#very relevant i know lmao this is for me and my friends

[creatingblackcharacters]

hi!! sorry if this is a rude comment, and i know this isn’t exactly relevant to your blog, but i noticed at one point when you were talking about the black/Black thing (i read up on it because of this blog, and found it very interesting) you mentioned something about people with disabilities.

in the post, you mentioned a friend with a disability who prefers that label, and the way you phrased it makes it sound like it’s the label all people in the disabled community prefer, which isn’t quite true.

i’m not sure how much you know about the subject, but there are 2 main ways to refer to disability: person-first language (pfl) and identity-first language (ifl)

i could give you my messy little explanation, but emily ladau’s book ‘demystifying disability’ —incredible book btw, highly recommend— says it better than i could.

Person-first language (PFL) does just what it says: it puts the word “person” first, before any reference to disability is made. This type of language is all about acknowledging that human beings who have disabilities are, in fact, people first, and they’re seen not just for their disability. So when using PFL, you might say “person with a disability” or “person who has Down syndrome” or “people who use wheelchairs.” The logic here is that disability is something a person has, rather than who they are, so by separating any mention of disability from the person and putting it second, you’re showing that you respect the personhood of someone with a disability.

Identity-first language (IFL) is all about acknowledging disability as part of what makes a person who they are. So when using IFL you might say “disabled person” or “blind person” or “Autistic people.” In this case, disability isn’t just a description or diagnosis; it’s an identity that connects people to a community, a culture, and a history.

she uses ifl for herself, and expands on the reason a bit more in her book —which is still very good lmao— but this ask is already longer than i intended it to be, and still painfully off-topic (i wasn’t going to say anything but i kept thinking about it sorryyyyyy) so i’ll shut up now, sorry about that!

Hi, I must admit, I don't know what post you're specifically speaking about so that I can understand what you're talking about and apply this knowledge. Can you link me the post?

[pickersonpaints]

the dinosaur!

[mostlykind]

my manager is a snake lmao she fully listened to me and my coworker complain about this awful colleague, pretended to care and sympathise, only to then give her more authority over us when we’ve repeatedly said she’s patronising, undermining and unbelievably rude :)

[carolinanadeau]

warning, deeply deranged vent post incoming, do not take this as a statement of morality or anything like that

hate it when someone writes some kind of extremely tragic fic and they get a ton of comments being like "omg you made me cry 😭😭" STOP ENCOURAGING THEM??

I'm NOT advocating attacking such fics or leaving mean comments, obviously not advocating for censorship, I just think people should ignore them! unless all these people genuinely like these fics and are not reading them out of a misplaced sense of obligation but I just find this so hard to believe. if you make the mistake of reading it (BEEN THERE) just go "fuck that" and hit the back button and do not comment! I don't give a shit if it's "beautifully written" and "poignant", you do not under any circumstances have to hand it to someone who made you upset

[ghosty-schnibibit]

love that earlier i checked when the owl house finale would be out and went "what do you mean 10:30 pm pst is 1:30 am the next day est??? eh i don't want to stay up late, i'll just watch tomorrow" and then accidentally stayed up til nearly one decorating easter eggs

[shikai-the-storyteller]

People talk a lot about how Fit didn't want a kid when the Egg event happened, but I'm watching his Egg Event Day stream for the first time and picking up a few interesting things that both confirm and contradict what a lot of people say about Fit's perspective of the Egg event, So here are some notes from his VOD:

Fit immediately went over to Ramon when he saw him and cooed at his cute little mustache.

Fit repeatedly said to himself "I'm not a dad I'm not a dad I'm not a dad" while the informational videos were playing. HOWEVER--

When Ramon flashes the "Egg" sign repeatedly to them, Fit says he has eggs at his base and tells Ramon to wait with Spreen. Ramon chases after him, and Fit insists that he stays with Spreen, saying: "I will be right back, Ramon. Don't worry, I will return. I promise." ~ 1h 17m

Moments later when he's on his own, Fit says "Spreen better keep that Egg alive. I'm not emotionally attached to the Egg with the mustache, ok? I'm not emotionally attached." (Mirroring the things he often says these days about not having separation anxiety. Which is a lie). ~1h 18m

Fit says even though Ramon has a mustache, he doesn't know if Ramon is a boy, girl, or enby. (This isn't really relevant lore-wise, but I thought that was sweet). ~1h 20m

Foolish and Vegetta introduce Leonarda to Ramon, and Vegetta says "Look look, it's a friend, it's a friend! 😊" and then two seconds later says "Now fight to the death! 😊" ~1h 25m

(The QSMP admins also make a whoopsies here and call Fit "Feet" in chat LMAO)

Despite joking that he's going to build Ramon a dog house near his place, when Spreen asks if they should build a simple house or something nicer for Ramon, Fit says, "Well he is our kid, so he deserves only the best, right? Maybe we should make a big mansion." ~1h 31m

Ramon makes a beeline to Fit's starter house (which the admins poked fun at) and excitedly jumps on the bed

Spreen accidentally hits Ramon (again) and Ramon runs off, and Spreen apologizes while he and Fit chase him down. Fit says "He didn't mean to do that, he loves you very much!" ~1h 36m

Fit gifts Ramon a seashell. ~1h 42m

Fit jokes that there's no doubt he's the father because Ramon looks just like him -- bald as an egg

They put Ramon to bed, but Spreen and Fit introduce Roier, Jaiden, and Bobby to Ramon while he's asleep. ~2h 10m

Spreen says he left food for Ramon in case he gets hungry at night. They get worried about Ramon because he's been sleeping for a long time and check to make sure he's still breathing. ~ 2h 14m

Spreen says they'll be a really good team, and Fit says, "We will be very good parents together, I can feel it." (oof) ~ 2h 15m

Fit and Spreen say goodbye to each other, and Fit says "Being a father is not easy, that's why I've put off fatherhood for so long, I don't know if I'm ready." He says it doesn't seem so bad, but Ramon's sleeping a lot and he's kinda lazy, so he doesn't know how he feels about this child, but "We'll make it work." Right after he says this, he suddenly finds Ramon climbing up the hill towards him, and they go fishing together. ~2h 16m

Fit calls Ramon "Mi huevito." ~2h 19m

"I dunno how I got roped into this fatherhood thing" he says while waiting for Ramon to finish using the bathroom. Then he teaches Ramon how to cook the fish they caught (classic Dad behavior) ~2h 21m

Spreen tells Fit he's going out and to take care of Ramon. Fit teases him and says it's a shared responsibility, and Spreen says he has to go to work. ~2h 26m

IMAGES THAT AGED VERY VERY BADLY

The subtitles don't show it, but Spreen is saying "Don't worry, Ramon. You'll see me tomorrow." Fit says he'll teach Ramon how to grow crops, and Spreen says, "That's right Ramon, I want to hear all about how to grow crops when I get back."

Fit tells Ramon "You are my huevito" and sings him a lullaby. 2h 30m

"Spreen going out for cigarettes my ass! I'm not gonna see him for months now. See - someone's gotta step up and be a parent, and be there, and take the responsibility! That's me. That's me. It's weird though, I mean, I'm not used to this whole "fatherhood" thing, keeping a living thing alive. It's weird." ~ 2h 31m

Fit says he thinks he and Spreen will be a good parenting pair if Spreen comes back. But he's glad the child is doing well right now. ~ 2h 36m

Not related to Fit and Ramon, but these are some other funny moments:

Fit gets kicked for "flying" (he was jumping off a tall tower, but manages to clutch it) ~ 2h 43m

Fit meets JuanaFlippa! ~3h 12m

Slimecicle gives JuanaFlippa a landmine. ~ 3h 21m

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking a cross-country trip without telling my parents?

🔜🚇 for ID purposes, my friends will get it lmao

This is being submitted after the trip was taken, so it's in retrospect. I can live with being an asshole if I'm labeled one, I just had a lot of conflicting feelings preceding said trip, even if by now I don't regret it because it was fun. At this point I'm just curious!

I am 26yo and AFAB nonbinary. This is relevant.

During the first week of the year, I took a trip across the USA to go to a convention to meet up with some internet friends I am close to; some id met before, but most were mutuals/people I video chat with regularly.

My parents are extremely catholic. They're very suspicious about online friends in general (so much so I stopped talking to them about going online when I was in high school), and are very transphobic so I'm not out to them. Since I'm AFAB, they're very "oh be careful out there and NEVER do anything alone because it's DANGEROUS." Which feels like a load of crap to me; I'm taking a vacation, not going for a jaunt down a dark alley. My mother in particular is also very into conformity, so I've never told her about my con-going, fandom loving ways.

So I planned and went on this trip, entirely in secret, and lied the entire time I was there. And I had a genuinely great time, no regrets, and not once did I feel unsafe. I told my housemate (almost 26) my flight details and whereabouts so I had backup if needed, and figured that was fine on the safety front. Also I am financially independent, so none of their money was used.

The conflict: obvious I lied a lot. I know my parents would disapprove and would be so mad if they knew. A few of their ideas just center around me being safe, so I felt kinda bad, you know?

A lot of folks will see my age and say I can do what I want, but being brought up by overprotective Christians will indeed make realizing if you're being reasonable or not a whole lot harder! I'm also working on figuring out how to proceed in the future; I still talk to them bc of my elderly pets and extended family. It's complex to navigate. I wanna throw this one to tumblr to decide, I think it would be good to get some random perspective in here. I'll be replying to questions in the comments off anon once/if it's posted :)

So tumblr AITA for taking a secret trip that my parents would've disapproved of top-to-bottom and straight up lying about it?

What are these acronyms?

[amarayys]

DRDT CHP 2 EPISODE 12 SPOILERS!!

OKAY so according to a tweet from DRDTdev apparantly the whole fandom misinterpreted David's words and he actually doesn't remember Xander from before?? which like...it's kind of funny lmao. this means that David is just trying to kill everyone for a person he heard of online and then was friends with for like. a few days. which is really funny to me. .... .... ..... BUT YOU KNOW WHO DOES REMEMBER SOMETHING??????? teruko (I love you teruko but you're so stupidly suspicious). maybe she isn't aware of it, maybe she is, but THIS LINE.

Which, weird enough. But then VERONIKA says

Okay, even weirder. before we begin: 1. i suck at theories. 2. i suck at formatting, too. 3. this was made at like 1 am. so dont count on some points here being particulary sane. 4. Points that are started with "-" are just extra inputs that aren't too relevant, but I thought i should bring up anyway. So. Veronika, of all people, doesn't know about a killing game that happened in the past. You could argue: "But Amari, what if the killing game was covered up/erased from history?" Hm.. maybe, but this has some holes. A past killing game is a weird thing to *not* know about. If Teruko's talking about THH, that was broadcasted (worldwide, I think... but I can't remember. Even if it was only brodcasted in Japan, you'd think the news would spread, especially with the internet.) , you'd think most people, ESPECIALLY Veronika would know about it. We know from Min's bonus episode that students were taught about the tragedy, and someone like Veronika definitely wouldn't forget about a killing game that happened during it easily. If it was another killing game not related to the main dr games (ill explain this more later, I swear) , I'd still imagine people would know about it. I'm going to take a complete guess here and say it's not too unlikely that if a past killing game happened, it was broadcast similar to our current one. Same argument as before, people would know about it. If it wasn't broadcast, I still don't think it would be very easy to cover up a killing game. Remember - Veronika is the Ultimate Horror Fanatic. She is quite literally *THE BEST* at researching and knowing about this stuff. If Veronika doesn't know about it, Teruko, who kind of lives under a rock, (me too , me too.) being the only one as far as we know to remember it is WEIRD. Also, before someone says "what about memory erasure?" that answers Veronika, but why does Teruko know about it? - However, if it was covered up, I think it's quite likely the company who Min mentions in her bonus episode has something to do with it. Why? Cause introducing too many companies and sht would be confusing. Not very strudy arguement, I know, but I have a feeling the company is more connected to this than we think. Teruko knows about a past killing game. Which killing game is Teruko referencing? Is she referencing THH, or something completely separate? Like... a past killing game she was in? Okay, I'm reaching, but hear me out, okay? It's sort of maybe kind of implied that Teruko was in a past killing game.

This line is said by the guy at the start of the prologue (WHICH IM LIKE 90% SURE IS XANDER BUT THAT'S UNRELATED TO THIS.) , after they claim they have to end a killing game. Why do we need to kill sweet, amazing, perfect Teruko? Well, here are some ideas. 1. Teruko is responsible for the past killing game, or is at least the reason it's happening. Not necessarily the mastermind of it, more similar to the theory where the killing game was made to contain Teruko's bad luck (context because yeah). Not necessarily her fault, but she is the reason for it. I'd like to point out that this matches up scarily well with what basically the whole fandom agrees is Teruko's secret.

(How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault.) ...oh my. What if the killing game referred to in the secret isn't the current one? To be fair, all the above does match up with if this secret was referring to the current killing game, but I still think it's viable. 2. Teruko did something to someone and that someone wants revenge. What is "something"? Well, it could be again that the killing game is her fault, but probably not. "someone" could be PROLOUGE GUY AGAIN. I have this really weird theory that Teruko is the one who attacked prolouge guy with the fork (aka xander check out this post for clarification) - Technically, David could also be the one wanting revenge, as he also tried to kill Teruko (indirectly, through failing the trial) , but then Xander stabbing Teruko makes no sense. Xander writes future himself a note (the one saying "Kill Teruko Tawaki, again, whole other theory i can talk more on if you want) explaining the attack, and telling him to kill Teruko, as he thinks she is the mastermind or just an unsafe person (which, fair??) - And if we really want to start reaching, Xander is the mastermind and made the killing game in an attempt to kill Teruko. But like... is the killing game necessary? Why not just kill her regularly? Her luck preventing her death, maybe? This entire point is based on theories, though. So probably not lmao. I want to say point 2 but I think realistically I've gotta go with point 1. There's actually some evidence supporting it, unlike point 2. For Veronika's memory, the memory erasure does actually work here. MonoTV probably wanted interesting shit to happen, or it couldn't erase that part of Teruko's memory without her noticing a large gap in her memories and getting suspiscious. Now, let me get some stuff cleared up. I don't think Teruko remembers actually being in a killing game before present time, just that there was one. She brushes her memory off as just not paying attention in history when Veronika denies a killing game happening before this one (though she does hesitate when Veronika points this out - which is VERY weird) so she probably has *some* fuzzy memories regarding the past killing game.

- If my theory of her attacking prologue guy is correct, I don't think she remembers doing it. As i've mentioned way too many times, I think prologue guy is Xander, and she didn't seem wary whatsoever when she first met Xander, which you think she would be if she knew him, let alone attacked him. SUMMARY: 1. Teruko and Xander were in a past killing game together. At some point, Teruko attacks Xander's eye, although we aren't sure why. Xander realises that she's to blame for the killing game, and writes a note to himself, telling him to get rid of Teruko, and then he passes out. 2. Teruko and Xander meet in our current killing game. Teruko doesn't recognise Xander (or she at least doesn't have time to dwell on the faint memories she does have on him before he passes out), and stays around him for a lot of the killing game. Xander's memory was probably erased, but I'm not sure whether he had the note yet or not. 3. Xander goes stabbity stab stab on Teruko, due to the note. he panics, questioning why he made himself stab her. Teruko might have gotten a flash of memories (you know, the saying my life flashed before my eyes when something life threatening happens??), causing her to tell Xander that his plan wont work because she cant die. 4. (this point is straight flavour text) After Teruko wakes up, she might've remembered a bit more about the killing game, although still not the whole story. (playing into why she was so much more distrustful) Maybe she remembered knowing Xander at some point? Nothing too important regarding Teruko's memory happens after this. this summary really sucks, please dont take this too seriously. just some points to keep in mind.

Anddd yeah. That's it. This has so many holes but it's 1 am, I'm tired and cant be bothered to fix them lmao. Just thought I should give my input. I might edit over this tomorrow, who knows.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 8 thoughts

i’m conflicted. i didn’t like this episode, and i don’t know if my reasoning is valid or not. but i guess at the end of the day it’s all subjective, right? it’s MY BLOG and i decide which episodes are good vs bad in the juni-verse.

(do not be offended if this is your favorite episode and i am slandering it. it’s not personal, pinky promise, but i explain my reasoning at the end, so let’s jump in)

((also i hear geese right now. not relevant but highkey distracting))

oooo today’s episode title looks french… i thought at first that it would mean (feminine) someone who forgets something, but it actually means “a type of dungeon with a single escape route”. the more you know!

i’m excited to watch this episode. it sounds interesting. it also sounds like it could be really really dark. so let’s see! (verdict: DARK!)

we open on high school picture day. a girl named amy is getting her pictures taken. these girls are in very cute outfits. a guy from the photography company is staring at amy though… OH! and stroking her picture in a darkroom. HELLO??? jail jail jail. 

(we later learn his name is carl. he will be referred to as “the creepy man” and “carl” alternatively throughout this post)

he cut out her picture and put it next to a picture of himself??? is he making a collage? GROWN MAN! GROWN MAN DOING ALL THIS BTW!!! in what looks like a trapdoor darkroom beneath his house. is this the aforementioned oubliette….?

amy is sleeping and. SOMEONE IS COMING IN HER WINDOW. NO MA’AM. it’s carl, who says that “nobody is going to spoil us”. a little girl sees this happen!!!! noooo… but maybe she can give a clue?? i mean a witness to a kidnapping seems like it’ll help solve the case, right?

now we are at a burger place, someone is taking a while to fill up some drinks- her name tag says “lucy”. and then there is BLOOD all over her from her nose. the boss looks majorly freaked. and she FAINTS! mumbling that nobody is going to spoil us. OH… so lucy and the girl must have some sort of connection. boy, that seems it'd be disruptive to the work day…

bum bum bum bum!!!! spooky noises. spooky imagery. you know it, you love it: the intro.

mulder and a very large coat are here to investigate the kidnapping. he is looking about at various rooms and walls. 

noooo, he is in a child’s bedroom :( and he finds a very sad mrs. jacobs looking out the window. he says they will do everything they can to help but she is like “how could you really know how i feel?"

well actually he is quite well versed in kidnappings!!! so please be mindful of your words. she walks away and he looks very sad. way to dig some stuff up for the guy. she didn’t mean it, i know, but still, it was a very purposeful dialogue choice.

(mulder is staring intently at dark red spots on the carpet) “it’s blood”, says a guy we have never seen before. excellent work detective. could have had me fooled. i was thinking it was jam /s

this guy thinks it was someone that knew her, mulder does not think this is the case because it was so bold. fight fight fight!

oh, he actually came on this case to talk to lucy from the burger place!!! and not for the kidnapping. we should have known that was far too conventional for our friend.

(door opens) (deep sigh) (scully’s voice from off screen) "mulder…" <- yeah this had me giggling. not even really sure why. they are reunited after a flight apart. it must have been harrowing. 

so, he explains: the girl, amy, is 15 years old, and was kidnapped. and twenty miles across town, lucy was repeating the same words the kidnapper said as she passed out! “well that’s spooky”, scully notes, and mulder replies “that’s my name, isn’t it?” <- LMAO

OH GET THIS: Lucy was kidnapped when she was 8 for FIVE YEARS!!!! until she was found by the side of the road. HUH??? THE PLOT IS THICKENING. same guy…? scully seems very deep in thought

first thing lucy says upon their entrance: “i’d like a cigarette” in the hospital. queen i think there are laws against this but idk 💔 

they explain that amy said those same words about spoiling it for us at the same time she did, and lucy has a thoughtful look on her face then says no, i know nothing about it. NOT BUYING IT!

paused on scully’s face to take notes and she really is just so beautiful huh. 

lucy asks when she can leave and they say um probs when the doctor says you can. and she’s like, no they said it was up to you. so they’re like uh yeah you can go. this is very exciting and she doesn’t even change before she leaves. 

CREEPY MAN ALERT. he’s on the side of the road with a busted tire and a tow guy offers to change it for him for $10. a screaming deal! until this fellow picks up a crowbar looking thing and screams LEAVE ME ALONE and chases him away!!! deeply suspicious behaviors. tow guy calls him a freak as he drives away. a very rare deserved case of calling someone a freak as you drive by them.

back at the station, the lead agent or whatever his title is tells mulder that lucy and her boyfriend have a criminal record, but mulder doesn’t think she’s involved. i’d have to agree, but maybe i’m easily fooled. 

“mulder, i got something- something weird” scully strides in the room and announces. and i’m thinking, YEAHHHH BABY, WE LOVE THAT AROUND THESE PARTS!!!

so, here is the weird stuff: lucy had two types of blood on her shirt that night… so scully is gonna test and see if there was a match to amy’s. but mulder doesn’t want lucy treated as a suspect, so he says to try and keep that quiet.

now we’re at a halfway house. a guy is going up some stairs whilst lucy shivers in bed. she has scratches all over her face and complains about being unable to see. and it looks like she has the same scratches as the girl in the creepy guy carl’s hole!!!

mulder rolling up to the halfway house. he asks to take lucy to dinner, as the paramedics say she is probably better now after her episode. 

she is going to town on some soup and insisting that she is clean, and you can even ask henry about this. she is very insistent that she CANNOT help amy, but he is trying to gently be like. well... maybe you CAN. and she says: NO.

back in the hole, amy is having pictures taken of her. and screaming

at the station. mulder is watching a video of lucy from 1978 where she is crying on the ground and also screaming. her eyes were hypersensitive to the light when she finally escaped from her kidnapping all those years ago. it’s honestly very upsetting to watch.

oh!! scully has a break in the case: all the school photos were sent out EXCEPT amy’s. and the assistant was fired THAT DAY AFTER THE SHOOT. his name is CARL. and he spent the last 15 years institutionalized “for a bipolar condition”. well would that make him not a suspect for whoever took lucy…? i can’t do math. but if she got back in ‘78 then it would be possible, right? because idk when s3 takes place. anyway, mulder’s gonna show the photo to lucy and see if she knows him.

(i groan when a story makes a villain bipolar or have any other mental health issue to enhance their ~scariness~. it’s cliche, it’s perpetuating harmful stereotypes, and it’s bad writing. i was mentally throwing tomatoes at the screen)

carl is leaving and he left amy in the basement. is this her chance to break free? or is it a trick. she finds a hole in the wall sealed with some wood and starts to rip it up 

back to lucy cam. mulder is trying to get her to stop running away and he grabs her shoulder and she says “DON’T TOUCH ME. i don’t like to be touched” this is understandable and he apologizes.

anyway, he shows her carl’s photo, and she starts to run away again, indicating that she does, in fact, know who it is.

back to amy cam. she’s trying to break free, but he is coming back in his car! he hears her trying to get out and sees her running out the window. she is running!!! into the woods!!! run run run run!!!

lucy is also running. 

but no!!! they both fall!!! mulder picks lucy up. nooooo, amy failed her escape attempt :(

but upon seeing the photo, lucy confirms that it IS the same guy that took her way back when. she says she feels like she’s going through it all over again. 

however, scully and the cops are at the door! lucy is suspicious. reveal: THE BLOOD ON THE UNIFORM WAS AMY’S!!! mulder is saying she didn’t do it, but scully says it’s concrete evidence. unless you believe in the migration of blood. 

carl is explaining to amy that she shouldn’t have run. she asks for some water. is she gonna make another break for it? no. she does not. but she does ask for her mom and also for her to please not die here. it’s very sad.

mulder throws out a theory: maybe lucy bled out amy’s blood. it’s a stretch. “i hate to say this mulder, but i think you just ran out of credibility” <- girl i think that was a while ago.

i jest, but it appears scully does not. yowch. okay, yeah, bleeding someone else’s blood is a little rough in terms of an idea, but some thoughts we try and keep inside our heads in terms of our pals having wild theories.

OHHHH... scully insinuating that he is seeing his sister in lucy, and that is why he cannot see her as the perpetrator when all the evidence points to it…. oh i felt chills... or some sort of adjacent negative experience. bad feelings washed upon me.

he says that not every single thing he does or says is traced back to his sister but… i’m actually not gonna agree with him on that one. anyway, he’s mad at her. and i would be too tbh!

someone is coming in to the station who saw carl. it’s the tow guy!! and he was spotted heading near the place lucy was found years ago!!! 

carl witnesses the cops racing off to his place. but the agents go to the photo store to see if he has an account. not a bad idea on behalf of mulder.

although, we don’t even know if they go in because next they are ambushing carl’s property. and they see the trap door!!! is she in there??? and she is!!!

WAIT NO. IT’S LUCY?? everyone is confused. 

okay, so they DID go to the photo store, because they have the photos of amy that were taken in the basement… i see now. i am listening and learning.

the cop guy wants to take lucy into custody because she can’t say why she is at the crime scene, but mulder is like “no i’ll take her” and scully tells the cop dude it’s alright. so now she must see what he was saying. he’s walking lucy out. and she’s saying that carl hasn’t touched amy, and then she starts shivering and coughing, saying she is cold and wet. and mulder’s touching her….

he says lucy is trying to tell them amy’s in a river, so they try to go there. and then when carl dunks amy underwater, lucy starts spitting up water!!! and then drowning in the car on land. 

agents are running in the woods.

they find carl, and mulder shoots him. then he runs off holding amy. so he starts doing mouth to mouth and she’s doing chest compressions and lucy is coming back to life?? maybe?? no.

scully is trying to tell him to stop because she’s dead, but he won’t, and they actually come to blows about it. he’s sitting there all soggy and wet and crying. but then she finally starts coughing!!! 

mulder learns that lucy was also dying, and he gets all freaked out and runs back to her. and lucy is, in fact, dead. he’s touching her face as water pours out of her and she’s crying. mulder is full on kneeling at her dead body and sobbing. and damn, if this moment didn't get me right in the chest.

scully shows up to the halfway house, where mulder is sitting on lucy’s bed with a bunch of pictures of her. scully says amy had NO INJURIES and she can’t explain it, but nobody wants to talk about it because everyone is relieved to have her back. and it turns out lucy drowned. despite being on land.

“mulder, whatever there was between them, you were part of that connection, did you think about that?” <- AUGH (girl who is in pain as scully tries to put into words how important he is to not just her, but the whole world)

but he says that dying was pretty much all amy could do to escape from her past. and i'm thinking, well, if this whole episode has been a way to comment on your past... what exactly are you saying? because i'm hearing things i don't like. what about the power of healing and friendship? have we tried this?

i’m not sure how i feel about this episode, so i want to hear your thoughts even more than usual. actually, i am pretty sure that i didn't like it. i love a good character-centric episode, and this was definitely a mulder episode, but i felt that scully was really sidelined. like REALLY sidelined. to the extent she felt almost mean, with the losing credibility comment and trying to get him to stop doing CPR and bringing his sister up into it. on the other hand, though, she did seem to accurately describe the situation as himself projecting his past onto these people. it was pretty clear that was the case no matter how much denial he had going on.

luckily, in long form content like this, when something is written that feels out of character, i have an ease of just ignoring it i feel is usually denied in tighter season or movies. like yeah, everyone has an episode or two where their favorite character acts weird as hell. i could already point to a couple episodes on mulder’s behalf- cough cough genderbender cough cough 3- so maybe this will even out the tally of agents doing stuff that feels wrong. and like those episodes, i can ignore them. i am the rememberer and when i need to i am also the forgetter.

(now, you may present an argument to me that these actions WERE in character for scully. and i will not deny you the chance to present that argument my way. i shall hear out cases with a fair and impartial nature. but my opinions have been voiced)

characterization aside. this was another dark episode with almost no lightheartedness. there were a few things i giggled early on, like the way she just announced his name when they’re reunited, but other than that… childhood kidnapping? a real bummer. also, their psychic connection wasn’t even explained. it didn’t seem to follow any sort of logic at all. she would just… snap into it sometimes and then out of it. but you couldn’t really tell why she’d snap into it beyond it seemed moments where amy was in danger. but like. when you’re kidnapped you’re basically in danger 24/7. so: ??? 

and the transmutation of physical injury. they said that amy had no injuries, but we could see she had the same face cuts and scrapes as lucy. so are they ignoring that or are we thinking that lucy dying absorbed all that damage…?

mulder also ends the episode saying that he thinks death was the only way lucy could escape her suffering, which has troubling implications for his own character and those who love him.

hmm. idk, i just don’t think i liked this one. i’m learning that i find children being hurt less campy and fun than aliens and bigfoot. a good scary episode can be that, both good and scary, but i didn’t feel scared because it still was fantastic in nature. when there was a real scary episode- i’m thinking of irresistible in s2- the reason that felt so scary was because it WAS an entirely human, no supernatural elements at all, spooky episode. and that was the whole point; that episode was used to explore scully’s greatest fears, her struggle with being unable to control every aspect of life, trying to grasp who she can and cannot trust, and the depths to which the human soul can descend. so we had something similar going on here, except that lucy was taking amy’s damage, and you can see how that sort of transmigration makes for a harder sell on the commentary of the evil things humans can accomplish, no?

hmm. again, please let me know. i actually might look this one up, because ever since i learned that there are wikipedia episodes for every single episode, i have mostly neglected that fact to avoid audience ratings sullying my own hot takes on the subject. but this one has me curious. 

[soleilnmity]

MEDIA - ラジオCD「20th ANNIVERSARY ペルソナラジオ」 [JP/ENG]

Title: Persona 20th Anniversary "Persona Radio" Download Link

The Persona 20th Anniversary Radio was a weekly broadcast featuring various voice actors from the Persona series, and it then got released in CD format for the 20th anniversary!

I was always curious about Koyasu's thoughts regarding P2 and his inclusion on this CD because it was the first time he was called out for something anniversary-related, so I comissioned a translation of his radio appearance!

The translation has been done by the wonderful @currytantou so all kudos to her! The video is long and heavy so tumblr doesn't let me attach it directly uhsdfkj

Some things of note:

Koyasu likes Trinity Soul (likely because he voiced Kanzato Ryo www) and wishes others gave it a chance, not to erase it's existence.

Koyasu is a huge Megaten fan and he started with Mainline and Devil Survivor. He was also in other (old?) Atlus streams as well.

Koyasu has also played Megami Ibunroku Persona, and his favorite character there is Nanjo. He wanted to voice him.

Tatsuya's voice was always meant to be deep. Koyasu was told several times to actually deepen his voice when recording for Tatsuya.

Koyasu's favorite option for Tatsuya is Lisa. He immediately replies "Ginko" without a doubt lmao.

He loves Tatsuya very much, and complains about Atlus "removing him when they're coming up with something". He wishes he was more relevant and that he could voice him again.

Additionally, here's congratulatory messages of all members that are featured on the CD

Koyasu Takehito:

Nova Cytheeeerrrr!! Persona 2 Innocent Sin/Eternal Punishment is a work that'll be forever in my heart, so I was very happy to have been able to participate this way. I'd love to do it again (lol) That's all!

Akira Ishida:

Thank you for listening to the 20th Anniversary Persona Radio. I can only express my gratitude to all of you who have run alongside me in this 10-year marathon of “Persona 3"

I'm confident that this is content I can present to the new fans who will support us for the next 10 years. I hope you will continue to support the Persona series"

Hikaru Midorikawa:

I'm glad to have been able to participate as a guest this time. I wonder if this will be my last work related to "Persona 3"? But I had a lot of fun talking to Ishida-san♥

Namikawa Daisuke

It's been a while since we last spoke, but once we started talking, it didn't take long for us to get back to the atmosphere of that time. It was a fun time! I hope I was able to deliver it in style…

Kanda Akemi

It was fun!! It's been a while since I've had the "Persona" feeling, and I really loved it. Thank you!!

Kappei Yamaguchi

It didn't feel that it's been that long! The cast of "Persona 4" are all good friends, so I would be happy if we could do something for the 20th again♪

Fukuyama Jun

This is Jun Fukuyama, playing as P5's protagonist! I was supposed to tell you about the charms of P5, but I ended up focusing on the fun stories of each character, but that's alright!!

Aoi Yuuki

Eh!? No way Fukuyama-san is a cheater…! Eh!? To think Fukuyama-san could do something like that…! Eh!? Fukuyama-san…! It was a lot of fun to hear this side of him…(lol) Of course, we're talking about P5☆

Unfortunately, not *all* of the CD is translated (I would die x_x, these interviews are so fast paced and like 40 mins each!!!). If you want to know the 345 side of the interviews, you can trust curry for a translation~

But to compensate, this has nothing to do with the 20th anniversary, but I also comissioned an additional message that appeared in the somewhat recent 25th anniversary as well! This is one of the first instances of Maya's VA, Akiko Yajima, to have been invited to an anniversary-related event too!

I'm mostly a p2 blog so I wanted to take the opportunity to post this during Tatsuya's birthday as well. So please enjoy!

[chaoticsoulsword]

[bg3 heavy spoilers]

Of all the gaslight/gatekeep/girlboss characters in this franchise, the very one that irritates me the most is The Emperor/Balduran. Not because he manipulates you (everyone kinda does in this game, whatever), but because of the way he does it.

He needs the player to trust him? Okay, I could forgive him for appearing in my dreams as my idealistic knight in shining armor (as he puts it himself!!), but he KNEW what he was doing when he chose to wear the greek tunic. HE KNEW!

He was really trying to seduce the player and use it in his favor to manipulate them more easily. He keeps pressuring the player to use the tadpoles and become stronger in order to defeat the Absolute, but he legit keeps the most important part: he wants YOU to become a mind flayer, a fact he only reveals waaaay later. Consent anyone?

And then? He keeps pushing the mind flayer agenda into you, and only reveals stuff about his past when the player finds out. When confronted about keeping you in the dark, he simply says "it's not relevant to our alliance". IDK, man, you killed your best friend who also turned out to be a dragon and the most important defender of Baldur's Gate. Maybe you should have told me that before going through all the trials??? So I wouldn't waste precious time?? Plus I wouldn't have to fight a very angry dragon because of YOUR mistakes?????

At some point, he even flirts with you, and since mind flayers are incapable of having feelings, what was he trying to accomplish if not emotionally manipulating the player even further?

Oh, but it doesn't stop there. He legit keeps Orpheus in the astral plane and gets angry if you suggest to do things differently, even when the very githyanki are fighting nail and tooth to free him despite all their Vlaakith drama.

But the last drop? The last drop??? It's when he tells ME that the fault of failing to defeat the Elderbrain is MINE because I'm WEAK lmao. And then, when the player finally decides to follow their instincts and free Orpheus, he gets SO BITTER that he will get IN YOUR WAY when you're just SO CLOSE to the Netherbrain, even when Orpheus is right at my side, proving him wrong.

The fact is he's just a patronizing, arrogant sob who can't admit he's wrong. And it pisses me off so much the way he needs to be the chosen one because "oh, I'm so special and evolved yaddayaddayadda".

You know which mind flayer I met and trusted him day 1? Omeluum. Omeluum is cool af and never lied to me. He apologized for making my tadpole stronger. He tells the player to leave him to die during the prison break (and I went through all the trouble to save him anyways because I do like him a lot). Omeluum is kind and humble. The Emperor could NEVER and I never felt more pleased when I killed him in the final act.

Rest in Raphael's arms, beatch. Won't be missed 0/10

[twunkbirthzey]

snokoplasm ramble

(i had this part in my amazingphil marathon document and this is the most basic thing that everyone probably thought about but i wanted to share bc why not)

Ever since the first time I watched this years ago I could not stop thinking about snokoplasm. First of all, it’s just so creative and whimsical and beautiful and PEAK arthouse amazingphil. But also I cannot help but do a queer reading of it. (I think Phil has so much indirect commentary about societal gender roles in his 2000’s videos. I don’t and can’t know whether that’s intentional or just subconscious of course but they ARE there and especially visible with snokoplasm and Phillippa) A lot of people did this like 10 years before me so this is NOT original at all but I wanted to yap about it.

I remember seeing tumblr posts about this back in the day of people arguing whether this is lube or not lmao, but it COULD be!!! (Could be a good addition to the pina colada gate T-T.) It could be lube bc of my thoughts on the object/element as a whole. This could be an overanalysis and I could be making shit up but hear me out.

First of all realizing you’ve run out of snokoplasm is a bit odd bc a lot of other people say it’s shower gel etc (which could be and we’ll probably never know) but when you run out of this you usually know and don’t “realize” bc you use it often. You know. And if I read the whole thing as a queer allegory it being lube just makes sense???

He goes into the store and the shopkeeper immediately assumes he’s getting the blue one. Phil then gets offended and laughs, saying “You actually think I’d use blue?” and this alludes to the fact that he’s been stereotyped by the shop helper. We do know that he was “emo” and not very “stereotypically male” in his self presentation at the time and this kind of feels like people immediately assuming that he’s gay. The helper even says “It's so obvious that you use blue snokoplasm,” furthering this idea of Phil looking a certain way. Phil’s reply to this makes me truly believe that this a queer allegory because he shows off his muscles and says “Yellow all the way,” which isn’t really the way he usually talks, and ties to his problems with masculinity during this era. Then they have an argument over whether it’s yellow or green, which I don’t think it’s a direct metaphor but feels like bisexuality and heterosexuality. Phil pushes for the “hetero” one while the shopkeep tries to push the “bisexual” one on him, sure that he is queer? Also the discussion of language over queer identities still being more relevant than ever is funny lol. Phil finally accepts the “green” one, which is a kind of mirroring of a lot of gay people using the bisexual label before they are ready to come out as gay, to hang onto the idea of straight relationships. (which I have my own thoughts on but this is not the place for it). To make the queer reading more compelling, the shopkeep then says he will definitely secretly order the blue one online, almost as if that is a shameful thing. SO IDK it does feel like an either deliberate or subconsciously presented work of struggles with queer identity and a story of being “clocked” as a closeted person to me.

FOLLOW UP SNOKOPLASM MENTIONS IN OLD AMAZINGPHIL VIDS

ChristmasPhil- Him thanking people for thinking the one from the previous video IS yellow… interesting… 

“You can get blue as well obviously but… you know I wouldn’t buy that ever” in a shy persona is the main nail in the coffin for me. It’s like a if you know you know thing.

Philorida- I think him having blue snokoplasm and saying he bought it for a friend furthers the whole argument further. Even if Phil didn't intend this to be an allegory at first when he made it, it definitely did gain a meaning through these extra mentions.

Life without the internet!?- He briefly mentions snokoplasm and uses the red one. Red is never clearly defined, so I think it’s kind of an extra in terms of themes, but I need to watch more to be sure. Kind of supports snokoplasm not being an intentional metaphor but a successful accidental one.

TUMBLR STUFF ABOUT SNOKOPLASM

Right after writing this I did go on tumblr to see some older posts and this green/yellow argument also made sense to me and it strengthens the argument. 

There was another link which included a video response from someone at the time and now i cant find it :(((( but what i wrote abt it was:

The video response of the girl from SO LONG AGO does make me think that we are right and this is a direct metaphor of sexuality. (“It’s nothing to be ashamed of”, “I know it would be hard to say at first”)

ALLLSO this!

[dragongirltongue]

New Pinned post <3

Hi there, the name is Zelda, or one of like, 20 other names that may or may not be listed somewhere around here. If you know a name I go by that isn't findable here don't use it. <3

I'm bigender which is made up of girl and fem6oy, as such I use she/her and sometimes he/him pronouns when I'm feeling fem6oy enough <3

I'm in my 30s, not getting more specific than that until I decide it's not true enough to change it, don't try to find my exact age as I don't like sharing that information publicly, I don't even update it on my birthday <3

I'm a polyamorous bisexual voraphile freak and if you're over 18 you're welcome to talk to me about how much of a freak I am. I love to flirt and encourage it. Also happy to share my Other Blog with anyone interested, again as long as you're of age. <3

I'm a film graduate and currently working on doing something with that experience as well as working on a superhero comic and a 2D zelda style game. Feel free to bug me about any of those I love to discuss writing and media and want to encourage media literacy. <3

I'm also an ex-jehovahs witness and as a result I'm hugely into the holiday season in a very against my old god kinda way. Also big into sinning <3

Also I'm like, a dragon in probably an otherkin/thetadelta kinda way, like, it's core to who I am and how I understand myself so yeah. Despite this my fursona is a fox, the dragon in my icon is literally me <3

I also draw sometimes and when I do it'll be posted to @dragongirldrawings but always reblogged here too.

Also I'm a member of a plural system, feel free to check out the rest of the system over here @haven-sys <3

Further on the identity weirdness I'm an imaginary friend for the person who used to inhabit this body, they've been gone for like, over 20 years so it's not really relevant but I have started embracing my nature as a fictional creation, it's comforting.

Btw, if one of my posts containing my typing quirk ends up on your dash I take no responsibility for it. I use it in posts that are for me only and if they happen to resonate with others that's their choice to reblog.

I had intended to set tipping up on my blog for a while but adhd caused me to never get around to it sooo, homebrew tip button on my original posts. Feel free and outright encouraged to steal this idea <3

So yeah that's me, hiii I love you all <3

this post is specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue

DNI list under the read more.

lmao imagine if I actually made one of those finally, that's how you'd know I've been replaced with an evil clone or something.

That being said if you're looking at my blog to send me an ask or dm about what someone gets off to please understand unless they're actively hurting someone I rly don't care. I have a lot of ignored and blocked anons about this.

This goes double if the person you're trying to alert me to is trans femme, we don't play that game here, especially given that I know I've been targetted for things as simple as engaging in vore the wrong way for some people or whatever.

Like, I just want to make it clear I rly don't give a fuck what another adult does in the bedroom, I rly don't care if the bedroom happens to include their blog and I rly don't care if they like to flirt about it with other adults on this website.

Also if your pinned post is a callout for anyone about anything it's likely to set off my paranoia around you, which is to say I will not be able to trust you if this is the case even if it's for someone who's actually a danger to a community, like, actively.

Like, this ain't a moral stance or anything, it's a mental health thing. I see that you want to make your first point of contact into a crosshair on someone else I'm gonna be scared you're gonna aim at me next even if it's completely reasonable that you'd never find anything objectionable with me. It scares me and I'm gonna spend every interaction walking on egg shells around you cos what if you're digging for dirt, like, I got no way of knowing.

Anyway as the opening joke implies I don't see any worth in having a list of things to not interact with me over cos the lived experience on this planet is so full of nuance and I've formed deem friendships with people who'd probably have avoided me if I had a DNI and they cared about it.

I think DNIs are dumb but this feels like a space to talk about some general limits on what I'm gonna put up with on this website. I'm just here for a good time with other freaks, anything else is optional. If you want to drag me into your discourse at this point then I guess this is whre I ask you to Do Not Interact. To anyone else, I love yall <3

If you've been directed here after sending an ask my way please apologize for wasting my time [here]

tl;dr DNIs are dumb but don't drag me into your personal grievances with others.

this post is still specifically a6out tum6lr user Zelda dragongirltongue [tip]

[swallowtailed]

palisade 62 / finalisade side b track 6

on palisade!

one thing about fatt, they can stick a landing. more specifically austin and jack by their powers combined can stick a fucking landing. tbh let me talk about the outro first, actually:

stunning final track. loved hearing it morph from the palisade theme into other tunes.

a joy to hear from parti one last time!! probably my favorite npc of this season.

and to lift back out into the frame of perfect imperfect as hosted by layer luxurious (broadcasting from the planet of palisade, which is a lovely touch)—it’s my audio drama past coming out, but i do so love a diegetic radio show. we were promised that we would hear the end of the perfect millennium! and we did! satisfying.

i wasn’t sold on the plot of this sortie, but janine brought it home—has been bringing it home all arc. her work in this finale has been really, really cool. super solid science fiction. going from questlandia back into armor astir felt like an odd zigzag—much like dipping into and back out of the mirage—but the thread of blossoming sentiences was very strong.

(would like to take time to dig into the thematic structure of this season, now that it's over, but for now i am just pointing at it)

god, just knowing that brnine survived, and continued the fight… that's a win. closing on them bantering with thisbe was, i agree, the perfect final image.

brnine’s gravity clock changing to “thisbe is an important part of my life”... thisbe saying they’re a good captain and asking to watch a movie, and brnine immediately teasing her… they’re friends ;-;

also—season about grief—it was jokes, but thisbe saying “i was stating a fact, i wasn’t mourning” and brnine replying “sounded like mourning to me”, and ending palisade on that exchange… a good note of closure on that theme, i felt.

there’s been a lot of excellent character work this season—brnine, thisbe, cori, figure, jesset, and august all stand out to me. i’m trying not to make this post too long but man. genuinely incredible stuff.

perennial blooming again with thisbe’s gift of the pollen was really lovely. as was all the imagery in that scene

thisbe throwing sixes to speak with perennial was so Dice Game. one last little bit of serendipity for the road.

also thisbe being integrated with various different ways of being is very “it’s not a field it’s a garden” to me

i am looking forward to seeing how they treat this new phase of the divine cycle, because a transformation like that of the divine arbor would be devastating to a lot of lifeways & ecologies. it is far from the only time this has happened in the divine cycle! but it’s a great chance to concretize that. kudzu and other invasive species were raised in a previous ep; i’m also reminded of area x from jeff vandermeer’s annihilation. what i would like to see: a focus on new social forms, cf scavengers reign. fatt typically does not dig into ecologies, land relationships, etc, but perhaps they will look more in that direction in the divine arbor’s new world? who knows. either way i’m gonna be sitting here talking about ecological readings because unfortunately i do think it’s important and relevant lmao. (while i’m talking on the season scale, this is something i really want to see in sangfielle as well. which is a setting that even more deserves some time spent on the land.)

cori’s scene with elle was great. her storyline this season has been so fun—losing none of the bravado, but coming more into herself. i thought she was gonna give elle some of her blood but a ritual knife is probably a better gift.

can’t wait to see where they’re at next divine cycle season!!

“if only you could get five more minutes” made me laugh

glad that levi made it out! starcrossed is a wild name for a team led by a guy who kicked off his career by defeating the fear of death—kinda thumbing his nose at fate—but it seems like he’s pulling it off so far.

can local plant-based organizing be a viable alternative to galactic capitalism? i sure fuckin hope so!!

leap vanishing with present would have been extremely space opera

perennial blue ribbon…

i did overall really enjoy this season. i think it’s their best yet, for character work and executing on big ideas. a sharper take on twilight mirage. it’s dense but it has momentum. they really do get better every season imo... like my season ranking does kinda just go directly up in chronological order

god. palisade.

stay tuned~

(also, while we’re here, thanks for reading! this is something like the sixtieth of these weekly palisade ep posts, which is wild. it’s been a weird year and a half, personally—a lot of time in motion—but tuning into palisade every week and then thinking and discussing together has been really fun. so shoutouts!)

[tehrevving]

What has been Vincent's thoughts on reader? Especially the latest date fiasco and his moody reveal turning into probably the best bj of his life

Holy crap this answer got so long and drops so much unrevealed lore lmao. Enjoy!

My general characterisation of Vincent with regards to sex is that he is very interested in giving, but not so much receiving. Most of his sexual experience was with women at 'Turk Academy', who gravitated towards him because he was great at eating out and didn't expect too much in return. Vincent is demi and bi in my fic, but has a preference for women (because they make more mess lmao), not sure if that's relevant but *shrug*.

Due to him being demi, most of his experience being casual and how Lucrecia used him (which I've hinted at a little bit). He doesn't see fingering/eating out/etc as things that are overly emotional or complicated. Especially in the 'modern' day, as he can just keep his clothes on during all of it.

Reader made a deliberate effort in the beginning to understand him and get closer to him, just as a friend of course, but I don't think it's too surprising that he 'latched on' to the first person to take an interest in actually getting to know him in a long time. I do wish I'd added an extra chapter near the beginning to make this a bit more clear lol, but oh well.

After Hojo's experiments on him, he doesn't think anyone could ever want him. He actually is that person covering the bathroom mirrors and showering in the dark lol. He interprets Reader initially showing sexual interest in him, not as her actually wanting him, but as her wanting him to pleasure her, which he has no problem with doing.

She tries to address this in chapter 9 (the one after the stargazing but before the eating out), and explicitly tells him that she wants more, but he's so in denial that while he says he'll try and be better, in his mind he doesn't believe her, and to cope with it reverts to trying to ignore all of it with sex. Which was basically his relationship with Lucrecia lol, everything is too complicated so we'll just fuck and ignore all of it.

Vincent caught feelings after the fight where he transforms and the conversation afterwards. He didn't realise that's what was happening at the time, and has been in extreme denial about it. A lot of his back and forth behaviour has been him trying to reconcile his feelings with his own self-doubt and just general trauma and issues, and that he generally didn't see sex as a big deal, until suddenly it is.

All of this then builds up to the point where he just can't handle it anymore. He hasn't tried getting off after all of the experimentation, and finds that he can't on his own. I might write this as an extra chapter one day, but I feel like he can't push himself over that metaphorical edge because of his self-loathing, hatred and fear of losing control over his own body.

When he asks her for help getting off that first time, he's actually asking for a lot of unspoken things. The fact that she doesn't shy away from him, is very enthusiastic, and works within his boundaries, is a huge deal. That interaction gives Vincent hope that all of this might work.

Which brings us to the Gold Saucer date. I love this chapter. It might not be super obvious, but almost every single interaction that the two of them have with the attractions and the other group members has narrative significance. (send me another ask and I'll do a whole analysis on that lol)

Vincent decides that he is going to use this time at the Gold Saucer as a test, to see if he thinks that he can make this work. Vincent has a lot of hangups about his body and that he's not normal. He has quite an old fashioned mentality about courting someone, dating etc (but not fucking lmao). And is very aware that he can't take her out to share a meal/drinks, or do a lot of general date things. He considers this to be a huge deal.

He starts off in a good mood but grows continually frustrated throughout the night as he is reminded of all of his perceived shortcomings, and the fact that none of them seem to bother her.

By the time the G-bike VR is finished, that frustration reaches its peak and Vincent is sort of minutes away from losing control and transforming. She tries to comfort him, but he realises that nothing she says to him will work. Like, she says it's not a big deal that he can't play VR, when that's not the problem, the problem is that he is so inhuman that even a computer is rejecting him. He tries to remove himself from the situation as fast as he can and storms off. At the beginning of the date, he had some hope that he wouldn't have to reject her, but at this point he is completely convinced that he is going to, even if he has to be forceful about it.

He just stews in his own anger and self-loathing, not noticing anything around him or how his emotions are actually physically affecting her. When she calls him out on it and he actually looks at her and sees that she is basically shaking and paralysed with fear (I think I played this down in the actual chapter, but in my first draft this shit was intense), he realises that he needs to control himself. The fact that she followed him and is still trying to help him even though he is making her feel like that dissipates a lot of his anger and just leaves him with the frustration.

He doesn't want to reveal too much about the experimentations that were done to him, and honestly I think he doesn't quite understand the implications of a lot of it either. So he tries to explain while glossing over a lot of it, which means he ends up talking about more of his general human sexual trauma instead lol.

He figured that she might not shy away from the monster arm. He had hoped that showing her that would just explain everything, but of course it doesn't. I think that Vincent's self-loathing means that he's not that good at predicting how other people will react. When he thinks through conversations in his head, he assumes everyone has a terrible opinion of him to start with. So, she catches him off guard when she talks about how she already knows he's a 'monster' and doesn't care.

He continually keeps throwing out these bullshit reasons, that ignore her feelings on the matter and she's sick of it. She realises that she needs to hold him the fuck down, make him shut up and realise that she doesn't care about his dumb excuses. But at the same time, she's also smart enough to realise that it'll just make it worse if she forces him. It's important that it's him that takes his clothes off, exposes himself, pulls her into position etc. I really like that scene and the buildup because it's clear that they're both trying to show and enforce consent while being angry and not talking about it.

As for the actual blowjob. Look, she sucked his soul out through his dick and he is now 100% ride-or-die committed. He has never had anyone treat his body with any actual care. Obviously the experiments were bad, but even before that, having had mostly one night stands and then of course Lucrecia. He hasn't ever had someone care for him like that before. The fact that Reader is showing that care for the first time on his ruined, experimented-on body, destroys him. The way that she checks in on him, reassures him, and has taken note of his own cues (The 'I'm here', is so fucking important), convinces him. All of those things are the actual, polar opposite to how Lucrecia treated him (and I do intend to write a prequel about that too lol)

I love their little sex affirmations. My fave part of the fic honestly. The way that they can bounce off each other, reassure each other and show understanding with a just a few words or hair pulls. I love it lol.

Anyway, Vincent starts acting a bit differently after the Gold Saucer date, and I am so excited to show you all. I am writing furiously, but these things can't be rushed lol.