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murderousphoenix · 8 months

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Lanceposting Wednesday!!! my best friend’s dad took the last one btw

#huhuhu #my baby my darling #lance stroll #ls18 #f1 #lanceposting #life update: i got my geography test back i was stressed about last week #i got an A!#was stressed about nothing basically #one step closer to working in f1 marketing!

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tapakah0 · 2 months

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#why no one told me that trying to get in the “grown up life” is so stressful when you have zero experience in a real work #All the skills you have are not enough #At the same time you didn't have rest at all after graduating because of the outside pressure #And I feel like I became deadly annoying #Let me complain a little bit I swear to god this is like 2 time after college when I want to complain at something I'm not that strong #What do you mean there is no sign “We want YOU as our worker!” ahagsha funny #I have to learn about 2 new programms on a basic level at least #Learn new things on Toon Boom #Prepare different portfolios when turns out I barely have something I can show #I was thinking too little and now I barely can think and I start being irritated at myself yet can do nothing since my brain rebels #Okayyy just 2 more months to see if something will turns out good out of what I will be doing

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redr0sewrites · 4 months

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i will forever defend these two- NOT to start discourse but they are both so heavily mischaracterized by the fandom its INSANE like omg yes they are flawed but they are also trying their best PLEASE leave them alone 🙏🙏🙏

as usual im yapping in the tags if anyone cares

#rose rambling #this is not directed at anyone #just some observations within the fandom ive noticed #i genuinely sympathize with jayce sm he may be making mistakes but he is trying his best under a stressful position #that he didn't even want to be in in the first place #there isn't a LOOT of people who are anti ekko or anything but he's genuinely so erased from fandom spaces #NOBODY TALKS ABOUT HIM and it makes me sad #or they completely mischaracterize him as this like emotionless stoic badass???#he literally cried during our first intro to him when he hugged vi but! sure!!!#but yea jayce and ekko are both of my favs #jayce is a problematic fav and ekko is an unproblematic fav who has done basically next to nothing wrong #jayce? hes flawed.#he killed a kid #hes classist #hes lowkey a capitalist #but he cares sooo much ab people around him and prioritizes viktor and mel over everyone else #even though everyone around him seems to only want to use him #and ekko? he was forced to grow up without the guidance of someone like silco or vander #he was ALONE when he built his safe haven #and he is so caring and emotional and SWEET and people just disregard so much of both of their characters #i could give character analysis' on both of them for HOURSSS #arcane #arcane theory #arcane ekko #ekko arcane #ekko #arcane jayce #jayce talis #jayce arcane #arcane jayce talis

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 4 months

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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?

put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings

#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work #eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help #so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that #HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and #the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be #1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on #2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels #3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships #4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player #like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying #what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting #and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out #so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet #and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much #so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps #like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together #letting each other help with each others' problems #thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity #so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping #as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures #the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did #vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened #eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him #and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him #and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player #and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do #im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck

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hecksupremechips · 5 months

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Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

#jhariah #this one just rawrrfrrr #and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice #im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it #god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like #hnnnghhh #hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot #the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM #sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke #but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me #and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards #the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome #the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear #its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe #but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill #and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill #you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit #and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it #and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was #very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me #which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me #yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍

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mokeonn · 6 months

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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

#simon says #to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb #you might not have done enough research #you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument #you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this #sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution #you do what you can to fight against the problem #you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem #and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem #like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue #but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face #they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you #and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing #sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that #i used this while talking with my Dad tonight #he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution #and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now #and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it #and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate #and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before #i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help #and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change #but all I really could do is the little things I have control over #and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over #like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet #which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue #and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best #so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment

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workingforitallthetime · 10 months

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Live from the annual turkey showdown!

#oh my god EVERYTHING about this video #the social media girlie patiently talking him through instagram basics #no wonder these idiots constantly dox themselves if they don't even understand not to go live with a rando on an official account #love that as soon as they told him he was live he turned his snapback around #the JOY when he saw moyle appear!!!!!#what was the comment about 'sheamo took off everything before he took off his...'???????#god i love the annual strip shootout and nothing is better than rutger narrating #why is frankie not dressed though?#saving this to watch forever and ever #nine minutes of pure perfection #'luca's starting to stress out a bit you can tell'

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princessdarth-vader · 5 months

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the fact that riz worked so hard to keep straight A+ grades all year only in the matter of like, a week to complete two nigh impossible tasks to, essentially, ensure all that work didn't matter and ace his grades anyway would legitimately keep me up at night at his age. I hope he gets like, a fucking medal or something. or, yknow, more cash from the school. he deserves it

#fhjy spoilers #fhjy #like im so serious right now id lose my mind #the whole party deserve an award for putting all that work into academics and having it ultimately not matter anyway #but riz found the rogue teacher AND passed the last stand in the space of like a week and thats great and awesome for him but #i think id explode realising i spent all that time working for nothing basically #i gen thought murph was gonna make a joke about “riz takes another stress token” during aguefort's speech bc. i would #agueforts adventuring academy owes this boy therapy money i think

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danielnelsen · 1 month

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peach (my cat) is having a full-day vet appointment to scan and possibly remove some teeth (the perks of only being allowed wet food)

completely unrelated, but anything regarding peach’s health or her being somewhere else or anything even mildly off with her routine or behaviour is probably by biggest anxiety and panic trigger

#not an exaggeration. peach stuff is more likely to give me panic attacks and entire breakdowns than anything else #like i have one other contender that’s a proper severe phobia. like panic attacks where i am completely convinced that i’m dying #but luckily that’s very situational whereas the peach anxiety is always there (because the situation of having her is always there)#i was gonna say the peach anxiety is also severely complicated by ocd but that’s probably more true for the other phobia i have so nevermind #but i will say. related to the ocd part. the fact that i am posting about this is a step forward for me #which i might talk about later once she’s home #hopefully they don’t need to extract any teeth and can just clean them #the last thing i need is for her to have trouble eating for a while #for context she had kidney stones a few years ago and basically each time she had about a 60% chance to survive #and there was NOTHING they could do other than just keeping her on fluids and hoping she passed them #(or $15k surgery to put in tubes to bypass her existing tubes. whatever tf the kidney tubes are called. which we couldn’t afford)#and whenever she had a new stone she would start by throwing up anything she ate or drank then stopping eating and drinking entirely #soooo i get stressed about stuff lmao 🙃🙃🙃🙃#anyway this is a good reason for me to be nocturnal so i can be asleep while she’s out rather than stressing #personal

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pathologising · 8 months

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sorry but I could never look at my own kids and be like "you owe ME" like I think if you do that you're a shitty parent

#vaguing about my bfs mom bc i just gkt off the phone with my mom abt how im stressed abt moving #and she was like oh have you tried asking either of gavins oarents to help the move or his grandparents .#they literally refuse despite his grandma and father having funds...yet his mom has the gall to asl for 500 dollars a month #while she pays for his brothers schooling and takes basically nothing from his bum ass no life brother #like ok now im angry because what did gavin do to u....be born? youre the one who cant keep your spending under control #and you want HIM to pay for your mistakes because he owes you by virtue of being your son? yet you do not uphold the same concept on your #other bum son ? okay whatever like i #CANNOT STAND THESE PEOPLE ANYMOREEEEEEE I #and then of course his dad is like 'pull urself up by ur bootstraps' YOU ARE INSANE AND ALSO A CHEATER I WANT TO HEAR NONE OF IT BALD NIGGA

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falldogbombsthemoon · 5 months

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Yk that mood, when you can't do any school work, bc you would need a clear mind for that, but you feel like you couldn't trust yourself being alone with thoughts rn?

#so you basically end up doing none of the work. knowing you need to do it so it turns into a fucking vicious circle #being able to take like a month off school without having to think about it all would help me quite a lot rn #but ofc that aint possible bc then i would be behind on school work wich would agaain make me more stressed #:3 yay #so uh great. prepared nothing for school tmr. writing a test and having no homework in 2 subjects #and ontop of that there might be another test tmr and that one teacher i dont have any homework for might just also rip my head off for that #someone get me out of school please :3 #tw vent #ig

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astros-arts-inthestars · 1 year

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I've worked on this for literal hours instead of my graduation cards because I would do anything for Aubrey Omori. Anyways

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUBREY OMORI!!!

I spent WAY too much time on this which. Ya know. Tracks when it comes to me because... well. Yeah.

Anyways I adore her so so much. She's amazing. She is literally amazing I would say so much more if I wasn't trying to be nORMAL

#omori #omori aubrey #aubrey omori #i really DO feel bad that i worked like. ....11 HOURS??????? NO WAY WHAT #IT WAS 11 HOURS??? WHAT???? I STAETED THE SKETCH AT 10 AM #well to be fair i stopped doodling when class ended at 12 and took a one hour nap where i woke up at 2 #....BUT STILL?????#like that . im so sorry to the other characters i've basically done nothing for this year?? IM SO SORRY???#but like... . . . aube r y .. .. .#....one pro of making art that you put a ridiculous amount of effort into is-#when you look back at it it just.. LOOKS SO GOOD. like. my god the whole time i was stressing about posting this on time but #looking at it now im just GRINNING goddd.... im so proud because its AUBREY LOOK AT HER.... i adore her.#this goes for other shit ive done too OBVI i am like the king of overzealous art #which is a good thing i guess...#...........there's. another version of this art that. i'm gonna post. .. somewhere else. actually.#hold on.#star art #ren's blorbos

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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months

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sneepy cozy....

#cats #(medical stuff mention for tags)#poasting confortable image of boye for peace and serenity and such forthe #I have little weird episodes sometimes where I get shaky (but like violently like 'would spill a drink if you were holding it beacuse #your hands are moving so much' type shaky) and weird and sick feeling but usually it passes in an hour or less. but last night I just #literally couldnt sleep I was shaking so much and my heartrate was up a ton and wouldn't go down even after like 6 hours plus super nausea #so I went to the hospital and now shall wear a heart monitor for a week. which hopefully it's just some weird drastic low blood sugar #event or something and there's nothing actually going on. ekg + ct scan for blod clots + virus panel + almost all of the blood work seems #normal so... aa.......#Though me being so privacy focused hrggh... I basically have a constantly bluetooth connected device around me #since the monitor comes with a cell phone that is constantly transmitting data to the place. which they said they'll call you #if they see anything weird which is also scary. random phone calls... but definitely better than letting an issue go unadressed lol #the phone is also not meant to be more than 10 feet away from the monitor at any time so I put on this old tactical fishing #vest thing thats like navy green with 100 pockets and im just using one of the giant pocketson the side as a phone holder #my enormous silly vest just to keep one little phone #ANYWAY... because I got up early the morning before and didn't sleep at all and spent nearly all day in waiting rooms and such #I have been awake for like 32 hours striaght. which I'm sure also does not help with an elevated heartrate lol #feeling shrimp emotions or whatever people talk about unlocking at a certain level of stress and sleep deprivation #and also no food or water. after a while they brought me like 3 saltines and some ice water but I basically also haven't eaten since 3am #last night and it's 2pm now..#thus............ bapy............. baby boye....... he will help ease all ailments with his baby powers...#And no I dont drink energy drinks or anything with caffiene really I'm afraid of all substances on the planet essentially #My body just likes to become shaky and weird randomly even when I'm not conciously anxious about anything/have had no caffiene/etc #and I guess I'm always more nervous about getting anything heart related checked out because of my arm/shoulder/chest area injury stuff #... i literally have constant chest pain all the time. it moves around but i nearly always have some sort of pain or pressure in my chest #so when people are like 'oh well a little weird heartrate is fine but watch out if you have pain!' it's like... i always do lol.. how am I #supposed to tell the Bad Pain apart from the Always Pain when the descriptions of Bad Pain are very very similar #AAAANYway.... hrghh... i wanted to be very productive and finally post drafts and wrok on things today. but alas..#I can at least post small image of soft boye.. though he recently got into stuff in the bathroom whilst left #alone and knocked things into the toilet.. So perhaps not an innocent and NICE boy.. but still.. a soft one .. beautfile....

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exopelagic · 2 months

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WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME BURROWS END WASNT FREE

#I DIDNT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT BUT STILL. SOMEONE SHOULDVE WARNED ME BEFORE I GOT COMPLETELY INVESTED #I know next to nothing abt dimension 20 I’m pretty sure I just saw a post abt burrows end specifically MONTHS ago and was like 👀👀👀#opened a tab with the first episode to watch later and promptly forgot about it #until last night! having a bad night and was like hrm what if I just watch smth #and I’ve been reading watership down recently!! finally got my own copy bc it was my favourite book when I was like NINE #so I am fully primed to fall in love with a story abt little animals rn and man #I am OBSESSED with this and also realising yeah I’m at a point where I could get very into tabletop rpgs now #what if. what if I just get dropout. what if I just do that. would that not be fun. I would like to see the stoats do stuff #i am so in love with Ava and her player and I understand so much more about brennan lee mulligan now. and VIOLA #viola may be my favourite character I’m obsessed with how she interacts with other characters.m #i NEED to know what’s up with thorn’s cult thing. and also thorn. what is going on there #hrrgrhehh the thing that’s holding me back is I’m allergic to subscriptions #impermanence. even though I know it’s fairly unlikely I’ll wanna watch it again any time soon I don’t like the idea that I’d have to like #in a couple years pay for it again or not be able to bc I can’t afford it even though I already paid for it once #I’m a books + cartridge games guy and it shows.#okay. I will chew on this. the price is not unreasonable and I have coincidentally also been looking at make some noise clips #it does not help that I basically never watch things but my favourite podcast is also ending within the next month (2 episodes left)#and this IS primarily audio so I could cook + watch mayhaps. and I’ve heard good things abt all other d20.#they have a 20% off first year deal on. annual would make me less stressed long term if I end up liking this bc cheaper + choice premade #and would also mean I can do it now and not feel bad abt wasting the first month bc I won’t be able to watch much for a few weeks #fuck it I’m allowed to make frivolous purchases sometimes I will simply swallow the subscription distaste #more stoats >:)#that aside all the players are incredible I’m pretty sure when this is done I’ll wanna watch other seasons just to see what else they do #okay go do the thing I believe in you you can spend money sometimes #luke.txt #update I downloaded the app. I am putting off the decision for another day now bc it’s 1:21am and I have not been thinking clearly <3

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disdaidal · 10 months

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So, I met my nurse today and she said I'm finally getting scheduled for the ADHD testing on Dec 18th—after all these years. Albeit she said that it may not change a thing, but it's good to test it anyway.

I also had a discussion with my teacher today about my problems and we went through some stuff, and I might feel a little bit more enlightened about some things, which will hopefully help me.

Still. I'm having trouble with planning some stuff at my workplace because the staff there simply doesn't have time, and my instructor is also a very busy person (plus she's fussy and impatient and a little upset/disappointed with me which is not making it any easier for me), so that is still giving me a lot of stress right now.

So, I don't know. On the other hand, one teacher says I'm doing a good job and that I shouldn't quit. Then again, this particular school and their style of teaching simply might not be the thing for me and I expressed that concern today as well. I need help getting through with some stuff and nobody has time for me, so it's obviously not good.

I also need to find another place to train soon and that workplace would have to be something where I wouldn't have to manage 15 things at the same time and well. Finding that could be a challenge, too.

But. I suppose we're going somewhere.

#personal #last week i cried twice after a workday #and my nurse also mentioned today that i still have a learning disability which will definitely make things harder for me #but also that there's nothing that can be done about it so... great #so i mentioned this to my teacher and she wrote it down but #basically there are only two choices for me now #either i pass this training somehow and plan my displays at my current workplace so well that i never have to do this again #or i will only complete my training for this period and then find another workplace and do my displays there #i can't postpone them much later apparently or so i understood. so they are not giving a lot of choices there really #and we did talk about me considering another school as well #where i can spend more time in the classroom actually learning things and less time working and trying to study at the same time #because this clearly isn't working for me. i can't do two things at the same time. not well at least. and i want to do well #but i tried applying for that kind of school in this field last summer. i didn't get in & i was 8th in line #i would've gotten in working with kids instead. but that school was further away and i probably would've found it even more stressful #than what i'm doing now #so i don't know. this is so fucking stressful for me honestly #like i like what i'm doing but i also really hate what i'm doing because this also requires stuff from me that i am simply not good at #and i'd have to put extra energy into it but i don't have much energy in me right now tbh #ugh

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 5 months

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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

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