#used to do this in middle school math class i was too shy to get up and borrow one of the fancy calculators so whenever we had to do square-

[databent]

doing long diviison for fun will have people asking "what the fuvk is wronw with uou" and well cant a guy havea little numbers. my numbers hobby. a special long division treat for me

[screaminglygay]

KINKTOBER day 2

pairing: stalker!amber x fem!reader

summary: you have only one friend, chad, but maybe you have another one, that you don’t even know about.

warnings: dark!amber, light choking, dark themes, swearing, dirty talk, use of a puppy nickname like twice, smut!!!, possibly bad grammar, if anything else, let me know!

word count: 5.3k

an: second day, yay! this one was bit harder to write, so I hope you like it! You know the drill, if there is any typo here, let me know and I’ll fix it!

an2: thank you for all the support! It means a lot!:)

(italics = your thoughts)

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+!

!MDNI!

Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!

Buzz buzz.

Your phone buzzed again, you picked it up and notice that it´s your friend, Chad. You and him had few classes together and basically get along just because he was annoying you for such a long time, that you basically couldnt resist any longer. He was the charmer, extroverted football player who act like a big puppy of bernard. And you were the quiet, reserved type of a girl, who needed to charge before any social event.

Chadinator

7:11AM

Imma pick you up in 10!

You always chuckled at his nickname, since he came up with it himself. Chad was so proud of that, that it´s basically the law to leave it like that and don´t change it. I mean how could you, he would whine and maybe even shed a tear if you changed it to something so simple as his name.

It´s was pretty common for you two to walk to school together this early. Chad either had his practise or some football meeting and you liked to go to the library before the first period. Today wasn´t exepction, so after you quickly just brushed your teeth and took your bag, that you suprisingly prepared the night before, you were already waiting for him in front of your dorm. Both of you preffered to walk to school, especially when it was such a pretty weather as it´s today.

"Boo!" Chad jumps from one of the trees that were dacorating the street.

"Asshole!" You yell as your heath skipped a beat. Slapping his arm was truly an instinkt by now, being with Chad was the same as having an older brother. Flinching everytime he came close.

Chad laughs, he look refreshed even at this time. "Works every time! You gotta keep sharp, (Y/N)! You never know where the danger will came from." Chad started to pucnh the air. "Left hook, right hook and pow pow pow! And he´s down!" Chad stated as you two began to walk.

"Who´s he?" You asked looking at Chad.

"I don´t know, (Y/N). That´s for you to decide." he just shrugs and kept walking.

As soon as you came to school, you´ve said your goodbyes and both of you went separate ways. Not like you didn´t talk in school, you did. But you prefered to be alone and enjoy your time in silence. Chad was the other way around, he had a friend group, that he always told you to join, because he would appraciate someone who would shut Mindy, his twin sister, up and since youre into movies too, you would do a great job at it, at least that´s what he always says. But you´re too shy to come over and say hi to people. It gives you instant flashback to the days in middle school where youre trauma was created. That moment you had to say your name and three funfacts about yourself.

Having Chad as the only person you talk to is quite great. No drama, at least not with you two. You often gossip about people in school, but in non judgmental way, of course. He was always kind and you two basically complete eachother. A lot of people might think Chad is just another jock who cant count to three, but it’s the other way around, actaully. Without Chad you would most definetly fail math or chem. You hate these subjects will all of your hearth.

Speaking of math, you were just on your way to the library to borrow another book with mathematical quadrations. So you won´t fail your math exam next week, you wanted to do this on your own, at least try it and then the night before call Chad with panic in your voice that he needs to tutor you asap, or the world will end. As this was normal scenario before every math exam. As always, you put your headphones in and played your "study session" playlist, with soft instrumental music. You turned a corner and as you were in your head you bumped into someone, their books fell down. And you immidielty pull your headphones off, as you took them off you heard a little "shit".

You look up and notice its Amber Freeman. A girl you know from Chad´s storytimes. You quickly look her up and down, which she in fact did notice, but you didnt realized that. She was portrayed by Chad stories as someone who dont give a flying damn about anyone and anything. Her outfit was pretty suiting on her. Black on black, with some cute silver nacklace.

"Oh shoot! Sorry! I didnt notice yo.! Let me just..." you crouched down and picked up all her fallen books. She probably just visited the library herself. You notice one of the books were a mathematical quadrations. You chuckled in your mind, being little happy that you´re not the only person who was having problems with that.

"No worries." Amber smiles.

You made eye contact with her again, she doesn´t seem that unfriendly as Chad said, she look actually pretty welcoming.

"Here." You smiled at her as you give her the books.

"Thank you..." She prolong the word as a gesture of not knowing your name.

"(Y/N)!" You state awkwardly as you though she know your name from Chad stories as well. Maybe you were just wrong.

"(Y/N)? Huh, are you new?" Her question throw you off guard, completly.

"N-no, uh Im actually Chad´s friend." Trying to explain who you are was even more humaliating to you.

"Oh really? My bad. Well pleasure to meet you, I guess I see you later." She winks at you and with her many books, she left.

You stand there for a couple of second, not knowing what just happened.

Did she just wink at me? Did Chad never mention me before? Should i socialize more if people think im new? Math exam!

After you enter the library, you were trying to find another edition of the math book and of course you can´t find it. So you asked the book lady and she said that the last edition was just borrowed by one of the students today.

Amber.

You can´t go bother Chad again, not when he has practise, so either you´re gonna fail, or you´re just try to socialize. It would be easier to move to Mexico, change your name and just dissapear from the world. You sigh, looking at your phone, you still have some minutes till the first period. So your next task is to find Amber Freeman.

After walking for another ten minutes, you decided to go to second floor. You walk there and thanks to your luck, Amber is there, putting her stuff into her locker. You start to walk little faster and you awkwardly stand next to her. The dark haired girl closed the locker and look at you.

"Well I guess that later is sooner then I expect it." She chuckled.

"Yeah, I need that." Poiting to the book she was currently holding in her hand wasn’t actually the maturest idea. "I mean..." You clearn your throat. "Im really shitty at math and this is the only way i can have at least D."

"Why don´t you ask Chad?" Amber tilts her hand, looking at your face.

"Um he has a football." You shrug. "I don´t-" Before you can finish your sentence, Amber speaks up.

"Wanna bother him." She rolls her eyes. Now you were starting to understand what Chad was saying about Amber. "I bet you’re one of those little cute shy girls, huh?" Amber smirks.

"I... just think I can do this on my own." You say, but it sounded more like a question.

"Can you?" Her brown eyes are watching every single one of your facial expression.

"I don´t-"As you want to answer she cuts you off again.

"I´ll tutor you, tomorrow after school?" Amber doesn´t care she started talking over you again, she doesnt look so welcoming at all anymore. More like this whole converstaion is beyond her and she has to deal with the most annying thing.

"I- uh.. yeah! Sure. Thank you." You nod, being shocked at how fast her behaviour changed.

"Good. Anything else you want?" Amber looks away, now not even looking at you. You feel more and more humiliated around her.

"N-no, no." You shake your head and with that you just leave to your first period.

After you left, Amber smiled to herself. After long nights of thinking about the best plan ever, she´s finally doing it and everything works just how she wanted too. With just the right push you gonna fall in love with her, just how she wants you to. How you want to, but you don´t know it yet.

Of course Amber knew who you were, of course Amber knew that every morning you go to the library before your first class. And of course she knew how much you suck at math. She knows way more than just this, even way more than a normal person should know. But who said she was a normal person?

She had you as her little project over the summer, when you and Chad became close friends. Analyzing your posts on social media, zooming in to see every detail, saving every photo or video of yours, just in case your little overthinking head will decide to delete it someday. Which happened a lot, but she was always a little faster than you. Amber was the first person who liked your photo, viewed your story, see what youve been up to. She gave you subtle signs that you two are meant to be. Of course she had to make sure, not to be so obvious - so she made a couple of fake accounts, for her to actaully work on her little project better. For exaplme account "mathe_F" was made when Chad said you had first problems with math and that he can´t hang out with the group, because he has to tutor you. "emily_didi" was made right after you shared on your story that you´ve just finished a show called "Dickinson" and all of the other account were in the same vibe. Meaningful subtle messages for you and only you.

After a few classes that were nothing else but boring you were at your locker, when one of the professors addresed you. She asked you if you could give this to Amber Freeman since she saw you guys talking, it was just some small books that she was interested in. She handed you two small books and walked away.

"This is just perfect..." You mumbled to yourself as you had mixed feelings about that mysterious girl. You weren´t sure if she was nice or if she was mean. You want to figure it out, but definetly not today, since you´ve been up her ass twice today. Twice.

But it would be better to already have it done, so you walk up to the second floor and hope that Amber will be at her locker again, but she´s not. As you turn away ready to walk away and catch her later, you saw some long dark hair dissepearing into the womans batrhoom. So obviously you made your way there, you opened the door and wait for her next to the sinks.

After few minutes the door opened and you were right, it was Amber. She looked up and it was suprise even for her. She tilt her head and walk to the sinks on the right side. She made eye contact with you through the mirror and because you haven´t said a word, she just smiles

"Are you stalking me or just following me like a lost puppy?" She took few towels and wipe her hands. Then take a few steps closer, sudenly you feel how your back hit the cold wall. "I´ve asked you a question, didnt I?"

"I... I´m not stalking you, I just- Mrs. Darott asked me to bring you this. Your books from her class." You explain, but you were pretty nervous by her comment, that it sounded like a poor excuse you just made on the spot.

Amber smiles and nods, taking the books from your hands. "So if youre not a stalker, then that leads us to our second option and that´s a lost puppy. Cute." she steps closer again. "If i didn´t recognize these books I would truly think that you´ll find any excuse to be at least 2 minutes with me."

You don´t know what to say to that, you simple just stare, completly like a confused puppy. She steps closer, now fully blocking a way out, literally by her body. She press agaisnt you and who would have thought she would be that strong. Her hands are next to your head, her eyes never left yours. You can feel her breathing on you, you can feel her levander parfume, it is like youre intoxicated by her.

"You wanna go?" Amber barerly whisper to you. The truth to be told, you don´t want to go, you just want to stay, because... you don´t even know why, but you want to stay with her. But because you don´t want to look desparate you nod your head.

"Then beg." And there she is again. The harsh Amber you don´t like that much, but your body does.

"W- what?" Confussion is heard from your voice, it can be also read from your face.

"You heard me, if you want to go, you can just beg. It´s not that hard, (Y/N)." Her lips are so close to your ear, meaning her whisper are running right down your body.

You mumble something, that you don´t even understand.

"Speak up, (Y/N). I can´t hear you." she said in mocking way.

"Please, may I go?" Your eyes avoid hers, looking everywhere else than her is the smartest way to survive, whatever this is. But she has something else in her mind. Her left hand comes closer to your face and her fingers softly touch your chin. The sudden feeling on your face is making you look at her. Once again her plan working exactly how she planned. Your gaze met and you can see on her face that she is not happy at how badly you just beg. So intiitively you correct yourself.

"Please Amber, I came her to give you the books. May i go know? Please." Her looks is not satisfied. "Pretty please?" You add with the most puppy dog look, that just breaks even someone as Amber Freeman herself.

She pull away and for some confusing reason, you already miss her being so close to you.

How the hell does she do that?

"Yes, you may." She smiles and like nothing happen she fully pull away.

"T-thanks" Stuttering words were left out of your mouth as you left the restrooms.

The whole day was this feeling in your stomach every single time you thought about Amber. You try to shake it off, you don´t know what happened in the restrooms, you didn´t know if it was a good or bad feeling. Youre first thought was to tell Chad, so he can help you understand this, but it was Amber. His friend. You were alone to figure it out, like you were with the math test.

Who even is Amber Freeman?

On your way from school you took the bus, Chad had his after school practice and you didn´t feel like walking anymore. And you were also pretty interest in finding out who Amber truly is. You looked at her instagram and the number of followers she had shocked you.

Is she that popular?

You scrolled down her feed and you´ve seen some pretty selfies. Some group photos, some nice instastrories about travelling. Oh and some pretty good music and books taste, almost the same as yours. What a coincidence, right?

As you scrolled lower her account, you noticed that she used to be a horse lover. A lots of pictures when she was like 10 on a horse. Looks like she didn´t care if anyone sees this, what a confident and non insecrue person. She owns every signle photo. As you scrolled down you missclicked and you like one of her old photos on a horse, by accident.

Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! Fuck!

You unlike it in a second, but youre not entirely sure if it´s in time.

Fuck! She will think im really a stalker now! Fuck me!

You yell in your head as you panic on the bus. It was few stops till your dorm and you didn´t care at all if Chad has a practice or not. This is an emergency!

You

4:19PM

CHAD!

CHADDDD!

SOS!

911!

Chadilator

4:22PM

Are you okay?

What´s wrong?

(Y/N)???

You

4:22PM

IF YOU LIKE SOMEONES OLD PHOTO ON INSTAGRAM AND UNLIKE IT WILL THEY SEE IT OR NOT??

Chadilator

4:23PM

OMG WHO DID YOU LIKE PHOTO OF?!?!?!?!?!

You

4:23PM

ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Chadilator

4:23PM

PROBABBLY THEY´LL SEE IT

WHO IS IT?

You

4:24PM

NO ONE IMPORTANT THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT.

And that was a lie. Probably the first lie that you told Chad. After few texts with Chad, he went back to doing whatever football guys do, but he promised he will bombard you with quiestions later. Great.

Amber was just going from school as a notification pooped up, (y/n/n)_ liked your photo.

She doesnt recall posting something very recently, she opens the app and chuckle as she realized what just happened. You had to dive deep, really deep. Amber smiled to herself knowing her plan is working even better, than she imagined.

...

You wake up with a jolt, your heart pounding in your chest. The sunlight break a way through your curtains, casting a warm glow on your room, but it offers no peace to your restless mind. Last night, sleep avoided you due to a dark haired girl.

The anxiety builds up within you as you remember the countless equations and formulas you struggled with. Your tutor, Amber, is a person you can´t really imagine tutor someone and don´t yell at them. But at the same time, she can be nice, sometimes. But will she be nice when you liked her old picture?

Maybe she didn´t see it. But what if she did?

As you groggily roll out of bed, your stomach is buzzing with nerves. You wonder if she´ll notice your sleep-deprived eyes, your shaky hands, your breathing. With each step towards the kitchen, you try to shake off the uneasy feeling. Maybe today will be different. Maybe you'll have a normal study session and it will be like nothing ever happened. You force yourself to eat a small breakfast, though the knot in your stomach makes it difficult to swallow.

The clock ticks relentlessly, drawing closer to the time you have to get out of your dorm and to face Chad.

Oh my god, Chad.

You´re not ready for his teasing, at least not today.

As you leave, you take a deep breath, trying to quell the nervousness that courses through your veins.

Oh what am I thinking? Today will be hell, but it’s okay, one after school session with Amber can´t hurt me, right?

As you open the door Chad is already waiting there with big smirk on his face.

"Soooo?" He skips to you. "Spill the tea!" Chad giggled like a small boy.

"Spill the tea?" You tilt your head and look at him as you two began to walk to school.

"Mindy says it a lot" Chad answers as he shrugs. "But don´t change the subject, go on and talk, (Y/N)." You have to make something up, quickly.

Shit, shit, shit. It was your friend. And we had this situation in bathroom... what it even was? I don´t know, but it was something!

You thought to yourself as you internaly panic.

"(Y/N)?" Chad nudge your arm.

"It was uh... do you remember the story about the girl at a bar? Well..." You and Chad made eye contact and his mouth falls open.

"The one you made out with?" Chad asks.

You simly just nod. And that was a second lie in less than 24 hours you told your bestfriend.

"No way!" Chad laughs.

"Yes, way." You sigh.

All the way to school Chad had many teasing remarks at you and how funny this whole situation was.

Yes, Chad. It´s absolutely hilarious.

...

You rush through the crowded hallways, your books in hand. First, it's history lecture. Then, off to sociology and lastly for the day englist literature. As the clock ticks, you barely notice the passing of time.

Suddenly, all your lectures are done for today, which means your tutoring with Amber is here. Your stomach grumbles as the nerves are back kicking in. As you get out from school, you notice Chad, Amber and the rest of the group sitting near the parking lot. You walk up to them, looking only at Chad, not wanting to make eye contact with Amber, at all. Not now yet.

"There she is! The lucky girl!" Chad announces.

"Hm?" You tilt you head not knowing what he meant.

"I was just telling them how you liked the old picture..." He laughs.

"Oh..." This was the moment you shared a look with Amber, she was already looking at you, but you didn´t see any hint of her knowing anything else, besides what Chad just said.

Maybe she really didnt saw it.

"Don´t worry, (Y/N). It happenes to the best of us." Mindy smiles.

"Yeah, (Y/N). She probably didn´t even see the notification." This time it was Amber speaking. But there was this smile again. This cruel smile of hers, which she had in the bathroom as well.

Shit. She knows.

"R-right." You nod.

After a few minutes of just hanging up, all of you went to different ways. Mindy went back into her dorm to her girlfriend. Chad went to his football practice as always, Tara went with him as a "cheer up". So it was just you and Amber. And you already know that it´s gonna be a memorable tutoring.

"So... puppy, are you ready for tutoring?" Amber asks.

"Can you not call me like that, please?" You take your backpack as a sign of ready to leave.

"I thought you like it, guess I must heard something, if im already seeing things." She shrugs and smiles at you.

"I uh- about that-" You look at her.

"About what?" She takes her own purse and the both of you start to walk towards her dorm, you don´t question it, you just follow her. Like a lost puppy.

"About- you know..." You nod towards her phone.

"Oh! Give me your phone." Again, you don´t question her and just passing your phone to Amber sounds like a good idea. You look at her nervously and after a few second, she pass you the phone back. You look at it and notice that she added her number into your phone.

"I- didn´t... thanks." Smiling was the only good idea you had right now.

"So it´ll be less weird if you like my old photo again." Amber winks.

"Shit! I- sorry. It was on accident. I just- was-" You immidietly blush and stutter your words like a kid who just been caught.

"Don´t. It´s cute. And don´t worry, we´re cool." It was again, the nice Amber, the same one as the first time you met her. "We should study, for your own good, (Y/N)." You liked this Amber a lot.

...

You sit across from Amber in her cozy dorm room, textbooks and notebooks spread out before you. The math problems on the page are challenging, but Amber's suprising patient is really making you at least try. She's been an excellent tutor, who would have thought?

As you both work through the problems, Amber's focus is strictly on you. Her dedication to helping you succeed is evident in her every word and gesture. However, as time passes, you notice a shift in her demeanor. She starts to glance at her phone more frequently, checking messages and notifications, her attention gradually drifting away from the math problems on the table, from you.

You clear your throat, trying to refocus her attention on the task at hand, but Amber's responses become distracted. She apologizes, but you can still feel her attention away from you. It seems that, for now, the math problems will remain unsolved, overshadowed by her phone.

You try to make the conversation back to math, asking questions and showing her the problems you're struggling with, but her attention keeps slipping away. You find yourself making more of an effort to capture her interest, right now you´re trying anything, hoping that she'll put her phone down and pay attention to you, like she did at the beginning of the session.

"Just so you know, I didn´t like like the picture, it was on accident. Horse girls are... scary." You mumble, being annyoed as she doesn´t even look at you.

"What did you say?" She looks up from her phone.

"You heard me, Amber." You shrug.

"Oh so that´s how you gonna be now? I don´t pay attention so you gonna attack me for my posts?" Amber chuckles. "Aren´t you the one who is obssesed with Marvel ladies? Or should I say... fanfiction?"

How the hell does she know?

"I don´t know what you´re talking about." You sit up more straight as to help you come of as confident person. Which doesn´t help at all.

"Natasha Romanoff x reader, smut, bdsm-" Amber is cut off by your hand.

"Shut up." After a second you´ve just realized what did you do. "Sorry." You pull your hand away as your face is now red as a tomato.

"So I was right." Amber has this cheeky smile on her face. The one you´d like to kiss away from her face.

Kiss? Am I attracted to her? No, I´m not. Maybe. I mean she´s hot. God i like her. Maybe? Do I?

"No you´re not. I don´t like these stuff, who even is Natasha Romanoff?" You chuckle.

"God, you´re such a shitty liar. Besides you had an essay on the MCU like a few months ago plus I saw Wattpad AND Tumbrl on your phone." She nods towards your phone.

"So you knew who I was, when we met!" You basically yelled at her. "Who´s lying now, huh? Miss mysterious!" This time it was Amber who lost her words. "Hm? Cat got your tongue?" Your smirking made something in Amber switch.

"Fuck this-" Her hand grab your shirt and pulled you towards her, her lips crashing at yours. The kiss is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine. It's both sweet and intense, like a long-awaited release.

Amber's hand finds its way to the grab your neck, fingers harshly threading through your hair, while yours rest against her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. The world outside melts away, leaving just the two of you, lost in the heat of the moment. Math was long forgotten.

Emotions swirl within you - confusion, longing, and a spark of undeniable passion. It's a kiss that feels like both a beginning and an end, a moment of surrender to something you can't quite define but desperately want to explore. As you finally break apart, breathless and wide-eyed, knowing that this kiss has changed everything between you and Amber. At least for you, for her? Nothing have changed and everything is going by her plan, maybe it´s little fast forward, but how can she wait, where you’re basically on her bed.

Amber looks at you with a hint of exitment in her eyes and admits. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time, you know? I've imagined this scenario so many times."

You feel a mixture of surprise and curiosity as you respond. "Really? I had no idea."

A faint blush colors her cheeks as she continues, "You never do, pretty girl."

You don´t notice the nickname, but only the feeling that it make you feel as she said those words. So you quickly move close to her again, blushing like a crazy as you already miss her lips on yours.

What could these lips do? Oh my god-

"What?" Amber tilts her head, "If you want anything, ask for it. Didn´t they learn this in school?" There she is, the mocking Amber you thought you hate, but your body says otherwise. You have to clench your thigs, to get at least a little friction. Because Amber, she´s looking at you with her dark eyes and you´re are positive if she says few sententes it could make you come right at the spot.

"Nothing." You mumble as you look away.

"Oh, okay. Then I guess, we can go back to studying-" You cut Amber off, pretty harshly, that was suprising to both of you.

"No! I don´t want to study..." You´re still looking down, knowing if you look up, you´d met her gaze.

"No? So what do you want to do?" By her voice, you can tell she has the smirk on her face.

"You know..."

"I don´t, (Y/N)." She knows. "You mean you want to fuck?" She chuckles.

This made you look at her. "Amber!" And that was a mistake. "I- uh"

"Hm? Say it and I´ll give you what you want." Her hand is caressing your cheek, slowly going up and down.

"F-fuck." You mumble out.

"Whole sentence, pretty girl. Come on." Her hand slowly squeezes your neck, which makes it hard for you to think.

"I want to fuck." You say very quietly, but Amber let it be.

"You forgetting something." She whispers in your ear.

When did she get so close?

You clench your thighs together again, now one Amber´s hand slipping into your pants.

"I want to fuck, please." You clear your throat as you can feel her hand pushing your drenched panties to the side. "I want you to fuck me, please. Pretty please, Amber!" You buck your hips towards her. "Fuck, please- I need you."

"You need me?" She looks up at you.

You nod. "Yes! I do! So much- a lot. I need only you, please." Your words were so pathetic, but Amber is loving every one you let out.

"You do need me, only me. That´s right. I´m keeping you safe, sweetheart. I always had." She wispers in your ear as her finger is slowly playing with your sensitive clit.

You don´t pay attention to her words, at all. But her finger is doing the gods work. She´s speeding up, but it´s still not enough.

"M-more..." you whine. "Please, im begging you, Amber. I really need it." You quickly add.

"Do you think you deserve it?"

You stay quiet, only letting few whines out, you don´t really know how to asnwer to that.

"Of course you do, my precious girl. Aw, you want more fingers, two? Oh three? We want three fingers? Okay." Amber nods as she whisper in your ear, you don´t control your hips anymore, it´s just going by itself at this point.

As Amber insert three fingers into you, it´s so easy as your wetness is dripping by your thighs. It takes you less than two minutes and you´re feeling like coming.

"Amber!" Is the only thing you are capable of yelling.

"I know, I know, shhhh" she shushes you. "I got you, I do."

"Please, can I? I- please!" You close your eyes, hoping she would say yes.

"Look at those pretty manners, of course. Go ahead my pretty girl." She smirks knowing this is better than she ever imaginated. Way better.

As you ride your high Amber just hold you close. Not ever letting you go and making sure all the danger in the world is secured by her and only her. It was like this before and it will be like that forever.

Thank you for reading!!!!

[sugarsfics]

Hi!! I was wondering if I could request a fluffy story of Eddie with a shy female!reader? basically something where she transferred to Hawkins in the middle of her senior year, and she’s having a hard time talking to people. Super closed off, nervous, horribly shy. But one metalhead notices her and thinks she’s as cute as a damn button…

also could you make her short?🤣 I just love a good short reader haha

Summary: You are the new girl.....when things get ruff a certain metalhead find you quite the caught <3 

Trope: Eddie x shy!reader; friends to crush to maybe lovers?? 

A/N: HIII @laurenandloki I hope you enjoy this I love when Eddie basically adopts the shy girl, I promise you peeps aren’t done with them yet, I want to make them into a little series to have them ofc fall in love and it would have been wayyy to soon to have them date it this one sooooo enjoy <3 

Warning: Cussing, fluff, use of y/n, bullying, small hurt, but a lot of comfort 

Word count: 2.1k 

Alright you got this, you said to yourself it is just another school, no one knows who you are so you can have a new start, how bad can it be? So far it was going well you walked to the office and got your schedule you grimaced at your dad’s last name that cheating scum bag f you found out two months ago you dad had been living a secret life a double life. He said that he started a new position at work where for a week out the month he had to go out of the state to show the higher ups the quota from the month before, well that was a lie. Your mom one day went to the store but had to take the long way due to construction and had to pass by your dad’s work and his car was in the lot she was so confused maybe he forgot something she went to the store and grabbed him so thing for lunch. His car was still in the lot when she came around again. She walked up to his secretary and asked if he was in, she said yes and that his sister was in his office, mind you your dad is an only child, she then walked into the office and found him kissing his supposed sister who had a baby in her hands. His secretary had no idea about the affair and was generous enough to forward mom into a job in Hawkins. So now you are here in Hawkins going into your senior year and starting school in the MIDDLE of the school year, how bad could it be? 

Everything was going great, until “Move it freshman” you were pushed from the back sending you forward, speak up for yourself stop being shy for once in your life “I-I-I am n-not a f-freshman" “Oh” the jock said “You must be from the middle school” the hallway erupted with laughter then the bell rang and everyone went their own ways when trying to get up a ringed hand came into view “Here let me help you up” a voice said you quietly thank them while getting up but didn’t make any eye contact you were too embarrassed. They lower themselves to make the eye contact you were met when the warmest brown eyes ever “Hi” the person said “Sorry about Jason he is a hugeee dick and think being mean to hot people it cool hence why I am his main target” he joked “Oh ok” “Yea oh let me see your schedule” he grabbed it out of your hand “Oh nice we have a lot of classes together including lunch here let me walk you” the walk was very short just to the end of the hallway “Here we are first period math it sucks having it be the first class of the day but then you won’t have to worry about it anymore” you both walked in and all eyes were on you fuck “Hey teach-” “Sit Munson your late” “I was-” “Sit” the teacher didn’t look up from his book “Can I help you” “Um yes I am new here” you showed him your schedule he huffed “Take any open seat” the only open seat was in the back next to that Munson? Was that his name? “Glad to have company back here” he said you gave him a thumbs up and turn to the board “You don’t talk a lot do you” he asked you shook your head “You should you have a pretty voice” Was he flirting with me? I only said like two words to him and he kinda called me hot did he call me hot? I DON’T KNOW. You just nodded at went back to writing notes. “Oh, by the way my name is Eddie” finally his name “Y/n” “Pretty name for a pretty girl” How bad could it be. 

Eddie didn’t have second period with you, but he did walk you to the class. When exiting the classroom, you saw him running to you holding out his arm to take you to third period, which you did have with him. It was the same thing you went up to the teacher, they would tell you to sit in the open seat which was always next to Eddie, which you really did mind. Eddie noticed you didn’t really talk but he wanted to get to know you more, for the first time that day Eddie pulled out his notebook and tore out a page. A folded paper plopped on your desk you look at Eddie as he had a smirk you opened the folded paper in black writing was Hi you became to write looking for the teacher before throwing at his table in pink writing Hi. Your new form of communication, Eddie wrote so much that period, the teacher looked confused thinking he was writing notes, you learned he has his own club, he has a job, has sheep? And is in a band. Fourth period came rolling around but this time the only empty seat was in front, nowhere near Eddie, there was a pit in your stomach the same one you get when it is your turn to present. Was it weird that you grown attached to Eddie so fast? That class went by slow not sure if it was the lack of Eddie or that lunch was next, lunch!! where are you going to sit? The was a nice tree outside? Maybe the library? Your car? Maybe Eddie? No I am not going to get my hopes up he probably won’t want the short shy girl sitting with him and his friends. *ring* oh now the bell wants to go off. You slowly packed your things still trying to think of where you will be eating. You turn and ran into a chest “Woah slow down their short stuff” “Sorry” you mutter. He walked out you were walking toward the parking lot when you felt a tug on your backpack “Where are you going” he ask “My car” “Oh did you leave you lunch in there” “No” “Then why are you going” you can’t tell him that you are going to eat in your car like a loser “I-I-I" “You were going to eat in your car” he questioned “n-no” you mumbled “Yea you aren’t you are seating with me” “I am?” “Yep let’s get going” “With your friends” “Yea don’t worry they don’t bite, maybe Matt, but I will protect you” He will protect me? How bad could it be? 

Eddie pulled you in front of him and started steering you using your shoulders he made little car noises and did a screech when stopping in front of three boys “Welcome to the table” he said bowing pulling a seat from the table next to them. “Here sit” “Thank you” Eddie’s friends stare at you, you started to shrink under their gaze “Quit staring” he told them “But she is a girl” said a one “Ok and” Eddie responded “Girls don’t sit or even associate with us” said another “Who even are you I have never seen you before” asked the last one “Ya’ll are acting like she is an alien your freaking her out” he turned to you “See this is exactly they are the reason why pretty girls like you don’t sit with us” he said patting your head “Oh this is y/n, y/n this is Jeff, Gareth, and Matt” he said point to each “By the way she is new which is why you haven’t seen her before she just moved her from...” he said looking at you “Oh um- New yor-” “NEW YORK why would anyone want to move from New York to sleepy town Hawkins” Jeff exclaimed “Long story” you said rolling your eyes. Eddie leaned on your shoulder and whispered, “You are going to tell me the story later right?” Are you ready to tell him the story? Is it too early in your friendship to talk about something deep? “Sure when we have time” How bad can it be? 

“No way man the outer path is more suitable” Three younger boys came to sit at the table “Are you an idiot this is Eddie’s campaign we are talking about he is going to make the happier light place have way more trouble we should take the “dark way” as you call it” said the one in a cap on “Ah my sheep still going on about last night campaign” “Yea you ended we thing were heating up” said another wearing a track suit “Well you will have to see tomorrow night I have a few tricks up my sleeves or maybe a giant or two” the table erupt with yelling making you jump “you ok” Eddie asked you nodded “Who is that” asked the one with hair similar to Eddie’s but shorter “Oh this is y/n, y/n these are the sheep Dustin, Mike, and Lucas, sheep, she is an honorary member of Hellfire” “I am?” “Yes you are” the boys went back to talking about the campaign when tapped Eddie’s shoulder “um- what is a campaign” when you asked the whole table feel silent “How is this girl a honorary member if she doesn’t even know what a campaign is?” asked Mike “I-” Eddie interrupted you “I am Master here so I call the shots you either be nice to the pretty girl or leave” this is like the 3rd pretty girl Mike sat down and mutter something under his breath “What was that” Eddie said “Nothing” “Good” he turn to you and you were pulling out your lunch bag “Ooo what are we having for lunch” he asked “Oh um I have a sandwich, chips, and some cookies I made” you notice that Eddie didn’t have a lunch in front of him, he has been nice to you all day so it was time to return the favor, you gave him a half of your sandwich and put the chips in the middle of you two “We can have the cookies later” you said smiling up at him he thanked you and overly exaggerated about how good the food was. You really liked Eddie, his friends too, mike you need to get used to but how bad could it be 

Lunch ended and Eddie kept you under his arm. You both had the last two classes together so it was really nice. You both still passed notes, it was really easy not getting caught the teachers didn’t look at Eddie’s direction that much. The final bell rang to go home. Eddie walked you to your locker, “So how was your first day” “surprisingly really good” “Yea” he smiled “Yes I had a cool master to show me around” you joke. He loved that you became more open with him. “So l/n what are you doing after school” you froze at the mention of your last name, “c-can you please not call me that” you said quietly “oh I am sorry I didn’t know.... is that a part of your long story?” “Yea I-I have to go” you said closing your locker, he saw you closing up again fuck Eddie you were so close “I am sorry” he said catching up to you “Please I didn’t know fuck I should have ask” who stopped at your car and took a breath “No I should be sorry for acting like that I am really sensitive to my last name and you obviously didn’t know because you don’t know me and you probably won’t want to due to my outburst-” “I would like to though” “Like to what?” “Get to know you, you seem really cool and pretty and you didn’t judge me over what people were saying or my friends and I being the freaks for the first time in a while I felt like myself at school with you” “I would really like to get to know you too” “Great ca-can I have your number” he said rubbing his neck. You pulled out your pink pen and wrote your number on his arm “Do you have like a curfew or can I call you whenever” he asked “Whenever” “Ok cool cool....can I call you when you get home” “Yes you can” “Great see you well actually hear you then” he replied “Bye y/n” “Bye master” you got inside your car waved at Eddie and drove away. Eddie watched you leave then pulled out all of the notes you have passed throughout the day and put it in his glove department, but he grabbed his favorite one, the first one, and put it on his dashboard he looked at his arm and smile, he got the pretty girl's number. You drove home quickly but safely you hurried to grab a snack and water ran to your room and waiting by your phone. Five minutes later the phone rang. “Hello” you spoked his voice boomed “Hey its Eddie” “Hi” “I hope you have nothing to do because I am planning to talk to you all night” How bad could it be.

tag list: @thefreak0fhawkinshigh 

Let me know if you want to be added<3

[barlowstreet]

I am so fucking proud of you! May I ask how your group project ended up going?

Thank you!!!

Honestly yeah I have tea, let's spill.

Under a cut for long math drama because WOW that a whole thing

Alright, so for anyone who missed it, the group project assignment was fairly simple. It was literally just pick an article about mathematical modeling (he suggested using covid 19 as a topic), read it, present our findings to our class. Four people in my group, 10 minute long at most presentation, could have all probably be done in 30 minutes, right? We started this March 20th and it was due April 10th, today.

I picked the article, sent it to my group partners, they were like "yeah sure that works". I set up a word document through office 365 which we all have access to through our school that we could all just put our notes in and I put my part in March 20th. And then I took a whole bunch of cold medication because that was when I was sick.

Then no one did anything. I emailed them again reminding them, hey, we do gotta do this April 5th. The one girl did hers that day. The guy in my group did his April 7th. I also made a powerpoint at that point because I was like "I am not just talking to the camera here, I need a prop". (I get camera shy and do a lot better if I have props.)

The other girl in my group? The last email I got from her was never. She never replied to a single one of my emails. We talked in class once in a breakout room, where I said "I will email you all, I have no voice and am very sick and it's probably easier to just use email" and she was like, "Yeah, sounds good." So to be clear, she knew I was going to email her.

I get to class today and the guy in my group is not there. Okay, sure, fine, one of us can read his part. GirlA messages me in the zoom chat and is like "did GirlB ever send you anything?" and I have to be like, "No. I have a slide with just her name on it, do we want to just be petty and pause on it for a moment when we get there?" and she was like "Yeah tbh she didn't reply to any of our emails and do any work, what else do we do".

(Meanwhile we were talking about grades and GirlB asks the instructor why he never gave her a time slot to do one of our quizzes. It was a take home quiz. He said that SEVERAL times in class but I suspect she isn't actually there a decent amount, she just opens the zoom link and does other things. But our classes are recorded. Watch the recording at least?)

And then GirlB messages me. At 7:25pm. And says, "I sent you my notes."

My class, I will tell anyone who doesn't know, is 6:30pm to 9:30pm. We were in class. Other people were presenting, and I'm frantically adding things to the powerpoint presentation that I made. AND she somehow didn't actually change the online version of the powerpoint (because I enabled editing for that too) so she had to send it to me.

And she sent it as a PDF.

Anyways, me and GirlA sounded like we knew what we were talking about. I fake being good at speaking well and she made a good joke that made her seem a little more relaxed. I will say that the other girl did send me a couple of diagrams which made things look nice, but she really struggled with presenting it and sounded very awkward.

Oh and the guy showed up literally in the middle of our presentation, which, you know, I'll take since I didn't have to present his part.

We sorta could tell that GirlB handed in a bunch of assignments technically late and her grade was probably Not Good so honestly the fact that we all got 100% on the presentation probably did her a lot of good.

And I swear to god, most of it is because people are impressed by powerpoint. GirlA, when we were gossiping, she thanked me for doing "all that work" on the powerpoint when, like, it took me 10 minutes because I downloaded a vaguely math-y looking powerpoint theme XD So, life lesson, a good looking powerpoint presentation will take you a long way.

[inn-oceanid]

hi! if youre okay with doing more dorm mates hcs for other characters, could you do kaeya and albedo as your dorm mates? thanks so much in advance <3!

Kaeya and Albedo as your dorm mates !

Tysm for the request ! I enjoyed writing this lmao.

Contains; fluff, and flirting, touchy Kaeya but that’s all. NOT PROOFREAD

So how did you guys met? —you just happened to be in the same class as Kaeya, as well as dorms. Kaeya was in the same class with Albedo last year so he was preeetty much close with the quiet boy. Which made him invite Albedo to stay with the two of you in your dorm because, the place was kind of big for the two of you.

Alright when you stay with these two, you can clearly see how their personalities are veeeery different if you pay attention—to be honest you don’t need to pay attention, you’ll see anyway.

Albedo

It’s like new day new fact for you after Albedo moved in with you and Kaeya. You were very amused at how he was very smart when it comes to science and mathematics computation.

Like he can do mental computations—like how tf? 184 x 246? Without a paper and a pen, I’d take you (+me) ages before you can finish solving it inside your brain (+mine)

So like, whenever you blurt out math equations from your homework, Albedo’s there to say the answer within 3 seconds.

Walking calculator.

Albedo also likes sketching, you’ve seen and watched him sketch many things ever since he moved in.

Like in the balcony at 5pm, he’ll sketch people walking home from school and you’ll watch him sketch sitting beside him.

Albedo likes it when you watch him do his hobbies, it makes him feel like you’re so intrigued about him, and he likes your company very much.

sometimes he’d go, “Can you be my reference? For my sketch, if you don’t mind.” And request you to just sit right in front of him and do your thing.

He sits right in front of you while he crosses his legs, and uses his thighs for a stand for his sketch book.

You admit you get shy when he looks or scans your face and body for his sketch, the way he looks calmly serious while sketching. There’s just something that makes you shy around him—and he knows.

Your eyes meet way too many times when he looks at you as he continues to sketch.

Just wait until he holds eye contact with you while his hands do it’s work without even looking at the paper.

Deep inside Albedo wanted to smirk at you badly because of how tensed you look while he doesn’t tear his eyes away from yours, but he’ll tease you some other day or time, maybe later.

After he’s done sketching, he’ll show it to you while having his back lean against the chair he’s sitting on. “I’m done.”

“Oh don’t you look alluring in this sketch?—just like always.”

As much as you want to look at the sketch first and see his drawing, his word was first to make you blush furiously and cover half of your face. So he’ll leave the sketch beside you and wash his hands.

Other than sketching, Albedo is good at baking. When you asked why, he goes,

“I have a little sister, although we’re not blood related but I see her as that. We bake cookies during weekends, I’ve mastered the art of baking because of that. I guess it’s for her to like my cookies, and so that she’ll remember me whenever she sees it. And so that she won’t get lonely whenever I come back here.” Like bro that’s so wholesome.

He also goes, “Why don’t you come with me to visit her some time? I’m certain that she will very much like you.”

Albedo also teaches you his special cookie recipe, he said it’s better to be prepared. So that you, him, and the little girl he mentioned named, Klee can bake together when you visit her.

Surprisingly, Kaeya also knew about Klee. Guess like he and Albedo are really close huh.

Watches you mix the ingredients together. He won’t scan what you’re doing, he’ll scan your face, your hair, your concentration. He finds it alluringly attractive.

And he tells you that you’re attractive while you’re in the middle of your baking.

Kaeya

Kaeya

Define kaeya seriously.

He’s touchy, pokes here and there, everyday.

Kaeya is the kid in the room. He likes to complain about things, whine, act like a child.

He likes it when the attention is focused on him, whether it’d be you or Albedo or both.

He’s really close with Albedo where it goes to the point you think if he’s bisexual or something, if he likes Albedo or something.

But he does straight things that confuses you more, like he’ll suddenly hug you from the front all of the sudden, from the back, anywhere he can hug you.

Like, you’ll exit your room, he’ll hug you.

He exits his room, he’ll hug you. It somehow tells you that he wants affection because you see a lonely side of him when he’s quiet or sitting alone in the living room so in return, you hug back and pat his back while making small steps with him somewhere.

Just, be, affectionate. Then he’ll be happy.

The most adorable thing he does is when you and Albedo are sitting together on the sofa, he’ll squeeze between the two of you, the does these two things:

Lay his head on your lap, and rest his legs on Albedo’s. Then he’ll talk about how his day went where you and Albedo would just chuckle at while listening.

Or, rest on someone’s shoulder and sleep.

And when he does sleep, you and Albedo will move once you knows he’s totally asleep and cover him with a blanket.

And he’ll be waking up with his friends cooking him dinner, in which he’ll softly smile to.

Kaeya is the one who does groceries. (💀)

He’ll always go to the groceries with you and Albedo with him. You’re a package, the three of you, three in one, yeah that’s his mindset. He doesn’t like leaving one behind.

He holds the list and tells you what to get, what brand like “Get pasta, get pasta. No that’s too cheap, that one.” Bro it’s just pasta chill, it’ll taste the same.

But unfortunately he says it’s not the same, then will head to the next isle.

After groceries, he’ll be heading to a fast food restaurant and treat you two as a thanks for coming with him. He does this every time. More like a routine.

He’s noisy when he goes outside—

But gets quiet when he’s home. He acts homesick but he says he isn’t.

When Albedo’s not home, he’ll sit on the dinner table and draw circles on the table while he asks you random things when you’re doing your homework.

“What is the most precious thing you received as a birthday gift?” — “What’s important for you right now?” “What makes you happy?” “Do you think the world is round?”

“The world is round, you can’t change my mind otherwise. I don’t get why some people it’s flat, I completely disagree. —just because we travel and use a straight road doesn’t mean it’s flat.” He’ll start murmuring which is enough to make you chuckle and lose concentration on your work.

He’s talking about Diluc-

BONUS

These two would always walk with you to school, on the school hallway, cafeteria, literally everywhere. Like there’s no day you don’t walk without them.

Kaeya is always in the middle. For some reason.

“Classes are starting? Already?” Kaeya would always roll his eyes. (Lmao the tone when he said, ‘me? Lonely? Not when someone’s here nagging me all that time, that’s for sure’)

He waves at Albedo when you walk him to his class, like a child being separated from his older brother. While Albedo just looks at him and nods, ‘yeah. We all know we’ll meet again later.’

[mothgrudge]

reminiscing

(wow some “official” writing this is surprising)

wip: main family

character(s): nazam “naz” & anzu takuma (mentions of yarrah, mashiro, and mai)

tw(s): deadname mention, eating disorder, suicidal thoughts/ideation, body dysmorphia

a short walk through memory lane from naz’s perspective of life before he and anzu got together. there is a happy ending here we promise 😭💙

general to know: anzu was adopted by red and tsubame takuma when he was in high school from his abusive/neglectful parents—making mai and mashiro his adopted siblings. the story begins when anzu is still with his family and time skips around throughout he and naz’s life.

(also this is in 2nd person! naz is the narrator ‘you’ refers to anzu :3)

We first met in elementary school. First grade.

My older sister dropped me off. You came by yourself.

Both of us sat at the back of the classroom.

During recess you didn’t talk to anyone. You stayed by yourself in the sandbox and I stayed by myself in the classroom, with my book. I didn’t focus on it. I focused on watching you drag your shovel through the sand and stare longingly after the other children playing. You put your head down. So did I.

I think that was where it started.

People left me alone because I was quiet. I was weird. I always scored high on math tests and read computer textbooks I stole from my sister when we weren’t working on class projects. I stared the teacher down until she moved on from asking me to read aloud. She tried asking my parents about the books I read, and my father insisted I didn’t know how to read, it was her job to teach me. She asked me to read a sentence. I didn’t say a word. My father took it as proof. She seemed disappointed in me.

People bothered you because you were quiet. You came to school sometimes with bruises, and created your own through many fights on the playground. The teacher tried to call your parents in, and sometimes I would stall going home to see if they’d show up.

They didn’t.

The first time we spoke was a group project in 5th grade. I’d been watching you for a few years, but I was too shy to talk to you. You didn’t seem like you wanted to be bothered with the project anyway. I resigned myself to doing all the work in your stead, if it meant the teacher would stop pulling you aside to talk about ‘your grades.’ But you looked at me, with a look I’d never really seen before.

“What’s your name?” You asked. I hesitated. “... Naz… ara… Nazara.” I hated my name. “Nazara.” You repeated. I loved it. “Anzu. You ever go by Naz?”

I hadn’t, until you asked. And then that was the only thing I ever let anyone call me.

After the project we didn’t interact much. When I came into class, you’d give me a small quirk of your lips I suspected was a smile, but you always kept your head down and in response so did I. I didn’t smile much— I still don’t— but I always tried to make eye contact when I saw you come in late. You got into more fights, I read more computer books, and moved my interest towards differential equations and physics theorems, all books I stole from Yarrah. There wasn’t really any reason I should’ve understood it, but I did. I hid the books from our teachers. Once, you hid one for me. One of your usual offenders walked by and pushed my book into the middle of the floor during quiet time. I knew it was on purpose. You were getting stronger, he needed others to pick on. It was testing the waters. To see how weak I was. The thump of it on the floor was deafening. Everyone turned to look. Our teacher came over, and frozen, I stared at her. You saw my panic. You kicked the book under the bookshelf and hid it from view.

“What’s going on?” She asked. I said nothing. You said nothing. The bully said nothing. She clicked her tongue, and walked away.

You got into a fight with that bully at recess. I wish I would’ve stepped up to wipe your bloody nose.

💙💙💙💙

Middle school is when things started to change. Not between us. But for me.

We moved that summer to a town a few miles over. I never got to say goodbye. But the thought of never seeing you again made me throw up everything I ate. I did it in secret. No one knew. Yarrah caught me once, but I told her I just wasn’t feeling good. She told me to get more sun. I said I would. But the whole summer I spent glued to our family computer. I used my father’s card to buy myself spare parts, and he never noticed. I finished my first home-built PC by the time the first week of my new school should’ve been.

But turns out my parents never enrolled me. They were out of the country, and I guess they forgot. I took it upon myself to enroll myself at our old neighborhood middle school. Where I thought you would go. It was a walk to get there. Six and a half miles. I woke up at 4am every morning to get there. I walked alone. I didn’t eat. My reward was seeing you that first day I finally came to school, sitting at the back of the classroom, with your hood up and phone in hand. The tight feeling in my chest finally subsided.

“Naz,” You greeted me when I sat in the back desk next to you. “I didn’t know you had this class.”

“My parents enrolled me late.” I whispered. You hummed, understanding.

At lunch I went to the library and took a nap. I dragged myself awake at the bell. This became my routine.

💙💙💙💙

I grew skinnier. My hair began to thin out. I started wearing a beanie to school, and big bulky sweaters to hide my thin arms. I hid out every gym, behind the bleachers so they couldn’t see me. But I got to see you. You were getting taller now, and your shoulders got more broad. There was a day in gym that you all played dodgeball, and seeing you throw, I thought about being in your arms.

I threw up again after class.

We had one group project together in seventh grade, and you greeted me every day when you came to class with a small nod. That was enough, I thought. I made it be. I didn’t feel like I deserved anything more— with how I looked, with how I felt. I hated Nazara more and more with every passing day. The worst of it came on field trip day.

To the aquarium. I forged my parents signature, and I was sure you forged yours too. I sat in the back of the bus, and I thought you would too. I was almost excited. I wasn’t expecting someone to cheerfully call, “Anzu!” when you stepped on the bus.

You looked just as surprised too.

The person who called had pink hair. Their skin was pretty and dark brown. They looked bright and full of life, and their energy was contagious. You couldn’t see anywhere else to sit. You dropped down next to them near the front of the bus.

I stayed alone in the back, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

I don’t remember passing out.

💙💙💙💙

“Nazara. Stop being difficult.” The social worker frowned at me. I stared back at him impassively. “If someone has been neglecting you at home, we need to know that.” I didn’t say anything. After my week long coma after passing out on the bus, the doctors had been trying desperately to get something out of me. They wouldn’t believe me if I told them I did it to myself. I didn’t want to be Nazara. I didn’t want to be anything.

The social worker knew he wasn’t getting through to me. He sighed, and stood up. “Please try to eat at least something today, Nazara.”

He left.

💙💙💙💙

I hope you would become good friends with Mashiro. I hoped you would be happier.

💙💙💙💙

“Your child has fucking anorexia, and all you can care about is your business trip!” I heard Yarrah yelling at my father over the phone. It was a few weeks after I was discharged from the hospital. They diagnosed me, enrolled me in therapy sessions, and had a social worker come by every week to see how I was doing. But the diagnosis didn’t help. It felt like things were better when I ignored it. When I walked six miles to school, when I saw you in class, when I pretended that the budding shapes on my chest and the thinness of my arms weren’t there.

I put my pillow over my face. I wanted to shut everything out.

💙💙💙💙

You came by once. Out of the blue. I don’t think you meant to.

It had been… three years at this point. I should’ve been in 10th grade, with you. My neighborhood was in the same zone as the local high school, I could’ve ridden the bus instead of walking all that way to you. I think it’d been a year since I’d really been outside. I stayed in my room, in my empty house. I took my medicine. I had zoom calls with my therapist. I read computer engineering books. I built PCs, then took them apart. I bought things on Amazon with my dad’s money. I talked on and off with Yarrah. I never answered the door. Ever. I tried once. After I was pulled out of middle school. The postman’s disgusted look was all I needed to never try again.

But I’m not sure what compelled me today.

Maybe I was excited about my package coming, a new motherboard for my latest build. Maybe, I was starting to gain weight again after learning about being transgender. Maybe, for once, I felt good.

Maybe it was fate.

I crossed the darkened hall, I opened the door. I came face to face with a bright, beaming, pink face.

“Hi! My name’s Mashiro Takuma! This is—”

“—Anzu.” You said. You looked awkward, but maybe fond. “We’re helping my sister look for her lost cat. She got out the other day.” Mashiro handed me a flyer, and I studied it carefully. MEDUSA it read in bold letters, with the picture of a sleek, tiny legged black cat. It had big green eyes, that stared up at me from the flyer innocently. “Have you seen her at all?”

“I don’t leave the house much.” I said, shrugging.

“Oh…” Mashiro’s energy wilted. I felt my face pull into a frown. “My sister gets around town a lot, though.” I tried to amend. “When she comes home from work, I’ll ask her.” His beam: restored. You smiled behind him, mouthing ‘thank you.’ I tried to smile back.

“Well, if she’s heard anything, you can contact me here.” Mashiro directed my eyes to the bottom of the flyer where a host of contact numbers were recorded. There was a Red Takuma, Tsubame Takuma, Mashiro Takuma and Anzu. No last name. I nodded slowly. I carefully tucked the flyer under my arm.

“All of her favorite foods and some tips on coaxing her inside are on the back, so if you see her, please, do your best!” Mashiro gave me a cheerful thumbs up, and I laughed. Softly. I couldn’t remember when the last time I laughed was.

“I’ll try.” I promised. And then with a wave, the two of you were off. I held the door open until I saw you all disappear around the bend of the next street, then slowly let the door fall shut. I stared down at the flyer from the safety of my room. I didn’t wait. I called Yarrah. Turns out she had seen the cat. She was friendly, and hiding behind the building she worked at. It was easy enough to take her in.

I didn’t go when she returned Medusa to you all. I was still too scared to face the world.

💙💙💙💙

May. You and Mashiro should be graduating now.

I stared out of the window of Yarrah’s apartment, my head pillowed in far too many cushions. The surgery went well. I was discharged yesterday. I looked down at the bandages and gauze that protected my vulnerably flat chest. Even if everything was sore, and a bit tight, my chest felt light, physically and metaphorically.

“Naz!” Yarrah burst into the room, bringing something warm and good smelling with her. Soup, probably. Maybe curry. She rested it down in front of me, ruffling my hair. “Make sure you finish at least half.”

“I’ll try.” I meant it. “Once this heals up, we’re gonna take you to get your name change, okay?”

“Thank you Ra. … I mean it.”

“I’m your sister.” She shrugged. “It’s what I do.” We already went over the argument a million times that she didn’t have to, I could see the flames in her eyes, ready to pounce if I tried it. I ceded, bowing my head. “Thank you.” I said instead, quietly. She left only a few minutes after. Running down to the store, I think. I closed my eyes. I dreamed of you.

💙💙💙💙

I stopped by a grocery store, just to grab something quick. I had a long stretch of contract requirements I needed to get on tonight, or my boss would have my ass. But I was slowly learning to fuel myself while I did it.

I wasn’t expecting to see you there.

You’d grown. So much. You were two or three heads taller than me, more filled out than before. The hoodie you wore fit snug around your arms, your jeans were tight and fit well. Your eyes were bright; brighter than I ever remembered seeing them when we were young. A pair of blue beats rested around your neck and you had a sleek phone pressed against your ear.

“— tell Mai I’m almost done getting the ingredients.” You were saying. “I can’t find the red velvet cake they want.” I glanced at my basket. The last slice of red velvet cake stared up at me.

Talk to them. My brain said.

I can’t.

“Shiro, don’t you start whining too!” You laughed. That was the first time I really heard your laugh up close and my heart burst.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon. Ja!” You ended the call just as I turned on my heel, leaving the cake next to your basket. Even if that was all I could do… it was enough. It would be enough.

“Oh, hey, you don’t have to do that.” I felt a hand rest on my shoulder; with nails painted black and silver rings adorning it’s long fingers. My heart jackhammered against my chest.

“It’s fine.” I cleared my throat. “I probably wouldn’t finish it anyway.” I racked my brain from what I remembered. “And that’s Mai’s favorite, right?”

“Yeah, but how did you…”

I glanced at you over my shoulder and your words died in your throat.

I smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Naz?”

My heart nearly stopped. I stared at you, wide-eyed. I never… never thought…

Your face lit up in a grin.

“Is that you? Wow, it’s been awhile. How have you been?”

“I… I’ve been…” I searched for words, still trying to shake off my shock. I angled my body to face you completely.

“I’ve been okay— better, than before I guess.” I chuckled, dryly. “You look good though, Anzu.” My tongue felt too big for my mouth. When was the last time I talked this much? To my therapist maybe. “I feel good.” Your voice went soft, warm. My chest bloomed. “I’m so glad.” I said back.

A silence drifted over us, an inevitable one. We never spoke much when we were young, and then I vanished. I wasn’t supposing there was much left to talk about. “I hope they enjoy the cake—“

“Can we meet up sometime?” You said, fast. Your expression was almost panicked, as though you were afraid of something. Of me saying no? Never to you. Ever.

“Sure,” I tried for flippant, but my voice was too fond. “But um.” I gestured vaguely towards myself. “It’s Nazam. Now. Um.” My voice got caught in my throat. I cleared it. “Not Nazara.” I wasn’t sure if you’d catch my meaning. You did. You smiled in relief.

“Nazam.” You repeated. You took my hands in yours. “Nazam. It suits you” I ducked my head, feeling my cheeks begin to flush. I coughed softly. “W-When did you want to meet?”

💙💙💙💙

I traced my fingers across the scatter of tattoos on your arms. The dawn had barely begun to peak over the horizon, and everything in our house was still covered in boxes. The only thing we’d bothered to unpack was maybe a quarter of our room, the bed at the very least so we could have somewhere to sleep. You murmured something, then turned towards me, pulling me tight against your chest.

“You up?” You murmured.

“Unfortunately.” I whispered back. You pressed your lips soft against my head.

“Go back to sleep, clover. We can unpack your precious gadgets tomorrow.”

“I guess I can survive until then.” I chuckled, and your soft, sleep-laden laugh rumbled against my cheek. I traced my fingers over your lips.

“I love you, Anz.” Soft. Even with your eyes closed, you smiled. “I love you too, Naz.”

The hole in my ribs finally closed. I buried into you and let your breathing soothe me back to sleep.

[thenormalschoolofficial]

List of reactions some of the normal students have to Nurse Walker’s freaky top secret total regeneration magic:

Boys keep doing the dumbest shit imaginable because they think they’re invincible even though nurse walker is not shy about only healing damage caused by going to Horror Movie Final Girl Middle School and Will Robinson’s nose is still crooked from that time in sixth grade he did something dumb enough to get his whole face smashed flat

Teddy has a giant poster in her bedroom of an autopsy sheet of her past injuries that she’s been filling out for three years by now with the title “ALL THE WAYS I SHOULD BE DEAD BY NOW” handscrawled on the top. it looks worse than the wound man and it’s her pride and joy.

“It’s not witchcraft, Nurse Walker heals us through the power of God” “How can she be chosen by god if she’s a protestant??” (It’s witchcraft)

Emma got a tattoo almost immediately after sixth grade ended because if you get a new tattoo you can’t get injured at school for three months after it because Nurse Walker’s healing will heal the tattoo away too.

One time this girl who grew up in the weird doomsday cult in Birnam got her first period in math class and she ran to Nurse Walker in hysterics with absolutely no idea what was happening and she told Nurse Walker to make it stop and Nurse Walker said “I can’t, you’ve been cursed for the sin of gettin too old” and the girl literally fainted on the spot but Nurse Walker still wasn’t fired anyway because everyone would literally die without her. There were rumors for months that the cult was gonna kill Nurse Walker for this but nothing ever came of it.

She used to not take hall passes from kids with stomach aches because she’s a school nurse, it’s a demanding job, she’s not a babysitter for whiny kids who feel a little booboo or wanna play hooky. One time she said this though and the kid said “no, but i really don’t feel well” and then promptly vomited an entire 2-foot long hoopworm on the floor (it’s like ringworm but instead of a bunch of small parasites multiplying it’s one ourobouros growing larger and larger inside your guts, it’s nasty) and principal started requiring Nurse Walker to check in on stomach aches after that, so now she sticks a camera down your throat to make sure you’re just lazy and not actually sick.

[alien-hunny]

Let’s get real for a second …

I wanted to share with y’all my highschool journey since i’m officially done with highschool !! I’ll be receiving my diploma on Saturday!!!!!

Freshman Year

I was shy and naive at the time, I had a huge circle of friends and I was depressed … When I first entered highschool I had this vision in my head of how it would play out, I was thinking I’d have life long friends and we’d go through highschool together… but that’s not how it went. I did however meet someone who i had a huge crush on and he’s now my boyfriend, at the time i was too shy to tell him how i felt so we remained friends but i’m happy we did (yes we got back together lol).. My friends ended up ditching me because my bestie at the time (the leader of the circle) was mad at me because a guy she liked , liked me … but i NEVER liked him or made him feel like i was interested. It wasn’t fair and i lost all my friends because of it , i fell deeper into my depression… but i moved schools towards the half way mark of the year. I reconnected with my kindergarten bestie and tons of my good friends from middle school and i had a great rest of the year with them, I was even a lot closer to my teachers . One teacher specifically her name is Mrs.Clark , she’s a rainbow of sunshine and I loved her as my math teacher so much! I definitely have plans in the future to revise that situation so that I can let that pain go in my heart and move on from it emotionally. I haven’t already because I don’t think ab it too much anymore and I want to do it when i’m ready.

Sophomore Year

I was weary about going back to the same highschool i originally went to, i missed my friends and felt like i didn’t belong at this school. Despite that going back to school meant i get to see him again . We had one class together and during summer we kinda fell off but I just loved seeing him , he’s so funny lol. It didn’t matter tho we didn’t become close this year because i ended up in the hospital maybe a month or two before quarantine and i was with another guy at the time . (fuck him) I found out that I had a brain tumor but it wasn’t life threatening and i wasn’t really worried . (It’s gone now I manifested it away 😁) But i was unable to attend school and i spent the rest of mt sophomore year in and out of the hospital…. and then quarantine hit ….

Junior Year

THE ABSOLUTE WORST YEAR ! I spent my entire junior year in the house , distant learning … I was so depressed at this time , I didn’t attend online school at all really. For the first time in my academic career I had Fs and Ds . (I’ve revised this lol) But it was despicable lol I hated online schooling with a passion. All I did was sleep and go to my ex’s house. (boyfriend at the time) Buttttt guess who I had an online class with … my boyfriend now lol. We always had one class together throughout highschool which has to be a sign or fate or something magical lol .. junior year sucked moving onnnnn

SEXY SENIORRRRRRR

Now senior year 😏 that’s my nigga right there . I absolutely loved my senior year and that’s mostly thanks to my new found info of the law of assumption and my amazing lover . We reconnected over the summer before school started and ended up dating in June of 2021 😩 he’s been my rock for almost a year now and our friendship goes back to freshman year 🤞🏾 i love Danté with all my being . Anywhooo I didn’t have many friends but I don’t need/want them really . I had amazing teachers that I connected with on personal levels , Mr.Brown !!! AN AMAZING BLACK EDUCATOR YALL !!!!!!!! He deserves an award for best educator at that school okayyyy, he’s inspirational, he’s funny and most importantly he’s real. He understands us and tries his hardest to be there for us . He is definitely the schools Dad ! He was my African American Experience teacher 😌 and my favorite teacher of all time! I’m gonna cry at graduation when I see him for sure 🥹 I know he’s proud and he’s been an amazing teacher yall , i wish i could take him to college with me man (i’m defff manifesting that hehehehe) I made myself so proud this year , I was working pretty hard before i got into the void so i’m proud of those efforts and happy to say i don’t have to work hard unless i want to . It’s relieving asf 😩😩😩 Prom was amazing i had so much fun dancing with my boo and some friends . I even got a dance with Mr.Brown lol he got more rhythm then everybodyyyy 😂 don’t play w himmm ! Overall tho my senior year was everything i originally hoped highschool would be 😫 Im so happy to be graduated and done! 13 long years of school and NIGGA WE MADE IT !

To All The Class of 2022 :

We FUCKING DID IT !!!! Despite everything we made to the finish line . I hope everyone holds their heads high walking across that stage and even if u don’t want to walk across the stage baby hold ur head high and pat urself on the back ! We get to be adults now live in the real world , create families and lifelong memories . We get to find ourselves and chase our dreams ! Be who we want to be. Our generation is different from anyyyy generation. We are breaking curses and healing trauma . Our kids will be damn proud and i say DAMN PROUD of our sacrifices as a generation. We made it through covid despite not having hope . We are the class of 2022 and we’re here to make our mark on the world !!

I love y’all - Aalena out 🫶🏾

[otogariado]

15 questions!

supposed to be 15 mutuals too but i'm still too shy to tag people on this blog BUT if you don't mind getting tagged in posts like this then feel free to like this post & i'll tag you in the future. teehee

i was tagged by @stripesysheaven 💖💖 thank you

1. are you named after anyone?

my deadname is probably inspired by some french royalty. i did nickname myself after a videogame protagonist though, even though i don't use that nickname much any more

wait actually i'm vaguely remembering smth abt my mom supposedly naming myself after a local actress. that works too if that's true

2. when was the last time you cried?

very recently because i was very sad. but also it's easy for me to cry bc of stuff i watch. i teared up during three different moments while watching the new puss in boots movie

3. do you have kids?

no. probably never. it's a very big responsibility

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

not a lot, just sometimes. usually just to be funny or when i'm ranting to someone abt an anecdote in private. i like making it apparent when i do though. "i DONT use sarcasm at all NOT using it right now. what makes you say that"

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

recently competed in badminton doubles!! with strangers i met like minutes before the matches started haha. we were short on people. i'm not Very Good at any particular sport but i'll play most things for fun. i miss doing frisbee class

6. what's the first thing you notice about other people?

i'm always So Scareds of people so it's hard to answer this question... probably the way they speak? i don't have to be looking at people to notice that

7. what's your eye colour?

almost black, deep brown thangs

8. scary movies or happy endings?

schmaltz forever

9. any special talents?

i can follow sheet music on the spot (just give me the pitch and i'm good) and i'm good at bullshitting melodies i've never sang before

10. where were you born?

born and raised and still here in the philippines

11. what are your hobbies?

watching shows and movies and getting incredibly emotionally attached to fictional characters and thinking about them too hard is my #1 hobby. aside from that i like listening to video essays/podcasts, drawing, writing... i also like walking. once i learn how to ride a bike i'd like to do that regularly too

i need more physical crafty hobbies, i just don't have the space/space management skills to do them rn... i used to do a lot of paper crafting as a kid

12. do you have any pets?

toothless is a... tuxedo cat? he's technically my grandpa's but i consider him my little guy too

they're my cousins' but i also live with two dogs :) toffee (middle) who is a very bitey puppy. he's aspin but he probably has some fancy breed in his blood or smn bc his fur is very soft. and betsy (right, jailed for crimes. she doesn't mind) is a shih tzu and they've had her for a few years now C:

13. how tall are you?

i hate checking my height cz i might shrink again. probably around 5'6"

14. favorite subject in school?

i loved math and science in grade school. in high school i enjoyed lit a lot more. pending answer for college lol

15. dream job?

my cousin once brought up the idea of us owning a bar/cafe/resto thing together. it would be nice!

[gale-in-space]

oooh, camellia for the ask game?

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

Ohhhh this one's gonna be sad kinda (mostly for me).

Holy SHIT this got long, throwing this under a cut. Read or ignore at your discretion.

I used to be pretty hyperactive and rambunctious as a kid. I loved being a tomboy, I loved wearing paint-stained button-downs, I loved to run, I loved pretending I was a dragon tamer and an astronaut and a warrior cat and a fairy, I loved riding horses (I only did it like once or twice but I loved it), I loved snakes and bugs and lizards and all sorts of creepy crawlies, etc, etc.

And then I got shy. Really shy. I never raised my hand in class and I got all panicky when I was called on. I didn't have friends really, because everyone thought I was weird (and they were right lol) and I dressed weird, too. I was bad at sports and I made bad jokes. I got picked on a lot, and when I told my teachers, they rolled their eyes and told me I needed a thicker skin. So I got shy. I would always bury my head in my hands on my desk and hoped everyone would leave me alone. This lasted through the end of elementary school and into middle school.

In middle school friends happened to me, but they didn't actually like to hang out with me. I got into anime (shudders) and started drawing. I wasn't very good at it but everyone started knowing me as "that weird girl that draws in class all the time." I also started writing a lot, and even got into a writing conference in the 5th grade (I panicked and didn't write anything the whole time). I also wrote my first essay on capitalism and climate change then (I'm sure it didn't make any sense at the time). I hated math and science. Like, really hated it. I also started calling myself stupid and talentless then and started believing it. I think these things are related somehow.

I got really into clarinet playing around this time, too. I fell deeply in love with it and my teachers were so proud of how good my tone was. I joined marching band and pit orchestra in high school and found my home in music. I just... I loved it so much. I felt safe playing my music. I felt like I could actually do things for once (and I got really arrogant about it too, always bossing around the clarinets that didn't get as good of a chair placement as me). I made first chair each year.

I still hadn't come out of my shell though, but I had started to get a reputation as being somewhat funny. I liked to act, even if I didn't go out for plays. I loved to write satirical essays and I fell in love with Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" at the age of 17. And I thought to myself, I want to be an English teacher and do some writing on the side. Because that was what I was good at.

Nope!

A friend had hooked me up with a Psychology class and I was like "whatever I guess I'll try it, I need credits anyways" and I. Instantly fell in love lmao. It just came so naturally to me. We're talking straight A's all the time, baby. I wrung my fingers about taking a college course in it my last semester of high school (I was convinced I was too stupid to get into College despite being an honor's student) and whaddaya know. I loved that, too. More A's. So I packed my bags on the English Teacher Front and went to college to be a therapist or some shit.

I hated my first year of college. I worked at a hot dog stand and came home smelling like ketchup and beef every night. I quit playing clarinet due to social anxiety and I made absolutely zero friends. Classes were easy until they weren't (Biology was the worst), and I hated myself and wanted to die. I did find some solace in fandom, however - I joined tumblr and became a Tolkien blog and started crafting my own sequel to the Lord of the Rings. That was literally the only reason I kept living at that point - for my weird characters and my extensive google docs about them. And for the Schmidt. What's a Schmidt, you ask? Why, it's coffee, half-and-half, and white chocolate and caramel syrup, all served at the local campus cafe. Delicious.

Anyways. I transferred to a lesbian all women's college and continued my education there. I was forced out of my shell kicking and screaming through courses on "social interaction" and it... actually worked, I'll be damned. I started participating in class more. I wasn't making friends, but I actually talked to people now. My grades shaped up a bit too (not that they were low before, I just happened to be putting a little more effort into my classes. I still wrote my experimental paper the day it was due though. I ace'd it against all odds. Procrastinator's bluff). Whatever. I became a tutor, study group leader, mentor, etc etc. I got an award for psychology and endeared myself to my professors. I graduated with high honors and fell in love with a trans man and decided I was also a trans man blah blah blah got a job at a medical school + hospital yada yada yada this paragraph needs to end already.

Okay. Three years later. I'm an entirely different person (literally). I like medicine now, despite being extremely squeamish (working on that bit). I like space again, despite having hidden that aspect about myself for all my life. Like I really love space. I can't ever be an astronaut sadly, but maybe one day I'll get to work for NASA or something. I'm trying not to get my hopes up though. Only the best of the best end up there.

What else... idk, I'm somehow more mentally ill than I ever was, but at the same time, more stable? I'm deeply in love with my two partners and have survived two hospitalizations. I'm trying to get off my cocktail of medications because it turns out psychiatric meds kiiiiinda don't work that well but it is what it is. Also I'm a witch now. Aaaaand I'm going back to school in the fall, for pre-med. Yeah.

Okay well that was. Way longer than it needed to be so. Yeah. Thanks for the ask :)

[kirillsochnev]

September 1st

First day of school! Nothing too interesting. They play those soviet hymns in the morning, which is good, I guess. Makes me feel like I didn't miss out on 16 years and USSR breaking up. Very loud and persistent, though. But i like it. Reminds of my pioneer days, and the summer camps.. Went to work out in the morning with Seva and Edik. Seva almost died from strain XD

Carrie got sick and stayed in her room all day. There were no lessions anyway, just games for the whole school.

When we sat in class for organization, that kazakh girl, Altyn, told me some rumors about Goar. Apparently, she's having issues with her fiancé. Useful information, I guess it's good to know someone *that* involved in gossip.

Teamed up with Sonya and his brother (?) for that. Technically, you're supposed to team up with your parents, but there was no way they'd show up. Guess I'm lucky Sonya's parents were also busy. Does he even have them? I bet he has like, 20 sibilings.

Made Azovka bring some candy from the games to Carrie. She better appreciate that.

September 2nd

First lessons today. Just math and russian, nothing much. Altyn got even more info today: apparently, Goar and her fiance from out of town had a falling out, and he asked for the proposal ring back, but she doesn't have it?

Seva got threatened by that asshole in our class. He's a friend of Seva's 'worst enemy', which is just some gopnik kid, Gleb. Seva used magic on him and they've been trying to avenge him since. That kid is crazy. Apparently he learned magic. Idk how, I just kinda do it, and he has some specific ass rituals to do it.

Mila caught a dust spirit and brought it to lunch. Kind of gross, this ball of dust in the middle of the cafeteria.

Carrie's still sick. Went to bring her some food after class, ran into Altyn again. She's pretty, but totally has nothing on her mind besides gossip.

When i went back to our dorm, Seva was screaming about some crazy shit. Turns out me, him and Edik had the same dream about a chained-up old lady for the last two days. One chain link breaking every night. Definitely weird, but Seva went paranoid with analyzing it. World ending and shit. Maybe we should look into that. 10 more chain links- something's going down on the 12th.

After Seva managed to chill he told us it's his birthday. Edik and I practically dragged him to a bakery to get a cake, brought Mila and Sonya with us. The bakery's run by Mila's aunt. Bought a whole carrot cake. Then we headed back to school, but that's a 30-minute walk across the whole city. So we run into Gleb's gang on our way back. What a coincidence! Gleb tried to threaten us, and Seva told him to fuck off. Nice. Before they tried to fight, I used my magic charms. Didn't work on Gleb, but worked on his girl. Then something weird happened. Gleb's friend punched him, and they got really crazy, so we just kinda ran away to not deal with them. Grabbed Gleb's girl while we were running. Her name's Taya. Stopped by the train station and ate cake there. Even Taya got a piece- we talked a little bit. Sonya traded some cake for beer from a homeless guy. We hung out until sundown. Beer's gross, but Taya was drinking it, so I did too...

I left the others to walk her home, cause it was getting late. I mean, I doubt she'd get into any trouble, she seems strong and like she doesn't take any shit. Very much a gopnik, but there's something about her... It's strange how a trashy girl that drinks beer and wears adidas tracksuits acts so shy when I compliment her. That's what it is. I kissed her on the cheek before she left. Don't know why. Seemed like a right thing to do.

[down-in-dixie]

Fill in the blanks

Basics

What’s your name: Lauren. Do you have a nickname: No. Do you have a middle name: Nicole. Do you like your name: I do. Do people often mispronounce your name: It really isn’t that hard to pronounce. Do you like the meaning of your name: It's okay. When is your birthday: December 10th. How old are you: I'm in my 30s. Do you like your age: There's nothing wrong with it. What’s your zodiac sign: Sagittarius.

Appearance

What’s your hair colour: Dark brown with just a hint of red that's barely noticeable. Is your current hair colour your natural hair colour: It is. Do you dye your hair: No. I feel like it would be too much of a hassle. When was the last time you had a haircut: I had it trimmed a few months ago. What length is your hair right now: It hangs a little ways past my shoulders. Do you have straight, wavy or curly hair: Slightly wavy. Do you have frizzy hair: It does get a bit frizzy when I’m out in the humidity. Do you use a curling iron: No. Do you use a hair straightener: Only on my bangs. Do you braid your hair: I do when it’s long enough. What’s your eye colour: Bluish-gray with green. Do your eyes change colour: It seems like they do but I can't say for sure. Do you wear contacts: No. I can’t stand putting stuff in my eyes. If so, do you use colour contacts or regular contacts: Do you wear glasses: No, but I need to buy a pair. My eyesight isn't as good as it used to be. Do you have naturally long eyelashes: They’re not that long. Do you wear braces: I’ve never had them. Do you have dimples: Nope. Do you have moles: One, right in the middle of my chest of all places. Do you have outstanding cheekbones: I don’t know. No one has ever said anything about them before. Do you have freckles: No. Do you have piercings: Two holes in each ear. I'm thinking about getting a third. Do you have tattoos: None as of right now. Do you wear make up: Yes, but it's always the bare minimum amount. Do you paint your nails: Sometimes, and the color is usually either black or a dark burgundy color. Do you wear jewelry: All the time. Are you happy with your height: I am.

Personality

Would you consider yourself outgoing or shy: I'm definitely NOT outgoing. Are you sarcastic: Me? Sarcastic? Never… What’s your guilty pleasure: Animation. Are you religious: I could care less about religion. Do you get along with people easily: I think so. Do you cry easily: Not really.

School

Do you go to middle school: I’m old enough to be a teacher at a middle school. Do you go to high school: See above. Do you go to a private school: I went to public school. Have you graduated from school: I graduated YEARS ago. What grade are you in: I JUST told you that I’ve already graduated… Have you skipped a grade: I WISH I had skipped a grade, but I wasn’t smart enough for that. Have you been held back a grade: Thankfully, I was never held back. Have you ever failed a class: I failed Algebra 2 my Junior year by one point (math was my weakness). And I wasn't happy about it. Have you been sent to the principals office: I was sent there once but it wasn’t because of bad behavior. Have you skipped school: I skipped quite a few times. Have you cheated on a test: I did once, got caught and never did it again.

Family

Do you get along with your parents: Most of the time. Do you tell your parents everything: They don't need to know everything. Do you have strict parents: Thankfully, they were never strict. Do you have siblings: One younger brother. Are you the oldest: Well, if I only have one sibling who is younger than me, then that would make me the oldest now wouldn’t it? Are you in the middle: See above. Are you the youngest: See above the above question. Are all of your grandparents still alive: They're all dead.

Relationships

What’s your relationship status: Happily single. Have you ever been in love: Once upon a time. Do you believe in love at first sight: No. I think you have to get to know a person before you can truly be in love with them. Lust on the other hand… Have you ever been in a relationship: Yes. Have you ever had a secret admirer: Yes, although it didn't remain a secret for very long. Have you ever been asked out on a date: Yes. Have you ever been kissed: Yes. Have you ever been cheated on: Not that I know of. Have you ever been proposed to: Yes, but it was done in a jokingly manner. Do you want to get married: I’m enjoying the single life too much right now to even consider it. Do you want kids: Hard pass. I prefer to keep what little patience and sanity I have left.

Country

Where were you born: The United States. Where do you live right now: The United States. Have you ever been out of the country: No, but I would LOVE to get the hell out of here. Do you prefer country or city: The country where it’s nice and quiet. Do you like sightseeing: Yes. Is one or more of your parents from another country: They’re both American. What places would you like to visit: I wouldn't mind traveling all over the world. Are you fluent in more than one language: I’m only fluent in English. What languages can you speak: Not fluently, but I’ve picked up a few words and phrases in French, Spanish, Korean, Japanese, and Russian.

Health

Do you have any allergies: I'm allergic to pollen and I think I'm starting to develop an allergy to grass as well. Are you lactose intolerant: No. Have you had surgery: Never. Have you had stitches: No. Have you broken a bone: No, just a few sprains. Do you exercise a lot: No, but I need to start doing it again.

Experiences

Have you ever had a near death experience: Yes. Have you ever been on a plane: No. Have you ever pulled an all nighter: I've pulled so many all nighters over the years that I've lost track of the amount. And I still do it. Have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night: Unfortunately. Have you ever been in a physical fight: Yes, but it was always with my brother. Have you ever been to a wedding: Several, and I’ve also been IN one. Have you ever been to a funeral: Sadly enough, I’ve been to more funerals than weddings. Have you ever lived in a different country: No, but I would like to. Have you ever been drunk: I don’t drink enough to get drunk. Have you ever been trick or treating: Of course, I was actually young once. Have you ever been in a school play: Yes. Have you ever been to a camp: I went a few times when I was younger. Have you ever driven a car: Yes, and I don't like it.

Skills

How many languages are you fluent in: Haven’t I already answered this question? Have you ever read a book in another language: I’m only fluent in English, remember? Can you roll your tongue: Yes. Can you braid hair: Yes, but I can only do a regular braid. I never learned how to do a French braid. Can you do a handstand: I used to be able to do one when I was younger. I don’t know about now.

Habits

Do you crack your knuckles: Yes, but I should probably stop doing it. Do you bite your nails: I haven’t done that in years. Do you bite your lips: Sometimes.

Favourites

What’s your favourite movie: Don't What’s your favourite TV show: Make What’s your favourite book: Me What’s your favourite song: Choose. I hate getting these types of questions… What’s your favourite colour: Black, purple, blue, turqoise and red. What’s your favourite animal: Cats(big and domestic), dogs / wolves and horses. What’s your favourite season: Fall.

This or That

Summer or winter: WINTER. I hate Summer. It's too hot and humid around here. Day or night: Night. Cats or dogs: I’m more of a cat person, but I do like dogs as well. Rain or shine: Both, but I only like the rain when I don't have to go out in it. Coffee or tea: Tea, although I will drink a mocha frappuccino every once in awhile. Reading or writing: Both, although I read more than I write. Humorous or serious: Depends on the mood / situation. Brown or blue eyes: Both. Single or group dates: Depends on the person / people. Texts or calls: Text. Driving or walking: Walking, but depends on the distance.

Last

Last phone call: My boss. Last text: Mom. Last song you listened to: Black Velvet by Alannah Miles. Last thing you ate: Caramel Creams candy. Last thing you drank: Sunkist. Last purchase: Some new watch bands. Last time you cleaned your room: Yesterday. Last time you’ve been on a date: It's been almost twenty years. I've basically given up on dating.

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing iv.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 2, 105

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

a glimpse into the past

Jungkook’s been to a total of two graduations his entire life—one was his middle school’s graduation that seemed more like a farewell party and his older brother’s college one. Now, he can say that he’s attended three. But he’s never felt like this—never felt dread to say a temporary goodbye to a face he’s been so accustomed to seeing.

Maybe that’s why he’s in such a sour mood as his peers hugged their seniors' goodbyes, smiles on their face while they engaged in chatter about the future. Jungkook’s always been hard on parting and today is no different. Especially with the constant reminders at every corner of the hallways, streams of red and blue painting the ceilings with a big fat ‘happy graduation to the seniors!’ Mocking him on his journey to his classes.

He almost wants to slap some sense into himself. Because why was he terrified for the beginning of a new chapter that wasn’t his story to tell? Why was he dreading the moment that the seniors collected their diplomas and walked off the stage; and out of his life?

But he doesn’t do that; because the fear is as addictive as the excitement he feels when he thinks of you. A conflicting and tortuous juxtaposition of the beautiful day for a valedictorian and her younger friend.

“Jungkook!” A voice calls, and when he turns he sees Taehyung barrelling towards him with two people trailing closely behind.

When Taehyung plummets into Jungkook’s chest with an oof, but all Jungkook can focus on; despite the ache in his chest, is you.

You’re so pretty. But that’s nothing new for Jungkook. However, you were smiling, soft and sweet like the person who stayed up during her finals to tutor Jungkook on math concepts and the same girl who supported him through his football trials in junior year.

But you were grown, and the robe was the testimony of your age and maturity—the level of intelligence that you possess only grew with time and now you were walking towards him with a sense of quiet assuredness that he’s always admired you for.

Jungkook’s sure he’s gaping but he’s never been able to control himself around you.

“Can you stop gawking at her already?” Taehyung complains, twisting the skin between Jungkook’s armpit in retaliation.

Jungkook burns but scowls at the older boy who simply snickers in response.

“I’m so glad you’re graduating.” Jungkook snaps.

Taehyung snorts, “If I go she goes.”

Jungkook purses his lips as he readies himself for another retort, but you arrive and the first thing he notices is how gentle you smell. His favourite scent in principle, a whiff of laundry detergent accompanied with the light floral perfume he remembers his mother gifting you for your birthday.

“You’re gonna miss us, aren’t you?” Is the first thing Jimin says when he greets the younger boy with a ruffle to his head.

Jungkook glowers in embarrassment as he tries to fight him off, and despite his shorter stature in height—Jimin was in fact, quite strong.

Regardless of his flustered state, you smile at him warmly and perhaps Jungkook is biased when it comes to you because he’s sure you’ve always smiled the same, but every tilt of your lips evoke an array of different feelings in Jungkook’s chest.

“The two of you are like dumb and dumber so no—not really. God knows he’s finally granted my wish for emancipation.” Jungkook grumbles.

Taehyung feigns offence with a hand to his chest, leaning his head against Jungkook’s shoulders while he rolls his eyes.

Then he remembers you, the girl who just smiles as the world will always do her good.

“But I’ll miss Noona, though.” He says, and he hopes the shakiness of his voice isn’t obvious. “She’s the only one that doesn’t tease me.”

You grin up at Jungkook, giggling when Jimin and Taehyung gape at the younger boy’s audacity.

“Yah. You call her Noona and not us Hyung?!” Taehyung screeches were loud enough for the group of you to wince at his loudness.

“Don’t forget that you would have never have met her if it weren’t for us, you brat.” Jimin reminds, though not maliciously.

Jungkook does thank the stars for them introducing him to you. Because he doubts otherwise you’d ever interact with him. You were always in your own bubble, tucked away in a safe space filled with your own sense of solace and comfort. And Jungkook admired that.

He liked being alone, but he never wanted to be lonely. You were a breath of fresh air when you taught him the lines between loneliness and being physically alone; and how you learnt to never conflate the two. You were independent and bright, but warm and welcoming—and Jungkook remembers that these feelings weren’t just a floor away anymore.

“Ignore them, Kook.” You sigh. “Gonna miss you too.”

Jungkook feels himself melt because you say it so sweetly and sincerely.

Taehyung and Jimin ruin his love-blurred lenses by gagging at your blatant display of affection towards the younger boy.

“The two of you are so gross.” Jimin groans, earning a nod from his other half.

You roll your eyes when all Jungkook does is flush at the insinuation.

“Unlike the two of you, we make the better and more rational pair.” You chastise. “Don’t we, Kook?”

And the nickname he’s grown to love though he has a love-hate relationship with it slips off your tongue and he finds himself agreeing with you.

“These two idiots are a quarter of a brain-cell combined on a good day,” Jungkook mutters.

You burst out into laughter, rubbing a calming hand onto his shoulder and he feels the dread come in. Because this was no longer something he could reach out to when you went to college.

“Whatever.” Jimin scoffs.

Then the PA system sounds, and the principal calls for the graduates to gather at the hall. And it represents all of Jungkook’s worries in an announcement and he’s not ready to let you go yet.

“That’s our call.” You declare, eyes darting to the other seniors who pull apart from their juniors to rush to the hall.

Jungkook’s eyes widen one last time before Jimin and Taehyung both wrap their arms around Jungkook tightly, murmuring a much more sincere and grateful remark than their previous chides. And he feels slightly bad that he can’t respond because his brain is far more focused on your lone figure, who eyes him with sad yet gentle eyes.

“You’ll come to our role call, right?” Jimin asks.

Jungkook gulps because all he can focus on is your face.

“Y-yeah. Course’.” He mumbles. He feels the need to say something—do something before people crowd you after it’s over. Jungkook would never stand a chance.

He seems rooted in his feet, Jimin and Taehyung already trailing off with their arms around each other and words of their future in the air. You smile at Jungkook—and it’s the same—but his hands reach out before he can think twice.

Jungkook grabs your wrist before you can leave, gulping to himself when you stare at him with wide eyes.

“You okay?” You ask softly.

No, he’s not, because his heart is beating so fast and he doesn’t want this day to come to an end.

“I-I’m okay.” He chokes, “I just—don’t you have a parting gift for me?” Jungkook blurts before he can rationalise what the fuck did he even mean.

But Jungkook just stares at you like a deer caught in the headlights while you tilt your head at him endearingly. He hopes that his pulse doesn’t emanate from his grasp, but your wrist is small, and it feels just right in his palm.

Your lips are twitching as a grin threatens itself on your expression, and he sees the mischief in your eyes that come out every once in a while.

“Aren’t you supposed to be giving me a gift, Jeon?” You tease, and Jungkook is so soft.

He snorts, a little glad that you didn’t point out his sudden grip on your wrist.

“But you’re leaving me.” He pouts.

You roll your eyes and take a step closer to him until you’re directly in front of him. And he sees your features up close and God—did he say you were pretty?—well because you’re even prettier up close and he loses all sense of thought when you’re smiling up at him with bright eyes.

“I’m always a call away.” You say softly, gently tugging at his hand; and it’s crazy to think that you were the same older girl that was usually timid reaching out to him in a way that was shy but so you.

Even with the chattering of other students, Jungkook only hears your subdued voice.

“It’s not the same.” Jungkook sighs, and he’s slightly aware that he was whining. But you don’t seem to be bothered.

“You’re probably going to forget about me.” You scoff and it’s light, but he can see the slight furrow of your brows. “You’re Jeon Jungkook. You’ll do great.” You add softly.

Jungkook purses his lips and wants to tell you that it wasn’t possible. You took up space in his life, both in school (well, not anymore) and in his mind. You and your wonderful mind.

“Says the valedictorian.” Jungkook huffs.

You pout, “You know that isn’t long-term. What if I just peak in high school and … you know …” You sigh, shaking your head, “I’m not outgoing like Jimin or a social butterfly like Taehyung. Neither am I as friendly and likeable like you are, Jungkook. I’m just … boring.”

Jungkook freezes because while he knew you were on the shier side; the louder than life tendencies you had were small but abundant. You didn’t need to speak louder than anyone in a room to get your points across, you were soft and empathetic and led people in organisations to see the good in the work they did.

Your genuine nature drew people in, even though you’d flush under attention and praise—and if Jungkook could—he’d scream it out to the world. But you were in front of him, and he figured that was enough.

“Don’t say that.” Jungkook snaps and his tone causes you to flinch as you stare at him with wide eyes, “Don’t … put yourself down like that. You’re great, _____. You’re intelligent and kind. Just because you’re different doesn’t mean you’re boring. There are situations in this world that need people like you. There are people that find comfort in a quiet soul because you’re introspective and thoughtful. People like …”

Jungkook exhales when you stare at him so earnestly, and his ears turn red. “People like me. We need people like you in our lives.”

Your mouth falls open as you blatantly stare at Jungkook with wide eyes; he’s on the border of being absolutely mortified and running away so he wouldn’t be the subject of your obvious ogling.

But then a soft smile makes its way onto your face, and you’re tugging Jungkook by the hand and into a warm hug.

Despite him being younger than you, he’s always been taller and bigger than you were. And it was a sense of security he felt in your presence rather than your physical entity that would never be replaced with anything else.

“You really grew up, huh?” You say, a giggle in your chest.

Jungkook rolls his eyes but accepts the way you rest your head on his chest. He’s never had you this close before, and he hates that it’s on the day he needs to say goodbye.

“I’ve always been this way.” Jungkook answers. He also thinks: I’ve always been here. For you.

“Thank you, Jungkook.” You say softly, pulling away even though Jungkook wants to keep you close.

“Anytime.” He smiles widely at you, and a classmate of yours calls your name as you turn to give them a nod of acknowledgement before you’re turning back to Jungkook with a cheeky smile on your face.

“Here’s your gift.” You inform him.

“I was kidding—”

And before you can respond, you’re placing both hands on his shoulder and on your tippy-toes to deliver a kiss to his cheek.

Jungkook is stunned and he isn’t able to process it fast enough. But you’re already offering him an equally flustered smile with the tip of your ears turning red before you’re waving shyly and tittering off to the hall.

Jungkook blinks, and a hand reaches to touch his cheek.

He looks up, and groans—because how the hell was he going to survive high school now?

[honklore]

would you consider doing an au where dream is a high school teacher (maybe a math teacher or english teacher or something?) and he has been crushing on his colleague, maybe an english teacher or an art teacher, and his friends have been teasing him quite a bit for it since he hasn’t had the courage to ask them out, which is quite weird considering he’s usually so confident, but it’s just a lot of flirting and shyness between the two until he final caves and asks them out? maybe even some of the students had begun to call him out on not acting on it? it’s perfectly okay if you don’t wanna do this but thank you for reading it :))

you + me = <3 | dreamwastaken

(math teacher!dream, gn!reader, dream likes u oooooh, cute kids, writer knows nothing about chess or how chess tournaments work, you requested high school but i can’t read so i chose middle school sorry!! this is literally nothing like you requested pls forgive me but i has fun, proceed with caution)

song to listen to: roadtrip by dream

i am setting the scene to say that teacher!dream is hot!!!! like, rolled up sleeves and leather watch kind of hot !!!!!!!

dream with fluffy waves that he sometimes ties into a bun if it gets too hot,,, brown roots and blond hair, brown eyebrows, forest green eyes,,,,,, freckles,,,,,

teaches middle school math!! very patient w his kids!!! but also has been known to go on tangents so long that they last until the bell rings

he’s the teacher whose classroom the weird/shy kids sit in at lunch

reads up on his students special interests and tries to ask them about it and encourage them

doesn’t make kids write out their entire process during testing bc he understands some students work in their head and can’t <3

works with different methods to help each kid learn math in their own way

the sweetest ever omg i can’t imagine a nicer teacher than dream

has a open-policy snack cabinet in case some of the kids can’t buy their lunch

has rlly cheesy anti bullying posters on his wall but actually talks to his students about it and makes sure they know he is someone they can go to

okay this is supposed to be a love story not an i heart teacher dream story sorry

you’re the art teacher of the middle school!!! you are also one of the favorites when it comes to teachers

dream is sort of a practical logical comforter and you’re a more dreamy, imagination-based comforter

so the kids ofc have their favorites

you’re a wonderful teacher !!!!

you let the kids use art class as a sort of art therapy, giving them time to do whatever they want with colors and mediums of their choosing

and assignments are usually fun!! you make it fun by giving them good topics that encourage them to express their opinions and personalities !!!

dream has the FATTEST crush on you

it’s so big and he’s very bad at hiding it

literally buys an extra coffee friday morning

slips into your classroom like “oh? hey ___ ? didn’t expect you to be here!!”

you: “in my own classroom?”

dream: “ANYWHO!! they messed up my order AGAIN and gave me a caramel frappe instead of a matcha so you can have it”

he does this every week

new excuses sometimes but it’s always ur favorite flavor, sitting right beside his matcha in a lil cup holder

dream is the type of guy to make sure your fingertips touch when he hands you your cup

so he can blush about it later and pretend it means something

any time he needs supplies or something he goes to you first instead of the communal supply closet

during his break he’ll come in and try to talk to you while your kids are painting

you sometimes sit with him during lunch!! and the kids that all sit in his classroom love you, even if they don’t have art

and every time you do he stutters over his own words and his neck gets rlly red

the kids all give each other side eyes when he does this

math kids 🤝 art kids : tired of witnessing dream’s bad flirting skills

dream brings you a cupcake on your birthday and a little necklace w a crystal on it :/

“i googled crystals for protection!! because i want u safe always!! and i made sure it was sustainably sourced!! let me know if you don’t like it!!”

how could you not like it :(

his eyes are wide and almost worried and when you give him a big smile he gets so happy like :((

your students are just. super still behind their easels hoping this is the moment you’ll actually kiss him

but no

it isn’t until a few of your kids come up one day and ask about forming an official chess club

they need at least one teacher willing to supervise and go on tournament trips and stuff

half of the team asks you and the other asks dream

but they don’t communicate that to each other

so it’s a saturday when both you and dream show up to the school in your casual clothes, unlocking one of the rooms for the kids to practice in

you help some kids set up while dream takes a few to the side and begins to teach them the basics, since not everyone who joins is an actual player

some just wanted to be w their friends ^u^!!!

but dream keeps catching your eye over the sea of middle schoolers and it makes your cheeks heat up whether u want them to or not

the two of you becoming the unofficial parents of the middle school chess team; you take turns supervising but usually both go to trips for tournaments!!

there are six students who make up the chess team + a few who just come for the snacks and respite

and your team is actually so good they qualify for state

and it’s going to be an overnight trip !!

some parents have also agreed to come chaperone

the team is so excited!!! the entire team got to go even though only a few are competing

theres a lot of lovely support going around

your kids are expressive and bright, all wearing special t-shirts they made that count as “uniforms”

they are twelve and dgaf about what ANYONE has to say

puffy markers and all

and before the tournament they surprise u and dream with ur own shirts :(( they are so sweet omg

and ofc you and dream wear them!!! fashion be damned!!!!!

the shirts are like MR WASTAKEN LOVES HIS CHESS TEAM

TEACHER ___ LOVES THEIR CHESS TEAM

AND THERES AN IRON-ON PICTURE OF YOU GUYS AND UR KIDS — EVERYBODY IS CHEESING AND ITS JUST SO SO CUTE

man they just look up to you guys so much

they really needed a place to fit in and your club gave them that

even the ones who are HORRIBLE at chess are sitting in the bleachers with you guys, cheering on their friends ><!!

it’s all so wholesome omg

and your team ends up qualifying !!!!!!!! it’s huge !!!!!!! you all go out for celebratory milkshakes sponsored by mr wastaken !!!!!

and everyone falls asleep with a big smile on their face that night

the next day is full of driving,, and you and dream share a lil seat at the back of the bus

all the kids are winding down, listening to music or playing games on their phones

and dream is so warm, shoulder pressed against yours when he hands you one of his earbuds and is like ,,,, do you want to listen to music with me?

and ofc you do

so the two of you take turns picking songs

dream adds them all later to a playlist called ___ and dream’s epic roadtrip playlist

now that interstate is paved with memories amirite?

once all the kids are picked up at the school, you are about to call your roommate to come pick you up

but dream is like. i can drive you home

dream is that guy who drives with one hand and keeps the other on top of the gear shift <3

you’re just excitedly recounting all the kid’s faces and all the silly stories you were told in the hotel when dream is finally at your apartment complex

and he just bursts

“i really like you”

and you’re just. stunned bc you knew he was fond of you but you never thought he’d be brave enough to SAY it

“i like you too dream!!”

“would it be too cheesy to walk you to your door and kiss you goodbye?”

“maybe... but i like cheesy.”

thank you for requesting!!!

[sankyeom]

tattle-tale | l.sy

pairings: lee sangyeon x reader genre: teacher au, tooth-rotting fluff summary: in which teacher!sangyeon has a crush on teacher!you and anonymously leaves little gifts for you on your desk, only to one day be caught by your entire class word count: 5.9k series: sankyeom’s 2k followers celebration

masterlist

You loved your job, you really did.

Teaching little kids all day long was an absolute joy for you. But if you said recess wasn’t your favourite time of the day, you’d definitely be lying. “Finally,” you groaned as you took a seat on a sofa in the teacher’s lounge, a large cup of coffee in your hand as you closed your eyes.

Sangyeon, Jacob and Hyunjae – three teachers at your school that you considered close friends – shared knowing smiles. “Rough morning?” Jacob asked.

“I love my students,” you said, eyes still closed. “But they can be little devils sometimes.”

Hyunjae burst into laughter as Jacob and Sangyeon grinned. “They can’t be that bad?”

You opened your eyes to observe your colleagues. “It’s Emma’s birthday today. She brought cake for the entire class, and they ate the entire thing within the first ten minutes of first period,” you recalled in a monotone voice.

Jacob winced. “Sugar rush?” he guessed.

“You have no idea,” you complained, having flashbacks to your students running around the classroom and causing absolute chaos. “I would literally kill for some coffee. Or at least maim.”

Hyunjae pointed at your mug. “What do you call that?” he teased.

“Terrible teacher lounge coffee that hasn’t been warm for, like, an hour,” you observed as you took a sip of your coffee. Then, you winced and pushed the mug away from you. “I may be desperate for a good caffeine fix, but I’m not that desperate,” you mumbled as you got up to toss the contents of your mug down the sink.

Sangyeon’s eyes trailed after your retreating figure, a mindless smile on his face as he observed the way you glared at your, now empty, mug in disgust as if it had betrayed you. His gaze drew towards Jacob when his colleague cleared his throat, a knowing look in his and Hyunjae’s eyes as Sangyeon gave them an innocent smile. “Are you ever going to ask her out?” Jacob asked with a lowered voice.

Although he knew he had been caught, Sangyeon still made his attempt at playing innocent. “Ask who out?”

Hyunjae rolled his eyes. “Don’t pretend. You’re a really bad liar and you’re just way too obviously in love with Teacher Y/n,” he said, imitating your students when they call out to you.

Despite his best efforts, Sangyeon couldn’t hide the blush that appeared on his cheeks. As he opened his mouth to protest, you took your seat on the sofa opposite the trio, muttering to yourself about terrible coffee. Noticing the shift in atmosphere, you raised an eyebrow at your colleagues. “Did something happen while I was gone?” you wondered.

“No,” the three men chorused, which only made you more suspicious of them. With a shrug, you dismissed their odd behaviour, deciding that it was best not to pursue your curiosity. “So Y/n, did you ever find out who your secret admirer is?” Hyunjae wondered.

A small pout appeared on your lips. “No,” you sighed, clasping your hands together to rest on your knees.

For a few months now, you had been receiving little gifts on your desk when you stepped out of your classroom for your breaks or free periods. At first, they were just little things that lifted your mood in the middle of the day; sticky notes with funny faces and encouraging quotes, or small gummy and snack packets to give you energy at the end of your long day.

Then, the gifts started becoming a little more personal.

A gift certificate to your favourite coffee chain, packs of stickers or staples that you just so happened to be running out of, muffins from your favourite bakery, and even a beautiful leather-bound journal that you had mentioned you wanted to a few friends and coworkers.

You didn’t know who the gifts were from, but you desperately wanted to meet them.

Not only did they brighten your day every single time you got a new gift, but they seemed to be presents that were specifically purchased for you.

“Has anybody else been getting gifts?” you inquired.

“Not as far as I know,” Jacob denied, Hyunjae and Sangyeon humming in agreement. “Besides, aren’t the gifts all perfect for you?”

You nodded. “Most of them are things that I vaguely mentioned, or silently pined after. Sometimes they’re just little pick-me-ups like snacks, but they still seem to know my taste perfectly.”

Jacob smiled. “That’s kind of romantic,” he mused, causing Sangyeon to choke on the water he had been sipping. He coughed, leaning forward to place his mug down, and covered his mouth as he tried to catch his breath. You, Hyunjae and Jacob gave him looks of concern, which he immediately waved off.

“I’m good,” Sangyeon assured the three of you. “You-“ he coughed. “You think it’s romantic?”

“Of course!” Jacob said cheerily. “Gifts that fit her taste without ever revealing who sent them… A secret admirer. Super romantic,” he assured his friend, sending him a subtle wink when you weren’t looking.

“I just wish I could repay them somehow,” you sighed. “I feel like they make my days easier and I don’t even have a way to thank them.”

“I’m sure they’ll reveal themselves with time,” Hyunjae told you, probably in an attempt to cheer you up. “Maybe they’re just a little shy.”

“Maybe,” you echoed half-heartedly. The bell rung, indicating that recess was over and class would start again in five minutes.

“Coming?” Sangyeon asked, standing up to walk you to your classroom. Your classrooms were in the same corridor, even though Sangyeon taught fourth grade and you taught second.

You shook your head. “My kids have Gym right now, so I have a free,” you said. “I have some grading to do, so I’m just going to hang out here.”

“Not going to hunt for a better cup of coffee?” Sangyeon teased, copying the horrified face you made when you took a sip of the cold teacher’s lounge coffee.

With a laugh, you merely shook your head. “I’m too lazy to leave campus. Plus, I should probably cut down on my caffeine consumption anyway.”

“Right,” Hyunjae nodded. “I’ll remind you of that in three hours when it’s lunchtime and you’re completely worn-out from your seven-year-old students,” he said, saluting you in lieu of a goodbye. You waved to him, Jacob and Sangyeon as they left the lounge, taking out your bag to get to grading your students’ tests.

Since they were only second graders, the grading wasn’t exactly difficult, just time-consuming. By the time the bell rang to indicate Gym class had ended, you had just finished all of their maths tests. After stretching, you made your way over to your classroom so that you could be there before your students changed after Gym class.

Entering your classroom, you could already feel a bit of fatigue kicking in, and you cursed yourself for not getting a cup of coffee after all. Before you could wallow in your regret any further, you noticed the paper take-away cup on your desk. The bright blue sticky note on the cup instantly brought a smile to your face.

Don’t let the little devils wear you down too much. x

You picked the cup up, delighted that the coffee was still warm to the touch and relishing in the taste as you took a sip. “Secret admirer, you must be from heaven,” you muttered, grateful that your secret admirer had gone out of their way to make sure you were properly caffeinated.

“Teacher Y/n!” someone shouted, barreling into your classroom. Several students trailed behind, giving you similar greetings coupled with large beams.

“How was Gym?” you asked, putting your coffee down and listening to your students’ excited stories about who won the dodgeball game that day. “Well while you guys were having fun, I was working very hard to grade your math tests! Do you want to see how you did?”

Their cheers were enough for you to burst into laughter as you took their papers out of your test. “Teacher Y/n,” one of your students, Minho, raised his hand with big eyes.

The sight was absolutely adorable. “Yes, Minho?” you smiled.

“What did your secret Santa give you today?” he asked.

“Secret Santa is for Christmas time,” you corrected. “The person leaving me presents is just a nice friend,” you explained.

“Okay,” Minho nodded, eagerly absorbing your words. “What did your nice friend give you?”

“Something warm to drink,” you explained, pointing in the direction of your take-away cup before handing the seven-year-old his test back. “The teacher’s lounge has coffee but the coffee from my friend is from my favourite store.”

“Do we know your friend?” Sana, a little girl who always wore pigtails and a huge smile, asked.

“I think so,” you mused. “They work here at school.”

“Who is it?” she wondered. “Is it your boyfriend?”

You laughed. “It’s not my boyfriend,” you assured Sana. “I actually don’t know who it is yet. It’s a mystery.”

“Like Sherlock Holmes,” Minho piped up.

“Yes, like Sherlock Holmes,” you agreed.

“We can try and solve the mystery together, then!” the boy decided. “We just need to look at the clues.”

“Alright,” you allowed, having finished handing out the tests. “We can do that after we go over this test. Does anybody have any questions on the test that they didn’t understand?”

“That’s adorable,” Hyunjae laughed as you told him, Sangyeon, and Jacob about your students’ interest in your secret admirer. The four of you were sat outside at one of the picnic tables to enjoy the last few days of sunshine that autumn had to offer you. “Did they come up with anything?”

“They actually did,” you admitted. Sangyeon’s back straightened abruptly, curious about what your students figured out. “They decided that it’s definitely a teacher.”

“Really?” Sangyeon exclaimed, earning a weird look from Jacob and Hyunjae. “What makes them think that?”

“Well, I always get a little post-it note with all of my gifts,” you explained with a laugh. “And who uses post-it notes?”

“Teachers,” your three colleagues chorused.

“That’s pretty decent detective work,” Jacob complimented.

“My class certainly liked to think so,” you allowed, amused. “Anyway, my theory is that the admirer really is a teacher,” you added. “I doubt anyone other than other teachers have heard me talk about my favourite cafe, or which of my stationary is running low. I only ever talk about those kind of things in the teacher’s lounge or when I’m on lunch duty.”

“Sherlock Holmes indeed,” Hyunjae grinned, eyes crinkling at the outer corners. “Any theories on who it is?”

You sighed, shoulder drooping. “None at all,” you confessed. “Makes me feel kind of pathetic.”

“Hey, you’re not pathetic,” Jacob denied, putting his hand on your shoulder. “A little slow? Maybe. But certainly not pathetic,” you laughed, pleased at Jacob’s attempt to make you feel better.

“Teacher Y/n!” you heard Sana’s familiar voice as she ran up to you from the playground, her best friend Emma trailing after her.

“Hi girls,” you greeted. “Are you enjoying your lunch?” the two girls nodded.

“Emma, it’s your birthday today, isn’t it?” Sangyeon recalled from your rant at recess. The girl’s eyes lit up at his question, prompting her to nod her head excitedly.

“I’m turning eight,” she told him proudly.

Sangyeon beamed at her excitement, a fond look in his eyes. “Well I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Emma. You’ll have to tell me what presents you get when you come to school tomorrow,” he asked, which she immediately agreed to.

“I will, Teacher Sangyeon!” she promised.

Suddenly impatient, Sana crossed her arms. “Teacher Y/n, is Teacher Jacob your nice friend?” she wondered, pointing to where Jacob sat across from you.

“He’s a nice teacher friend, but he’s not the one who’s leaving me gifts,” you explained to the two girls. “Why do you ask?”

“We saw him touch your shoulder,” Sana explained. “We thought that meant he was your nice friend.”

“Sadly, you have the wrong guy,” Jacob said with a shrug. “But I’m going to try to help Teacher Y/n to find out who her nice teacher friend is. You guys already did a great job at helping her,” he added. Sana and Emma looked proud at the thought before they said their goodbyes, rushing off to grab the vacant swings before anybody else did.

“They’re so cute,” Hyunjae almost whined. “Why did I decide to teach sixth grade? Those kids aren’t cute anymore, they’re just savage.”

You grinned at the idea of Hyunjae being lightheartedly bullied by his twelve-year-old students. “You adore those kids, don’t lie to me,” you retorted. “And they’re still plenty cute.”

“They’re not that cute in sixth grade,” he denied, pointing in the direction Emma and Sana went. “And they don’t look at me with big, adorable eyes, or cling on to every word I say.”

“That’s just Y/n,” Sangyeon told them, smiling to himself as he dug into lunch. “My students are just two years older, and they don’t do any of those things to me.”

“You’re being modest,” you argued. “Emma looked at you like you told her she was the most special girl in the world when you remembered her birthday.”

“Maybe because it’s her birthday,” Sangyeon allowed, looking up from his food to smile at you. “But they look at you like that every single day. And it’s not just your students, either.”

His compliment made you blush.

The gifts started coming on a daily basis after the day you got a cup of coffee.

Almost every time you had a free period, a fresh cup of coffee would wait for you when you returned to your classroom, and sometimes baked treats from your favourite bakery would accompany it.

You tried staying in your classroom to see who your gift fairy was, but on days you stayed your admirer never came. It was almost as if they knew every move you were making; like they had heard it before or could somehow read your mind.

“Is one of you giving out my plans?” you questioned your colleagues one day.

Hyunjae simply raised an eyebrow at you. “Explain.”

So you did: “I feel like my secret admirer is always a step ahead of me,” you mumbled. “If I ever wait for them, they don’t show up, and if I send students ahead to wait in the classroom, they still don’t show up. I don’t know how they do it.”

“Maybe it’s one of us,” Jacob said, causing Sangyeon to send a small kick to his ankle as a warning. Hyunjae snorted, covering it up by pretending to cough. “Have you ever considered that?”

“I hadn’t, actually,” you realised absent-mindedly. “But if it was one of you guys then you’d just tell me.”

“Sure,” Hyunjae nodded. “Eventually.”

“Right,” you said, as if this was enough evidence to suggest it couldn’t be Hyunjae, Jacob, or Sangyeon. “So I’m back to square one.”

The bell rang, indicating the end of recess, and you stood up to go back to your classroom. “I love art class,” you sighed as you waved your goodbyes to Hyunjae and Jacob, and made your way to your classroom with Sangyeon. “It’s the only time they get to be rowdy and excited and I don’t have to make them calm down.”

Sangyeon laughed. “Sounds nice,” he agreed.

“What do you have next?” you asked.

“I’m free, actually,” Sangyeon said. “I always have a free after recess.”

“How come you’re always rushing off, then?” you wondered, since he had never sat with you in the teacher’s lounge during recess.

“I use it as my lesson-planning time, which I prefer to do in my classroom because I’m always forgetting little things that I need,” he admitted.

“Well you should hang out with me in the lounge some time,” you offered. “It has terrible coffee but I hear I’m pretty good company,” you joke, stopping at your classroom.

“I might take you up on that,” Sangyeon grinned, winking at you before he made his way to his classroom a few doors down.

You cursed yourself for feeling shy at his wink. Sure, Sangyeon was incredibly handsome. But you had enough to worry about with your secret admirer; you didn’t need a schoolgirl crush on one of your closest colleagues to top it all off.

You sighed. “Control yourself, Y/n,” you muttered to yourself, entering your classroom and starting to hand out the worksheets for the period.

You regretted ever saying that you loved art class.

After a sugar-filled recess, your class was more hyper than you had ever seen them and there was nothing that could be done to stop them. You had attempted multiple times to get them to listen to music or talk quietly, even going as far as to threaten them with staying on after lunch time to make up for the time lost during art class. You were about to lose your patience out of pure irritation and frustration when a knock sounded on the door of your classroom.

Sangyeon’s head popped in, a look of mild concern on his face. “Y/n, is everything okay?” he asked.

“Not really,” you admitted, running a hand through your hair in an attempt to curb your oncoming headache. “They won’t calm down. I’ve tried literally everything I can think of.”

“Mind if I give it a try?” he asked, earning an enthusiastic nod and a grateful smile from you. Sangyeon let himself in and stood at the front of the room. “Hi everyone!” he greeted loudly, causing your students to start to quiet down at the sight of a new face. “Thanks for waiting to start art class until I came,” he smiled, as if he was supposed to be there all along. “I’m Teacher Sangyeon from the fourth grade class down the hall.”

“He teaches big kids,” you heard Emma whisper to her desk mate. Cute.

“Teacher Y/n was just telling me how advanced and mature her second graders are. She even thought that I could come and teach them a little bit of fourth grade art since you’re all so far ahead,” Sangyeon complimented.

Gasps rang around the room, and you couldn’t be more grateful to him in that moment. “But you guys were pretty noisy when I came in. I’m not sure if you guys are really mature enough,” he trailed off, a look of concern on his face.

“We are!” Sana exclaimed, shushing her classmates with a stern expression. “We promise we are!”

“Well...” Sangyeon pretended to think for a moment. “If you guys can promise to be calm and good listeners, maybe I can still teach you like I teach fourth grade art. But only if you’re well behaved.”

In that moment, you were almost as entranced by Sangyeon as your students were.

Sangyeon took their silence as a promise and made his way over to your whiteboard, writing down his name and a few bullet points down. Then, he began to talk about being in the fourth grade and how different things would be from the second grade. He spoke with an air of confidence and kindness that made you realise why he became a teacher, and why all of his students loved him so much.

He was patient and informative without being condescending, and he took any questions and comments happily at any given moment. Sangyeon was definitely in his element, and it made him glow with relaxed joy.

You had always thought Sangyeon was attractive, but this was on a different level. He commanded the attention of all of your students and the way he just swooped in, giving up his entire free period to help you, made your heart swell with something akin to admiration. Sangyeon had your students giggling at his cheesy comments, and you found yourself smiling along with them, just as enchanted by him as your students were.

When he was done teaching, your students looked at him in awe and their eyes were dripping with respect and admiration. He dismissed them to lunch with your approval, and you practically leapt onto him when all your students left.

“Woah, what did I do to deserve that?” he wondered, wrapping his arms around you to return your hug nonetheless.

“Saved my class, and myself from a migraine,” you replied, sighing in relief. “Thank you, Sangyeon. Really. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I appreciate this,” you acknowledged, squeezing your eyes shut to relish in the hug. Sangyeon tightened his grip on you and sighed back, butterflies fluttering around his stomach.

Maybe he should just tell you that he’s your secret admirer, he considered.

“Of course, Y/n. You know that I’m always here if you need anything,” he said instead, pulling away from your hug to offer you a genuine smile. He wasn’t ready yet.

“I do,” you agreed with a nod. “And I can help you out anytime as well. Thank you. Let me buy you coffee or something as a proper thank you,” you offered, grabbing your bag without letting him reply.

“Not everyone is as obsessed with caffeine as you are,” Sangyeon retorted, gently nudging you with his hip to tease you.

“Hey, until they start selling it in an IV bag, I’m going to have to get my caffeine the old fashion way. C’mon, coffee shop three blocks away. My treat,” you smiled hopefully, holding up your wallet to jokingly entice him.

Sangyeon broke out into a large smile, eyes shaped like crescent moons. “I would love that,” he agreed, starting to erase his notes on the whiteboard as you clapped.

You watched him. “Your handwriting is beautiful,” you complimented, seeing the letters disappear. “I feel like I’ve seen it before,” you thought aloud, wondering why it looked so familiar.

“Really?” Sangyeon said, eyes wide as he sped up his process of erasing his lettering. “Probably in the yearbook or something.”

“Probably,” you dismissed the thought with a smile. “Now let’s go get our coffee on.”

After Sangyeon saved your art class, and your head from a brutal migraine, he started spending more time with you during your mutual free periods. Usually, you sat in silence in the teacher’s lounge as you did any grading or class prep that needed to be done, but with Sangyeon’s presence, your free periods were much more colourful and laidback.

Sangyeon had a lighthearted way about him; everything he said was assuring kind, and didn’t fail to make your heart flutter. Usually, you only ever spent time with Sangyeon when Jacob and Hyunjae were around, but being alone with Sangyeon was a different situation entirely. You had always known he was handsome and considerate, but he exuded a different kind of energy when he wasn’t surrounded by your friends.

As he sat next to you at one of the tables in the teacher’s lounge before the school day started, you couldn’t help but admire his profile; he was practically flawless. He had a long, slender nose and high cheekbones that made Sangyeon look more angular than soft. His deep brown eyes and pillow-soft lips-

“Y/n?” you snapped out of your trail of thoughts, realising that you had been blatantly staring at your coworker. Sangyeon gave you a concerned look. “You okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine!” you promised, clearing your throat and adjusting your shirt to give your hands something to do. “Sorry. What were you saying?”

The bell chimed, indicating that the school day would begin soon. You and Sangyeon stood up from your chairs and started collecting your papers. “I was just saying that I can’t stay with you during my free, I have some errands to run,” he explained, giving you a wave before he ran off to grab something from his car before class started.

You rose an eyebrow. “I don’t have a free today,” you mumbled to yourself, making your way to your classroom to start your first period class.

Sangyeon grinned, lifting the flower bouquet in his hand to smell the fragrant flowers once more, relishing in their sweet scent. You had told him about a little flower shop nearby that you noticed the other day, but you couldn’t bring yourself to buy yourself flowers because it felt a little embarrassing. Since you had a free today, Sangyeon figured it would be the perfect time to buy you some flowers and give them to you.

Anonymously, of course.

As Sangyeon snuck past the teacher’s lounge, he saw your bag on one of the chairs and quickened his steps so that you wouldn’t spot him as he made his way to your classroom. Checking the hallway, Sangyeon entered your classroom as quietly as he could as to not alert any other classes of his presence.

As carefully as he could, Sangyeon closed the door behind him and let out a relieved sigh when it silently shut. Smiling, he turned around to put the flowers on your desk.

Only to be met with the little faces of your entire class.

Sangyeon’s mouth fell open in shock, his eyes widening simultaneously as he realised the situation.

“Teacher Sangyeon,” Emma exclaimed, waving excitedly at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Um, hi class,” Sangyeon greeted awkwardly, making his way towards your desk. “I’m just leaving Teacher Y/n a little surprise, that’s all.”

Minho gasped. “You’re her nice friend that’s leaving her presents!” he realised, pointing his little finger at Sangyeon.

Knowing he was caught, Sangyeon nodded, hurriedly pulling a blue post-it note from his shirt pocket and writing you a little message to go with your flowers. “Yes, I am. But I would really like it if you guys could keep it a secret between us?” he pleaded. “Since I know you guys are so mature and clever.”

He knew that appealing to seven-year-olds’ will to be grown up was a low blow, but he didn’t have much time before you would return to your class.

“Of course,” Sana nodded her head. “We’ll keep your secret. Teacher Y/n is looking for her bag, she’ll be back any minute now!”

Sangyeon thanked her for her warning, giving your students a little wave before he darted out of the classroom and rushed to his own.

That was close. And he was probably screwed.

“Okay class, thank you so much for being patient,” you exclaimed, entering your classroom with your bag. “I’m sorry I left you guys to grab my bag but I’m so proud of you all being so mature and understanding,” you buttered up your students, feeling guilty for running around school like a mad person trying to find your bag.

“Teacher Y/n!” Minho raised his hand as far in the air as he could. “We know who your nice friend is!”

You froze in place from where you were writing on the whiteboard, knowing exactly who he was talking about. “You do?” you echoed.

“Hey,” Sana cried out. “We’re not supposed to tell!”

That’s interesting. You knew that if whoever your secret admirer was had convinced your class to keep their identity a secret, it meant that your class trusted and respected them.

“I don’t care,” Minho retorted, crossing his arms. “We’re supposed to be Sherlock Holmes and help Teacher Y/n, remember?”

You smiled; those kids were truly too cute.

“Oh,” Sana seemed to be struggling with making up her mind. “Well, I suppose you’re right. We did promise Teacher Y/n first.”

“Was my nice friend here?” you asked, spotting the bouquet of flowers on your desk, accompanied by the usual blue post-it note you received with all your gifts.

“He was,” Minho nodded. “Teacher Sangyeon came while we were waiting for you and he brought your flowers.”

Something fluttered in your stomach, excitement at the revelation of your secret admirer making your heart pound just slightly faster. “He did?” you said, so quietly it was almost a whisper.

“And he wrote you a note with a blue post-it!” Emma added. “We were right! Your nice friend is a teacher.”

You smiled, picturing Sangyeon trying to convince your students to keep his secret. He must have snuck in because he thought I had a free period, you realised. “Well, you guys are very good detectives,” you complimented. “Just like Sherlock Holmes.”

When you dismissed your students for lunch, you couldn’t help but sit at your desk as they all filed out to admire the flowers. It was a beautiful mixture of white roses, pink peonies, and beautiful green and purple wildflowers. The post-it note must have been more rushed than usual, because it had a simple message that said he hoped you liked the flowers instead of their usual buttery, warm message of encouragement.

No wonder Sangyeon’s handwriting looked so familiar, you thought as you traced the letters on the post-it note with your pointer finger. The loops of his lettering perfectly replicated those that were written on the whiteboard when he helped you with your art class a few weeks ago.

After assigning your students their work for the last class, you couldn’t help your mind from wandering to Sangyeon, and how you should confront him about being your secret admirer. Making up your mind, you got up from your chair and plucked the flowers and post-it note from your desk before exiting your classroom and walking down the hall.

Knocking on the door of Sangyeon’s classroom, you waited patiently for him to greet you at the door. “Y/n,” his eyes lit up when he recognised that it was you. “Come in, you don’t need to knock,” Sangyeon ushered you in, opening to door for you.

“Thanks,” you smiled, stepping inside. “So, I got another gift from my admirer,” you told him, holding up the flowers. “If I can even call them an admirer.”

“Why shouldn’t they admire you,” Sangyeon said with a small shrug, moving to wipe his whiteboard.

“Say,” you began, holding up the post-it note. “This looks a lot like your handwriting.”

Sangyeon dropped the whiteboard eraser with a loud clatter, cursing quietly before apologising for the noise and going to pick it up. “Oh, um, really?” he wondered, panic rising in his chest.

“Really,” you confirmed, making your way next to him and holding up the post-it for you both to compare to the white board. “See? Your lettering is super similar,” you said, as if you didn’t already know that Sangyeon was your secret admirer.

“Huh,” Sangyeon hummed. “Weird.”

“Isn’t it?” you agreed, smiling. “These flowers are beautiful though, aren’t they?”

Feeling nervous, Sangyeon only gave you a weak smile. “As long as you think so…”

“They’re from that little flower shop I was telling you about the other day,” you told him, recognising the name of the shop on the ribbon that held the bouquet together. “Isn’t that ironic? That they got the flowers from there.”

“Well it’s only a few blocks away so I’m sure other people know about it,” Sangyeon retorted, pretending to go through the papers on his desk to act as if his heart wasn’t beating at the sound of a tuba.

“I also got coffee from my favourite cafe, pastries from my favourite bakery, and any piece of stationary that I complained to you about being low on,” you listed off the different gifts you had received.

Sangyeon opened his mouth to retort, but when he lifted his head to meet your eyes, he knew immediately that he had been caught. “You know, don’t you?” Sangyeon mumbled, red flushing the tips of his cheeks and ears.

“Minho ratted you out,” you confessed, not wanting to take credit for figuring it out.

Sangyeon laughed. “Tattle-tale,” he muttered, eyes gleaming with mischief. “So you were just having fun, teasing me as if you were figuring it all out right in front of me?”

“Hey,” you exclaimed. “I figured the handwriting thing out on my own.”

“Really?”

“No. I just connected the dots after Minho told on you,” you admit, shrugging your shoulders. Sangyeon chuckled, picturing your class telling on him as you lean back against his desk. “I’m glad it’s you,” you revealed, making Sangyeon smile shyly at you.

“How come?” he wondered.

“Well, you’re pretty cute,” you teased, earning an eye-roll from Sangyeon. “And you’re just… I don’t know. You’re really special. The way you interact with your students and how you never fail to give up your free time to help me, or keep me company…” you trailed off, noticing how a more serious expression fell across Sangyeon’s face. “Why didn’t you tell me that it’s you?”

“I didn’t know if you wanted it to be me,” Sangyeon said, tucking his hands into his pant pockets. “You’re one of the most loved teachers at this school, by the students and the faculty. You’re funny, and kind, and beautiful, and I thought you were out of reach.”

“I’m not out of reach,” you shook your head, moving closer to the brunet man. “Not at all.”

“And you’re really happy that it’s me?” he wondered.

“Hm,” you pretended to think. “Let me get back to you on that one,” you teased. “Yes Sangyeon, I’m really happy that it’s you.” Sangyeon beamed, pleased with your response. “That’s your cue.”

“My cue?” he asked.

“Yes, your cue,” you emphasised, trailing your hands up his chest to play with his tie. An understanding look filled his eyes and Sangyeon leant down to kiss you, closing his eyes as you felt each other’s breath against your faces.

The door to Sangyeon’s classroom opened noisily.

“Yo, we were just-“ Hyunjae’s shriek cut off Jacob’s words as the pair realised the position that you and Sangyeon were in.

“Guys, you can’t do that during school hours!” Hyunjae exclaimed, looking scandalised. “Jacob, I’ll cover your eyes and you cover mine,” he said dramatically, causing the two of them to flail about in an attempt to cover each other’s eyes with their hands.

You rolled your eyes, releasing Sangyeon’s tie and leaning back with a sigh. Sangyeon gave you a sheepish smile but cast your friends an exasperated look. “You guys are lame,” you accused.

Jacob laughed, releasing Hyunjae. “So you finally figured it out?”

“I wish. Some little tattle-tales told me all about it after catching him,” you motion to Sangyeon.

Hyunjae cackled. “Genius. C’mon, let’s get lunch. I’m starving,” he moved on quickly, uninterested in your new relationship with Sangyeon. “No kissing on school grounds, either. Let’s go,” he cheered, marching out with Jacob in tow.

You laughed, always amused by your coworkers and friends. “Let’s get lunch,” you agreed with Hyunjae, sending Sangyeon a smile.

As you moved away, Sangyeon caught your arm and gently pulled you back. “School hours are over in two periods,” he reminded you with a cheeky smile.

“Dinner?” you offered, earning a nod.

“I’d be crazy not to go,” Sangyeon exaggerated. “You’re paying, though. I’ve bought you enough food and drinks to last at least a few dinner dates,” he winked.

Laughing, you nodded, pulling him out of his classroom by his hand. “It’s a deal.”

note: the first fic in my 2k followers celebration event is up!! i’m so excited to see what you guys think about it, please let me know and thank you again for 2,000 followers 💛🌻

[fukurodaze]

tryhard

pairing: suna rintarou x fem!reader genre: flangst wc: 3.2k warnings: cursing!!, uncomfy vibes, it’s the ‘good friend but shitty boyfriend’ type beat synopsis: inarizaki high’s second year trip to kyoto is infamous for its many rendezvous. you just happen to want to follow the trend.

special thanks to kei @keistays​ for beta reading! ily <3

LISTEN TO: gimme love - joji; cool girl - dodie; bags - clairo

“hey.” your hands are shoved in your coat pockets, your boots hitting against the asphalt as a small puff of smoke escapes your mouth. you meet him at the back entrance of the inn. 

he looks up from his phone. “oh, hey. let’s go.”

his shoulders are lax, but his feet tell you otherwise. he scurries along the street, then stops to wait for your slower footsteps. the stoplight is green, but he doesn’t mind waiting for you.

you don’t say anything as he looks at you with tired eyes, a light red across his cheeks. you wish it wasn’t so cold - maybe then you’d know if it was you who had that effect on him.

the light is red now, and you feel your heart pound in your chest as you stand beside him, eyes flickering every now and then to check his blank face. 

“where are we going again?” you inhale a bit of the cold air, nuzzling your face into the thick scarf around your neck. 

“kamo river.” 

“can we walk along gion too?”

suna shrugs. he tells you, “sure. whatever you want.”

the cars are less at night. only the bright green-yellow-red of traffic lights and the faraway warm glow of street lamps stay behind. kyoto’s beautiful, you think. you wish you could hang around for hours here with suna without a care for anyone else.

as soon as you two cross the first road, he lets out a sigh of relief. you then see him chuckle, almost silently. the sight of it makes you smile.

“are you hungry?” he asks.

“we can get snacks, maybe.” you’re caught off-guard at his sudden change of demeanour. or maybe you just don’t know him enough yet.

you’ve had so many questions about this boy for so long, and now that you’re here in kyoto with him - when you’re not allowed to be out, nonetheless - you’re not sure where you stand with him. 

you were introduced to suna rintarou as osamu’s friend and the notorious middle blocker of the school volleyball team. you’re friends with the girls on the cheer squad - the same ones who would always teeter between the lines of friendship and romance with some of the boys on the school's sports teams. you only know the middle blocker by association. your interactions were limited to random glances as you brought your math paper down the room and the rare hello’s when you’d pass by his desk in the morning. 

there was also the one time when the volleyball club planned a birthday surprise for suna and just had to assign you the role of the “distraction” because you weren’t in any “important clubs.” firstly, ouch, and second, why you?

yet it seemed like suna didn’t have a problem as you awkwardly approached him on the morning of his seventeenth birthday, seeing as osamu had weirdly been absent on his best friend’s birthday. 

suna talked to you like a friend, and though he seemed uninterested in you at first, you made sure to spare him the purple chuupets from the canteen, telling him that you’d rather have the white ones instead.

you didn’t really think it was a coincidence when he left you three white chuupets on your desk on valentines day. so when you texted him about it, he gladly told you they were from him. since then, there always seemed to be an elephant that entered the room whenever you were with him.

it didn’t bother you at first, but as text conversations run late and a fluttering feeling in your chest arose, there’s a question that repeats itself in your head.

you heard it the most when he texted you tonight, telling you he couldn’t sleep, and judging from the way you had stayed up until the crack of dawn texting him on multiple occasions, it only felt right for him to ask you. you told him to meet you outside, discreetly, at half past midnight, when the teachers had stopped patrolling.

suna rintarou only texts you when nobody else is awake. suna rintarou only smiles at you after the first crosswalk, when you’re further away from the inn. 

but suna rintarou also follows your every word with a question. suna rintarou also gave you, only you, something for valentine’s.

the question still stands: what are we?

the convenience store is no different to any of the ones back in hyogo. bright saturated colours and white fluorescent lights make you squirm in your almost sleepy daze. but your heart beats so fast and your skin is so cold that you’ve convinced yourself that sleep is not an option. 

suna’s arm brushes yours as you two walk through the aisles, and he reaches for the warm drinks.

“we’re going to be walking some distance to the gion. better not have you fall asleep.”

you pick out a pack of chips from the shelf, and you raise your eyebrows at him, silently asking him if he wanted any. he nods, and you take four.

suna offers to carry the shopping bags as you two begin your little adventure through the city, wary of the closed shops and dark alleyways but enamoured by the old town nonetheless. you’re not surprised to be the one leading the conversation, seeing as he had always been the one to listen. but you notice how he hums with every interjection, how he laughs with every sarcastic remark, and how he makes sure to look at you whenever you tell him something about yourself that he didn’t know before. 

when he speaks, there’s always a quiet attentiveness to him, suddenly so interested in the most useless topics and rambles you would otherwise think he’d dismiss. you notice how he tries to prolong any and all dialogue, like silence was to be untouched. you like it.

“hey, y/n,” the two of you stop and what seems to be the umpteenth red light, the area lined with closed shops and a late market just around the corner. 

he turns to you, and you look at him “yeah?”

he hands you a can of coffee. you take it, confused, and he tells you, “it’s warm. could you just hold it for now?”

a shy smile creeps onto your face, and you nod slowly. he’s sweet, isn’t he?

you watch as puffs of cold air run out of his mouth, his voice low and mellow. when you think about it, you don’t really know him. you don’t know what he likes, you don’t know how he feels, you don’t know what makes him laugh or cry.

but you want to know. you want to know everything about him.

yet, there’s doubt tugging at your heartstrings that tells you he won’t let you. (you ignore it.)

"how was your trip?” suna asks.

‘you are my trip,’ you want to tell him, having secretly anticipated his asking you out. inarizaki’s second-year class trip to kyoto was infamous for its midnight rendezvous, where people would confess and go on dates in the freedom of an ancient city before the pressure of exams in the third year would temporarily keep everyone’s love lives on hold - at least that’s what you’ve heard. though you had told yourself they were only rumours, you can’t help but grin to yourself at the idea of a late night adventure with suna. 

now, as you look down at the little can of coffee in your hands, you find that they were never just rumours.

“my group went to so many shrines...” you say, “at some point it just became the same thing over and over again, and the souvenirs just had to get more and more expensive. it was pretty, though.”

suna exhales through his nose, “all my group did was eat.”

you chuckle, “that’s to be expected when you’re with miya osamu.”

“i got good pictures, though.”

“oh? can i see?” 

suna stops to shuffle his phone out of his coat pocket and hands it to you. he unlocks it in your hand, and you tell yourself to keep quiet at the brush of his large hands around yours. 

it’s between your shock and his photos that you’re given a glimpse of the rest of his phone before you’re scrolling through a gallery of photos. for a second, you’re close to complimenting him on their beauty - you take it back when you click on the first one you see.

“suna, these are all blurry.” you deadpan jokingly.

“wasn’t my fault we were running all the time.”

you giggle, “why were you running?”

“for some reason class two and class one have overlapping routes, so the twins met.”

you nod in acknowledgement, “they don’t ever stop, do they.”

you click away from the pictures app and instead go onto the camera. he’s off talking about something funny that happened today, and as you laugh along with him, you snap a few (many) low quality pictures of you both from below, and then a video, just barely tilting the phone so that the underside of his head is visible in frame. you hope he’ll see them later - maybe even keep them in his gallery, you know, for keepsake. 

you hand his phone back to him, “here.”

he sees your little grin and questions it, but he pockets his phone and continues speaking.

you start to wonder if you’re dreaming when he holds your hand.

the air is colder when you two are seated along the kamo river.

“do you think we’ll get caught sneaking out?” suna says. you reckon it’s the first time you’ve seen him talk so much and so enthusiastically all at once. 

you shrug, snickering, “i think we already have. they just don’t care because everyone goes out anyways.”

“nights of romantic rendezvous, they say.” he turns his head to you, a ghost of a smirk evident on his lips.

though you give a playful push to his shoulder, you scoot even closer.

“doesn’t that make us one of them?” you cringe at the question. you find your body turning to him, and it seems like he’s doing the same.

are we going too fast?

you don’t miss his mouth parting and his eyes staring at your lips. you can hear him breathe - he’s so close. 

you hesitate a little; a lot. you succumb to small looks over his shoulder and quick glances back at the water until your mind starts to wander off into uncertainties and questions you don’t even know how to answer - because you can’t. you ponder why you’ve never really heard him laugh before tonight; if he’s keeping close to you because he wants your warmth or just simply hates the cold; why you find yourself second-guessing the moment you’ve wanted to happen since valentine’s day.

although your head is loud, your surroundings are quiet. then it becomes a matter of head and heart.

so you listen to your heart. 

you want to kiss him, and that is what you know. the hunches and hesitations in your head aren’t concrete - at least not yet.

slowly, little by little, you let his lips collide with yours, closing the space in between. it’s cold and dry, yet the feeling is enough to enshroud you in a blanket of warmth. it’s short, as you expected, like a prolonged peck. you still feel a tingling sensation on your lips afterwards.

it’s then, for a fleeting moment, that you start to think that maybe you could find comfort in this fluttering feeling.

“have you seen anyone else going out?” suna asks like nothing happened.

you shake your head, “mina-chan snuck out with ayane-chan, and i think sakuragi-san with hirai-san... but that’s all i know.”

suna’s eyes widen at the mention of your friend, ayane. not that he cares about her, of course. he clears his throat.

“ayane? dating mina?”

“all the girls think they’re dating, but i guess it seems like a friendship for others.”

you inhale the cold air, and you feel yourself starting to regret the mention of her name. “i know ayane’s been out for a while. i’m glad that everyone’s been so accepting, too. she seems so lively all the time.”

suna’s eyes bottom into a sullen gaze, “yeah, ayane. i’m happy for her too.”

you snicker, “could’ve said that with more enthusiasm, no?”

suna shrugs, “we’re- yeah.”

perhaps he does care about her.

but suna stops himself as his eyes meet yours, “anyways, i bet sakuragi and hirai just wanna find a love hotel.”

you reply with a laugh.

“and i think akagi’s getting close to someone lately.”

you take a sip of your coffee, “really?”

“yeah,” suna zips up his coat tightly, “shit, it’s cold...”

you agree with him. 

despite suna’s conscious efforts, conversation dies out when it’s meant to die. whether it be the tens of questions swimming in your head, the hundreds of i-told-you-sos that play in your mind, or the biting wind, you know neither of you can’t stall anymore. 

it’s so pathetic, you think. you just kissed this boy and now you don’t know if it’s the coffee or his lips because the truth leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

“suna, what are we?”

he doesn’t answer. he doesn’t even do so much as to react to your words, like if he prayed your words away, you never said them. his eyes bear holes into the ground, skimming through a mental encyclopaedia of answers he could form without hurting your feelings.

it’s then that the distance between you and him feels as wide as the river. it’s two in the morning, and you find yourself hugging your own legs instead of hugging him.

it feels like betrayal, almost.

not that he betrayed you; more like you betrayed yourself. in truth, you were tired of chuupets, always fighting your sleepiness when he texted you late at night, willing to put up with his shit talk behind everyone else’s backs. 

yet you still worried that your legs wouldn’t look just right to him in the jeans you wore tonight.

you take a bag of chips from the shopping bag with snacks you two had splurged on earlier. it makes a quick pop as you open it, and suna hears a crunching sound beside him, away from his peripheral vision.

he’s frozen when you reach the bag out to him, offering him a chip. you’re relaxed, he thinks, even after asking that. it’s okay, he tells himself.

suna still shakes his head in decline and takes another sip from his convenience store coffee. he braces himself, because it’s only now that he’s realised the mess he’s put himself into.

“we’re-” he pauses.

you take another chip in your mouth, savouring its saltiness as you inwardly flinch at his hesitation. 

suna takes a deep breath, “i mean, not everyone who goes out is-”

you see it now; you should’ve listened to your head.

“it’s ayane, isn’t it?” you brush it off. all of it.

he’s unmoving, not daring to even blink. but he opens his mouth to speak.

“i wanted it to be you.”

you want to laugh at him. at least he didn’t deny any of it.

“but it’s not, right?” you shake your head, bitter chuckles falling from your mouth, “and you have no choice because she likes girls, huh.”

“i’m sorry. i fucked up.”

you know you can’t cry, but you sure as hell would like to. maybe then he’d really feel bad about it, after knowing so well even back when he’d given you sweets on valentine’s that you were just a compromise. 

“yeah, you did,” you pick at the grass around your soles, “what was even more fucked up is that i still thought i had a chance.”

“i still care about you.”

you exhale, hating the words that fall from his mouth. “of course you do! i’m your friend, osamu’s friend, ayane’s friend.”

you hate that you can’t hate him. you hate that you can’t hate how you genuinely get along with him, how his laughter and words hold no lies, how he’s honest with you. but that doesn’t change the way you hate how he’s led you on - and how you let him.

“is that why you were so smiley and eager tonight? because you were trying so hard to ‘win me over’ so you could forget about her?”

suna sighs. he needs to say something, he tells himself, because it’s only starting to sink in that he might even lose you as a friend. he kissed you, damn it, and held your hand, and asked you out on what everyone calls a date.

what a ‘friend’, huh?

“i’m so sorry.”

you wish he could at least say more. you feel a slash of anger, and though it stops quickly, you make a jab at him.

“you’re too lazy with your words. too lazy with your feelings.”

silence.

“i wanted to be wrong, but,” you shrug, “turns out you have a few things to work out yourself.”

his shoulders fall even lower, “i’ll stay out of your sight. i’m sorry.”

you laugh again, bitterly. your feet bring themselves to stand, and you decide to take the shopping bag and hug it. you think it’d look funny from afar, but you know it’s only to fill the hollow feeling in your chest and the burning embarrassment on your cheeks.

you look back at him, and his eyes are full of worry. they’re so wide that you almost feel flattered at his display of regret. you know he regrets it. you know osamu’s going to beat him up for it. you know the cheerleaders will talk about it. but you’ve forced all your focus on the bags of chips you’re holding and the feeling of a soft mattress back at the inn. the plan to gion is long forgotten.

suna stands up immediately, shoving his hands into his coat pockets, just trailing behind as you make no effort to slow down. you only speed up, briskly walking through the streets you remember from tonight.

you even cross the road on different green lights. 

you don’t wait for him. not anymore. 

the inn is a fresh breath of heated air, the reception dark and the stairs creaky. you tiptoe every inch of the way, not once looking back. 

eventually, when you reach your room, you slide the door open, seeing nothing but your friend’s nightlight. you take care to place the bag of snacks in a corner of the room, hidden yet still available for any of your roommates to see. you’re quick to shed your coat and change into the gym clothes everyone’s been wearing since dinner, sliding into your futon and forcing your eyes closed like you hadn’t just drank an entire can of coffee. 

you don’t cry, you don’t sob, you simply lay there. now you want to laugh at yourself, for knowing that something definitely was wrong, but having too big of a hopeful pride to even consider it.

your hands crinkle the thick futon and bring it up to your neck as you curl yourself up. warm. not electric nor addictive, just comfortable. 

you wanted electric.

you wanted to take back all your words and ignore everything because he kissed you and held your hand and waited for you at the crosswalk, only for you to be some replacement for someone he can’t be with. it makes you wonder if he thought of her when he kissed you. 

you hear the creaking of the wood boards and two voices. you know that it’s other people returning from their own little kyoto dates. their voices are high and squeaky and one of them had whispered something that you could hear three rooms away. 

it stings even more. too bad.

“fucking embarrassing,” you mutter under your breath, turning in your futon, “so fucking embarrassing.”

you’ll tell osamu that you’ll be hanging out with the kids in class 3 for a while. you’ll ask your friends to save a seat for you on the train tomorrow. you’ll make sure to give away the snacks to everyone later. it’ll be a hassle, but you’ll do what you have to do.

at least you can let yourself sleep now.