clear out her house so she could come move in with them

which is when she finds her mom’s old diary ! and boy was that thing . fat & juicy ... it had all four years worth of her mom’s high school years inside and niko became ...obsessed with it. all she did that summer her dad died was read her mom’s old diary learning more abt the woman from those pages than she ever had from the mouths of everyone in her town

thats how she found out her mom had always dreamed of moving to some city like seattle and starting this new life once she found out she was pregnant with niko ! so niko was like ok this has to be a sign....told her grandparents she loved them but she couldnt stay in north carolina.....and boop ! she pretty much disappeared from the town, didnt tie up any lose ends ( including her bf of four years who she was kinda engaged to ? JSDBJBDJ ) because she just had to leave that bad.

cue a scene on bus with niko looking out the window as some dramatic song abt new beginnings plays . JSDBJSBDJW seattle was truly her new start at 18 ... and all she wanted to do was just ... reinvent herself

so she did ! first thing she did was get a job as a waitress bc uh ur girl was BROKE broke but she knew she was good at serving. the first year was.....pretty rough there’s no sugar coating it niko was struggling bad, probably living in some questionable apartment when she wasnt coach hopping at her coworker’s places. despite all this she was....insanely happy she really believed ( and still does ) seattle is magic !

she was working at a diner ironically, just like she had been back home, but this diner changed her life about a two years ago. one day one of her regulars ( a very well off lawyer who worked downtown ) told her she was way too pretty and charming to be serving at a place like this & that he had a buddy who owned an upscale restaurant near his job downtown & that he could probably get niko a job there if she wanted

so she was like UH hell yes....showed up the next day at this fancy restaurant, charmed the pants off the owner, and the rest ? is history ! she moved into hideaways a bit after getting this new job & has been there ever since <3

PERSONALITY + TIDBITS

personality wise niko is kinda ....hard to figure out. she doesnt do it on purpose, she’s just still learning about who she is and what she really wants. back home in north carolina she was kind of the small town golden girl, loved by everyone type of deal but also very romanticized by those around her ??? ppl thought she was brilliant and knew so much about everything when the truth was she just knew a little about a lot. she would read to escape the suburban boredom of her reality & took a special interest in things like art and poetry and astronomy. shes the type to want to share the stuff she’s learned with those around her

in seattle since no one knew her the way they did back home, niko decided she wanted to keep it that way. because of this and because shes so hesitant to talk about her family sometimes she can come across as mysterious but she’s a surprisingly open person !! she’s naturally super curious and friendly and she’s found it really helps to be the kind of person people want to get to know and trust when working in the service industry. she’s got the type of aura about her that makes you feel as if maybe you’ve known her forever, even if she’s only told you one thing about herself ( which is often the case) . can probably make anyone feel at home within five minutes of talking to her & you won’t even realize how she’s doing it. her boss swears she’s charming enough to sell honey to a bee !

she’s also got a flighty side though that comes out when you get too close. niko’s great at relationships when they aren’t deep, but the moment you start and figure her out and see past the smiley walls she’s got up she recoils fast. in a way she’s terrified of anyone knowing too much about her because she’s scared that once they do they’ll pity her, and niko can’t stand being pitied. she’s also super good at dishing out affection but not so good at receiving it. the type to fall in love then right back out of love in one day. kinda a heart breaker bc of this but she doesn't mean to be, she just gets infatuated kinda easily & isn’t very good at keeping things serious ever since literally running away from her long-time ex in north carolina JSBCSJBDJW

some fun facts: she wants to get a cat and name it cat so bad but she’s not sure she’d be a good pet mom so she just settles for petting stray cats in public. 100% that weirdo crouching in the street making kissy noises because she saw a cat and wants to pet it. she can name just about every constellation & loves to sit outside and look at the stars on clear nights, usually while smoking a joint . she’s a hardcore lightweight .... im talking one tequila shot and she’s floored ... two glasses of wine and she’s taking her top off then crying kinda deal like she CANNOT handle her liquor so she tries to keep partying to a minimum. she’s got a collection of napkins from work were people have scribbled their phone numbers onto as well as a collection of napkins niko herself has scribbled on. she mostly writes poems and sometimes she even leaves a napkin with a poem on it behind at a table like a little gift for whoever sits there next. she’s probably always writing poems for all her friends or infatuations so if you’re in her life....you’ve gotten one at some point !

the only thing she brought with her from north carolina were all her records. she’s got a pretty extensive collection that ranges from donna summer to louis armstrong to led zeppelin & when she finally got a record player of her own in seattle it was probably the best day of her life <3 she really likes to watch scary movies but also they scare her so bad so it’s a cycle of oh yes lets watch this.....fuck why did i do that.....im sleeping with the lights on rinse & repeat. she really likes to cook ! she learned at a pretty early age out of necessity but now she does it for her own pleasure also because of her growing interest / knowledge in the restaurant industry. her wardrobe is 95% thrifted and 5% stolen from miscellaneous people ( her dad, old boyfriends, hookups, friends, etc. ) is a notorious hoodie thief so dont lend her yours......

and this is WAY too long im.....so sorry this literally always happens aha <3 yes i ramble but thats bc . i have a lot to say and i also have a lot of love to give ! spare some plots ? we can im on tumblr but i am 100% easier to reach on discord @ EL i love u 💖✨🌙#8172 so hit me up there & lets get this show on the road baby !

#╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc !#lets not talk abt how long or late this is .... x #JDSBJBDJWBJDW i got carried away perhaps didnt even wanna start adding wanted connections this is already so much 2 read </3 #niko is.....my baby im so excited for her and so excited for this rp so plot with me perhaps ? hehe...#hide.intro

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onlyjihoons · 6 years

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diamond in the rough; p.j.h

request: anon asked: hello! can i please have a bestfriends to lovers imagine? angst but a happy ending hehe// wait! about my bestfriends to lovers request, i think i forgot to add the member hehe jihoon pleaseeee thanks again! have a nice day xx

a/n; i combined your request with an idea of mine, i hope you dont mind^^ special thanks to dain(@pinksausageduo) and tina(@whatabrightplace) for helping me out,, not forgetting allison(@pwjins), sarah(@day6euphoria), xuan(@hwinkinghwi)and rissa(@hwangminn)! y’all might not have helped much but it meant the world to me and rescued me from the ditch,, i love you guys

and im sorry iris @101mess i didnt manage to do up 10 fics:’)

starting line: “Don’t touch me.”

synopsis: you never believed in falling for your best friend, until one confesses, in the most shocking way possible

warnings: uhh mild language sliiight steam and nothing else everything’s at pg dw

genre: mafia!jihoon,, angst and fluff

masterlist//requests are open

"Hey babe," Jihoon slings his arm around your shoulder, "I heard the first class is Economics, and we have it together,"

You shrugged Jihoon's arm away, walking a few steps ahead of him, "Stop calling me babe, its annoying, and your stupid winkies would haunt me for it too." Jihoon. Your best friend since the 3rd year of middle school, your wingman, your #1 supporter. You were there with him since his awkward emo stage, and now that he became an extremely handsome individual. The friendship didn't change despite Jihoon looking better, but he has a hoard of girls, who named themselves winkies, chasing after him at his every whim. You didn't care much about them, since theyre chasing after false hope. But you were indeed afraid of them, you saw how they bullied a girl Jihoon helped out on her first day of school, and they only stopped when Jihoon intervened. Now, not that Jihoon was a fuckboy or anything, although the ambience he carries says otherwise. A true tsundere, Jihoon is more than he seems below his looks. Sometimes however, he could be cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and the opposite on some days. Knowing Jihoon's personality fairly well, you never phantomed that your best friend would fall for you. Jihoon had his fair share of pretty friends, and you just looked like someone to complement him in pictures. You did develop a crush on Jihoon during the first year you met him, but your hopes to only be crushed when Jihoon started gushing over the prettiest girl in the cohort. They did become an item eventually, but young Jihoon's heart to be broken only a week after finding out his girlfriend lost interest in him. He turned to you, his best friend, which resulted in movie night, accompanied by lots of ice cream. As the both of you grew, Jihoon's heart grew bigger for you as well. He seemed to realise that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not just visual beauty. You, his best friend, was there with him through thick and thin, better or worse. He slowly started to grow fond of the two dimples that adorned you when you smiled, and how attractive you were when you were extremely focused on a task. If anyone were to glance at Jihoon staring at you, the entire galaxy could be seen in his brown orbs, bursting with affection. What a pity, you couldn't see it.

And what you didn’t know, was Jihoon’s involvement with the 101 mafia.

The 101 mafia was notorious for money laundering, and gang fights. The neighbourhood you lived in was the 101’s turf, any other rival gang that went up against them will end up in shambles, and a free trip to the hospital.

You knew of the 101, but you didn’t really involve yourself in those matters(what an irony though, jihoon was your best friend) as your GPA was much more important than finding a boyfriend or getting into fights.

In school, Jihoon was the stellar student, straight As, cocoa hair in a neat but slightly dishivelled fashion, uniform neatly ironed. However, during his “duties”, school jihoon would be thrown in the gutter, the boy would sport a black leather jacket, milky white forehead exposed below his gelled up fringe. Having a black belt in taekwondo, Jihoon was one of 101’s most valuable assets.

Hence, many girls have their eyes on Mr. Sweet but Strong guy, including one of the leaders of the Fantagio mafia, Choi Yoojung.

Jihoon used to be part of the Fantagio mafia, until the mafia disbanded for a short while. They wanted Jihoon back, but he was in a much stronger mafia than their own. Yoojung was friends with Jihoon during his time in Fantagio, and inevitably caught feelings for the doe-eyed mafia member.

Alas, she couldn’t confess to him as Jihoon left Fantagio sooner than she expected, and the underlying feelings never left. She had made a point and a swear to herself that she would do anything to let Jihoon be single, even if it means to harm the people closest to him.

During economics class, Jihoon kept throwing playful winks at your direction, messing with both your mind and heart. You were used to it though, but Jihoon was exceptionally flirtatious today. You rolled your eyes at him, gesturing your finger to his textbook, mouthing "pay attention".

Jihoon did quite the opposite, dragging his table and chair beside you, then settling himself down with a plop.

"What are you doing?" You whispered, seeing a few classmates turning their head at the commotion.

"Shifting my seat to a more comfortable position," Jihoon shrugged, "It's really hot there, I don't like it."

"It's literally minus thirty degrees outside, Jihoon," You tried to direct your attention back to the economics textbook ,"stand outside if you want."

"Miss Y/N and Mr Jihoon, are you done?" Your economics teacher warned, tapping her book on the teachers' desk, "Leave your sweet talk outside of the classroom, not during my class."

You already feel a couple of glares directed at you, not because of your talking, but because of your interaction with Jihoon. There were quite a few winkies in your economics class, and they are constantly vying for the seat beside Jihoon. However, Jihoon being himself, he would always shift to the seat beside you, as the girls' faces would turn into a scowl. Today was no different, but worse when the teacher openly lectured both you and Jihoon as a pair.

You lowered your head in embarrassment, not wanting to face the wrath of Jihoon’s stupid winkies after class. Before you could shift your seat, a slip of paper was pressed underneath your textbook.

Don’t be too upset, hmm? I can’t bear to see my best friend like this:( I’ll wait for you in the music room during recess with waffles. And strawberry milk.

-JH

Your heart warmed at the message, your mood instantly lifted as you listened attentively for the rest of class.

“Dont stop me,” Yoojung seethed, as she pried Mark’s hand away from her shoulders.

“Hey, it’s not right to hurt someone because of your crush on Jihoon,” Mark reasoned, standing in front of her, “and what’s worse, she’s his best friend. Can you imagine how much he’s gonna hate you for hurting her? That’s just not putting the situation in your favour.”

“Do I look like I care?” Yoojung folded her arms, “I have been practically been with Jihoon since he was like fourteen and I know him better than she does.”

“Actually, she has known him since middle—“

“Ok, whatever.” Yoojung rolled her eyes, pushing the frail 127 mafia member out of her way, “I do what I want.”

Jihoon was a man of his words indeed, the boy was seated at the piano seat, two brown paper bags and two bottles of strawberry milk perched atop of the grand piano. Though, he wasn’t playing the piano. He was busy tapping on his mobile phone, presumably some mobile game he was involved in.

You creeped up to Jihoon, then thrusting your hands on his shoulders. The boy let out a yelp, nearly dropping his phone. When he saw that it was you, he placed his palm over his chest, scrunching his nose.

“You scared me,” Jihoon huffed, palm still clutching on his chest, “I thought you were one of the winkies or something.”

You shrugged, taking one of the paper bags and sitting beside Jihoon, “What game were you playing just now? You seemed engrossed.”

Jihoon’s eyes shifted, as he cleared his throat, “Uhh, Mobile Legends.”

“Really?” You quirked your eyebrows, reaching for his phone, “Teach me how to play, I wanna be a cool gamer dude like you too.”

Before you could touch his phone, Jihoon snatched his phone back, raising it up above his head. You frowned, as Jihoon stuck his tongue out.

“What’s wrong with trying to learn how to play games?” You pouted, “I don’t get why you’re so defensive.”

“N—no, it’s just...”

“Hmm?”

“I—“

You pulled Jihoon’s hand down towards you, as you snatched his phone back in victory, your back facing against him as you tried to unlock his phone.

“Yah! Give it back to me!” Jihoon tried to get his phone back, as you finally managed to unlock his phone.

His password? Your birthday.

What surprised you even more was his homescreen, it was a picture of the both of you, during middle school graduation.

“How cute, tsundere Jihoon having our picture as his wallpaper?” You cooed, “We were even so uncool back then.”

“Now you have seen it,” Jihoon tried to grip his phone, “give it back to me.”

“Why?” You teased, “Do you have a girlfriend that I don’t know about?”

“Actually,” Jihoon’s face inched closer to yours, making your heart accelerate at a very fast pace, “I’ve been thinking about this for a really long time, and its also the reason I asked you to come here for.”

“W—what is it?” You stuttered, not used to the proximity of your bodies.

“Y/N, I—“Before Jihoon could complete his sentence, the incessant vibrating of his mobile phone interrupted him, making him curse under his breath as he picked up the call.

“Hello—What?!” Jihoon furrowed his brows, then scrunching up his hair in frustration, “Ok. Make sure you keep a lookout for me.”

With that, he hung up the phone, and looked into your eyes, “Look, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I have to leave now. Something urgent cropped up, and I have to be there.”

You bit your lip, as you forced out a smile, “It’s fine. Just go.”

Jihoon squeezed your hand, as he left you alone in the music room, two waffles and strawberry milk untouched.

“Hey,” you hear someone call out to you, as you pulled out your earphones. It was the president of the winkies, Yoojin.

You stared at her blankly, as she scoffs, “You really don’t know where to draw the line, don’t you?”

You frowned, not understanding anything she said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Yoojin.”

“It’s Jihoon that I’m talking about,” She folded her arms, “Stop being so close to him.”

“What?”

You couldn’t believe your ears, are the winkies really coming at you for something so petty?

“Can’t you see? The oh-so-tough 101 mafia member is so smitten for you, his world revolves around you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, looks like his bestest friend doesn’t know,” Yoojin snickered, along with her other winkies, “Yes, your Jihoon is part of the 101 mafia. A prized one in fact. He doesn’t have a black belt in taekwondo for nothing.”

You were currently in disbelief, thinking that the winkies would do anything in their way to break the both of you up. You knew Jihoon was rumoured to be in the mafia, but he was too good of a student to be part of it. Besides, you were his best friend. He would tell you everything, right?

“I can show you his picture if you want—“ Yoojin’s phone went flying across the floor, glass fragments littering the concrete floor of the classroom.

“I can’t believe you stooped this low to get Jihoon,” Yoojung shook her head as she stepped on Yoojin’s brand new iPhone X, “even a baby wouldn’t believe your words.”

“Choi Yoojung!” She screamed, but no one showed sympathy to her as she picked up her now shattered phone, “Look what you’ve done!”

“What I have done?” Yoojung laughed, “Stopping another uncultured swine from spreading rumours, no?”

The whole class burst into whispers, as Yoojung pulled you by your wrist out of the classroom.

“Look, I don’t normally do this but, I’m sorry.” Yoojung bowed, as she gave you a cup of water.

“What for?” You were puzzled, immediately helping Yoojung up.

“I wanted to harm you...” Yoojung’s head hung low, “and I really shouldn’t because of a stupid crush.”

“Harm me for what?” You laughed, hugging an almost crying Yoojung.

“I wanted to harm you for getting close to my crush, you are really too nice.” Yoojung sniffed.

“Ok, tell me who’s your crush, I’ll help you.” You smiled, as Yoojung shook her head.

“It’s Jihoon,” Your face momentararily stiffens, “and I guess its time to get over him as well.”

“H-hey,” You stuttered, “I can help you, he’s my best friend.”

“No, I can’t.” Yoojung shook her head, “Jihoon has someone else in mind already.”

You slouched, patting Yoojung’s back, “I’m so sorry to hear that, Yoojung.”

“and he has his 101 stuff to handle too, I feel bad to add on to his work load...”

“Wait, 101?” You frowned, “as in the 101 mafia?”

“Jihoon is in the— oh you’re not supposed to know.” Yoojung scratched her head, then standing up, “I’m sorry and thank you.”

“No, Yoojung, wait!” You tugged on her jacket, “what am I not supposed to know?”

“N—nothing.” Yoojung tried to wriggle out of your grasp, but can’t under your iron grip.

“If you’re really sorry, then tell me about it.”

Yoojung sighed, “Alright, fine. Jihoon is in the 101 mafia, and I’m not joking. He really is in the mafia and is one of the most valued members because of his ability to do well both in school and work.”

Yoojung saw your doubtful eyes, as she whipped out her phone and showed you a picture of the 101 mafia, “Here’s Jihoon,” she zoomed into one of the members in the centre, seated right beside a silver haired man, “he looks different, doesn’t he?”

Jihoon indeed looked different, a boyish smirk stitched on his handsome features, hair all gelled up and a black leather jacket that had “101” imprinted on the left breast pocket. You couldn’t believe it, as his best friend, you had asked him many times about him and the 101. Of course, Jihoon denied it and waved it off with a charming smile, making you forget all about it.“He was in Fantagio before he joined 101,”

Yoojung sighed as she locked her phone, “And I guess that was when I started developing a crush on him.”

The both of you shared a moment of silence, as Yoojung stood up again, “I know this is a little too much for you to take in, but just so you know, I’m always active on Kakao, so just text me whenever.”

You and Yoojung were more than acquaintances, but little less than friends. You didn’t really know the petite girl well before, but now, you were guessing that you have earned yourself a new friend.

30 minutes earlier

“Jihoon,” Mark gasped over the phone, “Yoojung is going to do something to Y/N.”

“Hello—What?!” Jihoon furrowed his brows, then scrunching up his hair in frustration, “Ok. Make sure you keep a lookout for me.”

Mark sighed, as he slumped into the abandoned desk chair, right outside the music room.

A angry Yoojung carrying a bottle of 500ml Hershey’s chocolate sauce was seen stomping to Jihoon’s class, as she wanted to take revenge on Y/N by pouring the gooey sauce on the girl’s chair. A horrid prank, one would say, but this was no feat to the Fantagio mafia member.

“Yoojung!” She heard someone call out to her, as she froze, and quickly hid the bottle in her uniform jacket.

“Where are you going?” the voice belonged to her crush, Jihoon, who had his hands nonchantly tucked into the pant pockets.

“I was just, going to the toilet,” Yoojung lied, preparing to run off anytime soon.

“But the toilet is the other way, isn’t it?” Jihoon pointed to the opposite direction where Yoojung was headed. She cursed in her head, knowing she was going to get found out.

“So, what were you doing with a bottle of chocolate syrup?” Jihoon pointed at the awkward bulge in her uniform jacket.

She bit her lip, not knowing what to say.

“Are you going to mess up Y/N’s stuff with it?” Jihoon raised his eyebrows.

“Jihoon reading everyone’s mind like a fortune teller, as expected,” Yoojung laughed humourlessly, “Yes, I wanted to mess up Y/N’s seat with it. Why? Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not.” Jihoon shook his head, “I’m just disappointed that my friend would sabotage someone I like through something childish.”

Yoojung hung her mouth open in shock, seeing a different side of Jihoon, where did the 101 Jihoon go?

“I thought at least you could help me a little with this crush thing, because you have been in a relationship before,” Jihoon explained, then smiled grimly, “and also because I want you to get over me. It’s not worth it, Yoojung, imagine if your boss finds out you’re dating someone from the 101, you’ll be in trouble, you know that?”

Yoojung hung her head low, sighing, Jihoon was always right, and doing something childish over her jealousy was just really immature.

“Then what about Y/N?” She shot back, “She’s not even involved in anything, what if the rival mafias find out about her? What will you do? Will you protect her?”

“Yes, I will protect her.” Jihoon refuted, “I have even told Daniel about it already. At least she is just someone I like, my best friend, trying to get good grades like how normal teenagers do. But Yoojung, I’m sorry but I only see you as a good friend. Someone I can turn to despite not being from Fantagio anymore.”

Yoojung was now stunned, Jihoon was no longer the immature fourteen year old she met in Fantagio, picking fights at every disagreement. Now, Jihoon has the ability to talk people through reasoning, heck, his face was not helping at all.

“Well then, what do you want me to do?” Yoojung folded her arms.

“Just, don’t try to harm Y/N anymore, and never let her know about my involvement in the 101. Promise?” Jihoon held out his pinky finger.

Yoojung smiled, “We’re still at it now?”

Jihoon nodded, still holding out his finger.

“Promise.”

Just as you thought your day was going well, Jihoon ditching you, the encounter with the winkies and Jihoon’s involvement with the 101 made it all worse. Thank goodness you didn’t have any other classes with Jihoon for the rest of the day, at least, that would give you a good reason to avoid him.

Or so you thought.

Right after your last lesson, you spotted Jihoon waiting right outside your class, tapping his foot to an unknown beat.

You rolled your eyes, as you walked past him as if he was invisible. You soon heard footsteps chasing after you, your first instinct was to run.

It wasn’t long until Jihoon caught up with you, as he pulled on your backpack.“Why are you running away from me?” Jihoon panted, “It has been long since I ran after a girl, you know.”

“I don’t think I’m worth running after,” You replied grimly.

Jihoon’s face immediately fell, then placed both of his hands on your shoulders, “Hey, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything right?”

“But you don’t tell me anything,” You felt tears stinging your eyes, “How long were you going to keep from me that you’re from the 101?”

Jihoon kept silent, shaking his head, “No, Y/N—“

You shrugged his hands away, “Why did you deny something that I will find out eventually? Calling yourself my best friend, I don’t think you’re doing a good job at that.”

You then walked off, tears streaming down your face.

“Hey, you’re crying as if your boyfriend cheated on you,” Yeri peeled open the 5th triangle kimbap, handing it to you, “it’s not that bad, Jihoon can protect you!”

“Protect me from what?” You sniffed, taking a huge bite, “his lies?”

“H-hey, he’s your best friend after all, calm down on the roasting, will you?” Yeri laughed nervously, then looking at her wrist watch, “Crap, I’m almost late for cram school. I’m sorry I can’t be with you till your tears dry up Y/N, but you owe me one for 5 triangle kimbaps and 7 bottles of banana milk.”

You sighed as you watch your best friend run off to the nearest bus stop outside the convinience store, slumping in your seat. Staring at the 4 kimbap wrappings and 6 empty bottles of banana milk, you sighed again. Why were you such a glutton when you were sad?

Even though it was only 5pm, the sky was pitch black, tiny stars dotting the sky. During the winter, it was common that the evenings would look like nights, darkening the path to home.You were glad that the estate you lived in had brightly lit lamp posts to guide your way home, but there were a few dodgy corners you had to get past in order to get home. Nonetheless, you never had any encounter with anybody you didn’t want to see.

Until today.

You walked the same route back home like you do everyday, safely passing by the most dodgy looking corners of the route. That night felt especially cold, sending shivers down your spine despite having 4 layers of clothing on.

While you passed the last corner, you let out a sigh of relief, thinking that you got through, until a hand covered your mouth and reeled you backwards.

Your first instinct was to scream, but the stranger’s big hands muffled most of your screams. You also tried to wriggle out of the stranger’s grasp, but they were too strong for you.

“You bitch,” You heard him mutter, “How dare you mess with my sister’s boyfriend!”

“I don’t even know your sister!” You panicked, slowly taking out your phone to dial for the police.

“You are such a liar, aren’t you?” He laughed menacingly, “Park Jihoon is Yoojin’s boyfriend, stop making him cheat on her!”

You finally managed to escape from the man’s grasp, then breathing heavily, “Jihoon doesn’t even like Yoojin, she’s nothing but a delusional bitch who chases after false hope!”

“What did you say?” The man seethed, taking out a pocket knife, hands quivering in anger.

“I said, Yoojin is—“

Before you could complete your sentence, the man was beat to the ground, groaning in pain. Behind the man was Jihoon, not in school uniform but in his leather jacket.

“Idiocy runs the family, eh?” Jihoon smirked, kicking the penknife away, “Like brother, like sister. Dumb and dumber.”

“You seem to be everywhere, Park Jihoon.” The man huffed, dusting himself as he got up.

“Didn’t your boss teach you not to screw up in others’ turfs?” Jihoon spat, “Yoohyun.”

Yoohyun sent a punch to Jihoon, which the latter skillfully avoided, and twisted the older boy’s arm and flung him to the ground. You gasped at the sight, not used to seeing this side of your best friend.

“Y/N!” Jihoon hugged your weak frame, “Are you alright?”

“I’m f—fine—Behind you!” You pulled Jihoon towards you, behind him was a charging Yoohyun, penknife in hand.

Jihoon dodged the penknife, but too close a proximity that the blade slightly grazed the young boy’s cheeks, leaving a cut. He ignored it, as the continued throwing kicks and punches to the older boy. You could only watch in sheer shock and fear, not knowing what Yoohyun would do next.

After a few punches and kicks, Yoohyun was beat to a pulp, purple bruises on his arms, legs and face. He cowardly limped away from the both of you, muttering a string of curse words under his breath.

You examined Jihoon carefully, the bloody red cut screaming contrast to his milky white skin, red bruise forming at the corner of his plump lips, brown hair moist and dishevelled, eyes still showing signs of rage. You shook your head, as you dragged him by his wrist, back to your home.

“Where are you bringing me to?” Jihoon asked, enjoying you holding his wrist too much.

“To treat your stupid wounds, you gangster.” You rolled your eyes, reaching your doorstep in a matter of minutes.

You were thankful that your parents were working overtime for today, or they would question why you brought a beaten-up Jihoon home. You lazily jiggled the key into the keyhole, then kicking off your school shoes to a corner. Jihoon followed suit, taking off his jacket and putting it neatly on the clothesrack next to the door.

“You can eat whatever,” You waved to the kitchen, “there is cold water in the fridge too, if it helps.”

As Jihoon watched your figure disappear into your room, he groaned as he got up from the sofa, shuffling to the kitchen to get himself a bottle of water. He gulped down the water quickly, letting out a gasp of satisfaction after finishing the bottle.

“I didn’t know you could fight,” You broke the silence in the house, “you do fight well.”

Jihoon turned around, to be met with your petite figure drowned in a oversized pink and white stripped shirt, hair tied up in a messy bun, complete with a pair of white bunny slippers on your feet. He choked on his saliva, as you frantically ran over to him to pat his back to soothe the cough.

“Do you want me to change? You seem...shocked, as if you have never seen me before.” You stifiled your laughter, patting his back.

“N—no, you’re fine. You look cute.” Jihoon unknowingly spat out, blush reaching his cheeks after realising what he just said.

You shrugged, retriving the first aid kit from the bottom drawers of the island, plopping yourself on the sofa, patting the seat next to you. Jihoon obediently sat there, as you swung your legs on the sofa, resting it above Jihoon’s legs.

“You know, I can’t be with you forever to treat your wounds,” You nagged as you dabbed some disinfectant cream on the cut, “I’m not your maid, you know.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And you can’t be always fighting,” You frowned as you dabbed some saline solution, “fighting is bad.”

The both of you then sat in comfortable silence, Jihoon occasionally wincing in pain as the disinfectant came in contact with his wound. You were too engrossed in trying to treat Jihoon that you didn’t notice that your face was dangerously close to his, close enough for Jihoon to lightly place a peck on your lips.

Jihoon’s heart was beating wildly, even though his brain told him otherwise. He was conflicted wheter to confess to you or to kiss you, he was afraid that either would end badly.

“Screw this,” Jihoon huffed, grabbing your wrist, closing in the gap between your lips.You were surprised, but slowly got used to it as he moved his lips with a little more force, moulding against yours. You gasped as his teeth tugged slightly on your lower lip, you could feel him smirk against your lips.i need holy water The both of you eventually pulled away after a good 20 seconds, gasping for air.

Jihoon pecked your lips softly one more time, brown eyes looking straight into yours, “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell and trust you with my secret, I just didn’t want you to view me differently after I told you about it. I wanted to confess to you earlier on but I was interrupted, so, uh...”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Jihoon looked at you with hopeful eyes, gleaming under the ceiling light.

You hugged your now-boyfriend as you nodded, “Of course I would be your girlfriend, you idiot.”

#wanna one scenarios #park jihoon scenarios #park jihoon #wanna one #holy shit i died like ten times in my death writing this #im sorry jihoon i love you

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touchitbaekhyun · 7 years

Text

QUERENCIA | HONG JISOO

querencia - (n.) a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

You honestly dont even know how you never noticed. Out of literally nowhere, a guy randomly pops up, acting like your absolute dream man.

Having so many things in common with you and acting as if he's known you, your entire whole life.

Making you think he simply appreciated every thing you were, by the way he'd capture every single little thing you'd say or do.

And just over all, instantly creating a bond with you.

Becoming your rock and support after all you had been going through at the time. Going from being a girl without a family who'd get bullied day in and out at school, to becoming someones main priority, their everything, made you fall instantly in love.

He would always be ready to hear you out on whatever matter need it be. Taking you out for ice cream every time you'd tell him you were feeling anxious or upset.

Standing up for you whenever people would trash talk you over at school. Staying always by your side, making you feel accompanied always, in contrast to how you'd be alone before, and without anyone to even speak to.

In other words,he’d just succeed in making you feel like the most prized possession on the face of the earth. He made you feel like the happy and perfect heroine of a cheesy romance novel.

How he'd oh so beautifully, dedicate poems to you, or could go on hours talking about how gorgeous you were and how attached he had become to being with you, all the time.

Leaping you off of your feet, every single time he'd flash you that smile of his.

Only after a mere month of knowing each other, he had declared his everlasting love for you in front of the entire lunch, letting people all around know someone finally cared and loved you at last.

For you however, at that moment, the timing was perfect. You thought you weren't rushed into things at all, feeling like you knew him inside and out and wanted to be able to call him yours as soon as possible.

A few months after and you had both graduated, making you start work, in order to get enough money for college.When you started your job you began becoming busier than ever and yet he'd still be there.

No matter at what time you'd finish whether it was one in the afternoon or one in the morning, he couldn't care less and would instantly be at your home waiting for you, always a small gift in hand.

At some point, you were even ready to jump out and marry him if he asked the question. Thinking you were both madly in love and that the sooner you were married, the better.

Your new made co workers, would always tell you how surreal he acted. How they wished they had someone like him in their lives.

Others, would tell you things were going far too fast. That nothing good would have ever come out of a relationship that was built on overnight.

But you brushed them off, because you couldn't explain the butterflies going on in your stomach every time he'd look at you or simply talked to you.

Or even the feeling you'd get every time you'd wake up and see him there laying beside you, hands wrapped around your waist. You couldn't trust those people you would tell yourself, those who'd say It was far too good to happen truthfully.

You would just call them jealous, you'd say they just wanted to break your special bond, so they'd talk and talk to make you question his love for you.

Oh how awfully wrong were you. He had succeeded, definitely, but not in being the best man in the world, or being the perfect boyfriend. He had succeeded in stealing your heart, with the cruelest of intentions behind it.

You found out one day, when you overheard him talking on the phone.

“Its almost been a year, how long do you think I'm going to keep this act up? Its been fun and all but I have a life I need to attend to, my actual life, away from here. One where I don't need to pretend I'm in ‘love’ with a random girl you paid me to be with. Plus she's getting extremely annoying. Im through with this act. I’ll just leave soon, without a word. She’ll be crushed as you wanted, so I'm done here.”

You can't even begin to describe the pain you felt in your heart in that moment. Your entire body felt completely and utterly numb.

Your boyfriend, had been paid from the very start to be with you. To somehow leave you in the end broken.

You wanted to go over there and slap him until your hands would feel like falling off, punch him, scream at him. Ask him why he'd ever hurt you.

But you couldn't, you couldn't even comprehend why someone would be so heartless enough as to do what he, and the person he was on the phone with, did to you.

You waited, until he left, and then you waited even more for the perfect timing, to somehow get back what little dignity you had left.

You somehow during that week, discovered who had set this all up. You had gotten his phone while he was on the shower and had looked through his messages, hidden within all of his texts was one with the rich obnoxious guy who had bullied you, all throughout high school.

The same guy who supposedly, your ‘boyfriend’ had helped you stand up to. You could have never imagined them being friends or even talking to eachother.

Scrolling through the messages however, you noticed they were awfully close and saw how they'd talk abut you, making you seem literally even less valuable than trash.

You waited two more days, seeing as you still needed to overthink a plan perfect enough to pay for what they had done to you, most importantly, what he had done.

Today, is finally the day you're getting you're revenge on Jisoo.

You carefully stand up from the bed, looking to your right side at the bathroom door, making sure he's still showering, in order to not get yourself caught. You softly move onto the closet, the place where you had seen him store his money in, whenever he'd think you were asleep.

Standing up on your tippy toes, you grab onto the top shelfs black and get a shining gold shoe box, opening it to reveal what you could guess is easily more than fifty thousand dollars, you quietly gasp, as you never thought there'd be this much money hidden in here.

You quickly grab the money, and head on over to your bed, where underneath, a big suit case is hidden. You've been preparing the suit case with all your must have items.

So far, you had a bundle of clothing, bathroom care items, your makeup bag and a few perfumes. You throw the money inside and make sure to cover it up with a t-shirt as you lock the suit case and grab your car keys which were by the kitchen, rapidly going to your car, you ended up grabbing the suit case by its handle, and throwing it on the back seat.

You then make your way inside. Only to be greeted by an amused Jisoo, whom sat at the kitchen table, looking at you questionably as he seems to be surprised you were up and hadn't told him you were doing something so early as you'd always tell him even the silliest of things just to keep him in the know.

“You thought you had me all figured out didnt you?” you say, as you move toward him, looking up at him with nothing other than despise in your eyes.

“You know, I always thought you were perfect. But now looking back, I realize ever since the very start you were far too ‘perfect’ to be even begin to be real. I literally feel so stupid for all the time that I gave you, all the time I lost, oh my god.” you say as you chuckle bitterly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Are seriously acting oblivious right now? Im talking about you, getting paid to fuck me over. Thats what I'm talking about you insensible piece of shit” you say as you slap him across the face, making the sound echo throwout the apartment.

he suddenly grabs your wrist, and looks at you deeply, with an expression so cold, that it sickens you to your stomach.

“Sweetheart, you just made the plan fail. I knew I should have left a long time ago, with my money. But now, now.. don't act so strong, we both know you definitely aren't. I've seen you at your weakest points, I've seen how truly weak you can be love, theres simply no lying to me.”

he snickers as he holds you closer, smirking coldly almost as if he's enjoyed the entire time hurting you over and over again.

You can't help but feel hate for this man standing in front of you. If accepting to do what he's done, doesn't make him a terrible enough person, the words he speaks reveal his true colors, making him seem like the biggest asshole on the planet.

“Thats where you’re wrong. Sure you have seen me at my lowest points. But that itself doesn't define me to be weak, it simply shows I was too strong for too long. Aside from that, id like to let you know, that yes, maybe you did waste the last year of my life. But you should know, I did get my payback, ‘love’ and now, it is me who feels terribly sorry for you, seeing that after this, you wont even have money to go on. I hope one day you come to realize that you are the absolute definition of scum. Oh, and one more thing. Don't. Ever. Question what I'm cable of, again.”

you say as you pull yourself out of his grip and strike him by kicking his leg, which ended up making him fall onto the floor, as you rapidly sprint toward the door, slamming it open and making your way to your car.

Opening the drivers door, you quickly get in and slam shut the door, you then push your key into ignition and lock all the doors, as you see him running out the house, screaming for his money.

When you drive off, you end up seeing him, sprinting far back behind you, trying to catch up desperately.

Making your way into the highway, you turn on the radio, to try and help you clear your mind, in order to think of where you'll be going next, now that you don't live in that apartment after this. However one things for sure...

For now, no other man will get to be your everything so easily. As of right now, you'll be your own rock, you'll be your own home.

~admin ari♡

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shielduniversityapps · 5 years

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OOC INFORMATION:

Name/ Pseudonym: cas Age: 22 Preferred Pronouns: they/them

Timezone: est

Triggers: ed’s Activity: i have a job and college but i promise to be on as much as i can. i should be able to get on everyday at least.

IC INFORMATION:

Character you’re applying for: warren worthington III Age: 25 FaceClaim: william moseley Secondary FaceClaim: (in the very rare chance there is an issue with your first choice.) will tudor Traits: (2 positive and 2 negatives.) charismatic & charitable - arrogant & shallow Reformation Stance: (Pro or Anti [ refer to this to get a better gauge on what we mean] ) Anti Is their Identity known?: No Class Standing (junior, senior, TA or professor, etc if you’re unsure click here): TA

Why do you want to play this character?: i’ve never played warren before and honestly i dont know why. hes a really interested character and a pivotal part of the original x-men. im really interested in delving into his personality and furthering his development as an x-man. Other characters you’d like to play (feel free to leave this blank. we are just curious about what you are interested in): pietro maximoff, melinda may & rocket raccon Bio: warren worthington III was born to warren worthington jr and kathryn who never expected to have a mutant as a son. being a very wealthy family, warren never spent too much time with his parents so the growth of his wings that sprouted from back at a young age wasn’t brought to their attention because he was basically raised by a maid who kept his secrets. he learned really quickly how to hide his large wings as he was sent of to boarding schools across the country. he took to being a superhero after a fire broke out at one of the boarding schools he was attending. throwing on a wig, he saved a bunch of students from the flames.

coming off the high of saving those students, he then donned a poorly homemade costume and took on the name the avenging angel. he started trying to be a superhero which caught the attention of professor x who recruited him as one his first students at his school. he was a pretty good student, he had always been but this time he was given a chance to really use his wings for good and learn how to really fight. the professor had a harness specially made for him to hold his wings down in a way that didnt cause him immense pain and let him completely blend in. after years of studying and fighting with the x-men, warren decided to give back to kids who were like him, confused and in need of help to become the heroes they were about to become. he joined shield university as a ta in hopes of really helping.

Writing Sample:

flashback - warren worthington III, age 15

the perks of having rich parents was that if he wanted a private room, he got a private room. many kids resented him because of this but he didn’t want to take any chances with his special appendages. it was hard enough to keep them a secret normally, imagine having a roommate that you were forced to change in front at some point. for a while he thought he was cursed but he didn’t know why he’d be cursed with wings and the ability to fly. usually curses were like horns and tails or like worse things like demonic possessions. he knew if he told his parents, they’d lock him away in some room in their giant house and pretend that he didn’t exist, so that he didn’t tarnish their family name. the worthingtons were a great family, they couldn’t possibly have a mutant son but here they were, with one no matter if they liked it or not - not that they ever noticed that something ever changed with him.

the young mutant stood in front of the bathroom mirror, his wings free and aching to feel the breeze of the sky against them but that was too dangerous. he turned to the side as he looked at the white feathers, blue eyes gazing down to the base of where they came out of his skin, which was starting to show bruising. he sighed as he pulled the ace bandage that he used to push them down out from a drawer. there was a method to his madness and if he didn’t do this, it was impossible to conceal his wings at all. warren wrapped the ace bandage around his wings, pulling them tight against his back. wrapping around and around until he ran out of bandage and was slightly out of breath by how tight it was. he pulled his uniform shirt over his arms, quickly putting on his cardigan and then topping it off with a slightly puffy jacket that he was allowed to wear because he lied about having a condition where he was cold all the time so the teachers wouldn’t tell him to take it off. warren looked into the mirror again, the slight bump on his back could easily be just from the puffiness of his jacket which is what he wanted people to think. another sigh escaped his lungs. he hoped there would come a day when this would end, where he could walk out into the world without going through this routine.

Extra Bits and Bobs: n/a Rule check: [ removed by mods ]

#hero #submission #accepted

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angelparentncl-blog · 6 years

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First blog post

I dont know if anyone will ever read this, im unsure if I actually want people too. This is just somewhere I thought I would jot down my idea’s and thoughts as an Angel Parent.

Before I go any further, maybe it’s best to define what I mean when I say Angel Parent. In basic terms it means my child died. Her name was Lexi Jayne and she was as real as could be, I held her in my arms and kissed her little head and fell in love with her as soon as I saw her. I didn’t used to believe in love at first sight, but since it happened to me twice (the only other time was with my wife) I guess I have no choice.

I guess maybe I should also give a bit of back story. That’s where most things start isn’t it? The beginning.

So, I was fortunate enough to meet my wife at work, I still remember when she came for her interview, she was stunning (and you still are babes if you read this). I never thought I would have a shot. You have heard the term “punching above your weight” or “well out of your league”, this was the ultimate definition of this. But after becoming friends a little romance blossomed and the next thing you knew we were together (yay go me). What followed were a lot of ups and like any relationship a couple of downs. We got married on August 5th of 2012 and our next thought was “let’s start a family”. We tried and tried for a good 4 years. We were told that in theory nothing was wrong with us so everything was to do with weight. We tried diets and our weight went up and down over the next however many years. We were still unsuccessful. We eventually blamed stress from our workplaces at the time and decided to hold off until we were in a better mental state to attempt to conceive.

This was around February 2016. We had lots to look forward too in the year ahead. We had a trip to New York planned, We were discussing a family cruise on the Disney Magic, so much was going on. We decided to be one of those couples who would just holiday for a while and come back to the baby thing later. We after all had plenty of time. Nature is a funny thing though isn’t it? It was June 2016 around the 28th to be exact. Now this may be a bit too much information here so apologies in advance. But Rachael had been having funny periods for the past 2 month, something was off and she was, understandably, concerned. We scheduled a Doctors appointment for the 30th of June to see what the hell was going on. On the 29th of June Rachael decided to do a pregnancy test JUST IN CASE. There it was, the line we had always wanted to see, it was POSITIVE. More tests were taken just to be certain and every one positive, positive, positive. We were overjoyed. We were finally extending our family.

Our next step was telling our parents. At this time my in laws were currently on a cruise, so they were unreachable. But my parents were around. I know you’re meant to wait until 12 weeks to tell people but we had waited for so long we thought, fuck tradition, lets tell people now. We bought some pacifiers and put them into a gift bag and presented them to my mum. She was, at first, confused. Until it all clicked. I don’t think I have ever seen her so happy. I then told my auntie who had the same reaction, though honestly, not as grand. Which we totally understood, she has never really been a kid person, if we got a puppy it would be so different haha. The next day my in-laws were to arrive home. We were going to pop down that evening but decided on a facetime conversation instead. I still have the pictures (im sure I will upload them soon). The tears of joy and happiness still makes me smile. Things were looking good.

As you can imagine the next few months of our lives was filled with excitement, planning, buying and obviously nerves. We went for our first scan thinking we were at 12 weeks. We were wrong, just so much anticipation, turns out we were only 8. But they checked our baby out anyway and everything was progressing nicely. Finally got our 12 week scan and could see our little baby properly for the first time. Yes she was small on the screen but features could be made out. I’m not going to lie here, tears were shed. Its one of those moments when you finally have something that you have always wanted. Your own flesh and blood on the screen in front of you. It’s something you can never prepare for. I’m sure my fellow fathers understand this. Things were now real.

Another 8 weeks later we finally get our 20 week scan. I am so nervous but excited, I get to see my child again but only this time we get to know if were having a boy or a girl. Like every father the thought of a son slightly edges in front of a daughter. I never understood why this is but it happened (on a side note the reason I mention this is because I want this blog to be fully honest, im not going to lie about feelings etc and if you think im wrong for wanting a boy, im sorry its just how it was). So we have the scan we are told it’s a girl. My wife was elated and truth be told, so was I. Yes its not going to be my boy that I will play football with etc but its going to be a girl. I came to actually liking the idea of a girl more than a boy. Just that daddy daughter bond, being wrapped around her little finger, scaring away her first dates etc. I was excited. The 20 week scan also showed us something that we didn’t expect. She had an anomaly. It was on the umbilical cord and thought to likely be a cyst but we would need further testing to be sure. We left the scan room, honestly, nervous. But we were reassured that these things pop up on a daily basis and its nothing to worry about. This just needs to be confirmed by a specialist and things can continue as normal.

So, assured as we were we left, we started discussing names and told our proud parents they were due to have a granddaughter. We decided on the name Lexi Jayne. It just fit. Lexi it was. Our family happily shared the news online that Lexi was our decided name and how proud they were, typical mam n dad stuff really. We were booked in with our next scan the week later to see what was going on with this anomaly. We spoke to a new Doctor who scanned my wife and advised us that this is something more serious than a cyst. We needed to see another speciality doctor in another hospital. So a week later another appointment was made at the hospital in the centre of Newcastle. We were told to arrive for 3pm but expect a bit of a delay. 6pm, we finally get called through for our scan. We speak to the doctor and her nurse who inform us Lexi had what was known as an Umbilical Vein Varix. If you want more information on that, google is your friend here people, in general it means the vein in her umbilical chord is swollen at a point. We were again assured that this is fine, this is a very rare condition but death rates were low, in fact the number of recorded deaths due to this varix is 0. We were told we need to be monitored every other week to check on growth as that’s the only thing we need to worry about.

So again we left happy. We had another scan of our daughter where it looked like she was yawning and had her hand over her mouth. I won’t lie, this had to be my favourite scan pic. It showed us a bit of her personality, we also got a pic of her massive foot which had been kicking Rachael for some time now. We then understood why it hurt so much haha. So more scans came and went and we got to watch our daughter grow every 2 weeks. Though we did have 1 more visit to the hospital in Newcastle centre. The doctors did a 3d scan (though I think they’re called 4d and I can never figure out why). He stupidly left it on the monitor as he went out the room, so free snap from my phone later and we had the perfect image haha. At this point my wife is starting to panic a bit, we haven’t really had time to start on Lexi’s room yet. Its getting close to December and Lexi is due in March. I assured her things would be ready on time and I have plans in place. I don’t think she believed me but I genuinely did have plans. We were to move the furniture out that we currently had in the beginning of December (which did get done) then around the 2nd or 3rd week my mam was going to start on the decorating of the room and the new year would bring in all of her furniture we would need. Speaking of decorating we decided we were going to have a Lilo and Stitch themed room. For a few reasons, one, we love stitch, stitch is awesome, don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise. Secondly the message in that movie that “ohana means family, family means no-one gets left behind, or forgotten” is something we thought was a nice motto for our family. Decals were bought and ready to go on walls. Everything was coming along nicely.

Thursday December 15th 2016. This is a day I will never forget for the rest of my life. It started out as any normal day would with the exception that my wife had a routine midwife appointment. I did my usual, get ready, kiss my wife goodbye and go to work routine. I was sat at work when I received an email at around 12:00. “I need you to come pick me up, somethings wrong with Lexi”. Okay, I was nervous. I left work and went to collect my wife who was waiting in the doctors surgery. During this time I had tried to contact my mam to let her know what was going on. No answer, sometimes getting in touch with the pope is easier than getting in touch with my mam haha. But I got to my wife, she gets in the car and tells me that her midwife cant find Lexi’s heartbeat on the doppler device. I wave this off immediately thinking she is just being awkward like her dad. My mam calls me back and we tell her the news, she is exactly the same, waves it off, she will be fine, of course she will.

I drop my wife off at the door and I go park the car. On the way in I smoke a cigarette, I have plenty of time. I go to the ward my wife is meant to be on. As I walk in…. the only word I can use to describe this next feeling is, Fuck. The ward is quiet apart from 1 voice. That 1 voice is screaming and crying and is a noise I will never get out of my head for the rest of my life. The other thing that was very distinguished about this voice is I recognised it. I knew immediately who it was. It was my wife. I walked to the reception head down asking for her, they sent me to another desk, I asked again for my wife, they sent me back to the original desk. It’s at this point I see someone I missed earlier, a nurse. I ask again for my wife. She has that look in her eye and I know what she is going to tell me. Her words were “are you Neil?” I say “yes” she is just about to go onto the whole I’m sorry I have bad news speech and I had to cut her off “I’m not stupid” I said “I can hear my wife screaming, my daughter is dead, where is she?” I was taken into a room where my wife is sat (thankfully with my sister who seen her come in) we all just embraced for a few minutes while things were confirmed 100%.

The next part of the day is all a bit of a blur. There are things I remember, things I try not too remember and because of this the order of stuff is a bit all over the place. We were sat in the same room being told that the next steps were we need Rachael to take a tablet, this would start to dissolve the placenta and start the process of getting our daughter out. At this point were trying to phone families to explain what the hell is going on. Were clearly in shock, I managed to get in touch with my mam again (which is rare, see pope comment). This is one part I will never forget. I had to tell my mam that her only grandchild was dead. How do you do this. I was choking back tears and all I could mutter out was, “it’s bad news mam, she’s gone” Unable to comprehend she was replying “what do you mean? Who’s gone?”. I knew what I had to say, it was difficult, it took all of my strength but I got the words out “Lexi is dead”. Everything on the phone went silent. You could hear the tears forming from my mam as she was trying to comprehend what her son was saying to her. Through muttered crying my mam asks how and I cant give her an answer. She said she will meet us back at home and see us soon. Her hanging up breaking her heart will live with me for the rest of my life. During this time we are trying to get in touch with my in-laws, who for once, are harder to get a hold of than my mam. We finally get through and I cant answer much for this as I wasn’t on the phone, but they’re told, I know they’re upset and they make their way to the hospital.

We sit for what feels like an eternity as we are told what the next steps of our journey will be. We finally have the tablet, the 3 of us are sitting in a room of sadness, a room of tears and a room of disbelief. After a while my in-laws appear and provide some much needed comfort to us all. We explain what has gone on and what is happening next. During this time we get moved to another room to get our heads around and prepare for the next few days. We are told we will be send home and we will need to return on Saturday. My wife wants to drink but due to the tablet she cant. So we opt for smoking again instead (my wife had stopped when she was pregnant). All I remember at this point is pacing the floor, my in-laws asking if I am okay and drinking coffee. We finally gather the courage to leave the hospital. We all go to the shop and pick up some essentials. For us cigarettes, for my in laws, food to keep our strength up. We arrived at the house first followed quickly by both sets of parents. We sat, we cried and we had cups of tea and coffee (yes the British way to sort ANY problem is a good ole fashioned cuppa). We talked a lot and for a long time. Eventually everyone left and it was just us. As much as we probably didn’t know it but at the time this was just what we needed. We needed time as a couple and just as a couple to figure our own shit out. We decided we would buy Lexi a star so she would always be remembered.

The next day was a bit of a blur. We had to go shopping and return some items we had bought (bottles etc) and also buy the kind of items women need when they are to give birth. On a side note with that, there are few places you can go to collect these supplies, if by chance you are reading this and working in one of these type of shops, please move it away from the baby aisle. Yes this is great for someone who is due to give birth to a healthy and alive child, to someone who has been told their child has died and is going to have a stillbirth, not so much. One of the things I remember about this day was trying to hold back tears in public. It’s strange as a male, were not meant to cry. Even when going through the worst pain imaginable all I could think was don’t let anyone see you cry. Also I was thankful that my mam was free that day to drive us around. The lack of food and lack of sleep since the day prior would have made driving a difficult and stupid task. I think to my mam she saw this as a small thing, but she will never know how much we needed this and how thankful we were. Another foodless day and sleepless night followed. The next day was hospital day.

So the big day is here, we get Rachael packed up take a few supplies, pop to the shop on the way and pick up some cigarettes, just enough for the day as we suspect we will be home in a few hours. Boy were we wrong. We arrived at the hospital at around 11:50 am, we stand outside taking everything in and before we go in, we have a quick smoke. We can see other people judging us, and we understand it, were pregnant and smoking. The only difference is smoking cant harm our baby, nothing can anymore. We go to the birthing suite and settle in to our room which in this hospital is known as “the Willow Room”. Our main midwife comes in and introduces herself. Her name is Jenny. She is a specialist bereavement midwife who deals with these sort of cases (actually if you google Jenny you will also see she has won awards for this, she really is amazing). She explained the procedure we would have to go through to get Rachael induced and to get Lexi out. The plan was every 4 hours she would have to have a tablet inserted into her cervix to basically force labour. After putting our minds at rest about our own worries and everything else she left the room for us to settle in. The willow room in the hospital is very different to other birthing suites, We had tea and coffee facilities, a sofa that turned into a double bed and the room was generally quite a bit bigger. There was also a book and a box with a camera in for us to take pictures with when our angel arrived. We looked at the book and it was stories of everyone who had been in the willow room prior to us. It was a deeply harrowing experience to read other people’s stories about their loved ones who were taken away so soon, but at the same time, it was comforting to know we weren’t alone, again more tears were shed.

It was around 2pm when Jenny came back to our room and we got things started. I remember asking Rachael how it was with the tablet and she kept a brave face and said as much as it was uncomfortable going in it was okay and she was fine. So we settled in to what would be our home for the next while. We chatted between each other and with the midwives when they appeared, went for a few cigarettes, watched tele, played on our phones etc, just like you would do normally. I really liked this room. It became our own personal bubble. The day turned to night and Rachael had already had another tablet. Nothing was moving, In all honesty, we expected to be home by now. We thought this would be a very quick procedure, induced couple of tablets and boom Lexi would be out. I remember phoning my mam saying things were taking longer than expected and I needed some things brought to us like food and more cigs. My mam being the gem that she is was down immediately with a bag full of goodies to snack on and more cigs to keep us going. She didn’t stay for long but we were grateful for the company. Another thing about being in the Willow Room, you get whatever you want. As most of you will know, hospitals have set visiting hours, not in the Willow Room. We could have visitors at any time we wanted, if there was stuff we wanted we only need ask (I even got meals brought to me and this hospital food was nice man). The other difference was a very subtle one, our room had a blue butterfly sticker on the door. The butterfly system is a great idea and again I recommend you look into it if you are curious.

One thing that made us quite popular with the midwives was our box of heroes, every time someone came in chocolate was offered. It was a small way to show the midwives how much we appreciated the care they had given us so far. So the night passed again being woken up every 4 hours for a tablet. Rachael was getting quite uncomfortable now which is understandable. Basically, the tablet would dissolve around her cervix and every time a new one was added it would feel gritty. It was one of those helpless moments where there was nothing I could do but hold her hand, tell her how amazing she was and how proud I was of her. Another slight tangent here, because we were on the birthing suite quite often during the night we would hear other women come into the other rooms, scream and then hear the baby cry. As you can imagine this was quite distressing but thankfully we had the TV to drown this out. Plus midwives would always come in and check on us make sure we were okay. Also it was during this time me and Rachael decided that when we have our rainbow baby, we don’t want a big deal made of it in the hospital, which means no balloons or anything substantial brought in while we are there. This can be saved until we are home. The amount of distress this caused to both me and the wife when we were going outside or for a walk just made us decide that’s how it will be. We don’t want to put other angel parents through that.

Sunday came around and still no movement. It got to 2pm and we were told that Rachael now gets a 24 hour break from the tablets, this came as great news to us, finally she could relax and maybe sleep without being woken through the night. We were introduced to some new midwives along the way, we met Anne who was a bubbly Scottish girl and who in the evening just sat and cried with us and tried her best to get us smiling again. She was very much like a mother figure and was a very open and honest person. She was amazing at comforting us and was there for us during our time of need without being in the way. We also met Judy. Now Judy was a funny one. I wasn’t sure about her at first she seems a little less friendly than Anne and Jenny but again maybe I was tired. Turns out, that’s all it was. After a late night cigarette the wife got slightly triggered again by people taking their healthy babies home. We got back to our room and she just broke down and cried in my arms. Judy clearly saw something was wrong and joined us. She was so kind and understanding and we sat talking for what must have been an hour. Showing pictures of our pets and family pets and discussing their personalities etc it really was a welcomed distraction.

Monday morning rolled around and still no Lexi. We knew that the tablets would be starting again soon so we made the most of our morning. Take a bit longer in the shower than normal and just generally have a bit of a relax before the afternoon rolled around. 2pm quickly struck us though and Rachael was prepped for another tablet. It was still painful but we tried to make light of the situation (Rachael at one point offering me to get my prostate checked, at the snap of the glove I politely declined). By this time we had another visit off mam to bring us more goodies and more cigs and a bit more general conversation. During this time I was keeping the rest of the family updated via text or Facebook Messenger so they knew what was going on. Because of how far my in laws lived we didn’t want to make them do such a long journey when my mam was closer, even though I know they would if we needed them too. It got to Monday night and there was still no movement. Rachaels cervix hadn’t changed and Lexi showed no signs of appearing any time soon. It was December 19th and we feared we would still be here on Christmas Day.

Tuesday December 20th. Rachael had been on tablets all day Monday and nothing was moving. She got a tablet at around 2-3am and she was in pain. The tablets really had taken their toll on her, I have never felt so helpless. Rachael finally opted to take some gas and air to help with her pain. I folder up my bed and sat with her to keep her company and try to help with her pain. Judy was our midwife again and she would periodically come to check on us. As the hours went on Rachael’s pain got more and more severe. She went to the toilet and something unplugged (im not sure on the terminology here, I probably should be but im not). I was told to tell Judy about what had happened. This was at about 5am. Judy came back and checked on her, things were moving along now and very quickly. We were told we could have dihydromorphine when labour started to help with the pain. Judy told me to let her know when things moved along again and she would go get this for her. It got to approximately 5:10 am and at that point Rachaels waters broke, This was again one of those things I’d never forget. Normally when waters break (from what I’m aware) this should all be clear liquid. This was not the case with us. When Rachael’s water broke it was red, it was a lot of blood. This was the sign of things happening. I’m not going to lie people, I panicked. I needed to find the call button as there was no midwife I could see. I followed the chord but couldn’t see the button, it was in the cupboard but my brain could not comprehend it. All I knew is I couldn’t see it. Finally when I wracked my head to being able to open the cupboard door I pressed the button, Judy was there immediately. Turns out we didn’t have time for the dihydromorphine, Lexi was coming and she was coming fast.

The birth was a standard birth apart from Lexi coming out butt first. I held Rachael’s hand as she pushed and she delivered Lexi on only gas and air, she did so well. It was weird as much as there was people in the room once Rachael stopped pushing a Lexi was out there was a silence, the crying you expect to hear and pray to hear wasn’t there. I remember for about a good 20 minutes I just sat there, looking out the window crying. I couldn’t look at Lexi and I couldn’t look at anyone else, although I did look while they gave my wife a huge injection in her leg to flush the placenta and being amazed that she didn’t feel it. We did have a laugh about that later. Once the midwives had finished up with Rachael I finally got the courage to look at her. Wow she was beautiful, I know everyone says their child is beautiful but she really was. Perfect little nose, eyes were kind of open so we could tell she had brown eyes, unfortunately she had my nose and not Rachaels and she had little wisps of brown hair. She was born at 5:18 am and when she was weighed she was 2lb 9oz. Judy stayed with us for a while and helped us to bathe Lexi, She asked if I wanted to do it but I didn’t have the strength. We got plenty of photo’s though and got her wrapped up in a towel. Next some clothes were brought in as she was too small for the clothes we had for her. She was wrapped in a little pink blanket and we finally got to hold our angel. Rachael had first hold, as she should I might add. You could see the pain in her eyes as she stared at our first born child. Tears were strolling down her cheek and she could not stop apologising even though she was not at fault. Lots of cuddles and kisses later it was my turn. Dear reader I have a confession to make here, holding a child has always been a huge fear of mine, what if I drop her, what if I don’t hold her right what if I make her uncomfortable etc etc. But I sat down and took her into my arms, it felt so natural. I have never felt such a surge of love and sadness at the same time before in my life. I just broke down. Here she was, my precious little daughter in my arms, I was finally a dad. The only difference is I couldn’t take my daughter home. We took lots of pictures and let our parents know Lexi was finally here and arranged their visiting times.

The first person to arrive was my Auntie, now you may recall I mentioned her earlier in the story, she was the prefer dogs to kids lady. She sat down with Lexi, had a bit of a hold and got lots of photo’s taken. You could see the pain in her eyes, this is not what we expected and I don’t think she expected it either. You could see the bond form between them instantly. We still joke to this day about how I would have understood more if it was our puppy who died. It just shows how much of a big heart my auntie has and she still to this day will cry when Lexi is mentioned. I know that if she had survived they would have been inseparable. We left my auntie babysitting while we went for our first smoke of the day. Later was time for my in laws to arrive, they brought us some McDonalds as a bit of a snack to get some other food in us which was greatly appreciated. Again more cuddles were had and more photo’s taken. My mam and Steve (her partner) followed. I was again surprised by the reaction of Steve. Bit of background here (ie another tangent). So, my mum had only recently got together with Steve earlier in the year. He had known us less than a year when Lexi was born. I will always remember when he walked into the room he just burst into tears. He came over and got himself some cuddles too and we made sure to get photo’s so he could keep that memory alive forever. Something like this I believe shows true character and his reaction to Lexi well and truly cemented my opinion of Steve as being a genuinely nice guy with a heart of gold. More photo’s later and lots of discussion (it was a noisy room at this point) Rachael’s sister walked in. Unfortunately it did get to the point where Lexi was becoming to deteriorated to hold anymore and needed to stay in her cold cot. Vic (Rachaels sister) did manage to give her a kiss and old onto her hand for a while so she did get some bonding time. A Little about Victoria, (again another tangent). Ever since I have known Vic she has always been strong willed and strong minded and VERY strong emotionally. She rarely shows when she is upset unless it really gets to her, she is a proud person and has every right to be and its an honour to be able to call her my sister in law. She can hold people together when needed and be that support that you want without being condescending toward you.

The reason I mention above is due to what happened when Vic walked in the room. She came in all happy and hey everyone being bubbly as normal. Went to Lexi’s cold cot, took one look and immediately turned away to try to hide the fact she was crying. She was clearly too late cos I saw her and went to give her a hug. So we all just kind of chilled in this room and eventually we got notice that the bereavement officer was here to see us. Her name was Kara. We took this as a sign for everyone to leave (apart from Vic, we wanted her to stay as she hadn’t been long, she waited outside for us to finish up with this next part). Kara introduced herself as the person no one ever wants to meet. We made a joke about this and complimented how lovely she actually was and we would happily speak to her again, just preferably under better circumstances. We got through the paperwork that was needed and immediately afterwards the registry officer was here. Another while of getting all of her details registered. She didn’t get a birth or death certificate, she got a certification of stillbirth. This means she will still have a record of life in a way and will still be acknowledged. What did get a bit creepy was towards the end of the registration, the lady doing this kept looking at us funny all throughout the process. It got to the end and she asked, are you married? We said yes, she asked when we got married and where. We told her and the penny dropped. The lady registering the death of our daughter registered our marriage. It was a nice but shocking revelation. Eventually everyone left and we spent some time Me, Rachael, Vic, and Lexi. More bonding later it was time for Vic to go.

We sat for a while just the 3 of us now, s a few nurses we spoke to throughout the time came in to see her and tell us how beautiful she was and offer hugs and support. Finally it hit around 5:30 pm and we decided for Lexi’s sake, it was time to say goodbye. She was deteriorating quickly and we didn’t want her to anymore. We also met another bereavement midwife called Nira. We told her it was time for Lexi to go. We put her teddy in her basket and sent her on her way re-assured we could get her back any time we wanted. We decided we would stay another night in our little hospital bubble. My mam brought us more McDonalds, a meal this time though and we all sat and chatted for a bit. We fell asleep ready to depart in the morning.

We awoke around 8:15 am after a rough night sleep, we decided to quickly go for a smoke before getting ready to go. On our way we passed Kara again who advised she had a little present for us but was nervous about giving it because of our stance on religion (we’re both atheist). We were absolutely gobsmacked that someone had thought of us who we barely knew and told her not to worry and to pop up and see us when she is free. We finished our cigarettes, went upstairs and had some toast and started to pack. Kara turned up and presented us with this little Christmas decoration of an Angel with Lexi’s name on it. It was beautiful and we thanked her profusely. We were later told that Kara never does this, she was just so touched by us and our story she couldn’t resist. We have spoke to Kara since and she really is an awesome lady. We finally went home and prepared for what would be a very strange Christmas.

I will skip over Christmas because I am sure you can guess how it was. Lots of tears, lots of alcohol and lots of what ifs. Its to be expected.

I will skip to just before new year. We finally got notice that Lexi’s body had been released after post mortem. We will be made aware when she is in the chapel of rest ready for us to go visit her and finish off the rest of the funeral arrangements. Actually (I swear I make a lot of tangents) on a side note. This again goes to show how amazing the hospital was. Once we got everything sorted we were also advised that Lexi’s funeral would be paid for by the NHS/hospital trust. This was a HUGE weight off our minds. Not a single expense was spared, we got cars, the chapel of rest, coffin all made for to our specification. All we needed to pay for was flowers. The funeral was organised by the co-op and I must admit, they were brilliant from start to finish. I will discuss the funeral more in the next section.

So once we found out Lexi was available to be visited again we got everyone who wanted too together and we went to see her. I went in first to make sure she hadn’t deteriorated too much. She was still perfect. Her teddy was still sat with her protecting her and making sure she was not alone. We organised songs with the directors and the priest guy who was going to do the service. We ordered flowers and everything was set for the day.

It was a cold morning, the wind was blowing and the air felt very crisp. The flowers were delivered, the family was here. All we were waiting for now was Lexi. We got in the car, the coffin was not on show, and took the small drive to the crematorium. We had come to the decision that I was to carry her down the aisle. That’s all I could think about on the way. How can I do this? Am I strong enough? Am I going to break down? Am I going to drop her? Etc etc. We pulled in and everyone was inside the building due to the weather though a small smattering of people waited outside. One of those people was a friend of my grandmother. She was stood right where the first car stopped. I am so thankful for this as seeing her was like seeing my gran and that gave me the strength to do what I had to do. I walked over gave her a big hug and thanked her for coming. Immediately turned to the right and picked up my daughters baby pink coffin. There is a saying, “the smallest boxes are the heaviest”. Never before has that felt so true. I walked my daughter down the aisle for what would be the only and last time as precious child played in the background. I somehow held it together. The service was the same as any other, slightly less religious for us but it was still beautiful. I don’t know if there is such a thing as a perfect funeral, but if so, this was it.

I guess the last thing to mention story wise was getting post mortem results. It was found to be that Lexi had the Varix which was an issue and also had a Whartons Jelly Deficiency. Basically this means her cord wasn’t protected. Both of these conditions are very rare and we know that we will not get these again. But for now, we work on our rainbow baby and doing things for baby loss charities.

If you have read this far thank you. More will be coming soon on the life of an angel parent.

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