#uses a macbook that never fucking works during a test

[hai7ani]

im sharing a class w this cute boy n ive always found him attractive since day one but we've never talked until today when he's partnered up w a boy who has the same chinese name as him

n before leaving for my next class i was saying goodbye to everyone n i double confirmed w him on the way out about his chinese name bc its the same one as his partner just a different pinyin n he said ya ya while nodding so i said ok bye n he was like nice to meet u

....WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME CLASS AS HIM FOR 6 WEEKS..... AND WE CLEARLY KNOW EACH OTHER WE JUST NEVER TALKED

n my friend was teasing the HELL OUTTA ME cus i asked her if she thought he was cute too n she asked if i was interested LIKE ?!!!!!! ADMIT IT BRO IS CUTE!!!! N I AM INTERESTED WHAT ABOUT IT 😑😠🥸

[benefits1986]

Start Up Starter Pack

The start up life is finally the norm. Do you have what it takes to keep up?  When the K-drama Start Up went viral, a good number of friends from corporate reached out and asked me if I watch it. I replied that I gave it a good number of chances but it failed me. LOL. They were taken aback because they felt that I would actually rave about it. I smirked and told them that it’s too romanticized and too dressed up. I guess it’s because I joined the start up life back in 201X during its jurassic age. LOL.  A good friend who used to be in the corporate world actually gave up on his start up journey because it’s too much for him even when the pay and benefits are good. That start up actually reached out to me and I politely declined because I was in the middle of a series of pilot projects last H2. What drew me is that this invite meant I can actually be a legit digital nomad. Plus, MacBook and iPhone na work phone. Puwede rin iPad as second screen. Sana all. Bobo ko ba to say no to that invite? I guess not naman. I just didn’t want to leave while the party has not even started yet.  So, let’s try to answer the common questions which are taboo in as far as the start up life is concerned, shall we? Gigil ako for the past days e. Hahahahahaha.  Why do start up people drink during breaks?  Simple. We know how to have fun and most of the time, after the break, we need and want Dutch courage. This courage is usually reserved for big meetings and alignments that make or break overhead expenses and our team out-of-the-country trips. This is not to be confused with being wasak or hazy during meetings. A glass of sangria during lunch actually pacifies anxiety which is another given in this multiverse.  Why are we asked to list down our tasks even when we’re too busy with too many things?  When my corporate friend asked me this during his first few days as a start up guy, I laughed my head off. Back in 201X, I used to hate this bit but later, I realized that I am able to track my progress better and faster. The caveat though is you really have to work with project managers who know their shit. You also have to have a boss who understands the difference between what is doable and what is impossible.  Also, when I was involved in scoping and cost estimates, I discovered that OT, water, coffee, pizza, booze, pati sweldo ng all around messenger and driver kasama ng start up move up or downgrade. LOL.  Why is the start up life a life full of one too many hats?  Boot-strapping is the usual lifeline of start ups. It’s never ever easy. You really have to work well with what you have and be comfortable enough to admit that you don’t know what you don’t know. You also need to come with your cup half-empty and half-full. The start up life is a collaboration of the red flags and green flags of a team. It tests you. It burns you.  If start up life is an animal, what is it?  Our core team is called Team Phoenix. We burn and we rise from the ashes. HAHAHAHAHA. Literal burn. Emotional burn. Physical burn. Mental burn. This just didn’t happen overnight; but it happened gradually during the long days and nights that involve very tight deadlines and deadliest KPIs. LOL. Huy. During each bad fall and fucked up failure, we learn. We earn lessons not only in our work, but more importantly, about our masked up and hidden selves, too.  What are the values that one must have if s/he wants to slay the start up life?  The ability and willingness to embrace vulnerability. You really have to know what you are and allow yourself to ask WHY NOT. I keep on hearing know your WHY back then, but the truth is, knowing only your WHY makes you skewed. You have to know your scope and your limits, too. You have to learn to say NO even when you are trained to say YES, YES, YES.  You have to trust your team and create a safe space. Again, this is not easy especially when alpha males and homophobes thrive. :D What to do if you’re in this toxic space? Beat them up first and join accordingly. When faced with alpha males especially those who feel like they’re kings of the apes, bayagan mo. Know your worth and let them burn.  A few days ago, a female friend reached out and talked about a chauvinist. I told her that it’s a given and while her feelings are valid, it’s not a problem. It is a harsh reality. Choose an organization where real and lived diversity is a given.  These days, women are gaining more power but it’s not enough to neutralize the pressure that goes up and up as they go all the way up the career ladder. LOL. Sabi ko nga kay mhie: Girl, gusto mo ba lumuphin na natin ‘yan ng tumigil? Natawa siya e. Akala niya nagbibiro ako. LOL.  Can the start up mindset be applied to a silo-driven organization?  HAHAHAHHAHAHA. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. LUH. I say yes but it really depends on how much you can manage the KPIs and the personalities that you are dealing with. You have to have a boss who will back you up when both uphill and downhill. Isama mo na rin tukod times. Else, ‘wag ka ng mag-effort. Sayang lang pake mo kahit sobrang dame.  How do you manage difficult conversations and first-time meetings?  Start with a common ground. If this is not applicable, find a neutral ground. Carve your communication game plan with a win-win KPI. Be open. Be firm. Be collaborative. Be proactive. Be interactive. Be electromagnetic. Brush up on The Art of War x The Power of Seduction x Brene Brown.  If the start up universe is a movie, what is it?  Train to Busan meets The Blind Side. HAHAHAHA. Nakakatawa ito pero true. Start up is like winning a basketball game. You don’t need a lot of top players because everyone can join naman basta may right mindset and consistency to show up and own up. Train To Busan because deadlines in digital are like zombies. ‘Yung feeling mo OK na, patay na, hindi pa pala. HAHAHAHAHA. May hugot pa ba ako sa past life ko? LOL. Pero, natatawa na lang ako kasi, like the bida and bida-bida sa Train To Busan, your intention will come through. Your intent will power through. Kapit lang and go back to your why and why not.  Will deep dive on The Blind Side because YouTube surfaced content about it again. Google gods and demigods, my soul is yours. My scarlet sins are yours, too na rin po. Yoko na. LOL.  Makakahanap ka ba ng jowa sa start up?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. While ayokong mag-talk because baka mapahamak na naman ako... truth is, it depends naman ‘yan. Because the start up life eats up too much time, may chances of winning naman KAPAG willing and able kayo both to slay it along with its complications. It helps to align with your life outside work which is almost impossible. Nakaka-addict ang start up life kasi it never stops. Kahit pagod ka. Kahit maburnout ka. Kahit mawalaan ka ng pake. Ganern. So, I think, the better question to ask is: do you have what it takes to have a life outside the start up life?  Tawang-tawa ako sa love angle nung Start Up. I kept saying ULOL out loud. Hahahahaha. Bakit kailangan lagi ng power struggle? Bakit kailangang ‘yung babae pa rin ‘yung tanga though okay fine, may tanga moments din ‘yung guy. LOL. Bad trip lang ako sa power struggle and class act. LOL. Tigilan n’yo ako. Ganern. OK naman ‘yung attempt nila, pero for me, girl, sobrang onti lang ng chixx at lalaki na OK ‘pag sobrang hapitan na at laspagan na ang mga deadlines. LOL. Madalang na ‘di ka ilalaglag kahit na feeling mo may something na kayo, may understanding, may alignment na kayo.  How do you strike work-life balance in the start up work space?  A boss who knows how to balance work and life. Period.  Do you recommend the start up life? Yes and no. Yes if you want to be up all night to get lucky lalo when it comes to the birthing pain season, the drought season, the Exodus, the dark nights. It’s meant for people who want to distill themselves. It’s for people who yearn to push themselves to the limits ng hindi biro. It’s not for those who fear uncertainty.  The start up life is a pathway for those who want to be their own boss some time soon, or perhaps, a little later. It allows you to hone a good number of skills and enhance your collaboration which impacts your leadership and influence EVEN when you’re an introvert and socially awkward. HAHAHAHA.  It’s finally here, there and everywhere. In this pre-dystopian era, the start up life is the only life form that will survive. The AI gods and demigods have landed. Kakagamit mo kasi ng filters ‘yan. Kakasunod mo sa TikTok dance trends. LOL. Kaya, ang tanong, when will you down the start up pill?  Love, light & shadows,  B PS: Would be in the city tomorrow because UGH. LOL. Hahahahaha. Wala e. Special request. Will try to bring my bike siguro but no promises din kasi ekis outdoor activities. HAY. HAY. HAY. Baka Sunday na lang.  Also, dad ko enjoy na enjoy isakay sa basket si Vici. Pota. So ayun na nga, siya happy morning rides with MatchaME. Lumpo na naman ako sa basket nitong si Vici pero oks lang, all for my first born. Magbaon na lang ako ulit after next week or whenever. Pota talaga. Ipalo ko sa kanya big bikes niya e. Lekat. Basher noon, believer na ng B ngayon. Che. Hahahaha. Pero happy naman ako nakikiagaw siya sa fave toy namin. Para maiba naman. Upgrade daw namin. Sabi ko: LUL. Stop. ‘Wag ako. Bumili siya own saddle niya.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know i love memes as much as anyone else on this hellsite and the internet in general. but one meme i can’t stand now, as well as a joke used by older comedians about ~kids today!!!! am i right???~ that i can’t stand now, is the one that’s like “all 10 year olds want today is an iphone or an ipad or a macbook for their birthday or christmas! all i got for my 10th birthday/christmas as a kid was a tennis racquet and a tether ball that hit me in the face! kids are so spoilt today! you better get an i-job to i-pay for your spoilt mac-ass!”

because like.... do you not understand that in today’s increasingly over-connected world, ipads and macbooks or other tablets/laptops are pretty much required school equipment now, if your 10yo kid’s primary/elementary etc school has a ~bring your own device~ policy for kids in years 4-6??? like obviously yes, some schools will provide students with laptop/tablet trolleys and stuff.... or also the government might have a program to roll out laptops/tablets to schools (like australia did under rudd and gillard).... that some schools will literally put “parents must get a reliable tablet computer or laptop computer for their child to use for assignments”. when it comes to high school, i imagine that they’ll need their own laptop/tablet the whole way through their time there, if there is no longer any school provided or limited school provided laptops/desktop computers/tablets.

that’s besides the point that laptops etc are even more so required now than ever before, after everyone was forced to do homeschooling because of covid??? so. practically. a kid asking for a macbook/ipad or other tablets/laptops for their birthday or christmas, isn’t such a bad idea for a present??? even if yeah. apple is overrated and overpriced to the max. but suck it up and pay for your child’s future education??? even it means getting a cheaper laptop or tablet for your kid.

all i can say on the above point is that yes. the idea of ~bring your own device~ policies does set many families back- especially those in/from lower income areas/backgrounds or single parent families... considering that a decent tablet will set you back at least $500 and a decent mini laptop is around the same.... but bigger and better laptops are around $1000 on sale (windows) or idek like $1,200 on an apple education pricing deal. like yeah. it’s a demarcation thing and also setting some people up to fail. and again, this has been made increasingly obvious during covid due to different families acces to buying laptops/tablets or other internet connection means. i also understand that these big ticket item purchases of tablets/laptops hits the hip pockets of everyone harder during the pandemic, especially if you’re struggling with debt like mortgage repayments or whatever while being made redundant or are being paid less while working from home.

okay. not to sound like a spoilt brat of a kid, but i got my first laptop, an i-book G4 for my 10th birthday in 2005. then almost 10 years later, i got a macbook for my 18th birthday (and for my HSC/end of high school exams) in 2013. yes, this is the macbook that i promptly fucked up two years later in 2015, by trying to encrypt the hard drive, since i was taking it to uni and it had all my internet passwords remembered on it along with my banking details. the same goes for my other windows laptop... where the hard drive just decided to fry itself like 4 months into me using it, along with the trackpad. and that was a $1,200 ASUS laptop (bought on sale) that i was using for uni. and then finally my little HP stream laptop’s keyboard shorted out halfway through a creative writing class (that was $500 and it only has a 28gb hard drive so it’s very light and good for transport).

but my point is, me having my own laptop (as opposed to using the family computer only) helped me immensely in my studies..... and they were literally fucking essential to me both in business college and uni. but they were also helpful in late high school, considering that 90% of my assignment work was expected to be typed out in microsoft word or powerpoint or excel (for maths and science). or for more creative projects, i was expected to use adobe photoshop and video editing software like imovie or adobe premiere pro (art/computer tech/drama/that weird year 7 subject i did called INTEL) and garageband/sibelius (for music). how on earth was i supposed to keep doing work on adobe photoshop or word etc at home if i didn’t have my own laptop to continue the work???

because as a final point, for me, literally by year 10 in 2011, NOT ONE of my assignments was expected to be handwritten (bar my actual exams or in class tests; also state tests/exams etc; or if it was a poster or visual art). if you dared to turn in something handwritten, the teacher and student interaction would be like the following example:

teacher to a kid whose handed in a handwritten assignment: did you not read the assessment outline? it said WORD PROCESSED WITH WORD! what is this handwritten thing? okay fine. i’ll take it this time. but read the outline next time, timothy!

timothy: *stammers out* s-sorry miss/s-sorry sir *stalks away from the teacher’s desk in embarrassment and shame*

the teacher, probs thinking to themself: weird that a kid thinks they can hand in something handwritten. silly, really.

the above scenario was the same for me in years 11 & 12. also, by year 9/2010, we were using the education management system moodle (and maybe early stage presi for online presentations) for both of our HSIE subjects (history and geography) and i think a couple of other subjects, during most lessons and especially for class work that involved group work/class discussions, via online discussion boards function. my year group was actually was actually one of the test year groups for the early models of moodle. so by the time i was in uni, i was a native to using moodle; so i could skip the “moodle help tutorial” subject portions on it in every class.

hell, for today, i wouldn’t be surprised if foreign language subject faculties in high schools are now using school subscription class accounts or something for duolingo or babbel. and today, kids are learning coding from like year 4 onwards, i think, on apps at school as part of their science & tech studies lesson portion of the day. how on fucking earth are kids meant to keep up with their class work progression on coding apps or whatever, at home, if they don’t have their own laptop/tablet??? ridiculous. how would kids fare today without their own laptop/tablet, if all of their classwork for homeschooling is on like google drive/cloud or whatever other open source drive/open source cloud software their school uses?? or any other apps that their school might use??? obviously we are seeing this play out in real time during the pandemic, world over, where if a child is in a single parent family or if their two parents don’t have adequate enough resources/have been fired or let go from their jobs/juggling working from home and homeschooling; then it’s hurting these kids likelihood of doing well with distance learning.

but yeah. my point is that if your kid is asking you for a laptop or a tablet (regardless of brand) for their birthday or christmas, maybe buy them one?? because you never know. it may be the very thing at the top of their student resource list for the following school year. and also. do you know what stops kids fighting over their access to the family computer/tablet to do their assessments etc??? buying them their own personal laptops or tablets. even if they do cost an arm and a fucking leg. get your heads out of your asses and help your own goddamned kids (or relatives if it’s a nephew/niece etc asking for one) like you’re supposed to.

okay. for phones. i’ll admit i wouldn’t like a 10 year old having their own phone, because of social media being so easy to access on them. but if you don’t allow them to use the app store and don’t allow them to download instagram/facebook et al..... and give them the phone solely for safety reasons, i think that’s fine?

i’ve had a phone since i was 10 years old. also not to sound awfully clichè, but i turned out okay??? i had to have a phone back in year 4/2005 due to safety and also family issues. do you know what my teachers did with it? locked it away in their desk til the end of the day. obvs they had to remind me to take it home sometimes (bc i did leave it behind at school in the desk a few times lmao) but yeah. i was alright. if a kid wants a phone..... maybe make a compromise and get the classic nokia 3310 or something?? like i obvs agree that kids as young as 10 defs don’t need a smartphone like an iphone or a samsung galaxy. but a rock solid and basic nokia 3310 or whatever with no wifi access??? that’s good enough imo.

[lmbrjckdancefunkk]

Welp...

10/9/2019

Democratic, Respectful Response:

Well, I'll just let it be known.

With less than 12 hours' notice, #HaveAHeart has officially closed our store, laying us all off.

Today is my off day, btw.

(We are all members of #UFCWLocal555, which sort of seems a little useless at this point.)

The level of frustration, confusion and hurt I'm feeling is unparalleled, but more importantly, the way we've all been manipulated / handled by the corporate representatives within the last few months shows me even more that the mission statements and values we all signed on to embody mean very little to HaH.

Meanwhile, HaH continues to open store after store in California while discarding and abusing their own employees. Oregon could have been such a good market, too.

To Beth, Dave, Merlin, Cody, Blake, Tia, Jelly...

We finally got got.

Sokha, thanks for always being so sweet and for 'breaking bread' with us during our first few days opening the store. Those of us remaining never forgot your hospitality, and hopefully one day, all of Have a Heart will reflect such maturity and true community.

TO:

Cece

Patrick

Dom

Nic

Paul

Jen

Cam, and

Briceson:

I LOVE YALL FOR TRYING TO UPHOLD A VISION THAT WAS POORLY EXECUTED FROM JUMP.

Y'all already knew what it was and is.

Yesterday night, I was a Black, openly gay Lead Budtender from Oklahoma, spreading cannabis advocacy on behalf of Have a Heart.

Today, I'm looking for work. I wonder if Good Morning America will see this...

Lol

Real Life Response:

Have a Heart fucked me over.

I do want to be clear though, as I’m not an idiot. We know that our lease would be up around this time and that there would be a possibility that we would be purchased and under new management. The issue though is that thr current CFO of Have A Heart, Ed Mitchell, Assured us all respectively that we would have ample notice before any closures occurred. He obviously lied. We’re screwed.

Our interim manager, Miguel, obviously knew as well. He was usually really good at printing off our schedules to weeks in advance, but a few of us started to notice that he hadn’t put up our schedules for the continuance of October. Once one of our leads asked him to print more schedules, all he did was copy and paste previous ones, obviously to placate us until a few days ago when they called us to tell us that the store was closed. He knew before hand, he screwed us.

I’ve been waking for the last eighteen months at 6:15am, and now I’m up at the same time, looking for cannabis jobs because (and here’s the kicker) I’m a 400 lbs black bear who’s been consuming cannabis REGULARLY and I will fail every drug test I take because of the amount of THC in my system. I’m screwed.

Also, prior to being laid off, assuming I had job security, I took advantage of some sales that Amazon offered me, most recently starting monthly payments on a NEW $2300 MacBook Pro and various music software suites, plus I was going to start paying on my defaulted loans, which would guarantee my tax refund, so I could finally get an apartment of my own and start my “35-year old single life.” I’m screwed.

If anyone can help me during this very stressful time:

Cash app - $LmbrJckT

[thesilentspyawaits]

I have finished MID and I have thoughts

This review/thought thingy will NOT be spoiler-free so please be aware of that! Before I put anything under the cut though, I wanted to point out one thing. I think I’ve said this before but I’m a beta tester for the ND games and we had the option in SEPTEMBER (an actual month before the game was to be out for pre-order) to come in and test the puzzles (I’m currently studying abroad so I couldn’t go) but we were told we were not going to have the option to get the actual beta version of the game so... I don’t think it was actually ever beta tested??? Maybe I’ll make a post about it idk we’ll see anyway here are my thoughts/comments: 

I’m just going to say the things that I love right off the bat and not go into too much detail about those: 

Voice Acting 

Lots of Characters/NPCs

Most of the plot

The ghosts especially when they were running around in the tunnels, that was super cool and a few scared me 

That nostalgic feeling

Here are the things I didn’t like about the game and I’ll go into some details: 

ASH: This was a knock-off version of Alibi in Ashes with some Ghost of Thornton hall mixed in you can’t change my mind 

Graphics: I don’t want to go too much into it. They sucked. I have a Macbook and tried to turn the graphics up (this helped a lot) but my game go so slow and my computer crashed a lot so I turned them down 

Lots of Characters: I know I said I loved how many characters there were, but I felt like we never got the time to know them. The game was about the same amount of time as the older ones so I think that’s the reason why we never got to really know any of them. I have no idea what the motives were for anything, I learned no background about the characters, Jason and Mei seemed forced, I wanted more info about the young Coven group, I basically just wanted more from each character especially Alicia and the Judge. They could have easily been taken out of the game in my personal opinion. I think if the game was longer it would have been a LOT better. 

Dialogue/not a lot of puzzles: My favourite part of the game was when Mei and Nancy had to figure out how to get out of that small room because it was just a big puzzle and I really liked the puzzle with Frank/Joe/Deirdre in the basement of the Hathorne House! But the dialogue just seemed so... yikes. It was also annoying that we couldn’t work on multiple puzzles at the same time. It felt very linear that way. I also think a lot of people back in 2015 when they did that survey said they wanted more puzzles in the games. I think having six characters instead of four and having more puzzles would have been a lot better. Something similar to Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon! That’s SUCH a good game because of the characters and the puzzles! 

Characters in general: Why the FUCK did they have like no facial movements??? Besides their mouths which were not in sync with the words a lot of the time?? Why the fuck was the judge so sad 25/8? Why was Teegan stuck in t-pose the entire game??? Why did they move so much? They were so unnatural and awkward???? I honestly just like... why???? Also NONE OF THEM BLINKED 99% OF THE TIME! Deirdre was the wORST! I stared at her for like two minutes and she never blinked. She was by far the worst looking one which sucked since she was behind us a lot during the game which I thought was very annoying. 

Glitches: Oh my goshhhh I had so many little bugs and glitches. Frank’s feet were in the ground so many times, Nancy wasn’t sitting in her chair part of the time, the characters’ arms would clip through them I think at one point Joe’s arm just went straight through his face. I also had to shut my game down more than once in order to progress in a puzzle it was just not good 

Ned: PUT NED IN THE FUCKING GAME YOU COWARDS! And why were him and Nancy fighting so much???? It doesn’t make sense! It added nothing to the game!! 

Frank: He was so awkward??? Did not seem like Frank Hardy at all I was very concerned 

Other stuff: I hated the text. I have ADHD and space out sometimes and I loved how in the old games I could scroll up so I could remember shit. It also isn’t good for hard of hearing or deaf fans or other people who may need the text to read since it would get cut off. I was not very impressed with the world. I thought the upstairs part of the library was really weird, it seemed way too big for no reason. Lauren should have been living in the Hathrone house instead of next to it. Also the Hathrone house and the Perry house have the same layout. Two rooms on the ground floor, only one place you could access upstairs. It was a bigger world, but I would have enjoyed a smaller world with more areas to explore in the world. The ending was just chaos too. So much talking. I missed the letter at the end too! I hated that we had to go say goodbye to everyone?

Finally, I was confused a lot. Some of the dialogue didn’t make sense, there weren’t a lot of hints, the puzzles needed a lot more explaining than they were providing us, and I didn’t notice things until Nancy told us (the picture we got of Lauren, Olivia, and Teegan, didn’t realize I had to look at it). There was just a lot of things that left me saying “what” and it was really frustrating. I was pretty much done with the game by the end. 

In conclusion: I would have preferred waiting another year for a REALLY good Nancy Drew game (why did this one feel so... rushed?) Or just stuck with the old point-n-click version! There wasn’t anything wrong with the point-n-click version! I think it would have been easier for them to just add in six characters instead of the traditional 4, put in some more difficult puzzles and like three more than usual, and make the game a little bit longer! 

I am really worried HeR won’t be able to recover from this which sucks but I hope they learn and are able to grow and we get some better games in the future! I gave the game a fair shot and... I wasn’t impressed. Especially after they hyped it up like crazy and we had to wait so long. 5/10 sorry and if you’re thinking about buying the game, I say do it. I actually really liked feeling nostalgic and my little brother and I were talking about it and it was like the good old days! It brought me back and made me happy for some weird reason?

[feelsgoodstyles]

Pretending.

This is my first time writing smut, like, ever. In that case, please be kind. :) Feel free to leave feedback in my ask! Enjoy!

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2.8k

ask

"Pet, can you bring me my laptop?" Harry yells from downstairs. Y/N groans and gets out of bed, grabs his Macbook and stumbles down the stairs. She looks around their flat, trying to pinpoint where his voice came from. She then spots him sitting at their dining table. "Thank you." Harry says, peeking up from his notebook and seeing his girlfriend with his laptop in hand. He smiles as she puts it down in front of him.

"I got out of bed for that. You're lucky that I love you." Y/N says, yawning and rubbing her eyes. He chuckles.

"You're right, I am lucky that yeh love me." Harry touches Y/N's thigh and gives it a little squeeze, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Suck up." She jokes, walking away from him to go and sit on their couch. She flops down and pulls a fuzzy blanket over herself. Harry finds it odd that, since they're in LA, Y/N frequently covers herself in blankets. Even when it's hot outside, she can be seen underneath a few layers at home. "What did you need it for anyway?"

"I have to put the lyrics I've written in my notes just in case if I ever lose this notebook."

"Couldn't you have just used your phone?"

"Yeah, but I wanted yeh to come down here because I missed yeh." Harry teased, which resulted in a loud 'ugh' from Y/N.

In truth, she's glad he called her down because she was beginning to get on her own nerves. Since Harry's usually busy, she's typically alone a lot of the time. Harry and Y/N haven't had proper sex for at least a few weeks, and it's beginning to get to her. He could breathe and it would make her horny at this point. If it wasn't for masturbation, she's sure that she would have shriveled up and died by now. Y/N has been hinting to Harry that she wants him to fuck her, but his nose is usually stuck in that notebook of his, writing new lyrics for another album. He's been so busy trying to get songs done so he and his band can test to see what they would sound like on an album that he doesn't realize it's been so long he and his girlfriend have fucked.

Considering the fact that Y/N has a job, and that Harry spends most of his free time at the studio with his band, they typically don't get that much time together. She's usually busy and doesn't get home until after four in the afternoon, which leaves her alone for a good hour or so because Harry doesn't come home until after five -- that's when the studio closes. She tries her best to keep herself busy during that hour, whether it's watching Youtube videos or Netflix -- anything is better than thinking about what Harry could be doing to her in that moment.

Harry was busy with songwriting, so he didn't really notice anything different between them. Y/N had thought that since, usually he's teasing her 24/7, he would have noticed the fact that they hadn't done anything in what seemed like forever. But being the caring girlfriend she is, Y/N wanted Harry to focus on his songwriting rather than pleasuring her. Even though sometimes she wished it was the other way around, a lot of the time she wanted him to focus on his work.

Every once in a while, Y/N touches his thigh or kisses his neck, and it's just met with an approving hum from the back of Harry's throat. She's not the type to seduce another person, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

She looks up from her position, and she's perfectly in line with the sight of Harry's thighs. His ring-clad hands move down to his thighs and rub them slightly, probably scratching them or doing it as a habit. Y/N suppresses a moan by biting her lower lip and closing her eyes. She lets out a huff and her hair blows up. Standing up, she brushes the cat hair off of her shirt and walks back towards Harry. He has a pen in his mouth and is typing furiously away at his computer, without looking away from his laptop, he takes a sip of his water. Y/N walks behind him and begins to massage his shoulders.

Harry touches her hand with his and turns his head to kiss her fingers. "What is it, love?"

"Nothin'. I just wanted to see what you were doing." She shrugs, leaning down and kissing his cheek. Harry smiles and tilts his head.

"Doesn't seem like nothin'." He replies, motioning for Y/N to sit on his lap. He kisses her shoulder as she inspects his notebook. She turns around to face him and she wraps her arms around him. "I'm really sorry pet, but I'm awfully busy right now. We can cuddle later, yeah?" Y/N rolls her eyes. "Excuse me? What was that for?"

Harry never did like it when Y/N would give him attitude -- this was her chance to piss him off and hope for the best. She ignored him. "So you're goin' to ignore me, are you?" Harry asked, grabbing her chin with his thumb and index finger. Y/N looked past his eyes, knowing that not looking at Harry in his eyes annoys him beyond belief. "Y/N, are you really goin' to pull that shit? I'm dead serious. Look at me. Now." And with that, she shoved her face into the crook of Harry's neck. Y/N had to do her best to hold herself back from kissing his neck; she wanted him to be slightly mad when they fucked. It almost always worked in her favour. She could hear Harry let out a deep chuckle. "Since yeh don't wanna listen to me, I guess I'll jus' have to go back to the studio to get m'work done." He states, slowly pushing her off of his body. Y/N shakes her head and clings to him, wrapping her legs around his waist as he stands up with his hands at his sides.

"Nuh uh."

"Darling, I really do need to get this done or Mitch an' Jeff are gonna have my head." Harry replies, moving his hands downwards to cup Y/N's ass. "I'm glad you're talkin' to me now, though. What's gotten you all riled up?"

Y/N let out a sigh, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to bring it up because it may cause issues between them -- but she also didn't like feeling as if she didn't exist. So, instead, she decided to piss off Harry a little bit more to see what he'd do. "None of your business, Styles." Y/N replies, looking away from him.

"Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?" Harry asks, but he doesn't receive an answer. "Alright. Get off me and go sit on the couch." Y/N didn't move, instead she rolled her eyes. "Now."

She gets the hint and lets go of Harry, Y/N scurries to the couch and Harry follows close behind her. She does her best to hide her excitement but can't help the corners of her mouth slowly turning upwards.

"Across m'knee." Harry says blandly, motioning Y/N to lay herself across his lap. She does just that and can feel Harry's hands rubbing her ass delicately, each individual ring leaving a tingly feeling. He slides the shorts off of Y/N's body and they lay on the ground underneath her -- completely exposing her backside to Harry. She could hear a low moan come from Harry as he stares at her ass, and just from that she can tell that he likes the black lace panties she slipped on early this morning. "Naughty little thing, aren't yeh? Gettin' all prettied up, pissin' me off and knowing you were gonna get a punishment."

Before Y/N could say anything, Harry swats his hand against her ass harshly -- causing her to bite down on her bottom lip. "No, let me hear yeh." He said, making it clear that he wanted to hear any sound she made. Harry repeated his first action, and this time it stung (in a pleasurable way, of course) but in an act of trying to get him even more riled up, Y/N didn't make one sound.

"Hm." Was all that could be heard before Harry moved his hand into his girlfriend's panties, causing a gasp to be released from her mouth. He ran his fingers up and down between her soaked folds, a light snicker coming along with his action. "You really are bein' naughty today. Disobeying everything I say, lying, pretendin' like you don't wanna scream my name until you can't speak anymore." Harry whispers, making sure she feels the cold sensation of his rings against her warm skin. He brings his other hand to her ass, rubbing circles on it while his other hand continued to tease her clit. Y/N finally lets out the moan she had been holding in, and Harry lets out a satisfied hum. "That's my girl, let daddy hear those pretty little moans of yours."

He swats at her ass one more time, she jerks forward and moans once more before Harry leans down and kisses the red marks with his soft lips. He removes his hand from her underwear, and helps her sit up. He teasingly puts his fingers in his mouth to lick off her wetness, and he sucks on each one for a few seconds. Y/N bites the inside of her cheek and brushes the hair away from her face.

"Now, tell me what's really wrong." Harry says, standing up and walking back towards their dining table. Y/N follows him close behind, she swallows hard and looks down at her hands as he sits down at his work area. "Yeh can talk to me, angel."

"Well it's just.." Y/N pauses. "You always say you're busy, it's like I don't exist to you anymore." She sighs, looking back at him. Y/N begins to fiddle with her hands as Harry sighs and takes her hands.

"Oh come on, yeh know that isn't true. I've just been focused on getting this song done." Harry replies while rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand, coaxing her into sitting on his lap. Feeling a little brave after all that happened, she decides to take matters into her own hands. Y/N smiles and begins to kiss his neck. Harry lets out a low moan, but shakes his head quickly after. "If I have to stop what I'm doing again, yeh won't be able to walk for the next week."

Those words alone light a fire inside of Y/N and she decides to just go for it. "Try me." Harry raises his eyebrow.

"You really aren't goin' to listen, huh?" He asks, and has his question answered with a shake of her head. "Alright. Since that's how you wanna be, the only way you're getting off is on m'thigh. You aren't getting a proper fuck until yeh behave and listen to me." Y/N moans at the idea of riding his thigh, it's been so long that she's become wet just by his words.

"Please." She begs.

"Please, wha'?"

"Please, daddy."

"Much better. Maybe you're finally learning manners." Harry replies with a smirk. He presses his lips against hers and he notices how desperate to get off she is when she begins to grind her hips against his thighs before he said she could. Harry puts both of his hands on her hips, stopping her movements. "Ah ah. Not before I say so." He kisses her again, except this time it's a much deeper kiss and he can feel her wetness through his pants already. "Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?"

"No I--" Y/N begins, but is cut off by Harry roughly thrusting his hips up towards her, but it's short lived and he only does it once. "H-Harry!" She moans loudly, arching her chest into Harry. The friction Y/N felt as she grinds her hips against Harry's thigh felt heavenly, but she knew Harry wouldn't let her cum that easily. Even if she came when he said not to, it would only set her back even farther from getting fucked by him.

"Beggin' for it with your eyes won't do anything, angel." Harry replies, cupping her face in his hands. He begins to kiss her painfully slow, moving his hands down to her ass and giving it a light squeeze. A small moan comes from Y/N's throat, causing Harry to smirk.

Harry moves his lips down to her neck, sucking and licking every once in a while to help aid him in making his girlfriend even more sexually frustrated than before. He latches his lips to her sweet spot and begins to work on leaving a bruise. With every kiss, Y/N began moaning louder. Harry could feel himself getting more turned on by her moans, and he began to feel himself getting frustrated as well.

Running his hands up and down her body, Harry decides that he's done enough teasing. "Ride my thigh." He didn't have to say it twice -- as soon as the words left his mouth, Y/N started grinding her hips into his thick thigh. Her clit rubbing against the fabric of her panties created a feeling of ecstasy inside of her.

Y/N let out a loud moan as her hips continued thrusting against Harry's thigh, right above his cock. Harry sets his hands on her hips, helping to keep her steady so she wouldn't need to slow down.

"Oh angel, you feel amazing.." He says, looking her up and down and admiring the sweaty mess he managed to create just by allowing her to sit on his lap.

Y/N could feel her legs starting to feel like jelly, but she knew Harry would help her reach her orgasm if it became too much for her. The chair beneath the two of them rubbed against the wooden floor, causing a couple of squeaks and scratches -- neither noises stopped the two of them. Y/N began to feel the tightness in her stomach slowly become more intense and she knew that her climax was approaching. "God please.. I think I'm gonna --"

"Good girl. Are you gonna cum fo' me? I know yeh want to." Harry grunts, pressing his wet lips against the soft skin of her neck. "But I'm not going to let yeh." Y/N let out a gasp as Harry pawed at her wet center through her panties. He rubbed her clit with the fabric of her underwear and she swore she could see stars. With every movement, it felt like she was being set on fire because of all of the pleasure she was feeling.

"P-Please let me cu -- oh my fu- Harry!"

Y/N could feel herself getting closer and closer, and suddenly she could feel Harry's cold fingers in her panties and rubbing rough circles against her swollen clit. It was painfully slow at first, but then he began to speed up and she started to see blotches of white in her vision. His fingers were summoning Y/N's orgasm and he could feel his cock twitch because of all the noises she was making. "Alright angel, cum for me. Cum all over m'thigh."

Then it finally happens, Y/N's thighs began to twitch and she leaned forward to put her face in the crook of Harry's neck as she moaned his name. She was riding out her orgasm as he slowly rubbed her clit a little bit more, in which he received a few more bucks of her hips in his hand. "Oh my.. Fucking... God." Y/N panted as Harry finally removed his hand from her underwear. As he did this, a smirk spread across his face.  

"Did you enjoy tha', darling?" Harry asks. Y/N nods in response as she's still coming off the high that was her intense orgasm. "Good. M'sorry I've been neglecting you, I'm gonna finish this song an' then I'm all yours. I promise."

"It's okay. I understand why, Har. I just missed you, that's all." Y/N mumbles, cuddling into his chest even farther. Harry kisses the top of her head and wraps his arms around her.

"But jus' because I've been busy doesn't mean yeh get to give me attitude, angel." Harry teases, poking her in the side. Y/N lets out a giggle and kisses his jaw.

Harry stood up, allowing Y/N to stand up as well and they both worked their way to the kitchen. He grabs her hand and kisses it, causing his girlfriend to smile like a fool. He begins to chase her as she starts screaming and laughing as he dramatically runs after her to their kitchen to make food. After all, they worked up quite an appetite.

[earlywrites]

there’s no place like 127.0.0.1 commentary part II: ‘keeping up’

Welcome to part two of the commentary for my fic there's no place like 127.0.0.1! Let's dive right into Sunday morning. As before, here there be spoilers for the majority of Season 3.

“[...] And, for your information, the internet exists. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but you can find anything on there. Literally anything. Including a Keeping Up With The Kardashians fact-checker resource.” 

Keeping up with the Kontinuity Errors is a blog, currently run on the Cut, that breaks down episodes of KUWTK scene by scene, using social media and paparazzi photos to determine when each scene was actually filmed versus the date/timeframe that is claimed on the show. Here is the post on the first episode Robot and Angela watched, wherein the Kardashian-West clan et al travel to Armenia and also may or may not be in Jerusalem at any given time. I didn’t choose particular episodes for rounds two and three, but I do have a fondness for the one where Kim loses her diamond earrings in the ocean, and Kourtney goes:

“How about, the loser gets to do the dishes from last night. And this morning.”

I actually wrote this section before 3x09 came out, so this ended up being a sad piece of foreshadowing.

:(

“That’s the cholesterol,” she retorts, as she marks out new columns into her notebook. “Your diet is terrible.”

“No, Elliot’s diet is terrible,” he says, licking maple syrup off of his fingers and setting his score sheet up on his knee. It still gets a little sticky, but whatever. “I don’t get much choice in that matter. Occasionally, when I get the chance, I eat a vegetable.”

Literally how is Elliot a functioning human being. Robot brings this up in Part I, but that post was getting full, so I'm putting the discussion here, and, look. Everything about his lifestyle, his love for junk food and the fact that he probably gets 0 sleep now given Robot’s nocturnal cycle points to him being deeply, incredibly unhealthy. Having Robot making some effort to take care of their body, even as a semi-joke, is my way of somewhat justifying how Elliot is still alive, lol.

“[...] vaguely considers beating one out – because it’s been a while, and Tyrell’s snarl under the press of his hand at his throat is still tucked away in his spank bank, awaiting withdrawal [...]”

I feel like 3x09 proved unequivocally that Robot is absolutely into playing rough.

[source: @knownoshamc, x] 

“[...] I bought a few titles that looked interesting. And a few things just to mess with him - did you know there’s a game where you can date pigeons? Like, actual birds. It’s apparently very popular.”

Yes, of course I’m referring to the masterpiece of visual media and storytelling that is Hatoful Boyfriend.

He stares at her, breathing heavily, and thinks about picking up his laptop and smashing it against the smooth surface of the coffee table, watching it splinter and crack, then taking her MacBook and sending it flying across the room, shattering the glass of a window, compromising the integrity of the perfect little box she’s living in, the one she’s caged him inside. He visualizes it, until he can feel the weight of the laptop in his hands, sees in the reflection of her eyes – big, blue, steady and unwavering – how the arc of destruction plays out, walls crumbling around them, fragments spinning out in slow motion, catching the light.

Elliot and Robot are highly creative, and are shown to manipulate the world around them to fit their perspective - in that vein, from Robot’s point of view, that scene would play out similarly to Cobb and Ariadne’s first dreamsharing experience in Inception.

Then he sits down next to her.

I separated this line from the preceding paragraph because this, for me, was the biggest character moment for Robot in the fic -- rather than doing what he wants, and releasing his rage, being his usual rash and destructive self, he chooses not to, and essentially releases his anger like air slowly leaving a balloon (minus the squeaking, lol). He tried to bait Angela, to get under her skin, after she made an astute judgement about him and exposed a major vulnerability of his, but she was unwavering, meeting him eye to eye. I think this point was when he gave into trusting her, knowing that she knows his weakness -- his deeply complicated, protective, antagonistic relationship with Elliot, the fact that he doesn’t want to face that he misses him -- and allowing her to keep that secret for him.

Completing Portal 2 in co-op mode ends up taking the rest of the afternoon, only pausing for snacks – and Angela takes his blithe comment on Elliot’s nutrition seriously, because of course she fucking does, and prepares shit like carrot sticks and celery with hummus which are both incredibly bland and deeply unsatisfying, so in retaliation he spends an inordinate amount of time dicking around with the portal mechanics so her character keeps falling to its untimely end. But he quickly gets bored of that, and of Angela making empty threats to beat him over the head with her MacBook (yeah, like her noodle arms could ever manage it), and does end up working with her to beat the game. The entire concept is problem-solving and teamwork, which is genuinely engaging, even though it’s obvious Angela picked this as some kind of teambuilding exercise for the two of them — which, on paper, is annoying as hell, he’s not some fucking suit in an intern program. Still, she’s not a bad partner – they bounce off each other well, sometimes literally, and she’s the one to actually figure out the shoot-while-jumping sequence needed to get through the penultimate level. For some reason, though, her favorite characters, if you can even count them as characters, are the cubes. The cubes. She fucking loves those dumb, inanimate objects. GLaDOS would definitely take her ass in to test for whatever malfunctioning part of her cortex causes her to express affection for a cube.

Hey, look, it's a game where two characters work together to aid the agenda of an evil megalomanic who's actually manipulating them and ultimately wants them to die to serve her true purpose, while ignoring warning signs saying not to trust her. Sound familiar? ;) But yes, for those unfamiliar with the Portal series, here's a little article about the essence of the co-op game; the purpose was to directly parallel it with Robot and Angela's doomed plan under Whiterose's thumb. Totally check out the games, if you haven't already! The co-op is a lot of fun, and the penultimate level took my friend and I like an hour to figure out how to complete (whereas the last level? Total cakewalk, even if The Cake Is A Lie :P)

“And we will have to manage Darlene,” she continues, bringing several onions on a chopping board over to him. “I don’t know what her motives are in coming here to look for Elliot, but either way, we have to play it safe. I’m going to give you your phone back tomorrow and if she calls, you can answer it, but… tell her you wanted to go off the grid this weekend, or something, clear your head. You can use the fact that you’ll be at work to keep it short, just enough to keep her from looking in any further.” “That excuse won’t stretch too far – isn’t Elliot getting fired tomorrow?” he asks, peeling the skin off the first onion and starting to slice it up. 

“Yes,” Angela says. “Mid-morning at the latest, but she wouldn’t know about that, so even if she wants to meet she’ll have to wait until the end of the day – if she presses for the lunch break, you can say you’ve made prior plans with me. [...] Okay, so, you’re just going to sit tight until security escorts you out, as we discussed, and don’t make a scene [...] Once you’re out, keep your distance from the data recovery center but stay in the area in case Irving and Tyrell need assistance with the execution, in which case I will contact you directly and escort you through any E-Corp facilities, since your card access will be revoked. Otherwise, go somewhere public, so that you have an alibi that can be corroborated by at least several witnesses concerning your whereabouts at the time the building comes down – but keep a low profile, get a Starbucks, or something. Make sure not to take your laptop out of your bag unless there’s an emergency, you don’t want anyone making assumptions about what you were doing during Stage Two once the dust clears and the feds look for someone to pin it on. And, if you need to call me, ring and let it dial once, hang up, and then immediately ring again. That way I’ll know it’s you calling, and not Elliot.”

We never got to really find out what Robot & Angela’s original plan was for that day, if Elliot hadn’t taken over for the events of 3x05-06. I assumed that, after Tyrell and Robot’s altercation in 3x04, the reins had been handed over to Tyrell and the Dark Army to execute, and Robot’s job was essentially support-if-needed, Angela still acting as his handler and liaising with Irving. This is my interpretation of what the OG plan might have been like -- at the beginning of 3x05, Angela encourages Elliot to pick up his phone as it rings, and then seemingly clicks that it’s no longer Robot, but still calls out to Elliot to grab lunch later. Later, she didn’t pick up her phone when Elliot called her, which I wondered about at the time since we weren’t given an indication as to whether she knew who was actually calling, and so this is my justification for that too. 

“We’ll toss those in olive oil with the carrots and set them to roast in the oven for about twenty, and in a couple of minutes I’ll get started on the steaks [...]”

I made a few fun Matrix shoutouts in this fic, and this is another one -- Cypher eats a virtual steak dinner as he trades the crew on his ship to the Agents in exchange for insertion back into the matrix, rejecting his harsh reality for the comfort of an artificial world. The recipe I had in mind is something along the lines of this one.

His memories are a muddled patchwork, haphazard at best – the clearest ones he has are also the darkest, ones Elliot didn’t want to deal with, shoved into a box and couriered to his doorstep with DO NOT RETURN TO SENDER in big red lettering, his burden now to bear. It’s no sweat, he’s stronger than Elliot, anyhow, which is probably is the point – the nightmares of yesteryear don’t faze him much, especially now their bitch of a mother is slowly rotting away upstate.

3x07 heavily implied Robot had already emerged before Edward Alderson died, and was the alter in control when Edward collapsed at the cinema -- but, in Season One, Robot begged Elliot not to let people ‘try to get rid of [him]’ again, implying there were stretches of time in Elliot’s life when he wasn’t present. Mr. Robot’s timeline is muddled to hell thanks to Elliot’s unreliable narration anyway, but I figured that Robot’s memories would be somewhat similar to Elliot’s with more gaps in them, and more strongly feature the abuse exacted by their mother, per Robot’s role as a (deeply flawed) ‘protector’ to Elliot. Also, I’m not sure whether Magda Alderson is actually alive or dead, but ‘slowly rotting away’ can mean both physically rotting in a grave and just generally living a stagnant existence (in a nursing home, presumably), so that’s up to interpretation! 

He’s not much one for wine, but this one’s pretty good – it’s apparently a 2008 Penfolds Grange, whatever the fuck that means, and they’ve made quick work of it as the evening has wound down.

The Penfolds Grange vintage 2008 Shiraz (South Australia) scored a rare 100 points in both The Wine Advocate and the Wine Spectator, two of the world’s most influential wine journals, when it was released in 2013, and I believe was initially priced at around $600-700. Price probably gave her this bottle, so it’s a good one to crack open when intending to destroy his company.

“I guess… I’m nervous, about seeing her again,” she murmurs. “It’s been so long, and so much has changed… it’s weird, because all I’ve felt up until this point is excitement, like, this is the whole reason I’m going through with all of this, to finally destroy E-Corp and create our new world, to share it with her – and yet, now we’re here, I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

Her whole deal with Whiterose is bordering on obsession, at this point. It’s somewhat disconcerting, but then again, he supposes that’s Angela – she’s just intense like that. “Look, Angela, don’t set your expectations too high on that one,” he cautions. “I don’t think either of us are going to see Whiterose again, at least, not in the immediate future. She’s not the type to just swing by to pop off some champagne for a job well done.”

Angela looks at him, frowning slightly, and then her expression clears. “Of course,” she says, finishing up her glass. “You’re right, Whiterose has more important things to do. Maybe we’ll just have to have our own celebration.”

“Maybe,” he replies, looking at her narrowly. He has an odd feeling that she wasn’t talking about Whiterose. But then, who else would it be? Darlene? No, that doesn’t quite add up.

I mean, look, at this point, it’s very obvious to we the audience that Angela is talking about seeing her mother again, and she then makes reference to Elliot believing in the #cause once he gets to see his father just before the brownout comes in. These scenes always made me feel sad to write.

The inset on the face says 29, and the hands glint at a little after six. Early, but not quite early enough to justify a little more shuteye.

In 3x05, Elliot says the Dark Army tried to execute Stage Two at 6am. Robot waking up with a start around the time the Dark Army try to attack but being completely unaware of it happening is the beginning of the end for his usurped revolution.

So that's it, for now. If you’re still here -- thanks for reading, friend! Hope you enjoyed this self indulgent spiel -- catch you on the flipside :P