#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

[elsweetheart]

maybe tomorrow you’ll know

🎀 summary: when your girlfriend ellie can’t make it to patrol, you take her slot and go with joel. your father figure comforts you when you get overstimulated.

🎀 an: trying out the diary entry kind of cover picture ?? idk if it looks cute or not but idk what else to put so there . another ldr song title lol … this fic is kinda odd ,, kind of a weird ending and idk if i like it. feels kind of ooc. oh well !! ppl requested it. this is a prequel to this fic and a late sequel to this one !!

🎀 warnings: implied acknowledgment of neurodivergence from joel ?? joel is a little nicer / more healed than he is canonically,, reader gets overstimulated and upset ,, mentions of daddy issues lol ,, mentions of grief ,, i think that’s it ??

It wasn’t unlikely that common colds and flu’s swept Jackson this time of year. It was the pollen from the trees, or maybe the sap, or something like that. Ellie had explained it you a while back but you were more focused on her freckles than the scientific explanation of illness, so the information was kind of buzzing around loosely at the back of your brain.

Ellie, who’s immune system seemed to be made of gold in other departments was hit by the cold. She had the runt of it, red nose, sore throat, awful mood. The one upside was you swanning around looking after her, but that one upside was accompanied by several downsides— as per mentioned, really shitty mood, and the God awful medicine that Maria had cranked out to those hit by the illness.

That left very few people to go on patrol, and you being the helpful angel that you were signed up without second thoughts. You, who had very little patrol experience — your talents thriving more in the gardening area or barn. The shell shock Ellie experienced from hearing you’d signed up didn’t last long thankfully, when you’d rushed to tell her that Joel told you that he’d accompany you. She relaxed a little, if she was going to feel that you were safe in anyone’s hands, it would be Joel’s.

She was honestly feeling much better, the headaches and most of the sniffles had gone away by the time the day of your patrol rolled around, but the antibiotic she was still unfortunately taking made her drowsy for the better part of the day — so for safety reasons, she wasn’t able to up and snatch your patrol slot like she’d so cunningly planned.

She’d watched you get ready, watched you pull on your jeans and a tight white t—shirt. She could tell you were trying to look ‘practical’, outfit removed of any frills and decoration like it usually would garner to seem more Ellie-esque, apparently manifesting her courage and skill to support you on the patrol. It was sweet, but she worried for you, and kept having to remind herself that Joel would be there, Joel would be there, Joel would be there. Nothing was going to get you. She didn’t let this show of course, flashing you a winning smile before you left, helping you tighten your backpack straps and kissing the nervous line between your eyebrows. “Go get ‘em, patrol girl.” She was as cool as ever.

You’d spotted Joel waiting by the gate, and your own nerves settled into a quiet hum in your chest at the sight of him. He looked unafraid, as usual — but when did he ever look afraid? His worn brown jacket was a familiar sight, and you smiled— giving him a sweet wave when he noticed you emerging.

“What, Ellie not here to send you off?” He smiled, in his gruff Joel way as soon as you were in hearing distance.

“She’s on strict doctors orders to rest and stay in bed.” You recite proudly, the two of you sharing a chuckle of disbelief at the fact that someone had managed to tell Ellie what to do. Who else would it be?

“Alright Kiddo, up you get.” He aided you onto his horse, wedging himself in the front saddle. You weren’t offended that he hadn’t trusted you with your own horse today, in fact you felt safer like this.

Joel liked spending one on one time with you, like the time you introduced him to skincare. He found you to be rather seraphic in nature — a glow of purity and light heartedness in an otherwise dark world. He was the most happy to see that you and Ellie were dating, as he found your ways to rub off on her. He’d notice the way she would actually think twice or hesitate before snapping at someone, always making sure to check for you first to gauge your emotions. Ellie was gentler than before, her jagged edges buffing themselves down as to not catch you on its spikes. In fact, Joel had notice everyone that had the grace of being around you had softened up slightly and not in a bad way, you were your own little patch of sunshine. The sugar in the tea that was Jackson.

Which is why he was happy to let you wear yourself out with words, burbling about some funny incident that occurred earlier on in the week with Jesse — Joel chuckling along due to the expressive nature in which you told the tale, glancing at the shadow in the snow of your arms waving about wildly in gesture as you did so despite the older man not facing you.

“I don’t know how you got this much energy so early in the mornin’.” He chuckled with an amused shake of his head. You sat with this for a moment, staring out at a gaggle of birds flapping about causing ruckus in the tree top. You wondered if the birds knew the world has ended, and exhaled through your nose at the thought — leaning forward to rest your cheek to Joel’s back. You suppose you were a little tired, not having much sleep from the night before.

“Changed your tune.” He hummed, a little more quietly. The sun had only just come up, and you felt the adrenaline of leaving past the gates beginning to seep out, your eyes feeling puffy and dry from perhaps lack of sleep.

“You reminded me I am a little sleepy.” You yawned and he chuckled, steering the horse round a bend making your fingers dig into his jacket just a little more. You stayed this way for a while, the two of you plodding along on the horse as Joel took mental note of routes and watched for foot prints and such. Your peaceful reverie was broken by the terrifying groan that could only belong to clickers. Your head snapped up, heart clenching in that dreaded way but Joel didn’t seem to react in the slightest. His back continued to slowly expand and deflate with his slow breaths as the two of you located the small gaggle with your eyes. He drew his weapon, a knife with a thick handle and slid off the horse.

You felt slightly vulnerable as he stepped away, weary of his feet crunching in the snow as he stalked towards the screeching clickers ambling around amongst themselves. Perhaps it really had been a long time since you’d been past the gates, as your gut tensed up as you watched Joel brutally take down the small group. You didn’t quite notice that you were clutching at your jacket, jaw tense and eyes wide until he started trudging back towards you slightly lost of breath. His eyes caught yours and gave you a curt nod to signify he was okay, watching you for a moment longer as you uncurled your hands letting your jacket free from its clammy grip.

“Been a while since you been out here, huh.” He slung himself back onto the horse with a quiet grunt of exertion.

“Yeah. I’m super out of practise, it’s bad.” You shook your head fearfully, eyes boring into the mangled figures staining the snow red as you passed them, flinching when one of their legs twitched ever so slightly.

“You’re alright. S’the people who aren’t infected you gotta watch out for.” He remarked. You stayed silent, pensive at this comment that slightly set you on edge and he added “Don’t get many o’them round here though. We’d know about it.” to soothe your anxiety.

Perhaps you’d been spoiled a little with your working hours at Jackson, because being on patrol was more demanding and time consuming than you’d have thought. Some parts were nice, like chatting with Joel when you got to sit on the horse— but the rest of it was a lot more physically challenging than you were used to. Being hoisted up onto walls, climbing over fences, Joel was giving you quite the workout in comparison to your usual quiet and peaceful days. Your backpack had grown heavier from being filled with useful items you had found to bring back home — and it was beginning to make your shoulders ache, weighing you down uncomfortably.

The sky was aglow with a breathtaking abendrot, the day been and gone having been travelling around with Joel all day. You’d mentally clocked out around 2 hours ago, feeling the exhaustion push you past your limits. You never wanted to be in a bad mood with Joel — so you hid it, but you were starting to feel a little shitty. A close run in with the infected made your ears ring from Joel’s gun shooting a little too close to your ear— the annoying humming sound making it hard for you to concentrate. All of the physical exertion made you hot and clammy beneath your layers, but it was too cold without them. You could feel your hair sticking to the nape of your neck, getting tangled in the back of your necklace bringing it taut against your skin leaving a thin chain print indent against it. You could feel a pebble rattling in your shoe that you couldn’t get out, your knee was grazed slightly from a stumble trying to get away from a clicker, and you could feel the blood from the injury sticking to the inside of your jeans. Worst of all, you could feel a slight tickle at the back of your throat — the start of what could be the cold Ellie had.

“You listenin’?” Joel glanced round at you, on top of everything — he had decided now was the time to launch into a long and detailed story. You loved when Joel told stories, it was usually a moment of comfort or bonding — but you couldn’t help but feel irritated at the fact you could barely hear him, ringing in your ears seeming to grow louder.

“Huh? I— ugh, i can’t—” You stressed, fingers prodding inside your ears trying to wiggle the blockage out. Your face was screwed up slightly, overwhelmed by the feelings and sensations you were experienced. The man craned round slightly, taking a look at you.

“Y’alright?” He gave you a once over and you simply huffed, deciding that you didn’t care about the Jackson chill anymore as you practically fought your jacket off your body, immediately going back to sticking your finger in your ear trying to unplug it to escape the incessant ringing. You groaned agitatedly, not noticing your jacket dropping off the back of the horse and into the snow as you continued your pressurised ministrations. It all had seemed to hit you at once, your face heating up as you felt your heart rate pattering against your chest. “Kiddo?”

“What? I— I don’t know I don’t feel good I’m— I hurt myself and i’m getting sick and — everything is too much and —” You exploded, cutting yourself off as you burst into tears. You were frantically, nearly wailing as you grappled with yourself like you were covered in tiny ants. Joel frowned, quickly steering his horse beneath an old bridge and parking up, jumping off — hoping you didn’t fidget your way into falling off. You slid off the horse by yourself, pacing for a moment as you cradled yourself before sliding down the wall.

“Hey, kiddo. Look at me.” His movements was slow, purposeful. He didn’t freak out, he never did. Just slowly coming to squat infront of you, knee’s clicking with the gesture. You pulled your face from your hands, face hot and sticky now which only seemed to worsen your reaction. “You’re panickin’.” He observed. You nodded, unsure of what to say as you scrubbed your face, trying to rid of the feeling of your sticky tears. “Be gentle. Gonna hurt yourself.” He spoke even quieter as you did so, weary of hands rough swiping.

You leant back on the brick, letting your eyes flutter shut as you sucked in breaths. Joel took the time to look around, checking that there were no unwelcome visitors approaching. “Y’alright.” He soothed as you continued breathing. After a moment, you whined quietly into your hands.

“Too many feelings and sounds.” You shook your head, embarrassment creeping up the back of your neck. Joel probably thinks I’m insane, spoke the loud moth’s buzzing around from ear to ear.

“I get it.” He drawled, shrugging and sliding up beside you to sit, drawing his knees up. “We’ll sit here ‘til they go away.”

You went to complain, knowing he probably just wanted to get back, you were only holding him up — “Joel—”

“We’ll sit here, ‘til they go away.” He repeated with determination, turning to look at you seriously. You glanced at him, nodding before you closed your eyes once more — focusing on your breathing.

What did you find relaxing? The gentle breeze that fanned over your face as you sat and caught your breath, caressing the overly warm places on your body and soothing you as evening crept in. The thought of Ellie back in Jackson, the domesticity of it, thinking about how she was probably laying on her bed resting wearing her warm grey hoodie, tongue poking between her lips in concentration as she doodled in her diary. A butterfly sketched with a chewed biro, your profile drawn in the margins. The sound of birds tweeting as they settled in their nests for the evening, rustling their feathers slightly and cooing to their babies. Joel beside you, same old worn brown jacket and the deep lines of age embedded into his skin. You could hear his slow breath, in and out. In and out. You matched his speed, and before you knew it you were calm.

“Sorry about that.” You croaked, voice hoarse from your freak out. You didn’t feel hot with irritation anymore, just a slight warmth to your cheeks from embarrassment. “Didn’t mean to have a tantrum on you.” You sniffled, still clearly upset by the occurrence.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about. I think going on patrol just ain’t for everybody.” His deep voice reverberated beside you. The two of you sat for a moment, and you felt him observe you for a few seconds before he pushed himself to stand. He wandered off, returning back a moment later with your jacket that you had chucked off the back of the horse in his hand. He draped around you and you stuffed your arms back in, feeling the chill consuming you a little more now. Standing above you, Joel held out his hand.

You took it and he pulled you up. The sky seemed a shade darker, and a pang of guilt smacked your chest — realising how much time you’d wasted. You started busily dusting yourself down, adjusting your backpack waiting for him to step aside. When he didn’t, you stepped around him.

“Gosh, it’s getting late already— we better get going I’ve wasted enough time.” You released all in one breath. Your voice was strained, odd, like you were still barely holding it together. You turned to Joel, who still stood there and watched you analytically.

“Hey.” He interrupted, as you turned back to him.

“What?”

He held out his arms, and you didn’t hesitate.

Joel had only hugged you a few times before. From his demeanour, it was clear he wasn’t much of a hugger. Once when your dad left, and once when you had a frightening run in with an intruder. He had been there to comfort you in your lowest moments.

He wrapped his arms around you as you pressed your ear to his chest, hearing the slow and steady thump through his shirt. You let out a quiet sob, shoulders relaxing. You hadn’t realised how badly you just needed fatherly love until this very moment, the hole in your heart slowly but surely being filled by Joel’s presence.

“M’grateful you’re here. You’re the closest thing I have to…” You stopped yourself, deciding it would be too… much to say. You decided it would probably stay unspoken forever — the grief on his behalf too large to mention. You had only hoped he felt your gratitude and love without saying it.

Part of him tensed, but relaxed in allowance after a minute. “I know, babygirl.” He spoke his appreciation. It was quiet, almost like he had hoped that you and maybe even himself wouldn’t hear it. Another moment passed, and he cupped the back of your head, pulling you closer. “Same goes to you.” Your heart was warm when you pulled away, Joel not quite being able to meet your eye — as if processing what he’d just quietly admit to. You didn’t bring it up, and the two of you never discussed it again — climbing up onto the horse and galloping back in the direction of Jackson’s gates with quiet conversation as the sky melted into navy.

You were half asleep by the time you’d gotten back, Joel walking you back to Ellie’s door. Your breakdown had pretty much exhausted you, and Joel decided not to press you on it — silent footsteps in the snow as you reached the porch. Ellie came to the door, welcoming you inside with a kiss on the cheek as you sleepily mumbled to her before toddling inside the house disappearing into the dark hallway.

“How’d it go?” Ellie gave a once over to Joel’s pensive expression.

“Good.” He looked passed Ellie for a moment, to see whether or not you lingered. “Keep an eye on her, yeah?” His brow furrowed slightly and Ellie mirrored the expression, saying nothing as she urged him to continue. “Reckon she… she’s a little … different to you and I. Feels things different. She got… upset. Said she was feelin’ too much. Got all… overstimulated. Think that’s the word anyway. You know me, m’not good with all that stuff but… maybe you can talk to her, Kid.” He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah.” Ellie frowned, the syllable coming out in a fog of cold Jackson air. “I’ll ask her… thanks.” She nodded.

“Yeah. ‘Night.” He smiled, turning and plodding away tiredly.

Ellie curled up behind you in the moonlit room, your body was still cold having simply shed your clothes and dropped into the bed. The freckled girl rubbed your arms as she pulled the blanket over the two of you, pressing kisses to the back of your head.

“Missed you today, brave girl.” She whispered and you hummed, hand tiredly closing around her own on your shoulder.

“Missed y’too.”

“Joel told me you got upset. We gotta talk about that tomorrow, you know that right?” Her voice was gentle as she craned around to watch your face in the dark room, dropping a kiss to your cheek. She watched your eyelashes move, a failed attempt to open your eyes and your hand closed around hers just a little tighter.

“Tomorrow. M’okay.” Your voice grew weaker as sleep faded in around you.

“Okay baby. Get some sleep.” She tucked herself in behind you, trying to erase the worry from her mind.

[r3d-f3rn]

my study habits

i haven’t been focused or motivated recently, but once my schedule picks up again i’ll probably be doing better.

Pomodoro 50/10 - ok i didn’t know there was a name for this until yesterday, but this is the timing method i find best. 50 minute study, 10 minute break. bonus is on that break, i make sure to get up and move a bit. occasionally, and if my walking buddy is out of class, i’ll take a full hour and force them to go on a walk with me.

Body doubling - i only recently discovered this one, and i don’t exactly hate it. for those who don’t know, some smart person somewhere was like “hey, people especially with neurodivergence (such as i) typically do better focusing if someone is also focusing on a similar thing” or something like that. i tried this both with another person (i love my walking buddy) and following along a youtube video without music (reason why is following). i think, personally, it’s best i do it with other people in-person because even if they don’t listen (they usually do bc i have awesome friends), i’ll recount the information, which often leads to some connection i wouldn’t have made otherwise.

Music - what a shocker. for me, my music depends on the day: i recently got over a break-up so i’ve been playing a lot of shit-talking music (waterfalls coming out your mouth by glass animals <3) but i constantly make new playlists to keep in fresh. also, i just recently bought a pair of noise-cancelling headphones because they were 40% off, but if you can’t afford them you honestly can just play white noise very quietly behind your music (or ambiance idk i know ppl use rain noises). it works better for headphones, but earbuds work too. but yeah that’s how noise-cancelling things cancel said noise, life hack ig.

Environment - on really bad days where i need more than just a coffee and literally spend 2+ hours trying to focus to no avail, i’ll go to a local café (SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESS !!), order a redbull spritzer and a cheap plate of food (to make up for the ~$8 well spent). then, i force myself to sit down for at least 2 hours. i think it’s me romanticizing being mysterious, but if it works then i’ll do it. if i need a break, ill give myself 5 minutes to discretely people-watch. once, i saw my middle-school math teacher while i was doing this and i just- i think seeing teachers in public is fascinating, but i think everyone’s a lil interesting so idk.

RITUAL - i think this one is most important, especially if your schedule is too chaotic to set out a decent study schedule. mine starts off with filling a bottle with cold, infused water (trying to reduce my sugar so i’m not always tired) and lighting a candle that i associate with studying. mine used to be this lemon scrub from bath&body, but i ran out so now i’m using some rose water one.

part of my lack-of-studying recently is that my study space fucking sucked ass (tiny desk, don’t ever get wall-mounted desks) but i have a new desk coming in on Tuesday so i just have to cope til then. plus, i just got a 60+ year old lamp from my honorary grandma and i’m just too excited that i get to rearrange my room. :D

[fwu-ffy]

Typing my random thoughts till I get bored:

I genuinely hate bait accs. I get that being one is fun and all, but some of them go way too far. Also, why do so many ppl hate Ed Sheeran? What did he do? Bcuz I genuinely can't find anything. I'm not even a fan of his but even I think some of these ppl are being way too rude. Sometimes when I get a hyperfocus, I talk about it so much that I start feeling awkward bringing it up bcuz I feel like ppl are getting annoyed w me talking about it sm, so even me even mentioning said topic will feel like a thousand tiny cameras are pointed at me. I should watch Wednesday. I keep seeing content everywhere and I feel like I'm missing out. I got Omori for Christmas and I really need to play it. I also got Doki Doki Literature Club and I've already gotten 1 ending. I think that Pinterest is on of the most xenogender supportive platforms I've been on. Everywhere I go on there I see people that either use or support them and it's really nice. Of course, not everyone uses or supports them, but it still is more supportive than other platforms I've used. I really hate the dsmp members. I like Ranboo and BadBoyHalo, but other than that everyone is garbage. I still listen to Wilburs music bcuz I like it, but he's done some pretty messed up stuff too. I adore the storyline and stuff, but unless I really need to watch their content, I just watch EvanMcGaming to keep up on the lore. I hate doing lineart. It's so time consuming and annoying. Plus I need to make sure it matches the sketch. I LOVE coloring and shading though. I'm craving pizza rn. Like, I actually will die if I don't get some. And a cheese burger. That sounds so good. Using 🤪 or 🥶 isn't cringey as long as you're doing it ironically imo. I joke about among us a lot and now I can't tell if it's ironically or not. Taking a Benadryl and passing out feels so good. I remember one time I took one and all I remember is talking about giraffes and bananas and then passing out. Apparently I was just spouting random nonsense. I want to get a TBH plushie at some point. I hate people that think that anxiety disorders aren't a neurodivergency. Living in constant fear and worry is not normal. There's anxiety caused by stress, and then there is an anxiety disorder. which is, in fact, neurodivergent. Anything that strays from the neurotypical is neurodivergent. That's the exact definition. I loathe bakudeku shippers with every inch of my body. They genuinely have -10000 braincells. Anyways, I'm tired of typing now :p Peace ✌️

[incessantwhine]

fkn raging cuz ik nobody is perfect all the time & everyone’s got their stories but

the only person i ever talk abt on here is like head over heels for this other person that i do not fkn trust or particularly like at ALL

and that’s fine like no one needs my seal of approval that’s not the point

it just seems like this other person like. does shit all the time that’s vaguely upsetting & refuses to acknowledge they’re also “in love” in any meaningful way. they’re like the king of doing sweet things & then immediately downplaying it or brushing it off as friends

and that would probably be fine too if she wasn’t goofy in love w/ them. it just. idk. ik im being too harsh and don’t understand their specific situation but fuck

it just seems like they’re breadcrumbing. maybe not on purpose but it’s hurtful regardless. and unintentionally taking advantage of the situation where she’ll put up w it cuz she’s so in love & the sex is bomb or w/e. like this person is not….idk

you can have all the love and support in the world but it’s still gonna hurt. and it seems like it does!! every relationship is Work for sure but it just seems like she’s doing a disproportionate amt of it while this other person can just be flighty and kinda dismissive

which. by the way is SO stupid. they don’t even know how lucky they are and if they do they don’t show it. cuz if I were them id be SO pumped and like. working a lot harder to overcome SOME of my own shit that was getting in the way of my ability to make my friend feel loved and special and appreciated. or at least TRY.

i like. Cant do anything besides gently express concern cause there’s such strong feelings it’s gonna go in one ear and out the other. and if i said any of this I think it would be received poorly and at minimum it would be “well im never gonna talk abt x again”. and at the end of my day it’s not my place. but BOY is it hard to watch

i want things to work out and I want her trust to not be misplaced but im worried this exercise in patience is not going to be super rewarding compared to the amt of pain it seems to cause. we were just talking about how she’s had like a long history of letting ppl not rly treat her right or well and how its a really common thing for neurodivergent ppl to put up with shitty behavior cuz they don’t even realize how shitty it is until after. and this is like…embodying that very well actually

and just from a personal petty standpoint like i rly don’t fkn get it. i don’t get what they have (other than an inability to be vulnerable without immediately trying to take it back) that’s like. sooooo fucking special. other than being rly good in bed. which, fine, fair point. they look like every other white skinny queer person ambiguously gendered person ive ever seen. sniffing around their social media they just seem….annoying. it doesn’t help that the only time I hear abt this person is in the context of “they made me feel weird/uncomfortable/upset” but it like. rly makes me hate them more and more. i beat it back with a stick and am understanding and mindful that idk the full picture but honestly? every time lately I’ve tried to approach something/someone with an open mind, I’ve been slapped in the face with oodles of proof of “your weird feeling was right!” sooo.

i dont have to know their tragic backstory to know they could do better. really. and she deserves better as well.

i have plenty of not fun things that make it hard for me to be like “I love you and I want to show up for you” but when you ACTUALLY truly madly deeply love someone you try. at the very least you don’t purposefully go out of ur way to be inconsistent.

and I’m fucking sick of biting my tongue about it. i will in the name of boundaries and letting ppl make their own mistakes but. it’s so stupid. i wish i could just say “I think this person is dicking you around and i dont like them and it scares me cuz it sets a bad precedent in terms of how much pain you’ll endure for love that im not sure is there in all the ways you want it to be” without it being a Thing. but that’s not what she needs rn. and so i won’t (:

see? see how easy it is to adjust based on what ppl you love need? i do it ALL THE TIME. EVEN WHEN IT GOES AGAINST MY EXTREMELY INSANE PROTECTIVE AND OPINIONATED AND “HATER FIRST” INSTINCTS AND TAKES LUDICROUS AMOUNTS OF SELF CONTROL.

god lmfao I hate them sm :)

[sobdasha]

so apparently no one was going to tell me

that some of the characters in She-Ra have more-or-less official ages, and y’all just assumed that I’d be any better at identifying the ages of cartoon characters than I am at identifying the ages of people IRL?

The logical (and shameful) progression went something like this:

Me, shoving She-Ra fanart in my drafts: “is it a dick move to say I don’t ship Entrapta and Hordak in my tags because she is clearly a child who has adopted this father, do I need to disclaim this to ppl viewing my posts so they understand VS do I really need to be rude to the OP??? Like they are clearly a good pair and whether they are shipped or not it’s still the same dynamic of mutual respect and support so....”

Me, later watching Youtube videos (Melina Pendulum, highly recommend): “wait Entrapdak is Problematic because Hordak is an imperialist? Uhhhhhh...okay just setting that aside, is Hordak not supposed to? be an adult? a grown-ass man?? when the princess are all teenagers???? You refer to Entrapta as a grown-ass woman but is a teenager the same thing as a grown-ass woman????”

Me, reading surprisingly good Youtube comments which included a desire to stop saying autistic characters are child-coded, because it’s infantilizing them: “........this..........is exactly what I have done because I am autistic (and ace and aro) and feel like a child so whoops? The point is very valid, I should def consider this (but my personal experience has not been “please treat me like an adult and like my age!” my personal experience has been “please give me support I can’t cope with the things adults my age are expected to cope with!!!” so that’s what I’ve projected, but both are valid and both can co-exist, we should argue both for not infantilizing ppl with disabilities and also for supporting ppl with disabilities, support ppl so they can be independent!) I also consider Scorpia as vaguely-autistic Quirky Kid [see the friend group that is Entrapta (autistic), Scorpia (autistic??), Emily (A Robot, therefore autistic), and Catra (traumatized, BPD?, a person with traits that autistic/neurodivergent ppl are likely to ping on and go “oh you are one of us!” lol)]. And I have, all this time, been compartmentalizing that Scorpia is not a teenager like Catra but presumably a grown-ass woman. The timeline for Hordak’s invasion was like 20 years right? And Scorpia was bitty at the time so she’s probably in her early 20s, and that puts Scorpia and Catra on the wrong sides of a certain societal line for relationships, but I’ve been pretending I don’t know that, I’ve been pretending it’s fine, because Scorpia = probably autistic right so Scorpia = basically young and innocent right and because I Want To Ship This, this ship is entirely divorced from sexual connotations anyway, see ace-aro, I just want them to be platonic sapphic bffs and for Catra to let Scorpia love her sob sob. THE POINT BEING, I’ve misbehaved and been part of the problem fffffffff”

Me, thinking on that more: “I guess Entrapta could be a little older, like Scorpia? I guess Netossa and Spinerella are probably older than the main cast too, I mean they’re married and clearly they’ve been married for a while so that would, y’know, imply they aren’t teenagers and, they were part of the mural of the original rebellion, so they were old enough to fight when Micah was still alive, so at least like 10 because Frosta, I don’t remember when Micah died, man they’re probably in their 20s or 30s.... I need to rewatch and try to figure out all the various timeline-y things so I can work this out...”

Me, finally giving in a googling after watching another video which said Noelle confirmed that Adora and bffs are like 17 at the start and wait they’re 21 at the end???? Do I just have no concept of time at all????? (It’s true, I don’t, that’s why I need this shit written down): “WTF Entrapta is like 30???? Well obviously if she’s 30 she can have any kind of relationship she wants with grown-ass adult Hordak!!!!!!!! Lab partners, bffs, spouses, whatever! Go for it! You get it! That guy is not your father!!!!! Because you’re not a teenager!!!!! HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS??????”

In other notes please direct me to She-Ra metas, I see everyone’s clearly on board with Entrapta being autistic and I saw some great explanations for Catra having BPD, what does everyone think about Scorpia? Like she’s not neurotypical right????? Am I getting autistic vibes off Scorpia because I’m picking up on the shared aspects with ADHD and Scorpia has ADHD maybe??? What’s everyone identifying with with her.

[shoezuki]

I saw the posts you made earlier (which I highly agreed with) and I wanted to throw in my two cents, though this might be a bit incoherent.

Idk if you ever watched Techno's Minecraft Monday video/streams or not but some of the DSMP fans are starting to give me the same vibes with hating Techno (mostly the character but also bleeding over to the creator) because he is actually good at the game and prepares for fights, especially when they don't watch any of his streams and bring up accusations that c!Techno has debunked/explained several times. Also some of the things people have brought up about demonizing Techno as a character are big parts of Techno the content creator's personality (and also just generally nd traits) so I go big :/// when I read them.

Anyways I just want my emotional support criminals without the drama thx :) So what if they blew up L'Manburg? Maybe L'Manburg was bad.

-macachee

!!!!!!!!!! YEYEYEE. techno has a History of ppl not getting Him as a person and hating on him like. i wasnt around during minecraft mondays (fortunately for me) but its brought up enough in the technocord n i seen a Lot of like. compilations n shit from minecraft mondays n like. the poor fucker??? i woulda been up in arms for him in seconds

i Definitely feel hatred and Some more pointed criticisms of the character a techno breaches over into the Person himself. like i see things bout him ‘needing’ to die which i can see would be Interesting of him losing a canon life. but the issue there is he as a Person is So good at the game like. he cant be killed by conventional means. back when quackity n him fought n techno fought all 3 of them together too i remember seein posts bout how ‘quackity didnt actually try’ or that it was Planned from the start that he’d Win and kill them All. which possibly it Was planned. but literally technoblade is just That Good at the game. 

and like u said like.......... w the neurodivergent traits. i talked a it before but esp around him not ‘caring’ for ppl or ‘manipulating’ ranboo with a one of joke he made being the only ‘proof’. OR when techno n ranboo were in the nether w steve n techno wasnt ‘taking ranboo seriously’. i saw that a lot

if how techno expresses himself ever becomes a factor in ppls arguments for him being ‘evil’ or manipulative or some shit. i tune out. 

cuz thats not ‘characterization’ or a trait of the character. thats Technoblade Himself. mans methods of expression, his tone, his entire vibes n how he Reacts to social situations is so Very Much neurodivergent of him. i never say that in a bad way its genuinely how i relate to him and got so hardcore into his content. but ppl really wanna take his ‘monotone’ voice n be like ‘see he doesnt actually care for ranboo’ which. wack

tl;dr: i think that these war criminals should be allowed to blow up countries and shit because i personally find it very fun and i like them very much

[mygutsforgarters]

hi, gus! 🤗 thanks for opening up your anons for me! i was just wondering how maj’s book is reading so far?? i’m sure it’s wonderful but it’s cool to see how writers and readers view/think about the work, you know? and to see how original work differs from their fanfic. like what’s the the vibe, what are you liking about it, what are your thoughts? i hope this makes sense (and that it’s not too weird!!) 🙃

hey, bb!! no problem, and don’t worry; it makes perfect sense and you’re not being weird at all 💛 god knows i’m always looking for an excuse to gush about @majicmarker‘s bottomless wells of sparkling talent ✨

so i’ve already said this to maj several times but i’m p sure i’ve yet to express it publically, but if i didn’t know maj from anyone and just happened to stumble upon her book in a store and opened it up to skim it, i’d feel like i’d just struck gold, you know? like, it’s everything i could possibly want from a romance novel. it’s warm and witty in a really effortless sort of way, like, if you’re familiar with maj’s fic you’ll know what i mean. 

it has the general sweet and snappy ~vibe~ of her fics but it also stands on its own. like, the setting and characters are very much Hers, and the characters in particular are funny and likable and, jesus, so relatable. like, i’ve never been lucky enough to read about romantic leads who have anxiety before. their experiences are so true to life, and it’s just really lovely to see neurodivergent ppl take center stage and be treated as deserving of happy endings, too. i’d also like to add that her supporting characters are absolute GEMS and never once feel like they’re only there to prop up the leads’ love story. 

and, listen, i love romance novels. i love them, and i think that a lot, if not all, of the criticism that’s leveled toward the genre boils down to misogyny. HOWEVER, i do believe that contemporary romances in particular are getting stale and needs to be revitalized, and i believe that maj’s book is going to do that. it takes tropes you thought you were tired of and puts a fresh, fun spin on them. it does away with other tropes entirely and turns the rest on their heads. tired of asshole alpha male leads who deserve nothing so much as a good kick in the nads? then you’re gonna love maj’s gruff, subby sweetheart, just like you’re gonna adore his smartass cutie pie of a girlfriend. 

most importantly, i think, is the experience of watching (or reading about, rather) her two leads fall in love. like, a lot of the time you’ll read or watch a romance and go, “...okay, you’re in love, but what do you LIKE about each other? do you even like each other?” that’s not a problem here. the love and affection just shines through in the writing, and that’s because maj really cares about what she’s doing and the characters she’s writing. she’s got a gift, and i can’t wait for her to share it with the rest of you 💛

[enpassion]

different realities bring up different stories and that’s how diversity works. you can’t expect all lgtbq+, poc, neurodivergent/neuroatypical, immigrant, disabled ppl to live just the same and complain whenever they show they don’t.

if you want people to tell their stories in order to make art more “diverse” and “inclusive” but complain whenever someone does because it’s different from *your* expectations, you’re doing it wrongly.

the same way you do relate to some characters and events in media, you won’t relate to others and the same or opposite will happen to other people; that’s because everyone’s story is different as john pointed out perfectly in that scene from Happiest Season.

i remember the same [film] discourse happened two years ago because elio and oliver from Call me by Your Name ended up separated because of personal issues instead of homophobia. apparently, the fact the two didn’t went on suffering for being queer sitted wrong for some people and that was the reason they loathed it. i’m not saying cmbyn is my favourite movie in the entire world nor i’ll defend it to death but do you really think this is a valid reason to call it out of “inaccuracy”? it’s a movie set in the 80s, the main [bisexual] character has a supportive dad who does a beautiful discourse towards the end of the film and he wasn’t afraid to show his love. this [point specifically, i didn’t enjoyed it when i first watched and agree with other critics in general, this is not a pro-cmbyn post, notice that] is something to be celebrated, not repressed.

well, i am a closeted trans man and mlm as well and have been hiding my boyfriend from my family for 9 months and couting. i’ve been hiding my identity since i first knew i was lgbtq+ and yes it hurts and yes it sucks, and yes i relate to harper when she says she wasn’t hiding abby but herself and i know there are other lgbtq+ people who relate to those feelings, or even the situation itself. i do relate to the feelings but not the situation at all because we have different livings, but to someone out there both things are relatable. and the opposite to a different person. i think it’s just easy to point out to “inaccuracy” when you haven’t faced a similar situation that it���s actually very common in most lgbtq+ realities. if you’re not feeling represented by it, it doesn’t means you’re allowed to despise as if it is some kind of absurd. either you encourage people to tell their stories or repress them for doing so, there is no in-between.

notice that i’m not trying to change opinions and make people like movies they didn’t enjoyed at first but to make clear that all this culture of hating what doesn’t “represents” you, either (so-called) fictional characters or events is bullshit. i do believe some of harper’s actions were harmful and i’m not defending her blindly in this (but to be very honest, i believe it was a problem with the screenwriting and the character’s development itself) but i’m saying there is a reason why the things happened the way they did, and if there are people who are represented by it, it should keep going the way it is. you’re not allowed to invalidate someone’s entire journey simply because you don’t relate to a character. everyone’s story is different and that’s how diversity works.

[jonghyyn]

ok so I wanna go into psych as like a career or something, but I always see tumblr complain of "neurotypical psychiatrists™" and all that so I was wondering (yeah wait ok for context I am neurotypical) how can I avoid being the Neurotypical™? not in a "I wish I was underprivileged so I could have something to complain about" ofc (in case that's how I came off) but I think you get what im asking?? hopefully

well the big thing id keep in mind is that you have to Listen to neurodivergent people about their experiences. this might seem simple and straightforward but hooo boy u have no clue how often we are not listened to, how our problems are dismissed, how our understanding of Our Own Mental Illnesses is seen as not as important. the biggest problem w neurotypical psych majors and the like is that they prioritize Their understanding of neurodivergence over what neuodivergent people are saying. like pls just listen!! and dont think that bc u took an intro to psych class like Once u suddenly have a better grasp of what its like to be nd than actual people who are nd. dont lecture nd people because u think u know better than them. dont talk down to us or treat us like we are secondary sources in our own lives. i cannot stress this enough like just Listen and stay in ur lane i swear if u do these two things ur ahead of a solid 80% of neurotypical psych majors already lmfao. and whenever you can please correct your fellow neurotypical people if u see them doing shitty things call them out on it. if u find urself being called out by a neurodivergent person Listen To Them Holy Shit bc as a nt person ur probably gonna fuck up inevitably so Listen when nd people tell u that you did. 

this is really the biggest thing. if u really want to assist nd people in any sense youve got to listen to us about our realities. dont dismiss problems because they dont seem to u to be problems. and  don’t act like just bc youve meet one nd person youve met them all Like i am but one nd person and someone elses experiences are sure to differ from mine so dont use /my/ experience to tell another person ‘no its not like that’ and also dont use another persons experience to tell me ‘no its not like that.’ whenever possible find a way to give a platform for neurodivergent people Because trust me my dude the neurotypical voice is way Way overrepresented in the field l m f a o find a way to help nd people be heard bc we are often not. boost neurodivergent voices whenever u can. dont speak on behalf of people if u can make them heard directly. also neurodivergent people often have their own communities for discussing stuff and in that case just stay out of them. those communities arent for u..dont intrude or come in thinking u can give advice Or just in any way think ur entitled to neurodivergent peoples communities just bc ur a psych major. and be aware of ableism!! its really such a wide and vast issue that i cant rly hope to cover it in a concise way here but Always make urself aware of things that are ableist and try to adjust ur behavior. being aware of ableism is so incredibly important and u wouldnt believe how many psych students just really fucking arent. im not just talking about the overt ways that everyone can recognize as ableism, but the more subtle ways it often manifests.

also while im alright with answering this question please dont act like every nd person in ur day to day life has to be a Representative and explain every thing to you. we dont exist as lessons to teach neurotypical people so dont demand that we live our Every Second of our lives to teach u. this is different than going into a general setting designed for conversation- im saying like if u know ur friend is depressed dont treat as if they have to like The Representative of Their Disorder every second of the day. take the time to educate urself. also when u do know nd people, dont try to say things like “haha yeah i deal with that too” if theyre detailing stuff that impacts them bc of their mental health p l e a s e dont do that. u might think ur harmlessly relating to them But in fact u are continuing a trend in which symptoms that mentally ill ppl must deal with are “essentially the same” as what a neurotypical person goes through. so So often symptoms are met with “everyone goes through that” and its just simply not true so dont perpetuate that. 

please Please dont do the thing that i see so many nt psych majors do where theyre all “i want to get into this field because the mentally ill people are so Fascinating :) their brains are so Interesting to examine :)’ bc it feels so… dehumanizing i think is the best word. there is ways to phrase a desire to learn more and educate urself about human psychology Without sounding dehumanizing. one of the biggest issues in the field is the way neurodivergent people are treated as less than human. watch out for the way u discuss neurodivergent people and Ask urself if the way ur talking sounds like youre discussing cattle. treat nd people as less than human is probably one of the biggest and most ingrained issues in the field so keep it in mind pretty much always. and please Please especially dont turn this mentality onto ur nd friends. dont try to psychoanalyze them out of nowhere like that not every single nd person u meet exists to be a Study for u. on top of that its really othering. nd people are in fact People so treat them as such. we’re not case studies for u.

also (and this is true for literally every nt person regardless) dont try to pull the ‘we’re all a little bit depressed xD’ or ‘nobody is Really neurotypical we’re all different’ bc all it does is delegitimize the specific experiences that nd people have had for being neurodivergent. like No we’re not all “a little  ___” and by claiming so u erase the things that we have to deal with Specifically for being neurodivergent by pretending its a thing that impacts people equally. and also other general nt things to keep in mind- advice like “drink some water and do yoga” is 100% entirely fucking useless literally always i can guarantee u nobody wants to hear it.dont claim you support nd people and then turn around and support ableist ways of thinking/humor. dont…please just fucking dont…. do the stuff like “Heres the mental illness that donald trump (or any bad person) has xD” please stop equating being mentally ill with being a fundamentally bad person. really in general stray away from giving anyone unwanted advice and dont think that whatever courses youve taken make u an expert on any individuals neurodivergence more than they are.