#vessel is a genius you can't change my mind

[amazzwon]

WHAT IS... HOME?

❜ ─ ─ ❛ lee heeseung x fem! reader

╰┈➤ ❝ [angst, non-idol au, one-sided love, friends to strangers]

╰┈➤ ❝ [0.8k words]

╰┈➤ ❝ [cherry blossom; lana del rey]

I was six feet under my thoughts as waited for her by "The Stone Cold" ice cream shop. As the glass entrance opened with customers pushing through, a waft of sweet air contrasted with the evening air. The grey scarf cloaking my neck itched and tickled me; it was a cold November. My breaths turned foggy and my nose dusted crimson. 

The cold was as harsh as the reality.

It had been a week since I revealed my truth to her. 

"If my name was a word then you are the meaning to it".

That's what I had said, my true being, my pure love, my final chance to prove to her; to tell her that I, Lee Heeseung, am in love with her.

"I-If you will have me," My voice had wobbled, "Meet me in front of our favourite spot at 8 pm?". 

I cringed at the memory. Had I sounded more mature, more manly, maybe then she would have given her answer at that moment.

A week passed but my hope did not. 

The first time, it did phase me... a lot. I remember being drenched in my sorrow and overflowing eyes that would not open (I changed pillow covers twice that day).

The second time, the ice cream shop owner offered me a free scoop (that melted in my hand cause I was too in my head). 

The third time, I took interest in the pebbles by the road and kicked them woefully; but there had been times when my head played games with me, begging me to look up to meet her eyes but she wasn't even there. 

The fourth time, I gazed at the clouds.

The fifth time, my heart began playing tricks on me, persuading me to go to her apartment complex; but I was a lover, not a serial killer.

The sixth time, I can't even remember anymore...

The neon pink, "The Stone Cold", sign flickered in contrast to the golden gleaming lamp posts. It looked ugly. The contrast, I meant. Coincidentally, so did my thoughts. The crowd brushed past me, rushing as if they had somewhere to be; that thought made me jealous.

Would she consider me to be a place worth running towards?

Time was ticking; the rush hour stalled. My feet prickled; the freezing temperature swept past me. I stood still; an empty vessel with heartbroken thoughts. The ice cream shop's sign glitched shut, and then the old man (the owner) walked out offering a sad smile at the sad case of a man in front of him. I could hear the man wobbling out of the scene but, my genius envisioned her footsteps approaching me. 

There you have it, another day spent on the woman so gorgeous, she turned me ugly with glum hope. My mind tugged me to text her, just one last time. I decided against it.

The buses continued their usual routes. It was a cheap option instead I chose to take me and my pathetic heart for a walk. I shouldn't have; I could have easily saved myself from the nightmares, the embarrassment, my dignity! Yet I watched with my chapped lips parted and eyes widened. She had her arm looped with another man. My eyes flitted from her to her man. Her man? ugh, that word itself made my soul churn.

He whispered something in her ear and she laughed as if she had no care in the world. How brutal could she be! They stood near the signal waiting to cross the road... so she did have a place to rush towards but couldn't she at least stop by to reject me?

Oh no, it was worse. I was the other man... 

I collected the few shards of my heart and I turned around with heavy eyes. Walking briskly, I couldn't gaze straight, too stunned to look up anymore. At least, I had memorised the path home. I decided that home was my place to be... but no.

As soon as I thought of home, she flashed across my mind. Her smile, her warmth; she was my sunlight and she was my shade. My walking speed turned obsolete and my vision was hazy. I should have known better than to have such a tremendous amount of longing, I could have spared it to face the world.

Maybe she saw it. She noticed my blind faith, she noticed my unfortunate state of being under her spell and left me to my thoughts. They weren't any better.

I approached my home... oh god, I want to find another word to call the place I rest... 

my hand shoved in my pocket to fish out my keys

a warm place... 

I finally felt the cold metal ring and pinched the correct key.

a place to laugh...

I tried to connect it to the keyhole but I missed

a place where I could love...

 I missed again

a place... where I would stop missing her

The first tear fell before I could even enter my house; the place as cold as November. 

[deconstructthesoup]

So, this is inspired by @tai-janai's new Slay the Poet AU, where LQ has to rescue the Narrator and is being guided by Shifty. I saw their idea post, and my brain demanded that I put my own spin on it, so... yeah. Go check out their AU, though, it's probably gonna be better than mine and it actually has drawings.

I've already typed out the overarching plot (tldr, Shifty's the player and LQ is the "guide," and Narry is a professor who's trapped in a library in an abandoned city), but here's what I think the Narrator's chapter 2 vessels would be like:

The Wizard: You get the Wizard if you don't go into the library's basement with the knife, you make the decision to free the Professor, and you resist when the Guide makes the desperate choice to take over your body (while repeatedly apologizing over and over in your mind). The Wizard is unflinchingly kind and has that classic Disney-fairytale whimsy about him, and will always encourage you no matter what you do---and is the only one who undoubtedly means you no harm. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Apprentice, who believes that the Professor is a learned and wise soul who can teach us everything, and we must listen to him.

The Warlock: You get the Warlock if you don't go into the library's basement with the knife, make him think you're going to free him, and kill him---either via getting the knife or letting the Guide take you over and winning the ensuing struggle. The Warlock is a slightly draconic being who is devious and cunning, but very clearly bitter towards you, and there's no doubt that he's thirsting for revenge. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Charming, who uses flattery and deceit to get her way, and encourages you to do the same to the Professor---after all, we did it once, and we can do it again, can't we?

The Creation: You get the Creation if you immediately kill the Professor, attempt to leave and fail (which causes the Guide to panic, saying that this wasn't how it was supposed to happen and he doesn't know what's wrong), and kill yourself once you see no other way out. The Creation is a stitched-up, reanimated corpse who somehow managed to bring himself back, and he's a lonely soul who just wants you to set him free. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Restless, who's a listless and tired individual who's aching for things to change... and whether or not we choose to help the Professor or not is entirely up to us.

The Scientist: You get the Scientist if you go into the basement---either armed or unarmed---talk with him, and decide to just leave him there... except, if you do, he'll figure a way out, and he'll electrocute you with a single touch. The Scientist is every bit the sadistic mad genius, and while he knows full well that he needs you in order to get out, he sees no problem with torturing you if that's what it takes---and he's incredibly transparent about his desire to end you once he's finally free. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Doll, who claims that she's not scared and that everything is fine, but is very bad at lying and is clearly shaken by everything the Professor does.

The Academic: You get the Academic if you go down into the basement with the knife, talk with him, attempt to kill him... and when he fights back, you submit. The Academic is self-absorbed, condescending, and controlling, believing himself to be superior to you in every way---and he soon proves that he's not just some entitled asshole, as he's able to take control of you with his words alone. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Humbled, who is openly terrified of the Professor and sees no problem with just doing what he says.

The Archivist: You get the Archivist if you go down into the basement with the knife, decide to free him instead, and resist when the Guide takes you over. The Archivist, who is free from his chains but is unable to escape without your help, has nothing better to do other than to reorganize and catalog the books in the library, and has become incredibly cynical and emotionless as a result. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Curious, who constantly asks questions and wants to look further into random things---something that at first seems irritating, but you eventually realize just how helpful she can be...

The Doctor: You get the Doctor if you go down into the basement with the knife, talk with him, attempt to kill him, and fight him until neither of you can fight anymore. The Doctor openly hates you and sees you as his only obstacle, and will engage you in combat whether you want to or not---and once you fight back, you discover that no matter how brutally you fight, he knows just how to set his organs back to normal, and he knows just how to wreck yours. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Hateful, who wants nothing more than to crush the Professor to a pulp and make him suffer.

The Dragon: You get the Dragon if you go down into the basement without the knife, decide to free him, and don't resist when the Guide takes you over---though you do let the Professor win, in the end. The Dragon is the most beastlike and inhuman of the vessels, and all he wants is to devour you so that he may escape. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Warrior, and she knows exactly how to fight him so that you can make it out of there alive... but be sure to listen to her, because ignoring her warnings could end very badly.

The Inventor: You get the Inventor if you either kill him immediately and check to see if he's dead, or if you question for one second whether or not he's armed... either way, you soon discover that you've brought a knife to a gunfight. The Inventor is cheerful yet murderous, and has several contraptions up his sleeves that are designed to end you---in all sorts of fun and exciting ways. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Prepared, who's quick on her feet and can easily improvise ways to evade the Professor's onslaughts.

The Substitute: You get the Substitute if you avoid going to the library entirely, and instead choose to wander the city---resulting in the city reverting entirely to libraries. Because of this, the Substitute starts off as nothing more than a blank slate of a man, and gets more and more jumbled and confused the more you attempt to talk to him. The voice you gain in your head is the Voice of the Rebel, who doesn't really have a goal other than to just goof off and have fun---making choices for choice's sake.

And, uh... that's what I got!

[manytoonepoet13]

"May My Body Carry Time and Unwanted Emotions." (Cielomort Vessel Theory) – Aozora no Memory.

Sooooo, I've theorized that Ciel used his body as a vessel to store all of those negative emotions, to store the essence of the things that are important to people so he can lure the SEEDS and take them out once and for all in one go.

This came to mind because of the lyrics:

"The rippling bitterness, just drink it all up quietly..."

"Even though things may change during these dizzying days... Leave only your smiles for I will tuck away your loneliness into those clouds."

"Cut out the clouds and the blue sky... For they are the footprints of this waving memory, this memory of the blue sky."

"Even if those clouds that rode on blowing wind will never return... We'll continue to believe that the future will allow us to meet you again."

Let me discuss it lyric by lyric.

So, "The rippling bitterness, just drink it all up quietly." refers to how he used his body to store the negative emotions, therefore the flavor of those emotions being bitter when he "drink it all up quietly" as the lyrics would suggest. Now, I have no idea how this would work, maybe if he'd subject himself to immense hatred? Or if he uses some kind of spell to store all of those negative emotions instead? I have no idea, I just know that he will be using his body as a vessel, or more fittingly, as a bait.

"Even though things may change during these dizzying days... Leave only your smiles for I will tuck away your loneliness." - this still refers to him using this body as a vessel, but here, it's more of talking about the process in preparing his body to be used as a vessel.

"For I will tuck away your loneliness into these clouds." again, using his body as a vessel and how he's planning on doing it.

"Cut out the cotton clouds and blue sky... for they are the footprints of this waving memory, this memory of the blue sky." - so here, basically what I initially wrote for this line is that the cotton clouds and the blue sky symbolizes the bad memory of the past timeline, and to cut them out means to shut those bad memories and emotions away to make room for better ones. But I still think my hypothesis was true, there's one thing that I missed, which is the meaning of Cielomort's name; dead sky. So, if my theory is correct, and that he indeed used his body as a vessel to store the negative emotions to lure in the SEEDS then sacrificed himself, then to cut out the cotton clouds and the blue sky not only means to shut the bad memories out, but to also kill Cielomort, to kill the dead sky to give way to the new, blue sky that will cover Fragaria in only happiness for eternity.

Think of exfoliating to remove dead skin cells to make way for newer, healthier ones.

And finally "Even if those clouds that rode on the blowing wind will never return... We'll continue to believe that the future will allow us to meet you again." basically your usual 'he may not be with us physically, but he will always be with us in spirit and in our hearts because he's always looking down on us and his memory will continue to live on.' this especially applies to Ciel's fame. You have that then add in his sacrifice, his legacy would be one for the books, the blue sky symbolizing his sacrifice for the betterment of Fragaria even if he's not there to witness it himself. Which actually relates to yet another line "I wish to share it all with you, it would be nice if I could be within that "everything". But it's alright if your sky continues to remain blue." so long as the people of Fragaria will be happy, he will be happy himself as well en if he physically, and emotionally can't. He will.

Also, this essence of things stuff talks about Willmesh's involvement. So, remember my poem "The Genius of a Novelist"? Where basically I talked about how Willmesh had a bigger role in all of this and that's why there are books in the mv. And since, according to the website, Willmesh can grasp the essence of things, I believe that is his role, to grasp the essence of said things and store them into Cielomort to execute their plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The knights ask nothing in return for their love."

More theories + poems:

Blue Bouquet — A Bittersweet Love. "May the Clock Strike Thrice." Aozura no Memory – The Genius of a Novelist.

[eresia-catara]

Let's say we get a proper movie or series about Dante, like a thoroughly researched and well-written adaptation of his life by people who actually give a fuck. How would you want them to portray his relationship with Guido? Beatrice? How would you like them to portray Dante as a whole? I feel like a lot of adaptations fail to make him human-like, with flaws and strengths.

Oh interesting question...

The main problem with movies about Dante is that it seems the writers and directors sort of get a 'performance anxiety', in the sense that they so desperately want to go over the top and shock and amaze everyone that they end up with total disasters; and this is partly because Dante is the most important intellectual we have in italian literature so it would be tragic to let down the public (and yet it's what they do) and partly because it's just modern culture to want to produce extravagant movies.

My opinion is that we need to briefly take a step back from all these dreams of grandeur and look at things inside their context once more, because it seems people don't really know where Dante's greatness lies, they just know that he was great. At the same time, everybody knows Dante was human, he was an ordinary man with his flaws and virtues, but does that mean we have to show the public that Dante had sex and ate and whatnot? No, because that's a lowly interpretation of humanity, that's actually portraying a generic living animal (cough cough looking ad Dante 2022). Then do we have to show a hallucinating outcasted genius who's above everybody else? No because that's a kind of mystification that actually ends up belittling his greatness. The fact is that Dante was great exactly because he achieved what he did as a human. He struggled a lot, he had his contradictions and moments of weakness and yet what he ended up gifting to posterity is a message of unconditional love and a new look of wonder onto the world. If there is something that needs to be central in a portrayal of Dante then it has to be his love for humanity. Not Beatrice (as in an actual woman), not a crazy love delirium for Jesus. It is through catholicism that Dante manages to accept all the bitter events of his life and thus find beauty in life in itself. I think this is the fundamental thing one has to keep in mind.

So Dante has to be shown — like in any biographical movie — in his different moments of joy and struggle. You can't just skip his youth years in Florence during which he meets some of the (if not the) most important people of his life (Beatrice and Guido), but you can't even skip his travels across Italy during his exile, because it is then that he actually faces life and the difficulties through which his very capacity to love changes and evolves. We need to show Dante as an evolving, dynamic character whose thoughts and opinions change through time, not a static genius who had One thought and pursued it for all his life from start to finish. Is it complex to portray? Yes. But can you make a 2-3h movie? Yes, if you do it well (looking at Dante 2022 once more).

In relation to these considerations, I think the interpretation of Beatrice and Guido also needs to radically shift from what we're used to.

The way I see it is that Beatrice Portinari may have interested Dante in his youth, but after her death, when Dante started to elaborate new ideas and thoughts he chose her as the right figure to embody them, not because his was a desperate love for this woman but it was for his ideals and as a good little medieval man he needed to materialize it through allegories. So Dante's relationship to Beatrice was mainly intellectual, she was the vessel of his creativity and should be represented as such. No salivating after her, no hallucinating about her during sex (do I still need to mention Dante 2022?) because it wouldn't make sense. The thing is that he idealized her because he never knew her that well as a person (because of the customs Dante rarely saw her, speaking to her was even more difficult), and this should be reflected in the movie. You cannot, in fact, intellectualize and abstract a relationship this much if you truly know someone. So the abstraction of Beatrice needs to become the embodyment of the voice of his conscience, of his perfectionism.

With Guido it's more complicated simply because unlike Beatrice he was actually present in Dante's life, he was his actual friend, so he has played both the role of human and of Idea; as such, we cannot think of a black or white relationship like we did with Beatrice. I think that first of all we need to understand their friendship. Dante saw a great man in Guido because the two shared a lot of qualities and passions. They were both poets, inclined to pensiveness and speculation but most importantly both were free thinkers: neither could ever be satisfied by common sense or common ideas, both always looked to find truth by themselves regardless of any convention. This, I think, was the core of such a tight bond. I think the two could truly share all thoughts with each other and such cases can truly create a dynamic that can border on what today we percieve as a romantic bond. It is therefore understandable how disagreements could then be felt more intensely compared to those with other more casual friendships. So Words are the key to their relationship. Guido shapes Dante as an intellectual, we can't marginalize him to the typical two shots of their first correspondence and of his exile. Everything that happened in between is what truly matters. I believe that through Guido Dante saw Man at the apex of his glory and misery because Guido was also heretic and, I believe, self-destructive. So he was an exemplum of both the good and bad. We need to show this. If I were to make a movie I would treat the story of Guido as a tragedy within a biography whose finale gets dragged beyond his death up until the end of the movie, because after all that's what Dante did. So we need to see the human and the ideal mixing.

[wingstobetorn]

Donnie is the Vessel of the Wind Primordial, and is a Northern Map Turtle to boot.

He has the most prominent shell of the four of them, due to the fact that the center of it actually spikes upwards in a similar fashion to the actual turtle, just a lot more heavily pronounced.

Donnie is a very chill turtle overall. A lot of 'I don't give a fuck' vibes when you first meet them. In actuality they are HUGE nerd who makes their own mini-bot collections and who likes to show off his superior genius to his siblings. He's also Raph's twin because that's a fun dynamic between them-

Donnie has Tourette's Syndrome, he developed it at around four years old and has thus learned to adapt to it whenever his tics pop up during battle (which they actually kind of tone down quite a bit when he's locked in combat, but that's probably because of the hyperfocus on the things happening around them). He's adaptable when it comes to these changes in himself.

Not so much the world around him.

Donnie is a little close minded in the beginning, given that they didn't have too much reference of what the world is like outside of the internet and their own speculations, so he comes off as pretty egotistical in the beginning because he genuinely does not realize the full complexity of humanity. He thinks a majority of them are just stupid as fuck (he's not entirely wrong tho XD) and believes that they're all very gullible creatures. He does not realize that he's actually the gullible creature here.

Besides all of that though, he is a genuinely good friend, and also April's bestie! They get along first in the story of Primordials and as the story progresses, their bond deepens to a sibling-esque level as well!

Being the Vessel of the Wind Primordial, at first, doesn't fit Donnie AT ALL. This is because the Wind Primordial is a trickster being, one who is uncontrollable, wild and free. It is ever changing and never stationary, which is the damn near opposite of Donnie themself. I won't get into too much detail, but just know that each of the Primordials and their Vessels learn a lesson while binded to each other, the Vessels more than the Primordials. Donnie essentially went 'fuck that, Imma tell you how it is and you can't do shit-' to his Primordial and taught IT a lesson instead of the other way around. He's a Donnie like that.

Out of all of them, Donnie is the least dependent on their Primordial, this is primarily because of how much easier they work with the things they made through science, compared to working with eons old magic from a being that's been around since the beginning of Earth itself. They're similar to Rise Donnie in that essence.

A funfact about Donnie is the fact that they use a mechanical tail that they created. This is because Pre-mutation, Donnie had come out of an accident with the loss of their actual tail. Post-mutation he felt left out when all of his other siblings had tails and he didn't, so he decided to make his own. Currently, he has the longest tail out of the four and uses it for the most purposes (since the other three have incredibly short tails).

AAAAANYWAYS onto Mikey in my next post YA-YEET-

!!!

Oughhh.... Primordial Donnie... They sound great tbh. I love me some close minded characters with lots of room for character development. OHH I WAS THINKING "He's kinda like Rise Donnie" BUT THEN YOU LITERALLY SAID IT SJGSJSGHA!!! I DON'T THINK IVE SEEN MUCH OF MECHANICAL TAIL DONNIE IN OTHER ITERATIONS. THAT'S GEN REALLY COOL. I hold him.

Funny the way you mention him being close-minded when THONYS! Donnie is very open-minded and friendly. I just think it's neat how different iterations can be. They should be pals I think.

[idv-news-boi]

thoughts on Bianca? Beth? Angel? Other people you're thinking of today?

Note// Take in mind that this is canon ver. And not ship related/ih if you're still confused with that, is technically Laurence still being himself-

Laurence// Oh? Well,,, Never thought you would need me for that kind of bias thoughts- but Alright! I didn't thought about too many people in one day, so you'll only receive 2 additional people~!

Laurence// Keep in mind that you can't take my words by heart- you're gonna have to meet these people to have your own thoughts settled about others, rather than just hearing who they are by personality from someone! Is like judging a book by it's cover but is also judging the book description instead, you know~- X'D/ih

...

Laurence// Bianca? Hehe,,!!! I have cancelled my plans on trying to get assistance with her skills to find my gear,,, or make a replica that can replace the once missing one-

Laurence// since... I just somehow found my key anyway. I don't see use on more aid now~ :)

Laurence// But hey, I still didn't regret when I first talked to her~! I still want to be besties with her (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Laurence// Where else to start??? there are a lot of thoughts about her...-

Laurence// Sassy women may not be my suit to get along with sometimes,,, but I like to stick with her anyway, because she's so cool-!!!! No one told her that she's pretty??? She ain't just brilliant,,,, 🥰🥰🥰✨✨ *sighs*

...

Laurence// I also thought about Beth- Little bird told me that she got interested in Axel and wants to be friends with him,,, which is not surprising, since i can see the pattern that she likes quiet people~ x'3

Laurence// But anyway- she's a sweet gal,,, wish i can at least go on a date with her- but then she already has her eyes for someone,,, so I'm betting that they're going to be a thing eventually- 👀✨

Laurence// Her tickles are nice,,, they bring me good nostalgia!!! If only that's not painful for me to receive when it comes to that,,, Stupid doll body of mine- 😔

...

Laurence// I'm still trying to recover the fact that Angel is my freaking boss, Wisteria- like, I've been slandering him in front of his nose this all time without knowing- (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

Laurence// His vessel does bring different changes on him, not going to lie on that- but it's a positive thing, no worries~! He's still cold as sexy in my eyes 😉✨*winks*

...

Laurence// I recently got a big scold from Edward- He's a genius! But also my kind of jerk who doesn't get me,,,

Laurence// *pouts, now cursing at Edward in a whiny manner* It's not my faults that i make his job hard on maintenances - you're supposed to be sorry that I have to also do the boring decoding in order to have the thrilling going~! 😣

...

Laurence// ROSIEEEE- I thought so much about her since the time she was looking low-key upset for her flower lamp that got broken---

Laurence// Like,,, It's very hard to impress the Vene herself at times! I know well that she's a very unique woman,,, And thank goodness, i found someone to solve her little problem~! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)✨

[2broschlininahotub]

Meet the witchcrafters

The witchcrafters are all named after words in connected to different artistan crafts in different languages and only girls so far.

They all have powers similar to Rilliona but the weaknesses are they cannot be used as many objects as Rilliona and not as powerful

You will meet them based on ranking and based on who came first.

Meet Verre. Her name comes from Verre the French. The symbolism ties to her mother who is named after the French name of Cinderella. What is Cinderella ascosciated with a Glass slipper. She is a glassmith. To explain what she can do. If she can make an unbreakable glass wall or in theory if anyone is fighting in an area with sand in the area. She can make her opponent be stabbed by glass spikes and it turns back into sand. In practice, she won't do it cause she is to nice and she does not want to fight.

Personality, the other members think she is somewhat lazy if she puts in effort she will succeed.

Meet haine the vice master.

Haine here name means clothing in Romanian. Haine is the temporary leader when Verre is on Vacation (look at the Pic in the left that is when Verre left) or asleep. She is somewhat nervous when doing leader ship cause Verre does that. Her power is to control threads. In theory she can control someone's muscle fibers if she is in danger but she never dies cause she is passive and dislikes blood. Her job is that of a seemstress.

Meet Edel. Her name comes from the word Edelstein which means gemstone in Dutch. She is a Jeweler. She is also a hairstylist on the side. If she has to fight, she can make a gemstone she holds a grenade or make a gem charm that guides you to treasure. Personality she is the fun one or that girl that loves to go to parties. She also hates paper work.

Meet schmietta. Her name comes from Scmied which means blacksmith in German. She is a blacksmith. She is known for making weapons. She is the girl who does not mind getting dirty. She is also the one who takes the most showers being covered in ash a lot of times. She can potentially use the metals in your body to make metal balls that will pin you to the ground or razor blades.

Meet pittore. It means painter in Italian. She is the middle child of the group along with Schmieta and Genni. She helps the other girls with confidence. She is also Haine's younger sister. She can make paintings that can work as portals or paint that can make objects change color at specific or random intervals. She is like an older sister our next member potterie. She also dyes objects when Haine can't chose the color combinations.

Potterie means pottery in French. She is the youngest out of the witchcrafters being 12. She is known for making figurines they usually come to life or used as magical vessels.

Meet Genni her name means genius with French. She is the newest member of the group. She is the accountant of the guild and she deals with the paper work. My theory is that she represents literature. She is Haine's best friend. She was the intern from Selene's place. She helps haine with her confidence issues.

She also keeps a list of the types of people usually who commission specific items from the guild.

Here is the list

Haine-most people.

Verre and Edel-Noble Women.

Schmietta-Adventures and men

Pittore and Potterie-children or parents.

They all performed the ritual that led to the previous generation's failure which killed their master but they succeeded cause they needed the right planning and a proper vessel. Here is the labor of their effort witchcrafter golem aruru.

Aruru's name comes from Arles a place known for as a place where Vincent Van Gogh lived in. She is basically a Glass Canon commissioned by Endymion and Selene to fight Alllister's Experiments. Her power is basically send you back to where you came from. The perfect weapon against Alllister's creations.

[its-toasted]

Who do you still handwrite to?

I've been making a letter for a very good friend. One of my OGs. We'll call them Blue. I think I always try to write to you like Mac or Blue.

Blue is not like their name but if I could tell you everything you'd understand just how it wrote itself. They are a korean genius who I adore. We grew up in church together and that says a lot for me. It's funny, who and what remained for me from church. We are world-class platonic support partners. In crime. In spirit.

The letter was supposed to be a letter. No shit. But so, so many times I would write things and not send them because it be like that, and we are blessed to have apple products, and a couple months ago I just ended up writing to her in a pocket journal. Straight up I still haven't sent it lol, it's about one-third full now. They are well aware and fuming.

Btw I have some very nice empty journals, some quality vessels acquired over the years, and out of all of them I chose some bullshit LOL (y'all gotta hear me say bullshit), this is basically two staples and two stitches. It is well-ruled baby looseleaf wrapped in an index card. It fits in pockets like a dozen dollar bills. Ok I guess I kinda like it.

ANYWAYS THE LETter to Blue has been in progress since May. Everything shifted in May and the floodgates opened for the first time in a long time so it was nice to start writing by hand again too. Home became a liminal space. I was living in a hotel for a while and looking for a new place. Blue is someone I've always been honest with. We talk enough that they stay on my mind. I think when I write personal posts to you, the void that is tumblr, I try to spill like I would to my brother or Blue. People I'm automatically myself around. It's my substitute for therapy.

My brother is Mac. I decided not to change his name, it didn't feel right. I don't think he'll mind. He is absolutely the light of my life. I can't seem to write anything about him that isn't a huge cliche. Favorite face, saving grace, et cetera. I don't deserve him at all, you don't understand. Or maybe you do.

I can't help but feel like growing older just means having fewer and fewer people like Mac and Blue. So many people I once lived my life with are just elsewhere, you know? That's nobody's fault it's just life. You can only keep so many people in pursuit. At some point you're just checking up on each other, and at some you even forget to do that. It doesn't really get easier to swallow but we're trying to keep our eyes down the field and stay in stride these days. Since being stuck is less than ideal. I don't want to go back there soon.

Writing by hand is just different. Somehow, this was the original purpose of this post. I've been blessed to have some damn good handwriting penpals over the years. So often now since our lives are in screens, handwriting is an afterthought. But spilling to Blue since May makes writing feel as sacred as it used to. It's deliberate and painstaking and a choice made for the sake of a different touch. And it's pretty in-line with when I started posting more here again too.

There's a lot I'm too much of a mess to say right now: A Memoir. I am sitting in a room that is workfire ablaze as we speak so uh I should maybe deal with all of this first. Like no really I'm about to get lost in the sauce. The only way I fuck up this gig is if I keep letting myself slip like this. We'll call today (and yesterday) an exception for self care.

Edit: It's 3 AM and I'm all caught up, feeling like a hunnid bucks. I drank too much coffee help

[verobatto]

You've changed me

You are always on my mind.

Destiel meta (14x10 spoiler)

Ok! Third meta from 14x10, the first one you can read it here and the second one here.

How are you dear fandom? I'm discovering more and more clues from this episode... Yockey is a real genius!

Ok... I want to start from here...

First Encounter and how Castiel changed Dean

We've talked a lot about this, but did you imagine the impact in Dean's life being saved by this beautiful Supernatural powerful creature. And the words Castiel said to him, we know now, are making echo all the time in his life, in his head... Michael knows it, and maybe Castiel is so present in his mind that must be overwhelming, and the Archangel is unable to understand that, bc as I said before, he can reach the deepest feelings for Castiel.

So he is mad, and that's why he is mocking Castiel and Everyone else important in Dean's life, but in Castiel's case is different, is doing it because he knows something is there between this Seraphim and this hunter going on causing the Archangel not being able to complete the bond with his vessel.

Gif set credit @magnificent-winged-beast

Thanks @magnificent-winged-beast for this beautiful gif set! Michael looks really good! She made this specially bc I asked her for this meta!

Gif set credit @shirtlesssammy

So ok, we had seen this last seasons how the writers were using classic Destiel quotes in other characters to show us different meanings or to show us the singular/plural receptors. But this time, this time is so different... Because Michael is using the classic quotes (with so much meaning in Dean's heart and mind) to mocking them.

"Yeah, so he is important to you bc he rescued you from hell? Big deal..." So he doesn't understand the depth of Castiel and Dean'd relationship, he is like a child, and bc he has afraid of it too, something that he doesn't know... Can't reach.

That's why he is trying to break every bond Dean has with his family, and with this Angel that, for him, must be a mystery. As it was for Qareen and Amara (season 11).

Gif credit @casclaire

This time this means DESTIEL.

Because as I said in my color meta about Mint Condition, Castiel is literally everywhere for Dean, in his mind, but also in his heart. And that's why when Dean remembers him, the blue light is showing us this graphically.

Smiling... Smiling all the way remembering Castiel, not just here, when he was talking about LOVE and STABBING THE HEART, he was smiling saying love can be more crazy than that. And more smiles in 14x06 too, when he touched the rooster, fondly, placing him apart, when the waitress said "Sometimes you only have the sex", he smiled in disagreement, but then fondly, because that's not what love means, he knows now.

Then... Is poetic how this is written... But most poetic is see the huge changes that Castiel provoked in him... Is Castiel aware of this??

Not just this Seraphim has changed a lot because of Dean, Dean had changed a lot too bc of him. But still... There's more work to do...

Still fighting against Toxicity.

So, here is the second part from the Rocky's bar analysis... It has to do with the title I wrote bc... He was literally trapped, locked up in this Emotional Prison (the bar) with time loops, monster that came for revenge, and the avoidance of all that means getting out from there...

The monsters there are the Hunting, FB (Family business). The one that was drunk and sleeping it reminds me to Mint Condition too, remember when they were scaping from the monster, they went into the morgue, and the monsters surprised them bc he was one of the corpses. Ok so this is the Sam, the drunk one surprised Dean and the others too. And now... Beware with the monster that is trapped inside Dean (Michael). Is like saying... The monster was always inside.

And this...

👆Here is like a prison inside a prison, Sam and Cas couldn't reach Dean when he was inside this room. And if you pay attention to the pics on the wall, there's a voluptuous anime girl and a couple of women. And Pam brought him booze to keep him drowned in alcohol. This is his toxic masculinity, in all his splendor. And here is where they have this boyfriend/girlfriend talk and the YOU DON'T WANT ME YOU JUST LIKE TO FLIRT. Is toxic!Dean not wanting to get out. His inner battle between hetero normative and his truly bi self.

So still fighting... But self acceptance will win!

Let's see what happens with the introduction of John! Could this fight end?

To conclude...

The first encounter in the barn is celebrating the 10th Anniversary, and that's why the writers are calling back to the 4th and 5th season that much, and also bc all the issue with Dean and Michael's Possession is one of the centric topics from this season.

Every word and memory related to Castiel, Dean has it present in his mind and soul all the time. The day he came back from Hell rescued by Castiel is the most important turning point in his life.

Castiel came to Dean's life to bring him hopes, faith, and love. Dean began a new path of self knowledge and self acceptance from the day he met Castiel.

But the inner war he has between Healing!Dean and Toxic!Dean needs to stop, we will see how the introduction of John Winchester (representing toxic masculinity and guilt heritage) can heal once for all .

Thanks for reading!

Tagging @emblue-sparks @cheerstofandomfamily @magnificent-winged-beast @mrsaquaman187 @castiellover20 @agusvedder @casualpandabeliever @whyjm @wolveswingsandwrenches @gneisscastiel @metafest

Buenos Aires January 19th 2019 01:28 AM