#watch me make this into stickers cuz i want to put this SOMEWHERE

[fallow-in-space]

hehe silly space cat

[themagnusbane]

GAP The Series Episode 5 Thoughts

Whew! Thought for a second there that they were going to deprive us of jealous Sam. Kinda like the way they deprived us of the kiss at the end of episode 3, and then started episode 4 without picking up from where they left off in the pool. But it looks like we are starting this episode with a face full of jealous Sam and I am HERE FOR IT!!!

2. Tee's little head tilt is like "oooooh. She angry, Angry". Yes Tee. Y'all's little stunt worked too well and now she's pissed. But because I know sapphic jealousy usually leads to sapphic confessions and hopefully some kissing, I'll say please take the jealous rants like a champ, and thank you for doing us all a solid!

3. Sam's like "Prawns are for my beloved. You touch them. You lose your hand." And as someone who loves prawns and hates having to share them... Thank you Sam. You make me feel seen. Now pass me some prawns. I'm hungry!!!

4. Also, I'm sure I read somewhere that shellfish are an aphrodisiac, in which case... Sam. I see what you did there!

5. Tee's really pushing Sam's buttons. See? This right here is why we say butch lesbians are the backbone of our community! Look at Tee putting in all that work to force Sam into confessing her feelings. We stan an icon!!!

6. Awww Sam. Look at you upset at their gentle teasing. Nobody's laughing at you. Tee's just laying the groundwork for you to confess to your girl that you're jealous, and then you both can get to kissing (LIKE WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE LAST 4 EPISODES!!!!).

7. I swear Sam. With how green you've turned, you owe Tee an apologies and gifts. This here is a PSA to treat your local butch lesbian with all the love and care cuz they are amazing, and I REPEAT, are the backbone of our community!!! Go Tee!!!!

8. Sam, honey. Sure Mon is learning to speak Sam, but she's still learning. You are going to have to use your words. Also, my girl still needs to grill you for ignoring all her messages while you were out, getting yapped at by Kirk the snitch! Don't think either of us have forgotten that!

9. Sam, requests for hot coffee; gets hot coffee, and then complains that coffee is hot. Also Sam, acts all jealous and snippy, doesn't give Mon a chance to say a word the previous night, and now is huffy that Mon hasn't texted her. Me, watching the hot ass mess that is Khun Sam:

10. Mon sweetheart. I know you love her ass. I do too. But you have to at least finagle an apology from ya girl. She stood you up on your date, ignored your messages, threw a jealous tantrum and gave you the cold shoulder. Sure she's cute and will look adorable as a little river prawn, but nevertheless, ASK FOR AN APOLOGY!!!!

11. Oooooh. Love the casual "well you already had prawns with Kirk so I'm sure you don't want to have prawns with me" that Mon tossed into their text exchange. You go girl. Finagle yourself that apology. Let Khun Sam know that she doesn't have the monopoly on being jealous!

12. I swear Sam. You're lucky you're pretty. All this bourgeois way of looking down on us poor folks, has me feeling pretty irritated. But then I look up, see your face, and all is forgiven. Urgh!

13. Sam, you can't leave her pinky finger hanging like that. Come on. Look at that little lonely thing. It needs another pinky finger to feel connected. Smoosh your pinky finger with hers! The way you know you want to smoosh your lips to hers! Come on Sam!

14. OMG. She doesn't know what the pinky promise is? Or that that's a finger heart? I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Poor Khun Sam. Urgh!!!

15. She's not taking the pictures because she's addicted to social media Khun Sam. She's taking them to remember her second date with you! And just like last time you both would probably start taking couple selfies at some point.

16. There is no way Mon doesn't know what she's doing. Talking about Chin sending her stickers on LINE and him flirting. She totally noticed that Sam's been green since the previous night, and is rubbing it in. In which case...

17. OMG!!!! Sam's little puffed up cheeks! DEAD y'all. I'm DEAD!!!!

18. Awwww that little moment of Sam, thinking she is alone, and letting herself swing back and forth on the swing, only to return to perfect stillness when Mon comes back, breaks me. This is all the fault of the witch that is her grandmother! I just know it! Wouldn’t let the poor girl be a child and play like one. Urgh!!

19. I get what they're trying to do with the negatives actually imply a positive because of the way Sam grew up and how she's been forced into things she doesn't like, by her grandmother (for example. Kirk is a good example of this. Although she likes him as a friend, she doesn't like him romantically; not like her grandmother would even care). But still, at some point, I wil need Sam to ACTUALLY SAY THE WORDS!! No double negatives. No indirectly telling her. I need her to actually say "I like you". Not for Mon to decipher it in the things she isn't saying.

20. The way I LOVE how this show is just employing the use of all the tropes!!!! Now we have the messy eater trope, and I AM SCREAMING!!!! I swear, if they don't kiss this very instant!!! Your fingers are already on her lips Sam. KISS HER RIGHT NOW GODDAMNIT!!!

21. OMG! It's happening. It's happening. "Bite my nose and I'll bite your lips". OMG!!!! We are getting a kiss!! WE ARE GETTING A KISS!!!!

22. What do you mean by friends don't do this. Girl! SHUT UP AND LET HER KISS YOU! Do you know how long we've been waiting for this??? URGH!!!

23. Oh God! Not fucking Nop with his fucking heterosexual ways, interrupting our kiss. NOP. She is gay, and in love with her boss. SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. Let it go! Let her go! It's a nope from all of us Nop. Leave the sapphics alone! Urgh!

24. The way Sam is licking her lips while staring at Mon. Gods. She wants to kiss her so bad!!! THE LONGING y'all!!! THE LONGING!!!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

25. Oh god! NOT FUCKING NOP AGAIN! I need someone to carry this boy and throw him in a trash can. Pussy-blocking piece of shit!

26. Same Sam. Same. I totally want to kick his ass too. The audacity to try and collect the prawns. Boy, was she talking to you??? Rude, entitled asswipe!

27. Jealous Sam is speaking FACTS!!! You go my queen! TELL THAT BOY THE TRUTH!! We all see past his "nice-boy" act! Eviscerate him in every way that counts. Speak those unpleasant truths that Mon can't say. See? This right here is why Sam is queen!!!!

28. Mon is like "nope. Not having this conversation. You both are not allowed to play a tug-of-war over who 'owns' me," and you know what? Valid. Absolutely valid.

29. Whatever she was "doing" with Sam, is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS Nop! Urgh! I really really can't stand his ass. The audacity he has to ask her these questions. She doesn't need to answer you. She DOES NOT ANSWER TO YOU!

30. "This is so harsh" my ass. You keep pushing and prodding, and now that she's put you in your place, you're acting all hurt. Get the fuck out of here!

31. Rejected. Wet. And pitiful. It's what you deserve Nop. It's what you deserve.

32. At this rate, Mon might just accidentally blurt out the truth of her and Sam's relationship, without anyone asking her. Hehehehehe.

33. Poor Chin. This is what you get for making Sam jealous with your stickers.

34. The desperate need to have your crush follow you back on social media. I feel you on that Sam. I feel you!!

35. Sam, I love you and your fake scamming account profile. Please never change. ROFL!!!!

36. Sam. Girl. Are you trying to break the World Guinness record for number of stickers sent in a minute??? Hehehehe. I swear, Sam's jealousy at Chin's sticker game is SENDING ME!!!

37. Oh damn! I've never seen a sexier nose bite! Wow. Just wow! But also GJHGJHGHJGHJGJHG. DOES THIS MEAN THE KISS IS HAPPENING??? OMG! OMG! OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

38. Oh God. The sound I just made. That lip bite. Jesus fucking Christ. That lip bite. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. And the eye-fucking that followed. But with no kiss following it? I am ruined!!! They haven't kissed yet and I am already ruined. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

39. Hehehehe. Sam being all slick like "come to my house. You can sit. You can lie down. You can use my free wifi. And the air-con will have you nice and cool. You can finish up on work" and all I'm hearing is the silent but very loud "AND WE CAN MAKE OUT. OH GODS CAN WE MAKE OUT. YOU AND ME. SCISSORING TILL THE SUN RISES". Rofl. I love her your honour. I love her so much!!!

40. Oooooh. I love the nod to Sam getting Mon her own pajamas, in her favourite colour. It's a nice contrast to the first night Mon spent at her house and had to go to sleep in Sam's own colour and clothes. *Squeal*!!!

41. Her fake yawning and sighs are sooo cute. Mon, have mercy. Sam wants you in her bed and under her. Let's get to some sexy times. Please. Gods. We have been waiting for this for like forever!!!

42. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. That was a perfect first kiss. Why am I crying so much. That was beautiful. The laughing. Sam cupping Mon's cheek. Sam's lips pressed to Mon's lower lips. The finger sliding across Mon's lips, then back to cheek. The eye contact. Sliding back in to kiss her some more. Hands cupping her jaw. I am a PUDDLE!!!

43. Mon, you have released a monster. Sam will be wanting to taste those lips every other minute. Brace yourself.

44. Hold the fuck up! Did this bitch just pop open a pen with her mouth, whilst eye-fucking us???? Sam. WHAT THE FUCK?!!! You are NOT allowed to do that! Spare us! Spare some mercy please. WHAT THE FUCK??? Also, did anyone else think of bullet vibrators when she did that? The small ones? Cuz the way she has that in her mouth has me feeling things. And thinking things. And fuuuuuuuuck.

45. That wink! Sam! Who are you? Mon you've unleashed the kraken. And on behalf of ALL of us, we say thank you!!

46. The SCOY reference. YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!

47. Sam running her fingers through her hair. Oh God. Everything she does at this point is going to make me incredibly horny isn't it?

48. I really appreciate the fact that everyone who made this show know that sapphics spend an inordinate amount of time, looking at women's fingers (the girls that get it, get it), and the way the camera keeps panning to Sam's fingers, and the way they slide and glide and move their way around Mon's body... Lord, have mercy. Or rather I should say... Sam, have mercy.

49. I swear Martha/Jim is my favourite. Rofl! Yes please. Let's put her grandmother in a box. Then have a procession and bury her in the ground. Put garlic around it as well of course. Just in case she really turns out to be a vampire and decides she wants to pop out of her grave.

50. Girls. Is that the end of the call? But y'all didn't agree on ANYTHING. Rofl.

51. Sam is so funny. Girl, EVERY worker has a strong urge to spend money after they get paid. We console ourselves on having survived a full month of working, with some retail therapy. It's called a coping mechanism.

52. I love that Yuki's now part of their friend group as well. I knew I caught sapphic vibes from her when she was playacting with Mon, as Sam before Mon's first day. You go Yuki. Let Tee treat you like the Queen you are!!

53. Sam's friends are the absolute best!!! This birthday party's cute AF!!!

54. Awwwwww. Mon is so sad that she couldn't get her a birthday present on the scale of her friends.. My sweet baby. Just having you in her life is enough of a present. But I totally understand why you're so sad though.

55. I saw what you did there Sam. That lip balm is a present for you both. Cuz now when you kiss, she'll taste like strawberries. Khun Sam is so smart!!

Aaaaaand next episode's preview looks like things will stay spicy. I love it!!!

@ellaspore here are my thoughts for episode 5. It's long AF, but so many things happened and GAH!!! I AM STILL SQUEALING!!!!

[nii-chans-rabiddogs]

Kennels

TWs: Dehumanization, muzzles, collars, restraints. Sorry it took so long, but have fun <3

@cupcakes-and-pain @maracujatangerine

It’s been a bit since I was left here, and I spent the first long while just trying not to cry. I’m scared and insulted and really wanna leave, but I dunno how to undo the latch, and I can’t try right now anyways. A buncha people keep walking through the door to the hall, but none of them say anything or even glance over when they pass by. They’d put me right back in if I got out, which is rude. They all have the same type of outfit though, which actually looks okay-ish. There are so many pockets, and they all have earpieces and some of them have special gloves, but those ones are also carrying some stuff in boxes. Whatever it was, there’s a lot of it, cuz they keep bringing in more and more, while another couple of people watch and type stuff on tablets, before talking into their earpieces. They said something about shipments and gear, but I can’t hear much of it. 

Another person walks by, and she’s wearing a really cool purple cape. One of the carrier people called her Royal, which was a cool name, but I’m not sure how you get Royal from the color purple. Actually, her entire costume was purple, but the main part of it looked black at first cuz of how dark it was. Her boots are dark purple, but not as dark as the body part. Her gloves are really bright though, and they shimmer like they’re almost reflective. Royal looked straight forward as she walked through the kennels, talking to one of the tablet guys about finding a new dealer for PowerSurge gear. Apparently, the old one went to meet his husband, but I don’t know why they haveta get a new dealer if he’s just visiting his husband. Maybe they just got married and went on their honeymoon? Wait, why do so many people try to put honey on the moon? And only after they get married? There’s no reason, and I don’t think normal people can afford a trip to the moon, that sounds really super expensive. Maybe- oh,what?

A group of carriers just called Seren out. She leans out to them from the backroom, barely glancing at them before nodding and grabbing her keychain from somewhere. Royal steps back to let her through, and she walks out to the kennel on my right, unlatching it and stepping back while the carriers grab the animal from under the little dog house thingie it was in. It looked like a mix of a very tiny tiger and lion, but wrong, like someone had stitched together two different stuffed animals badly. The carriers pick it up, placing it in a large cage and padlocking it shut. They slap a sticker on it, before a tablet guy types something and nods. The carriers lift up the kennel and bring it back out. It was all really quiet, barely anyone saying anything, and Seren looked bored. 

“We’re locating a new dealer, so expect a minor delay in mass shipments. Customs aren’t affected. You’ll be notified when a new dealer has been selected and approved.” Royal said, voice sounding as emotionless as a rock. She stared at Seren the entire time, making eye contact until Seren nodded. How can someone make eye contact that long, doesn’t it hurt? Royal snapped her fingers and all the carriers and tablet guys that are left started grabbing their stuff and leaving. No one said anything else, and I really wish I could ask questions, or at least mess with something. It feels like my blood is electrified, but I can’t move or talk or do anything and it's the worst. I shook my arms a little bit, but it didn’t help and just irritated my wrists. I really wish I was with detective or Skyrise or Monsoon right now, they wouldn’t do anything to me or make me sit still. They’d let me run and wiggle and shake my hands around as much as I wanted, and they yelled at the one mean guy who told me I needed to have quiet hands, but I dunno what he meant but that. Monsoon got really angry when I mentioned it, so maybe it was an insult? But why? And how would you quiet your hands, they already don’t make much noise unless you’re slamming them on stuff or clapping, and I wasn’t. It was very confusing, so I just walked away from him. 

Oh yeah, I remembered a bit of before I woke up, when everything was spinny. Doctor Everly said it was a quiet hospital, but he lied to me which is rude and mean and he should be the one wearing this stupid muzzle if he’s gonna lie like that. But I don’t know what those rooms were, and I don’t ever wanna go back in them, cuz they were super cold and scary. I shivered, and tucked my arms closer to my body again, wishing the supercuffs were just normal handcuffs. If they were I’d be able to make the lights go out with a real big shock. It wouldn’t help I don’t think, but it would be fun to watch people scramble around in the dark. I also woulda shocked the Doctor and Seren, too, cuz they’re mean and scary and I don’t like them at all. 

“Alright pup, here’s the deal. Hunter is determined to keep you no matter what happens in your little interrogation, so we are goin’ to try out some gear for the few hours you have until he gets done with business. Behave yourself and you might get some treats, puppy.” Seren called out suddenly, walking out with a lead rope meant for strays.

She unlatched the kennel door, and I shrunk back again. I glared at her, but it didn’t do anything except make her chuckle. I tried to stay as far away as I could, but she shot her hand out to grab my ankle and yank me towards her. I panicked and whined as my head hit the floor, while she looped the lead over my head and tugged until it was snug against my neck. I tried to wriggle and push her away, but she just grabbed my hands and yanked me into the air like I was a piece of paper. I don’t like this, and now my head hurts and she’s scary and she’s gonna hurt me and-

“Aw, puppy, no need to look so scared. We’re just trying out some training gear, okay? No need for the teary eyes or breath holdin’, pup. This is happening no matter what, and it would be easier if you just listened to me.” 

I immediately shook my head, cuz Doctor lied and she might be lying too and I don’t wanna go with her cuz she’ll hurt me or yell at me or- Ack! I choked as Seren suddenly yanked the lead forward, and stumbled forward a couple of steps. I looked at her with wide eyes, shaking a little bit, and she raised her eyebrow. She pulled on the lead so I took another step cuz I didn’t wanna choke again cuz that was really scary and I’d end up back in the warehouse with Detective yelling at me and, and he’d be really mad and- no, don’t think about that, just- Just follow Seren, and then there’s no choking or yanking and you won't go back, right?

I whined and shook my head, following behind Seren as she slowly took us to the backroom. There’s a lot of weird vests, and all sorts of collars and leashes and muzzles on hooks on one wall. The wall on the right had some gray cabinets, and underneath them there’s a table with some remotes and bags of snacks and treats. Set in the floor are some loops, but they’re cut weird and kinda look like a heavy metal carabiner. Seren hooked me to the one closest to the hooks on the walls, and I had to sit down so I wouldn’t choke. She grabbed a collar that was all metal and looked really heavy, that had a loop in the front, and I ducked my head down a little cuz it looked scary. She pressed something and it beeped once, then lit up two lines on the inside of the collar. Seren nodded, grabbing a remote and messing with the two until they both beeped a couple of times, then pocketing the remote and turning back to me. I shook my head again, trying to shrink into myself but she just sighed and stopped right in front of me. I stayed curled as small as I could, but I couldn’t stop shaking. She didn’t do anything for a couple of seconds, and sighed before saying:

“You’re a real anxious pup, ain’t ya? If it makes you feel any better, Hunter said I’m not allowed to hurt you at all. Not even a papercut. I wouldn’t anyways, but now it’s enforced by an order. Now, he also wants you to be wearing all the… corrective gear, and this is one of them. I know the collar looks a little scary, but it’s just like those power-suppressing cuffs. That’s all it does, puppy. If you sit up for me, I’ll even swap out the muzzle for something a little nicer, yeah?”

I wanna shake my head again, but the muzzle is also really tight and makes my jaw ache a bit… But the collar is also really scary and it might hurt. Maybe, maybe she isn’t lying? She- if Hunter said she couldn’t hurt me then she’d be alotta trouble if she did, so she can’t, right? I huffed, before very very slowly sitting up. I stayed curled down, but only a little and I haven’t stopped shaking. She lifted my head up, and I flinched back but she just tightened her grip to keep me in place. I whimpered and tried to pull my head away a little, but she was already undoing the first weird collar, so I just froze. She pulled it off, and slid the heavy one around before adjusting it to rest a little bit above my shoulders. She pulled it tight, and finally let go of my head to walk around and click it closed. She fiddled with it for a second and there was another click, and she stepped back. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad. Let’s get a harness and leash on you, then I’ll swap the muzzles and give you a treat, puppy. Give me your hands, I need to take off the cuffs for this part.” She commanded, walking back around and crouching in front of me. I hesitated, then reluctantly held my wrists out to her. She twisted them weirdly for a second, then they clicked and fell into her hand. 

I stared at my wrists, trying to figure out how she unlocked them, cuz she didn't pull out a key or anything, just twisted it. I rubbed my wrists a little bit, and looked back up at her. She grabbed a weird vest, apparently a harness, and a leash that was bright yellow and said “NERVOUS” in big letters. I folded my arms into my stomach as she came back, trying not to curl into a ball again. She pulled the stray-lead towards herself, and loosened until she could pull it off and set it to the side. She grabbed the harness, and undid a bunch of buckles and a zipper on the harness, then made me lift my arms up a little bit. She placed it on my chest and slid four of the buckles over my shoulders, and the ones on the sides around to the back. Two of the four she buckled just under the heavy collar from the front, then moved to the back and zipped the harness closed. She tugged it up a little to clip to the other two buckles over my shoulders to hold the harness up. I heard three clicks as she closed the rest of the buckles on the back, and I moved my shoulders around as I got used to the almost too-tight harness. It was kinda like a vest, with fabric all around, but there was a strap over my chest with a D-ring, and it wasn’t that hot.

She took the leash and clipped it onto the ring on the front of the collar, which was already feeling too heavy, and slipped the handle end around her wrist. She hummed and tugged here and there on everything, before asking if anything hurt or rubbed anywhere. I slowly shook my head.

“That’s good, I don’t need to order too many customs. If anything gets too small, starts to hurt, or rubs wrong then tell me ASAP, understood? Good. Now, let’s swap those muzzles, and get you a little treat, yeah, puppy? You want a treat?” She teased as she reached behind and undid the muzzle.

It slipped off, and I immediately yawned, trying to stretch my jaw. She slipped the handle to the leash into the spot where the lead used to be, then stepped over to grab a muzzle that was all wires, with a bit of padding here and there. I rubbed my jaw, watching as she adjusted the straps. She grabbed a small bag of chocolates that I didn’t see before, and walked back over. I perked up and stared at the chocolates while trying to make my throat less dry, and she laughed.

“Aw, you like chocolate? I thought that was bad for puppies? You must be a very odd puppy if you can eat these.” She taunted, shaking the bag. I tried to respond but just ended up coughing.

She set the bag down, and waited for me to stop coughing before listing my head and putting the muzzle on. It settled on my face, the padding being the only thing between my face and the metal. It was a lot looser than the one before, and I could still talk without gaining bruises. 

“Ca-an… Can I have some- some water?” I rasped, barely audible.

“Sorry, pup, but you have to wait. Only treats for now. You’ll get some when Hunter is ready to see you.” She responded, pulling open the bag of chocolates.

I frowned, and opened my mouth to say something else when she held a chocolate in the air and interrupted me.

“Open up, puppy! A treat just for you!” She jeered, waving the chocolate in front of me. I blushed in humiliation, but opened my mouth as she told me to, and she dropped it between the wires of the muzzle into my mouth. 

“Good boy! You’re such a pretty puppy, so well behaved. Very good boy” She praised, and I ducked my head down. She was treating me like I was just a dumb little puppy and it was humiliating but I haven’t eaten since the day before Hunter grabbed me from the warehouse, and I was too hungry to refuse. She gave me a few more, before putting them away and setting them back on the table. She reached under the table and tugged out a box, pulling out a bunch of weird gear I can’t identify.

“Alright, puppy, this is some of the training gear we’ll be trying out. We’ll be here for the next hour just about, so just work with me. We have three more boxes after this one, so let’s get this down as quickly as possible.” She explained, and I sighed and curled back into a ball. This is going to be an absolutely embarrassing hour, I just know it.

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Harley Davidson & The Marlboro Man - Bon Jovi / Wanted Dead or Alive" on YouTube

We're going to pay them in kind for the design because it is their design and they seem to be accepting it they had it out there but it's a way of them to ride and they like the idea and they like to ride us against Max and the factories injured me other ones are and we're going to make this a production model and he wants me to do it and put it on the brochure and we're putting it on the website tonight as part of our New Year's program we have a lot of stuff going forward today and tonight a lot of projects are goes and we put signs up and we put banners and everybody thinks that everybody's getting their s*** together cuz it's New years and really it's us doing a lot of stuff but they're having us so I guess they can say they're having us do it and we're building a lot of things cloud buildings food places tons of stuff are going in we're relocating just the heavenly amount of things it's just gigantic today is Tommy boy and they went out there when they try kicking butt there way too busy trying to move stuff and didn't have enough trucks and they started fighting and half the stuff disappeared in the first 10 minutes and the other stuff is disappearing on the road and they still got some up there it's enough for probably one factory which makes about two octillion cars a day they'll do it tomorrow and then probably the next day and probably have three or four factories and do maybe 10 octillion a day which is a lot for the East Coast or the west coast probably more likely and they're going ahead with it and they did move it up there to the upper Midwest and they're moving it to the West Coast tonight and it's a huge deal there's a lot of trucks only 100,000 trucks and a couple loads and it looks like everything but it's nowhere near and this movie is going to start soon too as they are going to be representing this chopper and he decided and we enhanced it not much but it is balanced and the frame is balanced and reinforced and the motor is the new Harley-Davidson motor I guess we could call it the evolution two and we did that because he named the first one. Unlisted in the brochures the evolution 2 and it's on all the bikes literature and he likes it and she likes it too and we do have the tank decal on there as stock and we can remove it and put other things but that's what we put there and put the emblem somewhere else it's up on the top and people love it cuz they have that old Harley look too that's part of a chopper and it is really just a nice design there's a lot of the bikes that look like it this one looks particularly decent because it it is streamlined. I think I was thinking about it too just put it in the shops and sell it and introduce it as the chopper and I put it in there and the tank is bare and they say I recognize that from somewhere and it's kind of shiny and kind of not and it looks really cool it's new looking and it's very clean and it doesn't look like the dirty version and we say we have the sticker and decal and say why wouldn't you put it on there let me say why would we say we want it on there so we started putting it on there and they sold my hotcakes I mean it's the same size same cards and same look it is intense it means something too something like we're going to ride them and things like that and we're aware of that and you knew it and that's what he wants to do and they were doing it too so he knows about it

Thor Freya

Good luck my friend in a few if we don't succeed and you don't the phone is right behind us

Dan

We do mean it and that's what it means it's handing off the torch and it's a technique that people don't get but it really works it wouldn't have done anything if people didn't do this and we did it a lot too much and kind of melted us and melted us that were changing

Trump

And we're going to have to watch the gun stuff he says but they are changing a little they're getting desperate

Thor Freya

And we're going to watch it and Max those out while them because of it and the bike is so perfect time and we should call that he says the outlaw and the name of outlaw and then it says well that sounds different so they called "The Outlaw". The tank means that too

I'm thinking this is awesome and we're rolling on it and things are moving. I love the spike and I want one and he wants one I want to ride together sometime around here and you might but only if I ride a little he says. I think it would be nice riding up the coast and he says that would be great and I Harley-Davidson chopper not only is it Harley-Davidson and it rides like a Harley and it looks like a harlly but it's got the power the speed and the awesomeness of a chopper, and yeah Harleys are kind of choppers and they're kind of barbers but really they have a look at their own and it's more like a cruiser look but these things look really cool and Harley-Davidson kind of started out with a chopper look with the Sportster and it changed into a cruiser and people love it

Hera and yes a little bit Zeus

Olympus we rock and we're going to start Mass producing these and sell them in the shops Max says he's going to copy it but we're not so sure

[angelatmidnight1]

oh wow, I really loved reading through your mirage/wattson fic, its so well written and adorable and it kind of put a smile on my face the whole time :) I was wondering if you could write something with wraith and wattson? Maybe wattson getting wraith cuz shes usually more quiet and needs to loosen up a bit? Or for instance, the other way around- wraith getting wattson, which catches her by surprise since she never in a lifetime would think that the reserved wraith would have this playful side

Can You Keep A Straight Face?

The voices in Wraith’s head have been giving her a hard time and she’s become more reclusive than usual. She has managed to push everyone away except for Wattson, who is determined to be her light at the end of the tunnel. The Legends have time off away from the games and it is the perfect opportunity for the engineer to talk to the mysterious skirmisher. While they spend time together, Wattson hears a song on the radio that she wants Wraith to explain to her. Wraith tells Wattson what a ‘poker face’ is and the engineer takes it upon herself to explore the meaning further. Wraith always says that nothing phases her, but is that really true? Natalie wants to know for sure and, well, let’s say Renee saw this coming a mile away.

“Tea?”

Wattson tentatively pushed the mug of dark liquid towards the skirmisher across from her. The mug was a purple, 16 ounce galaxy themed mug that Natalie bought especially for Renee. The black tea inside the mug was prepared with two spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of milk, made exactly the way Wraith preferred. Wattson didn’t know a lot about Wraith but she did catch her drinking tea on the occasion. This prompted the engineer to seek out a mug that matched Wraith’s theme and, at least in her opinion, the galaxy mug fit her perfectly. Wraith, however, didn’t look up when the mug was pushed in front of her. She was staring at the wall across from her with a distant look in her pale eyes. Wattson frowned; the engineer knew that the voices kept her safe in the Apex Games, but she wasn’t sure if she could say the same thing outside the arena. There weren’t any games scheduled in at least three days and, clad in her oversized black hoodie and snug fitting jeans, Wraith looked so small and alone. Wattson waited to see if her friend would acknowledge her but, when the skirmisher began to anxiously tug at the cuffs on her sleeve, she leaned forward and placed her hand on her arm. “...Renee?”

Wraith flinched and accidentally brought her knee up to the table with a loud bang. The entire table shook and threatened to spill the contents of her mug. Wattson jumped away with a squeak and eyed her worriedly once she finally returned her gaze. The skirmisher was rubbing her knee with a pained expression on her face and sighed quietly. “Sorry..” Wraith’s voice barely qualified as a whisper and she finally took notice of the hot tea in front of her. “I’m not thirsty, Natalie. Thanks though.”

“Oh…” Natalie answered sadly as she picked up the mug and brought it to the middle of the table. The last thing she wanted was the tea to go flying if something or someone startled her again. “Well, how about chocolate cake then? I made some this morning.” Wattson tried to sound happy again as she bounded over to the nearby countertop. The chocolate cake was encased in a cake pan but the engineer cut two slices out of it ahead of time. Right before she could take the lid off, however, Wraith shook her head and pulled her sleeves over her hands. “No thank you.” She murmured, her fingers finding the soft cotton material and curling into it. Wattson turned back around and could not hide the sadness on her face this time.

“But you love chocolate cake. It’s good, I promise! Elliott and Octavio already had a slice.” She responded as she picked the cake pan up and brought it over to her anyway. Wraith’s lip curled into a very, very faint smile once the dessert was in front of her. There were, indeed, two slices missing from another side of the cake. 

“I don’t think there’s any food that Elliott wouldn’t eat. That’s probably why the fridge tends to be empty.” Wraith answered with a quiet chuckle that thrilled Wattson to no end. Smiles were rare for the skirmisher, but laughter? Those were worth more than gold. The smile disappeared almost as soon as it appeared but it didn’t deter the engineer. Everyone had to start somewhere, right? 

“Well, don’t just take their word for it.” Natalie chirped, popping the lid off of the cake pan and letting the sweet aroma of chocolate fill the air. “Let me get you a slice!”

The pair sat in comfortable silence as they ate their cake in the small kitchen. Wraith even elected to drink the tea to go along with her cake and had a small, content smile on her face. “The cake is good, Natalie.” The skirmisher offered after a few more minutes of silence. “The tea is too. Not too sweet and not totally bitter.”

“I’m glad you like it. We can have tea like this whenever you want. Did you know that there’s even some teas that change color? It’s amazing!” Natalie spoke excitedly and earned another quiet chuckle from the raven haired woman.

“No, I didn’t know that. We’ll have to try it sometime.” 

Wattson beamed and finished off the last few bites of her cake. “Then we will. It’s decided!” She declared with two thumbs up. Renee nodded and went back to quietly eating her cake. In the course of listening to the white noise inside the dropship, a thought popped up in Natalie’s mind, though she was hesitant to breathe life into it. She let the thought run laps in her head before deciding, even more hesitantly, to put a voice behind it. 

“Renee?”

Wraith looked up and put her mug down on its matching plate. “Yes?”

“Um..” The engineer looked down at her hands and took a breath before looking at her. “I just want to say that if you ever need someone to talk to, or just sit with, I’d be more than happy to help. I know that your...um…” Wattson trailed off and felt her heart pound in her chest. Maybe it was better to stop talking, but something in her told her to keep going. “Whenever we’re on a team together, and you know that someone is aiming at you? Those voices? I understand that they help keep you safe. I just wanna tell you that there isn’t one person on this ship who wouldn’t do the same thing.” Natalie offered with a small, nervous smile, praying to whatever god was listening that she communicated the message in the most efficient way possible. Wraith blinked and pushed the crumbs around on her plate, processing each word the engineer said to her. Natalie felt worry grip her insides when the skirmisher didn’t respond right away. What if she upset her? What if she got up and decided not to talk to her again? The worries rose all the way to her neck and threatened to choke her, but they were quelled by Wraith’s grateful glance. 

“Thank you, Natalie. I’ve learned to live with the voices. They help remind me who I am and what I need to find, but...I appreciate your concern.” Renee replied in a soft voice but, this time, her smile was genuine. 

Wattson squeed and unintentionally knocked her chair over as she ran over to give Wraith a hug. She was careful in how she hugged her for a couple of reasons: One, she didn’t know if Wraith even liked hugs. And two, Wraith was a little shorter and smaller than she was, and she didn’t want to suffocate her. So, with that in mind, the engineer gently wrapped her arms around the woman’s shoulders. Wraith flinched and stood in her hold awkwardly, prompting the blond to release her. “Any time, mon ami~. Hey, do you like music? Here we are sitting in this quiet ship when we could be rocking out to some tunes.” Natalie giggled as she skipped back over to a different part of the counter, standing in front of her portable radio. It was small, round, orange, and had little lightning bolt stickers on the side. Octavio got it for her and spray painted it and the sight made a little blush dust her cheeks. Wraith watched Natalie press various buttons before an upbeat, yet unfamiliar melody sounded from the little device. “I don’t listen to music too often.” The skirmisher admitted with a light shrug of her shoulders. “I guess anything would be fine with me.”

“Got it~!” Wattson asserted happily as she flipped through the different stations. Some songs were too loud and others made her blush but, after a few more changes, the engineer found one that made her smile. “Oooh, I like this one. Come on, Renee, come dance with me!” Wattson demanded with a grin, not waiting for an answer as she ran over and pulled the woman to her feet. Wraith suddenly looked uncomfortable and didn’t move from the spot she was pulled to. “I don’t know how to dance, Natalie.” She mumbled, crossing her arms against her chest. By now, Natalie was swaying to the beat and took a hold of the woman’s wrists. “It’s easy! I’ll show you.” She giggled as she lightly pulled Wraith along to make her sway to the beat along with her.

While the pair, mainly Wattson, danced along to the beat of the song, the engineer raised a brow and turned towards Wraith. “Renee? What’s a...po-ker face?” She questioned, saying the term slowly and letting go of her friend’s wrists. Renee retreated to her seat once freed from Natalie’s grasp. “A poker face is a blank facial expression. You’re not smiling, but you’re not frowning either. It helps when you’re playing card games, like poker, because the person you’re playing against can’t tell what cards you have because your face doesn’t give it away. This is what Elliott tells me anyway.” She explained with her foot unconsciously tapping to the beat. Wattson slowly nodded before perking back up and pulling up a seat beside the skirmisher. “So, poker faces are kind of what you have, right? I mean, when we fight together, you always look so composed. Even if we’re getting shot at.”

Wraith thought about it and shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, I suppose you could say that.” She confirmed with a small nod, adding,  “ Nothing really phases me anymore.”  

“So even something scary happens, or maybe something funny, it won’t affect you?” Natalie asked curiously with a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Wraith shook her head and gave the engineer a strange look as she stepped closer to her. Without any warning, Wattson gently poked the skirmisher’s cheeks and giggled as she reeled away. 

“Why did you do that?” Wraith grunted and rubbed both sides of her face. 

“I’m doing what the song says! Poke-her face. But you’re the strongest woman I know. So you should be able to keep up a poker face, oui?” Wattson grinned, a rush of playfulness coming over her as she booped her nose. The skirmisher groaned and swatted at her hand but Natalie kept coming back. 

“Stop, Nat...that’s not even what the song means--” Wraith’s breath hitched as the engineer’s pokes wandered to her sides. She sharply recoiled out of Wattson’s reach and the voices in her head started whispering: 

You’re not safe there. 

Danger, move!

Wattson blinked at the conflicted look on her friend’s face. “Renee?” She whimpered as she took a slow step forward. “I didn’t mean to--”

The second Wattson approached her, Wraith turned around and phased out of the room, leaving a dejected engineer behind.  

It was true that Wraith’s voices kept her safe by warning her of impending doom. A sniper having her in their sights, a punch about to be thrown her way...she always knew what was about to happen to her. Having that knowledge kept her one step ahead of any opponent before her. An extension of keeping her safe, however, also included warning if someone tried to tickle her. The voices added this extra layer of precaution because the skirmisher was both ridiculously ticklish and friends with the only one brave enough to touch her, besides Wattson that is: Elliott Witt. Wraith nearly broke Mirage’s arm the first and only time he decided to tickle her. He just wanted to make a pretty girl smile, he said, but Wraith made him swear on everything he loved that he’d never try a stunt like that again. Elliott was too frightened to refuse and never brought it up again. But now, alone in her room, Wraith pressed her hand against the spot that Wattson poked and shuddered at the lingering ticklish sensation. She didn’t like being ticklish; it made her feel weak. Powerless. There wasn’t a bullet large enough or a knife sharp enough to break her composure, so why did a poke to her side or a scribble on her neck force her to laugh? The skirmisher growled and stared at the ground but then she thought about Wattson. Wattson didn’t tickle her to make her feel weak, she just wanted her to smile. Like Elliott did. Wraith felt a little guilty for leaving her behind the way she did. But maybe, she thought, she’d go back and show the engineer how to really keep a ‘poker face’, just like hers. Wraith smirked and set a portal from her room back to the kitchen. 

Wattson sniffled and rubbed her eyes as she put the plates and mug in the cupboards. She blew it. She had one opportunity to become better friends with Wraith and she mucked it up. “Tu es un idiot (You’re an idiot)..” She cursed aloud, finding her chair and burying her face into her hands. She started to cry and didn’t hear the faint sound of a portal being set. Wraith heard the cries from the corner she hid in and felt even worse. She had to make this right in the only odd way she knew how. The skirmisher, a veteran in stealth, creeped over to the crying woman and grabbed her by the back of her shirt. Wattson gasped but didn’t have time to scream as Wraith pulled her into the portal that led back to her room. 

Once the pair was in Wraith’s room, the skirmisher closed the portal and released Wattson. The engineer felt a little woozy and wobbled on her legs, prompting Wraith to hold her arms to steady her. “Easy, easy. I’ve got you.” Renee whispered as she sneakily removed her scarf and bound it around Natalie’s wrists. Natalie, once her head stopped spinning, tried to look over her shoulder at the woman but she kept ducking behind her. 

“Renee? I’m sorry for upsetting you. I won’t ever touch you again. Will you please forgive me?” She pleaded as she kept trying to turn around to face her. It was difficult to do because Renee’s shorter height meant that she could just hide behind her. But another thing that was difficult, the engineer realized with alarm, was that she couldn’t pull her wrists free from whatever was holding them together. “Renee?”

“You don’t need to apologize, Natalie. I knew your every move.” Renee answered coolly, walking towards her bed with the longest end of the scarf in her hands. She gave it a hard pull and dragged the engineer along with it and, once Wattson was sitting on the mattress, she pushed her flat on her back and tied the rest of the scarf to the bed frame. Terror washed over Natalie’s face as she struggled and looked up at whom she believed was still her friend...right?

“I’m sorry!” Natalie wailed with the tears finally rolling down her cheeks. “Please don’t hurt me, Renee. I--”

“Hurt you? Natalie, you’re my friend. I’d even say you’re my best friend so long as you don’t repeat that to Elliott. I would never hurt you.” The skirmisher assured as she knelt beside her. 

Wattson blinked away what was left of her tears and opened her mouth to speak. What came out, though, was a squeak as the skirmisher tapped her sides. “Whahat--” Natalie sputtered and squealed as Wraith hooked both of her small hands around her sides and raked her fingers up and down. “Whyhyhyhy aahahahre yohohuhuh--REheheheheheheheneee!” The engineer giggled madly as Wraith quickened her tickling pace. Unlike Wraith, who wore a thicker hoodie, Wattson’s thinner Nessie shirt made it easy to literally get under her skin. 

“I thought you’d want to know how to keep a poker face, like I do. I told you that nothing phases me. Not pain, not death, not tickles.” Wraith smirked a playful, evil smirk as the realization colored Wattson’s face. The skirmisher reached under her shirt and clawed at her bare belly, drawing out squeaky cackles from the woman. “Can you say the same?” Was the last thing Renee asked before she kneaded and scratched all over Natalie’s tummy. 

Wattson shrieked and laughed loudly as Wraith’s short nails scratched along every ticklish nerve on her stomach. She pulled at the makeshift bond that held her wrists in place and tossed her head back when Renee dragged a nail around her navel. 

“NAHAHAHAhahahahaha stahahahahahahahahp!” Natalie screamed and kicked her legs against the mattress while the skirmisher continued to torment her stomach. When Wraith poked her navel, the engineer snorted and turned over on her side. “PLEHEHEHEhehehehehase dohohohohohohn’t!” 

Wraith grinned and pulled Wattson back down and pinned her kicking legs with her powerful thighs. Wattson paled; she didn’t realize how strong the skirmisher was. “Don’t what, Nat?” She chuckled as she gripped her sides again and squeezed them repeatedly. Natalie laughed harder and tried to wiggle out of her hold but Renee didn’t let her go. “DOHOHOHohohohn’t tihihihihihckle! I cahahahan’t taahahahahake ihihihihihihit!” She squeaked, arching her back when Wraith’s fingers buried back into her tummy. “RENeneneheheheheee! Plehehehheheheehehase!”

“You need to learn how to tune out sensations.” Wraith calmly explained over Wattson’s mad laughter. “It isn’t easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. I’m going to help you build up your endurance.” She concluded quietly before ducking her head down and blowing a raspberry over her navel. Natalie’s screams went up in pitch and she shut her eyes, shaking with laughter. 

“NOHOHOHOHAHA STAHAHAHAHAP!”

Renee chuckled again and blew another raspberry, causing Natalie to scream again and arch her back. “This is just one of many sensations you’ll have to learn to ignore. Try focusing on something else and Stop. Laughing.” The skirmisher accentuated each word with a poke to Wattson’s ribcage. Natalie sputtered and fell into a heavier laughing fit. Panic boiled inside of her since the skirmisher was coming awfully close to her armpits. 

“I CAHAHAN’T! IT’S TOHOHOHOHO MUHUHUHUHCH!  JAHAHAH’AHAHAHBOHOHONE! (I give up!) PLEHEHEHEHAH!” Wattson couldn’t finish her sentence and bucked as Wraith rubbed circles on her lower ribs. The engineer arched her back with another cry of laughter, yet Renee easily pushed her back down. “RENEHEHEHEHEE NOHOHOHOHOH!”

“You won’t get anywhere with that attitude. I need you to believe in yourself just like you believed in me.” Wraith smiled and tweaked her lower ribs before she started kneading her way up the ribcage. The skirmisher once believed that tickling was humiliating but now, she could see the appeal. It made her happy to see Wattson laugh, even if it was forced. “I’ll make you a deal, Nat. If you tell me where your worst spot is,” Renee began, flicking her nails up and down one rib that really made her struggle. “I might go easier on you..”

“NEHEHEHEHVER! I WOHOHOHOHN’T DOHOHOHOH IHIHIHIHT!” Natalie yelled and wriggled her trapped hands, the ticklish scratches driving her up the wall. 

Wraith smirked; that’s exactly what she hoped she would say. The skirmisher pretended to be disappointed and fluttered her fingertips against Natalie’s upper ribs. Wattson thrashed violently and shook her head in protest, her eyes snapping open and searching Wraith’s for mercy. “NOHOHOHOHT THEHEHEHRE! RENEE! HAHAHAHAVE MEHEHERCY!” She screeched, her eyes tearing up as she looked into the resolute, pale eyes of the skirmisher. Wattson wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to tickle here? Or do you mean...here?” Wraith suddenly leaned forward and buried her wiggling fingers into Wattson’s exposed armpits. She made her fingers into little clawlike shapes and jabbed her nails into her skin. The engineer let out a hoarse scream and finally dipped into hysterical, high pitched laughter. 

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAH THEHEHEHRE! NOHOHOHOHT THEHEHEHREAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Where is there? You keep saying, ‘not there, not there’, but I don’t know if you mean here…” Wraith mused as she dropped her hands back down to Wattson’s upper ribs. She kneaded her thumbs into each side of the ribcage and even though she laughed hard, the skirmisher already knew that her armpits were her hot spot. “Or here?” Renee finished innocently as she took her thumbs again and stroked the very center of her armpits. 

Wattson was in stitches and helplessly flopped against the mattress, pulling down on her wrists like crazy. They didn’t move an inch and the skirmisher took one finger on each hand and slid it up and down the length of her arms, forcing another desperate wail of laughter. 

“BOHOHOHOHOHTH! NEHEHEHEHEITHER! AAAAHAHAHAHAH I DOHOHOHOHOHN’T KNOHOHOHW JUHUHUST STAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!” Wattson managed to get all of that out in one breath before all she could do was struggle and laugh. 

Renee giggled and took both of her hands and dove onto only Natalie’s left armpit. She clawed her fingers again and scritched around the outside of the armpit, slowly following the curve to make her way back down to the center. “I’m sorry, Natalie, but I’m just not understanding you.” She snickered, sneaking in a quick pinch as she got closer and closer to the armpit. Natalie’s laughter just dipped back into manic giggles but, whenever the skirmisher flicked a nail against the hollow, she coughed out a laugh. “NOHOHOHOHOH MOHOHOHOHOHRE!” She begged, a few mirthful tears slipping down her cheeks as she desperately tried to sit up. “PLEHEHEHEHEASE! I THOHOHUGHT WEEHEHEHE WEEHEHRE FRIEHEHEHENDS!”

“We are friends, Natalie. But you’re not even trying to hold in your laugh. If this tickles that much and you really want me to stop, then why don’t you just put your arms down? I’m not the one holding them up..” Wraith flashed her an evil grin as she suddenly descended on her left armpit and tickled mercilessly. Wattson howled with another round of hysterical laughter and whipped her head around like mad. The tears kept coming, she kept pulling, and her arms stayed locked in place.

“AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH SAAHAHAHAHAH NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!”

Renee kept tickling Natalie’s armpit until her laughter became silent. She slowly, slowly, stopped wiggling her fingers to let her breathe, but kept her hands buried in each armpit. Natalie breathed raggedly and rubbed the mirthful tears off on her shoulder, looking up at the skirmisher with a mixture of awe and gratitude. “I...didn’t know you were so mean…” She panted tiredly and tilted her head back with a groan. “Mon Dieu (My God), my stomach hurts…”

“It isn’t my fault that you can’t keep a straight face, Natalie. I’d say try better, but it wouldn’t help against me.” Wraith teased and tensed her fingers, pretending as if she was about to launch another tickle assault. She snickered when the engineer jumped and squealed, the panic returning to her in full force. “You still haven’t put your arms down?” Renee tutted, tensing her fingers again and hovering both hands over Natalie’s right armpit. “I guess that means you want me to keep tickling.” The skirmisher continued with a shrug before tauntingly wiggling her fingers over the sensitive skin.

Wattson’s eyes widened and she struggled frantically, nervous giggles already sounding from her as Wraith’s fingers grew ever so closer. “I can’t!” The engineer whined, grunting as she pulled down on the scarf as hard as she could. What was the scarf made out of? Metal? “I’m trying, Renee, and I can’t! Please! I can’t put my arms down!” She cried out desperately, giving the skirmisher puppy dog eyes as she held her hand just above the armpit. Renee remained silent, a heavy tension filling the air before she spidered all ten fingers into the poor woman’s armpit. “You’re not trying hard enough. I know you, Natalie, and I’m sure you can do anything you put your mind to.” She smirked, unable to help herself from joining in Natalie’s screams of laughter. 

Apparently, Wattson’s right armpit was just a little bit more sensitive than the left one, and Wraith picked up on that immediately. She used one hand for scratching little circles against her skin and the other one for squeezing where the armpit met her upper ribs. By now, Natalie was crying with laughter and gave up on trying to free her wrists. “AIEHEHEHEHEHEHS PIHIHIHIHIHIHTÉ! PAHAHAHAHAS PLUHUHUHUHS S'IHIHIHIHL VOOHOHOHOHUS PLHAHAHAÎT! (Have Mercy/No More Please!)” The engineer cried before dipping into silent laughter again, her arms shaking in place. 

Renee eventually let up on the tickling when Natalie’s face started turning deep shades of red. She leaned up and smirked as she untied the woman’s wrists and laughed when she immediately pulled her arms down. “That’s all you had to do, Nat. You’re lucky that we’re friends, otherwise I may have kept going until you put your arms down yourself.” She threatened playfully as she wrapped her scarf back around her neck. Wattson trembled and rubbed her arms against her sides, a smile still etched across her lips. The ticklish sensations still plagued her skin, but she was happy that Wraith seemed to loosen up and smile...even if it was at her expense.

I hope this was okay! I got the inspiration from Lady Gaga’s Poker Face. Please let me know what you think!

[bootyful-seventeen]

Earth angel

Series: 13 days of weenie svt

Genre: ughhh fluff?? Crack???? Idk I went around a few things

Soonyoung sat slumped over the pool of water that showed him your image. His tired eyes stared at the water until his vision became blurry and he had to sit back to rub the heels of his palms into his eyes until he heard grunting and the sound of chains falling off a metal gate.

His eyes snapped open as he leaned over the pool, tired eyes wide as he watched you. “Don’t you dare go in there, don’t you dare go in there, don’t you dare- oh my god my human is a damn idiot for going in there.” Soonyoung half whimpered and half screamed out as he bolted from his mirror to grab his heavenly weapon, he sent a glare at Jeonghan who was lazily smirking at him.

“Don’t even think about it,” he growled just as he ran towards the portal that would send him straight to your location in the blink of an eye.

Soonyoung’s eyes were trained on the abandoned building in front of him as his body turned into a white mist and he was carried past the wide open front doors and let his spirit get pulled to the area of the building you were in. When he was a few feet behind you his body had reformed and he had his weapon held at the ready when he saw thin tendrils of black smoke creeping towards you.

“Get out of the way!” He screamed while he charged towards the black smoke that was quickly retreating into a hallway while you scrambled to get out of his way.

You stared in confusion as you watched the strange man in white run past you and into a hallway that seemed much darker then before.

“What the actual fuck?” You stared in confusion as the man came running back towards you. A yelp tore from you when he grabbed onto your arm and pulled you along behind him until you were standing back at the front gates.

“Are you crazy or just plain stupid?” The stranger barked at you.

Wrenching yourself free from his grip you glared at him. “Excuse me? I should be asking you that since you came in swinging with a god damn sword!”

“Well then you shouldn’t be so stupid and go somewhere that has signs that say do not enter, or go to a place that has legends of gruesome murders that happened here twenty five years ago!”

Growling, you turned around and angrily walked back up towards the abandoned building. “I can do whatever the hell I want mister! And you,” you swivelled around to jab at his chestier ha finger when he followed a few steps behind you, “can gladly fuck off. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so stay out of my business.” Twirling back around to March back into the building, you stumbled back when the strange man was standing in front of you. “What the fu-“

“-I’ve had enough of your god damn shit Y/n.” Soonyoung effortlessly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

Flailing your arms and legs, you only managed to scream for a split second before you felt lighter then air for a few moments, and then the familiar surroundings of your living room was where you were left standing with the strange man. Or well, perched on his shoulder while he stood in the room. “...how the..?”

“It’s called teleportation. I’m sure you humans have heard about it?” He sneered as he threw you onto your couch. “For someone who watches a lot of sci-if and fantasy, this is really going over your head.” Soonyoung sheathed his sword and did a quick once over of the area before he turned to you. “Now quit making decisions that will put your life in danger because it gets very tiring having to travel back and forth to save you all the time.”

“What are you my guardian angel?” You spat out.

Soonyoung flashed a fake smile at you. “Congratulations on guessing the correct answer. Do you want a sticker for it?”

“You’ve got to be joking? How stupid do you think I am to believe that angels exist?”

Soonyoung blankly stared at you and revealed the white feathery wings he kept hidden from human eyes. “Oh yeah cuz I have the kind of dedication to get a pair of wings like this,” he stretched them out to their full size as he spoke. A blank expression slowly melting away to a more annoyed one. “And find a pair that could move so realistically. Do I even need to show you my blood bec-“

Soonyoung sucked in a breath when you stabbed his side with the letter opener you left on the small table beside your couch. His mouth dropped open while he stared wide eyed and angry at your shocked expression while you clutched the letter opener in your hands. Watching the shimmering golden ichor slowly drip down the blade and onto your hands.

“You stabbed me!”

“You said you were an angel!”

“So? That’s not a good excuse! You still stabbed me!” He lifted up the hem of his shirt and groaned in annoyance from the rip and the golden ichor that stained that particular spot.

Meanwhile you felt yourself paling as you watched his wound close itself up. “... it just healed itself...”

“No duh. I’m an angel. I’m not supposed to be very easy to hurt.”

“That’s actually... kinda really cool.”

Soonyoung’s eyebrows quirked up, quickly getting anxious from how intently you were staring at him again.

“Can I do it again?”

“NO!” He dragged out as he took the letter opener away from you. “Didn’t your parents ever tell you that it’s not nice to stab people?”

“Well they didn’t say anything about a-“

“Don’t even try it because it’s still a no from me.” He tossed the metal object into the air and you yelled in amazement when the letter opener disappeared in a cloud of white and gold smoke. “How about instead of stabbing me again, I’ll do something else for you.”

“Like what?”

“Like, um,” Soonyoung scratched the back of his head as he thought about what he could show you that wouldn’t get him into trouble. “I can... take you on a flight?”

“To where?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere?” He responded I surely but took your hand in his and lead you to your balcony. “Now hold on tight to me or else you’ll fall and I really don’t want to save your life twice in one day.”

He wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you tight against his body before he shot up into the sky. Your mouth clenched shut as you wrapped your legs around his waist to anchor yourself to his body. Through squinted eyes, you watched the city below zip past you until the forest of grey turned into a forest of green and his speed had slowed down to a comfortable glide.

“Holy shit,” you gasped. “This is amazing!” You spared a glance at the angel to find that he was already looking at you, which made you turn away from him with heated cheeks as he landed in a meadow of flowers. A silence fell over you two as you took a few steps away from the angel and by some wild flowers that caught your eye before you turned around to face him again. “I’m sorry for being so rude, and stabbing you earlier.”

Soonyoung was already resting on the grass when you spoke. He looked up at you with the corners of his lips quirked upwards in a slight smile. “Don’t mention it because that’s probably a story that would make Jeonghan laugh. But don’t try and stab me again though. Angels may be able to heal quickly but we still feel pain.”

Kneeling down beside him, you rummaged in you bag and handed him a chocolate bar you threw in there that morning. “Take it as my way of saying sorry but... I don’t know your name unless you want to be called Mr. Angel.”

“My name is Soonyoung.” He said while taking the chick from your hands, opening it and offering you a piece. “I know we started off on the wrong foot-“

“-Clearly-”

“-So why don’t we start again?”

“Okay. Hi I’m Y/n and I’m a human.”

Soonyoung let out a genuine laugh at your eagerness and stuck his hand out to hold onto your extended hand. “I’m Soonyoung and I’m your guardian angel.”

[wookikun]

aesthetic tag game

tagged by @hiddenclawsof (who wrote the very first WooKi I've read and well I'm facing some unpleasant moments but u still remembers me and that heals me a lot)

rules: bold the aesthetics you relate to and add twenty of your own aesthetic qualities for others to bold.

(soft!) baby pink | iridescent | glitter is always a good option | no bra | minimalistic tattoos | cherry patterns | sweet scented perfumes | wearing generous amounts of blush | doodling hearts | getting excited to pet an animal | fun nails | rewatching old barbie movies | hair sticking to glossed lips | heart shaped sunglasses | taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise | stuffed animals | protecting nature | stickers everywhere | teen movies | the light rain that falls from a clear sky at the beginning of the night |

(dark academia!) neutral tones | masculine outfits | studying languages | worn down copy of books | grey skies | turtleneck sweaters | loose fitting pants | hair tied with a silk ribbon | trying to remember a cool difficult word you read somewhere to use in a convo | thick belts | minimal makeup | windows fogged by rain | vintage jewelry | blouses with cuffed sleeves | reading a murder mystery and trying to solve it | oxford style shoes | sweater vests | subtitled old movies in a language you don’t speak | leaves crackling as you walk | annotating books to express your emotions about the story |

(edgy!) closet full of dark clothes | fishnet tights | makeup sweating off | neon signs | searching for unknown songs | chokers | band tees | doodling on old converses | finding smoking aesthetically pleasing but not doing it | weird humour | accidentally very dramatic | dim lights | layered outfits | chain belts | chipped nail polish | messy hair | low quality pics | piercings | combat boots | scribbling on desks |

(seventies!) colourful wardrobe | doodling flowers | wearing short shorts | using a bikini top or bra as a normal top | listening to ABBA | flowers in your hair | DIYing everything | jamming to songs alone in your room | drunkenly telling your friends you love them | patterned bandanas | mid heeled shoes | messy braids | flared sleeves | walking barefoot on grass or sand | bold sunglasses | the good kind of tired you get after doing something you enjoy for hours | feeding stray animals | fun patterned socks | room decorated with succulents and other plants | likes to go roller skating or skateboarding |

(preppy casual!) collared clothes | drinking juice out of a champagne glass | getting excited to see the met gala looks | thick headbands | small pastel cardigans | making your friends take your ootd pics | plaid mini skirts | tweed two pieces | watching reality tv to pass time | frilly tops | watching old hollywood movies | academically driven | long manicured nails | new year’s eve fireworks | colorful tights | layered golden jewelry | yearns for luxury brand items | decorating your room with fairy-lights | cursive and neat handwriting | lace details

(by @masterninjacow!) rainy mornings | sweet steaming tea | cats’ purrs | daydreaming about fantasies | back hugs | glinting necklaces | loud video games | grumbling thunder | constantly chewing gum | wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear to bed | watching horror movies at night | nibbling on chocolates | talking to yourself | short hair | sad lofi music | messy sketches | sweet-scented body wash | spicy noodles at midnight | hating physical affection but craving it at the same time | ending all texts with lmao or rip

(by @cherriigguk!) dried flowers | painting at 2 am in oversized sweater | up until sunrise | abundance of blankets and plushies | minimalistic colours | writing when you can’t sleep | warm banana bread on a winters day | stroking a sleepy dog | big eyeliner | butterfly clips | lo-fi hip hop | glossy lips and rose tinted cheeks | afternoon tea with old friends | oversized cardigans | herbal tea | dainty jewellery | self-care evenings | messy low bun or ponytails | dark hair | too many sketchbooks |

(by @iniquitouspoppy!) cuddling with pets | collecting art | journaling at night | flower dresses | raccoon eyes | thunderstorms | listening to music in bed | gaming | anything (pastel) rainbow | jumpsuits | taking pictures with an old camera | pictures everywhere | spending time with friends until the sun goes down | being alone and loving it | being alone and hating it | reading in the train or bus | just reading all the time | biking everywhere | buying flowers | biting your lip | blue skies, white clouds | big tattoos | piercings | stargazing |

(by @sweetae-tae) zoning out when talking to someone | travelling with friends | concerts and music festivals | doing something just because it makes others happy | being happy when loved ones are happy | mom-friending everyone | buying new flowers you know nothing about | baking for others | trying out new things | listening to one song on repeat for hours | not being able to find one specific song to listen to | doing things to keep your mind busy | a cool breeze during warm days | staying up for “just one more episode” | wishing on dandelions | collecting four-leaf-clovers | dimples | contagious laughter | decorating your room with photos and postcards and posters | winter nights when it snows heavily

(by @actuallythatwaspromise) bookstores | pearl necklaces | wishing on the first star at night | messy room | tall lace up leather boots | never breaking the rules | thigh high socks | peppermint-mocha frappes year round | no jackets in winter | standing outside in the rain | the scent of pine | watch documentaries for fun | navy blue room | knitted Blankets | eyes that are multi-colored | cool morning mist | perfectly formed sentences | reading poetry to learn new words | swords with golden hilts | wish anklets on so long that you forgot what you wished for

(by @kodabodaa) all black everything | vampire-esque | sitting outside on quiet nights | winged eyeliner | fucked up sleep schedule | standing outside during a downpour | meme photo folder | tattoos | piercings | loves to make people flustered through flirting | first meal not till after midnight | looks like could kill | laying in bed all day | majorly independent | playlists for everything | prince zuko trash | could read you to filth | lack of emotions | once i love, i love hard | not afraid of really anything |

(by @seoultraveller) intense eye contact | deep discussion about passions | naked dance sessions alone in the bedroom | learning foreign language through poetry, song, and history | studying historical dynasties | not studying out of pure disinterest | nervous lip biting | patience | having one drink alone at a hotel bar | pancakes or waffles on a weekend morning | driving down an empty road towards a roadtrip destination | a tryst over the summer that turns into a romantic storytime | traveling to put your school knowledge to use | mellifluous speech | does not speak unless spoken to first | peppermint hot chocolate by the fireplace | wine on the balcony | unknown intensity | crying in bed at night |

(by @daybreakx) hot drinks in tall mugs | glitter eyeshadow | the sensation in your mouth from peppermint + cold | the scent of roses | red lips | talking to yourself in another language | old disney movies | unsolicited information dumps | messy handwriting | cold days with lots of wind | listening to a song you love in public | a playlist for driving even if the drive is 10 min long | heart skipping a beat from happiness | the feeling when a concert is about to start | crime shows | sarcasm | drinking coffee while waiting for your flight | horror stories | scented candles all over the place | daydreaming as an escape |

(by @thelilyshope) sliding on floors wearing fuzzy socks | tennis shoes with dresses | loves horror | making your own coffee | lost in thought while in nature | staring at the night sky | loves the sunrise but doesn’t like feeling tired | falling asleep while bear hugging a plush | the feeling of excitement when discovering a new place | mysteries in old places | learning through travels | slowly reading books | longing for the future | fashion you love but could never try | interested in many but passionate only for a few | warming up under blankets after playing in snow | turning fear into excitement | embarrassing others in public | trying on weird things at the mall for fun | the go-to comfort friend

(by @yutopiada) morning runs through the sleepy neighbourhood | cutting your hair on a whim | clothes that are too big | podcasts and breakfast | writing letters to yourself | the sound and feeling of pressing the keys of a keyboard | songs that remind you of a precise memory | wanting to be different | scared of being forgotten | procrastination | body hair positivity | having a collection of wired earbuds in case one of them breaks | saving empty notebooks because they’re too precious to write in | claiming things as yours by putting a sticker(s) on it | that artificial strawberries and cream flavour | it’s not dessert unless it’s chocolate | white trainers | big, chunky shoes | staring at paintings/artifacts in museums for too long | enjoying old architecture

(by @hiddenclawsof ) walking at night to look for something interesting | collection of mystery/murder books | eyeshadow palettes that will not be used | highlighters | converse | not good at giving advises | vintage bracelets | old philosophical movies | peppermint | cries watching animals are being rescued | fidgets when thinking | instruments | typos | kaomoji | observes thoroughly | googles simple words just because | eyeglasses | black earrings | rain | strolling around the bookstore

(by @wookikun) making a group chat with all my fake accs just to comfort myself | love to stay alone but hate being lonely | become a talkative person when I meet someone I really love | love writing & reading | pansexual | a good listener | never show my true self so fast | always thinking before sleeping | can't sleep without clinging to bolster | shallow sleep whenever I'm not at my home | animes | wu xia series | coffee | accessories like bracelet, necklae, earrings | mostly use men purse instead of women's | imagine drawing with clouds | spicy foods | audio drama adaption cause I'm so lazy to read these days | dreams that I still need to follow | confessed to my crush and got rejected years ago

I'm not gonna tag anyone cuz I'm unfamiliar here but still I want to do this si without tagging I just do it :(((((

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #270

“please remain calm; the end has arrived. we cannot save you; enjoy the ride.”

Do you own pastel-colored pants? No. What type of lotion do you use? I don't really use it. Nothing seems to help how dry my skin is. What were your favorite clothing stores in high school? Hot Topic. If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color? Pastel pink, but realistically (given a pink car would probably have a paint job I'd have to pay for, I assume?), I like burnt orange cars. Not too brown-ish, though. What is your favorite color, do you look good in it, & do you wear it a lot? Pink, probably not, and no. Name someone you know who hates pink. Idk. What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? "Nobody's Home." Do you kill bugs? Sometimes. Depends. If they're in my house, most likely. Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls? No. Do you own any rompers? No. What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day? I made a birdhouse out of a milk carton once. Animal Planet taught me lol. Do you use window clings (aka window stickers)? No. What color is your stapler? Black. Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room? Ugh, no, but that's one reason I want to move to somewhere I have a bigger room for a desk so I don't do everything in my damn bed. What do you miss about college? Feeling like I was worth something and on a "proper" path. Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush? No. What is/was your dream school? I never had a "dream" school. Do you wish you could talk to someone about your past? If so, who? Idk, probably someone. What motivates you? Music and/or videos on whatever subject I could use motivation in, like self-care on my bad days. Have you ever completed a weight loss program? No. Tried, though. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I went through a doctor appointment entirely without Mom just a few days ago; she had to stay in the car due to chemo, so I filled stuff out, checked in/out alone, answered questions on my own, that business. I'm entirely aware it's sad as hell that a 24 y/o did that for the first time, but if you knew just how dependent I am on my mom, you'd get it. Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter? Valentine's when I actually have someone to celebrate with, but I love Easter as an aunt with how excited the kids are about candy and all. Easter sorta rubs me the wrong way though since, y'know, Christianity essentially stole and rebuilt it. Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early? I myself don't even decorate. Mom only does for Christmas, and it's very last minute. What’s your favorite Starbucks drink? I don't drink Starbucks. What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took? *checks phone* uh the one where I'm wearing a red tank top is okay. That's all you can see cuz FUCK taking full-body pics of me. What’s on your wish list right now? Ha, I actually have a list in my phone of things I really want/need to buy when I can. A few include a bigger terrarium to Venus, a treadmill, an Unus Annus shirt before the channel and thus merch expire, glasses for driving... What do you use to sweeten your tea? I don't drink tea. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, I don't wear enough colors or makeup in general to warrant buying one. When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? The aforementioned doctor visit. How would you rate your self-esteem? Low, healthy, or high? Low as like, the deepest oceanic trench probs. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yeah. Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff? Hilary. Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet? Only ever to just be a goth to live out my inner fantasy of regularly flaunting that aesthetic. Do you enjoy putting outfits together? Not particularly. Would you rather it rain or snow? Snow! What does your umbrella look like? Don't have one. What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Do you mean like, emotionally/mentally toxic? I'm guessing probably yes. Even though parts of it were entirely realistic, understandable reactions/behaviors, I most definitely had some toxicity in me regarding the breakup, too. Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops? Uggghhhh, both are so cute. On me, I'd only ever wear tunic tops, but on others, I tend to find cropped tops cuter. What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous? I don't pay enough attention to this to really know... hm. Yeah, idk. Which YouTuber do you want to be more like? I could only dream of being as motivated and smart and determined and "I can do this shit" as Markiplier jfc I Love One Man Only. Do you like stuffed animals? EEEEEEEEK yes!!!! What was your favorite class in high school? Art. Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes? Yes; not to brag whatsoever, but too many for me to remember. I remember I got my very first B in 5th grade in I think math, and I was so bummed out. Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what? I don't think so. Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today? I'm content-ish, not happy, but also not unhappy. Is your bed right by a window? There's one to my upper right and middle left, but my bed's not exactly against either. Do you spend more time in your bedroom or your living room? I barely leave my bedroom. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? Halloween, if I actually did decorate. Do you name stuffed animals still? Very rarely. Depends on what it is, the importance, etc. What titles did you win in the senior class polls? I FUCKIN READ THIS AS "TITTIES" AND WAS JUST LIKE... Anyway, none. Were you popular in school? No. If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in? Only NC. Who was your best roommate? Well, Jason, if he even counted as a "roommate." Was your first roommate your best roommate? See above, considering idk if he fits the term; if he does, then yes. What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on? Disney World. Have you ever wanted to be a model? No. What years did you attend prom? Sophomore (bf was a senior and he took me) and senior. What do you want to be for Halloween? I was recently listening to a metal version of Oogie Boogie's song from TNBC and it hit me: MISS Oogie Boogie. A fat bitch could pull that shit off, watch me ho. Which member of your family are you closest to? My mom. If you have any regrets, what is the biggest one? If not, why do you have no regrets? Letting a boy become absolutely all that mattered and more to me. Would you ever apply to be on reality TV? Why? Ew, no. I don't need any more people judging me and my life. What is the best thing that has ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program that saved my life, literally. Do you have a hard time letting things go? It depends on what it is, but generally, yes. I recently realized one of my greatest flaws: I respond very, very poorly to loss, in any way. Looking back on people (especially people), events, other things... a negative, chronic reaction to loss is present throughout. What have you accomplished in life that has made you the most happy? Emotionally healed, a lot. I don't think some things will ever fully scar over, but nevertheless, I don't mentally have fuckin gashes in me. Have you ever struggled with your weight? Ever since the breakup, yes. I thought I was slightly fat before then, but looking at pictures now, I just think "damn hunny u look gud" and realize I was perfectly healthy. But anyway, I was put on a medication called Abilify (full-on name droppin', fuck this med), and it MURDERED my metabolism. I could eat a fuckin carrot and gain five pounds, probably. Emotional eating probably contributed too, but here's the thing: my current doctor took me off of it, knowing the moment I mentioned it that it was not only bad for me and my conditions but also responsible for the extreme weight gain? Pounds dropped like a ton of bricks, and this started before my emotional eating began to die off and regulate. I lost around 80 pounds just from dropping a goddamn pill. Cue college essay-long rant here about how my body image was slaughtered, how much I loathe the fucking doc that kept me on the med and blamed everything on me, and now how I've been stuck weight-wise for two years despite a vast plethora of methods to continue shedding a;sdlkfajkwlelawe GUYS I could rant til my hypothetical great-grandchildren die. When you are out with your friends are you loud and outgoing or shy and reserved? It depends on who the friend is, where we are, etc., but generally, I'm just awkward, trying to be outgoing when in fact I'm questioning every single thing I say and do al;wekjrkawde this survey has taken a TURN. Do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? I don't leave my pj's unless I have to leave the house and go inside somewhere besides like, a gas station or something that's just "whatever." In high school did you have a lot of friends? Do you still keep in touch? I wouldn't say a *lot*, no, but not a tiny amount, either. The only one I ever still see is Girt, but I keep up with many on Facebook via the like button and shit, ha. Do you really care about such issues as abortion, religion, and global warming? Fuck yes I do. Who is the biggest womanizer you know? Juan sure was, but I haven't been in contact with him for years. Would you ever have a threesome? No. Who is the most attractive person you know? Of those I personally know-know, my answer will probably always be Alon like jc she's beautiful. When did you last feel the most free? ZOINKS we can't ask that question in America rn. Is there anyone who likes (or liked) you and had a really hard time getting over you? I don't know. Did you ever love someone and feel like it was wrong? Love? No. Well, before I realized I was bi, maybe Mini counts, as then I was anti-LGBT and couldn't even imagine myself as anything but straight. What’s your favorite bug? Butterflies. What’s the longest amount of time you liked/loved somebody for? Yeesh... I still can't say with absolute confidence I no longer love Jason at all, whom I started dating in 2012 and went head over heels for. What song makes you cry? There's a few that are capable of it sometimes, but do fucking not play "Stairway To Heaven" if I'm within 10 miles of you. "Another Life" by MiW usually makes me tear up towards the end, but it normally doesn't get that far anymore. Do you like rock or rap music better? Rock, as I'm not a rap fan. If you could watch someone change, would you? Yes let me live my life a;lsdkfjaws Ever known someone with an eating disorder? I don't know. I think maybe? Have you ever had a white Christmas? I think? The best snow we ever got was late Christmas night though, and the next morning was a total whiteout. What’s something you want to do but aren’t sure of yet? Hm. Idk. I'm pretty sure of most things I want to do. Biggest lie you ever told? I'm not entirely sure and I'd rather not search for one. Do you have a religion? I don't fit perfectly into any. I relate most with Neo-Paganism, but even that I deviate from some. Believe that there is a point to churches? I mean sure, people have the right to believe in/worship what they want to, and some people get a lot of joy and reassurance out of going. How do eat Oreos? "I split them in half and lick the cream before eating the cookie." <<<< Converse or Vans? Idc. Eh, maybe Converse, but idk. Dancing or watching others dance? I love watching others dance, it's why I enjoyed dance recitals and competitions. Favorite thing to touch/feel? My cat! <3 Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? Both would be horrifying, but I guess earthquake. I've had an outrageous fear of tornadoes since I was very little. Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa, duh. Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight? Start a fight, I guess. Trying to sully someone's name with false information would haunt me way more than starting an understandable fight. What has been the best New Year's for you so far & why? I don't know. What is the weirdest fear you’ve ever heard of someone having? Do you have any weird fears, and if so, what are they? Uhhh I think maybe butterflies? Idk, even that's not too weird considering it's an insect, and that's common. I'm personally absolutely terrified of pregnancy and also whale sharks scare me quite a bit. ig that's weird. How did you find Tumblr? lol how could you not know at some point as a teen on the Internet. What of the 8 wonders of the world do you find the most fascinating, if any? I had to look them up lmao. I guess the Great Pyramid of Giza. I in general find Egyptian culture and art to be very cool. Do you have a webcam? If you do, do you ever use it and what for? I mean, it's built into the laptop. I never use it. What is something that you think is really underrated? The band Otep, for one. I mean they're not small, but I don't think most people interested in the metal genre know them. OH and then there are A LOT of YouTube artists that MADLY deserve to be signed. I have a large chunk of metal musicians I listen to, and those especially like Jonathan Young blow my fucking mind they haven't technically "made it," even if they have a large subscriber base. Have you ever had a dream where you died? Did anything weird happen to your body after it? Yes, a few. Now hang with me, okay? One of my worst nightmares as a kid involved the wicked witch from TWoO turning me into one of those fucking party things that you blow into it and the paper unfurls and her using it killed me. Yo idk. I was really scared of that witch as a kid. What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? How about the most realistic? It involved my dad and that's all that needs to be said. Realistic? Hm. This was SO long ago that I barely remember *just* how real it felt, but I remember it felt real as fuck. I was very little when this happened. I dreamed that I went outside to our porch because there was a weird light and when I stepped outside, a swan and a goose flew down from the light onto the porch to become my late grandpa and my deeply beloved cat Midnight, who died from sickness. I'm sure it was just a dream now, but back then, I was VERY convinced it was like a vision from God or something, telling me they were okay and with us. Do you have a favorite fashion trend? What is it? Is there a fashion trend right now that you think is completely ridiculous, and if so, what? What do you think was the worst fashion trend of all time? I don't care about fashion enough to go in depth about all this. I'll tell you right now though that mullets were the worst mistake known to mankind. Do you tend to like original horror movies or re-makes better? What’s your favorite horror movie? Is it an original or a remake? If you're remaking an old one, I'll probably like it more since they're generally not nearly as cheesy. Modern horror movies, I don't have much of a preference. My fave is The Blair Witch Project, and it's an original. What is one characteristic in a person that you cannot stand? What characteristics do you like best in a person? Do you possess any of these characteristics? Those that act violent when they're angry, for one. Those scare me. Some traits that I really like are compassion, patience, genuineness, empathy, kindness just for the sake of being so, stuff like that. I'd like to think I've got some of those. It's notable that in my nightmares, I'm way more violent than I actually am, though. What kind of jeans do you like best? When I actually wore jeans, they were like solely skinny jeans. What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? A very abrupt and poorly-executed breakup after a long-term relationship and falling way, way too hard to be healthy. Does it still bother me? PTSD is stapled on my fucking forehead if you know the slightest about it. I've healed a whole lot, but I'm pretty sure it's a scar that's never going to even fully seal.

[spacetimewraithwrites-archive]

11/11/11

I was tagged by @touchingmadness! Thanks!

Rules: Answer 11 questions, ask 11 questions, tag 11 people to answer your questions.

1) Which OC is most likely to hold a grudge against you, the author?

Probably Guetry. It seems like he gets the shitty end of the stick every time. Although to be honest, Thrive and Warren do too, but I think Guetry would be the one to actually blame me and actively hate me for it lmao

2) What is one writing tool/resource that you swear by?

I think google in general. It’s kind of a joke answer but in all honesty, I don’t know where I’d be without it, in terms of researching the stupidest stuff to get somewhat accurate for my books.

3) Career writer or hobbyist?

I would LOOOOOOVE to make a career out of doing what I was born to do. In fact, I’d go so far as to say my absolute dream is for my books to become a movie franchise/show on like Amazon Prime or Netflix or w/e lol

4) Do you have a favorite notebook? What does it look like?

I have a bunch of favorite notebooks and I’ve used exactly zero of them. lol they’ve usually got cool patterns or shapes, I’ve said this before but my WIP stuff is literally all bunched in my head and if I do keep track somewhere it’s either in a plain black college-ruled notebook (which I haven’t updated in like...a year) or Google Docs

5) What about a favorite pencil/pen?

I don’t even think I know how to write by hand anymore lmao

6) Do you have any laptop stickers? If yes, what are they?

I just bought some off of Wish a couple of weeks ago!!! They’re not here yet (they’re due here any day, actually) but they’re a bunch of alien and space-related ones because uhhhhh ya boi loves them aliens (I’mma be first in line at Area 51 if I’m not already in there because I’m a fucking alien myself lmao)

7) If you have to marry one of your OCs, which would you choose?

Thrive. Thrive. THRIVE. THRIVE.

8) What’s a pairing that you really hope that your readers won’t ship?

Uhhh I don’t care, really. Ship whoever. I encourage crazy ships. But actually, maybe don’t ship Warren/Hastings cuz...well, Hastings is a racist and that would be gross and inappropriate.

And I hope nobody would ship Guetry/Alec cuz first of all, how dare you (lol) but also they’re more like siblings.

9) What’s your personal theme song?

This is a great question. One to which I do not currently have an answer.

You know what, I’ve never put this as my answer before but I think “Run Away With Me” by Carly Rae Jepsen only because it literally makes me start crying within the first fucking bar of the song and I can’t ever explain why without people thinking I’m one fry short of a happy meal

You know all those Vines that use the chorus in the bg? You think it’s fun for me to watch those? It’s not lmao

10) Have you ever drawn your OCs?

I would if I had even an ounce of drawing talent in my possession. I wouldn’t STOP drawing them. You would have to pry the pencil from my cold, dead hands

11) Do you use a penname? If so, how did you pick it?

My “pen name” is the name I chose for myself (nb represent) and I’m still not sure if that’s gonna be my legal name someday but it’s the one I want to be called when I inevitably become famous (pfft)

⯆ Tags and questions down below! ⯆

I’m tagging (only if they’d like to participate!!) @pen-in-hand, @timefirewrites, and @ditzysworld! And feel free to do this even if I didn’t tag you! Here are your questions!

1) What was the hardest scene you’ve ever had to write?

2) Out of all your OCs, which ones would make the absolute worst couple? Just no chemistry, probably hate each other for real, aren’t even in the same WIP, etc.?

3) What’s the funniest line you’ve written?

4) What was the first WIP you’ve ever worked on?

5) What was the best compliment you’ve ever gotten in general?

6) Which OC is just the worst to write?

7) On the other hand, which OC is the best to write?

8) What would you do if you won a 90 million dollar lottery?

9) Your dream vacation? Your OCs’ dream vacations?

10) Who would direct your WIP if it became a movie?

11) If your OCs popped up in your house as living, breathing people, where in your town would you want to take them first, e.g. local museum, best pizza joint, tourist traps nearby?

[auntie-diluvian]

What would have happened in chapter 2 if you decided to write it?

Eek I’m so sorry I took so long to answer this!

The longer I think about it, the more I think a second part would have really jumped the shark any way I’d have written it, but I did have some thoughts*, which got… uh, kinda long (hence me taking forever to answer your ask), so I’m gonna put them beneath a cut if I can figure out how.

Some of this was sort of charted out in a long chat between me and Py (specifically I think the bit with Papyrus showing up, which I think was her idea?), but that conversation was so long ago it’s been lost to the sands of time (and tumblr chat having no search function), so most of this is new and specific to the version I posted.

I had a couple of scenes in my head that were a little more defined, the rest was just kind of vague, and it never came to a conclusion, really. So I guess, in theory, all of those “Reader goes to Italy and carboloads themself into personal fulfillment, Sans dies of skelesyphilis, and his gf fucks off somewhere” fantasies can still happen. If, you know, by the end of me rambling about this, any of that still sounds, oh god, you know, fuck, appealing, or whatever. If not, then uhhh whoops sorry I don’t have any ending for you at all, my dude.**

Also this hasn’t been beta’d or anything, I didn’t want to give it the same status as the stuff I actually publish, just like, on principle? so like. keep your expectations in check maybe? especially re: some of the most cliche and melodramatic dialogue I’ve written to date lol

The first scene was to take place on Jan 2nd:

Your friend, the one you’re now glad isn’t speaking to you, is standing at your door, anxiously clutching a small, rectangular cardboard box bearing a sticker you recognize as the logo of your favorite bakery. She speaks to you, and you feel your stomach flip.

“Um, so, these are for you. Uh, happy new year, by the way, and um, the frosting probably got a little smushed- you know how high they like to pile it on. But, you know, they’re fresh, so- should be good. Got your favorites.”

She hands you the box and you peek inside. Cupcakes, of course. Half the frosting’s on the lid, like she said, and you stare at them, dumbfounded. Can’t look at her.

She clears her throat.

“I know what I’m like, sometimes. I can be melodramatic and petty and- and self-destructive. I do dumb shit like drive away my closest friend with the silent treatment because I didn’t get the answer I wanted. I’m so sorry. You were right, and, god, furthermore? The entire thing was just… stupid, you know? Can you forgive me?”

You sway on your feet, dizzy.

“Of course.”

She steps forward and hugs you, and as her arms wrap around you, so does an awful panic.

Your cell phone is burning a hole in the pocket of your bathrobe, from the text you had received ten minutes prior, alerting you to your friend’s impending arrival:

Sans: she’s coming over to your place. please don’t tell her anything. i’ll figure something out. sorry to ask you to do this. i’ll make it up to you

Sans: ok that sounded wrong. not what i meant. everything sounds wrong though

Sans: i’m sorry

“Oh, thank you,” she says, sounding more grateful than she should, her scarf tickling your cheek. “That’s such a relief. Thank you.”

Really just laying that guilt on thick. Uhhh let’s see, after that:

You tell her you’re sick just to get her to go away and she believes you because you look horrible and are wearing a bathrobe in the middle of the afternoon

Cue angst about furthering the extent of your dishonesty

The next day she texts you just to “catch up” but in the middle of it, drops that Sans has been more than usually distant. They talked about so much and she knows it’s going to take time for things to get better, but since that first conversation on New Year’s Day, he’s kind of shut down-

But enough about her problems, what’s been going on with you? Oh, Not Much, you tell her. You’re still getting over your cold but you’ve gone back to work. It’s the truth, more or less. You have the sniffles, at any rate, though that’s more due to your daily extended heartbreak/guilt crying alone sessions than any physical malady.

A week later, your friend is back to sending you memes and talking about her job, your favorite shows you watch. Sans is living with her. Everything is normal, on the surface. Sans chimes in on the group chat every now and again, but that’s it. Not another word from him. The awful feeling in the pit of your stomach has faded to a dull ache that only bothers you at night.

Which is why it’s a total surprise when Papyrus shows up on your doorstep one evening and lets himself in. You didn’t even know he was in town. You’ve met him a few times, loved the guy, but he’s not here for a social call.

Well, okay, he is, but it’s not a pleasant one. He is. So. Disappointed. In you. He’s prepared a speech! To express the enormity of your fuckup.

About the 45-second mark of which, you break down sobbing. He stops immediately and grabs you a glass of water and a cool washcloth for your neck.

He apologizes as you calm down, and you have a long talk with him about the hows and the whys. It’s incredibly cathartic, you’ve never told anyone about any of this situation, and you’re drained by the time you’re done. But as he leaves, he has this look on his face and you hate it- pity tinged with trace amounts of leftover dismay, so it’s a relief to lock yourself in for the evening, even if the alternative (i.e. being alone with your thoughts and your guilt and everything else) isn’t much better.

An hour or two later, you get another text from Sans: “i’m sorry again, i didn’t know he was gonna do that.”

Interrupting myself here to say as an aside, so much for a synopsis of my vague concept; this is now going on 800 words. Look at all this work you definitely made me do that I didn’t put on myself at all. Anyway.

Sans text, continued: “he’s in town cuz of me, though, so i think i gotta listen to him. he’s uh saying we should get together and talk about how i”

“hang on”

Five minutes later: “scratch that i’m not listening to him.”

Ten full minutes later: “we can have lunch tomorrow. to talk. if you want. you don’t have to agree to it. i’ll understand.”

It’s about two in the morning when you finally respond: “Where and when?”

He replies immediately.

It’s a good sandwich. A shame you can’t do much more than just poke at it and nibble at the toppings that have fallen out of it onto the wax paper basket liner. And the bag of chips is completely out of the question. You’ve already put them away for later, for when you might eventually start regretting skipping lunch because of the awful somersaults your innards keep doing. Sans’s sandwich isn’t faring much better- he’s twirling his frilly-ended toothpick between his fingers, occasionally poking it into his dill pickle wedge.

Neither of you has said a word past your perfunctory greeting and the order you’d both placed at the counter eight minutes ago. The rest of the sandwich shop doesn’t seem to care, though. Most of its other patrons are absorbed in getting their order and getting out, or making the most of their too-brief lunch hour. It’s noisy, and it would be the perfect setting for the conversation you’re supposed to be having, you credit Sans with that much. If you could just speak.

You’re staring off over his shoulder, at the display rack of different brands of hot sauce, when he startles you by biting off over half of his pickle, chewing, and swallowing with his eyes closed and a sigh.

“thanks for… you know, not telling her yet.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” you say with enough sourness to give that pickle a run for its money.

“no, yeah, i know- i just. yeah. i’ll tell her, though. soon. uh, -ish.”

“Will you tell me when you do it? I don’t think I can take another unexpected visitor, and  I-” you laugh, ”-I’m going nuts checking my phone, panicking at every single notification.”

“‘course. yeah.”

“Okay. Thanks. For that.”

“sure.”

You tear off a piece of sliced turkey that’s hanging out the edge of your sandwich.

“…can i say somethin’?”

“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?”

“i didn’t- uh, know you had- i just thought you were riding the same wave of… whatever that was, as me.”

He clears his throat.

“i didn’t know you felt that w- i mean, that you had actual feelings for- at least, not until you started sayin’ all those things–”

“–I changed my mind, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

He ducks his head.

“yeah, okay.”

You take another bite of your sandwich, chewing as you scramble for something, anything, else to say.

“So. Uh, how’s, um, y'know, everything else?”

He blinks, shakes his head, and laughs.

“what, you really wanna know? or are you askin’ just to ask?”

Shit. No, you don’t really want to know.

“Yeah. I wanna know.”

He leans back, the plastic of the chair back creaking, and looks out the window behind you.

“shit… it’s all… it’s all fallin’ apart on me.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, already a well-honed reflex.

“not your fault, really. in the end. i’m just already tired. a week ago, this’s all i wanted, for everything to go back to normal. but it turns out normal was just a lot of her pretending she could stand me. and we’re not pretending, anymore. so… but that’s supposed to help us sort everything out, right?”

Goddamn your bleeding heart that got you into this in the first place.

“feels capricious of me, right? but if it’s gonna end, why can’t it just end already? but i’m not allowed to give up yet, because that’s not what we’re doing, we’re working through our issues.”

He pushes his basket over to the seat next to him, and folds his arms on the table, head nestled into them.

“even though giving up is all i wanna do anymore,” he says, voice muffled by his sleeves.

“Every relationship requires work, Sans,” you say. Platitudinal, but true, if not particularly helpful.

“but at what point do you cut your losses? is it before or after the seventieth thing this week she tells you you’ve been doing wrong all along that she never bothered to mention to you before? you know she prefers the loose end of the tp to come out underhanded? i didn’t. she’s wrong, but hey, fuck- anything for my baby. i’m tired. i didn’t know it was gonna be like this.”

Underhanded toilet paper rolls? Do you even know who she is?

“i should just go ahead and tell her about this whole thing, already, see if that- i dunno, breaks us beyond repair. but if i do that now when all our wounds are still fresh, i don’t get to say i tried to fix things, and i guess on some level, i need that.”

He rubs his face.

“fuck, listen to me whine. i’m making it sound worse than it is. ”

“Dude, I don’t know. I’m still horrified by the toilet paper thing.”

He snorts.

“i don’t even use the stuff much, so it wasn’t worth makin’ a whole thing out of it.”

“Okay, but I’m fixated on it. It’s like, all I can think about. What the fuck?”

You’re overcome with the strangest feeling- it shouldn’t be so odd to you now, three weeks into your guilt spiraling, but you want to text her about this so badly, to give her grief about it. And if this were a normal situation, if you hadn’t made everything awful, you wouldn’t hesitate. But you’re having a clandestine lunch with her boyfriend to discuss the awful thing you did, and therefore you can’t give her shit about her weird habit you now know about thanks to him, which is what friends do. Friends don’t let friends put the roll on the wrong way without at least dragging them for it for the rest of their natural lives, so can you still even call yourself her friend?

Probably not, huh? That, and the other thing you did. Friends don’t do that, either.

Your smile fades as you start to understand on a much more personal level what he meant. You doubt you’ll be granted the same mercy as him, of working out your issues, and until then you have to live like this, unable to even joke around without it turning bitter. You’re going to lose her, too- you’re going to lose them both, maybe, probably, and the waiting and pretending is only adding to your misery. It’s a hollow kind of wanting, for something to be over and done with, but it’s rooted in you all the same.

You finally decide you’re not going to finish your sandwich, but you wrap it back up in the wax paper liner anyway, and start putting your coat back on.

“Well. Thanks for meeting with me. I think I’d better head back to work, now.”

“you realize we didn’t talk about what happened at all, right?”

You shrug. “Maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe we don’t need to.”

“you don’t- you don’t have anything you wanna say to me.”

You close your eyes and sigh.

“I’m… sorry?”

“shit, yeah, me too.”

“It was a mistake.”

“unequivocally, yeah.”

“I think that about covers it, don’t you?”

He nods silently.

“Then… I’ll see you around.”

You almost make it to the door, leaving him slumped in his seat with his uneaten sandwich. You look outside at the cold, slushy parking lot, check the time, and nearly get in your car and drive back to work. But instead, your feet carry you back to the table, back to Sans.

“I do actually just have one question.”

He looks up at you, and you can see deep into his eye sockets, and the dark semicircles beneath them, how tired he is.

“sure. anything,” he answers.

“If you had known how I felt, would it all have gone- would we be here now, having this conversation? Or would I have gone home before and none of this would have ever happened?”

Your fool brain wants you to continue: Or would you have stayed?

But you already know the answer to that one, so you stop yourself; these questions are dangerous enough, as is.

He actually looks somewhat taken aback.

“i don’t- i dunno. and i dunno how much good speculating about it’s gonna do. what’s done is done.”

“Please. It’s the one answer I feel like I have any right to.”

He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and leans back.

“yeah. i think i’d have done the same thing.”

Your chair creaks as you fall back into it, defeated.

“Why?”

“what do you mean, why? did it seem like i gave a shit who else i was hurting at the time?”

He slumps a little further down, and in a softer, more soothing tone, says, “what are you after? do i care now that i hurt your feelings? …yeah. not that it really counts for anything.”

“It counts,” you croak.

“hmm.”

He stands, finally.

“guess you’re right, though. i’d better be getting back to work.”

He shrugs on his wool coat and winds his scarf around his neck.

“you uh… you gonna be ok?”

Are you? Feels like… maybe not?

The sobbing starts, even as you will it not to- christ, no, anything but that.

“oh. uh. shit.”

People are staring, now. You hide your face behind your hands, try to even out your voice to reassure him and your new audience that no, really, you’re fine, but it just comes out all the more overwrought for your efforts. Sans is useless, grimacing, hands outstretched towards you, placating, like with a panicking animal, and it reminds you of the conversation you’d had that night, when you’d offered yourself up as a shoulder to cry on.

“you wanna get out of here?” he asks, and you nod, rolling your eyes at your own uninvited histrionics and swiping at your cheeks.

“k,” he says, and when you open your eyes again, you’re sitting on your couch, in your apartment.

“got tissues?”

You swallow.

“Uh, bedroom, but- please don’t go in there, it’s- it’s bad.”

“k.”

He returns a few seconds later with a handful of toilet paper, and you take it from him.

“hey. it’s gonna be okay. y’know why?”

You blow your nose.

“Why?”

“no matter what else happens, you’ll always know: you put the toilet paper on the holder the right way.”

You chuckle weakly into your wad of tissue.

“You’re right. I’ll always have that.”

He sinks down on the couch next to you. Not too close.

You sigh and slump forward, elbows on your knees, calmer now.

“Well, that wasn’t supposed to happen. The- you know, the turning on the waterworks in a sandwich joint. That was embarrassing. I’m embarrassed.”

“happens. plus, i think you’ve earned the right to cry.”

Your chin wobbles again, threatening.

“Oh? I have? Cool. ‘Cuz I don’t know what I have the right to feel, or do, right now. It all feels wrong.”

“yeah. i know,” he mumbles.

“Sometimes I start feeling sad, for me, because of what I’m about to lose because of this? But then- no, can’t do that, because- hey, maybe I should have thought of that before we-” you catch your breath.

“yeah.”

“I’m mad at myself, and I’m pretty okay with that. But then sometimes I think maybe I’m mad at you for like, seven different reasons, and half of those reasons conflict with each other, but I can’t even… stay mad at you like I think I want to.”

You aren’t looking at him, but you can feel his stare.

“like how?”

You poke and prod at your face, trying to relieve some of the tension headache that’s building around your eye sockets and temples.

“Like, as your friend, I’m annoyed that you put up with ALL of her bullshit. You’re such a doormat when it comes to her. But as her friend, I’m so fucking appalled that you’d sleep with me, her best friend, less than a month after the breakup of a like- how many years? Six?”

“…seven.”

“Seven year relationship. Fuck, sorry, not to belabor the point or anything, but- yeah.” You sniffle. “And then- here’s the kicker. Just as me, alone, not relative to anyone else- I keep wishing you’d just fucking stayed in bed after I poured my heart out to you. Like I have any right to feel that. And of all of it, all the shit, that’s the one that sticks the worst, so the rest don’t get a chance to mean anything.”

The second you turn your head to make eye contact with him, he’s there, leaning in, warm. Big old eye sockets looking at you just like you’d wanted for so long.

“i should’ve. i know.”

Your breath leaves you, almost-but-not-quite on a sob, as he kisses you, and everything is right and better, if only for a split second.

“Wait.”

“yeah- yes. ok.”

“What about-” you can’t bring yourself to speak to him more than a few inches removed from the kiss, as if tethered there by a spell, “-what about everything you just said, what- this isn’t fixing things.”

“no.”

“And I can’t- you can’t do this to me again.”

“i won’t. it won’t be like last time.”

“You can’t promise that,” you say as matter-of-factly as you can manage, given the circumstances.

“keep thinkin’ about how i can’t remember the last time i felt the way i did when you were sayin’ all that stuff about me.”

Your cheeks flush even harder, as if the rest of you hadn’t yet gotten the memo.

“That’s called an orgasm.”

The ridge above his nasal cavity scrunches up pleasantly when he laughs.

“We shouldn’t.  If it was wrong before, it’s so much worse now.”

“i know.”

You cast your eyes aside to your front door, then down to where your hands are almost touching as you lean towards each other on the couch.

“You’re so full of shit, you know that?” you ask. “Fuck you for making me fall for it twice.”

Your eyelids flutter shut as you pull him in by the back of his neck.

THEN YOU FUCK AGAIN!!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!

hehe

He keeps his promise, more or less. It’s not her he has to run off to, at the end. You both have half a day of work ahead of you. You’re both late, and it’s as good an excuse as any for you to pretend he won’t still be going home to her, later.

You still have questions. You can’t focus at work.

He never promised much of anything, you now realize. It felt like he was offering much more, but- so what? Is he actually done with her? After everything? What does this look like tomorrow? A week from now?

What, you seriously think he’s going to leave her for you? Only if she kicks him out, you think, bitterly. Which makes you what, exactly? A consolation prize for his neglected ego?

You call him right as you’re getting off work, but hang up before he can answer. You want the truth??? You can’t handle the truth!!!

Things get better as they get worse. He starts coming over to see you, at least once a day. He stays an hour or two when he can. He talks with you in bed.

Yours, now, you think, sometimes.

You don’t ask him when he’s going to tell her. He’s choosing you, so he has to, right?

He will. Soon.

*Now I’m looking back at the beginning of all this and I’m like-

Some thoughts??? Bitch! You just wrote most of the damn thing! And after you said you weren’t gonna!

…So CLEARLY I had like, a little more I evidently wanted to say about this fucking thing. So there you go???

GOD that was a lot of dashes in there though, huh? I didn’t even try to keep the number down.

Oops hehhe

But, uh, yeah! I don’t know how this ends! Or even, at the risk of sounding a bit pretentious, if it ends! Maybe everyone learns from their mistakes and suffers the consequences! Or maybe nobody does! Or maybe it’s a weird combination of learning and not learning and suffering and not suffering because it’s supposed to be like, way more complicated than that.

**Or maybe reader and Sans’s gf wind up auditioning for the same local network tv wrestling show and they have lots of sexual wrestling tension together and also reader has like a will-they-won’t-they thing with an 80s disaster caricature of Marc Maron and they both bond with a group of wonderful interesting women and get to create something bigger than themselves!

God, I love GLOW. Maybe just go watch GLOW instead of this, it’s like, basically the same thing only with more eighties vibes and less skeletons and more women’s wrestling and less magical penises.

So really, not the same thing at all except for the one plot point of sleepin’ with your best friend’s dude that they kind of share, but very very good, you know?

Anyway! I love getting asks (I apparently love them so much that I can’t help myself and end up writing almost an entire chapter just to answer them), and fleshing out all the vagueness a little more without the self-imposed pressure of having to finish it into something publishable was really fun. So thanks for this ask!

[walkinsauce]

Becoming Poly- Chapter 14: My Turn

Sorry I didn’t blog last week. Do you know how hard it is to write about polyamory under the same roof as your parents? I was scared one of them was going to pop in and ask,

“Christina, why do you need that bottle of wine in your room?”

“Paper weight.”

So, ya, I’m sure hundreds of self help books would call that an “excuse” for not writing, but trust me: it felt TOO CREEPY. You try to write about sex while your parents are in the next room watching My Three Sons. See how you feel.  I would, however, like to thank all my Tumblr readers for hitting the heart button on all my blogs. Quick shout outs to:

ilove-seductive-mature attractive-milf-girls hot-elder-chamber fat-milf-foxy-imgs bimbo-slutty-girlz fuck-sexy-fat-pussies fucking-amazing-fat-cunts jugs-nice-pictures

It’s good to know I’ve found my audience. Though I do wish you guys would put some capital letters in your names. You’re better than that.

I’ve calmed down from my boyfriend’s first “other sex” in our relationship. I’m pretty lucky that I have so many people reaching out to me, who are better versed in open relationships than I am. A particular comic friend in Florida always sums it up so well:

“Your primary is your home. These other people are the Disneylands and carnivals of the world. Fun day excursions, but you don’t want it every day.”

I think that’s my problem: Part of me would prefer to be the Disneyland. And good news for you, I’m way cheaper.

I still have a crush on the one guy I texted at O’Brien’s the day of my breakdown. I know he’s wary of the poly thing, and knowing my boyfriend, but I can’t help it. I’ve known him for years. I’ve had a crush on him for a year. I can’t help it if I’m a coward, and don’t know how to approach him. (Especially considering the circumstances.) Me sending him Snapchats that he’ll never open is enough of a rush for me.

It’s Friday night. I’m sitting at Ollo, as I often do during happy hour, wondering what I’m going to do when all the regulars go home at 8pm. It’s not a party city. We could use a Malibu’s Most Wanted reboot out here. But with the tiny bit of confidence I get from deep fried zucchini sticks and house wine, I decide to text my crush:

“Do you ever open Snapchat anymore, or am I sending things to an archive…?”

(With a smirky face emoji, obvi.)

He writes back minutes later.

“Hahahaha! I just watched the snaps! They made me laugh!”

It was at least a month’s worth of events, even capturing his own roommates. It must have been quite the montage.

“Thanks for sending them! I’m sorry I’m the worst. They were really funny. How long have you been sending them?”

Oh months. They’re my favorite seed I’ve ever planted.

“You might have just gotten something from me.”

I open Snapchat and see his name light up in full arrowed purple. I’m ridiculously excited for a girl my age. I’m starting to tune out the old man beside me bragging about how he gave Rosie O’Donnell her big break. That’s how you can tell I keep it real in this town- I’d much rather chase romance than my own career. (GOOD MOVE, EH?)

He writes again:

“I just finished a show in Hermosa Beach and I got to watch a lady heckle another comedian by saying, “we’re never going to be friends.”

Wow. The edginess of Hermosa Beach hecklers. What’s next? No tip? Shocking. I’m walking home, past people sleeping in their cars. At least my career is going better than theirs. But it’s a good reminder there’s no parking restrictions on PCH. Man, if any road needs some street cleaning…

It takes us another 18 texts to finally figure out we should meet up, but when he writes,

“I’d be down to meet up somewhere!”

I’m immediately wet. (It happens fast at my age.) He suggests the exact two bars in Santa Monica I was going to suggest. Power of the Leo and Sagittarius. (I probs just lost nine readers by referencing astrology.)

I get to Rick’s on Main Street slightly before him. I don’t have my real glasses on me, cuz I’ve been wearing my prescription sunglasses all day. Didn’t expect to be out past sunset, cuz that’s Malibu “night life.” So I’m going to be mildly blind all night. People always tell me,

“You should get laser eye surgery.”

Why the fuck would I do that? My glasses cover at least a dozen lines on my face. I’m thinking about getting a new pair, with thicker rims. I’m growing out bangs next. The date will be fine as long as I don’t send him into the kitchen when he asks where the bathroom is.

Now here’s the grey area…

Do I tell my bf right now that I’m going to meet this crush? I don’t know anything is going to happen. There’s a good chance we will just be two (ASTROLOGICAL PERFECT MATCHES) drinking buddies in a bar. Two comics, talking shop. Do we really need to set off the alarm before there’s a fire? As per my communication skills, I think def not. Like this blog, I will leave it till the last minute. (Typed at 3:13am, 4:45am after proofreading.)

I’m pretty sure I look like shit, but the good thing about somebody knowing me through comedy, is they always see me looking like shit. I’ve never been super comfortable looking “good” on stage. Maybe this comes from starting stand up 19 years ago, and always fearing women wouldn’t like me if I looked pretty. Most of the women in a comedy club are on dates, and I would literally get glares as they gripped their men. So early in my career, I started to wear hoodies on stage, and cover as much skin as possible. It was my passive aggressive way of saying,

“Don’t look at me. Listen to me.”

(Also, “I’m not here to steal your boyfriend. I’m here to make forty bucks.”)

This is another reason I love the rise of feminism: I pray it means the death of catty-ism. (An energy I sadly grew up with.)

So ya, back to the poly stuff: I’m on an impromptu date with my crush, my bf doesn’t really know, I look like shit, but can’t see that cuz I left my glasses at home. He walks in the bar and I’m almost in shock that we’re together. I think it’s been months since we’ve been in the same room together. And since when did I start going after things I want…?

I’m shockingly comfortable around him. That’s a plus about bonding with someone while you’re in a relationship. You don’t try as hard to sell yourself as when you’re single. You’re just you, and if they don’t like it, who cares? (I admire people who are like this all the time.)

He suggests we go to Chez Jay next. Ooooooooh, I love a new bar. Never been. So excited. Even more excited that he’s ditched his car, and will get it in the morning. I love a man who drinks responsibly. (Is this how I book a MADD commercial, or do I still need to have babies?)

Chez Jay is great. I like having bars like this on my radar. The conversation is going steady, tho I’m praying my primary and polyamory doesn’t come up. I just want to enjoy this night, as it is. The same way I did as a single person. I really don’t want to dive into the politics of it all. I think I’m more terrified that talking about it will scare him away…

When Chez Jay closes, he asks me if I wanna come over for some porch beers.

Yup. You know I do.

Again… is this the moment I text my bf and let him know I’m going over to a guy’s house? I mean technically, there’s a good chance nothing will happen. Seems too soon to ring the alarm. And if there’s one expression comedians know, it’s “too soon.”

He gets us an Uber/Lyft, whichever- most cars in town have both stickers. When we get to his house, I hit the bathroom. Every girl’s most investigative move in a dude’s house. Is his hand towel also his bath towel? Is this a one towel wonder situation? Does he own toilet paper? I don’t make it that far, because I’ve sprayed surprise period all over my undies. (If those Tumblr names didn’t scare you away, this surely will, eh?)

I search the cupboards for anything remotely handy in this moment. There’s nothing. Maybe I should hit the kitchen, and look for coffee filters. Those should work, right?

Nah, I’ll just do the ol’ “tie toilet paper around my underwear” move. It’s the move you do when you first get your period, in case you don’t know. (I FEEL SO YOUNG AGAIN! MAYBE I DON’T NEED BANGS!)

Porch beers are the best. I’m a fan of his roommates. We’re all having a great time, but then… 

Something more unexpected than my bloody kitty happens. This beautiful, young blonde chick walks up to the porch.

“Hey, I live across the street. All my friends went to sleep, so I thought I’d come introduce myself.”

Holy. Mother. Trucker. It’s 3:00am. This isn’t the moment I was expecting competition…

But here we are.

The guys grab her a beer. Now again, I am not into “catty-ism.” BUT- I am a share holder of “insecurity-ism.” And if I were any one of these guys on this porch, I would def hit on this chick instead of me. She’s legit extremely cool. There’s a part of me that wonders if this is fate’s little way of saying,

You’re not ready to pop your poly cherry yet.

I never rang the alarm. I can still get out of this… innocently?

Either way, I think she might be might be my personal savior (another word I spell wrong cuz I’m Canadian and think there’s a “u” in it.)

“Do you have a tampon?”

“Of course! Come on over!”

She takes me over to her apartment, and literally gives me all her pads cuz she doesn’t use them. Bonus. My favourite sleep aid. I fucking love this girl.

We head back over to the boys, and I know I’m drunk, bleeding and tired. I ask my crush if there’s a place I can crash. He escorts me to his roommate’s room, and tucks me in. (Don’t worry- the roommate wasn’t there. That would have been the real poly, eh?)

As I fall asleep, like a loser at a slumber party who goes to bed first, I can’t help but think,

“He’s a great guy. She’s a great girl. If they hook up, I’m fine with it.”

PRACTICE COMPERSION! Why is compersion so much easier when you’re not dating someone? I fall asleep/pass out- which ever you like to believe at this hour. In the morning, I wake up in a super funny comedian’s bed. Alone. I make the bed, as a sure fire way to say “a chick was here” and text my crush.

“Oh I wanna say bye, but I don’t know what room is yours.”

I can’t just knock on random doors… Plus he might not be alone. I def don’t want to interrupt kinky times with the pad donor. All of a sudden, one of the roommates pops out of his room. I ask him which room is _______’s and he shows me. In this moment, I know I’m risking becoming a piece of gossip my boyfriend might hear… 

And not through me…

I lightly knock on the door. When I hear a groggy “come in” I open the door.

There’s NO hot, cool, tampon savior chick in his bed. He’s just sleeping, post drinking style, alone.

“Oh, I just wanted to say goodbye…”

And then, without saying another word, I crawl into bed with him. 

[top1course]

The 5 Big Lies Of Multilevel Marketing

Lies lies lies about multi-level marketing, what is multi-level marketing, have you been lied to you, maybe your upline is lying to you, today I’m going to teach you how to, single Ladies modern, how to sing, on your own how you look at some of these things, the one from the lies when it comes to multi-level Monk, what you doing tonight I actually did fairly well, at some network marketing businesses some affiliate marketing businesses in the multi-level marketing business, and, however the reality is I’m now 40 years old, and after 20 years of experiencing up and down, i must say though that there are five lights, come up with five lights, that you know, encompass, the multitude of companies that I’ve worked at, can you succeed at network marketing, yes absolutely, statistics actually prove that you can, what is a very small number, cancel that is one of the first, Lies I want to cover a cheat, okay so watch this video all the way to the end, if I tell you about this mess in my own story, so when I start at the age of 18 years old, the gentleman that approached me, you know you came to me said hey are you keeping options open you look like, sharp young guy, and he really, paint this picture in my head, that I could become an entrepreneur for very small investment, $200 and I could, where the Cape of being an entrepreneur, i think that’s the first lie there, is that entrepreneurship after all these years I realize it’s very different, then the picture that all these companies is network marketing companies they paint it make you feel like you can become an entrepreneur, get nothing for some get something for nothing, rights and I think you can become, It’s hot burner with the high-income skill without being a business on your own with a lot of money that’s okay because you are, trading, your time, trading hours for dollars, lafayette High dollars right that’s what I teach, that’s perfectly fine, but building a scalable business building that big a business, it cost f****** money, it just does people cost money, marketing cost money, everything that you do it cost to remodel resource, so I think having that unrealistic expectation when you’re not ready to start a business, and you thought you know what I have no money I’m broke, the world’s hottest out of business, is we got no money, listen to me the worst time, to start a business when you’re desperate, because it takes time, it takes time to build it might take you one year, 2 years 5 years 10 years, this is not a job, it’s not just the way to the end of month to get a paycheck, Business.

Requires, tremendous amount of effort, attention and skills right, if you want to make some money on the side don’t start a business, diva behind come skill took an offer to the marketplace in exchange of money now that is smart, that’s right because I feel that two major business that I feel that many businesses I feel it to Major one, half a million in one, half a million in the other $1000000, call can you know what and why we failed because we didn’t have cash but we didn’t have that income coming in, we took, other people’s money, and we blew it we knew how to blow money before we learn how to make money correct and the whole thing about the liars, from what I understand in Denton, express create, create job, network marketing companies are not creating job except for the, The people at the head office, you know you’re a distributor, your consumer you’re not an entrepreneur, they call you a small business but you’re not, right so it that I feel that the light, number one light, the most line up with you, lie number to the whole part time thing do this on the side it’s a you know, and yeah just put in a few hours they make it sound so easy, it is not, in order to get to the top level that I just scratched the lower levels in the upper level, days a week every day away from my family, leave the house at 6 p.m. go to work work a whole day come home exhausted jump into a suit and Heat, don’t like wearing suits you in trouble, ben Affleck go out drive somewhere, spend money on hold at that meeting go to the hotel meeting track family in French, Speleothem eating tattoo walk in the morning, unbelievable I remember, one of things I learned, that is to once I run out of people that I talked, two in the beginning, why you got a pasta I got to meet with people so I actually went to bookstore, yes, okay I know you thought this invoice f****** stupid, i want a bookstore hangout in the, personal development 5th C-section, and I would kind of like, slowly get Coastal, how to strike up a conversation right, oh by the way are you looking for an opportunity mixed-income, what the what the f*** right, and he was just bad, and the Woodworth is wow you are doing this why don’t you feel the same way, it just feels so draining, softer, i feel like I was her I talked about, Whatever the network marketing opportunity, disrespected, this is not a good way to make a living like a Cheesy salesman, i think it was worse than that like approve of that is, do simple you go out there, any any function, any Gathering to be wedding could be, business networking anyone, anybody, you tell them, what do you do, i’m a multi-level marketing, see how people react, true funny story we will add a conference big conference big conference and they give you these tag, and you can put these stickers below Alexander ribbons copywriter, the owner, and then over here because he doesn’t want to study and pay attention., what did you put on your xiphoid MLM MLM no one no one talked to me it’s beautiful, it’s absolutely beautiful, rite Aid, disease, i get close to you, do you actually like that, seriously, it is that how you want to be, Treated.

Like, no prior, right to status app, is versus a part-time forget that, it doesn’t work, if you’re just want to make a few dollars like a couple hundred bucks yeah you can do it part-time if you want to make thousands, get it, do you want to make serious money do you need to put in Liberty, you got a treated like, a, a career, why you got to take a dairy steer, so what is a third life, well the third one I would say is what I realized that date they always make you don’t never colder products are always more expense, then, cuz we don’t have the cost of, you know where Wholesale store, distributor and all that stuff, it sounds like, what you got f****** 8 level seven levels you got to pay, the commission hello, where does it say, Is the same s***, someone is getting paid right, nBC, the Whiting mock-up mock it up, profit margin, in order to pay all the distributor, on all these levels are all the bonuses, stop right, that’s right you know what date they make it sound as if the premium prices are for better quality product, scientifically proven you clinically proven, right I subscribe to you a couple of companies, i do like to party., but most of the time I won’t leave the company, home water filters you know I won’t leave but they are number company, who has a huge, mana products, i’m talking about like, a lot of the products that they claim to be, much better high quality, bullshit it’s all private label, they don’t even make that, someone else made it they put a didlo logo, distribute, and you stayed make that seven layers Commission, That’s how it works, you think logically you know that’s exactly, so if this, spending so much money paying everybody else, how much money could they, spend on improving the quality of the product, like a idiot, wright Distributors when when you become a distributor and you get brainwashed into going out there now, can I convince other people, and you have to handle the objection a wise and more one thing I cannot stand is a specialty that’s like, how’s the weather the product because, those modifuckers, i just got to say it, where those up line, dayton hotel room, big Mickey’s most outrageous, claims, no joke, most outrageous stories, about some vitamin, i’m talking about a cure cancer in my wife was quick couldn’t get pregnant now and she’s, i like you me a f****** brick, yeah right because of greed, and they make all these crazy promises that Justice is wrong, It just wrong, if you sell vitamin, that’s fine you know how old and he have more energy that’s okay, but wild and making like, these crazy claims, bossip, another video in which we talked about how f, eCU can shut it down, right it’s a risk to you maybe wasn’t even you that said it, another leader, then what happened, epitome, the fourth lie we want to go into, 2 is that anyone can, can do it, do you want to make it sound like, anyone can do, and then you know I’ve got a fairly sad in a fairly, extroverted, talkative socializing personality, okay so, maybe for someone like me, it’s natural that I like to network that’s what I call a network Market, what about someone was introvert I mean then when you were growing up your fairly introverted yes I, you have a big network of friends did you know, So.

When it comes to anyone can do it there’s something anyone can do, my phone network marketing, able to climb to Dad, top leadership position, what’s the test, i think it was an article on this, yes actually midget, knock three out of 100 C 100 1000, make it making it, doesn’t mean you’re rich it just means like, you’re not good, if I remember correctly, on average, never marketers, they make I think was like whatever 25 in the Box, it’s not about the anyone can make, it takes a lot of skills it takes a lot of, heimdall, when is there anyone can make it yet, 20 years, if you are a super introverted a shy person you don’t speak good English, are you communicating, it take time, so it is a lie to try to Detroit mask that live, because most of us we want to do this why cuz you want to earn that money quick, And you want to get out of your job or whatever you’re doing, quick you want spend time with your family quick you don’t spend time with your kids when they’re 20-30 years old you want to do it like, next year, and that’s the lie to make you feel that anyone can do it but reality is it takes, i am, the learning skills to get to the high level, and it wasn’t what is something that anyone can, do right how do you know, if that, that’s why I said, if you want a queen well, if you actually want to quit abundance, senior Life, you can never be, out of the equation, you always need to be part of the equation, so anything that is, dakota Shady, anything that’s promising you, hey it has nothing to do with you, Just push a button or or money with on your lab or just, just rebuild his father everything would be fine if, they take you out of the equation this is, yes., ., super duper investment, just put the money in at nothing to do with you you don’t need any effort you’ll make money, you being scared, if you know to quit well, you always always have you be part of the equation, what could you do to deliver real value to the mark, a place in exchange of money, dude that’s legit, that makes you a real entrepreneur entrepreneur, notice, f****** lotion potion potion right, so the best we save the best for last, the number, 5 Li, v Li, is about, amount of money, you make it sound like everyone, can make money as not, trip distance of proven, inc.com is proving it, You know there’s lots of studies outlier, how dare, dan Wolf, i shared with you I think it was 2500 box, do they make per year, but on average they spend over, $25, end time, and I can attest, so it includes like when a conferences, the sign up kit five markings, dressing up if you don’t have a suit go out there buying a suit if you don’t have one, the driving places the product the marketing the telephone bill, not to mention your time, away from your family, write the gas bill, the average, network marketing direct sales person, multi-level marketer, only Earth an average of, $2,500 a year, where is, it’s been 20, 5000, so he’s got think about Siri, spend 25k to make, holiday House., you are better off, just stay home and do nothing, i thought you would have made nothing that you would spend nothing, at least that’s you like, Breaking even.

Go to the real part-time jobs right now, you don’t show it bug me then that people go through these lights and that’s why also the attrition rate, so high and that’s why you, keep recruiting people, any baby should a whole bunch of people motivated not eager, right at home, sirius, they have logs, applications, it just trust, and in part of, why I want to make this but, tequila video, it just, i have a lot of haters, and that’s okay, f*** you., is your friends, what bothers me sometimes, accuse me, right, dan Lok, oh you know what they’re doing it’s a pyramid scheme, what I am the f****** biggest antimlm guy on, the f****** planet, there’s a reason, i want to look at, so many other, speakers, motivational speech, picnic, they speak, add mom pump, you’ve never, why do they speak in MLK, Because Mo companies, pay them a lot of money, you inspire and motivate, the people, right, where, i can tell you right now, you would never ever ever, steve Dan Lok on a f****** network marketing stage, ., syria, i don’t care if they pay me a hundred thousand I don’t give a f*** if they write me a check for $1000000, you will never see deadlock on a network marketing stage, ., because I am entire network marketing I don’t believe them although I don’t believe in what they do and I don’t, believe you actually give a s*** about people want to grow up, i’m so strong I can tell you, this I’m leaving so much money table, just with kisses white with wind blowing, then since the very first time, what I realized, different about you, was that you didn’t focus on, yeah sure, it’s a big argument with a whole network marketing even, I was very vanilla about it, but what you taught me was about, having that, cuz I want to build a business was, to have, the high-income skill, then still a business, then, right, is very big difference, so there you go., the five biggest lies, so if you still thinking about, you asking me a lot of questions, should be home with your Dad should I join Sinatra, don���t f****** join network marketing, what’s a peanut don’t f****** joint, what do you think of this MF don’t f****** John Eminem we are done.

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