#very unintimidating

[melonblood]

u can get cool colored papers for Free???? sign me up!!!!

[luzzyluz]

drawings I never posted :p

[catominor]

i have to approach someone as a potential dissertation supervisor for next year but its so scaryyy like... augh

[adozentothedawn]

I now finally own a complete suit set! Jacket, pants, dressshirt, vest, tie and all! I am extremely dapper and handsome but also with the hair tied back over the undercut it gives a little bit "gangsta who dressed up for the boss' daughter's wedding". xD

[rudjedet]

🐹 knowledge is exciting, not scary

🐹 for “You? Intimidating? Hell no.”

While I absolutely agree that knowledge is exciting rather than scary, you must also be new here ;D

[themagnificentmx]

🐹 sorry baby

answering this post

hey >:(( i can be intimidating sometimes

[nyanryan]

matching w so many cool people on bumble but unfortunately i am completely socially inept. girl help </3

[godsprettiestprincess]

Thinking about Lucifer & Ellen & Jo & Ash again.

[love-toxin]

I think people would be intimidated by you, but I also think that once people get to know you, you’re a really cool and fun person to be around, also very creative

oh 🥺🥺 you think im cool??!?!!!? im kissing u rn......this is also funny bc whenever i meet new ppl i so often get that "😳" look when i swear bc apparently i don't look like the type LOOOOL

[nonotnolan]

Jock Cock, Part 1

"You wanted to see me, sir?" Adam Johnson, next year's star quarterback and this year's bane of my existence, looked up at me with his baby blue eyes. If he was trying to look small and unintimidating, it would have worked better without carrying 200+ pounds of muscle on a six foot frame.

Well, if he wanted to be melodramatic, two could play that game. "You know full well why I called you here, Adam." I thumped the stack of papers on my desk for emphasis. "You've been failing ECON 105 all semester, but suddenly you can score an 83% on the final exam? It's enough to get you D- in this class. It's not a perfect score, but it's still enough for you to avoid academic probation."

His face flashed with a brief moment of irritation before setting back into his normal, casual stupor. "Well, I wasn't studying before, and now I did. It's not like I scored all that great... sir."

"We both know that you don't know what 'sustainability' means, Adam. You tried to fly under the radar, you didn't cheat your way into a 100%... but it's still cheating. We both know that academic misconduct is a serious crime." I tried my best to sound stern and disappointed, but it was hard to be angry at a face this sexy.

Adam just laughed at me. "And if you could prove it, you wouldn't be calling me into a private meeting, would you?" He leaned back into a shit-eating grin, displaying his dazzling white teeth. This asshole had the upper hand, and he knew it.

"I checked every single essay!" I said, pounding the stack of papers once again. "Every essay, in every single TA's session of this class. You didn't plagiarize... but we both know this isn't your style of writing. And we watched you like a hawk during the exam itself, so you didn't cheat that way, either."

Adam leaned close into my face. "Professor Michaels has no idea that you called me in here, does he? You're just a Teaching Assistant on a power trip, and it's all because you can't stand knowing how I did it." He was right, and I hated him for it. Worse, when he stood this close to me, I could smell the musk of his body.

"Tell you what," he added, pulling off his tank top to reveal a set of firm abs. "You let me get away with this... sign off on my scores, whatever you need to do... and I'll let you live out one of your deepest, darkest fantasies." He struck a pose, showing off both his rippling muscles and his hairy pits. "We both know that you'll never get jock cock any other way. Come on, Teach. You want this."

Was I really that easy to read? "I-- I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Look, if you're going to stick to your lie about studying, then you can just leave. I don't... there's no need to insult my moral character. You're a student, Adam."

He responded by leaning in close to me, and placing his hand on top of my bulge. "Your body betrays you," he whispered, letting his fingers massage my inner thigh. "If it makes you feel better, I'm not your student. Adam and I swapped bodies so that I could take all of his final exams."

"I... yes, well..." That was the last thing I expected him to say, but it would explain a lot if it were true, somehow. It seemed much more likely than a desirable athlete like Adam coming onto me, at the very least.

"Be that as it may," I said, grabbing his hand and moving it away before my cock started leaking though my slacks, "that body still belongs to one of my students. And I still have meetings to attend today, so if we're done here..."

Adam, or the stranger in Adam's body, just laughed at me. "You're the one who wanted to have this meeting, remember? But that's fine, I know when I'm not wanted. But here's the thing-- once you submit grades at end of day, Adam's not your student anymore." He started typing something on his phone. "And honestly, I expected this from you. You're so uptight. Good thing you gave everyone your cell phone number on the syllabus at the start of the year. So if you change your mind... now you can have Adam's number, and a bonus pic from me."

"I know you don't know the real me, but trust me Kevin-- I've wanted to plow that uptight hole of your for months. And in this body, I've actually got a shot at it." The stranger slapped my ass before I could react, and swaggered out of the room. Whoever was inside of Adam's body, they knew my first name.

I looked at the retreating wall of shoulder muscles, and down at the teasing bathroom selfie the stranger sent to me. God help me, I was only human. And he was right-- how else was I going to get jock cock? He wasn't a student, not really, and that's what mattered. "You win. Tonight at 8pm, my place. Bring lube."

[nehts]

WELL. WELL V2.0

[aroaceleovaldez]

We as a fandom don't do enough with the fact that Nico and Hazel probably cuss the most out of the Argo II crew. Hazel just straight up canonically has a sailor's mouth and Nico is literally introduced as a ten year old telling his first monster to "take your great army and shove it up your ass."

They're both the youngest and probably also the shortest besides Leo on the ship. Nico's extremely quiet and spooky but relatively kind and polite and very diplomatic most of the time. Hazel's an absolute ray of sunshine and a sweetheart and extremely unintimidating. And both of them probably casually sprinkle swears into their sentences with zero care. Enough UwU-ified Death Sibs let them say "go fuck yourself" in the exact same tone they'd say "good morning."

[sunnasweet]

Lina and The Landlord 1 & 2

this has been on literotica for a bit now and i forgot to post it here

literotica summary: Lina’s rent is late and her landlord makes her pay.

critiques are very much appreciated

5.4k , alien x female reader

The creaky floorboards of Lina’s sector 3 apartment creaked under her anxious footsteps.

Pacing back and forth while checking her comm for the umpteenth time, Lina’s eyes glazed over as she scanned through her late rent notice. The summary? Pay or get out.

Lina glanced at the holographic clock on her wall nervously, soon enough her landlord would be here to either get his credits or tell her she had a couple of weeks to pack up and leave. Lina didn’t have the credits to pay rent and she definitely didn’t have the credits to move. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.

Her only option was to try to appeal to his hearts and beg him for an extension on her rent.

The trouble was, her landlord was a slumlord asshole.

Sol Sender was a cold two-hearted alien freak who nickeled and dimed her at every expense of her unit. He put the heat on a minimum during the artificial colder months and complained when her water bill was too high. This all-amenities-paid-for bullshit was exactly that considering her rent was so damn high at 400 credits per week on a Sector 3 apartment.

One unexpected system malfunction with her credit transfer later and now she was in danger of being flat on her ass in Sector 1 where the homeless lived.

Still. All of this was better than living on the radioactive hellscape that Earth was these days.

Snapped out of her thoughts, Lina heard the familiar 3 bang-knock pattern that her landlord always used and groaned.

“Coming!” she called, her voice cracking.

Lina shuffled over to the door. She looked through the peephole, taking a deep breath. There he was. Sol Sender.

She opened the door with a painful smile on her face, regarding the alien male with the tilt of her chin. “Sol, hey…” she started awkwardly.

Sol looked at Lina with a raised bushy brow, his lips were in a hard thin line making his strong chin appear more prominent. Lina tried to act unintimidated but it was hard when she was a 5’6 to his approximately 6’4. It wasn’t easy to stare at a man with confidence when you had to bend your neck to look up at him. Even without the stern look on his face, his sheer bulk made her feel like a petulant child.

He looked much like a lion and she wouldn’t be surprised to learn if he had descended from them considering the thin fur-tipped tail that was flicking back and forth behind him, the mane of black fluffy hair, and a flat wide nose. 

Luckily his teeth were as blunt as Lina’s. She nearly shivered. She’d seen one too many aliens with sharp knife-like fangs.

“Rent’s due,” he said. Strict and straight. His voice had a slight growling undertone to it and she was sure he must descend from some sort of beast.

Lina winced, “Yeah…that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about, why don’t you come inside?” bruskly he nodded and stepped forward. Lina opened the door wider to him and took a deep breath as he stepped inside. He seemed to be in a good mood today. She closed the door and leaned against it with an awkward smile.

“So?” He stared, looking at her expectantly. “Where’s your rent?”

She laughed nervously, “See the thing is…I don’t have the money right now.”

Sol did not look amused.

Lina’s eyes flitted to his tail, whipping back and forth quicker now. She cleared her throat, “But I can get it to you of course. I just need a bit more time, things have been kind of screwy with my paycheck recently and I was wondering if you could just give me till the end of the month?”

Sol’s slit pupiled gaze was locked onto Lina, he stared at her for a long quiet while. Before letting out a grunt and shaking his head.

“No,”  he said simply.

“Uhm,” she cleared her throat, “what?” 

Was he being serious? She’d been a model tenant up until now. Never made any noise, barely asked for him to come around if there was a problem, and sure he complained about the heating or water or electricity but she knew he got on everyone’s ass about that.

“I said no,” he shrugged. “If I let this go then there’s another problem next month and the month after that then I have other tenants hearing about letting this slide and they’ll think they can do it too.”

Lina rapidly blinked. She actually felt herself beginning to tear up because of this asshole. What the hell was his problem? Had he never been through an unforeseen event in his life?

“Listen, I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have to.” she explains, “I don’t have anywhere else to go,” she tried to appeal to whatever soul he had deep, deep, deeep down inside. “My parents don’t live on this Station.”

Sol shook his head, “That’s not my problem. Book a hotel, go stay with a friend. If you don’t have rent for me then you’re out.” her mouth dropped open.

“How…how soon would I have to leave?” she asked nervously. He shifted on his feet shrugging, scratching his jaw.

“A week, maybe two.”

“You’re kidding.”

“This is Sector 3. I’m giving you a break, the law says I could kick you out today if I wanted to.” Lina swallowed. What kind of fucked up shit was this? Was she really about to be flat on her ass? Where would she go? She wasn’t lying, her parents don’t live in this station, and as embarrassing as it was to admit she doesn’t have any friends who would be willing to let her crash on their couch.

There was no way Lina could just accept this.

“Can’t we work something out?” she pleaded, “maybe a payment plan or…or I could owe you a favor or something.” Sol’s head tilted at that, his lip quirking up and Lina immediately wanted to back-pedal because nothing about that look on his face seemed good. It had alarm bells blaring in her head to just accept defeat and start packing.

“A favor?” he asked, his lip quirking up. His eyes gleamed as if he had been expecting this.

Her eyebrows furrowed, she nodded but her heart was beginning to pick up speed. “Y-yeah, like I could house-sit or something if you’re ever out of port or…I don’t know run you an errand.”

“No,” he smirked, looking her up and down. “I have a favor in mind.”

Lina bit her lip. What was he getting at? He couldn’t be… No. That was insane. She could take this asshole straight to court if he was implying what she thought he was. Not that she could afford it…

“Uhm. What is it?”

His smirk turned into a straight-up grin, Sol prowled towards her and she regretted putting herself up against the door. He got close enough to put both his arms on either side of her head. Caging her in, he leaned forward.

“Turn around.”

“What?”

He chuckled, “Turn around Lina.”

She shivered. No way. She shook her head.

“No.” she said weakly, “I’m not doing that. Ask for something else.”

He shrugged. “I don’t want anything else. What I want is for you to turn around and let me take off those pants that hug your tight ass.” Lina’s lips parted as air fled from her lungs. She shook her head again and he seemed undeterred. “No? Well then, maybe you should start packing.”

Lina weighed her options. Getting booted to Sector 2, maybe even 1 or a few sweaty minutes?

The answer seemed clear.

Well, fuck it. Literally.

Tentatively Lina turned around so that she was facing the door and her palms were flat on the cold metallic surface. Sol’s hands came up to cover hers, keeping her pinned there as he gently kicked at her ankles to spread her feet apart.

“Stay like this,” he grumbled.

No way was she about to have sex with her landlord right now. No way. That thought kept repeating over and over even as Lina’s yoga pants slid down her body. She lifted a foot then the other and he kicked them away.

His hand traced over her lower back then the globe of her ass and she took an inhaled breath when his fingers hooked the edge of her panties.

“Nice,” he murmured, rubbing the simple cotton, laced underwear with his thumb and forefinger. They were nothing special. Just plain black cotton, the lace made her feel more girlish but she certainly hadn’t felt sexy until about five seconds ago. Not that she should be feeling sexy, she should be feeling…humiliated, ashamed–whorish.

Instead, she was nervous, excited, and slightly aroused.

Though she would never admit it to anyone, she found Sol to be quite attractive. His mane was something she’d always wanted to run her fingers through and she was fascinated by his tail. With his physique, it looked pretty small but in comparison to herself, she could probably just barely wrap her whole hand around it. The length matched up to her leg and she often wondered what its evolutionary purpose was.

Sol grasped her hips and tugged her back so she was half bent over while her hands were placed flat on the wall. Her arousal seemed to increase. She’d never been with an alien before despite their majority population on Omega Station.

He palmed her ass with a grunt before unceremoniously pulling down her underwear. She was officially bare now, the cold air of the room kissing at her already slightly wet slit. She glanced back as he looked down between her legs.

Sol’s expression was unreadable to Lina, she had no idea what a surly man like him would be thinking looking at a human woman’s pussy. Had he been with a human before? Was he disgusted by her anatomy?

Maybe it was the hair. Lina wondered what the grooming habits of his species were. Did the women go completely hairless like most human women did? Lina didn’t do any of that. She gave herself a trim whenever things got out of hand but for the most part, she just left the hair alone down there. The one time she tried to shave, it grew back so coarse it took weeks of conditioner treatments to get herself settled back to the soft bush she was familiar with. She’d sworn off hair removal there ever since.

His hands gently petted her mound before he gruffly spoke, “Spread your legs wider.”

With a flushed face, she did.

He knelt and she exclaimed, “O-oh!” when he pressed his face directly into her pussy. 

One hand held onto her thigh while the other continued to stroke through the soft tufts of her bush. She nearly lost her balance when his tongue went probing between her thighs.

His nose bumped her clit and she was having a hard time keeping herself upright in this weird semi-squatting position. His hands smoothed her down and then spread her apart. She whimpered as he teased his tongue inside her.

When Sol told Lina to turn around the last thing she expected was for him to go down on her. She had logically assumed he was going to just use her body without giving anything in return but she was absolutely bewildered by the fact that he was kneeling in front of her, sucking her clit while he groaned with desire.

Everything came to a halt in her brain when he licked a strip from her clit to her ass, she gasped in shock when he started to prod at the puckered hole.

“Ohh...no, no-” she whined, “wait! I’m not, I didn’t–” she squealed as he tongued her asshole.

Lina had never properly received oral in her life. She had one too many unenthused boyfriends that ruined the entire experience for her so when asked she usually declined but the way he was handling her like this had her going crazy. He didn’t ask, he just set to work and while that might be a problem for some people it certainly wasn’t a problem for her. 

She squirmed as he held her by the thighs practically forcing her to sit on him while standing, her hands were no longer flat against the wall, she was bent over, her hands anxiously hovering over him as she was assaulted by the unfamiliar pleasure.

“Sol!” she whimpered, he groaned in response, switching back to sucking her vulva and clit. Her back arched, hips craning to angle herself just right against his tongue. Everything sounded so lewd, the wet and sloppy sounds going on between her thighs were too much for her. She squeezed her eyes closed and she mewled above him.

Soon enough she was rocking back and forth against his mouth, her mouth thinning into a strained line as she breathed hard through her nose. Her brows furrowed and her toes curled.

“Oh god.” she sobbed suddenly and that was it. The dam had exploded. She was ruthlessly riding his face until she was trying to get away from him to which he followed her while holding her in place to overstimulate her. “Sol!” she cried out once again. She practically keeled over as she squawked above him.

When he was finally done with her, he wasn’t done for long. The moment he stumbled back onto his feet he turned her around and pushed her back against the wall.

His pupils were completely dilated and her eyes widened to see that he did have fangs. Retractable ones. Aliens. Go figure. She stared at the four big canines, two on top, two on bottom. 

Maybe she was scared of him having fangs so much because now that he had them she wanted to know what it would feel like if he bit her. If he broke her skin and drew blood.

She shivered, Sol pulled up her top and stared at her tits before bending over and sloppily laving against her nipples. The back of Lina’s head gently knocked against the wall as she moaned, holding her shirt up for him and pushing her chest out like she was giving an offering to him. 

As he sucked on her breasts, his hands came around to grope her ass. Squeezing and massaging her.

She wanted to do something for him but she was so overwhelmed by his tending of her that she could do little more but just stand there and let her eyes roll back as she squirmed against him. She wasn’t usually a terrible lover. Perhaps he just brought out the worst in her.

Dazedly, Lina reached for the zipper of his pants and he grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head. She huffed and he bared his fangs at her which made her quiver in desire. Apparently, he didn’t want her help.

“Stay,” he growled, commanding her like a newborn puppy. She did. Happily. When he realized she wasn’t going anywhere and would keep her arms above her head without his guidance, he shoved his lips against hers and she moaned outright.

Lina felt something twist around her thigh and she was surprised to see when she pulled back that it was his tail. She looked at him panting.

“Can you control that?” she asked curiously.

He shrugged, equally out of breath. “Sometimes,” he responded bruskly. 

Hot.

Finally, he took her shirt off. She breathed a sigh of contentment as her still-wet nipples hardened under the cold hair of the room.

Maybe because she was half high off her orgasm she asked, “Are you going to take your clothes off now?”

It took little begging on her part. He grabbed his shirt from the back and pulled it over his head with a grunt. Lina’s eyes greedily took in his muscular body, Sol had broad shoulders she could hang on to and a tapered waist that drew her eyes to the nice v of his pelvis peeking through his pants.

She licked her dry lips, waiting for him to remove his pants, she could already see the obvious bulge straining underneath and at this point, she had thrown caution to the wind about the implications of screwing her landlord for free rent.

Lina’s eyes went wide when Sol’s cock was freed. He was hard, curved, and most importantly to her thick. 

She could already imagine his girth stretching her open, it had been a while since Lina had been fucked. At least 5 months, maybe longer.

“Where do you want me?”

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes going from top to bottom before he directed her towards the bedroom. “Come,” he coaxed, grabbing her forearm while he dragged her inside her bedroom. She let out a slight ‘oompf’ sound when he pushed her face forward onto the mattress. She crawled on top, spreading herself open for him with a pant.

She laid there on all fours, waiting for him. Wanton and ready. Maybe Lina really was a whore, but she didn’t care. At least, not right now. Not when she could feel his knuckles briefly traveling over the backs of her thighs before taking a handful of her ass.

“Mm..” he grumbled, “Already presenting for me.” her brows furrowed, she didn’t know what that meant but she didn’t think on it too long as he knelt behind her, his knees on the bed. His hands now gripping her waist. “You have a birth control implant?” he asked.

Lina nodded, arching her hips further upwards, practically begging him to stick his dick in her pussy. She was on full display for him. Too horny to think of anything but his fat cock.

“Good.” he reached forward, stroking Lina’s clit in circles and her eyes rolled back, “I want you raw,” he said lowly into her ear, it made her twitch. No one had ever talked to Lina in this way. Ever.

Slowly, he sunk into her, causing a whine to escape her throat. Lina slumped forward, head down–ass up. Inch by inch he pushed inside, deliciously stretching her just the way she had been hoping for. Her pussy sucked him in eagerly, fluttering around him already.

She looked over her shoulder to see Sol with a perfectly stoic expression, the only evidence that he was feeling something was the slight crease between his two brows as he hissed through his teeth.

“Fuuck yeah.” he groaned, rocking forward once. He pressed as deeply as he could go before slowly backing out halfway then rocked forward again. He repeated this pattern at a slow and steady pace.

Lina was done for. She was gasping and clawing at the sheets as his cock kissed her insides exactly where she needed him to. He pressed his palms on top of Lina’s hands, sinking deeper inside as he bent himself against her. Chest to back. Lina’s breasts swayed from underneath her and she could already feel an impending pressure in her abdomen.

“Sol..” she whined, rocking back against him.

He was right next to her ear, she could feel his hot breath on her neck. “Hmmm?”

“Harder.” she whimpered pathetically, “please.” she tacked on.

He groaned once more, burying his nose into her neck. Inhaling her deeply as his hips began to pump faster behind her. His hips slapped against her ass and to her delight, the fur-tipped tail began to prod at her clit, bumping against it before falling into a back-and-forth rhythm. His forearm, wrapped around her neck and pulled her further in against his chest.

They were both in a slightly awkward semi-squat/semi-kneel position but it didn’t matter because it felt amazing. Lina’s breaths were tinged with a whimpered sob every time his cock would hit a specific spot inside her and he made an effort to target it once he realized the pattern. She couldn’t take much more of this. How long until she worked off a month’s worth of rent? Would it take all night? Lina didn’t know if she could handle that.

“Ahh..” she cried out, something snapping inside her, she backed 

into him furiously and he growled in hopefully delight. His face went back to her neck and she could feel his canines scraping against her delicate skin. “Mmm…yeah..” she whimpered, “Do it, fucking bite me.” she baited.

He throbbed inside her, his pace increasing and she realized she must’ve set him off in some way because as his movements had become sloppier and more unpredictable, his canines were burying deep inside her neck. She gasped, the sting of pain welling inside her but distracted by everything else going on.

Her eyes rolled back, pussy pulsating around him. Squeezing him for everything he had as her impending orgasm came closer.

Lina’s hips were rocking, and she was arching her back as far as it would go. Craning her head back, revealing more of her neck to the tongue that was currently swiping at her throat.

“Cum.” he grunted, with a growl, “milk my cock.” he ordered.

Maybe Lina had learned a new kink of hers but being ordered around like this set her over the edge, having her toes curling and eyes clenching shut as a wail escaped her throat. Her orgasm seized her, making her go completely still while she painfully clenched on the cock inside of her. 

She was pinned against the bed as a roar sounded from behind her, two clawed hands digging into her hips as she was moved to fuck up and down, prolonging her orgasm.

Sol’s canines dug into Lina’s neck, causing a scream from Lina.

He began to swell inside her, and moments later she was filled with thick warm heat. She moaned weakly, collapsing against the bed as cum was pumped into her.

To her surprise, Sol did not get up, grab his things, and go once they were finished. Instead, he unmounted Lina, watching the cum drip from her twitching hole. He let out a satisfied grunt and laid down on the bed next to her. Unexpectedly taking her into his arms.

Lina was too tired to ask what he was doing and the way he was running his fingers through her hair and rubbing his cheek against hers had Lina feeling drowsy. His tail wrapped around her upper right thigh. She was sure there was still blood running down her neck. 

“I’ve been waiting months to conquer you.” he gruffly spoke, Lina’s eyes momentarily fluttered open but she couldn’t speak–too tired to talk. “Now you’re all mine,” he said sternly, staring down at her as if expecting a challenge. Lina had no response to that. She had no idea what he meant but “conquer” as he rambled on, crooning into her ear how well he would take care of her while he functionally groomed her.

A rumble in his chest vibrated between them as he spoke lowly–soothing her to sleep.

Uncharacteristically he said, “Thank you for presenting me opportunity to show my worth as a mate.” he spoke softly, and nuzzled against her ear but all that was buzzing around her head was the word he had used. 

Mate.

Lina’s sleepy ears perked at a particular word.

Mate.

What the hell did that mean?

“What are you talking about?” she rasped. Her eyes were opening and closing, he had really zapped–or fucked the energy out of her. “I’m not…this is just…”

Business. A mutually beneficial exchange.

Sol eyed her intensely. “Just what?” his large paw stroked up and down her back and he pulled her closer into his grasp. “I’ve conquered you. That makes you mine.”

What the fuck?

Lina squirmed in his grasp, sitting up with a huff. “That’s not what this is at all,” she remarked calmly. The drowsiness kept her cool but she was starting to become more alert as this misinformed alien kept speaking. “What are you even talking about?” 

Despite her rejection of his… proclamation? He looked calm as ever and continued to lay languidly on her bed as he kept grabbing at her.

“I’m providing for you now,” he says, then adds, “This apartment is yours because I’m giving it to you in exchange for your obedience.” 

Obedience. The words rang through Lina’s head. Just what the hell had she agreed to? Yes, she couldn’t pay her rent. But that didn’t mean that she was going to be his toy or housewife or just whatever he had in mind for her.

“Wait a minute.” she shook her head, “That’s not…I didn’t agree to that. This is just sex. I’m not going to let you control me!” She was starting to panic now. Was he nuts? What sort of mental gymnastics had he been performing to come to this conclusion?

“Settle,” he murmured, squeezing her gently. “I’m not going to be a demanding mate.”

There was that word again.

“We’re not mates!” she said, half irate and a low growl escaped from beside her. “I don’t even know what that means!”

“We are,” he said sternly. Then he rubbed his thumb over her neck–which caused her to wince when he pressed down on a tender spot. The bite mark. “This makes it so.” She slapped his paw away and touched the spot herself and her mouth gaped wide open. Her brain was going a mile a minute. She hadn’t consented to this!

“I didn’t agree to this!” she repeated, trying to escape from his grasp.

Sol huffed. Humans, he thought. Always going back on their word. Well. Sol wouldn’t let her. He had been trying to find the right way to conquer her for months. In this new environment–away from his home planet, it wasn’t easy to dominate a female. At least, not if he had wanted to do it the honorable way.

He hadn’t honestly been going to throw Lina out to the streets of the megaship, but he needed a way to seize the opportunity that had landed at his feet even if it wasn’t ethical by human means.

“You did, you asked me to bite you.” He grumbled.”

“I–!” well. She had, hadn’t she?

Do it, fucking bite me. That’s what she had said to him.

“That was just in the heat of the moment!” she argued, “It didn’t mean anything, I didn't agree to all this!”

“You agreed when you presented to me.” he rumbled. By all means, he had won. Now he just needed her to understand that. Of course, he was prepared to take on an aggressive female. He had thought her submission had come a little too easily.

Lina stared at him bewildered. “I don’t know what that means,” she said exasperated. “You can’t just tell me I’ve–oh!” she was toppled over, “what are you doing?!” she shouted.

He grabbed her by the waist, putting her on her hands and knees. “This is presenting,” he said lowly–sultry. “You put your back to me and–” Lina whimpered when he cupped between her legs. “Showed me your cunt.”

He said it so matter-of-factly that Lina didn’t know what to do. She was held there on her hands and knees with her landlord pawing at her pussy. 

“Stop that.” she hissed, she was still sensitive from earlier. 

He purred, “Why? You like it…” his hand rubbed back and forth then circled her clit with the pads of three fingers and she bit her lip hard to stop the moan that wanted to escape her mouth. “Don’t fight this…or do…” he murmured, “I’ll just prove myself to you again if I must.”

“All you’ve proved is that you’re a perverted slumlord!” she gasped, hips arching when he dipped two fingers inside her. They slid in easily with a squelch–she was still sloppy with his cum. “Angh! I said stop!” Lina squealed.

He nuzzled against the crook of her neck and she shivered, it felt strangely intimate. The way he was positioned against her, thrusting his fingers in and out of her as he kissed and laved at the bite mark he thought meant some sort of ownership over her.

“You’re..ahh..an asshole!” she moaned out, “stop this,” she begged. Lina was weak. Everything he was doing to her body made her want to give in. To go along with this whole ‘mate’ thing if it meant that he’d keep touching her like this.

“Listen to me…” he purred into her ear, “Your place is here. Your home…that I’m paying for now because you can’t. I’m housing you…taking care of you.” he curled his fingers inside her and her mouth dropped open, “And I’ll do much more for you now that we’re mates.”

“No.” she whimpered, “I just…” she just needed to work out her credit situation then they were done. That was all. This … this was all temporary. “Ohhh!” her eyes squeezed shut when he began to finger her harder. 

“Don’t reject this.” he coaxed, “I can make you feel so good.” he continued to cajole into her ear just like before, talking about all the ways he would spoil and take care of her and it was so confusing for her mind, she was whining now. 

Tears pooled in her eyes, she felt so full from his two thick fingers and the twinge in her core made her feel crazy. She needed more. She needed his cock.

“Fuck…” she hissed, angling her hips higher, showing her dripping slit. “Fuck me…please…please.”

He sucked harshly on her bite mark and she spasmed.

“OH!”

“Lina…tell me, tell me what I want to hear.” he asked, “And I’ll give you everything you want.”

“N-no…” she whimpered. 

She didn’t want to be controlled. Didn’t want to be obedient to Sol. She barely knew him, and from what she had seen so far there wasn’t much more worth knowing. But the way he cooed in her ear. Talked about caring for her, it made her feel warm inside. Made her want to look deeper. He was using her for sure. 

But maybe he would use her kindly…

“Please…” she begged, “Please fuck me Sol.”

He growled against her ear, “You can beg all you want, but I’m patient…now, tell me you’ll be mine.”

“N-no-oohh!” she cried out, his fingers moving faster, twisting and curling.

“You want my cock Lina?” he asked, positioning behind her, “Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you and fill you up with my seed?” God. Yes. That is exactly what she wanted.

“Please!” she begged again, thinking she was about to get her way.

He pulled his fingers out of her gaping pussy, then thrust. Only it wasn’t inside of her cunt, but between her pussy lips. The tip teasing her throbbing clit.

“Sol!” She sobbed, “I can’t take it anymore, please!”

“You know what I want Lina…give it to me.” he growled. Pistoning his hips. His tip grazed her entrance one too many times and she was keening now.

“Oh gods!” she screamed, “Yess…yes–” Lina bawled, “I’ll be your mate, just please, please fuck me!”

There it was. The words he had wanted to hear. He smiled in victory, then took her hips between his hands. He slid inside her in one fell push. They both groaned in pleasure and Sol pumped into Lina furiously. He wanted to fill her up with cubs but her damned breeding implant prevented that. He was getting worked up into a frenzy. Instinct overriding logic.

Saliva filled his mouth and his fangs were coming down, he was going to take a bite out of her. Again.

And he did, sinking his teeth into her neck for the second time of the night, Lina howled and jerked underneath him and Sol held her to him as he continued to fuck her. 

She was pulsing around him, her pussy clenching tightly as she came with a cry. The pressure was too much for him to bear and he roared out his orgasm. He swelled, filling her up with his cum. He continued to fuck her as she sobbed against the mattress until he was sure he had given her every bit of his seed. He held onto her tightly. Purring in her ear as she shook.

Sol suckled at her skin, tasting the coppery blood of his mate. 

His.

“Mine.” he rumbled quietly.

She nodded, beat. “Yours.”

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[tinydefector]

Rescued

Ratchet x human reader

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: pitfighting, injuries and swearing.

Ratchet masterlist

Start of the Ratchet fic series piece from my poll. I've got some more request I'll have. Look thought but enjoy the first part of Rescued.

________________

Ratchet was no stranger to the black market, it had been where he had gotten a lot of his medical supplies before the war, and even now he still had dealers he went to for better prices, the Dead End had been in desperate need back then. Now it was the fact he was hunting for very specific equipment he was hoping that one of the dealers had. One of his patients had gotten a backstreet modification done and now he was dealing with trying to undo it. 

He entered the seedy marketplace with cautious optics. Black markets were rarely safe, even for one as grizzled as himself, but sometimes they provided resources not found through official medcentres. Swindle was impossible to miss. The shifty salesbot sidled up with a grin. "Well well, if it isn't the good doctor. Haven't seen you in a while. What can I do for you today?" 

Ratchet cut right to the chase. "I need a class V field nanoscope, with magnetic containment and full genomic sequencing interface. Also a case of tri-hexal coolant and 50 units of med-grade energon. Shipped to my clinic" he states while processing his payment to the bot. 

Swindle's visor glinted as he perused inventory.  "I've also got some...shall we say, off-protocol hardware. Stuff no self-respecting medic would keep on their official ledger." 

The Chief Medical Officer's optics narrowed. What exactly was Swindle suggesting? While he wouldn't put anything past the seedy dealer, Ratchet had no interest in anything illegal or unethical. Still, sometimes one had to play the game to get what they needed. "Show me what you've got."

Their transaction goes as normal, his stockpile set and ready for transport. But the sound of small cries in the market. It has Ratchet  turning to try and locate the sound. More cries echo as shouting of bids echo out from a corner. Ratchet's audio receptors zeroed in on the distressed cries, and what he heard made his fuel run cold. Pushing past other mechs, he hurried toward the commotion and spotted the disturbing scene unfolding - a small human had been tossed from the fight ring like so much garbage, directly into harm's way. 

“useless little frag, I spent good shanix on you and your worthless” the bot growls out. 

Without hesitation, Ratchet leapt forward and caught the bot before he could stomp the  limp form of the small organic. He whirled on the perpetrator with a snarl. "What in the Pits do you think you're doing?!" 

Shoving the mech back, Ratchet knelt and gently scooped the injured human into his servos cradling them to his chest, his optics flared with barely contained rage. The other bot vents out but ignores Ratchet. “Keep the little scraplet it's worthless.” He huffs as he downs another cube of engex. “Swindle I'd get out of here for a while” Ratchet warns, it doesn't take much for the con to get the hint. “Pleasure doing business As always Ratchet” he states. 

Ratchet strode from the Alley, carefully shielding the human as he contacted an Enforcer unit. The human curls in on themself more making themself as small as possible in Ratchet's servos. They don't move much while Ratchet makes his way back to his clinic. “Shhh it's Alright, settle down ill get you taken care of” he tries to settle them as he begins unlocking the door to the clinic. His optics trace over them.  

Heavy sobs leave their small frame. Ratchet watched helplessly as the terrified human struggled in vain to escape his servos, Their fear and anguish tore at his spark. All he wanted was to help, He placed them gently on the medberth and remained crouched down, making himself as unintimidating as possible. On his shoulder, Ratchet pointed to the bright Cross emblazoned across his plating - the symbol of medical care and protection. But the human showed no sign of understanding.

“Please settle, I am a doctor, I'm going to check your injuries” he tries to explain while using his servos. But with the language barrier he had no way to convey that. 

Realising his words most likely sounded like static crackles, Ratchet instead used his Em field pulses to try to calm them but it just made them shrink away in fear.  Ratchet muttered and grumbled to himself as he dug through crates of old data chips and software modules. "Fragging Primus, where did I leave that translation suite?" he growled. "Probably tossed it with the last lot of broken junk I cleared out of here."

He upended another crate, sending chips scattering across the floor. His field pulsed with irritation. "Should have all the common dialects downloaded - but does anyone think to update them? Of course not!"

Sifting through the pile, Ratchet let loose a string of curses. "Pit-spawned, rust-eating, glitch-headed pile of... aha!" He held up an ancient-looking chip in triumph. "About fragging time, you piece of scrap." 

Popping it into his chip port, Ratchet ran initialization and compatibility protocols. After a minute, a handful of human languages lit up in his HUD along with helpful translation matrices. He vented in relief. 

"Alright little one, let me try this…”

“ Can you understand me now? I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." His voice was gentle once more. They continue staring at him half scared. Ratchet slowly filtered through the different Earth languages via his new translation software, trying each one to see if any would trigger recognition in the fearful human. 

//Can you understand me now?// Ratchet repeated gently. //I found an old program that allows me to talk to humans. I mean you no harm. I only wish to help treat your injuries.//

He kept his motions slow and unthreatening, hands open and palms up. //This place is a clinic. I am a doctor - my designation is Ratchet. Please, let me scan you and apply medical dressings. You are safe here, I promise. I will not let any harm come to you while under my care.//

Optics dimmed with compassion, Ratchet waited patiently for a response. He hoped reassuring words and this breakthrough in communication would help begin to win the traumatised human's tentative trust.

They move forward slightly, eyes trained on Ratchet. "How...?" They choke out almost shocked, they begin shaking lightly as they sit there panicking. Ratchet responded with patience and care to the little human's distress. "It's alright, try to relax. I know this must be frightening, but you're safe now." 

"I have translation software that allows me to understand many Earth languages. It took some digging, but I finally found an old data chip with yours among its databases. I'm Chief Medical Officer - communicating with patients is essential to my function, no matter their origin."

Keeping his voice low and modulated, Ratchet continued, "I need to assess your injuries, little one. May I scan you? It will not hurt, I promise. The scans will let me see if anything is damaged internally so I can treat you properly." 

They give a small nod not trusting their voice. Stasis cuffs, bandages, and other medical tools were scattered throughout the clinic. It doesn't settle the human but they sit There twitching as Ratchet slowly works on checking them. 

 Sitting there as tears slowly leak down their face. "Are you going to make me fight again?" They trumble under his touch, his cold digits against their skin have them almost running but they stick to their spot as Ratchet slowly cleans wounds on their back.   Ratchet's optics softened at the fresh tears. "Primus, no," he said gently. "Fighting is the last thing I want you to do." 

They continue sitting there half naked as Ratchet stitches their injuries, flinching each time his cold digits touch them and each time the needle threads thought their skin, the numbing agent helped prevent the pain but not the frightful reaction.

"I apologise for any discomfort," he states as he begins cleaning off the blood that had dried to their skin. "My hands were not made for such delicate work. But I will be as quick and careful as possible."

True to his word, Ratchet efficiently assessed and wrapped each injury with utmost precision. Cleaning up as he goes, the cold air of the clinic eventually gets the best of the nervous human as they shiver and shake. "There, all finished. You did very well,." His tone was soothing as velvet. 

He grabs a heavy thermal rag,tucking it gently around the human's shivering form. "Stay warm now. Rest, you are safe." 

Their eyes continue to watch him as Ratchet goes about checking other clients as they slowly begin filtering in and out of the clinic, even in their tired state they don't dare sleep, constantly watching the medic. It's only when the medications slowly take effect that they slump back against the table. 

______________

Taglist: @angelxcvxc

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[mixelation]

oh yeah i also wrote some of the fall out of the chunin exams from minato's pov

the [...] marks an unwritten scene or two lmao

***

Minato looked at the genin’s report first thing in the morning, opening it even before his assistant brought him coffee. 

He was surprised it was in Tori’s handwriting and not Itachi’s. Itachi had always been picky about reports (and everything else anyone might do), and Minato often found his notes even on subordinates’ individual reports. Surely Itachi hadn’t told Tori to do the report. But the alternative also seemed strange. Who could convince Itachi not to at least write his own notes?

The format was also non-standard, but Minato didn’t mind it. Tori had somehow condensed the entire mission into a single page, front and back, with important events succinctly outlined in a logical, easy-to-read flow. To this page she’d stapled twenty-seven pages of what seemed to be notes on the conversation they’d had to produce this report, which were more detailed but not in an order that was easy for an outsider to follow. 

The contents of the report turned out to be insane. 

Minato had talked in length with Kushina about her version of events. He knew the details of the actual exam, their plan and Iwa’s eventual attack. He knew that, somehow, Itachi would end up rescuing Kushina alone while Tori and Deidara had gone after Morino. He knew what Itachi had deemed important for him to know immediately, which was that Tori had elected to make several decisions to manipulate Konoha’s international relations. 

He had assumed the way they’d accomplished these things would be wild. He’d somehow underestimated how wild. 

For one thing, apparently Deidara had fought the Tsuchikage. This was stated very matter-of-factly in the middle of a paragraph with no particular fanfare, and made Minato choke on his coffee. 

There weren’t even any supplementary notes about this fact. Deidara had barged into the Tsuchikage’s box, screamed to a bunch of foreign dignitaries about Iwa kidnapping his sensei while everyone was distracted by the tournament, and then he’d fought the Tsuchikage. That was it. No further comment. 

Deidara had also done this with enough skill to then leave the battle site in sufficient chaos that no one had been able to immediately follow him. This at least had detail; Deidara had simply broken enough of the building that the Tsuchikage’s guard he hadn’t killed needed all hands on deck to save their important foreign visitors from its imminent collapse. 

Jiraiya had linked Deidara to a lot of destroyed structures– and buildings which were only partially destroyed in very sophisticated, calculated ways– but what the fuck. Deidara was eleven. A team of Iwa demolition experts couldn’t pull that off nearly as cleanly. 

Part of Minato’s assumptions had been that Tori and Deidara had stayed together. Tori was extremely clever, and probably much more talented in fuuinjutsu than she let on, but she was very demonstrably not well-skilled in combat, and she’d shut down her own chakra in a last-ditch effort to stave off her own poisoning. That she would stick to a more combat-oriented person in a support role had been her MO as long as Minato had known her. 

This, it turned out, was an incorrect assumption to the degree that Minato wasn’t even really sure how Tori had accomplished what she had. She had… simply walked into Iwa T&I, if he was reading this correctly. The report simply said she’d “infiltrated it through the back door.” Her supplemental notes clarified she’d done this via “the super secret jutsu of being twelve and unintimidating.” Then she’d called on a random T&I employee that she described as “looking slightly confused about his job (you know the type)” and convinced him they were meant to be relocating prisoners to help her move Morino. 

These… these were not normal infiltration tactics. Minato had no idea what she was talking about. 

At least with Itachi, Minato knew he was one of Konoha’s best and brightest. Minato would never order him to infiltrate a place by himself, but he understood how he’d done it with ample abuse of genjutsu and murder. He didn’t understand how Itachi had known where Kushina would be, and this was never commented on, but this question was extremely low priority. 

Minato called back in his assistant and asked for a second coffee, and for her to schedule an all-day meeting the next day with Team 4 and some of Konoha’s leadership. 

He probably wouldn’t keep everyone there all day. But he wanted everyone available. 

The rest of his day was spent in more meetings on the Iwa fiasco. Morino was stable and talking, which pleased him. Tori’s report was copied and passed around to various offices for record-keeping and analysis, to see if anyone could divine Iwa’s motives and goals from their actions. 

Shikaku sauntered into his debriefing with Minato with a copy in his hand. 

“What the fuck is this?” he said, waving it. 

“Team 4 is… resilient under stress?” Minato tried. 

“More like Team Disaster,” Shikaku snorted, then dropped into a chair across from Minato. 

Minato liked Shikaku. He’d call them work friends, maybe, as much as a Kage and his subordinate could be work friends. Shikaku was several years older and had usually been stationed in different parts of the war from Minato, but their sons were the same age, and Shikaku was always open for commiseration about the joys and challenges of fatherhood. Minato didn’t really get invited to afterwork events, but sometimes when they were both working late, Shikaku would show up with a couple beers and a few moments of friendly chat. 

Today Shikaku’s friendly observation was, “Do you think they’re lying?”

Minato stared at him, nonplussed. “About what?”

Shikaku slapped the papers he was holding with the back of his free hand. “All of it. Some of it. It’s pretty unbelievable. A team of our best Jounin couldn’t pull this off.”

Minato frowned down at the original report, laid out on his desk. It did… well, it had occurred to him that some of Tori and Deidara’s parts, which neither Kushina nor Itachi had witnessed personally, might be exaggerated. 

“Itachi was with them when Tori wrote the report,” Minato said finally. “He wouldn’t put up with a story he didn’t find believable.”

“He’s a genius, but he’s still only thirteen,” Shikaku said. “I’m not saying it’s likely. I’m saying it’s possible. Both Inoichi and I agree you didn’t do enough to vet those two.”

Minato sighed and leaned back in his seat. They’d been over this. He, too, would have liked to vet Tori and Deidara more and give them a longer probation period, but he’d also needed them for this mission. 

“Let’s assume it’s a true and fair report of events for today,” Minato said at length. “I’ll let you and Inoichi grill them to your hearts’ content tomorrow.”

Sikaku raised his eyebrows. “And grill them I will,” he promised. “Fighting the Tsuchikage and his guard in close combat? Being twelve no jutsu? C’mon.”

They moved onto what Minato actually wanted Shikaku to talk about. It was unclear what Iwa’s motive was, or what their plan had been, if any, and for how long they’d been planning it. Their many, many analyses of Iwa’s movements and communications leading up to the chunin exam had borne no major red flags.

Tori’s report had made the astute observation that the window for synthesizing and then implementing the chakra poison before it broke down was quite narrow. Iwa would have had to produce it all during the week prior to the tournament, which meant there was some advanced planning, but they theoretically could have made these plans after Team 4 had arrived. 

“They would have had to arrange all the equipment and ingredients too,” Shikaku pointed out. “That would have taken months.”

“Unless they already had it for other reasons,” Minato said. This idea, unfortunately, raised a bunch of other questions about why. 

“True,” Shikaku replied. “But they’ve never used it before, and we have no intel on what they might need it for that they couldn’t get some other, less convoluted way.”

Shikaku had also gone through the reports on the exam itself, both the half-page Tori had dedicated to it and Kushina’s sprawling initial report she’d penned while babbling to Minato about how she was okay, she promised.

“There’s at least four places I believe an assassination was attempted,” Shikaku concluded. “Your Team Disaster just… didn’t notice, somehow.”

“Oh,” Minato said. He… also hadn’t noticed. 

“The first is during the second phase of the chunin exam,” Shikaku said. “Kushina-san states that Tori was attacked by six other participants.”

“Oh,” Minato repeated, now seeing the problem. This had really been a blip on his radar too; Kushina had not expended an ounce of concern for her weakest student. This detail had only made it into the report as an example of Tori making friends immediately with a Kiri-nin in line for the Seven Swordsmen. 

But no, actually, they had split up the Konoha genin and sent them off with inadequate weapons. This would have seemed immediately suspicious and unfair, if only it had slowed any of the genin down remotely. 

“If I’m right that they were assassination attempts, the earlier attempts are sloppy,” Shikaku observed. “They might have been less well planned. A rushed decision, maybe.”

“Why?” Minato asked. 

Shikaku stared at him meaningfully. “You waltzed one of their pet project kids right in there and said he was yours.”

Well. 

“That reason doesn’t explain the poison synthesis,” Minato said finally. 

“True,” Shikaku agreed. “It’s not the best theory. But we don’t have a best theory yet.”

The last item they discussed was the one that gave Minato the most anxiety. 

“The reason they chose chakra poisoning…” he started. The main reason villages had started trying to stock it during the war was that it was one of the very few ways to reliably take down a jinchuriki. 

Shikaku let out a long, tired breath. 

“We’ve had no known intelligence breeches on Kushina-san,” he said finally. “My current theory is that because she’s a wildcard and all they really knew was that she has high chakra reserves, they wanted something guaranteed to work. But I have no way to verify this.”

“I get Jiraiya on it,” Minato decided. 

The Tsuchikage’s communication on the matter arrived by hawk late in the evening, which was about the fastest turnaround time Minato could have expected. 

Minato was, at least, in a decent mood when he received it. Kushina had brought Naruto and a home cooked meal up to the office for dinner, and he’d had a good forty-five minutes of laughter and a good-bye kiss from his wife. Shikaku hadn’t come by with a beer, but Akimichi Chouza’s wife had sent a tin of sweet sticky rice treats up to the other two thirds of Shika-Ino-Cho, also working late on this, and a couple of them had ended up on Minato’s desk. 

The Tsuchikage’s letter was brief. He did not mention Kushina at all, offering no apology, explanation, or even acknowledgement his village had done anything to her. Instead, he wrote condolences for Minato’s out of control team and forgiveness for their incredible feats of property damage. 

As an act of good faith, we will not request monetary compensation for said damages, only that your team be appropriately disciplined, the Tsuchikage’s secretary had written. We do request an international statement from you, disavowing the heinous and untruthful lies your genin chose to shout at our guests in what we could only assume was a poorly considered prank. 

Damages listed all but outright admitted that Deidara had indeed personally attacked the Tsuchikage and then sauntered off largely unharmed. Minato couldn’t help it. He laughed. 

What the fuck?

xXx

[...]

xXx

Two things of note happened the following week. 

One, the Mizukage sent him a letter, penned by her own hand. 

I have heard a terrible rumor, which if true, we in Kiri find most sympathetic, the letter started. Further down the page, she continued, Of course, Kiri must discourage any unnecessary retaliation, especially given… [here, Terumi Mei listed a non-exhaustive list of six different post-war treaties] …but know that should this escalate, Kiri is ready to honor its alliance, if we find this rumor to be true. 

Terumi Mei then requested Konoha’s official statement in a tone that Minato would venture to call gossipy, and hinted that she wanted to know if he wanted her to contact the Tsuchikage or not. She’d left a lipstick print next to the Mizukage seal, which… Minato was not going to unpack. 

Their alliance with Kiri wasn’t especially strong. Kiri had switched their allegiance from the Konoha-Suna side to Iwa-Kumo midway through the war; they’d only negotiated from a peace agreement up to something more like an “alliance” when Terumi Mei had taken over. Their shinobi still regularly clashed along the border, and all their alliance meant was that Minato and Mei just sort of politely looked away and didn’t escalate. On top of that, one of the post-war agreements, as insisted upon by the leader of Ame who’d strong-armed his way into negotiations last moment, was that no shinobi village could enter into an alliance which would require them to join another village’s declaration of war. In other words, an “alliance” didn’t mean Kiri would fight with them, or even lift a finger for them, should the need come. 

But it was probably the most positive letter he’d ever gotten from another Kage. 

Kiri’s support was also, notably, not something Oonoki seemed to believe Konoha had achieved in his communications. This was a definite win for them. 

Nice job, Tori, Minato thought. 

Then he buried his face in his hands at the thought. No. Tori could never find out that had worked the way she’d thought it would, or else she would interpret this as carte blanche to do whatever she wanted. 

The second thing that happened threw their entire intelligence department for a loop. 

He received a letter, not by hawk, but in the form of an animated, flying paper crane. It landed on his desk and then just sat there while his entire ANBU guard descended upon it. Minato was shuffled out of his office while a total of ten experts verified it was safe to touch. 

Eventually, someone unfolded the paper to discover it was a letter. 

Ame has uncovered some information you might find interesting, a feminine hand had written. We invite you to visit to talk it over. Attach one of your Hiraishin to this paper and come by whenever you wish. 

Under it she’d written: 

You may bring whoever you like. Your Team 4 seems interesting, for example. 

“There’s no way that’s not a trap,” Shikaku said when Minato read it outloud. “Definitely don’t do that.”

Shikaku was right. No one in their right mind would invite Minato to send in a Hiraishin marker. Still, Minato pouted about it to Kushina in bed. 

“No one ever invites me,” he complained. Hiruzen had visited other villages plenty of times. Other Kage regularly got to go show up for Chunin Exams, at the very least. But nooo, everyone politely suggested he just send a representative, because he was the scary guy who’d just plant markers to break in again whenever he wanted and kill everyone or whatever they thought would happen. 

“I wouldn’t plant a Hiraishin marker on an ally,” Minato said. 

Kushina looked up from her second attempt to get through the most recent Icha Icha. 

“Yes, you would,” she said bluntly. 

Minato pouted some more.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

continuing with my mindless input on cowboy reader.

I picture him being pretty tall, and obviously people can think he's a scary guy at first glance, so i think he tries to dress unintimidating or even cuddly so that people always think he's 'huggable' - that's his goal at least. particularly the team, i think he so badly wants to be somebody they can lean on or ask for help.

-🦕 anon

Sooo most of this was already written (very sorry its quite short), but I've not written in a few months but hopefully its still okay. Hope you like it!

Description: JJ thinks cowboy looks huggable.

Tags: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @wizardmon3 @aphroditeslovr @ducks118 @azeal-peal @13thdoctor-run @introvertpan84 @goth-boi-atlas @iliketozoneout @chaosofmanyfandoms @logicalhorror @luvfornick @prmsn-17

The first time they had seen you out of your work attire, they were shocked. You stood dressed in an oversized t-shirt with a picture of you and Buddy cuddling and a pair of shorts. You had your usual cowboy hat on, but with running shoes. You didn't usually dress like this outside of work, but Ava had begged you to sleep over at the shelter, saying how badly she wanted a slumber party and you couldn't exactly say no - especially when she told you she had never had one before.

So you had agreed, dressed in your usual work attire after work - joggers, t-shirt, running shoes, and a cowboy hat. You made sure you brought your pajamas with you (the shorts and t-shirt with you and Buddy on). When it was about an hour after Ava's bedtime, you all went to bed, you sleeping on a sleeping bag you had brought with you.

When you woke up, however, your clothes were missing. Some of the kids had decided to wake up early and hide your clothes with smiles and hushed giggles.

You didn't mind, of course, they had never had a sleepover, so they were all excited. However, you got a call from Hotch saying you had a case - a child abduction, and you had to get there within the hour. You explained the situation to the kids, trying to reassure them when you saw the panic on their faces.

"T's okay, kiddos, where are my clothes?"

"We can't find them," Ava said, eyes widening.

"That's okay, where was the last place you saw them?"

You watch as the kids all share confused looks, Ava's eyes starting to water, "W-we checked everywhere already!" Ava sniffed, "We looked everywhere! We put them under a cushion but they're not there!"

You give a small smile, trying to calm her down, "T's okay, kiddo, I don't mind goin' ta work like this," You grin slightly and Ava sniffs again, wiping her eyes.

"M sorry,"

You give a gentle sigh, more worried about the state she's gotten herself into as you pull her into a soft embrace. "Nah, don't worry about it,"

Half an hour later, you rocked up to the bullpen, still (technically) in your pajamas. You hadn't had time to go home to grab some new clothes, especially with the deadline Hotch had given you. So you'd just have to change into an outfit from your duffel bag.

"What on Earth..." Morgan grinned, seeing you walk in wearing a pair on shorts and a t-shirt with you and Buddy - what with the boots and the cowboy hat, it was quite a sight.

"Don't even ask," You huffed a small laugh, rubbing the back of your neck. Making your way over to your desk, you grab your duffle bag.

"Oh, no, we have to ask," Penelope grins, "We can't not ask,"

You place the hat on your desk as you grab your duffel bag. "I went for a sleepover at the shelter I volunteer at. The kids thought it would be funny to hide my clothes," You grin slightly, "Then the rascals forgot where they hid 'em,"

Morgan gives a small chuckle as Emily gives you a smirk.

"It's a good look for you, Cowboy," JJ gave you a smile, looking you up and down. "You look huggable,"

You felt your cheeks tint a light pink and you turn to her, rolling your eyes gently. "Yeah, yeah,"

"I'm just saying," She let her eyes flick up and down once more. "It suits you." She raised her cup of coffee (to hide her own blush) before taking a sip. Your jaw dropped slightly as JJ walked off. Morgan clapped a hand on your shoulder.

"Even in your pj's you've still got game."