#was supposed to be yesterday. had a panic attack. bad. but they had to reschedule anyway. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

timeoverload · 2 months

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Today wasn't great but it could have been worse I guess. I managed to avoid having a panic attack earlier. I had 12 cases this morning and that wasn't too bad. I had 18 cases this afternoon so I got slammed. I was not too happy about that but I survived. I also got out of there on time so that was good.

That guy that has a crush on me was saying weird shit again today. He told me he is going to nursing school. He told me that he needed help learning to change people. He basically asked if he could practice on me. He immediately said he was kidding, but I was disgusted. I yelled at him and left the room for a little bit. I want to talk to the director about his behavior but I don't know if it will do any good. I have gone to talk to him about the other creepy guy at work, and I feel like he didn't take me seriously then because nothing got resolved for months so I had to continue to be around him. I don't know if my boss would be able to do anything about it. I don't know what to do. I have already made it very clear that I'm not interested in him but he is persistent. I am probably going to have to go to HR at some point.

I'm pretty sure I tore the disc in my back again yesterday when I was in decontam. I have still had pain since my injection, but it has been manageable until now. I thought my tear was slowly healing but I overdid it and I lifted too much. I was moving too fast because I wanted to be as efficient as I used to be. I regret it. I haven't felt like this in a while. I want to take a muscle relaxer but I'm not going to. My legs feel like jello because I had to move too much earlier. I hate this.

Maxwell, I have also been frustrated today. I don't think that you actually expected me to apply for that job and now you don't know what to do. I'm sorry if I surprised you in a bad way, but I'm not afraid of you. I might be quiet and shy, but I have more guts than you think. I want to keep things moving and it's impossible because you are so stubborn! I am trying to show some initiative. I'm not going to apologize for wanting to spend time with you. You also told me that I need to "put myself out there more", and I did, so why can't you do the same? I'm not trying to stress you out but I think that maybe you should take your own advice. Now you know how I felt every time I had to do something that scared me to come see you. It's not a good feeling to be that anxious and I'm sorry you have to experience that. I felt like i was going to die and I know it sucks. That feeling isn't going to go away until you take action. It's not going to kill you and you will feel better when it's over. We will both feel better. After that happens, we won't have to get stressed out about seeing each other and everything will be great.

I don't really want to keep trying to search for other jobs. I might have to because I am so miserable and no one has gotten back to me. Maybe I don't have the right qualifications so I guess I understand that. I don't really want to go anywhere else other than the shop. I think it might be difficult to get a job now since I have a lot of tattoos. Honestly, I will probably feel humiliated if I don't get that job. It is going to make it hard for me to go back, even though I have an appointment next month. I might have to reschedule when it gets closer if I am still sad about it. I don't want to have to do that but I don't want to burden anyone with my tears. I'm not saying I will never go back, but it's not going to be easy. I am just going to warn you about that now. I don't like feeling rejected and I don't want to cause any problems either. We will see what happens I suppose.

I am also frustrated because I don't understand why you are still being mean to yourself. I don't understand why you can't accept that you are a wonderful person. You are not ugly at all. I try to compliment your appearance often and I have told you that I think you are handsome many times. You are a beautiful man. I don't think that I am shallow, but I don't think that I would settle for somebody that I wasn't extremely attracted to. Do you really think that I would want to have a baby with someone that I didn't find attractive? I think that we would make cute babies. When you say negative things about yourself, I feel like my words of encouragement aren't reaching you. I feel sad when I don't feel like the things I say make a difference. I am going to kick your ass (affectionate) if I hear you putting yourself down again! I think that maybe your negative view of yourself could be affecting your relationships.

I think that you are very smart and incredibly talented. You are very good looking. You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen. I love your hair. You also can make me laugh so that's a bonus. I love that we have a lot of the same interests. I'm glad that we share the same views about politics and the world. You have a nice personality and you are unique. I like that you are sensitive and caring. I love that you make me feel special. I know that you can be very sweet and I want you to show me that. You are everything I want in a partner. There's no one else that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I really hope things get better soon. I love you so much no matter what. 💖💖💖

Anyway, I have other shit that I need to do tonight and it's already after 8:30. I don't have much of an appetite because I have been stressed. I am going to have to eat something cold because hot food is nauseating when I feel like this. I have some boost in the fridge too. I will be ok. I think I need to put some ice on my back and try to relax. I am enjoying being able to have my window open since it is so nice outside. I am going to do my best to get to bed earlier than I have the past 2 nights. I am so tired. I am hoping that tomorrow won't be as hectic and I'll try to make it a good day.

I hope everyone else has a great day tomorrow. 💖💖💖

#personal

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inkribbon796 · 3 years

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What a Beautiful Wedding Ch. 5: For the Dancing and the Dreaming

Summary: Dark and his family try and get out of their little reality bubble.

A/N: I should have had this out yesterday, but someone *glares at Chase* were being difficult.

Title comes from the song “For the Dancing and the Dreaming” from How to Train your Dragon 2.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

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Channel 2

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The instant Dark mentally came back to himself he pulled everyone back into the Manor. But he also found that Anti and Henrik were within the same bubble as well and grabbed them as well.

The instant he started explaining things everyone started waking up.

“Who knows how long we’ll be here,” Dark finished.

“At least ve’re avake,”[1] Henrik decided from where he was standing with Chase.

Illinois, who had only been away for the past couple of minutes, was trying to remember where he’d been before this before remembering he’d been at his wedding and flying into an immediate panic.

“Eric!” Illinois realized with horror.

He got up and raced through the front door, he planned on running all the way to the park but the instant his feet were outside the door he was already reaching the chain link fence to Eric’s backyard.

But Illinois was not deterred, he was getting his fiancé back if it was the last thing he did. Illinois practically vaulted himself over the chain link fence.

“Eric, dulcito[2],” Illinois called up outside his window before thinking: “screw it!” and used his lock picks to break in and start creeping towards Eric’s room. He’d save punching this fake Derek until he was sure Eric was safe.

Just because he wasn’t real, and more importantly dead, that didn’t mean he could cause Eric a lot of pain.

Eric was asleep when Illinois walked up to his bed and shook him away.

“Dulcito,[2] we’re going home.”

Eric screamed in surprise, and Illinois held his hands up.

“It’s me, it’s me,” Illinois said, already starting to cry in relief. “We need to get home, we got dragged in and . . . please forgive me.”

Eric flinched before letting out a quiet gasp, “Illy?”

He practically threw himself into Illinois’s arms, starting to sob profusely as Illinois held him.

“I’m so sorry, I should have rescheduled the wedding, it should have been the happiest day of your life,” Illinois apologized.

“I wanna go home,” Eric told him, and went to move before he felt a sharp pain stab through his legs, mostly from stress, mostly from not having his actual good prosthetics all day and having to make do with bad ones.

“Eric?” Illinois asked in distress.

“My legs,” Eric sobbed in pain.

“I got you,” Illinois promised, picking him up in his arms.

Eric clung tightly to Illinois’s shirt, and then coiled up when a pounding came from the other side of the door.

The timid young man let out a terrified whimper.

“Eric what’s going on in there?” Derek yelled, trying to break down the door. “Who’s voice is that? Open this door!”

“Shit,” Illinois hissed, prepared to fight Derek.

“Illinois should start walking, quickly before Derek can enter,” the Host spoke up.

Illinois and Eric startled but out of reflex, Illinois began to start walking. He took two steps and suddenly he wasn’t in Eric’s home, he was running into his own. And the whiplash just about made him go unconscious. If he hadn’t been aware he was in a sitcom from hell, he wouldn’t have felt a thing.

“What was that?” Illinois looked around wildly. They were walking into the living room of the Manor.

“The Host used a screen wipe,” the Host smiled.

“This whole place is a shithole,” Illinois snarled as he rushed to carefully set Eric down on the comfiest-looking couch. “The laugh tracks were already giving me a migraine, thanks for stopping them.”

“The Host was not a fan of them either,” the Host agreed.

The instant he realized they were back in the house, Dark checked them over briefly when they came over and then Illinois set Eric on the couch and the two of them almost immediately fell asleep, wrapped up together. Dark stretched a blanket over them and then walked into the kitchen.

Mostly to collect his thoughts and figure out some kind of plan of attack. If it was just himself, Dark would worm his way out and hunt the Actor down. But he wasn’t alone. There was Lunky and Eric to consider, along with the triplets. All of them had no hope of standing against the Actor on their own. He couldn’t see what was out there, and didn’t want to take his chances.

“How yeh holdin’ up?”[3] Chase asked.

Dark was sitting at the large dinner table, he had a coffee in front of him. He wasn’t sure where or when he’d gotten the coffee from but he had it.

The sooner he was out of here, the better. He didn’t like how easily it was for the anomaly to pull him around.

“I’d think you’d want out as soon as possible,” Dark told him.

“Well nothin’s[4] happened yet,” Chase told him and walked over. “Sides,[5] at this point we should prolly[6] stick together.”

“You can do that perfectly fine in any other room,” Dark told him, trying to sound uncaring but he could still remember waking up with Chase in the morning.

“Yeah, but I was worried about yeh,” Chase told him, not taking a seat yet and just leaning against the table. “Sides,[5] Bim was growlin’[7] at me, so I decided ta[8] give him his space.”

“I’m fine,” Dark told him sharply.

“Kay,”[9] Chase agreed, not wanting to push him. The two of them were quiet for a bit.

“What do you want?” Dark growled.

“I told yeh[10],” Chase started.

“No, you’ve given me some thinly veiled plot,” Dark glared, “but not what you actually want. Is it the triplets? Is it boredom? Everyone wants something.”

“What if I just want you? Have yeh[10] thought about that?” Chase asked.

“Don’t play with me, Brody,” Dark scoffed angrily. “What do you want?”

Something in Chase just snapped, something that was always compelling him to take care of Dark. “I’m not fookin’ jokin’. I actually wanna be with yeh. Yeh frustratin’, self-absorbed piece ‘a shite. If I was gonna lead yeh on, I’d be actin’ like Wilf.”[11]

Dark’s jaws clicked shut and he glared at Chase.

Sighing, Dark tried to tune out the anomaly, which was whispering to him. The most tempting of whispers. To just push everyone else out and the anomaly could give Dark what he wanted. Could give him the power he wanted. Could give him a version of Wilford that would never look away from him. Children who would always need him.

It was so tempting, but Dark knew better. The anomaly couldn’t give him that infinitely. It would falter, it just wanted a living battery to feed off of.

“Dark?” Chase whispered, taking a seat next to the Entity. His tone gentler as his anger was fading.

“I can open a portal to let you through, but I don’t know how long I can keep it open,” Dark told him. “I also don’t know what’s out there. We’ll have to be careful. We need to make sure the weaker spawnlings do not go out first.”

“Sounds good ta[8] me, but heads up, Illinois isn’t goin’[12] anywhere without yah[10],” Chase chuckled. “Kid’s a little needy when it comes ta[8] yah[10].”

“Illinois has Eric now, he doesn’t need me,” Dark corrected. “I was safe in here, he was a child again. Once we go back out I have to prepare his territory, I have all these arrangements to make and—”

“Dark, Dark,” Chase urged. “Listen ta yerself. Yer Illinois’s dad.”[13]

“Wilford is his father,” Dark reinforced.

“Bubbles didn’t raise him, you did,” Chase reminded sharply. “Wilf went off an’[14] did whate’er[15] the hell he wanted. You made sure the kids were safe. Granted he didn’t have a choice sometimes but the point stands.”

“I can’t have children,” Dark said, but it was his blue soul that put the words there. “I’m not allowed near them. Demons don’t feel things like love or joy, they just exist.”

“We both know that’s not true,” Chase told him, desperately trying to get through to him. “Yeh[10] adore those kids. E’eryone[16] in this whole fookin’[17] town knows that.”

Dark went quiet, hanging his head, he didn’t have a firm rebuttal for that. “I . . . I’m not . . .”

“Those kids are yers[18] as much as they are his. Our boys an’[14] Tempus are just as much yers[18] as they are mine,” Chase told him. “Yeh can have ‘em an’ see ‘em just ‘cause yeh want ta. Not because yeh need ta pay fer ‘em.”[19]

Chase mentally froze because that last part had just slipped out, he’d never considered . . . He mentally thought about Memento and Mori and how the two of them would show him knives and things Dark had just given them. Of Illinois and his adventurers and power within the city. Or Bim and how Dark just let him literally eat people. “Dark yeh know yeh don’t have ta buy yer own kids’ attention, right? They fookin’ love yeh.”[20]

Dark made a disbelieving scoff.

“Dark, they compete fer yer attention whene’er yer in the room,”[21] Chase told him. “Why do yeh[10] think Bim an’[14] Illinois are fightin’[22] all the time?”

“Siblings just do that,” Dark dismissed.

Chase looked up, “Oh my how are yeh[10] this fookin’[17] dense? Dark, yer[23] lucky yer[23] cute.”

A slightly darker grey blush briefly spread across Dark’s cheeks, he looked away from Chase for a second.

“If that’s how yeh[10] think siblings are supposed ta[8] act, did Damien an’[14] Celine participated in death matches or somethin’[24]?” Chase commented, trying to lighten the mood.

“Something to that effect,” Dark admitted. “Celine was always the favorite because she was able to perform magic. Their father was very harsh with Damien because he was a null. If he hadn’t died the way he did, he would have surely become a demon.”

“Yer[25] old man was a fooker[26],” Chase told him. “Maybe I should have Host use the anomaly ta[8] brin’[27] him back so I can kick him in the dick.”

“Only if I can kill him for keeping me prisoner in his house for decades,” Dark promised.

Chase smiled, before really looking at Dark. “I was serious early.”

“About which topic?” Dark asked.

“I’m exactly where I want ta[8] be,” Chase promised, finally saying when he’d been trying to remember to tell the Entity for months now. “There’s no one else I want ta[8] be with.”

“You’ll get bored,” Dark told him.

“Yeh[10] managed ta[8] keep stuff interestin’[28] in all the years I’ve known yeh[10],” Chase smiled.

“You’re human,” Dark reminded.

“Depends on who yeh[10] ask these days, don’t think I’ve got many ‘a[29] those years left,” Chase confessed. “Henz an’ Marv prolly don’t either. ‘Sides, if someone does manage ta kill me, I’ll make sure my ghost comes back an’ haunts yeh. I’ll bang some pots an’ shite. Make sure yeh know it’s me.”[30]

Dark’s brow furrowed, he was still looking for something. Then, “You’re with the heroes, if you wanted to be with me, you wouldn’t have turned me down when I asked.”

“That wasn’t me turnin’ yeh down, that was me sayin’ no ta bein’ yer hired gun,”[31] Chase told him in exasperation. “I don’t mind the dates, but I’m not killin’ fer yeh.”[32]

Dark wasn’t looking at him, Chase inched a little closer.

“Here, I’ll use my regular equipment, we can make it look howe’er realistic an’ fancy yeh want, an’ I’m there. But I’m not killin’ on yer order. Defending yeh or the kids is one thing. But becomin’ yer private hitman is off the table.”[33]

“That sounds reasonable,” Dark told him.

Chase just about had the urge to lean in all the way and kiss him. But he felt it was all going too fast. This was still so new. So he didn’t.

Instead, Wil broke the silence.

“Awww,” Wilford suddenly appeared next to them, smiling and wrapping his arms around the two of them. “Look at the two of you.”

“Don’t push yer[25] luck, Bubbles,” Chase snapped at him.

Wilford just hugged them tighter, pressing his face closer to Chase’s until the marksman pushed Wil away and kicked him in the shins, cursing at him as he did so. Dark rolled his eyes as he watched them.

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Outside the bubbles, the heroes were busy popping the next one they’d jumped into. Freeing Nate, Mare, Marvin, and Quackity among the other heroes, villains, and civilians they’d pulled free.

Phantom was a bit disoriented and started looking around, trying to find an easy escape.

“I had awesome power, this better be worth it,” Quackity rolled his eyes as he looked around. “Where’s Dream?”

“Still in one of the bubbles,” Punz answered.

Quackity stared at Punz for a little bit before smiling, “Hey Punz, how much would I have to pay you to have us just leave Dream in there?”

“Twice what you pay Purpled,” Punz told him, checking his guns.

“Fuck!” Quackity hissed, kicking some rubble. “Come on, dude!”

Another rumble passed through the area as one of the bubbles began to ripple violently and two tendrils snapped out of it, one shot out like lightning and attached itself to the bubble Dark was in while the other snatched up Phantom and pulled him in.

When the first tendril latched on it dragged Dark away from Chase and Wil and before anyone had any time to think it yanked him in and Dark’s bubble popped. The bubble started rapidly growing in size, and it yanked the smallest bubble into it and consumed it. It stopped swelling when it was twice its former size.

“The fuck was that?” Illinois shouted from where he’d dropped to the ground, looking around wildly. “Was that the Actor?”

“No, the Actor does not have the anomaly,” the Host said as he began inspecting the area with his own aura. “That bubble contains Techno and Phil and with the absence of other stories, the anomaly is desperately trying to keep what it does have. Its hold is weakening. Which means the Host will not be able to keep the Actor at bay for much longer.”

“Do you know who are in the other bubbles?” Ponk asked. “Be really nice to have fucking Skeppy right now.”

“I’m right here,” Marvin shot at him.

“I give you one of these books and Skeppy will kill me,” Ponk told him.

“Hey, wait a second, is that one ‘a[29] the,” Marvin recognized the spell book he had as one of the cursed tomnes he’d been trying to get from the Server for months now.

Ponk held the book to their chest, backing up, “Uh . . .”

Sam shouldered his way in-between, shoving Marvin back as he summoned his trident. “We don’t have time to wait around.”

Ponk just stared up at Sam, leaning into him before they looked back at the Host. “So who’s where? Where’s Skeppy and Bad?”

“That one,” the Host gestured to the bubble higher up, “however it needs to be loosened by another two bubbles before it pops. There are too many powerful demons in there powering it.”

“Okay,” Ponk sighed in frustration.

“Techno, Philza, Big Man, and Ghostbur,” the Host pointed with his aura to the largest bubble that Dark and Phantom had been dragged into.

He continued to the farthest one, “That one has the Actor and all of Silver’s friends.”

“Fucker,” Silver spat, trying to fly towards that bubble at top speed but bounced off. “Give me my friends back!”

“And the last one’s got the Sides in it?” Bing asked from where the Google androids were encircled around him.

“That’s the strongest one,” Nate grumbled in frustration. “Why’s he in that one?”

“Because the entire legate is in there, it is likely it will be one of the last to pop for that reason. On its own it’s indefinitely sustainable.”

“Shit, he’s like a living battery,” Nate hissed.

“I’m going in,” Illinois decided, looking at the bubble Dark was in.

“Stay here with Explosion Boy,” Chase told Illinois, gesturing to Eric.

“My dad’s—” Illinois started to shout.

“Let us handle it, we can’t have all ‘a[29] our magically powerful people in one easy ta[8] capture area, stay with yer[25] fiancé,” Chase told him. “I’ll make sure nothin’[34] happens ta[8] him.”

“If I see there are any problems, I’m going in,” Illinois told him.

“Fine, that’s fine,” Chase told him, then he looked back at Jackie. “Jackie, come on.”

The Host lowered the bubble Dark had been dragged into and then ripped a hole in the bubble long enough for Jackie and Chase to go in.

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Channel 6

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Jackie and Chase walked in and a wave passed over them as their outfits changed. Snow buffeted them as they stood in thick warming fur coats and wool clothes.

Jackie was still in his mask but their clothes colors had changed to deep purples and dark reds

“Let’s go,” Chase yelled over the snow as they followed the road and hoped it would lead to a town.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. At least we’re awake.

2. sweetheart

3. How are you holding up?

4. nothing’s

5. Besides

6. probably

7. growling

8. to

9. Okay

10. you

11. I’m not fucking joking. I actually want to be with you. You frustrating, self-absorbed piece of shit. If I was going to lead you on, I’d be acting like Wilf.

12. going

13. Listen to yourself. You’re Illinois’s dad.

14. and

15. whatever

16. everyone

17. fucking

18. yours

19. You can have them and see them just because you want to. Not because you need to pay for them.

20. Dark, you know that you don’t have to buy your own kids’ attention, right? They fucking love you.

21. Dark, they compete for your attention whenever you’re in the room,

22. fighting

23. you’re

24. something?

25. your

26. fucker

27. bring

28. interesting

29. of

30. Henz and Marv probably don’t either. Besides, if someone does manage to kill me, I’ll make sure my ghost comes back and haunts you. I’ll bang some pots and shit. Make sure you know it’s me.

31. That wasn’t me turning you down, that was me saying no to being your hired gun

32. I don’t mind the dates, but I’m not killing for you.

33. Here, I’ll use my regular equipment, we can make it look however realistic and fancy you want, and I’m there. But I’m not killing on yer order. Defending you or the kids is one thing. But becoming your private hitman is off the table.

34. nothing

#superhero au #masks and maladies #darkiplier #ahwm illinois #illinois the adventurer #eric derekson #chase brody #wilford warfstache #the host #darkaverage #darkstache #angst #feels #what else are they supposed to do with these feels?#dark’s got a lot of issues

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withloveaimee · 5 years

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Black Spots & Red Cheeks

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays @alwaysinstoryland!

I was your ML Secret Santa (@mlsecretsanta ) this year~ I really hope you like this Ladrien soulmate fic I came up with. I’m so sorry if it’s bad. I’ve never actually written many ladrien fics, so I’m really happy you requested it! It was a lovely challenge, and I do hope you enjoy it!!

Read it here on AO3

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It was hard enough for Adrien to admit to himself that Ladybug was his soulmate. But having to tell–or rather show–someone else, made his reality all too real.

“Woah, dude. I thought you were lying.”

“I really wish I was.”

“And it’s like...all over your body?”

Adrien nodded as he bent down to throw his shirt back on. “You seriously can’t tell anyone, Nino. I mean it.”

“I wasn’t going to. But dude,” Nino shook his head as he watched him adjust his long sleeves. “How have you been hiding that from your dad? You’re a model.”

“Well, it turns out being Lady Luck’s soulmate can have its perks,” Adrien sighed as he put on a set of gloves. “When they first showed up, my photographer was out sick so shoots had been cancelled. And my dad has been out of town, so they didn’t want to reschedule anything yet.”

“And today during p.e.—”

“D’Argencourt actually let me sit out for once because I wasn't feeling well.”

“Damn, Adrien.” Nino let out a low whistle before taking a seat next to his friend. “But dude, you know what this means right?”

“That eventually the luck will run out and my dad will kill me once he sees the spots?”

“No! Well–yes–but not the point,” Nino said, giving Adrien a reassuring pat on the back. “Dude, this means your soulmate is a freaking superhero. That’s awesome!”

Adrien let out a loud groan as he rubbed his hands down his face. “No, it’s the exact opposite of awesome. It’s the worst thing that could have possibly happened to me!”

“What? C’mon dude, you’re over exaggerating. I thought you liked her.”

“I do, I do,” Adrien backtracked. He let out a sigh. “It’s just—it was hard enough trying to get her to notice me. Imagine if she finds out the one time she did, she got a soulmate out of it.”

“Wait a minute,” Nino held up his hand as he stared pointedly back. “What do you mean ‘if’ she finds out? You’re not gonna tell her?”

“Of course not!” Adrien answered quickly, shaking his head back and forth. “I can’t do that to her! She’s...Ladybug! And I’m just me.”

“ Just you —Oh my god, dude!” Nino grabbed onto his best friend’s shoulders and gave them a hard shake. “Ladybug would be– is –even luckier to have you as her soulmate. You’re an amazing guy, the nicest I’ve ever met, not to mention a goddamn model. Heck, if I hadn’t already met Alya, I would have married you if I could!” He finished, his amber eyes gleaming with sincerity.

Adrien bit back a laugh before turning back down to stare at the floor. “I-I don’t know, Nino. We barely said two words to each other when we met. I don’t want to worry her with soulmate stuff on top of her already difficult duties.”

“You still have to tell her!” Nino argued. “If not for yourself than just to get rid of your mark so your dad won’t murder you when he comes home.”

Adrien scoffed loudly. “Oh yeah, I’ll just randomly go up to her while she’s fighting an akuma and say: ‘Hi, Ladybug. I don’t know if you remember me, but when you saved me a few days ago from my bodyguard when he was akumatized into a huge gorilla–sorry about that by the way–turns out when you touched me, my soulmate mark was activated and I magically woke up with black spots all over my body. It’s a really inconvenient soul mark though, so I need you to kiss me so they go away.’ Yeah, that’ll be a great first conversation.”

Nino burst out laughing as Adrien groaned loudly, covering his face with his hands. “Stop it! It’s not funny!”

“No, it really is.”

“Ugh!”

Adrien stared at himself through the reflection of his window pane. He pinched at his long sleeve shirt and frowned as a pair of black and green gloves blocked the touch of cotton. He knew he couldn’t keep hiding the spots under his clothes. Nino was right.

He just really wished he wasn’t.

“Talk to her,” Nino said again, walking over to place a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be alright, Adrien. You are soulmates after all.”

Adrien sighed, staring back out into the quiet Parisian streets. “Fine, I’ll try. But it’s not like I’ll see her anytime soon anyway…” he glanced back toward Nino who gave him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. “It took two years for her to even notice me. Getting her alone enough to talk to her about this will take all the luck in the world.”

･｡ﾟ*. ･｡ﾟ*. ･｡ﾟ*.

Adrien should have known not to underestimate the power of his newfound luck, especially now with Ladybug as his soulmate. But what he didn’t expect was his luck to change in the middle of the street the next day as a large mechanical bird rampaged the streets of Paris.

He ran, barely dodging a round, metal egg as it crashed into an abandoned bus.

“I never should have left Nino,” Adrien muttered to himself as he dodged again, this time an egg whizzing past his left ear and crashing a few feet in front of him. His heart raced as he looked around for a safe hiding place, panic quickly settling in when he realized he was trapped in rubble, the akuma raging closer in the distant. “Please don’t let me die here.”

And as if his prayers were answered, a familiar blur of red swung in front of him and Adrien could only gasp as a strong grip wrapped around his waist. He felt his body being lifted into the air and he craned his next around to see Ladybug with a look of frustration written clear on her face.

“What were you doing over there, Adrien? You were supposed to evacuate!”

His heart raced as he felt his cheeks blush. She remembered his name! The spots all over his body began to feel warm as her fingertips tightened around his waist. He stared at her bright bluebell eyes, so expressive and clear. He had seen her just days prior, but he didn’t think he could ever get tired of seeing her so beautiful up close.

A clearing of a throat brought him back to reality as his stomach lurched back into himself; Ladybug taking a sharp turn, their bodies twirling in midair as they dodged a flying egg.

He quickly shook his head. “I-I got separated,” he finally answered, turning away from his lady to focus on clearing his mind.

He felt her nod her head. “I see. Well then, I’m glad I found you in time.”

Adrien turned in a daze as she glanced back down at him, a small smile gracing her pale pink lips. He swallowed hard as he felt his cheeks blush a bright red.

She landed on a rooftop a whiles away from the akuma where other civilians had gathered to look upon the attack. They all murmured in excitement as Ladybug set him down carefully, unwrapping her arm from his waist. He muttered a quick thanks, blushing again when she smiled back.

“Adrien!” They turned as Nino ran towards them, a look of relief on his face as he pulled his best friend into a hug. “I was looking all over for you, dude!”

Adrien patted his back, still looking at Ladybug who was averting her eyes. “Y-Yeah. Sorry, Nino. I-I got...stuck.”

Nino pulled back, looking between the two as an awkward air settled between them.

Ladybug cleared her throat before she looked back out into the city, eyeing the akuma warily as it continued to wreak havoc onto Paris. “W-Well, I’ll leave you with your friend then, Adrien. Please try and stay out of trouble this time.”

“A-Alright, Ladybug.” He answered, pinching at his long sleeves, the black spots burning hotter than ever.

Ladybug nodded before throwing her yo-yo out and disappearing in a red flash.

Nino stared at him, his amber eyes glaring sharply.

“What?” Adrien asked, averting his gaze.

“You didn’t tell her.” Nino said, his question sounded more like a statement.

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Of course not, Nino. This would be the worst time to tell her actually,” He pointed forward as they watched Ladybug enter the battle once more.

He has always loved watching Ladybug fight. Every battle was like a choreographed dance, with herself as the director. Even though she fought, she was always so graceful with every move and fair in her tactics. She wasn’t there to simply attack the akumas; she was there to defend Paris, the city she loves.

But for the first time, today’s dance felt off.

Adrien frowned as the akuma took lead, twirling their jumbled dance around and around leaving Ladybug confused and vulnerable. Her attacks turned careless, her defense - sloppy. As their dance carried on, it didn’t seem like she was there to defend Paris, but rather to simply defend herself.

“Dude, is it just me, or is something really wrong with her today?”

“Yeah, I was just gonna say the same thing.”

They followed Ladybug’s rapid movements. With every misstep, it was as if Ladybug’s normally calculated predictions were all off. Every dodge she seemed to attempt, got her hit. Every attack she seemed to throw was missed. They winced when she twirled her yoyo, trying to block another egg, but it still hit her hard in the stomach.

“That is some serious bad luck,” Nino muttered under his breath.

Bad luck…

Adrien's eyes widened as he quickly looked back down. He watched as an egg whizzed by and hit her on the left side. She should have been able to dodge that, just like he did before!

Just like he did before...

“Oh my god, Nino,” Adrien turned to his friend, a look of pure panic on his face. “I took all of her luck!”

“What?”

“Remember, what I told you yesterday? That I’ve been really lucky lately? I-I think I stole all of her luck through my soul mark and now she has nothing!” Adrien stammered out, as the black spots around his body burned his skin.

They watched as Ladybug ran right, twirling her yoyo as a shield again as an incoming egg flew towards her. She should have been able to reflect it, until she tripped on a piece of rubble and fell forward, the egg hitting her on the back.

Nino quickly pointed his finger at him. “Dude, you have to give it back to her! She’s gonna lose the fight!”

“I-I don’t know how!” Adrien responded, panicking even more. “It’s not like I asked for it!”

“Obviously, you have to kiss her!”

“I’m not going to—”

A high pitched scream interrupted him and they turned back around, gasping as Ladybug was sent flying, crashing onto the roof next door to theirs.

“Ladybug!” Adrien yelled, as he quickly ran to the edge. “A-Are you okay?”

She coughed loudly, weakly getting up from the ground with a groan. “Never been peachier!” She sarcastically called back, clutching her abdomen. She gave herself a shake before swinging over to the two, quickly assessing the situation. “You guys really need to leave. It’s not safe here anymore.” She twirled her yoyo.

“Dude–er, Dudette, Ladydude, whatever–Look, my friend has something he has to say that might help you,” Nino insisted, grabbing onto Ladybug’s hand before she could leave.

Ladybug’s eyebrows rose as she stared down at her wrist. Nino quickly let go, gesturing to Adrien. “Tell her,” he harshly whispered as Ladybug turned to him in confusion.

“Tell me what?”

As her bluebell eyes bore into his own, Adrien felt his mouth go dry. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t say it! His black spots continued to burn him as Ladybug’s lips bent into a small frown.

She let out a sigh. “I really don’t have time for this,” she said, pushing past the two boys. “This akuma is taking longer to defeat for some reason. And I’m just having a real off day, so if you could plea—”

“We know why!”

Ladybug reluctantly turned back around, raising her brow as she stared at Nino. “What do you mean? And please, just answer my question. I really can’t keep waiting here.”

“Adrien—” Nino insisted as he firmly pushed his best friend forward.

Ladybug bit her lip. “Look, if he doesn’t want to talk to me, it’s fine,” he tried to ignore the saddened look in her eyes. “But I really do have to get back.” She gave him a tiny smile and as he watched her walk away, he knew if he didn’t say it now, he would never get another chance. His black spots burned with a heat he couldn't believe and in a final panic, Adrien burst out.

“I’m your soulmate!”

Complete and utter silence overtook the rooftop as Ladybug slowly turned around.

“ What?” Ladybug whispered, as her bluebell eyes widened slowly.

“I-I’m your soulmate.” Adrien answered, more firmly. He stared at her, the look of surprise still evident on her face. “Look, I didn't want to tell you under these kinds of circumstances, but ever since you saved me from Gorizilla a few days ago, my soulmate mark appeared – and I know you probably get hundreds of people telling you that they’re your soulmate, but I know you are mine.”

He pulled off his gloves, and began rolling up his sleeves, not looking up as he heard Ladybug let out a gasp. “They are all in the exact places where your black spots are on your suit. And, if you’re not my soulmate, then I really don’t know who could be.”

“O-Oh my god,” Ladybug finally uttered, as she placed a hand over her mouth. She stared at the large black spots that ran down his arms and hands. She looked back down at her own spots, every one matching the spots on him.

He was right. They were identically placed.

“Y-You have them all over your body?” she whispered.

Adrien pursed his lips before nodding. “It was definitely a huge surprise to wake up to them the day after you saved me.”

They weakly chuckled together as Ladybug bit her lip, reaching out to him before stopping. “M-May I?” she asked, gesturing her finger to his hand.

Adrien could only nod as she gently touched the black spot on his right hand. A shiver ran down his spine with every stroke she took. The warmth of her touch caused the black spots to finally cool and he let out a long withheld breath. He looked up, catching her bright bluebell eyes and their cheeks bloomed red.

Ladybug groaned loudly as she quickly squeezed his hand. “Oh my god, Adrien. You’re a model too. I am so so so sorry!”

“H-hey,” Adrien hesitantly smiled, placing a hand onto hers. “You don’t have to be sorry. I-I should probably say sorry too.”

“Huh, what do you mean?” Ladybug asked, frowning as she stared back at him.

“Well, you’ve been having some pretty bad luck during this akuma attack right?” She nodded. “Ever since I got my soulmate mark, I’ve been having really good luck. And knowing my life, I knew it had to have come from you.” He let out a breath as he sheepishly looked back down at her. “I think I accidentally stole all of your luck, when you marked me, Ladybug.”

She blinked twice before she burst out into laughter. “Honestly, that would explain so much. I’m pretty clumsy outside of the suit, but these past few days have been horrendous. I guess with all my good luck, someone had to receive your bad ones.” She giggled as Adrien’s cheeks grew red.

He scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I have such bad luck sometimes.”

“I guess we’ll just have to stick together from now on to balance each other out,” Ladybug whispered as she squeezed his hand. They smiled together, a final calmness spreading between them.

Adrien had been worried for nothing.

“Not to break this little moment of yours,” Nino coughed, grinning wide at his best friend's content smile, “but there’s still an akuma out there.”

“O-Oh, yes. Right,” Ladybug coughed, clearing her head a bit with a shake. She looked at Adrien with a smile. “Although, I’m sure my luck has been really beneficial for you lately, I really need it back to defeat this akuma.”

“And I really would like to get rid of these spots before my father gets back from his trip,” Adrien said.

“Well, then I guess this means it’s my time to leave you two lovebugs,” Nino said, smirking as the couple blushed a bright red, both knowing the only solution to solve their problems. He patted Adrien on the back. “Don’t take too long, dude.”

Adrien was too slow to hit him before Nino ran off to the staircases, leaving them alone. They stared at each other, both chuckling quietly as their cheeks blushed red. Adrien cleared his throat, offering his hand out.

“With your permission then, my lady?”

She giggled at his oddly charming nickname he had given to her before taking his hand. She stared into his eyes as a small smile graced her lips.

Adrien would later admit to his lucky lady, years down the line, that he never actually remembered who initiated their first kiss.

All he could remember was the way her warm hands squeezed his own and her bright red cheeks as she flew away, more than lucky enough to defend Paris for another day.

#ml secret santa #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous #ladrien #ladybug #adrien agreste #alwaysinstoryland #miraculousladybug

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evswiftie · 6 years

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Life’s been shity

This week has been sooo shity and it’s such a long story and literally the one great thing was Taylor liking my post- so I’m just gonna focus on that good thing and yeet myself to the moon

‪Basically- to put it shortly - ....... my life’s a MESSS right now one small example is Tonight I electronically put my pay check into bank acc-only $200 is available on the day of putting it in- and I forgot about that and went to the ATM to take out $200 to put in ‬The other bank I bank with to do a credit payment .... then I went to Taco Bell because there was no food at home to take to work to eat- I nanny and they usually line never had anything to eat 🤯 and I was pissed trying to find something filling and cheap to eat ... none of that food is worth $6 on average ?! The fuck ! So I got my damn $7 burrito with taco combo and then went to winco and got $75 worth of groceries and went to pay and my debit card had INSUFFICIENT FUND BECAUSE I FORGOT I TOOK OUT $200 TO MAKE A CREDIT CARD PAYMENT 😭 and YES I didn’t have any other money in the acc besides $30 before I got paid 😳😭so I took out $25 worth of food and split the $50 worth of food on two different debit cards 😭 do you KNOW how EMBARRASSING that was 😭 and THEN I was going home and had to ZOOM because I literally had to take a shit so bad from the SHITY Taco Bell food I had 😭 and then And besides that I was supposed to go for an ultrasound for my breast .. on Tuesday and I called to double check I had to adress correct and it wasn’t so I literally spent 25 mins calling tons of places trying to find out where the appointment was and FINALLY someone reminded me that the info for the appointment is on the health care app I have called my chart and by the time I finallllly got it I wasn’t going to make it to the appointment in time and I literally cried ... I LITERALLY drive 20 mins out of the total of the 35 mins it takes to get there - saw the traffic jam in the free way and turned around knowing I’d miss it and I was crying and so upset because the appointment was already rescheduled twice because of snow and they mis scheduled me. I just want to know what’s going on with my breast ...that’s kinda personal but listen I’m on a rant and like I’m sure it’s fine like I’ll be fine ... right ? And then also .... Annnnd And my mom with her battling and stuff - her immune system is so weak and then she had the flu and was crying in so much pain yesterday and I was at work nannying and then mom said she was so dehydrated and couldn’t keep anything down she went to the hospital and they were hydrated her with the IVs and the she texted me “ please keep the Disney memories alive, hold onto them” and she never says anything like that when she goes to the hospital and it made me feel like soemthing was so wrong I legit went into a scare/ panic attack, really bad crying and shaking and my mind went blank and went to all the scary places at once like I thought she was trying to tell me the end for her was here ;( and I prayed SO hard in my knees and literally the next second my mom said she felt better and was going home and then it was all better Nd the kid I watch she was so sweet she was hugging me and made me feel better and I felt so wrong for crying in front of her but it was ok in the end... and then I went home and Taylor liked my post 😭 and then I cried like baby 😭 ...... I feel vulnerable and okay to post here because Taylor Is here and follows me and she feels like a friend to me and I trust her and I’m just here to rant but I also know she cares and just Incase she’s here seeing me ... I just wanted to come and say I love her for making me smile through all of life’s shity things

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theworthofsouls · 7 years

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My heart is so full right now. A few things and an explanation:

First, I will always be a firm believer that Saturday sessions of General Conference are the best.

Second, my mission president, Taniela Wakolo, was called to be a Seventy, and I can’t wait for the rest of the world to get to know him.

Third, never in the history of ever have I cried during general conference, but I was a leaky mess today.

Fourth, my identity as a child of God has never been so clear to me as it has today.

Fifth, I know and can feel my Savior’s love for me stronger than I have in years.

Now for some context.

The reason I haven’t been on here very often is because since January I have been actively addressing the fact that I have social anxiety which leads to bouts of depression. Labeling this as such was in and of itself a feat for me, as it seems the leading goal I constantly have is to not be a burden to others, and that label always seemed to me a sign of defeat that I could not conquer my issues on my own.

I have since learned that asking others for help is not a bad thing. I have been attending a social anxiety group, seeing an individual therapist, and working through an online program. I decided to take this initiative to be mentally healthy after a 2 & ½ week slump back in January. Since then I’ve been invited to do a lot of things that are outside of my comfort zone, and learning different principles has been helpful.

About two or three weeks ago I hit another slump. This came after I had tried to apply a technique for noticing anxiety and it backfired into a full out panic attack over something really small. After that, I noticed I was getting more and more discouraged that I was doing this all wrong. Seeking this help was supposed to be the last resort I had after my own personal efforts. I thought that I had gotten really far the past few years, and these past few months seemed to have been unraveling all the work I had done.

Lately my thoughts have been centered around the fact that I am lonely. I have a lot of friends, but it seems like my relationships are pretty superficial many times. I had hit my year mark of being back home in January, and was discouraged that not only had I been unsuccessful at finding a significant other, but the fact that I didn’t even have anyone in mind to call my “best friend” was even more discouraging.

This is still the case, and it still bothers me a lot. I’m still in this slump. But I have good moments, like this one.

Lately I’ve had many opportunities to put my trust in the Lord. the most recent happened yesterday when a friend invited me to the temple, and expecting to have plenty of time before a meeting at work, I agreed to go. A half hour delay in her schedule, an influx of people at the temple, and my ability to always manage to use a locker in the one stall that has a line of people waiting, ended in me being a little on edge the whole time. I felt bad for being impatient, but I tried to remind myself that I just needed to trust in the Lord and things would work out.

When we eventually made it out, it was an hour after this meeting was supposed to start. I didn’t blame God, but I did feel sheepish for not having planned better on my end. I walked into work without even changing out of my skirt, and upon my arrival had the news that the meeting was rescheduled for the following week.

Even when we are 120% sure things have failed after we put our trust in God, we need to remember that when we put our trust in God we never fail. This had temporal blessings which I was able to readily see, but many times we will have to wait until heaven to see what went right.

The morning session of talks seemed to be in a bunch that all seemed to address my concerns. What I walked away from that meeting was the importance of my divine nature as a child of God, and that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are always there with us.

In the moments when I had felt most forsaken by the ones I loved and even by God, I was able to be humbled enough to recognize His hand in the following days, with little signs of His love and awareness of me.

The second session started, and I was excited to hear the name of my mission president. One of the things I love most about him was something my last companion pointed out--he didn’t give up easily on the missionaries. There were so many missionaries that were hurting or disobedient or some other circumstances where other missionaries suggested they be sent home, but as long as the missionary was willing to stay, President Wakolo was working hard to help. He could have sent home dozens of missionaries so that he wouldn’t have to deal with them, but he wanted to deal with them. This made all the difference to these individuals. Of course there were some he sent home, but not after many heartfelt and sincere efforts to help the missionary to change.

I mention this because he shows love in the way I imagine the Savior does. The Savior doesn’t want to get rid of us so He doesn’t have to deal with us anymore, He cares so deeply that He has put everything on the line to help us, if only we will return to Him. I cannot wait for you to hear Elder Wakolo speak, because his love is sincere, both for us and for his Savior.

When I heard the announcement of the choir singing a medley containing I Am a Child of God, I started to tear up. I have never felt strongly about this song because it is so often used, but today I felt it, and I cried as the children started to sing. I composed myself, and continued to receive inspired revelation from the talks. Then Elder Holland spoke. I know it’s so cliche to say that he is the best speaker, but the moment he said the line “Jesus listening can hear the songs I cannot sing”, the waterworks really started, and continued throughout. I had read his talk “Like a Broken Vessel” earlier this morning as I found it difficult to get out of bed, and cried again at the quote from President Monson (again, one I’ve heard a million times but not really felt until today):

“That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.”

The past few weeks I did not feel like I deserved it, but I received it anyway.

The scripture John 14:27 came to mind: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

I am still in a lot of emotional and mental anguish. I still feel considerably awful and lonely. But I can testify that in these past weeks I have developed a stronger trust in my Savior through consistent temple attendance and sincere (though not very long) prayers. I have felt like my offering at times was so meager, but I was giving everything I could within my means of energy. And a peace has come to me. I understand that scripture more than ever, and I cannot explain it. The peace I expected was not given to me, the lifting of this weight that leaves me useless for days on end was not given. The terror that comes from small social encounters was not erased. My term papers have not been magically written for me. But I have peace.

The next few weeks are going to be difficult in terms of the end of the semester, and I can’t say when I’ll get out of this slump I’m in. But I have a confidence that the Lord is nearer than I sometimes think, I am doing better than I sometimes believe, and everything will, eventually, work out.

Are you ready for part 2 of General Conference? I know I am.

#tumblrstake #LDS #Mormon #General Conference #GeneralConference

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