Never impressed by me acing your tests
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this has been on my todo list for actual goddamn months. do you know how long i've been waiting to draw this fucking t
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Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.
Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.
Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.
I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH
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I guess my outlook on Mori and Dazai's dynamic is - it wasn't abusive. Dazai was Mori's subordinate, yes, he absolutely could (and did!) manipulate him to an extent, and he had this weird need to teach Dazai everything he knew because he really projected hard on that kid, huh?
Thing is, Dazai held enough power in that dynamic such that he was never completely subservient - only person who knew the truth about Mori's takeover, threatening to overthrow him, etc. Moreover, abuse is something that is perpetuated over time and I really see no proof in the story so far that this happened.
However, one thing I'd like to make clear, and my true takeaway from this, is that just because a relationship isn't abusive does not mean that it can't be god-awful for your psychological well-being.
Mori did not abuse Dazai, but Dazai still does better (even if only a little) when he is away from him and his amoral utilitarian views.
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-Plush of Mario✨
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Jesus: why are you obsessed with fighting times and fates you can’t defy?
also Jesus: *sings a six minute-long song about how much he doesn’t want to die*
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i think the thing about arcade fire is i find almost all of their music that i've heard to be ridiculously corny with a few tracks being, like, ok enough to transcend the inherent corn for me (sprawl ii). but they seemed to be the most iconic early/mid 2010s musicians to like successfully exist at the nexus of mumfordish stompclap, singer-songwriter-"literary"-bon-iver/fleetfoxism that was still commercially distributed (pitchfork/nprcore), and the thing people typically mean by "indie classical" which was individual orchestrators/arrangers/composers getting employed in the brooklyn-centric ymusic cinematic universe (or sort of the next wave of That Stuff after bang on a can - "cool" and "daring" classical musicians with portfolio careers getting booked in traditional concert venues).
generalizing here, but i think the majority of artistic projects* in the latter two categories would not touch stompclap with a ten foot pole for pretty clear reasons (metric & formal inflexibility, communal participation vibes, incompatibility with venue, lower emphasis on virtuosity, boomy wall-of-sound mixing, anthemic/prescriptive affect vs. idiosyncratic/expressive affect, etc). and even if the musical "type of thing" was similar in some fashion like body percussion or chorused vocals etc they would go about it in a way that was broadly uncharacteristic of stompclap. if you're tune-yards for example (someone i would situate in the npr-core part of this fake continuum) then you're not going to actually use a choir effect that mimics a big singalong with indistinct/anonymized voices; instead you're going to multitrack yourselves and hire roomful of teeth to do the backing vocals. actually multitracking and live looping are/were Huge... also i feel like collegiate a cappella had its moment around this same time (?) on the poppier side of things... hence stuff like the ben folds record that was all collegiate a cappella versions of his music. hm. anyway
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Another piece of vent art cause today was kinda crappy
Do you ever wonder if the people you love would stand up for you? Are you ever pessimistic that they won’t? Do you ever think about a situation like this one; where someone would say to the face of the person you cared about, that you weren’t worth shit. And do you ever wonder if they’d fight back or if they’d let them say their piece. And do you ever wonder if they’d even bother to comfort you afterwards. Would they be mad on your behalf at least? Or would they even care?
I wonder if my aunt ever badmouthed me to my dad. I wonder what my dad would’ve said. I wonder if he would’ve said anything at all. I wonder if he’d think I was worth it.
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Every time I have a knee-jerk reaction to clarify "oh I think this is cool but I'm not ~one of them~" I have to stop and think for a moment about why. What about being perceived as part of that group bothers me? Why does it bother me? What would clarification acheive, other than alienating a group I'm trying to say is interesting? It's very informative
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Ok I'm going to like. Infodump abt my crush in the tags bc like. Yeah <:)
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Whats Ur fav type of deer!
What’s a hobby you frequent but don’t get the chance to talk about much?
Whats your favourite dessert dish?
I LOVE MULE DEER. I LOVE YIU MULIES FOREVER ANS EVER AND EVER. theyre all over in eastern washington & i miss them & their stupidly huge ears.........
their ears r seriously fucking huge lookit them compared to whitetails
(Mulie on the left)
COSPLAY!!!! More specifically like. Prop making/painting !!!!!!! I really really enjoy makin stuff fer cosplays or halloween costumes... Ive made a proton pack, a steampunk gun, 2012 Casey Jones' mask and Poe Damerons helmet for Halloween & im in the planning stages for makin beacon from TAZ: Amnesty hehehe
I really really enjoy the process of finding the stuff for it and puttinf it all together and painting it and then just like... Having it for fun basically HAHA ive never gone to a con or anywhere to cosplay its all been like. Halloween BUT SOMEDAY ID LOVE TO.. I think itd be so fun.. i esp like "weathering" it hehe
I fuckin LOOOVE brownies... brownies or chocolate zucchini cake specifically... I have the besssst fuckin recipe for chocolate zucchini cake & frosting its SO GOOD EVERYTIME.. I also love just a good old chewy homemade chocolate chip cookie 😔👍 I like chocolate a lot LOLZ..
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this is relevant to nothing, but i just want the world to know that i once had a dream where uni got a full english dub with the returning va’s from bbtag + new va’s for the characters that weren’t in bbtag. words cannot describe the disappointment i felt when i woke up and realized it was a dream.
i would have straight up died of mental anguish psychic damage and heartbreak honestly
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