#was meant to post this a while ago and totally forgot whoops

[chasinginfinity1997]

Here’s some art of my trafficsona Flit :) She’s an absolute anxious mess/colossal idiot (which is now 1000x worse since she turned red; someone please send her help haha)

[fleetofshippyships]

2020 Creator Wrap: 5 Favorite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

Tagged by @inessencedevided and @rockmarina =)

Yay, AO3 is back up so I can do this now XD cos the brain fog is thick and I couldn’t even remember 5 titles let alone my favs 😅 and I wrote a lot of little things while fogged this year and never posted them, or thought I did only to find out later I didn’t, or just...forgot they existed entirely, and a few things posted here on tumblr but not AO3, so...I’m very confused and needed help remembering 😅 I plan on sorting that mess out soon

This year has been my worst and least productive from when I first started posting fic years ago, but that’s okay, my health has been rock bottom this year so it’s to be expected, so every drabble and fic is something to be proud of!!

But, my favs, let’s see...after I scroll my own AO3 to remind myself what I wrote not much 😅 but also crap I was so ready to link my sangxian fic but that was posted late 2019 😭

A Dream Made Real (Wangxian, Merfolk AU, Tears of Pearl Part  6)

I never meant for this merfolk AU to be more than that first part of the series but whoops, it got away from me XD I really miss writing it, hopefully I can get more done this year!

Side note: also A Charming Distraction which is set in the same setting but not quite a part of the series (although I’m going to work it in after thinking about it, so yes this happens at some point after part 6) because really, what is the point of having a merman boyfriend if you don’t use him like a banana boat to lazily float down the river? (also this was a collab with @sweetlittlevampire, and she enabled me wonderfully when I had this idea of Lan Zhan dropping a water whale on Wei Wuxian’s head and then she drew it so beautifully (the moment before Wei Wuxian got drenched, which is beautiful and not as ridiculous as it sounds XD)

Never Again (Nie Huaisang/Jiang Cheng, unhappy ending)

I’m still so happy with the angst in this, and cos my friend who loves angst prompted me I was able to just go hard and not tone it down (I LOVE angst XD) and then she cussed me out for how painful it was, which was the most fun part XD but I love the (so deliciously painful) idea of Huaisang pushing Jiang Cheng away to keep him safe but also being absolutely fucking brutal because he knows Jiang Cheng’s most painful weaknesses and also knows nothing short of total brutality will keep Jiang Cheng far enough away to not notice everything that follows in canon, and cos Jiang Cheng just won’t take the hint 😭

An untitled Soulmate AU I’m working on for the Touken Ranbu fandom (Kurikasen ship, WHY ARE THEY A RAREPAIR I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) which so far exists online only as this WIP wednesday snippet post. It’s not finished yet (or is it? endings are hard) but I wrote 9k of it in 2020 so it counts right? XD

Now and Always (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui)

This was just purely self-indulgent. I just wanted to write Sizhui trying to make Yanli’s soup for Jin Ling, I have big feelings about Sizhui having tried it but not Jin Ling. Also, literally nothing would happen in this fic without Jingyi, he is the true MVP, the ultimate wingman, and he deserves an award!

Putting to Rights (Poly Junior Quartet with Jin Ling/Jingyi focus)

I just like writing the juniors but also I’ll never not love the moment Jin Ling rushes to his feet to go off at Sizhui and Zizhen only to get yanked back down because his hand is still all tangled with Jingyi’s by the forehead ribbon XD

Okay, I’m not gonna tag anyone cos I’m late doing this and everyone has probably already been tagged and I’ve been offline so long I feel weird tagging anyone anyway XD

But if any content creators see this and wanna do it but weren’t tagged, PLEASE DO IT, you can say I tagged you =)

[skytroops]

whoops, ur a furry now.

It's been a long time since I've did anything for my KH AU, and it is once again Lion King centered. I really need to make some actual designs for the gheys and make info dumps. This is what happens when an AU is basically just me drawing random ideas for fun rip I found a flower/grass brush set for CSP a few weeks ago and I've been dying to use them, so I might've went a little overboard but it turned out nice. So what's happening here? For a quick refresh, Ash and Skye are training to be Keyblade Masters alongside other wielders at the Land of Departure. They go on missions to sort out Heartless and other darkness related problems throughout the worlds--you get the gist. Skye tends to be sent to worlds that involve transforming one's self to fit into said world (Atlantica, Pride Lands,  Monstropolis, etc) because he is the most competent in transformation magic in their class. At some point, Skye is sent on a mission to the Pride Lands with Azizi (a descendant of Zuri and fellow keyblade wielder) and Ash decides that he wants to come along because he's never been to the Pride Lands and so that he can avoid doing chores. Skye and Azizi begrudgingly take him with them and when they get there--oop, Ash takes one look at his new body and sees that Skye's magic had transformed him into a spotty cat with huge ears and stilts for legs. Congrats, Ash! You became a serval!

Ash had expected to be turned into a lion so that he could fit in with Skye and Azizi, so he complains to Skye once he's able to stand on all four paws. Skye tells him that, due to the short notice, he let the magic of the world choose Ash's animal form rather than using more of his own magic to custom-make Ash's form instead. So why did I choose to turn Ash into a serval? Because I initially wanted to draw Ash doing some BIG JUMPS while using servals as reference and then I. . .wanted to draw him as a serval and ~here we are~. I used the opportunity to draw in the Lion King style again and I think I am getting a better feel for it. But whoever is able to draw in accurate anime and Disney styles are too powerful and I would like a fraction of that power. And as I mentioned at the start, this AU is mostly just me messing around with a setting rather than making an entire story-driven AU. That being said, I totally forgot that I had set the Lion King's timeline to be during the second movie when I doodled this and designed Azizi. So now, the Pride Lands' timeline is roughly 10 years after Simba's Pride/The Lion Guard rather than taking place during. The AU is meant to take place 60~ years into the future post-KH3/Re;Mind after all. So I suppose you can assume all the worlds are roughly set 2 generations into the future, if that makes any sense.

[mikotyzini]

Happy Not-Birthday

Words: 2290 Pairing: Bumblebee

Totally almost forgot to post this today...whoops!  Enjoy!  Also, warning for being slightly suggestive!

Humming a tune to herself (the newest AchieveMen single), Yang jogged up the front steps, unlocked the front door, and let herself into the front entryway.  

“Hey Blake!” she called out, hanging her bag on a hook by the door and kicking off her shoes.  Pushing them towards the clutter of shoes already on the ground, she glanced towards the staircase when she didn’t hear a response.

“Blake?” she called out again.  “I’m home.”

Still nothing but silence, which was weird...because she knew Blake was already home.  Her bag was by the door, her shoes underneath, and she’d just texted asking when Yang would be home.

Heading towards the staircase to check upstairs, Yang froze when she felt it.  

What was ‘it’ exactly?  ‘It’ was hard to describe.  Some days, she described it as a disturbance in the air - one of those feelings that raised the hairs on the back of her neck.  Other days, she’d swear it as a weird type of intuition.  But most of the time, she called it just plain scary.

Whatever it was, she felt it right before something lowered in front of her eyes - cutting off her vision and plunging her into darkness.  Instinctively, she jerked an elbow back at the presence behind her as her heart started pumping with adrenaline.

“Woah there,” came a calm voice as her elbow connected with nothing but air.  “Easy, tiger.”

The sound of Blake’s voice instantly put her at ease, allowing her to relax and drop the ‘fight’ reflex that ran so strongly through her.

“One of these days I might accidentally get you,” she replied, turning towards where Blake had spoken from, only for the strip of fabric to remain in front of her eyes.

“Right…” Blake answered, her disbelieving smirk practically visible in her tone.  “I really don’t see that happening.”

“You never know!”  Trying to turn around again, Yang was disappointed when the blindfold stayed over her eyes.  “I’m pretty fast.”

“That’s like a koala telling a cheetah it’s fast.”

“Are you the koala here?” Yang joked, grinning when she heard Blake laugh from behind her.

“If you’ll let me hang onto you, I will be.”

“Hmm…”  Drawing out the word, Yang tried to use the element of surprise and spun around faster this time.  Of course, she then sighed when Blake somehow managed to keep the blindfold in place.

“Ok, what’s up with the blindfold?” she finally asked.  “Is this payback for accidentally embarrassing you in front of JNPR?”

“Not quite,” Blake replied, softly chuckling when Yang spun around again, to no avail.  

“You have to admit it was kinda funny though,” she said, imagining Blake’s expression.  “You were bragging about having such good balance then wham! I knocked you right over.”

“Yes, it was...very funny…”

Sensing the dryness in Blake’s tone, Yang twirled again and finally gave up, raising her hand then dropping it to her side in defeat.

“Ok, what gives?  I just want to see my beautiful girlfriend.”

“You’ll see me soon enough, but first…”

Feeling the strip of cloth fasten behind her head, Yang hadn’t even thought to remove it when she felt soft lips on her own - Blake kissing her out of the blue.  No longer caring whether or not she could see, Yang immediately responded by leaning in to kiss Blake deeply - because she didn’t need to see in order to do that.  Breathing in the smell of Blake’s body wash - a nice, flowery lavender - Yang clutched at Blake’s sides, pulling the girl close.  

It was one of those kisses that went from zero to a hundred in less than a second.  It was one of those kisses that made her realize how absolutely and unconditionally she loved the girl in front of her.  It didn’t matter if she couldn't see Blake right now.  Ultimately, she didn’t care what Blake looked like - she cared about that feeling bubbling up inside her the longer their lips clashed together.  Love, longing, desire, adoration, admiration - all those feelings and more burst forth the longer the kiss progressed.

Yang was fully prepared to profess a lot of love right there in the entryway, but Blake suddenly broke away, resting one hand on Yang’s collar to keep her from following.  Confused at the sudden loss of intimacy, she cleared her throat and struggled to find words while her mind was hung up on the kisses instead.

It was common knowledge that Blake scrambled her mind, so there was nothing to be embarrassed about, right?  Especially not when Blake had just awakened a very big and very ferocious desire within her.

“U-uh...wh-what?” she stammered, clearing her throat again and shaking her head in an attempt to clear her mind.  “Uh, what was that for?”

As fingers wove through her hair, Yang so wanted to see Blake’s eyes at the moment - that smart, sexy amber that looked right through her.  Instead, she would have to be satisfied with feeling Blake’s hand slide behind her neck and pull them closer together.

“Happy birthday,” Blake whispered in response, pressing another sultry kiss to Yang’s lips while her confusion soared through the roof.

“Uh…” she said, accepting another kiss in the darkness.  “But...it’s not my birthday?”

“Are you sure about that?”

Five minutes ago, she’d been pretty sure it wasn’t her birthday.  But with Blake pressed against her, kissing her...she wasn’t so sure.  Maybe it was her birthday.  Or maybe she didn’t care if it wasn’t her birthday.  

“I mean…” she got out before getting lost in another kiss, taking a step back as Blake pressed forward.  “Sure - yeah, it can be my birthday.”

Hearing a delighted laugh, Yang grinned.  No matter what it was, she loved making Blake laugh.  If that meant she had to change her birthday, then so be it.  It was just one day a year, anyway.  No big deal!

“Glad you agree,” Blake replied, running her hands up Yang’s shirt and disappearing when Yang tried to grab her and pull her back for a kiss.  When Yang let out a disgruntled sound, Blake laughed from somewhere off to the left.  

“I have a surprise for you,” Blake added, amusement evident in her voice.

“I hope it involves the two of us,” Yang replied, turning towards Blake and stepping forward.

“Oh it does.”

Hearing Blake in the opposite direction, Yang turned again and moved that way instead.  

“I think you’ll enjoy it immensely.”

Growing impatient with her lack of vision, Yang reached up to remove the blindfold - only for a hand to grab hers right before lips kissed her passionately - forcing her to forget her quest once again.  

But this time when Blake tried to back away, Yang refused to let go.  Instead, she pulled Blake closer, wrapping her arm around Blake’s waist while layering one kiss on top of another.  Letting out a content sigh, Blake acquiesced - opening her mouth and allowing Yang to deepen the kiss.

Without her vision, Yang focused on so many other sensations - like Blake’s tongue clashing with hers, playfully fighting for superiority.  Blake’s hands slid up her sides before moving across her chest, yanking the zipper down on her jacket before pushing the coat off of her shoulders.  She heard it hit the ground, neither of them caring to hang it up at the moment, not when the heat being generated between them grew hotter by the second.

“Mmm - mmmk -”

Blake tried to break away, but Yang followed and pressed another greedy kiss to her girlfriend’s lips - a kiss that was willingly accepted before Blake again pulled away.  “Mmm - Yang -”

“You said it’s my birthday...” Yang murmured, running her hand through Blake’s hair while kissing her neck, sucking and lightly biting just how she knew Blake liked.

“Yes -” Blake replied, letting out a small gasp when Yang nipped at her ear.  “And I - I have a surprise -”

“Do you…?” Yang whispered into Blake’s ear, feeling a shudder of ecstasy travel under her fingertips.

“Yesss...yes.”  Unexpectedly pulling away, Blake managed to slip out of Yang’s grasp and disappeared once more.  

“Ugh, again?” she whined, turning around as if she could somehow find Blake.

“I have a surprise for you,” Blake repeated, her voice steadier but still breathless.  “Can you come with me?”

When Yang raised a brow, Blake grabbed her hand and led her away from the front door.

“Don’t answer that.  Just...follow me.”

“I hope we’re continuing that kiss…” Yang muttered while allowing Blake to pull her forward.

“Maybe…”

“In the living room?” she guessed when she felt carpet underneath her feet - her excitement building once again.  “I’m totally on board with this.”

“Are you?” Blake whispered - her soft breath tickling Yang’s ear and sending new tingles of desire down her spine.

“Ohhh yeah.  Wherever you want, Blake - you know I’m always willing to...please you.”  Grinning at the thought, Yang reached out in another futile attempt to find Blake’s skin.  “Just don’t make me wait for it - or do I have to beg again?  You want me to beg, don’t you?”

Another light laugh, and Yang tried to turn back to Blake.  Instead, she felt soft lips touch her ear.

“You don’t have to beg,” Blake whispered.  “But first, your surprise.”

“I hope this surprise is you naked, because I can’t wait to nail -”

The blindfold suddenly disappeared and Yang blinked in the bright lights.  

When her mind processed what was in front of her, she found herself looking at Weiss, Ruby, and the entirety of Team JNPR - all of her closest friends standing underneath a homemade ‘Happy Birthday, Yang!’ banner with a cake on the table between them.

“Uh...surprise!” Ruby shouted, trying to keep the birthday surprise alive even though her cheeks were ultra-red.  Standing by Ruby’s side, Weiss shook her head and looked like she wanted to say something else entirely. Fortunately, Weiss was cut off by the much-delayed “Surprise!”s that JNPR managed to get out - each of them with varying degrees of shock or embarrassment on their faces.

“Surprise,” Blake whispered, nipping the bottom of Yang’s ear before backing away with a triumphant grin.  “Who’s embarrassed now?”

Turning back to her friends, teammates, and little sister, Yang felt her cheeks grow much warmer.

Ok, so that was pretty damn good.  Get her all riled up, then throw a bucket of cold water on her desire.  Touché, Belladonna.  Touché.

“Joke’s on you - I’m totally not embarrassed!” she replied, to which Blake rolled her eyes.  Proving her lack of embarrassment (even though she was just a little embarrassed), she smiled at her friends and family.  “Ok, peanut gallery.  Let’s eat cake, but then you need to leave so Blake and I can get down to business - if ya know what I mean.”

“We know exactly what you mean,” Weiss replied, folding her arms over her chest.  “Honestly, I’m surprised the two of you didn’t do it in the hall before walking in here.”

“Are you upset about that?” Yang retorted, knowing a good tease when she saw one.  “Sad you missed out?  I don’t think Blake’s into that, but...you can always ask.”

While Yang grinned, Weiss scoffed and turned to Blake.

“I know you have a blindfold, but do you also have earplugs so we can stop listening to her speak?”

“Oh!  I do!” Nora exclaimed, digging in her pockets in search of the random items.  Chuckling at the response, Yang winked at Weiss.

“Come on, Weiss.  I know you and Ruby get super freaky.”  Watching Weiss’ cheeks flush deep red while Ruby’s darkened to match, Yang smirked and pointed at Pyrrha and Jaune.  “Same with you two.”

“W-what??  I don’t know what you’re referring to -”

“Uhh - y-yeah, what she said -”

Laughing at the responses, Yang reached out and pulled Blake closer.

“If I’m going down, I’m taking all of you with me,” she said, waving her hand around the room while everyone’s cheeks blushed in culpability.  “Well, except you, Nora.”

“Found ‘em!” Nora shouted, holding up a pair of earplugs before sticking them in her ears.  “Sorry!” she then yelled, waving in Ren’s face. “What did they say!”

When Ren raised a finger to his lips and shushed his partner, Yang laughed and kissed Blake’s temple.

“So...was that your way of getting back at me?” she whispered into Blake’s ear, noticing the satisfying flush still on Blake’s cheeks - the lingering evidence of Blake’s very successful attempt to excite her.

“It was my attempt…” Blake replied, looking moderately disappointed in the results.  “I forgot you have no shame.”

“Not when it comes to you.”  Shrugging when Blake gave her a look, Yang let out a laugh as she stooped down and grabbed the blindfold off the ground.  “We’re totally keeping this for tonight,” she said, watching Blake’s linger on the strip of fabric for an enticingly-long time.  

Leaning close, she pressed her lips to Blake’s ear and whispered, “Guess who gets to wear it next?”

“I do!”

When the blindfold was snatched from her hand, Yang looked over in surprise - finding Ruby pulling it over her eyes while Weiss watched with a smug smile.

“I’m completely ok with this.”

“Of course you are,” Yang answered with an eye roll.  Sharing a look with Blake and finding a small flame of desire in those amber eyes, Yang spurred to motion - willing to do anything to rekindle that fire.  

“Ok!” she said, gaining everyone’s attention while taking Blake’s hand.  “Let’s eat my not-birthday cake so you can get out of here. I’ve obviously got better things to do.”

Blake blushed at the comment while everyone else groaned.  Yang grinned at the response, knowing she was about to have the best not-birthday birthday anyone had ever had.

[slusheeduck]

Grace Note

Part 4 - 2004

               Sebastián huffed as he adjusted the empty boxes in his arms. Today was the day, he decided, that they were going to get rid of all the bottles that kept piling up in Ruy’s apartment. He was pretty sure there were still some there from the first party he’d gone to, over a year ago. He’d brought it up for a while now, but Ruy had always waved him off with an easy smile and a ”Later, later, Seba.”

               Well, enough. Sebastián knew landlords well enough to know that even someone like Rodrigo Rivera was susceptible to being kicked out, and none of his other friends would give him the kick he needed to clean up.

               He reached the teal-sided house, propping up his boxes against his hipbone as he reached for the doorknob. He shut his eyes and hoped the knob would be stuck, then groaned as it turned easily.

“Ruy!” he called as he walked in. “You need to lock your door!”

               Normally, he’d get a call of “What, is someone going to murder me?” in reply, but nothing came. Sebastián frowned as he walked in and set the boxes down. Was Ruy out? Maybe he was taking Caprice out; she wasn’t settled in the main room like she normally was. He puffed as he looked around.

               “Ruy?” he called. “Oye, are you in here somewhere?”

               No answer. Sebastián puffed again, taking off his hat to push his hair back before he pulled it back on. The idiot probably didn’t have keys on him, and despite Ruy’s constant protests, he didn’t feel comfortable leaving the door unlocked. Well, he’d probably be back soon enough. And…well, there was a beautiful grand piano that Ruy had said he could use anytime.

               He made his way over to it, cleaning off a few scattered thank you notes and loose pages of sheet music. As he was about to sit down, though, he heard a loud whinny from the backyard.

               “Caprice?”

               Another whinny, and, as Sebastián got closer to the sliding glass door, he heard a few mumbles through it. He quickly slid the door open, catching sight of Ruy stumbling his way to Caprice.

               “Shh, shhhhhhhh, Preese. ‘Sgood. Ssssoy bueno.”

               Caprice let out a concerned-sounding nicker, then whistled as she caught sight of Sebastián. Ruy leaned heavily against her, then gave a vacant smile as he turned.

               “Seeeeeba!” he sang, pushing himself away from Caprice and drifting over to him. “Seeebasebaseba, mi chico favorititito!” He stumbled forward, dropping his glass to clutch at Sebastián, to keep from falling to the ground. “Whoops.”

               “Dios, you reek of tequila,” Sebastián said, trying to pull him up. He looked around with a frown. “Has anyone been over? Were you—” He was stopped by Ruy clapping a hand over his mouth.

               “Shhh. Sh sh sh. Doesn’t…don’t worry about that.” He looked up at him with unfocused eyes. “Whyyyy d’you worry so much anyway? You shouldn’ worry. None’a my friends should worry.” Ruy pulled himself up a bit, grinning at Sebastián. “Y’know what? I’m…I’m’na throw a party tonight. A big one. Then you can stop worrying.”

               Sebastián grimaced. This definitely wasn’t normal-drunk Ruy he was looking at. This was even worse than post-obligatory-family-party drunk. He hoisted him up to stand straight, then kept a hold on his shoulders as he swayed and almost fell over. “Rodrigo, I need…”

               “Dooooon’t call me Rodriiiigo. She’s the only one who makes it sound nice,” he argued, waving vaguely past Sebastián’s shoulder before he frowned at him. “Yooou make it sound like I’m in trouble.”

               Sebastián fought the urge to roll his eyes, instead snapping to get Ruy to look at him. “Fine. Ruy. Tell me what happened.”

               “Nothing happened.”

               “Mentira. You’re a wreck.”

               Ruy pushed himself away with a frustrated noise. “I’m not! I’m fffine!” He backed away from Sebastián, skull lifted and eyes shut. “IIIIIII am completely and totally FI—”

               Splash.

               Caprice whinnied frantically as Ruy fell back into the pool, and Sebastián lunged forward, looking over the edge with wide eyes. Maybe the dip would sober him up enough to…why wasn’t he resurfacing? All he could see was a dark, still shape in the water.

               For a half a second, Sebastián completely forgot they were dead, and he automatically plunged into the water after Ruy. Gripping his bony arms, of course, was enough of a reminder, but Ruy still wasn’t moving even while Seba pulled him back to the surface. He couldn’t…the final death didn’t work like that, right?

               “Ruy? Ruy!”

               Ruy finally let in a strangled gasp, eyes flying open and staring straight up. “I can’t…I can’t move…” He rasped.

               “Yes, you can! Mirame, mirame, Ruy!” It was a little difficult while he was trying to keep them both above the water, but Sebastián managed to grab Ruy’s chin and pull his head down to look at him. “Look at me. We’re dead. You’re fine now, you can’t get hurt.”

               Ruy’s breathing was still ragged, his eyes still wide and terrified, and Sebastián pulled his hand away to snap at him.

               “Look at me. You’re okay. You’re okay, Ruy.”

               Finally, Ruy’s eyes locked on Sebastián’s. He blinked a few times, then looked up as Caprice whinnied at them again. He swallowed hard, legs now kicking to keep himself afloat, then looked over at Sebastián miserably before he swam to the edge of the pool. Sebastián’s jaw tightened, and he grabbed his hat as it floated by before following him.

               This definitely prompted a talk.

~

               Clack.

               The sound rang out through the apartment as Sebastián nearly slammed the cup of coffee in front of Ruy. He set his hands on his hipbones as he watched Ruy stare down at the cup. The dip in the pool had sobered him up quite a bit, and now he looked…wilted—shoulders hunched, eyes glassy, hair still dripping onto the papers on the table. Sebastián honestly wanted to just cheer him up, but…he got the feeling that wasn’t what he needed.

               “Drink that,” he said, voice a little harsher than he meant it to be. “I need you to be sober before we talk about this.”

               “Do we have to talk about it?” Ruy asked in a small voice, still staring at the coffee. Sebastián rubbed one of his temples with a sigh.

               “Yes. We do. Because I have never seen you that bad…”

               “You haven’t known me very long.”

               “And I don’t want to see you that bad ever again.”

               Ruy’s gaze finally broke from the coffee cup, and he looked up at Sebastián with wide, surprised eyes. He swallowed hard, then picked up the cup and took a sip. He grimaced and screwed his eyes shut before he huffed a breath through his nasal cavity and mumbled something against the cup rim. Sebastián sat down across from him and leaned forward.

               “What was that?”

               Ruy kept his eyes closed, hands gripping the cup so hard they were shaking. He let out a long, slow breath.

               “My…ex visited last night.”

               Sebastián blinked, then rested his arms against the table. “Bianca?”

               “What?”

               Sebastián shrugged. “I dunno. I still see her sometimes and she’s…got that ex vibe whenever you get brought up.”

               Ruy puffed out a sound that was almost a laugh, shaking his head. “No, no. Bianca is a completely different story.” He tapped out a small tune against the mug. “Actually, yeah, let’s talk about Bianca.”

               “Ruy…”

               A pained grimace crossed Ruy’s face, and he looked up at Sebastián with wide brown eyes. “Please, Sebastián. Just give me a minute.”

               Sebastián. He was pretty sure Ruy hadn’t called him by his full name since his freakout a year ago; it must be serious. He sat back with a sigh, arms crossed. “All right. Tell me about Bianca.”

                 Ruy took a long sip of coffee. “I met her kinda the same way I met you. Got really drunk, think I played a few things for her—if I remember right, she was kinda shell-shocked about being dead, and I’m not gonna lie, I really liked showing off for freshies back then. Got their minds off things, y’know?” Told her to visit whenever, and she did.” He rubbed his face. “And I was an idiot. I should’ve seen the signs. I spent so much time with her—even more than you and I did at first—because she was…” He shrugged. “She was sweet? She said everything I did was amazing? And it was just…dios mio, it’s so nice to hear that, you know?”

               Sebastián frowned. “You said you hated people talking about you like that.”

               “I hate people talking about my music like that. Telling me how amazing my garbage work is, telling me what a genius I am with my concertos, all that. But talking about me like I was something amazing? I don’t get that very often.” He rubbed his eyes with a sigh. “And then she came in one day asking ‘What are we?’ And I just…I couldn’t answer her. So she left. And I did what I do best and tried to run from that. I talked to new people, threw myself into new music…did everything I could to avoid her.”

               “No wonder she thinks you target freshies,” Sebastián said before he could stop himself. He clamped his mouth shut, but Ruy shook his head.

               “No, you’re right.” He cradled his skull in his hand as he sighed. “And I still don’t know what I wanted. But no matter what, it would’ve ended badly.” He shut his eyes, pressing the heel of his palm against his brow ridge. “She’s not her.”

               “And…her is the ex.”

               Ruy nodded. He opened his mouth, then shut his jaw with a sharp click as he grimaced again. “I can’t…” he whispered. “I can’t tell you about her. Not today.”

               Sebastián gave a soft sigh before leaning forward. “Tell me something. Tell me what got you to that state.”

               “I…”

               “What if she comes again, Ruy? What if I’m not there to fish you out of the pool?”

               “It won’t be like this if she comes again. I just…” Ruy swallowed hard, eyes glistening as he finally opened them. “She has a kid, Seba. Probably has grandkids,” he said quietly, voice breaking. “Her hair’s gray now. She lived. And…and I should be happy about that, but…” He shrugged helplessly and started to turn to get up. Sebastián lunged across the table to grab his arm.

               “No. You’re staying sober for the rest of the day,” he said firmly, then softened his voice as he asked, “Why aren’t you happy about it?”

               Ruy stared hard at the table, obviously trying hard not to blink. Eventually, he did, and two tears dripped to the table.

               “She did it all without me,” he whispered. “Because I wasn’t good enough.”

               Sebastián sucked in a breath.  O…kay. This was harder than the other breakups he’d walked friends through…which weren’t very many. What did he do? “No, I’m sure you were fine,” sounded so fake, but anything else would sound like he was agreeing that Ruy wasn’t good enough. And…well, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he’d fallen apart…kind of like he was doing right now.

               But friends didn’t say that. Friends help make their friends be better. And he wanted to do that, but…well, he didn’t have the answer for that now. So, instead, he got to his feet. Ruy looked up at him as he did, tears still pooled in the bottom of his sockets, then swallowed hard.

               “I’m right, ar—”

               “Hey, shut up.” Sebastián walked over to the piano, gathering up the papers on the keys and setting them aside as neatly as he could. “Maybe you are. I dunno. I didn’t know you back then. But I’m already tired of you being a sadsack about stuff you can’t change.” He sat down at the piano and glanced over his shoulder. “I’m sorry you had such a bad visit with her. Break-ups suck.”

               Ruy puffed out another almost-laugh, wiping at his eyes. “They do, don’t they?”

               “So we’re not gonna think about her anymore. Not for the rest of the day, at least.” He cracked his knuckles. “Escucha. This was supposed to be your birthday present.”

               “I’d need a birthday for th—”

               “Shut up, Ruy, everyone knows it’s June 12th. Escucha.” Before Ruy could get another word in, Seba started to play, smiling a bit as he heard Ruy’s gasp.

               “Is this…?”

               “Mm-hm.”

               “You’re covering Selena?”

               “Yeah, and you better love it. It physically hurts me to play this.”

               It was like seeing a dead man come back to life…metaphorically. There was still an edge that said that Ruy wasn’t quite better, but…well, the most they could do right now was pretend. That was…kinda what friends did. And to be honest, that kind of friend was what Ruy needed, at least right now. No empty praises, no urging to be better. Just someone to spend some time with him and shake off a night he obviously wanted to forget.

               Maybe one day he’d be able to help Ruy get past the worst of…this. But there was all the time in the world to figure that out. For now…well, it took a pretty great friend to compose a Selena medley, didn’t it?

~End~

[unnervingswag]

can you please answer all of the questions🙏

Holy shit. Yeah sure wow haha. Sadly I haven’t been on a date since the last ask though so just keep that in mind. I’m really inexperienced for an 18 year old whoops. 

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

Maybe a carnival/fair? OH or a planetarium?????? That sounds pretty snazzy. Anything but a movie tbh. 

2. whats your “type”

Female. I honestly don’t know though. For awhile I mostly liked androgynous/soft butch girls but I mean femme girls are great too?? And like… all girls in between??? Girls are great?????? Idk this is too hard. 

3. do you want kids?

YES

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?- answered!

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on- answered! 

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)- ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I’m a virgin. 

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

Night time. I mean PREFERABLY would I want to be a morning time gay? Yeah sure.. but that doesn’t stop me from staying up until 4/5 am every night. 

8. opinion on nap dates?- answered! 

9. opinion on brown eyes?

Fucking stunning??? They’re so warm and beautiful I love them. 

10. dog gay or cat gay?

Probably dogs. I looooove cats but I need a clingy as fuck animal. I need to know I’m needed lmfao. (Also I like playing rough and the with playful doggers.)

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

Yeah?? All animals are great. I would probably be wary if it was like a tarantula or something. 

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

If they don’t really get my sarcasm/sense of humor… This is an official callout post to some of the girls I’ve spoken to on Her geez. 

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

I thought being gay was a terrible and gross thing to be. I don’t know if that counts?? But I only saw gay used as an insult on youtube. My parents never explained it to me so that was my first encounter with the term gay. God youtube also got 11 year old me saying lesbo and f*g before I even realized what it meant. ALSO jenna marbles made this one video called Girl Crush (i think) and when I was curious about my sexuality I found that. I thought all girls just weren’t attracted to boys and my crushes on girls was just a normal Straight thing to do. I mean that only repressed it until I was 14 until I called bullshit but still. That was more of a misconception about myself but I think it counts because I am a L person in the lgb. 

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

Listen man don’t stress too much about your sexuality. I know you feel like you’re lying to yourself and everyone around you if you don’t know EXACTLY who you are at this moment.. but you’ll figure it out. It’ll be fine and you won’t feel uncomfortable about it eventually. ALSO FUCK NICOLE YOU DON’T NEED HER SHE NEVER LOVED YOU. 

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?- not applicable 

16. who is an ex you regret?

I’m gonna say an ex-crush- Nicole because fuck her. 

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

Probably night club; they sound really fun and I can’t wait to go to one. 

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

pffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt no one. Plus I would “go” bisexual if anything?

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

Moviesssss!!

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

Pricefield from Life is Strange. 

21. favourite gay youtuber

I like watching Shane Dawson sometimes. (He’s bisexual though.)

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

Nooope. I’ve never asked anyone out period. I’m a coward. :)

23. have you ever been in love?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk. One sided love is a thing right? If it’s supposed to be mutual then no. 

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

yea

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

OKAY SO LIKE USUALLY I DONT GET THIS WHOLE THING. Like I’m usually just gay for people?? Like maybe I’ll like a certain feature of them that I want but I never wanna BE someone. If I like someone that much I probably just wanna be with them. 

26. favourite lgb musician/band

MY QUEEN HAYLEY KIYOKO I SAW HER IN CONCERT AND IM LOVE HER??

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

Figuring yourself out is a long process that you don’t need to rush. Feelings are hard to sort out and may take years. It’s okay to figure out something new about yourself and change your label. There’s no penalties in life, I promise. ALSO! Stay safe please. Don’t come out if you’re not comfortable. You’re not any less apart of this community if you’re not out.  

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

I mean yeah I’m “out.” Not to everyone I’ve ever known but to most of the people who matter. Stop here if you don’t wanna read every coming out story lmao. 

My first time actually coming out was in 9th grade. I told these two girls and they were totally fine with it. (one is still one of my best friends…. my other best friend now didn’t take it well since she’s religious. She tolerates it.) Then I told this other girl I was friends with and it was a disaster. Nicole was a fucking bitch and I’ll never forgive her. My mom found out because I was dropping hints and she asked me. She was totally fine with. I told my sister and she said she knew. I still don’t know how. Now fast forward almost 3 years… I tell my dad. It wasn’t great. He doesn’t “get” it and thinks he failed me somehow as a dad. But he said it was fine eventually but we still don’t generally speak about it. I told my grandma right after my dad a few months ago with a gay joke. She took it BAD. She said I’m not old enough to know what I want. She still refers to me marrying a man in the future. 

ANNNNND That’s all folks!

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

My grandma’s was the most uncomfortable. My other best friend was kinda strange. (The one who took it kinda bad.) I was venting to her how Nicole yelled at me for coming out and I completely forgot I never told her I wasn’t straight. It was super awkward when her eyes widened and she said, “Uh.. wait, you’re not straight?” and then I realized my mistake. 

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

As I said before, above all else STAY SAFE!!! That’s the number one priority for you. I know you want to express every wonderful part of who you are, but if there’s any possibility of having to face negative consequences while doing so… do not do it. Wait. Wait until you’re out of the toxic and unsafe environment. Also maybe find an outlet online? Tumblr or LGBT youtube usually did the trick for me. (Of course erase the browsing history haha). Always remember you’re not alone, even if it feels it. 

Okay…… that’s all of them wow. You’re amazing if you read even like a portion of that. Okie dokie thanks to the anon!!

[lumberjonathan-blog]

I meant to post this a long time ago, but I totally forgot. Whoops. This is a commission from Felix’s stream a while back from @ruffsnpuffs of their two little guys Kitt ( @megapoofs ) and Tez ( @shibakind ). I really loved drawing these two little cuties, and I hope I did them justice.

[tortuga-aak]

Here's what a 27-year-old London banker making $99,000 spends in a week

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A 27-year-old London banker describes what she spends in a typical week.

Her annual salary is £75,000 ($99,000).

She's already paid off her student loan.

Industry: Finance/ Banking

Age: 27

Location: London

Salary: £75k ($99,000)

Paycheque amount per month: Varies by month (depends on bonus), but usually £3.6k (I think?!)

Number of housemates: 3

  Monthly Expenses

Housing costs: £720 ($944)

Loan payments: £0 – paid off my student loan last month!

Utilities: Around £110  ($144) – including £25 ($32) a month for a weekly cleaner for the communal bits of the house.

Transportation: Usually I buy a monthly zone 1-2 travelcard for £130 ($170), but this month I’m doing without.

Phone bill: £45 ($59)

Health insurance: £0

Savings? I have set payments into a help-to-buy and a savings ISA each month where the maximum I can put in is £700 ($917). The idea is then to transfer anything else remaining at the end of the month into another savings account but due to lots of upfront costs for holidays, festivals, hen parties, etc earlier this year (plus an ability to leak money constantly!), I haven’t done this for a while.

Other: Insurance £6 ($7.80) monthly, Gym membership (with a hefty corporate discount through my company) £50 ($65), Times subscription + other magazine subscriptions – around £40 ($52) month, discounted ClassPass subscription £19 ($25).

Day One

William Iven / Unsplash

8.30am: Grab my usual (free-ish) Waitrose coffee on my way into work. I pay 50p for an extra shot of coffee. A double shot is especially needed today as it is my first day back at work after holiday. Full of good intentions, I have brought in some food from home – yoghurt and some cashew butter. My boss arrives just as I’ve finished my food, with lots of pastries for the team – which I can now resist.

11.30am: Morning dragging, grab another coffee and a bottle of water from work café between meetings as a reason to have a break from my desk. £3.15

2pm: Go for a quick lunchtime run and decide lunch made up of salad leftovers brought in from home is too measly. Buy a protein smoothie and raw avocado cheesecake to top up. Sort of healthy, even if annoyingly millennial. When I get back to my desk realise I was charged £2 too much. £8

4.15pm: Another random trip to escape the desk. Large overpriced tea from the work café. £1.80

6.20pm: Buy some stuff from Waitrose on way home including tonic water, fruit salad packs, yoghurt... I've got to do some interview prep when I get home tonight and a few G&Ts will make it less of a mindless way to spend the evening. £7.19

6.40pm: I put off going home by wandering into a few shops. Pick up some Nike leggings in the sale. Too lazy to try them on, I’ll return them later in the week if they’re no good. £25

6.40pm: Oyster top-up, usually I always just buy a monthly travelcard, however as I’ve only just got back from holiday and am out of London lots in the next month, better to just eke along on top-ups and weeklies. £38

Total: £83.64

Day Two

Tim Wright / Unsplash

7.20am: Out of the house early for my interview. It’s before work, but luckily not too far to travel to. Pick up a Nero coffee en route, and eat with the fruit salad pack I picked up last night. £2.10

9.45am: Grab my Waitrose coffee on my way into the office. I snack on free fruit provided by work when I’m at my desk (interview adrenaline has made me hungry). 50p

11.30am: Grab some bottled water and chewing gum from work café. £1.99

1pm: I go to a free lunchtime talk in my building and pick at some of the free crisps and flapjacks on the side. I don’t fancy the free sandwiches so instead grab a smoked salmon and grilled veg salad on my way back to my desk. I buy it from the place I got overcharged for my smoothie yesterday and explain (with a bit of a flirt) to the male cashier, and get the salad for a discounted price. £3

3.30pm: Fill up on free fruit and chocolates from colleagues' holidays. Remember I brought in a weird homemade oaty smoothie yesterday that I forgot to drink. Tastes rank, but finish it anyway. Pop out to buy bottle of sparkling water as something to do/ break from desk. 56p

5.30pm: Leave work on the dot and fit in a barre class. Grab a bottle of water and sushi pack en route. £2.10

7pm: Buy a protein smoothie post-class, and two granola yoghurt pots. Eat one, save one for tomorrow's breakfast. £11.50

8pm: Pub quiz with old housemates. £2 entry. We don’t do rounds as not everyone’s drinking, but I get two glasses of wine for me and my housemate as I end up eating half her squid when it arrives. £20.45

Total: £42.20

Day Three

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8.40am: Waitrose coffee en route to work. Eat yesterday’s granola pot at desk. 50p

10.45am: Run out for 15 minutes to return Nike leggings to assuage some money guilt (+23.95!). Already keeping this money diary has shown me how much money I leak – and so far I’m having a far cheaper week than usual. Grab bottle of sparkling water and some gum on the way back – know I buy lots of water, but cool with it as it's meant I’ve kicked my Diet Coke habit.

2pm: Weather is amazing!! Go for a run at lunchtime along the river, and I grab food afterwards en route back to my desk. I overspend on a mixed pay-by-weight salad bowl, and piece of homemade carrot cake. Clearly there is nothing subsidised about our work canteen. £11.85

3pm: Buy a candle and perfume from the White Co using an old gift card. Gift card covers everything except basically the P&P. Smug. £4

3.30pm: Iced frappe. £3.15

6.30pm: Diet Coke and some sweets for cinema with friends. £1.82

7pm: I bought tickets for the cinema ages ago because it’s a premiere screening. I buy a large glass of house red from the bar, and get given free ice cream. £7.25

9.45pm: Run into Whole Foods and grab a (very) modest serving of pulled pork and chipotle sweet potato. Eat it on the bus home, and feel guilty for being that person on public transport who stinks the bus out. Whoops. £5.18

Total: £9.80

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