#vespertilius

[ky-rar]

This video was recommended to me today and I watched it out of curiosity. Honestly I think this is one of the best advice videos for adults who want to get (back) into art I've seen and it only has around 400 views right now. So I thought I'd share it on my art blog that at least has a couple followers.

If you've ever wanted to try to get into art but felt intimidated or don't know where to start I really recommend it. Even if you are an artist I think some of the exercises she gives at the end might be a fun to do to get out of an art block or help when you feel like you're stuck.

[s-dei]

[OC] local Illidari mcfkers are very gay

[septemberfire]

It Rains

A Severus Snape Fanfic

Severus/Original Character

Romance/Slowburn/Smut

A Childhood Memory

Cold seeped in through the door and windows of the last house on Spinner’s End. The overcast sky merged with the blackened snow caused by the perpetual cloud of smoke that came from the factory chimney and the constant coming and going of its humble inhabitants. That Boxing Day morning, Severus found his mother sleeping with her head resting on the rickety kitchen table, next to her an empty bottle of sherry and the plates still containing he remains of the Christmas dinner that she had taken pains to prepare with the few ingredients she could afford. The plate served at the head of the table was untouched and cold. Despite the ramshackle tinsel tree that had been donated years ago by the town parish and the paper garlands little Severus had spent making the day before, the house looked dingy and unkempt; just as unkempt was the appearance of the child who at that moment sat in front of the window and amused himself by drawing figures with the mist of his breath against the dirty pane.

“Mummy, Dad´s coming!” - He yelled when he saw the tall, stocky figure of his father staggering down the narrow street.

Eileen sat up slowly and looked scornfully at the mess on the table and the pots and pans waiting in the tiny kitchen sink. She averted her eyes from Severus who had risen to his feet and ran to the door, opening it and letting in a chilly wind that carried with it the acrid smell of coal smoke.

“Close the door.”

“But Dad´s about to come.”

“I'm telling you to close the damn door!” - Eileen's voice cut off and she ended up letting out a sob. - “Close it, Severus. Please.”

Severus gulped in fear. His mother had never yelled at him like that. He looked once more at his father who had leaned against one of the streetlights and was vomiting in the middle of the street. The little boy felt the urge to go to his father's aid, but even before he could open the door far enough to get out, a sudden force made the door slam shut, almost knocking it off its hinges. Severus turned his gaze to his mother who had stood up and was pointing with what looked to him like a thin twig.

“Your father already knows. Now it is time that you also learn why you are so different from the other children.”

Eileen walked over to her son and knelt beside him putting her eyes on the same level as the six-year-old's. She took his face with her hands and breathed hard trying not to break her voice, trying to hide her anger and anxiety. Growing up, Eileen never imagined that one day she would feel so much regret having to explain to her son the reason for his powers and his magic. Hailing from an ancient pureblood family, the magical ability that her son Severus had shown to possess from such a young age was something to be extremely proud of.  She bit her lip at the thought of her own father, Vespertilius Prince, who had died cursing the name of his youngest daughter on his deathbed upon learning that she had run off with a despicable Muggle, the son of the owner of a miserable pub near his land. Surely, if her father were still alive, he would appreciate and encourage the abilities and skills of his only grandson, even if he were a half-blood.

“Mum, is that why you don't let me go to school anymore?  Because I am different?”

Eileen angrily recalled the blows that Severus had come home with after his first day at the muggle school Tobias had insisted he go to, the children attacked him when they saw how he caused some bugs to grow disproportionately and then made them dance on the playground.

“You're a wizard, Sevy.  Like your grandfather and your great-grandfather.  Like all my family.  A wizard like in the fairy tales”.

Severus narrowed his eyes, looking suspiciously at his mother.  He turned away from her and went to sit by the window again, hugging his legs and fixing the gaze on his threadbare socks from where the tip of his toe was poking out.

“You're lying. Wizards don't exist, just like Father Christmas. They are not real.”

Eileen wiped her nose with her hand and stood up, ready to reveal her son why she insisted on keeping him isolated from the muggle world, why she had kept the secret of his magic even from her own husband.

“This is a magic wand.” -Eileen sat next to her son, at the same time that she passed him her thin chestnut wood wand. – “Don't be afraid, shake it.”

Severus took it and closed his eyes in fear as he shook the wand with a sharp movement. A wild blaze of bluish fire engulfed the hideous tinsel tree that began to melt over the dirty carpet and fill the room with poisonous gases. Eileen quickly took the wand from Severus' shaking hand who was staring at the flames with an expression of deep dread on his face. Whispering a couple of incantations, the flames died down and the black smoke immediately vanished.

“I hated that rubbish tree too.” -She said hinting a smile and hugging her son who was still trembling. - “I'm very proud of you, Sevy. One day when you turn 11, you will have your own wand and you will go to a very special school where you will learn everything about our world, but you should never talk about this with anyone. Can you promise it? Other people would not understand it, they fear us, they despise and fear what they cannot understand.”

“Is Dad a wizard too?”

“No, he's not like us… he's scared too, Sevy. Try not to mention any of this when he comes back ... and try not to do magic in front of him, I know it will be difficult to control it, but you are such a smart boy ...”

A loud knock on the door announced the arrival of Tobias, who stumbled upon entering the room and looked with watery and reddish eyes at the mess on the table, the remains of the burned tree and his wife and son hugging by the window.

“Come here, son.” - He said as he staggered towards them and yanked little Severus out of his mother's arms. Picking him up with his huge hands and hugging him tightly as he sobbed, soaking his sweater in gunk and tears. - “You are a good boy, Severus. You are not a freak… You are not a freak.”

Without quite understanding why, Severus burst into tears on his father's shoulder as well, inhaling the scent of alcohol and the acrid smell of winter that had clung to his coat.

[onlyascholar]

Define sacred.

Put a "Define ______" in my ask to hear how they learned that concept.

Sacred. Sacred... that was a word they used in Astrula, constantly. The city itself was sacred. The prayers, the high oculus, seers and clairvoyants, the oaths sworn daily, the priests’ magic circles, they were all sacred. The duties of the King of Terra were sacred. The King of Terra himself was sacred, chosen by the All-Seeing Eye to lead Terra’s people. He was sacred, you know that, you agree with that, but not for the reasons the priests said.

[arbiteriii]

♡ + morality

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon. (or just hmu with the word eitherway) ;;

Ooooooh this one’s really good because it’s prolly the most important aspect of his character ithink.

So his moral compass might look pretty simple on the offset, but if you dig deep enough you might find he’s got a convoluted structure of often contradicting thought patterns that can either help him or stall him in deciding on the right action. I think the best way of talking about this is to look back at the first DEE model android, DEE himself. 

DEE was, as Professor Judy J. Hynes had designed him, programmed in such a way that he could comprehend moralistic values, as well as ethics in culture, manner, and character. Empathy plays a huge role in this. It’s as simple as:

- It’s tempting to throw these red hot coals in this person’s face, but that might hurt them and they might get upset and making people hurt and upset is bad so I won’t do it- that person is injured and crying and it makes me feel bad so I want to help them.- and so on

DEE himself had to learn the difference between right and wrong from the moment he was first activated, and it was easy for him because he had indicators for what made him feel bad and what made him feel good. Along with other features, this was a groundbreaking new achievement in robotics and it earned him the original title of ‘Arbiter’. Because of DEE, many people were saved back in his time.

Now THIS DEE model android... the one we’re stuck with... had the moral values uploaded into his brain as a sort of stock information, along with the others of his model. Over time, living alone, with all the others gone rogue, and just the motherchip and himself to protect, these predetermined values came into question a lot, and he picked them apart and tried to decide in himself whether they were even of any use. Better yet, he was questioning the by-the-book ethics even before the virus. It was another of those things that he considered stupid and prefabricated. Either way, had he stopped too long to consider if hurting others would make him feel bad, he wouldn’t have survived for as long as he did. A very oldschool fight-or-flight reaction kicked in, and that’s what saved him. 

Now what helped him decide the entire world’s fate and make that killswitch for all the technology there was... not a simple thing. It took a long time of thinking, trying to decide if the rogue droids had no recollection of their past selves, whether or not he had also gone rogue, what any of it MATTERED and so on. It was a tough decision. Equally so, he’d had to pause and think before saving and keeping the motherchip. Regardless of his discontent towards the thought that he might have ‘personal’ anything, his reasons for keeping the motherchip were entirely personal, free of ethic standards. 

At the end of the day though, he’s constantly questioning his own past and future choices. He doesn’t know whether or not he actually DID the right thing, not to mention whether he should discard the motherchip or keep it or find a way to get it a replacement simulator. And he doesn’t know if his next big choice will actually have any gravity. He hopes not. ...Not that he believes his hopes are real.

[s-dei]

My entry for OCHanami on Twitter. Them....

[arbiteriii]

♡ + solitude

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon. (or just hmu with the word eitherway) ;;

He has more experience with solitude than company, honestly. Even before the virus, he lived alone in his flat, didn’t interact with other droids much, and generally just kept to himself as much as he possibly could. It’s probably because he didn’t share the same optimistic ideology that the rest had. His taboo, cynic beliefs and unsociable personality rendered him genuinely unapproachable in that community.

Even now, he’s quite unapproachable. It would be no surprise if someone got sick of his stoic attitude fast. And it’s not like he welcomes travel companions with open arms, either. Oftentimes they’re just… there. And he either goes with them or ignores their presence. It’s not like he avoids people or dislikes them. It’s just that eehhhhhh it doesn’t seem to matter. Companionship has yet to be a necessary factor to him.

[originskuja]

sends u the symbol that wont show up c:

Send me a ⚜ and I will introduce you to a subordinate (supportive) character involved in my muse's life! 

Safira

She was just a small mouse of a girl when they first crossed paths - thirteen years old and scrawny for her age, a slave from the desert city of Kiera with just a pinch of magic ability.  Two years on the road had delivered little improvement: fifteen now, still little more than a slip of a girl, quick to drop her grey-eyed gaze and slow to raise her voice.

Magic still eluded her - drawing from her own power was impossible, casting magic on her was impossible, yet she could draw power from others.  Even the king, with his growing magical capabilities, could offer no explanation.

“She’s special,” was all Neirin could offer, shrugging as if it didn’t concern him.  “She’s unlike anything we know of on the mother continent.”

For herself, Safira could offer little more - “I’m not meant to wield magic,” she said quietly, staring at her feet.  Kuja towered over her; he was certain he’d seen the top of her head more often than he’d seen her look up at him.  “I’m not meant to wield magic, and my... ability... is a corruption.”

“You’re not corrupted.”  That would be the rest of us: corrupted.

She shook her head, tugging anxiously on her hair.  “I’m not supposed to have magic, or why can’t I wield it as King Neirin does?  As any mage does?”

“Maybe Neirin’s right.  Maybe you are special.”

“And maybe,” she said, unwilling to be comforted.  “I’m corrupted after all.”

[s-dei]

vesp my son :в

[arbiteriii]

♡ + conflict

Send me ♡ + a word, and I’ll write a headcanon. (or just hmu with the word eitherway) ;;

Instinct, or rather programming that mimics instinct, tells him to try and reason first with those who cause conflict, whether through violence or otherwise. But he quickly learned that in order to survive he had to crush that ‘instinct’ and replace it instead with reactive violence in turn, as the environment he was forced to survive in made it impossible for ‘reason’ to be of any use.

Because of this, he’s had a difficult time adjusting to a lifestyle in which attackers can be reasoned with. It makes him hesitant in his actions at times, which could cost him dearly. 

Otherwise, he has little no experience with emotional or social conflict. What little he’s had has always been within himself, so oftentimes he’ll take to hanging back and watch while others deal with their dilemmas amongst themselves. Give him time, and maybe he’ll be able to pitch in to an argument with factual statements and analogies. I guess you could say he’s too shy and insecure in himself to do it quite yet.

[originskuja]

vespertilius

“Are those wings of yours just for show, or can you actually fly?”

[alekhinesthrone-blog]

♠, ☾, ☼, ✖, and ♕ :>

♠, ☾, & ☼ answered

✖ - How do they handle rejection? ;;

To be honest, it takes a certain kind of rejection to actuallyupset him for real. He could probably deal with being told,“I’d rather be friends” perfectly well. As long as you stillacknowledge his existence, it’s A-OK.

But if you were to, say, stop acknowledging him entirely?Never speak to him again? Look away when you’re passinghim, and just treat it like he doesn’t even EXIST? That’sthe kind of ‘rejection’ he can’t handle, and that would be theultimate form of betrayal to him.

You don’t want to see him when he’s felt betrayed like that. You really don’t. It’s not pretty. If you want a vivid imageof Coolidge after being brushed off as if he were nothing atall, imagine him stopping and STANDING there, staringafter said person even long after they’re gone;; and heprobably won’t move on. He’ll stay in that spot, pretty muchparalyzed, maybe he’ll eventually sit after a few hours (no,it doesn’t matter WHERE he is), and then maybe he’ll laydown.Or imagine if the person is RIGHT THERE, completely ignoringhim, he’ll do the last thing he’d ever want to do: try talking.He’d really be trying. Struggling. Freaking out about it, too.Maybe even making frustrated croaking noises, tugging onhis hair, choking, and even crying his eyes out becausehe DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Worst case scenario–hemightstartstranglinghimself.Just– ….Yeah. Don’t— don’t do that. It’s scary and upsetting.

♕ - Do they trust easily? ;;

YES. And… no. He’s very adamant about who he ‘trusts’, but it’s easy towin him over just by BEING a certain way. He goes by the assumption that everyone has two sides to them;; the surface,which is kind of a mask and not entirely truthful, and theunderside, which is more true to their character. He actuallyhas gotten pretty good at figuring a person out just bywatching them, but sometimes he might uh… misinterpretsome people.

Take gruff people that cuss at strangers a lot for example.After meeting someone like that, he’ll come up with theidea that maybe they’re just trying to drive people awaybecause they’re insecure, or are actually good at heart and just don’t want to show it because they were told not to. He ADORES people like that to be honest, so seeing abig ol grumpy guy, he might just gravitate to them and wantto be pals. But that’s– not… always the case, and it mightget him in a lot of trouble some day.On the other hand, he knows the difference between forcedpersonalities and natural ones. If he sees someone that’sactually, undoubtedly being bad, he won’t hesitate to try andbeat them up, and he won’t show any mercy. He doesn’tlike to associate with actual jerks. Fake jerks are fine, butactual ones make him frown.