#venting on my english and biology assignments

[chaosdisorganized]

Idk if you saw my tags in the last post but damn fuck the education system and the pressure to pass and do well in school. Like my parents took school so seriously I'd get beat for getting any grade below a C. That's fucking crazy, it's crazy that my parents thought the best way to get me to make better grades was terrifying me so much I was too scared to fail. And when I'd cry after getting a bad report card from teachers or something they thought I was just trying to guilt them and would tell me stuff like it's all my fault and shit. Like no bitch I'm crying because my parents are going to hurt me for this. I stopped making bad grades after freshmen year because I got really good at cheating and bullshitting but then I became less worried about actually learning the material and more worried about getting all my work done. I didn't read a single assigned English book, I got all A's in English. I didn't learn anything in AP Biology, I got A's and B's. I have no idea how I ended up in CCP pre calculus senior year but I passed, I suck at math bro. And its not like I didn't have any help obviously because of the trauma associated with it I ended up with alters who's purpose was to do a bunch of school work at once and I also had a 504 plan which helped a lot and I still turned in a bunch of assignments late but my 504 covered that as long as I told the teacher I needed more time. But damn that was rough. Fuck school and the education system and the pressure to do well. I ended up in Honors and CCP and AP classes when I suddenly stopped failing and actually started getting good grades and damn fuck those kinds of classes too, they give way too much work to poor high schoolers. I remember how much shit I had to do in those classes and when you take multiple at a time it's just a lot. I tried college twice now and I actually think college assigns less work than those damn classes. Anyways sorry for the rant vent thing I'm really stoned.

[ynwa-chiesa]

My breaks over and i havent done anything and im not prepared for school next week.... I just want another week off please 😭

[ssidesblog]

teacher au !

(i only know how the american education system works + my school is very standard and could even be argued its worse than most public schools but thats my only point of reference ! ap stands for advanced placement and essentially means classes someone can take in hs and at the end of the year take a test, if the test is passed they gain college credit.)

roman: the loud drama teacher who doubles as the ap english teacher for the senior class. hes the teacher all the gay kids go to when they need to vent or just need advice. he makes his english class as interesting as possible; its the ap senior class so the entire course is focused on british literature, the shakespeare unit is always everybodys favorite bc roman knows so much and makes everything much easier to understand. his theatre classes are extremely chaotic and are his favorite classes of the day. the drama room is a safe space for a lot of the gay kids at school and roman makes sure hes in his room during lunch every day unless theres Important Teacher Buissness he needs to attend to. hes the director for the after school plays and 'makes' virgil codirect with him (hes in charge of all the techies). he has his favorite students (he would never admit it but like everyone Knows) who often view him as a parental/older brother type figure. hes stayed after school with kids for hours until their rides came and has even given kids rides home. hes really close to his kids and each year he cries when the senior class leaves. the theatre department doesnt get a lot of funding so roman works hard to put on shows that they can be proud of and each year he becomes more and more motivated to being new people into theatre.

logan: hes the junior year ap language + composition teacher !!! he tutors for every subject bc hes knowledgeable so he teaches basically every subject. a lot of kids go to his room during lunch + after school for tutoring and hes the reason half the school is actually passing their classes. he chose to teach language and compisition bc he loves language and being able to teach the importance of it. all of the students know just the right thing to say to get him off course and just talking about anything (theyre favorite thing is to ask about space) and he spends almost the entire period talking about that and not the actual lesson. logan + roman's english classes are next to each other and theres a door that seperates them. often times students will find sticky notes on the little window of the door that logan and roman have written for each other. all of the students think theyre secretly dating or at least WANT them to be. roman likes to go into logans class and be annoying when hes on his free period. hes also the debate teacher ! during free periods roman helps logan with his debate students. roman and logan often times get way too out of hand and their debates turn into a 'what not to do during a debate' example.

virgil: the art teacher ! theres only three art classes (beginning, intermediate, and ap) and he teaches all of them. during the start of the year hes fairly quiet and reserved but a lot of his students really like him. hes a very relaxed teacher and similar to roman gives a safe space for kids to hang out. a lot of the more reserved gay kids hang out in his room during lunch. he takes three days a week to make sure hes available to tutor during lunch, hes not as smart as logan but he has a good grasp on math so he helps a lot of his art students with their math work (theyre gay art kids ofc they dont know how to do math). virgil assigns the beginning + intermediate class to paint backgrounds for the plays and thats usually two weeks to a month that he takes his class to the drama room to work. its a way more loud atmosphere as roman also has classes going on. this is when a lot of the students see that virgil is not nearly as quiet and reserved as they thought. when hes around roman hes a lot more talkative; he's constantly jokingly making fun of roman and being a scarcastic pain in the ass. every year thats when his classes shift and hes a lot more open and fun with his classes. he plays music during class since hes not lecturing most of the time. he switches from playing classical to emo music, sometimes within the same day.

patton: hes the psychology teacher ! he only has two classes he actually teaches so when he isnt teaching hes actually a one of the two school psychologists (the other one being picani). he teaches two normal psych classes and leaves ap to janus ! hes a very hands on teacher and does lots of example based learning ! during lunch a lot of his students can be seen doing surveys to collect data for an assignment. as a school psychologist he makes sure to be as welcoming as possible, he understands why a lot of students dont want to see a school psychologist, they dont have a good rep. the kids who do see him though feel extremely safe and secure around him. hes really good at calming kids down from panic attacks, his office is filled with stim toys and theres at least 10 weighted blankets. some times kids come in just to take naps. virgil hangs out in his office a lot whenever students arent there. logan comes in on especially stressful days to either nap or read. roman borrows fidget toys from him on days where his adhd is particularly bad. remus comes in sometimes to get quick and weird psychology facts. janus and him have long discussions about philosophy and grade papers together !!

remus: anatomy and biology/ap bio teacher >:3 he is so insanley chaotic. he wanted to also teach chemistry but the principal (thomas) did NOT trust him to be around chemicals. disections are always fun ! he encourages students to NOT eat anything they disect bc hes alr tried it and it doesnt taste good (nobody knows if this is a joke or not). hes a very jokey teacher and is a fake asshole to all of his students. he is not a harsh grader at all and honestly even of a student dont get a single thing right on a test theyll probably pass as long as they tried ! roman often comes into his room during one of his free periods to tell stories about the borderline psychopathic shit remus used to do as a kid. theres a lot of storytelling in his class and each time the students are in disbelief. despite the chaos, remus is a really good teacher and everyone who takes his class learns a lot. hes definetly known to be one of the more interesting teachers and none of his classes are ever boring.

janus: he teaches ap psych, gov/econ (both normal and ap) and ap us history ! he has no free periods and he is completely ok with that. he and logan are both known for being chatty cathys and his ap psych class takes full advantage of that as a way to learn. although theyre different, janus talks a lot about philosophy to his psych students and applies a lot of what theyre learning to different philosophies. his gov/econ classes are more chaotic. theres a lot of debates and he still applies philosophy to a lot of the ideas he teaches in those classes. his ap us history class is the most chaotic. the debates in his gov/econ classes are more amoungst students but his us history class has held a lot of debates against janus and his more closeminded students. janus teaches a lot of stuff not normally taught like black history is america, native history, and a lot of the shit america did Wrong in the past and how its affecting the present. on top of his full class schedule hes the advisor for mock trial who meets afterschool. patton comes in to help the best he can (usually hes a 'what not to do' example). roman also comes in to help them make their roles the best they can possibly be

[big-idiot-wolf-boys]

Nightfall: Twilight Reimagined -2-

-1-

Still feeling very much like canon here, and very much the day to day life of Bella Swan. Check out my fancast here if you want to know what I’m imagining these characters to look like as I’m writing them!

                                                          ****

    The next day wasn’t much worse than the first, I guess that had to count for something. The second day of school is easier than the first because you know what to expect. Like Mike sitting next to me in English and then escorting me to my next class. Eric glared at Mike the whole time. Thankfully, everyone outside of the group I had somehow been adopted into seemed to have forgotten about me already.

   The rain appeared to be gone for now, but the clouds were dark and dense-- it could always decide to make a comeback.

  We had a surprise test in Trig, and I didn’t even know the formulas we were supposed to be using. I made a mental note to hide my grades from Charlie, I couldn't manage to do much more than basic algebra. In Spanish, Jessica and I were paired together to translate recipes from Spanish to English. All morning, I worried about lunch. Not where to sit or what to eat; I was worried about having to endure those strange, hateful glares from Edward Cullen. If it were anyone else, I’d just ask what his damage was. Something about the Cullens struck me as strange, though. I remembered Edward’s coal-black eyes and shuddered.

    It turned out that I had nothing to worry about. When Jessica and I entered the cafeteria, Edward was nowhere in sight. A quick scan of the room proved the rest of the Cullen siblings were sitting at their usual table, but he was not with them.

   Mike spotted us and bounded up to lead us to the table. Jessica was thrilled, and the others from yesterday quickly joined us. Today, I picked up some of the names I hadn’t yesterday. Lauren, Tyler, and Ben rounded out this loose collective of friends. Lauren had long blonde hair, pale skin, and pretty green eyes. She hadn't spoken to me much, and I tried not to take it personally. Tyler was tall and athletic-looking, with dark skin, his hair and eyes were a matching brown. Ben was the shortest of the group, he had golden-brown skin and black hair that he wore with bangs swooped to one side, landing just above his glasses. I tried to focus on the conversations going on around me but my thoughts kept wandering back to Edward. I was dreading the moment he entered the room and turned his angry gaze on me.

   My anxiety only grew while I waited. My appetite never appeared, my muscles were tense, and my knee was shaking so much that the chair under me squeaked in protest. He never appeared, rendering all my anxious energy useless.

   After lunch came Biology. I approached the door with dread coiling in my stomach. Maybe he'd decided to get lunch somewhere else in town, which meant he would still be in class. I hesitated outside for as long as I dared, but the warning bell sounded. Classes were starting.

   Edward wasn’t in his seat when I entered, and the dread faded. Until about halfway through class when the realization hit me, it had merely transformed into a messy combination of guilt and irritation.

   How could I have pushed Edward away before I even had a chance to speak to him? How could he hate me so much he’d skip school to avoid me?

   I told myself repeatedly that  I couldn’t possibly be the problem. After all, Edward didn’t even know me. Still, the voice in the back of my mind that said it was all my fault just wouldn’t go away.

   The day took a turn towards terrible when we had soccer in gym. I tripped over my own feet several times, fell in the mud, scraped my palms, and even misaimed a kick so much that the ball hit one of my classmates in the face. After that, the teacher told me to stand in the corner of the field and watch. When school finally let out, I practically ran to my truck. I slammed the door in my hurry to get inside and cringed over it. Then I turned the key and put the heater on high, waiting for the warm air to come rushing out of the vents.

   I backed out of my space and into the line of people waiting to exit the parking lot. As I waited for my turn to leave, I saw the Cullens and the Hale twins getting into their car. A shiny Ford. Of course. Previously, I’d been too dazzled by the Cullens’ supernatural beauty to notice their clothing, but now it was obvious they came from money. I felt a brief stab of jealousy. It wasn’t enough that they were so pretty, they had to be well off, too?

   I yanked my gaze away from them but I could feel the group stare at me as I drove past them. Did they share the theory that I drove Edward away?

   This morning, Charlie had asked me to pick up a few things from the grocery store after school. It was only a few minutes away- but so was everything else. The bright lights and stocked shelves reminded me of doing the shopping back home. I fell into the familiar pattern with ease. It was practically second nature how I ghosted through the aisles, keeping track of Charlie's budget in my head.

   When I got back to the house, I shoved the groceries wherever they could fit and began to prep dinner. All it took was tossing some steaks in a marinade and throwing some potatoes in the oven. This was a meal that I knew Charlie would approve of, and the perfect way to introduce him to the idea of me doing the cooking.

   When I finished the prep, I took my backpack upstairs and threw on a pair of pjs, tying my hair up afterward. Glancing at my school bag again, I sighed. Most of the homework I’d been assigned today was covering things I’d already done back home-- and I wasn’t looking forward to repeating it.

    Instead, I put the effort into checking my email for the first time since my arrival. Charlie still had dial-up, and the laptop beeped and screeched at me as it connected. Renee had signed us both up for a service called NetMail through AOL so we could stay in touch through e-mail.

   Three unopened messages.

    Bella,

      Write to me as soon as you get time. I want to know everything about your flight! How is Charlie doing? Is it raining there? I’m sure it is.

      I miss you already. I’m almost finished packing for Florida, but I can’t find that pink floral shirt. Do you know where I put it?

      Phil says hi and good luck at school tomorrow. We love you!

      Mom

    That was sent about three hours into my five-hour flight to Seattle. I sighed and clicked the next one. It was sent eight hours after the first.

    Bella,

      Why haven’t you emailed me back? I’m waiting to hear from you.

      Mom

    The newest email was from this morning.

    Isabella Swan, if I haven’t heard from you by 5:30 pm, I will call Charlie.  

  My mom and I had always gotten along well, but Renee had leaned on me for a lot. I was sure that she was spiraling already. I glanced at the clock in the corner of the screen. There was still an hour until mom’s deadline, but I had a feeling she would get antsy and call early.

    Mom,

      Everything is   fine.    Don’t worry. I was just waiting for something to write about.

      Bella.

    Send.

   Now that the danger of my mother interrupting Charlie’s workday was out of the way, I began a second email.

    Mom,

      Your blouse is at the dry cleaners, you were supposed to pick it up after dropping me off at the airport.  

      Of course it’s raining. I have to slosh through puddles to get to every single class I have. Speaking of, school is fine. Repetitive.   I’ve already done most of what we’re covering. Easy graduation credits, I guess!

      Charlie bought me a truck! I couldn’t believe it. It’s this old, sturdy thing. Which is good. You know. For me. I love it.

      I miss you too. I can’t check my email every five minutes, though. Breathe. It’ll be okay. I’ll write again when I have something interesting to talk about, I promise. I love you.

      Bella

    The novel we were studying in English was Wuthering Heights, which happened to be one of my favorites. My copy of the book was a well-worn hardback, the edges of the cover softened with age. It was easy to sink into the familiar fictional world; by the time Lockwood was having his first nightmare, the sounds of the world around me had blurred and faded into the background.

   “Bella?” My dad’s voice rumbled downstairs.

  Oh, crap, I had forgotten all about dinner! After hastily shoving a bookmark into place, the book was tossed onto my pillow. I rushed downstairs, tripping over my own feet at the bottom step, but Charlie was there to catch me by the shoulders.

   “Where’s the fire?” He asked, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

  “I forgot about dinner,” I explained sheepishly, leading the way to the kitchen to pull the potatoes out of the oven. I put the steak in to broil before turning around to look at Charlie with an apologetic smile. “I wanted to have it ready for when you got home.”

   “Bells, you don’t have to do that.” He said with a small frown. He must think I had the same bizarre food tastes as Renee. Her experiments in the kitchen often ended up in the trash, completely inedible.

    “It’s just steak and potatoes.” I shrugged dismissively, fluttering one hand. To balance out my mom’s wacky dinners, I had learned how to fend for myself and make it taste pretty good, too.

   “That’s not what I meant,” Charlie said, hanging his jacket on the back of his chair at the table.

  “What did you mean?” He set the table while I pulled the food out of the oven. I caught him sniffing appreciatively at the air.

   “I  mean,  I should be the one cooking dinner, not the other way around.” There was an unspoken  duh. As if nothing in the world made more sense than for Charlie to cook dinner for us. My throat tightened a little and my eyes watered. I turned to get myself a glass of water so I could collect myself without him seeing how something so simple had affected me.

   “Oh.”

   Charlie sat at the table, and I sat across from him.

  “It smells good, though. Thanks, Bell.”  He smiled warmly at me and I noticed how his eyes were beginning to crinkle at the corners. He was beginning to show signs of age now; lines in his face, salt and pepper flecked his scruff.

   We ate in silence for a while, which was more than fine by me. Charlie and I were quiet people and though I had misjudged my role here, we were good housemates.

   “How was school?” He asked, interrupting my thoughts, “Make any friends yet?”

  “Well…” I tapped some pepper onto my potatoes to stall for time. “Everyone’s really nice. I sit with a group of people at lunch, but I don’t know if I’d say we’re friends yet.”

   “Sitting with people at lunch is a good way to start making friends,” Charlie encouraged me. Was it that obvious how worried I was about being the new kid? And the reaction I’d gotten from certain classmates…

   “Do you know the Cullen family?” I asked suddenly, curiosity overtaking me before I could stop it.

   “Dr. Cullen’s family? Sure.”

   “The kids don’t seem to fit in.” I decided not to worry Charlie with Edward’s reaction to me.

  “Dr. Cullen has been a huge help to the community, you know,” Charlie said, more strongly than before. “We’re lucky to have him. He could have his pick of jobs all over the place. His wife wanted a small-town life, though. Sure, I was worried when they moved here with all those kids, but I haven't had one ounce of trouble from them.” He was really gathering steam now. “But just because they’re new to town and a little different, people just have to gossip about them.”

   I rethought my approach.

  “I just meant that they sort of stick to themselves.” I tucked my hair behind my ear before continuing. “They all seem pretty smart.” Or just pretty.

   Charlie shrugged one shoulder. “Guess there’s not much you can do in a town like this. People decided they were outsiders, so why should they try to make friends? Maybe you’ll have something in common with one of them.”

   I didn’t answer him, too busy thinking about what he’d said. We finished eating in silence, and he cleared the table before I had a chance to. I stood next to the table, feeling a little useless.

   “You don’t have to take care of me, you know,” I said, nodding to the pile of dirty dishes that Charlie had just finished stacking next to the sink.

   “That’s my job, Bells.” He kissed my forehead before retiring to the living room to put on the game of the night. I blinked quickly to counter the sudden wetness that sprung up in the corners of my eyes.

   Determined to help out around the house somehow, I turned back to the dishes. Charlie might want to take care of me, but that didn’t mean I had to be a freeloader. I washed the dishes by hand, and set them in the rack to dry. With no other preoccupations, there was nothing left to do but trudge upstairs to work on my math homework

   When I finally tumbled into bed, exhausted, I slept dreamlessly.

  The rest of the week flew by in an uneventful blur. I learned where all my classes were and how to get to them the fastest. I was also able to place most of my classmate’s names to their faces- and they knew not to pick me in gym class. Jessica was still happily chatting my ear off at every opportunity, and when I needed a reprieve from that- Angela Weber was there to quietly discuss Wuthering Heights.

   Edward Cullen didn’t return to school.

  The whole week, I shared my first class of the day with Rosalie, but I could never gather the courage to speak to her and ask what her brother’s problem was, or if he was coming back. Every day, I watched their table to confirm that he wasn’t there, then I could relax. Recently, Mike had really been pushing the idea of a weekend beach trip, and Jess and Angela always made sure to mention that I was welcome to come. I agreed to go, mostly out of a want to get to know my new friends. Whatever they called a beach here would only fall short of my expectations. By Friday, I confidently walked into Biology with the knowledge that Edward wouldn’t be there with his strange, hateful stare.

  My first weekend in Forks was, predictably, boring. Charlie, who had been working weekends for the last fifteen years, spent most of his time at the Sheriff’s Office. I spent my time cleaning the house, reading ahead for English class, and emailing with my mom.

   On Saturday, I went to the Forks Public Library but I was disappointed by their selection, and didn’t even bother to get a card. I looked at the local stores to see what their small selections had, but no dice. It seemed I was going to have to make a trip out of town if I wanted any new reading material. Would my truck be okay on the freeway?

   Thankfully, the rain remained a soft pattering and didn’t hinder my sleep too much.

  On Monday morning, people smiled and waved at me in the parking lot. I waved back, even at the people whose names escaped me. It was cold this morning, but the rain had taken a hiatus.

   In English, Mike sat next to me, reliable as ever. We had a surprise quiz on Wuthering Heights, no doubt I would get an excellent grade on it. I was more confident and comfortable in Forks High School than I had expected even a week ago. More comfortable than I had  ever expected to be in Forks.

  When English ended, the class streamed outside… and into a flurry of white tufts in the air. I could hear teenagers yelling gleefully from every direction. My nose twinged in the cold.

   “Snow!” Mike grinned.

   I shoved my hands into my pockets, surveying the sidewalk for ice. “Ew.” I wrinkled my nose.

   “You don’t like snow?” Mike asked, his gleeful look dampening significantly.

  “I guess it’s better than rain.” I conceded. “But I thought it was supposed to be prettier than this. Distinct flakes or whatever.”

   Mike looked at me with all the disbelief he could muster. “You’ve never  seen snow?”

   “Well, yeah. On TV.” I said defensively.

  Mike laughed, but the sound was cut short by a ball of slush hitting him in the back of the head. I anxiously looked in the direction it had come from, ready to use my backpack as a shield. Eric had his back to us, walking in the wrong direction for his next class. Mike knelt down to scoop up his own ball of mush.

   “You know what, I’ll just see you at lunch,” I said hurriedly, beginning to make my way towards the school. “Once people start throwing things, I get out of range.” I shot him an apologetic smile, but his eyes were trained on Eric’s back.

  The only thing anyone wanted to talk about was the snow’s sudden arrival. I bit my tongue, to not ruin everyone else’s excitement. It seemed like I was the only one who wasn’t fond of the cold, wet weather.

  When it came time for lunch, I hurried to the cafeteria with Jess. Snowballs were flying left and right, though they didn’t really stick together well enough to be qualified as a ball. Jessica thought that I was being dramatic about the whole thing, but she was nice enough to not pull me into the brief snowball fight between herself, Mike, Eric, Ben.

   The fight only lasted from building 3 to building 1, where the cafeteria was. Mike opened the door for us. They argued about who had won as we waited in line to pay for our food. Nothing but habit brought my eyes to the table that the four Cullens occupied every day. Only today there were five of them. I froze where I stood. It would be better to be back out in the snow.

   Jess tapped on my shoulder. “Earth to Bella! Hello?”

  I looked down, feeling the heat from my cheeks up to the tips of my ears when I blushed. There was nothing to be embarrassed about, though, I firmly reminded myself.

   “Are you alright?” Mike asked, leaning over Jessica’s shoulder to look at me.

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled, tucking my hair back. I carelessly tossed an apple and milk crate onto my tray and followed my friends.

   “Are you sure you feel okay?” Ben pressed.

  “Actually, I feel kind of sick,” I admitted, sitting next to Jess and keeping my eyes down. Twice more during lunch, someone asked how I was feeling. For a fleeting moment, I considered playing it up so I could skip my next class. Biology with Edward. I almost shuddered at the thought but reminded myself that I’d done nothing wrong. Edward was the one with the problem. I steeled myself and looked at the Cullen’s table. If he still looked at me like I was some kind of loathsome monster, maybe I  would skip.

   At the end of the table, Mike laughed boisterously at something; this was my excuse to look in that direction, and then peer past him to the table where the otherworldly family was sitting. None of them looked at me. I sat up straighter. They were joking and laughing with each other. They appeared to have snow in their hair, though it was melting rapidly under the school’s heating system. Rosalie and Edward were leaning away as Jasper shook his head like a dog- causing icy water to fly at them. They were just enjoying the snow like everyone else, only they looked like movie stars.

   Besides how loud and happy they were compared to last week, there was something else that was amiss about the scene. I found myself staring at them individually as I tried to figure it out. I was the most familiar with Rosalie, since we shared a class, so I started with her. She looked the same as ever: stunningly beautiful. The others looked the same as always too, maybe the scene had seemed off because Edward had returned.

   I looked at him with the most attention. He was flushed, for one. Maybe from laughter, or the cold. It looked like he had finally gotten a good night’s sleep, the bags under his eyes were much less pronounced. There was still something, though…

   “Bella, what  are you staring at?” Jess asked me, pushier than usual. How long had I been spacing out?

   Her eyes followed my gaze.

  Edward looked our way as if we had called out to him, even though we were all the way across the room. I looked away quickly, but not quickly enough. Our eyes met for just a second. He wasn’t wearing that angry expression from last week, he looked curious again.

   What was this guy’s deal? Why couldn’t he make up his mind?

   “Edward Cullen is staring at you.” She said in a hushed voice.

  “Really?” I squeaked. “I don’t think he likes me.” I felt queasy, and offered to trade Eric my milk for his water bottle. He accepted and I took a large gulp of the refreshing liquid as soon as he passed it over.

   “It’s okay, Bella.” She said comfortingly. “The Cullen’s don’t usually like anyone. But he’s still looking at you.”

   “Stop looking!” I hissed.

   She giggled, but looked away. I took a smaller sip of water, focusing with all my might on not looking at the Cullens.

  Mike spoke up then, and I had never been more thankful for his interruption. He was planning a snowball fight after school, and announced it loud enough for everyone to hear. Jessica agreed enthusiastically, but I was starting to think she would agree to do anything as long as Mike was involved. I decidedly didn’t speak up, and began to plot where to hide until the fight was over and I could safely make it to my truck.

   When the bell rang, I made my way to the door quickly-- hoping to avoid walking to class with Mike, who seemed to be a large target for snowballs. But he and my other friends caught up to me in two long strides. When we got to the door, everyone groaned. The snow had pretty much stopped coming down, and what little snow had stuck to the ground was muddy and gross. I hid my pleased smile and tested the iciness of the sidewalk. As good a grip as any other day. Well, on a good day for me. Mike complained about the snow’s disappearance until we got to the door of the biology classroom.

  I was relieved to see my table was empty and rushed to it as if getting there first allowed me some kind of claim on the space. Of course, this wasn’t the case, but it made me feel better nonetheless.  I had been here all last week, after all.

  Mrs. Ramone began to hand out microscopes and slides, and my classmates chattered quietly among themselves. I doodled on the cover of my notebook, sketching out the sparrow I could see from the window next to my table.

   The chair next to me was pulled out with an unsettling screech, but I very carefully kept my eyes averted from my tablemate.

   “Hello,” Said a quiet, musical voice.

  This was the first time one of the Cullens had spoken directly to me, and something about the windchime quality of Edward's voice sent a shock through me. I sat rigidly and whipped my head around to face him.

  He was sitting at the furthest end of the desk, like last week, but his chair was turned so that he was facing me. It almost seemed casual but something was jarring about the whole thing. He seemed unnatural somehow, like he didn’t belong here. His expression was friendlier than I expected, a polite smile gracing his features, but his eyes were guarded.

   “I’m sure you’ve already gathered by now, but I’m Edward Cullen,” He continued, “And you’re Bella Swan, right?”

   My mind swam. Had I completely imagined Edward’s hostility? He was friendly now, if a little strange.

   “Why did you call me Bella?” I blurted.

   “Oh, is Bella for friends only? I just-” Edward faltered.

  “No, I prefer Bella. Everyone called me Isabella when I first got here… I guess Charlie- I mean, my dad- must call me that when I’m not around.” I explained, feeling even more out of my element than usual. I felt tongue-tied in front of this strange guy.

   Thankfully, Ms. Romane clapped her hands together to gather our attention. I was incredibly grateful for being saved from any more embarrassing small talk. Today, we were going to be identifying and sorting cells into the phases of mitosis without looking at our books. The teacher would be making rounds at the end of class to see who got it right.

   “Let’s get going everyone!” She clapped her hands together again.

  “Shall we?” Edward asked, smiling crookedly as he pushed the microscope towards me. I was once again struck by his dazzling beauty-- until his smile began to fade. “Or I can start,” He added. Shoot, I must have waited too long to answer him.

   “I can do it.” I shook my head a little to clear it from the fuzz that had momentarily clouded my mind. I hoped I wasn’t blushing.

   Okay, maybe I wanted to show off a little. My previous school had been more advanced than Forks High, and I had already done this before. It was easy. I slid the little glass slide into place and adjusted the microscope until it was properly focused. It only took me a few seconds for me to assess the slide.

   “Prophase.”

  I started to remove the slide, but Edward reached out to stop me. “Mind if I look?” His hand was freezing, as if he had just come in from playing with the snow. I couldn’t help but gasp and pull my hand away. Besides being cold, it was as though he had shocked me. I tried to chalk it up to static electricity he took the microscope.

   Curiously, I watched him examine the slide. He had barely looked at the thing before writing  prophase gracefully on our worksheet. He switched out the slides and glanced at the second one just as quickly as the first.

   “Anaphase,” He said, writing it down as he spoke.

   “Mind if I check?” I asked, sounding more courageous than I felt.

  Edward pushed the microscope my way, this time avoiding any contact between us. I tried to look as quickly as possible. I was disappointed, he was right.

   “The next one?” I asked, my competitive nature peeking out. He handed it to me, still careful to not let our skin touch.

   “Interphase,” I announced. He took the microscope from me with an amused smile.

  Despite our competition, we were the first team finished. Mike and his partner, a girl named Ali, were comparing two slides repeatedly. Another group seemed to have broken a slide and were trying to tape it back together. I tried to hide my own amused smile at that. Unfortunately, finishing first meant that we had nothing to do but wait for the end of class. I tried not to look at him, but that didn’t last long.

    When I glanced up, Edward was looking at me with intensity. Frustrated again, like he was trying to remember something. Suddenly, it clicked in my brain. Why his family looked so different.

   “Are you wearing contacts?” I asked. Oops. I hope that wasn’t being rude.

   Edward blinked in surprise. “No,” The way he said it, with a lilt towards the end, made it sound like a question.

   “Oh.” I mumbled. “I just thought there was something different about your eyes.”

   He shrugged. “They are kind of a weird color, right? I think it’s genetic.”

  I was sure that it was something other than a mutated brown color, though. I could distinctly remember the black color of his eyes the first time I had seen him. The stark contrast between his hateful stare and the pallor of his face. Only today, his eyes weren’t black. They were a dark butterscotch color, the golden tone that shone in them complimented his bronze hair. I couldn’t make sense of how that could be. Unless he was lying about the contacts. Maybe I had just imagined the darkness of his eyes in my anxiety.

   I glanced down. Edward’s hands were clenched into fists. Only for a moment. Then they smoothed out and he smiled at me. I almost forgot to be suspicious of him.

   Ms. Ramone came to check our work. She squinted at the paper then frowned at Edward. “You didn’t share with your partner, Edward?” She asked, looking at the worksheet holding only Edward’s elegant handwriting on it.

   “Bella actually identified three out of five of the slides, Ms. Ramone,” Edward said with a charming smile.

   She turned to me then. “Well done, Bella. Have you taken this class before?”

   “Not with onion root,” I admitted with a sheepish smile.

   “Whitefish?”

   “Yeah.”

   She nodded. “Were you an advanced placement student in your last school?”

   “Only in science and English.” I couldn’t help being a little proud.

  “I suppose it’s good that you and Edward are partnered, then.” She said with a small chuckle, moving on to check Mike and Ali’s work. I began to doodle on my notebook again, filling in little details to my drawing from before.

   “Too bad about the snow, huh?” Edward asked, his musical voice jarring me out of my thoughts. I hated small talk, and I had the feeling he was only forcing himself to be polite to me, anyway.

   “Not really.” I mumbled, past bothering to hide my irritation with the weather.

   “You don’t like the cold?”

   “Or the wet.”

   “It doesn’t sound like Forks is your kind of place, then.” He said, thoughtfully.

   “You have no idea,” I grumbled, glancing at the window and privately shooing the clouds away.

   He looked like I had said something incredibly profound. I impossibly tried not to be distracted by his expression.

  “So why’d you move here?” His voice was pure curiosity. He didn’t want to know because I was the shiny new toy, gossip for his friends. He seemed genuinely interested and no one had bothered to ask me that yet, especially so pointedly. It took me by surprise.

   “Um.”

   “You don’t have to tell me.” It looked like he couldn’t bear not knowing.

   I hesitated, but met his eyes. His golden gaze captivated me, and I blurted out an answer without even thinking about it.

   “My mom got married.”

   “Oh, and you didn’t like the guy?”

   “No, Phil’s great. Really.”

  “So why didn’t you stay with them?” Edward’s voice was still burning with curiosity, but there was an underlying kindness to it.

    It didn’t make any sense why he was so interested. He was staring at me like I was holding the answers to the universe. If he was always this intense, it was going to give me whiplash the next time he decided that he was going to be hostile.

   “Phil’s a minor league baseball player, so he travels a lot.” I smiled, remembering piling into his van with my mom to travel with them. It had been fun, for a while.

   “Is he famous?” Edward asked in a light tone.

   “I don’t think you’ll have heard of him.”

  “So your mother sent you here so that she could travel with her new husband?” Edward tried to untangle the threads of my story.

   I shook my head, almost insulted. “No,” I said indignantly, “I sent myself.”

   His brows furrowed. “I don’t get it.”

   I sighed. Why was I explaining this to him anyway?  Why did he care?

  “Well. She stayed home with me for a while, but she missed him. It made her unhappy, that didn’t work. So the three of us traveled together for a while. That was fun, but it wasn’t…” I struggled to find the right word, “Stable. So I decided that it was time that I came to be with my dad.” I tried not to sound glum about being stuck in Forks because the truth was that I really  was glad to spend time with Charlie. I just wished we got to spend time together somewhere else.

   “But you’re not happy.” He said simply.

   “So?” I raised an eyebrow.

   “It’s not fair,” He shrugged, but their eyes hadn’t lost their intensity. “It sucks.”

   “Why’s it matter to you anyway?” I demanded, resisting the urge to childishly stick my tongue out at him.

  “Good question.” He muttered, mostly to himself. That seemed like the only answer I was going to get. This was confirmed by Ms. Ramone interrupting us by calling for the class’s attention. I couldn’t understand how this bizarre, beautiful boy had gotten me to reveal more about my life to him than any of my new friends had. And there was still the mystery of whether or not he hated me. He had seemed friendly enough during our conversation, but I could see him leaning away from me now, hands curled into fists again.

   I tried to at least look like I was paying attention to Ms. Ramone’s debriefing.

   When the bell  finally rang, Edward swiftly took his leave. He moved gracefully, like a large cat on the prowl. I stared after him in amazement and Mike took this as an opportunity to hop to my side.

   “That sucked!” He groaned. “I couldn’t tell any of ‘em apart. You’re lucky you had Cullen to do it for you.”

  “I identified half of ours,” I snapped at Mike, stung by his comment and frustrated by Edward. Immediately, I regretted taking out my strange mood on him. It didn’t seem to dull Mike’s mood much.

   “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” He said, holding his hands up in surrender.

  He changed the subject to the beach trip, lamenting that the snow from earlier indicated that it was still too cold to go. His chattering just couldn’t hold my attention as we walked to gym.  He was on my team today, and graciously let me sit out. I still managed to catch my toe on the lip of the doorway and almost tripped on my way out after class.

    A mist was gathering in the parking lot as I made my way to my truck. I idly thought about giving it a name, if it had enough personality to warrant giving it one. Time would tell on that. As per my new routine, I hopped into the cab and turned the heater on high. My cold hands warmed in front of the vents before fluffing up my damp hair so it would dry out on the short drive home.

   Before backing up, I looked around to make sure no one was behind me. I noticed a still, pale figure in my mirror and realized it was Edward Cullen. He was leaning against his Ford, staring right at me. My heart jolted in my chest, causing my foot to jump off the clutch too fast-- the engine stalled. I groaned and rolled my eyes. Turning the engine over again and cautiously pulling out, I stared ahead as I drove. As I passed, I could swear Edward was laughing at me.

[addictofsupernatural]

The Southsider (pt. 2)

Sweet Pea x reader

Chapter Summary: Things are getting off to a great start with Sweet Pea and y/n, but what happens when someone finds out her past?

Word Count: 2428

Chapter 1 • Chapter 3

You pulled up at the Whyte Wrym parking lot. Worried that your hair was a mess from the wind, you try to smoothen it. "You look good." Sweet Pea reaches his hand out for you. You smile and blush, looking down and taking his hand.

You two went inside and, much to Toni's delight, were still holding hands. Fangs eyed you both. "Cute." He said as he smirked.

Sweet Pea instantly yanked his hand away from yours. He looked at you with red cheeks. "You know how to play pool?"

"No. You wanna show me?" You smiled.

He grabbed a pool stick and put it in your hands. He stood right behind you, towering over you. "Okay bend down." You both bent down to the pool table. Your face felt extremely hot.

"Easy there, Sweets. Big brother is watching." Jughead said. Toni and Fangs were compressing their laughter from your blushing face.

Sweet Pea chose to block all of them out. "Hold the stick like this, and put your hand right here." He positions your arms and hands where they need to go. "And hit the ball." The stick then hit the white ball, sending all others if different directions. He then stood, you standing with him. "Looks like your stripes."

You looked at each other, close together. You were about to say something until a hand slaps Sweet Pea's back hard. "Sweet Pea." FP says, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Can I speak to you in private?" He tightens his grip.

"Sure." Sweet Pea said stiffly. They then both went outside.

They both left you worried for Sweet Pea. FP's dad instincts seem to have kicked in. Once those doors closed, the tight smile on his face was gone. "What the hell do you think your doing in there?"

"I was just teaching her how to play pool-"

"She's not just some cheap piece of meat that you can throw away after getting what you want."

"No! I wouldn't do that to her. I just thought she might have fun-"

FP yanked the collar of his jacket, pointing a finger at him. "You better watch yourself."

"-playing pool! I thought she might have fun playing pool." Sweet Pea defensively put his hands up.

He then let go of him. "Careful, boy. You don't use a girl like that."

Sweet Pea nodded and quickly walked back inside. When you saw him, it looked like he had seen a ghost. "Sweets, you good?" You put a hand on his arm.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm good." You were still pretty worried, so you gently squeezed his arm and let go.

"You wanna finish that pool game?"

After the pool game you talked with the four a while before Sweet Pea stood up. "It's kinda late, I'll take you home."

You gave him directions as you rode to the Northside with him. You stopped at a small house that had no cars in it's driveway. "Are your mom and dad out?" He asked as you hopped off.

"No, I live with my aunt. She's away on another business thing. It's just me right now." You shifted in your place, wanting to change the subject. "Tonight was cool, Pea. Thanks for that."

He nodded. You start to walk to the door when Sweet Pea asked, "What, no goodnight kiss?"

You turned around and looked at him and his teasing smile. You walked up to him and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Good night, Sweets. Can't wait to see you at school tomorrow." You turned and walked inside.

"Night." He said quietly. When you left he slowly went into the biggest smile ever. He then drove off, excited for tomorrow to come.

What the two of you didn't know was that at that exact moment Reggie was breaking into the sheriff's office to find anything he could on you, and what he found was unexpected. And just what he needed. He couldn't have a rebel at Riverdale High helping the Southside take over the school. Traitors of the Northside need to be punished.

He called Cheryl. "Do you realize what time it is? You have no respect for beauty sleep."

"I got something on y/n."

"I'm listening."

"I don't want to ruin the surprise yet, but get as many people as you can. Tomorrow at lunch we'll show those snakes that if they mess with us, we mess with those they care about."

"See you tomorrow then."

The next day you walked to school, meeting Kevin at the front. You looked at him very excitedly. "I went to the Whyte Wrym last night!"

His mouth flew open. "The Serpents' hang out spot?!" He nodded your head, blushing like crazy. He linked your arms together. "Tell me more."

As you and Kevin were talking, so were Sweet Pea, Toni and Fangs. "Alright dude, how are you going to get her to like you?"

"You think I know?" Sweet Pea said as they all got off their bikes.

"Maybe you should come on stronger?" Toni suggested.

"Or maybe we should help make them closer." Fangs nodded. Toni reluctantly agreed, and Sweet Pea had come to the conclusion that his friends were going to embarrass the crap out of him today.

You were walking and talking with Kevin when you both see Sweet Pea with Fangs and Toni in the hallways. "You have to go talk to him." Kevin told me.

"Are you sure? I feel more confident in the arms of my favorite gay." You said, playfully clinging to him.

"I'm rooting for you two now, so starting today I will do what I can to support this ship. Now go talk to him." You took a quick break, nodded, and started to walk towards Sweet Pea, but Kevin grabbed your arm. "Just promise you'll be careful?"

"Promise." And with that you were going to walk towards them, but Kevin grabbed your arm again.

"Wait, we have to make this subtle."

"What?"

"We should walk by and pretend to not have noticed them until he says hi. Come on." He grabs your arm and links it with his again.

"Your putting way too much thought into this." You whispered.

"Sh. It'll work."

You then walked closer to him, and just as Kevin said, he took notice in you. "Y/n. Hey." He waved, kind of nervous on how you'd react.

"Oh, hey Sweet Pea!"

"I'll leave you two be!" Kevin said.

You shook your head. "You're a big a loser as I am, Kev." He fixed his strap on his bag and smiled. "See you at lunch." He waved at you and Sweet Pea.

"What's with you two?" Sweet Pea smiled.

"Nothing. Just dorks being dorks together. Hey guys." The other two nod.

Toni taps Fang's arm, and he nods. He goes up to you and fake accidentally pushes you into Sweet Pea. "So how's your morni- oh crap. My bad y/n."

Your body goes forward into Sweet Pea, grabbing onto his jacket to stabilize yourself. "It's okay Fangs."

You then went to stand next to Sweet Pea. Fangs eyed Toni, meaning that it was her turn. She went next to you and leaned on your shoulder hard. "So, y/n, what do you think of the Whyte Wrym?"

Her leaning on you made you stumble into Sweet Pea's side, grabbing onto his arm. "Uh, it was cool. It felt really homey. Hey, you guys got your schedules today, right?"

"Yeah." Sweet Pea said, looking down at you. You were still holding onto his arm.

"Can I see?" They all handed you their papers. "Toni you have bio with me, Fangs we have US History, Sweets we got PE. We all have English together." The bell rang and you gave back the papers. "Toni let's go together."

"Sure." You both started walking towards your class. You turned and smiled, waving towards the two boys, with them waving back.

Right after you turned back around Sweet Pea punched Fangs in the shoulder. "What the hell was that?!"

"She held your arm, didn't she?" Fangs said while holding onto his shoulder.

The rest of your day went by smoothly and quickly. Biology with Toni was fun, and seeing how Fangs was a secret genius in History was interesting. Geometry was kind of slow, but that's what you had Archie there for. Now was fourth period: English.

You all were getting new seats, so all of you were at the perimeter of the room. "Is it me or is there a lot of people staring at us?" You asked Fangs.

"It's the jackets and tattoos. It scares them."

One guy walks past the four of you as he is assigned his seat, saying "Be careful babe, these guys are criminals."

Sweet Pea is extremely close to throwing a punch at this guy, but is stopped as you link your arm to Sweet Pea's, leaning onto him. "No, I think I'd prefer them to some high school has been waiting to happen. Thanks anyways, babe." You turned to Sweet Pea. "What a privledged asshole."

He let out a laugh. You really didn't care about where they came from. He wondered why that was, but dismissed the question.

The teacher then called out your name, followed by Toni, which meant that she sat behind you. When the teacher called him, it was the seat next to yours. He tried his very best to hide his smile. Fangs was behind him. It was perfect.

Your teacher now passed out the school books for Romeo and Juliet. She explained the gist of this unit. What the quizzes will be on, how we need to find literary devises, what writing assignments they will have. It was all so foreign to Sweet Pea. English was his worst subject. He's going to look like an idiot in front of you.

You were all tasked with reading Act I Scenes i-iii. You had to decipher what was going on in the story, and list out literary devices on what is was relating to and what it meant. Sweet Pea was going to die.

"Hey." You said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "You good?"

"No." He said without thinking. "I mean yeah! It's just that I'm crap at English."

"Oh, then let's work on the homework together after school." He wondered how a person could be so nice. "You can pick me up when I'm done with my shift from Pop's."

"When do you get off?"

"Give me your number and I could text you when." This came out without the intention of anything except exchanging information. Once you realized what you said, you felt your cheeks get hot.

You silently handed him your phone. He put in his number, finding it sad that you were more smooth than he is. He still seemed to like being around you.

He gave it back to you with a new contact in your phone. You began to get cold from sitting under the air vent. You started to rub your arms and let down your hair for any sort of warmth.

Sweet Pea noticed this and shimmied out of his jacket. "Here." He handed it to you.

"Oh, no Sweets it's fine-"

"No it's not. You're cold, right? Put on the jacket."

You took it, giving him a teasing smile. "What?"

"You worried about me, Sweets?"

He smirked back. "You care about what I think of you, y/n?"

"Good one." You said, biting your lip as you smiled and looked down at the book to read. Sweet Pea looked at you in the oversized serpent jacket with your hair down. You looked hot and cute at the same time. He then looked back down at his own book, not understanding most of what he was reading. Meanwhile, Toni and Fangs were silently enjoying the show.

The bell rang and what began was what Reggie had been waiting for all day. Lunch.

They walked you to the cafeteria, which you normally don't eat at but you all heard that Reggie had important news. You parted ways with them once you saw your five friends over at a table.

"Oh, my God." Veronica said, staring at you. Kevin looked at you, then widened his eyes and looked again at you. You sat down next to Kevin, wondering why everyone was staring. Betty put a hand over her mouth to try to stop herself from laughing.

"Uh, y/n," Archie said, scratching the back of his head.

"Is that Sweet Pea's?" Jughead bluntly asked.

You looked down in embarrassment and saw that you were still wearing Sweet Pea's serpent jacket. You put your head down and played with the oversized sleeves. "Maybe."

"Wow, I was not expecting that." Veronica said. "What a pleasant surprise."

"Give it to me. I'll give it back to him." Jughead reached his hand out, waiting for the jacket to be given.

"Why?" You whined. "It's comfy. I can see why you guys always wear it."

"We don't wear it for comfort, y/n. It's a symbol of a tribe. It shouldn't just be handed to someone who's cold. It means a lot more than that!"

"So you're saying I'm important to him?" You teased, giving him a smile.

"Now y/n."

You rolled your eyes and took off the jacket. He grabbed it and went over to where his other friends were sitting, angrily saying something you couldn't hear. Sweet Pea shrugged in response and said something else. He then looked at your table, causing everyone else to look away. You kept your gaze at him, giving him a knowing look and a shrug. He smiled in return.

"Eyes in front." Jughead said as he stomped back over to your table. You turned back around and rested your chin on your hand.

"Are you jealous because their chemistry rivals that of bughead?" Kevin asked. Betty giggled and Jughead aggressively munched on his chips.

You turned to Betty. "Has Jughead ever let you wear his jacket?" She smiled and nodded. You jolted up. "What- Jug!"

Before he could protest, Reggie stood on top of a table. "Attention everybody. I have an announcement to make."

-------

Author Note: Sorry, I said I would reveal y/n's past in this chapter, but I wrote a lot and thought this would be a good place to leave off. I just want this to be more fluff than angst.

-------

Tag List:

@madaboutlili @sireennotsiren @elsie2018 @greyfairie @iamaunicorn4704 @wanna-plan-world-domination @whenallsaidanddone @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e

[virgogh-away]

Not the First - Cheryl Blossom x Reader

A/N: Hey so I wrote this a while ago and just decided to post it, so the whole struggle for Kevin to get over Joaquin is pretty much already over in the show. Anyway, I love Cheryl a bunch and I hope you like this!

Ever since B and V became what they were (a beautiful friendship between two girls supporting each other) they threw slumber parties every other week. The location switched between their houses every few weeks or so and, while the first few get togethers only consisted of the blonde and raven-haired girls, eventually the invitation was opened to both you and Kevin.

Since that fateful day, you spent most (if not all) of the week leading up to those sleepovers in eager anticipation. It’s not like your time at school wasn’t fun, you were a straight A student and had a great group of friends to spend the days with, but de-stressing with the girls was a great way to end the week and let loose. Nobody ever got exceptionally wild, in fact, the only person who was ever really itching to go out was Kevin, and he always got shot down.

You were now at one of those slumber parties, jamming to some bubblegum pop while sitting on Betty’s bed, filing your nails. You understood how cliché of an action that was, but you also cared about your nails and needed to be doing something with your hands, so it just worked. Kevin was lounging at the end of the bed, pouring over some trashy gossip magazine (you constantly remind him about how idiotic those things are but then he starts dissing your guilty pleasure, Twilight, and you shut up real quick). Betty and Veronica, meanwhile, are sitting on the floor while the latter braids the former’s hair.

Your conversations typically revolve around school and everything that’d been stressing you all out. Kevin had already vented emotionally about Joaquin leaving, to which you listened to intently and gave him your best motivational mini-speech. You knew that Kev really liked him, so you understood why the serpent’s absence was so heartbreaking for him. He finally had someone who liked and understood him. You had never known that kind of love, but you wish you had.

You all also talked about lighter subjects, like upcoming assignments and tests that were making you worry about your grades slipping (yes, these nerves were mostly coming from you, but you had a GPA to keep up). The other three always reassured you that you were doing completely fine and, so long as you didn’t let procrastination strike, you would be fine.

The topic inevitably always turned to guys.

Kevin zoned out during this segment this time around, which you all understand and didn’t let affect your gossip. In fact, you wished you had an excuse like Keller did, but instead you had to nod and act like you were listening as closely as you would if Michelle Obama was standing in front of you.

Eventually, both Veronica and Betty noticed that you weren’t paying much attention, and weren’t speaking up at all. They realized that they were being somewhat selfish and gushing solely about their respective boyfriends. That wasn’t fair to you and, as Betty racked her brain to talk about something that would interest you, she remembered a juicy conversation she overheard a few days ago.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I can’t believe I never told you,” she announces as she begins to tell her story, both you and Veronica waiting with bated breath to hear something amazing (hopefully), “Well I was in Biology this past week and I heard Reggie telling Chuck how cute he thinks you are!”

You deflate somewhat as you realize that this is what you were momentarily excited about. You knew you shouldn’t have gotten too hopeful, since you tended to be let down when these conversations occurred. And now, thinking back over what she said, you turn red, fairly embarrassed about it all.

“Aww, B, she’s blushing! That’s so adorable, you so like him!” Veronica squeals as she no doubt starts to imagine multiple humiliating ways of setting you two up. And, honestly, you can’t wait to burst the duo’s bubble.

“No, that’s not it I just, uh…don’t really roll that way,” you begin to trail off as you expose your long-held secret (which you thought was pretty obvious but whatever).

“I knew it!” Kevin nearly yells as he throws the magazine that he was previously so enthralled in across the room, “My gaydar is pretty impeccable so I expected as much, but I didn’t want to assume anything or out you.”

You smile gratefully at him, but quickly turn back to the two girls sitting in front of you, since they haven’t reacted at all yet.

This wouldn’t be some kind of friendship deal-breaker, would it? Sure, Kevin was gay, but lesbianism was a whole ‘nother ball game (in fact, no balls were involved at all). Maybe this would be too much for them to handle.

“Y/N!” Betty exclaims as she sits beside you and Veronica follows her lead, sitting on your other side, “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

You let out a breath that you didn’t realize you had been holding in. Slightly scolding yourself for thinking so little of your friends, you think up some reason for withholding such an important part of your identity, “I don’t know I guess I just…wanted to feel things out? Riverdale isn’t the most welcoming place, despite the town motto, so I just wanted to be sure I would have people nearby who will always have my back. And now I know for sure that I do, you guys are the best.”

Both girls wrap you up in a hug as they simultaneously “aww” and Kevin dives from the end of the bed to join the Hallmark moment. Your heart swells as you realize that you’re exactly in the place you belong, until you feel a hand slap your shoulder.

“Next time you have some major secret eating away at you, tell us! We don’t bite, and I know it’s hard to be vulnerable, but sometimes that kind of openness pays off,” Veronica says as she stares at Betty in a way that you are very much familiar with. Her speech comes across a little hypocritical as you witness this, but you keep your mouth shut.

“Well, unfortunately you’re not the first woman who likes women at Riverdale. Cheryl Blossom beat you on that one,” Kevin says nonchalantly as he goes to retrieve his riveting reading material.

Your eyes widen despite yourself and you aren’t fast enough to stop yourself from hopefully emitting, “Really?”

Kevin stops in his tracks and turns around to look at you in shock, while two other pairs of eyes shortly join his. Veronica is the first to get out her surprised reaction.

“Oh my God! I thought I saw you checking her out the other day at practice, but by the time I looked at you again you were tapping away on your phone. You sneaky minx!” She hits your shoulder again, but this time it’s much more playful and you blush in response. You try not to make your ogling so obvious, but sometimes you just can’t help it. She fills out that River Vixen uniform very well.

“Go for it, Y/N! There’s no logical reason why Cheryl would reject you, I mean, you’re smart, you’ve got a smokin’ hot bod, you’re insanely nice,” he stops momentarily as he processes what he just said, cocking his head to the side, “Actually, maybe she won’t like you.”

B and V giggle at this but you proceed to throw a pillow at the sheriff’s son. Naturally, he dodges your shot and smirks at you, knowing that he’s won once again. The spry bastard.

***

When you walk into school on Monday things seem to be going as normally as usual. You wave at a couple of people as you make the trek to your locker and have a short conversation with Juggie about some movie he’s gushing over, before he leaves to go do whatever it is that he does. You’re grateful that you haven’t run into any of your friends that were at the sleepover, until you catch sight of your locker and see B and V standing there, looking like they just murdered your dog.

“Okay Y/N, before we tell you what happened just know that we had nothing to do with it and we don’t know how she found out,” Betty nearly shouts out at an extremely fast pace, so fast you almost miss it. She.

You cross your arms and glare back and forth between them, letting them know that you’re not happy with whatever it is that’s happened. Hopefully it’s not what you expect, but you tend to think of the absolute worst-case scenario.

“Alright, what happened? Who knows?” It’s clear that your little secret is out, you just need to understand if the person who knows will keep your secret.

“Um, Cheryl?” Veronica says meekly, waiting for you to blow up and turn into a nervous wreck. She doesn’t have to wait very long.

“What the hell! Oh my god guys I trust you with one of my biggest secrets ever and you immediately spread it!” They begin to open their mouths in protest but you scowl at them like an angry mother would and they both stop, “And even if it wasn’t either of you that blabbed, there was only one other person at that slumber party and you could’ve stopped him.”

You open your locker, find the textbook you need for first period, and slam it closed. The two girls standing behind you jump and you almost smile, but you’re still upset and witnessing your scared friends isn’t helping anything. You begin to storm off before either girl can say anything to try to calm you down, and after a few seconds you realize that they aren’t trying to stop you.

Good.

***

When you arrive outside of your English class room you let out a few breaths of air, attempting to cool down and look nonchalant before facing the dramatic redhead. You try not to think about how the whole school might know something about you that not even your parents did. You thought of Cheryl highly, but not so much that you expected her to hold onto a piece of gossip like this. It was in her nature to bring chaos everywhere she went (in fact, it was one of the things about her that intrigued you, just not today).

You walk in, bracing yourself for grating stares and awful slurs to be thrown at you, but for everyone else today is just a normal Monday. Those who never noticed you before don’t bat an eyelash now, and those who do like you simply wave like normal. You make the walk to your desk in silent shock, but still have your defenses up. As you sit down and begin putting the necessary materials on your desk, you realize that Cheryl typically doesn’t show up until a few minutes before the bell rings.

You busy yourself by scanning over the required reading for the weekend (which you already read twice but decided to brush up on before having to discuss it) until the Blossom girl walks in. Of course, this takes quite a while as she’s someone who likes to make an entrance. But soon you catch a glimpse of her signature color and your heart starts to beat faster than it ever has.

You make eye contact with her and expect to see disgust but instead find amusement and…happiness? She struts directly up to your desk, which is certainly unusual as you sit directly in the front and she sits all the way in the back. She’s going out of her way to talk to you, which is both terrifying and exciting all at once.

“Um, hey Cheryl I just wanted to explain what you might’ve heard,” You start to tell her but she shushes you shortly after you start to make your speech. And, since you’ve been wrapped around her finger for a while now, you immediately close your lips and become the best listener the world has ever seen.

“So, Keller told me something very interesting a few minutes ago,” She sizes you up and cocks her head to the side, one hand already resting in its natural place on her hip, “Is it true?”

You consider telling her no and that you’re super straight or whatever, but you know that would only push you further into the closet and away from a happy, open life. So, instead of saving your ass and preventing eminent heart ache, you nod your head and prepare for the inevitable onslaught of embarrassment.

Her reaction is something that you never would’ve expected in a million years: she smiles at you.

“Sweet! So, do you wanna come over to my place tonight? We can watch movies and eat popcorn, the whole shebang. I hear you love getting chatty at sleepovers,” She says smugly as she smirks at you, punctuating her statement with an exaggerated wink that makes you laugh and blush simultaneously.

“I can’t be spilling all my secrets on the first date. That would be no fun!” You smirk right on back as your typical confidence returns to you, now assured that your feelings are reciprocated.

“Also,” Cheryl says loudly before she turns to walk to her seat. It’s clear that she wants the whole class to hear this, “If anyone gives you a hard time, send them my way. I’ll give ‘em hell.”

You watch her walk to the back of the class in complete awe. The girl of your dreams likes you back. If it wasn’t for some stupid slumber party and your loud mouth of a friend, this moment wouldn’t be happening. Kevin Keller is gonna rub this in your face for the rest of your life, but as your eyes land on Cheryl once more, you realize that it’ll all be worth it. She’s worth it.

[bangtan-roleplay]

(Hey! I hope you're okay! Please don't feel bad for responding to asks late, it's okay! I hope, if you're not on because of your allergies, you get better soon! Take your time c:) -ᵔᴥᵔ

Anonymous said: No I really don't want to ask this but when are you going to be answering roleplay. I know you have a life outside and Tumblr and may be busy so I'm really sorry for asking this. And I hope you can forgive

Okay, guys, you deserve an explanation as to why I've been mia for a week (???). You're probably going to get a lot more informtion than you want, so if you make it through this whole thing, i applaud you lmao. When I started this account, it was spring break, and I had a lot of time on my hands. I, honestly, did not expect for there to be so many of you guys, and it's fucking incredible that I even got one request, but to have over 20 of you?! AND to have so many of you looking forward to my replies?! It's like a dream tbh! I feel so loved everytime I get on this account, and I'm so greatful to every single one of you! Monday of this week, I went back to school. I live in America which should tell you how stressed I constantly am because the school system is so fucked up here, but what makes that worse is my mental illnesses. I have severe depression and severe anxiety. I was offically dignoised sometime last year, I believe. It could've been the year before. Yeah, I think it was the year before. So two years ago! Sorry, I have a terrible memory >.

[homeschoolbase]

Homeschooling, Just Another Story...Well My Story (WARNING, it's long and graphic)

Homeschooling, Just Another Story...Well My Story (WARNING, it's long and graphic)

I'm not sure were to begin. I guess I'll start by talking about my sister who is older than I by a few years. She was very eager to learn when she started kindergarten, but hated to learn by the end of the year. So because of that and other multiple reasons my parents decided to homeschool. They wanted the best for us I believe but I had very little input on it. When I say very little I mean the only alternative that my parents considered was a near by Christian boarding school that I learned about when I was a Junior in HS. I'm already starting to get ahead of myself though.

My dad had extremely little to do with my education. I remember him trying to teach me to read once. I also remember him trying to teach me biology by sitting me down to read a textbook once, no quizzes mind you or anything else just a textbook and a highlighter and I was going to learn biology. I don't think many people like to learn that way and lets just say that didn't work.

My education basically fell on my mom's shoulders. It was hit and miss with her. Education was important, but not really. Very little time was devoted to her teaching me. When she did teach, it felt like she was talking in circles. Mostly it was her reading to us or lecturing us on something to do with Christianity. I was beyond brained washed.

I was still struggling with learning how to read through the sixth grade. They said everyone learns differently. No I was phonetically dyslexic. I know this because I cracked and ended up having psychologic problems my senior year and I finally got tested for a few things (just a little late!!). By psychological problems I mean I seriously became suicidal due to the fact that I knew I was completely unprepared for life. Oh, and I also had a MAJOR back surgery my senior year of HS were I was greatly reduced in my physical activity for the last few months of HS and I was in terrible pain. Hypothetically if I could go back in time and I had to choose between being homeschooled or having two rods inserted into my back and three ribs removed; I would without doubt have the surgery again! I was throwing up a few days after a major back surgery and everything. It wasn't pretty, but on the bright side your ribs do grow back. I bet you didn't know that. But like a I was saying without doubt I would choose the surgery. Did I mention I was in the hospital for 10 days over Christmas and New Years? No, but just to put this in perspective, I virtually did no school work AT ALL (last semester) and I was still pasted on for graduation as if I had worked on school the entire time!!

Our director of home schooling would pull grades out of her A. I NEVER got tested or took quizzes and should would just say a grade that she thought was appropriate. It was such B* S***!! I would protest and say that isn't right. I would say I'm not learning. I need different everything about my learning situation, but it all fell on deaf ears! I try hard to respect my elders, so it is kind of hard for me to say all of this about my parents and homeschool director. I both greatly love my parents for they are truly some of the most loving people you will ever meet. But I also struggle with a feeling of hate towards them, a feeling that they ruined my life and I'll never get it back. I know I didn't get the best shot in life, but I also know I will never reach my full potential. A feeling that makes me despond of life itself to this day. To this day I struggle with thoughts of suicide, I'm in my 30's by the way. Oh and mentioning this director doesn't really bother me anymore either. This director of homeschool won't even speak to me anymore. The last time I saw her I went up to a table of people I knew. One of them seemed pleased to see me while the others seemed less so and then there was this director who refused to say even a word to me as I greeter her by name. I've heard I'm not the only past alumni to be treated like this by this director either. This director of homeschooling is still active and representing the homeschooling community and leading people astray I'm afraid. Sigh...

I haven't even mentioned how I was forced to work many times when I should have been in school. I first started working on a farm before I was ten. It was legal because I was working for relatives. A few years later my parents owned that farm after my grandfather pasted away. I still miss all my grandparents even though my first grandparent to pass away was when I was only six. Anyhow, the farm demanded A LOT out of my parents and well for that matter, out of all of us. It was fun at first, I got to drive all kinds of things while kids my age never got to that, that I was around. But it soon became just a lot of work and it was dangerous at times too. Work on the farm was regular during the growing season.

There wasn't any consequences for the most part if we didn't complete a task for homeschooling. I remember getting yelled at by my mom on one occasion for not completing a writing assignment. I hated anything to do with English (I still didn't know I was phonetically dyslexic). My mom told me if I was graded I would have a big fat F on my project. Projects were very rare for us mind you and my mother later apologized for yelling.

What was a typically day like? Before my parents got the farm we had typically days and later on eventually we kind of had typical days on the farm as well. Before the farm we would listen to a couple of hours of Christian preaching on the radio and then later on in the day mainly from what I remember was basically trying to "school" ourselves. When I got older I was required to read six chapters out of the Bible EVERY DAY. School was usually us trying to teach ourselves out of books and I had (still kind of have) a hard time comprehending from books and retaining information. This was terrible since we were expected to teach ourselves. The internet was so slow back then and it was almost considered evil in our house because, well, PORN. So getting any kind of help off of the internet was basically off the table.

I remember pleading with my mom not to be homeschooled. I remember one kid who threw a fit from what I remember and got his way. I wasn't like that back then. I remember thinking I have to obey my parents (Christianity and generally good advice) and that they know best. What a Crock!! I remember thinking there wasn't any real hope in my current situation. I would cry myself to sleep on many occasions and by cry I mean sob, like my body would shake uncontrollably because I was so distressed at my situation.

School seemed mainly like it was myself trying to teach myself subjects that I didn't even really know what they were. I would set all kinds of goals for myself because, HEY I wanted to accomplish great things with my life. I would keep getting disappointed. I remember one day vividly making a decision I HATE that I made to this day. I said to myself this isn't working and I basically that I can't make this work (I didn't know were to get help and we lived in the country almost my entire K-12 existence), and I CAN'T change my parents minds....so I said I GIVE UP. I gave up to simply cope with my situation. I said to myself when I get older and I move out I'll be able to find somewhere to learn. A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE mistake, I just couldn't take it any longer.

Why did I post this now after all these years? I don't know I guess I just wanted to hear what other people beside my therapist have to say about how I grew up. I don't generally like talking about it, I guess I feel bad about making my family and myself look bad when I do talk about it.

If you read this far...Thank You! Also, I hope you felt like it was a decent read and not a complete waste of your time. I'm not looking for pity. If you have anything you would like to comment it would be appreciated....Please Be Nice in the comments...it's a sensitive subject for me!

I guess I just needed another outlet to vent, again thanks for reading if you did.

[sola-invinctus]

Vent Post Incoming, I Just, I Really Need To Put This Somewhere

I can’t wait until summer, right now. The thing I’ve been noticing is so great about summer lately is that a big factor in how school sucks so much is that you have good days, bad days, dissociative ones, unfocused or silly ones, focused ones, inspired ones, exhausted ones, or ones where you just feel all plain and bleh, but in school, you have the same schedule everyday that you have to stick to and be productive, focused, and doing well despite the random spontaneity and external factors of life. And something so nice about summer is that you can go with your flow and live as you do rather than having to fit your fluid condition into a solid, structured schedule.

And I’ve just been stressing out so much, right now, because my life is such a mess. My executive dysfunction has caused me to stress out so much over my current school work. My History teacher is great, and he’s so chill and fun, and we all enjoy this, I’m not complaining (except for that one super strict, rules-y, we-need-more-homework, Christian girl, not even kidding), but I’m pretty sure everyone really hopes that next year, he can make us feel more alert, concerned, or less chill about our work and projects, because pretty much all of the juniors and sophomores reached a silent consensus on Thursday to pull an all-nighter to finish his essay.

I’ve been trying to do some Wiccan stuff, and do more in exploring spellwork and herbs, and I feel so good and confident in it recently!! Because I’ve been doing a lot, focusing a bit on it, came up with a design for my altar, and actually doing some spells and have herbs in my mom’s garden. But a little recently, I’ve been wanting to do a certain spell or two, but current, because,,, everything just keeps toppling on top of each other and crashing against it. I can’t sleep. Or it’s too late to take a shower for that spell, they’ll hear me. And I feel bad. Had some herbs days ago. Welp, oops, nah, can’t do it. Like, fuck.

And now I’m doing my biology essay. I’m stressing the fuck out, because this here was a mix of executive dysfunction, and ME NOT GETTING MY SHIT TOGETHER, and fuck, I just wanted to cry a minute ago, and my heart is pounding, because I can’t organize myself. I’ve tried and tried again, put things in my calendar, set up alarms. And in the end, I forget to look at it in the morning when I get up, or when the calendar’s on my door, in front of my face, or it justs goes out the other way. Great days, great moments, and weeks when I actually sorta organize, take care of my folders, and do the right things!!! But then it all goes to shit. Falls apart and fades away.

There’s all these things I want to do, haven’t done, school stuff it’s too late for now, and stuff I need to push back or further off that I wanted to do earlier before so I can do my work, because my schedule's so messed up now and tangled up like yarn. I haven't been doing a lot of my English homework just because I’ve been disassociating. And I don’t even really know if I have ADHD. The psychiatrists have diagnosed me with it, the adderall helps, and it certainly makes sense. I don’t think it’s actually harmful to take the medication or say I am, and it seems fitting. But I’ve taken it as an appearance and see it like a scientist would. 99% sure. And I want to see the psychiatrists and therapists, or medical professionals of any kind about dissociative disorder, but I want to do it lowkey. I hate attention or saying something that might be of interest, so I don’t like the idea of mentioning it to my parents, just because I’m the sort of person who hates carrying a big bag with a Christmas gift to school because it’s big, and I wish I could lowkey get an appointment. Maybe with someone at school??? And like, I once mentioned it to my mom, in a small way, and she brushed it off. My dad is so frustrated that the government people at my school still haven’t done the testing they said they would to learn more about me.

And now, with all my missing English homework, my grade isn’t bad, but I’ve now ignored the past-due assignment he gave some people for being able to redeem their first semester so they could pass (instead of summer school), so there’s no way of not getting summer school now.

And I really need to work on this biology essay and do it. Biology is fine for me, and it’s great, and all that shit, because I’m an amazing scientist at heart, but this is so much work and time, and I really need some help coming up with ideas, because this is a pretty complicated prompt I’m proud of coming up with, but the experiment??? And hypothesis?? And yet, my science friend is stressing and depressed right now, and I can’t ask the one science friend that can help me with this thing so much for help.

And I’m really just waiting for the summer to sit, back, relax, and enjoy life, because it feels like I’m watching this entire thing fall apart and burn or coming to it,  and I’m just gonna’ have summer school for a few classes or fail one, and it’s all gonna be a mess or catastrophe, and summer, I’ll know about it, but I’ll want to relax and let my life be in the meantime, because I just can’t. I can’t.