welcome, to the second issue of the teufort times!
THIS WEEK'S PATCH NOTES:
WHY THE AGGRESIVE SPY PLAYSTILE SUCKS (AND HOW TO FIX IT)
Since the release of the dead-ringer in the sniper vs spy update, the aggresive spy playstyle has been quite the sensation with spy mains.
(tryhardius spycicus trying to mate with a fictionalius waifius caught in the wild lands of doublecross)
but lately, i have seen quite the discourse when it comes to such interesting specimens. I always thought it was universally agreed that such playstyle was terrible, and that it was a terrible deviation from how spy is supposed to be played. But surprisingly, some like this playstyle. Lets break it down.
THE KUNAI:
Spy is a spy. We can all agree on that. And what does a spy do? Well, a spy can do many things, but the most important thing is that he should try his best at not getting caught, and if he gets caught, he should be punished for it. But the kunai just sorta says "fuck that, imma do my own thing"
By giving spy the health of a soldier and the movespeed of a medic, he just becomes a fucking beast. "But Hatty, spy only has 70 health when using the kunai!" well, when the kunai is paired with shit like the dead-ringer, the 70 health penalty just becomes a small annoyance. And the fact that the backstab hitboxes are kinda broken doesnt help the kunai's case. So overral, the kunai fucking sucks. But thats only like, 80% of the problem.,
THE DEAD-RINGER:
There are 2 types of weapons in TF2: poorly designed ones, and poorly balanced ones. The deadringer falls into the poorly designed ones section. Look, i get it, faking your death is cool, but in practice, its pretty overpowered. I mean, its a free get out of jail card. And when paired with the kunai, this thing becomes flat out busted. Like cmon, just running away from your problems while also having 225 health without any penalty is pretty busted.
HOW TO FIX IT
also, the deadringer is pretty simple, just make it so that you have a slower cloak regen and less damage res.
but now., lets talk about something else.,
AS A PART-TIME ENGI MAIN, PYBROS CAN GO FUCK OFF.
look. I know this sounds bad, BUT, hear me out for a moment. I often call playing engineer as "roleplaying as a single mother" because you have to take care of all your sweet little angels i mean, buildings, and make sure they get some cool frags and help your team. But pybro's turn the engineer experience into "1950's american housewife roleplay". Why, you might ask? Well, maybe its because there is a pyro constantly taking care of my precious little buildings, while i do absolutely nothing outside of maybe moving my dispenser to the other side of the room so its the pyro can more easily access it. That just makes engineer a boring class. You play engi so that you can feel the rush of grabbing your buildings and saving them from those big, mean, and ugly soldiers. But then also watch your sentry get a cool ass frag on a trolldier. Do you get it? DO YOU SEE MY VISION? I WANT TO PLAY ENGINEER BECAUSE I WANT TO FEEL SOME SENSE OF ADRENALINE AND RUSH, AND ALSO PRIDE WHEN MY LITTLE SENTRY MASSACRES THE OTHER TEAM. BUT THAT MUSH MOUTHED FREAK JUST COMPLETELY REMOVES THAT, AND WHY? WHO KNOWS WHAT INHUMANE THOUGHTS LIE BEHIND THAT MASK? I WONT BE LETTING THAT PYROMANIAC ANYWHERE NEAR MY BUILDINGS. END OF DISCUSSION.
THIS WEEK'S WORKSHOP HIGHLIGHT:
MANNIFEST DESTINY!
(taunt made by MalwooWS and Olu! Go check em out!)
TODAY'S SPECIAL IS.,. OH MY GOD, I FUCKING LOVE THE PANIC ATTACK.
this is the first special where we will talk about some underrated weapons, like the panic attack. This shotgun is great! Its everything a shotgun should be! It comes out faster, which helps with its "oh shit, im all outta ammo" use, and the fixed bullet spread is very nice. And cmon, look at it! It looks gangsta as fuck. So take a break from the stock shotty and try this bad boy. (plus its strange version is really cheap)
CONTACT INFO:
mrtophattygj - discord
MrTopHatty - gamejolt
THATS ALL FOLKS! Hope yall like this issue, i tried my best, and its pretty damn heated (and long!)
(also, if you liked this, reblog it! It helps a lot!)
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