#uuuggh they are each other's safe place but they don't realize it

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

This is the continuation of this, which was inspired by this. Swiss' perspective this time ! Also, again : Swiss is hard on himself in this, but he's biased and it doesn't reflect what I actually think of him (he's my favorite ghoul, i love him to hell and back)

Swiss twirls his fork between his fingers absent-mindedly, eyes trained on Mountain. He's talking about books with Cirrus and Rain, gesturing widely with an excited grin, plate long forgotten in front of him. Swiss bites back a wounded sound at the sight.

Oh, Swiss was doomed from the start. He never could have resisted the earth ghoul, not in a hundred years. There is something so grounding about Mountain, something that has Swiss hanging to his every words whenever the earth ghoul's voice rises, something in his very presence that quiets Swiss' otherwise constantly racing thoughts, turning them into a distant buzz. How can someone be so good, so sweet, while also being a creature from hell, sin running through his veins ? Swiss doesn't have an answer for that particular question.

Mountain is just...everything Swiss isn't, and will never be. Level-headed and rationnal where Swiss acts on impulse, serene in a way Swiss can never be, the urge to move and act always jostling him forward. Watching Mountain offer potted plants to all of them with a shy smile, carry a ghoul who fell asleep on the couch to their bed, let anyone stay at the greenhouse while he works and hums songs whenever they might need it, lend his huge knitted sweaters and comfy hoodies to everyone who asks, makes something hurt in Swiss' stomach.

How dare he, overbearing, too present, restless Swiss, always trail after the wonder that is Mountain ? How dare he disturb the earth ghoul's peace with his incessant rambling, his attempts at jokes, his too loud laughter ? Guilt swirls inside of him whenever he interrupts something Mountain is doing, even if he never says anything, just puts down whatever he had in hands and tilts his head toward the multi ghoul, ears twitching and lips curling in a smile to indicate he's listening.

Swiss doesn't deserve the peace that fills him when Mountain is around, how could he when he shatters the earth ghoul's own, when he's so wrong and too much, when he takes up so much space and has nothing positive to give in return ?

Mountain is simply too sweet, doesn't deserve the hurricane that Swiss brings with him. And yet, Mountain seeks his presence, comes to him and listens intently to the words flowing out of the multi ghoul's mouth. Swiss doesn't understand why, but it seems to help, and he'd do anything for Mountain.

A soft touch against his chin snaps Swiss out of it. Mountain wipes something on his skin with his thumb, eyes soft and warm, calloused fingers so very gentle on his face. Swiss's heart misses a beat.