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parcoeurs · 4 years ago

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Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.

thanks bestie so am i.

okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:

but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)

he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.

and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.

they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.

so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.

and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)

they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)

"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.

"not without you again."

so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?

they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)

slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.

the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).

he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.

"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.

"what?"

"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.

his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).

he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.

but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)

the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.

maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.

charles cries when he reads it.

not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]

ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.

pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/

fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice. charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(

pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.

not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.

but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.

THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.

#rs #anonymous #asks #1016 #just checked this is 1.7k words i am so so so sorry

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midnightsnyx · 5 years ago

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Consequences - Matthew Tkachuk: part 6

summary: you absolutely hate Matthew Tkachuk so it’s just your luck when you wind up pregnant with his child.

a/n: well... here it is lol 2(or 3?) weeks late. sorry for the wait, this chapter was just a bitch to write and every time i thought i was done, i wasn’t happy with it & i didn’t wanna post just for the sake of posting. but i stayed up until 2 a.m. to finish this, so technically it is sunday so im posting on schedule lol

im not sure how many parts are left to this story, maybe two or three + an epilogue but i haven’t decided yet.

also, this gif made me feel things 😂

word count: 2.1k (i wish they were longer too but im doing the best i can��)

warnings: none other than a couple swear words

Part 6

29 weeks

“What are you doing?”

“Researching how to murder someone and get away with it.” You mutter, typing where to buy a tiger in Google.

Becca gives you a wary look and sits next to you. “Everything okay?”

“No!” You groan in frustration, tossing your phone on the coffee table. “Matthew is driving me insane.”

She frowns. “Is he being an ass?”

“He’s being nice. Too nice.” You grumble, ignoring when Becca chuckles. “It’s like he’s trying to make up for missing the doctor’s appointment even though I told him I forgive him.”

Becca raises an eyebrow at you and you try to ignore her pointed look. “Do you though?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask defensively.

“You’re different around him now and I’m sure he’s noticed. It’s like you don’t trust him.”

You start to deny her accusation but stop to think about it. Were you more cautious around Matt lately? You certainly didn’t let yourself depend on him for things that you had been before, too afraid that he would let you down. You wanted to, but there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind reminding you that he’s let you down before and there’s always a chance he will again.

It’s as if Becca can read your mind because she shrugs. “You should be honest with him.”

However, something you’ve learned recently is that too much honestly can get you in trouble.

. . .

Sending Matt a text that said we need to talk, probably wasn’t the best approach because it took him approximately fifteen minutes to show up at your apartment and his is a half hour drive away from yours.

So his windblown hair and wide eyes really weren’t a surprise when you opened your front door.

“So, I think I should have worded that text a little better.”

“You think?” He huffs, walking past you when you step aside. He doesn’t even bother to take his shoes or jacket off, walking straight to the living room and turning to look at you.

“I’m sorry. For whatever I did.” He says and you groan.

“That’s the problem! Stop being sorry for things. It’s driving me nuts.”

He frowns and looks at you in confusion. “So… you don’t want me to be sorry for things?”

“I don’t want you to not be sorry for things, I just want you to stop being sorry for everything. It’s like you’re walking on eggshells around me.”

“I’m just trying to make-”

“Make up for missing the appointment.” you say, finishing his sentence. “I know.” your hand falls to your stomach and you sigh. “We’re going to be parents in less than three months. We need to start trusting each other.”

Matt slowly walks over to you and reaches out for your hand which you let him hold. His thumb rubs across the back of it and he nods.

“You’re right.”

You grin and lightly punch his shoulder with your free hand. “Of course I am. When am I ever wrong?”

He smiles, pulling you in for a hug and pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You ignore the way it makes your heart race because the last thing you need right now is your feelings for him to get even more confusing when you’re both finally on the same page.

Things are good now and you can’t risk messing it up.

. . .

31 weeks

He’s like a kid in a candy store, you’ve realized as you follow Matt around buy buy BABY. He has two carts, one already stocked full of things and the other slowly being filled. You stopped keeping count of how much everything costed an hour ago because the number started to make you queasy.

“He has enough clothes, Matty.” You whine, taking note of how Matt trips over his feet when you call him by that nickname. “and he’ll grow out of them before he even gets a chance to wear them.”

“Last one, I swear.” He says, holding up an outfit. “C’mon, how fucking cute is he going to look in this?”

“If his first word is a swear word, I’m going to kill you.” You mutter, taking the outfit from him and tossing it in the cart. Matt just grins and rests a hand on your stomach, hoping the baby will kick.

“How’s Joey?”

“Grayson is doing just fine.”

“We’re never going to come to an agreement on a name, are we?” he asks and you smile sweetly.

“Nope.”

He laughs and starts walking towards the checkouts.

“Did my mom tell you that they’re coming to visit?” He asks and you nod, recalling your conversation with Chantal. She’d called you first to make sure you were okay with the entire Tkachuk clan showing up. She knows how stressful pregnancy is and didn’t want to overwhelm you.

But you were ecstatic when she asked if it was okay for them to visit. You’ve grown to depend on her for any pregnancy questions over the past seven months and even when you needed some regular advice for everyday things, you sometimes texted her.

“Yeah, it’s Wednesday, right?”

Matt nods, smiling politely at the cashier as he starts loading every thing on the conveyor belt. You can tell that she’s a hockey fan by the way her eyes light up when she recognizes who he is.

“I’ve been meaning to ask if you can pick them up from the airport?” He asks, catching you off guard. “Their plane lands around noon and I won’t be back until later that night and I don’t really want them to have to take a cab.”

You’re a little surprised that he’s asking you to do this instead of paying someone or asking a close friend to do it instead. It’s an odd feeling, realizing that he trusts you with his family.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” You tell him and his smile warms you to the bone.

. . .

You show up to the airport forty-five minutes early because you can’t decide if you should wait in the SUV for Matt’s family, or meet them in the airport. Would it be weird to wait for them inside like you would with your own friends or family? You double check your phone to make sure that Matt did tell them it was you picking them up because how weird would it be if they were expecting him only to find you waiting.

You’re definitely over thinking it but you find yourself standing at the gates when their plane lands.

Chantal is the first person you see and her face lights up and she scurries over to you, pulling you in for a soft hug.

“Oh, look at you!” She gushes, taking your hands in hers and holding you at arms length. “You’re glowing.”

Glowing isn’t exactly the word you would use because as much as you tried to look nice to pick them up, you’re still seven months pregnant, sweating because of the jacket you have on and most definitely are wearing odd shoes because you can no longer see your feet and Matt wasn’t here to check for you.

But you blush nonetheless, letting Keith, Taryn, and Brady hug you before starting to walk to baggage claim.

“Thank you for picking us up.” Chantal says and you smile.

“It’s nothing,” you say, brushing it off. “You’ve done a lot for me.”

“Anything I can do to help. I know how hard it is being pregnant with your man travelling a lot.”

You want to correct her when she calls Matt your man, but you don’t want to be impolite so you just nod.

“Speaking of your man,” Brady says in a teasing voice, “what time does he get in, again?”

“Around 8.” You say, ignoring the teasing tone and changing the subject to ask Taryn how school is going. You know you’ll hear more comments about the nature of your relationship with Matt from his brother but for now, you chat with Taryn and Chantal about plans for the baby.

. . .

Matt gave you a key to his apartment when you both realized that you spent more time at his these days then you did at your own so you don’t miss the knowing looks Chantal and Keith share when you use your key to unlock Matt’s apartment. You know they can tell it’s your key and not Matt’s because he painted it your favourite colour when he gave it to you.

“So do we get a sneak peak of the nursery?” Taryn asks hopefully and you nod, gesturing for her to follow you. Matt turned one of the guest rooms in to the nursery in his apartment. You haven’t done anything with yours yet because you and Matt were starting to wonder if after the baby is born, at least for a little while, the two of you should just live together. It would certainly make things much easier.

“It’s beautiful.” Chantal says, and you can see her eyes watering a little.

“We’re going to put up letters spelling his name above the crib.”

“Oh yeah, have you guys decided on a name yet?” Keith asks, testing the sturdiness of the crib by wiggling it a little.

“No.” You mutter. “We can’t agree on anything.”

“You’ll find something you both love eventually.” Chantal reassures you. “Now, please tell me my son has food in his fridge, because I’m going to cook dinner.”

You grin, realizing that she too knows how bad Matt is at keeping his fridge stocked. Before you started spending so much time here, you would be lucky if he had eggs in the fridge.

. . .

Matt arrives home just as dinner is cooked and you get to witness what a typical Tkachuk night must look like. There’s lots of chirps thrown but you can tell how close this family is and how much they care about each other. Especially when it comes to Matt and his mom and sister. He treats them like gold and it warms your heart to see it.

After dinner, you volunteer to clean up and you’re surprised when Keith offers to help. You’ve only spoken to him a few times before today and you don’t feel as close to him as you do with Chantal so it’s quiet while the two of you clear up the dishes.

Keith breaks the silence after a couple minutes, turning to look at you.

“I know Matthew can be a handful… but don’t give up on him, okay?”

You’re surprised to hear this coming from Keith because you were truthfully expecting Taryn or Brady to say something about it. Every time you and Matthew touched or spoke to each other, you noticed the knowing looks and soft smiles from the other Tkachuk family members.

It was like they knew something that neither you nor Matthew did.

You’re not sure what exactly to say so you just nod.

“I won’t.” You promise, realizing that you truly mean it.

#matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fanfiction #matthew tkachuk #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #calgary flames imagines #calgary flames fanficton #allies writing

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masterthespianduchovny · 4 years ago

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No please share your theory if only you want to though. Well I mean David did kinda almost slip up when he said years age Nate's the single guy lol & him unintentionally always bringing her up and Gillian is getting flustered and shit and whatnot all the time when he's brought up. In your OWN opinion do you think that DD is also captivated/charmed with GA's charisma and her being her in general?

Wait, what does “Nate’s the single guy” refer to again?

Full disclosure: the only thing I claim to be true is that David and Gillian are friends, which I’ve stated before last Sunday.

This is all speculation on my end and I don’t claim it’s the truth by any means.

Personally, the only way I can make sense of David and Gillian’s is if they were/are having a torrid affair.

Antis will claim this is a fantasy of mine, but I don’t fantasize about people having affairs. However, I am realistic that these things happen.

As I mentioned in another post, how is Gillian still flustered about a question she literally answers several times a year for almost 30 years? Why can’t she give a straight answer? Why does she lie and sometimes contradict herself?

Because she was and currently is involved with David in an on again/off again affair. Depending on her answer, they’re either involved at that moment and/or she’s upset at him.

Where as David can answer the question, but he slips up in other ways.

And it explains why they’d lie about it.

Let’s get something clear: they’ve always admitted that they’ve had a complicated relationship, which they are open about, but they’ve never said they’ve hated each other.

Part of the reason is that they both have dominant personalities, the other reason is that they couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to each other for whatever reason. Then when they got married to their respective spouses and had kids, but still fucked around, they couldn’t expose their indiscretions.

They’re both trying to protect their kids, David more so than Gillian. David’s father cheating, and then leaving his mom for his mistress, deeply shaped David and his brother. People may think this is ironjc and hypocritical, but sometimes kids mimic their parents behavior. Even the toxic shit. As a result, he doesn’t want his kids finding out what he did because he knows what it could do to them. It’s also to spare their former spouses embarrassment (to be honest, I’m not sure David and Gillian would ever receive public blowback for it, esp now. People already think they’re fucking, so what difference would it make). Acknowledging that they ever hooked up leads to questions about when, and then people doing the math.

Gillian’s marriage was from ‘94-‘97 and David’s from ‘97-‘14. Okay, so maybe Gillian was single for a few months and David was single during his separations from tea. I’m not sure there’s a lot of overlap where they were both technically single at the same time. David dated Perry and the woman who dated det white. There has almost always been a relationship going on.

So if they’ve been fucking on and off for almost 30 years, it wasn’t always when both were single. One or both of them were definitely in relationships.

Something we know happened: Gillian admitted that they were talking (as in trying to see if it could lead somewhere) when David lost interest because she wasn’t from New York.

So there is evidence straight out of Gillian’s mouth that when they first met they kinda hit it off in that way before David walked away.

During the dark ages, you know the time they famously ‘hated’ each other, David elopes and doesn’t tell Gillian. Months later, her and David are doing an interview for print or video where they interview each other. Gillian brings up tea and is like, “you must’ve really liked tea to marry her so quick” and “why didn’t you tell me that you were getting married?” This isn’t verbatim, but the gist of it. David says, “you’re still mad about that?”

Let’s take a moment to note how weird that is. They hate each other, right? Why would Gillian fucking care that David didn’t tell her he was getting married and that it happened so quick? It doesn’t matter, but she was hurt by that. She really was. It wasn’t friend hurt, it was jealousy and betrayal.

David hates Gillian, but makes snarky remarks about her boyfriend Roland aka “six pack” (or is it eight pack). “Well, he hates her right, so it makes sense he’d make cracks about her boyfriend?” Well, years later, it’s an inside joke between them.

Their failed relationships are inside jokes to them. Does anyone else find it unusual how often they joke about their failed marriages and relationships? How is this something apart of their narrative or necessary when talking about how long they’ve known each other?

The only way their behavior and responses makes sense to me is if their relationship is messy as hell.

Why would you lie about how close you are to someone unless you had something to hide?

When you comb through their history and read/see what they were doing and what they said, it doesn’t match this narrative that they hated each other. They were at a difficult point in their relationship, personally and professionally, and that bled over into work and interviews. But they’ve always maintained that it wasn’t hate, it was just complicated.

I think in “ghost in the machine” Gillian pretends to blow David. They insisted on doing the “cut” FTF loss and I write cut in parenthesis because, although it was cut, it shouldn’t have existed. They made out twice for fun. Why? Why would you make out for fun with someone you hate? And didn’t this occur during the dark ages? In the unnatural, after tea leaves the set, David starts humping Gillian and she giggles. Yes, two people who hate each other right there.

Their relationship was so tense and complicated because they were stubborn, proud, and strong willed. Those type of people are bound to clash. Throw in their work environment and their relationships, it was a pressure cooker. An explosion waiting to happen.

When people say they hated each other, the question is why and how did they get over that?

There’s never an answer for it. Or when they do claim something, it’s disproven.

And that’s because they didn’t.

If they hated each other, they wouldn’t have done IWTB, various cons together, or even seasons 10 and 11.

Could I be 100% wrong about this, ABSOLUTELY.

Look, it’s no skin off my back if I’m wrong.

I just can never shake the sensation of how Gillian looks like she’s about to be caught or is scared when she’s on a late night show and someone says “picture” and “David” in the same sentence. She looks shaken.

What was up with their kimmel interview?

Why we they basically flirting while talking about hooking up with women?

I expect anon hate accusing me of saying “you said that they had a horrid affair doe 30 years.” 🙄 “but Gillian was so in love with Peter and David loves young pussy.” But my whole point is, I don’t know what to make of their relationship and this is the only thing that makes sense to me. Both of those things could be true in these hypothetical anon hates, it still doesn’t change what I said.

Hell, even Téa while freshly married to David described his relationship with Gillian as sibling like and like a married couple. What does that even mean?

People who talk about “Téa had to force David to invite Gillian to his housewarming party.” Was that because he hated Gillian or because they used to fuck/were fucking. Inviting your former/current lover to your new home with your new wife. A bit awkward and disrespectful, wouldn’t you say?

Keep in mind, months before (or a year before), he was her date to the Emmys, as a friend, to support her because her divorce was being announced that day. How do you go from that to hating each other and not wanting this person to come to your housewarming party?

What was the catalyst?

Why did the fall out?

Didn’t their tension start around the time he married Téa? 🌚

I don’t know if it’s in the same year or within the same 12 months of his marriage, but she’s mad at David at one award show and kissing him on the cheek at another. Dark ages, right?

Remember when Gillian gave a spot on, unfavorable assessment of David and he responded to it all hurt and moody? 😂

And, how could I forget, let’s think of the other suspect behaviors.

1. David: we only email like five times a year.

Gillian: that’s what you like to tell people.

2. Gillian’s gum falls out of her mouth, David puts it in his mouth.

3. Gillian spitting food in his hand and David not being grossed out by it.

3. David pulling on the hem of Gillian’s shirt to pull her closer so he can sign it. Neither thinks twice about it, despite the level of intimacy being unusual.

4. David biting on her shirt.

5. David going quiet and making shit awkward after joking about her saying she kept saying she’d point at random men and say, “I’m going to marry that man.” Same occasion two minutes before, Gillian asking how David knew who mitch’s wife was (it was her stunt double). It felt accusatory.

6. The chili’s story where she has to explain she means Mulder and Scully had sex at Chili’s and not them.

7. Then holding hands under the table at comic con in 2013.

And there’s a lot of stories either I forgot or don’t know, I’m still finding out new things.

I know this theory destroys their perspective of DDGA and it ruins them for some fans, but it’s just a theory. Like I said, I’m not saying it’s the truth. I’m saying it would explain a shit ton about the ebbs and flows of their relationship and why they’re so inconsistent and reactive to being asked about each other for just about three decades. Why aren’t they bored of the question by now and answer it without this big to do?

I don’t know if David stans believe he is/was a cheater, but Gillian stans swear he is until you mention he could’ve cheated with Gillian. All of the sudden, he’s faithful and committed. 😒

I can admit that I might be wrong because I don’t know them. Only they know what goes on in their relationship. But if you had friends acting like they do, you’d think they were fucking or wanted to even when they insist otherwise.

To tour last question: OF COURSE David is captivated by Gillian. Gillian is attractive, funny, and flirty. They seem to have similar senses of humors at times as well. She’s silly too. I can totally see David being taken in by her because we see that now.

He’s more of the straight man to her zaniness, but he finds her zaniness endearing.

EDIT: please feel free to add any normal colleague behavior between David and Gillian over the years. 👀

#anon mail #evergreen gillovny #prepares for hate anon #how many will I get #it’s fitting it should be on the one week anniversary of THE PICTURE #Just sub ‘they were having an affair’ at certain difficult points into their relationship and it all makes sense #😂

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eponymous-rose · 5 years ago

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E96 (February 25, 2020)

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: The Chicago live show and C2E2 are imminent! The live show will be on Thursday night, but an hour earlier than usual, at 6 PM Pacific/8 PM Central! Liam will be at the live show, but unfortunately has to leave C2E2 early and won’t be able to make it on Sunday. On Friday, the first behind-the-scenes video for The Legend of Vox Machina animated series was posted on YouTube, introducing the writing team!

Episode 96: Family Shatters

Stats for this week’s episode! Of the 16 times Caleb has cast Teleportation Circle, the M9 have remembered to contact someone prior to their arrival 7 times. Of those 7 times, they were successful at contacting someone at the location only 3. Taliesin: “We’re playing this game like Skyrim, we’re just going through people’s houses breaking pottery.” Caduceus got the straw hat that he gave to Clarabelle in episode 31, about 188 in-game days ago. There were 17 cow-related puns. Dani: “Is that above or below average for a Critical Role episode?”

“Clay was kind of built relatively quickly. I didn’t give Matt a ton to play with. I gave him the order in which they left, I gave him Clay’s attitude and his impression of his family members, which was usually just one sentence, and some basic idea of what their power set might be if they had one. I always thought of him as, from a family perspective, of what would have happened to Percy if nothing went wrong.” He was happy to be the one to run the family business and just hang around at home and run the shrine. “I think the rest of the kids’ wanderlust probably put them at odds quite a bit.” He liked being able to play that conflict and show what Caduceus was like when he was annoyed. Cad took after his father, the girls generally wanted to leave, and Colton is “just sort of a doofus.”

Caleb was an only child, so seeing this many kids was a lot. “They clearly had their grudges and their different dynamics with each other, but that’s normal, for sure. Caleb’s very unfamiliar with it.” He also keeps looking at Nott and thinking about how everything he’s doing is about wanting to rebuild his family, whereas Nott is so conflicted about going back to hers. “He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t want to push it” or judge her for it. “I thought I had a really defined direction at the start of the campaign, but my seven best friends have knocked it silly.”

What’s keeping Cad with the Nein? “Caduceus is not ready to go home at all. He’s not done with his walkabout. He feels like he wants to see a bit more. He feels he has an intense debt to pay. He feels he has a mission to see everybody else through, at the very least. Or at least he’s telling himself that. So he’s saved his home, or at least he thinks he’s saved his home, and his family’s all right, so now it’s debts that must be paid. He’s not somebody who thinks you can just get off the bus.”

“Caleb was going to ask [the hag] about the ability to travel backward through time, not really believing that she could do that, but was still like, show me what you’ve got.” Even if she’d said it, he would have thought she was a liar. “Probably would’ve offered to kill the M9″ in exchange, then would’ve turned around to hit her with a surprise Disintegrate. Liam notes repeatedly that nothing could possibly have been as cool as what Laura wound up doing.

On the Nein not worrying about places Cad considered sacred ground, Caduceus “is fine with conflict. He doesn’t even really have to have conflict, he could assert himself if he were so inclined. It’s that he’s aware that there are limits to what these people can do. It’s very much the philosophy of ‘children and drunks can do no wrong’.” He’s picking his battles.

Was there a defining moment where Caleb started seeing the Nein as family? No single moment. “It’s like love by a thousand cuts.” Liam notes that he’s still not sure how Caleb would react if he suddenly had the means to carry out his plans. “He’s got the recovering-addict mentality.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Pumat! (CriticalHitical, photo by Minniemooncos on Twitter)

Taliesin notes that Caduceus is definitely feeling more connected to the group. “If anything, Caduceus is really embracing his role as the spiritual guide to the group. He feels like he really has a lot to offer from that perspective of being the roving therapist. Or at least, he thinks he’s a roving therapist.” Liam notes that Cad is the most mysterious of the group to Caleb. “He’s the most religious character I’ve ever played, too. He’s fun! He really came together very nicely.”

On Caleb being more lighthearted on occasion: “He’s been out of practice being a human being for a long time.” The Nein’s brand of ridiculousness is rubbing off on him.

Why hasn’t Cad been pranking the Nein? “They don’t treat him poorly in that way yet. Siblings, man. I have quite a few siblings, and there is an energy. It’s the same way like when you’re around your parents, you revert to a 15-year-old.” Same with siblings. “There’s just something-- just the urge to torture them is so overpowering.” The moment he got the whistle, he knew exactly what he was going to do with it. Liam was reminded of Taliesin’s real-life siblings while watching these interactions in the game.

On Caleb’s laying on compliments for the Traveler: “The thing about time travel is it’s so implausible. It’s so implausible that I could see us finishing this campaign and Caleb will still have it in the back of his head for the rest of his life. But maybe Artagan could help with that. He certainly sees the potential in Artagan, and it was a balance between wanting to support everything Jester has devoted her life to, so it just felt like everyone was ready to write it off. Life is often like this, life isn’t what you thought it would be, it is what it is. Let’s not damn this yet, let’s feel it out. And if I can use this situation to possibly eradicate ultimate evil, that’s a win.”

Cad found it tough to have family and friends in the same room and play both roles. “I don’t know how much it came across that he was trying to keep them, not necessarily separated, but ‘family, guys, guys, family, ANYWAY.’” He did want to get his family on their way as quickly as possible. Cad is the equivalent of his early 20s, so something like 85-120 years old for a firbolg.

Liam is asked about the conversation between Caleb and Yasha on watch several episodes ago. "You know what one of the best parts of that scene that played out was, is about 20 minutes or 30 minutes before that happened, I texted Ashley at the table and said, ‘Want to take watch? I have nothing planned, it could be fun.’” He wasn’t expecting it to go that far. “I think he had such an extreme reaction because he felt that he had done a good job of hiding things, and he was suddenly worried that he was transparent, that everyone had been able to read him this whole time when he’d thought that he was-- well, he’s a little in love with Jester Lavorre, and has been for a while, uselessly in love with her. The waltz was probably a little pebble. And in that moment-- this doesn’t play out verbally too much in the show, but he just was worried that this thing that he’s never going to admit to because it’s useless, she’s finding herself, and has her whole life ahead of her, and has other people around her who care about her and are a whole lot better for her than he is. And he’s aware of the way those two [Fjord and Beau] feel as well. It’s just there in the background fucking up his shit. It’s really just a problem. Big fucking problem.”

Fan art of the week: a gorgeous Clay family portrait! (by Teaweltzer on Twitter)

On Clay being absent for the renewal of his home: “I don’t think his arc’s ending off-screen. I think his arc ends when he comes home to see what’s become of it.”

Is Caleb worried about Beau since the confrontation with her father? “Of course he is. She’s ignoring all the advice that she gave him. He doesn’t like to see her that hard on herself when she’s so competent and probably the backbone of the group. It’s the most judgey Caleb’s been of anybody, really, but he’s very aware of the pain of family and personal stuff. She knows her, and even though he broke his shit in half, he could still see the dynamic in the room when we visited his family, so he feels for her. We need you and we love you and we will miss you, you don’t fucking get to go.”

Each of the temples has a secondary god; what was the Blooming Grove’s other god? “The Blooming Grove is for the Archeart because it is a gift of beauty. It’s the Allhammer, the Changebringer, and the Archeart. It’s kind of a powerplay from the Wildmother, in my opinion. They’re all three based off of very specific types of funereal practices that are common throughout the world.”

Caleb saw giving over the transformation spell to Essek as a returning of one of his many favors. “Caleb likes Essek a lot. They’re like two highly gifted kids at school together. And, you know, he’s quirkily charming and handsome. There’s just no reason not to, in his mind. Outside of the M9, he’s probably the only person that Caleb would see as a friend that he’s made. Everyone else is just sort of scenery around the M9.”

What’s next for Cad? “It’s a little bit of finding himself, or at least finishing himself would be the way to put it.” (cue snickering from off-camera) “He’s also vaguely aware of some of the things that are going to possibly emotionally damage the party on the horizon, and he wants to be ready to deal with, in vague order, whatever’s going to happen to Jester, and then whatever’s going to happen to Fjord, and then whatever’s going to happen to Nott, and Yasha, and Caleb. He doesn’t know how to deal with what Beau’s going through. It’s the one thing he has no experience of, because he has no experience with that family dynamic. When he met people with that family dynamic, it was always at the end of it.”

Some fans sent in death whistles. Brian encourages Taliesin to play one on the plane.

The hat for Calliope was a last-minute thought. The flute could also have gone for Colton, depending on “who I could sneak up on”.

Caleb took a symbol of the Archeart from the Labenda Swamp. “I think it was familiar to me. I think I might have either correctly or mistakenly thought it reminded me of the woman who helped Caleb in the Sanatorium.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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lovesaadiqa · 4 years ago

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BBL Costs, Prep + Recovery

Im booked!! I talked to a few friends who I know either got this surgery or is getting this done. I wanted one since forever but I wanted my teeth done first. The deciding factor came down to my birthday plans.

Originally I was going to do a birthday tour. First weekend of October in Miami for carnival, 2nd weekend in Atl for Freak Nik, 3rd weekend in Bahamas and finally Nola for the finale. Well Nola was just hit with a storm so yeah that’s out. Once I totaled up the flights, hotels, food and spending money.. I was like hmm, I can get a fat ass and started this process. Immediately looked into surgeon and Dr. Pena was my favorite, his bodies come out so mf snatched, he’s located in Columbia. Columbian surgeons can take out way more fat than American doctors however, the fatality rate is stupid and ultimately the factor that made me choose an American doctor.

The next step was choosing the surgeon for the body I have and the one I want. I weigh 151 and im 5′6″ I’m considered a “skinny bbl”. I started researching doctors in Atlanta (so I could recover at home) and Miami (like duh). I chose to go with Dr. Desouza in Miami with CG Cosmetics for a few reasons. First, I love the look of his skinny bbl’s on other women with the same body type, weight and height as me. Secondly, he was having a special for the end of the year (lipo 360, bbl, jplasma for $6500 for the surgeon I wanted) this almost sold me but it was the surgery date!! Jplasma is skin tightening procedure to help with loose skin, you can only get this with lipo. When they perform lipo they created canals under your skin to remove the fat.. well those same canals are essential when getting Jplasma.

Ok so I decided on the surgeon, contacted the cosmetic group and had a consultation which is pretty much just front, side and back view pictures.. I think they use this to make sure you don’t need a tummy tuck prior to surgery. They also asked me questions about previous surgeries and if i’ve ever had anesthesia. The next step went pretty quickly, we talked about what would be lipo’d (abs, waist, back.. I wanted inner thighs, an additional 2k, but was advised to wait on my pre-op to decide), when I wanted to book and how I'd pay. My consult was on August 30th.. I bitched up when she attempted to take my payment. I am a money hoarder and spending that much money made me feel like I was being financially irresponsible. I called one of my Aunt’s who I felt wouldn’t judge me and also give me sound advise. We talked about my fears, why I was getting the procedure and of course money. My Aunt gave me excellent advice, reassured me and is a professional CNA who offered to accompany me so yeah I dare not turn that down, lol. August 31, 2021, I called my coordinator (the contact between me and my surgeon) and told her I wanted to book, she asked me when I’d be ready and I requested first available which was 9/20/21!! Excited is an understatement.. I'd be 24 days post op on my birthday. After I calmed down I paid in full for multiple reasons: had to in order to secure the date, all surgeries book in this year had to be paid in full, it was the only way to get the discount.. My coordinator gave me so much information I couldn’t see straight (I was also high as shit off life thinking about a fat ass and me in the same sentence).. she emailed + texted everything, congratulated me and we hung up.

I get the emails: “raise you hemoglobin with these vitamins” I purchased vitamin C $2, folic acid $2, iron $3 and floradix $35 - amazon, I take them as directed on the bottle and start eating my ass off (just to give my surgeon more to work with, lol). Talking to one of my gf’s I realize I have to be cleared for surgery?!?! What? I open my email and sure enough I have to have blood work done 15-20 prior to surgery, it was 9/3 and a Friday.. SHIT!! I fly over to an Piedmont Wellstreet urgent care facility as recommended by my friend (she started this process as well so I was crazy grateful for her experience and that she shared it with me). Urgent care was full but opened the next day, my ass was in that line at 7:32 am, I was the 13th person in line and they opened at 8. I get to the desk and my appointment is at 10:30 and I'd have to pay the office visit fee to be seen, it was $155. I came back at my allotted time and was told how much all of my labs would be.. $302. My labs were to be processed and faxed to my surgeon by 9/9 because Labor Day weekend so.. yeah.

I discuss accommodations with my Aunt and realize it’s cheaper, safer and more beneficial for me to go to a recovery house. I search high and low baby and most of them were booked.. found one regardless with lymphatic massages included called Flawless Recovery House. This wasn’t my 1st-6th option but the one with availability on my surgery date so I paid a deposit to hold onto my spot. Total was $1312 for 5 days with 5 massages, I paid a $200 deposit. Next, I booked my flight, round trip $116 with Delta. My surgery date is on a Monday, I have to have my pre-op done on the Saturday prior so I booked a hostel from the 18th-20th on booking.com for $66. I know I could have gotten an airbnb or hotel room but I wanted this experience. I want to go to Amsterdam and stay in a hostel so I need to know what to expect. Also I cannot party, smoke, drink or eat before surgery so fuck it.. a hostel will do, lol.

I smoke big fucking weed and watched someone else’s bbl journey today and realize if I fail the drug test, my surgery will be cancelled and it’ll cost me $1500 to reschedule. Boy the shit sent me into panic mode like I've never experienced before, only to find out the weed isn’t the issue nicotine is, it slows down your heart rate. I can smoke weed just not out of a wood or a rillo and nicotine takes 3-4 days to get out of your system so a bitch barely made it. I just won't be smoking until I get back home lol. Just to be super informative no alcohol, diabetic meds, cocaine, pcp or anything that will fool with your heart or makes your bleed. Today is 9/11 and im one week out from my pre-op... my body is a joke cause I haven’t gained a single pound and normally it’s nothing for me to put on weight. I took my acrylics off, when you’re put to sleep they monitor your oxygen levels with those clamps they put on your fingers and they aren't the most accurate when you have on dark polish or acrylics. I also cannot wear lashes cause when they go to fill this ass in I'll be laying flat on my face. I mean my hair didn’t have requirements but I figure since im naked I might as well be bald.. y'all should see me rn, I look very much like a young man but im hype. I’ll be back later to tell y'all what I pack and purchase prior to my flight. Imma put the dates at the end of each update.. today is 9/11/21

My surgery group send me list of supplies that I would need and the cost came to roughly $1100. Naive me was definitely going to purchase everything on the list from them until I saw Leslie’s (@prettyhaute - on ig) bbl vlog. I went on amazon and got away with murder. Below I’ll list what I purchased and the price I paid versus what the surgery center was quoting me.

Faja - I paid $74.69 - Quoted $160.50 || BBL Pillow - $26.99 - Qouted $42.80 || Arnica pills - $8.95 - Quoted $37.45 || Compression socks - $13.99 for 3 - Quoted $10.70 for 1 || Foams - $17.99 for 3 - Quoted $64.20 for 3 || Scar Cream $$29.82 - Quoted $80.25 || Arnica Gel - $7.92 - Quoted $21.40 ||

There a shit ton of items on the suggested list that I didn't purchase but way more items that wasn’t on the list I still need for instance:

Crocs, benadryll, robe, adult diapers, straws, earplugs, liquid iv, stool softener, antiseptic body wash, avocado float, back board, urinal, pineapple juice, throat calm, 3 moo-moo’s and a massage roller (the crocs are the only thing on this list that cost more than $20). My flight is at 7:15a tomorrow and im so damn nervous but excited. I will spend Saturday and Sunday gallivanting around Miami and then body , ody, ody, ody, ody, ody. I still have to send my entire itinerary to my aunt but I think im all set. 9/17/21

Pre-op was packed but I went on Saturday and was in and out in an hour. I was charged for a covid $80, 3 post-op massages $150 and a drug test $20. I went over my clearance paper work with a medical assistant who also took 9 before pics of me. Keep in mind, your surgery can be cancelled or reschedule if all of you labs aren’t at the surgery center on pre-op day. I cannot stress how important it is to take your labs with you!!! Mine were faxed over from urgent care but I was also provided copies which I took with me. The photos were sent directly to my surgeon to analyze before surgery. From my knowledge, I was also to be fitted for my faja but that never happened, do NOT leave pre-op without a faja!!! I paid for 3 massages from CG totaling $150 which I regret badly. I do NOT recommend getting massages from the surgery center. There are 4-5 different surgeons performing surgeries on any given day and they do at minimum 4 surgeries per day, that’s at least 15-20 different girls with the same surgery and post-op date. CG had 2 massage therapists to drain 15-20 girls. I was drained for 9 mins, your drain massages should last at least 45 mins for maximum drainage. I only used 1 of the 3 massages I paid for and was denied a refund. That is a huge downside to CG once they have your money good fucking luck getting it back! Ps. Ellie was a royal fucking cunt!!!!! She told my medical assistant that I didn’t need a faja so I was never fitted for one and woke up out of surgery with a binder on versus a faja like I should have. I wanted to slap the shit out of her and took the charge on the chin but I wanted my surgery so I refrained.. I was put on a 12 hour fast and contacted an hour after pre-op with my surgery address and time. My fast started at 7pm the day before surgery and my surgery time wa at 6:30a, there was a $300 for showing up to surgery late. All I could bring to surgery was compression socks and a faja (that I didn’t have), I was instructed to bathe with dial (the orange one) before surgery to make sure my incisions weren’t infected, no lotion, perfume, deodorant, makeup, nails, lashes, no jewelry/piercing or hair products and no personals ie, purse money, wallet also you will need a companion or surgery will be cancelled. I’ll upload all my paperwork at the end. Surgery day arrive at the surgery center at 6:15 am how about the entire fucking staff was late! Bitch I was outside in Miami alone with compression socks on and a moo moo, LIVID. No one arrived until 7:10 am, baby I wanted to kill everyone but fuck it, it was go time. I’m escorted to a room, changed into a paper gown, piss tested, my labs were reviewed again and finally my surgeon comes in! We were in the exam room alone which was weird cause I was asshole naked but he kept it 1000% professional, he asked me what I wanted and I say “the fattest ass” he looked me dead in my eyes without a single hesitation and said “it’ll heal like a diaper” LMAO. I showed him areas that I wanted lipo’d to death and he marked me up, I didn’t aka e picture of my mark ups but shit was rolling by then, he walked out I put my paper gown back on and the anesthesiologist walked in. I expressed my biggest concerns to him, I didn’t want to die and I didn’t want to wake up during surgery. He explain why the drug test was so important because certain street drugs will have adverse effect with the anesthesia. My anesthesiologist walked me up to the surgery room and I hopped on the table, they put massage boots on both of my feet and inserted an iv, the mask was put on my face and my heart rate went to heaven, I wanted to shit myself bro. The anesthesiologist told me to make a tight fist, I asked what time it was, 8:08am.. I woke up to a nurse helping me into a wheelchair with a binder around my waist and I was scream crying because my entire body ached, I didn't know where I was and the anesthesia is no hoe. I was escorted to my recovery house’s transportation van and taken to my damn bed.

I chose Flawlesss Recovery House with Ms. Opal. I paid a $200 deposit before 2 weeks before surgery and the balance the day I left. I opted for a 5 day stay. I loved it there bro and couldn’t imagine trying to recover at a hotel or air bnb! There were nurses there 24-7, I was roomed with one other girl but the house had a total of 4 bedrooms, one of which no one occupied and the door was always shut but my room was the only room with 2 beds, the others had 3 beds. I had a call button, it was love, the nurses came expeditiously when I rang it. They made 3 home cooked meals per day and I don’t eat meat, they accommodated me with no hesitation. I loved it man. So couple hours after surgery I attempted to use the bathroom on my own and blacked out, the anesthesia is really fucking strong and took an entire day to wear off (for me), the nurses helped me pee in a cup until then. Post op day 9/21/21, I went in to make sure I looked good, got a faja finally and received that lousy as drain. Back to the recovery house I was able to walk finally w/o passing out and in went my foams, I also could pee by myself with the use of a urinal. I was constipated for 2 days, first bowel movement was on post op day 2. I paid for an independent massage therapist named Tatiana, she used a ultrasound machine to massage me so I cancelled her. When I took my faja off for my massage it was washed and dried by the time I was done, I took a shower and put my faja on with my foams. I cancelled Tatiana because don’t let nobody use no machine on you until you are at least 2 weeks post op, hand massages only. All the girls were getting massaged by the literal best massage therapist (in my opinion) her name is Brittany, I could cry she was EVERYTHING, I was tender but she put the painful massage theory to bed! She taught me how to drain myself and how to open my incisions without the q-tip looking thing. In 45 mins she drained 5 of those doggy pad things worth of fluid off of me. I received 4 massages in 5 days. I left on Saturday 9/25/2021 on Sunday, back in Atlanta, I received my 5th massage and that when I was told I have not one but 2 seromas. I swear on everything I love it was because everyone wakes up from surgery with a faja on but not me (Fuck you Ellie, lil bitch) I had on a binder (its what they use for tummy tucks). The lady who did my 1st massage in Atlanta was Bri, not gone post her ig cause she did a damn good massage but when I asked her to syringe drain me the good sis stuck this long ass needle in my seroma but could get the fluid out, cancelled her too (the massage was good asf tho but nah). Tired and tried I bit the bullet and booked a packed with Dream Body ($455 for 5 massage, I think, don’t quote me look it up on there site and follow them on ig) because they are the biggest name in Atlanta, Jayda Wayda goes to them. The most painful massage yet, yes Michelle lil ass is so strong but she will get the fluid up off you. She made me tear up bad and no matter how much I screamed or even tried to push her off of me she understood the assignment, Michelle helped me get back into my faja after my massage and told me my faja was too big and to have it altered. She recommended a lady on ig @siri2sir but to know me is to know I altered my shit myself. Allow me to tell y'all, I look good asf!!!!!!! 10/4/2021

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treechangeseachange · 4 years ago

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The return

It’s coming up to 3 months since we returned to our block and it took us 8 weeks to slow down. On the weekend we slowed down we enjoyed the first official Friday night catch up with our neighbours as the full moon rose. On Saturday we went out for brunch. No sport on Sunday morning meant a sleep in. I played handball with my boys for the first time ever in my life. Lamb shanks slow cooked on the wood heater. We squeezed in a late Sunday afternoon fishing trip. It took us 8 weeks to find some calm. We had forgotten how to do normal. I haven’t written for this blog since um wow December?! My leisure time since then has been extremely limited and when it occurred I prioritised my mental wellbeing and sleep.

This journey has brought me to the edge of my psychological and physical limitations. I watched my husband do a terminator style non stop renovation while trying also to commence a rebuild. His promises to take time off over Christmas dwindled to 2 days. There was so much to do. I helped with whatever jobs I was able to and then focussed on the household and occasionally, our boys. Midway through January this year we realised trying to work on both the renovation and the rebuild was insanity. The local real-estate market was booming. Post COVID, Sydney city dwellers realised they could put in a few days in the city then work from their coastal holiday pad the rest of the week. We decided to get our investment property, come bushfire haven, onto the market before the summer ended. We mapped out each remaining job and the days required to accomplish them. We calculated selling time, settlement time and remaining bank balance. What were need to do’s and what were optional extras. If everything went to plan, we could pay to get some work done at the block and make it habitable enough to move into. It was an extreme test of time, energy and resources.

It worked. We listed by the end of February, sold in three weeks and settled five weeks after settlement. I write that all in one glib sentence. Of course all of that only happened with considerable focus and effort. Life for the boys was hectic. 99% of their toys were packed and moved into storage weeks before the house went on the market. As the house neared completion we stressed about them damaging something. When the house was on the market we stressed about them getting things dirty - the walls, the windows or the cupboards. I banished them from the bathroom, they had to brush teeth in the laundry and shower outside. Luckily it was warm and didn’t rain much in those few weeks! Anyone who has sold a house while living in it knows how painful open homes are. The logistics and effort of cleaning and styling, while working full time from home, scheduling everything between work appointments, getting the dog out of the way and the boys to school, nearly broke me. Thankfully the selling process was short, but we packed a lot of opens into that time and by the end of it all, I had become a shouty, grouchy mum and wife. It was also a real highlight to hit menopause and bring some phenomenal hormonal energy into the mix. Phew.

Before we packed up and left I was lucky enough to have a week away with the boys. My fully wired self hit Melbs and my family gave me refuge and forgave my intensity. We managed some fun and the change of scenery was a big relief. Husband, however, stayed behind to work on the temporary shed home. Holiday behind me, I returned to packup and clean and polish the house for the financial return of our lives. Literally.

Can you then imagine our triumphant and spectacular return to our block bathed in happiness and light? Um well perhaps instead picture this - we arrived exhausted to an unpowered, work in progress temporary residence in the middle of a mice plague and endured 200ml of heavy rain in four days leaving us surrounded by mud. Happy to catch the rain in our tank? I wish! The new tank leaked 8000L the week before we moved, and only our neighbour’s spare tank loan meant we had any water at all. But being so small, it overflowed and made even more mud. The heavy rain was so loud on the tin roof it frequently woke the kids in the night (who then woke us), mice ran across the floor, huntsmen spiders dropped from the ceiling. With nowhere really to unpack things, cooking became like the biggest ever memory game, which box were the bowls in? Where did I pack the cutlery? The rain delayed our solar power install so for 10 days we lived out of an esky and by torchlight. We both kept working full time, getting the boys to school, after school sport commitments and then husband kept building after he got home and into the night. After a week of stress and chaos we knew something had to give, fortunately husband could take time off work to focus on our build and family life.

Fast forward to now. The financial pressure of the summer has eased. The temporary living quarters are functional and steadily improving. We have a beautiful wood heater. Our off grid solar system is powering us even during these short winter days. I have more kitchen cupboards than ever before, plus a dishwasher! I have hung up my clothes in a full wardrobe for the first time in nearly four years. The boys each have clean new wardrobes. Their separate rooms are still being built so they are in what will be our room which is insulated and wall paneled. We can cope with an outside shower and toilet. My husband is a legend.

What’s it like actually being back? I confess I was nervous about my own and the boys emotions. Eldest son is extremely happy to be back. Youngest son has taken time to adjust but that has more been due to his fear of the dark. The noises of the bush are unfamiliar and there are no streetlights out here! There has only been one time where a prebushfire memory overwhelmed me. Every person’s bushfire experience and recovery is unique. Unlike many others we are fortunate have the opportunity to not have to build on the exact footprint of the old place and I think this is psychologically helpful. It’s not the same space, and with some trees dead and gone the landscape is altered, its a slightly different perspective. The boys are older now, so our lifestyle is different too. Slowly we are finding a new rhythm on our land. The boys are absolutely loving being back on their bikes on bush tracks.

I was excited to resume my morning walks, although maybe not as excited the dog! He’s happy to have his off-lead roam again. But the first week of walking I found tough, the burnt and recovering state forest I traverse didn’t bring me the joy it used to. In the heavily logged areas where only isolated saplings were left unlogged, they couldn’t survive the heat of the fire or they didn’t have community trees to share nutrients through their roots to support recovery. The undergrowth is now the canopy and is booming with all the extra sunlight but when I look at it, all I see is fire hazard. Then as the weeks went by, my view softened, I recognise the bush is healing like me. I am appreciating small wonders of nature. A spider’s web highlighted with morning dew or the fascination of new plants thriving. There are trees that have fully recovered, others seem to be doing well, and there is much green in the landscape to enjoy.

On my morning walk I also see which animals are about in the night from what they leave behind. There is at least one very busy wombat! We see wallabies reasonably often and last week one morning I found big roo prints in the clay right near our place. We hear a boobook owl calling most nights and more frogs chirping croaking from the gully than I ever remember. Which now makes sense, we definitely were in drought for some years prior to the fires and the creek has this year been running for months. Less exciting is hearing foxes at night, my son especially dislikes their eerie calls. In daytime the bird life is altered. We are down to one lyrebird, there used to be two with adjacent territories battling loudly with their extraordinary mimicry. But at least there is one, how a ground bird survived I can’t imagine. The yellow robins aren’t around us now, we have wrens in the cleared spaces and in the lush shrubs busy brown gerygones dart and chirp. A shrike thrush has made a nest in our bushfire remains pile, her song is piercing and wonderful. Rarely are the yellow crested black cockatoos here now. This past weekend we did see two circling wedge tailed eagles the silent assassins of the sky wheeling high over the gully with that phenomenal wingspan.

Surprisingly my greatest source of happiness in these first few months being back has come from the sky. Unobstructed by buildings, the sky feels bigger in the bush. I’m loving the late winter sunrises. My very favourite time is just after the sun has risen when the horizontal sun rays set tops of the trees bright orange. Those are magical minutes of golden tinged trees. The sunsets. The stars. The moon. the sky has been a revelation and a source of happiness. Maybe because I’m spending more time outside I notice it more. Seeing glittering stars through the steam of a hot outdoor shower makes the cold walk inside completely worth it!

Slowly I am regaining my sense of gratitude for this place. The quiet. The privilege of not seeing another house. Having no curtains and that not mattering. Not worrying about noise and neighbours. Lack of street lights at night.

All of a sudden things aren’t hectic and we are settling in. It still amazes me after 6 moves in 5 years how intense moving is and then how imperceptibly things transition to not being new anymore. Normalcy sneaks up on me every time. Clearly this isn’t really normal but we’re enjoying this new start in our old place.

#treechange #seachange #nswbushfires #recovery #offgrid

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emisfritish · 5 years ago

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Our gift to the world - Episode 7

Summary: Episode codas of an established Pang/Wave in The Gifted Graduation. Episode 7- Aftermath of the fight between Pang and Wave, a discussion between two broken boys.

Notes : It has been... a while, to say the least. In my defense, I kind of needed to know what they had planned for these two for the rest of the season if I wanted to keep these stories as close to canon as possible, so here I am ! Working plan right now, is posting the stories for all remaining episodes this week so I can be up to date with the finale on Sunday, and write either a nice continuation, or a nice fix-it depending on what they give us ;)

This is set after the fight Pang/Wave have, but before Pang is called away to go and meet the director.

Previous parts : Ep.1 / Ep.2 / Ep.3 / Ep.4 / Ep.5 / Ep.6

Next parts : Ep.8

Series on Ao3 here.

As Pang is walking towards Wave’s dorm room, he feels the weight that’s been sitting on his shoulders for the past couple of weeks getting heavier and heavier the closer he is.

After losing Time, after Korn’s injury, after isolating himself from his friends and after his boyfriend refusing to talk to him… He didn’t think his life could get any worse than it had been for the past couple of weeks. Yet after the fight him and Wave had yesterday, he knows that his assumption was wrong. Of course things could get worse.

He’s not sure he’s ready to face Wave yet, after everything they told each other yesterday, but it is precisely because of their fight and of the things Wave told him, that he knows he needs to. Things between them have been a mess for weeks, but he knows he needs to see his boyfriend so they can start mending the pieces of their relationship.

As Pang is walking to the room, he rehearses the speech he’s prepared and everything he wants to tell his boyfriend. He’s not sure that Wave will want to see him, but hopefully the excuse about needing to recuperate one of his school books that’s been left in Wave’s dorm room for weeks now will be enough to get him through the door, at least.

Thinking about it, he can’t believe that things have actually come to that between them, with him needing an excuse to come and see his boyfriend. But well… He knows he’s partly to blame for the situation.

Although it’s true that Wave had given him the cold shoulder for the past couple of weeks by ignoring his texts and his calls, which they definitely need to talk about, Pang is aware he’s not blameless in their situation. Wave had ignored him, that much is true, but he hadn’t made any particular effort to actually try to talk to Wave face to face either, too lost in his sadness and anger at the other boy for ignoring him for so long.

After their fight yesterday and the things Wave had said… Well. Let’s just say Pang is only now starting to realize how much he’s actually hurt his boyfriend, and he hates it.

‘I can’t help but wonder if you think I’m your boyfriend, or just your tool.’

The words have been resonating in Pang’s mind since yesterday, and he can’t think of anything else. Is that what Wave truly believes ? How he truly sees them ?

He’s always hated everyone who’s hurt Wave in the past, who made him feel like he wasn’t enough, wasn’t loved. The people who are responsible for the trust issues that Wave still carries to this day. And now, Pang has somehow become of them, and the thought makes him sick.

When he finally reaches Wave’s dorm room, Pang has no idea what awaits him inside, but he knows he can’t simply let this go. Although he doesn’t think he can take another hit right now, not after everything that’s happened in the past couple of weeks… He can’t let Wave go longer believing those things about their relationship and what he means to him either. He needs to talk to his boyfriend.

Taking a deep breath to settle himself, Pang finally forces himself to knock on the door, before pushing it open when he hears Wave’s call to come in. He finds his boyfriend staring at him coldly from where he is seated at his desk, a carefully put-together blank expression covering his face.

He feels Wave’s eyes move along his shoulders and chest briefly, a look Pang doesn’t recognize flashing across his face as they do, before he carefully puts his nonchalant look back in place.

Frowning, Pang looks down at himself, before suddenly realizing what he’s wearing and what the look meant.

Wave’s red jacket.

He hasn’t done it on purpose, and it wasn’t a conscious move to try and sway Wave, or whatever thought might be crossing his boyfriend’s mind right now. It had just been a reflex to pull it on earlier, the jacket being his go to item when Pang wants to feel safer. He hadn’t even thought about what wearing it today could mean.

For the past couple of weeks, with everything falling apart around him, the jacket has brought a small amount of comfort, reminding him that even if Wave and him weren’t talking right now, he wasn’t alone in the world. That he had someone in his corner.

He wonders if that’s still the case.

Pang braces himself for Wave demanding the jacket back, half expecting it after the fight they had yesterday, but his boyfriend stays silent on the matter, prompting Pang’s small sigh of relief.

“What are you doing here ?” Wave finally asks coldly, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“I…” he starts answering, before completely losing track of everything he had planned to say while walking over to the room. “I forgot one of my school books in your room and I need it for class.”

Wave keeps staring at him silently, though Pang thinks he sees disappointment cross his face, although the look is gone too quickly for him to be certain about anything.

“It’s right there. You can take it and go,” Wave tells him, indicating where the book is laying on the desk with a short movement of his head, before he turns back towards his computer, completely ignoring Pang.

Pang feels his throat close up at how easily his boyfriend is dismissing him, causing hurt and anger to well up in his chest.

God, this can’t be it. They can’t be ending, not like this.

“Listen Wave…,” he starts saying, trying to recall everything he had meant to say to his boyfriend earlier. “I should have apologized to you earlier and made more of an effort to speak to you. I don’t see you as a to..”

“You should have,” his boyfriend states, cutting him off mid-sentence. “But frankly, we’re way past that point now Pang,” he finishes saying coldly, and Pang can’t stop the anger that the words ignite in him.

How is it so easy for Wave to dismiss him ? To dismiss them, and everything they’ve been through over the years ?

“So that’s it then ?” he asks bitterly, trying to hold back the words but not able to contain them with the anger swimming in his chest. “We had a fight and I messed up, and you’re just never going to talk to me again ? I said I was sorry, why can’t you believe me ?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say Pang,” his boyfriend responds coldly, not even turning towards him to say the words.

“I want you to talk to me ! I want you to try and fix this with me !” Pang anguishes, and although he sees his boyfriend’s shoulder tensing, he doesn’t turn around to look at him and keeps silent.

“Wave if you hate me this much, why did you even bother to help me that night ? Why did you come and comfort me instead of leaving me alone, if this is how you really feel ?” Pang asks, emotion making his voice crack and tears welling up in his eyes.

The words prompt his boyfriend to turn around and look at him in disbelief.

“Because I love you, stupid !” Wave shouts in answer, his mask of indifference finally falling, letting the hurt and anguish he’s feeling apparent for the first time since Pang entered the room. “Trust me, sometimes I think things would be a lot easier if I did hate you. But I love you. And right now, loving you hurts.”

The words cut deep, and Pang feels the tears that had been pooling in his eyes finally drop against his cheeks. If you had told him that hearing Wave say he loves him would one day cause him so much pain, Pang would have never believed it. Still, hearing the words his boyfriend rarely says out loud coming out of his mouth under those circumstances breaks his heart.

When Pang looks up towards Wave, he sees silent tears gather up in his eyes. The urge to move forward and comfort him is so strong, Pang crosses his arms against his chest to stop himself from reaching for him, knowing his touch wouldn’t be welcome right now.

“Wave,” he starts saying in a small voice, the depth of the hurt they’ve both caused each other with their fight becoming clearer.

“I just… I just can’t right now, Pang. I can’t talk about this. Not now,” Wave announces defeated, and Pang’s head drops, not able to look into Wave’s eyes right this moment.

He knows that he should give his boyfriend some space, knows Wave well enough to know that he needs time to process everything before they can mend this, but everything hurts right now, and he doesn’t know how to deal with the pain alone anymore.

“Wave… We love each other. Please don’t end this,” he says brokenly, the words barely a whisper, and he sees Wave’s hands twitch from where they are at his sides, like he himself is having trouble stopping himself from reaching forward to hold and comfort Pang.

“I’m not,” Wave says, a small wave of relief rushing through Pang before his boyfriend continues speaking. “But I can’t talk more tonight Pang. I love you but right now, I don’t really like you.”

Once again, the words cut deep and Pang feels his breath catch in his throat. He knows that Wave didn’t say it to hurt him, that his boyfriend is just being brutally honest as he usually is when conveying his feelings, and that somehow makes it worse. The words themselves hurt of course, but what hurts more is knowing that if Wave said them right now, it’s because he actually means them.

At this moment, he truly doesn’t like Pang, and that’s one of the worst feelings.

Defeated and recognizing that there is little chance of them going anywhere tonight, Pang finally nods in silence, before he turns around and makes his way to the door.

Just as he’s reaching for the doorknob, Wave calls his name and Pang stops in his tracks, turning around to face his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry about bringing up Nac and throwing him in your face yesterday,” Wave says, avoiding his eyes. “I know that’s not what happened with him, and it wasn’t fair of me.”

Wave still can’t look at him, and Pang feels tears well up in his eyes once again at that fact, but he shakes his head.

The comment about Nac had hurt, it’s true, but not as much as Wave telling him he thought Pang saw him as insignificant and as a tool to be used. And definitely nowhere near as much as the thought of him and Wave being done for good, which is what’s been running through his head since the beginning of this conversation.

“This isn’t the end, right Wave ?” he asks softly, feeling smaller than he has in years. Their relationship is such that Pang is often the one reassuring an insecure Wave, and for the first time, Pang understands what Wave must have felt all those times he feared Pang might be done with them. He hates the feeling.

Wave smiles at him sadly, finally looking up towards him, and Pang feels his heart clench in his chest.

“I think we both need some time to get our heads on straight. We’ll talk later,” his boyfriend finally responds.

It’s not an answer in itself and Pang is fully aware of it, but he doesn’t press the issue. He doesn’t think he could actually bear hearing Wave say that they’re done anyway, not on top of everything that’s happened in the past couple of weeks.

With one final nod, he reaches for the doorknob and leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind him, before he slides down on the floor, utterly defeated.

Small tears are running down his cheeks again, and Pang lifts one of his arms to wipe them away with the sleeve of his jacket, the burgundy red catching his eyes.

Wave hadn’t asked for his jacket back.

And just like that, the weight crushing Pang gets a tiny bit lighter.

They’re far from okay right now, and Pang knows that very well. But his boyfriend hadn’t asked him to return the jacket either, and knowing how important it is to Wave, that has to count for something.

It’s really not much, but it’s a sliver of hope that Pang can hold onto.

He doesn’t know what awaits him and Wave in the future, and he doesn’t know how they’ll fix this and get past everything, but the jacket is a small sign that Wave hasn’t given up on them either, and that’s all Pang needs right now.

The thought is enough for him to get up from the floor, and start walking back towards his own dorm.

Things are a mess right now and so many discussions will be needed to fix things and to repair the trust they have in each other, but Pang has to believe they’ll manage.

Him and Wave have always made the best team in everything, and he refuses to let go of that.

Not now, not ever.

#the gifted graduation #pangwave #pang x wave #pangwave fic #pangwave fanfic #tgg #the gifted graduation the series #yo it's been so long I'm really sorry guys #but I have all the rest planned out and hopefully I get them all out this week so we're on time for the finale #also this one is pure pain again #so my apologies about that but we're trying to stay close to canon here ><#so enjoy the angst !#emi's writing

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cilldaracailin · 5 years ago

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Killer Queen

Hello my Tumblr lovely’s!

Who is ready for some more! It’s a good one if I do say so myself! ;) Hope you all enjoy!

Suze xx

“One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.”

Robyn had left Taron just after four and it gave him some time to catch up with Lyndsey, quickly explaining to her about his little fan meet on the beach. While on the phone with him, his publicist did a quick scour of the usual social media outlets and as predicted the fan picture had appeared on social media but not received the backlash he thought it was going too and his posting of the Instagram picture had appeased most, though Lyndsey felt the need now to warn Taron that his visits to Ireland might not be completely media free as before, Taron’s whole body slumping onto the duvet in the tent as he listened, returning his answer with heated tones.

“I just need to give you the heads-up Taron, you know this. Don’t get crabby with me.”

“Sorry Lyndsey.”

“Look I know you want to protect her.”

“It’s more than that.” Interrupted Taron.

“And Robyn had proven herself very capable of dealing with the media Taron.”

“But it’s so different when it will involve her home.”

“And it won’t come to that and Taron, you know some reporters already have been at her home back in September and it was fine.”

Taron sighed heavily, rubbing his tired eyes. “Sorry Lyndsey.”

“Don’t be sorry. I know you love her and have this undeniable urge to defend her and watch over her but it’s not always possible Taron and at some point, you are going to have to accept that, especially if you keep inviting her to your events. It is going to get people talking as you bring her into the public eye more. If you want to protect her, you will have to leave her at home but if you want her by your side, now or in the future as something more, you will have to be ready to completely let her into your world.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry to me Taron.” Laughed Lyndsey. “Robyn has without a doubt gotten under your skin and believe me, I think the world of her and you know that.”

“I do.”

“Then trust me.”

“I do.”

Lyndsey smiled into the phone. She had worked with Taron for so long, she could read every emotion he was feeling from just the tone of his voice and his reactions and knew immediately he had a bad night’s sleep. “You are tired. I need to you to sleep tonight for me.”

“I will.”

“Taron…”

“I will Lyndsey and sorry again. It just rattled me. It’s not something I expected and wasn’t prepared for the photo.”

“And you dealt with it as you always do, with a cool and level head. You trust Robyn?”

“Of course.”

“Then let’s just wait and see Taron. Normally stuff like this either blows up or floats around before it dies out. I am sure the premier will have more of a reaction than anything and before you say it, sure your picture and visit to Ireland will more than likely be a question asked of you while on promotion but you know how to answer these questions Taron and you know I have left it up to you as to how you want to do so. Robyn is a firm fixture in your life and most people understand it is because she saved your life and you don’t have to make excuses for that Taron. You should never make excuses for that.”

Taron nodded to himself. “Thanks Lyndsey. Sometimes I forget that part.”

Lyndsey rolled her eyes. “Don’t give me that shit Taron. You can’t bullshit me.” She heard him laugh a little. “I want you to stop over thinking, go and enjoy Robyn’s show tonight and then sleep, as best you can and I will see you bright and early at the Radio One studio on Sunday.”

“Sure.”

“And get as many hugs in as you can and remember them because as far as I can tell, Robyn’s hugs are the only thing that can calm you down lately.”

Taron chuckled. “I will try.”

“See you Sunday.”

“Thank you Lyndsey. Sorry for bugging you.”

“You don’t bug me Taron. Frustrate me at times but I know for a fact you do that to all the women in your life.” At last she heard a genuine chuckle from him. “Go and enjoy your last few hours of freedom.”

Taron ended the call and let his arm fall away from his ear, his phone falling from his hand and onto the soft duvet. As always, he let his worries over take him and once again it was another woman calming his fears. With Lyndsey’s promise to further double check everything for him, he found himself breathing a little easier and putting the thoughts of the photo to the back of his mind. Instead he focused on the evening to come and another chance to watch Robyn on stage in her element and he was just a little excited to see her in her stage gear once more but his face frowned as he remembered all the kisses from the night before but Robyn had promised him it wouldn’t happen again.

“And I am not jealous.” He said turning his head to look at the two dinosaurs who still sat together inside the tent as he had left them earlier. They both grinned back at him. “I am not.”

But his beating heart and rise in body temperature said otherwise. Taron rolled over into his stomach and let a muffled scream out into the pillow, his anxiety about the photo, his upcoming tour and his love for Robyn causing emotions and feelings he was finding so hard to cope with. He reached for his phone and pressing number one on his speed dial, groaned once more into the pillow.

“Hello love.”

“Hey mam.”

“Taron, love what’s wrong?” Tina could immediately hear the deflation in her son’s voice.

“Mam I can’t do it anymore.”

“Do what love?”

“Robyn.”

Tina just about heard the whispered of the woman’s name who had wiggled her way into her son’s heart because his voice was laden with sadness. “Taron?” Tina listened to silence for a few seconds. “Taron, sweetheart?”

“It hurts too much to love her mam.” He turned his head sideways on the pillow. “Even more so because I can’t tell her because that fucker hurt her so badly she not only believes she doesn’t deserve to be loved but that it’s something that doesn’t exist and I can’t sit here anymore and not tell her that I love her because it is what she deserves and she needs to know that love is wonderful and thrilling and she is most definitely worthy of it and I want to be the one to love her. I need to be the one.”

“Ok Taron you need to slow down, stop speaking in riddles and start from the beginning.”

With a rush of words and long sentences, Taron burdened his mother with his worries and woes, once starting to speak, finding it hard to stop until he had managed to get everything off his chest, including the fact that he was actually very jealous of the stage kisses.

“Mam why are you laughing?”

“Taron this is what love is, what it does to you and I know you love her.”

“And you still stand by your advice of not telling her?”

“Yes.”

“Mam!” He groaned.

“Yes Taron I still do even more so after what that fucker as you call him did to her.”

“That was actually Robyn’s mam’s words, not mine.”

“I really need to get Robyn’s mam’s number. I would like to have a chat with her at some point.”

“Mam don’t change the subject.”

“You told me when you met Robyn, she wouldn’t let you in and it took a lot of trust for her to open up to you and it was a man who betrayed her trust Taron. The fact that she has let you in speaks volumes for how she feels about you.”

“I wish she would just tell me.”

“Women don’t think like men do.”

“Well I know that mam.”

“And I don’t just mean thinking with certain body parts.”

“Ugh mam seriously?”

“Well Taron you went into some detail about that kiss and a pair of short purple shorts so I am just returning with the information you have given me.”

“Maybe I should talk to Guy.”

“Taron, Robyn has been badly hurt in the past and I know you know that but because it was a man who did it, she will be very guarded when it comes to a new man in her life. She will be scared to let one in, to actually admit she loves one even if that one is you Taron. She won’t open her heart to someone for fear it will be broken again. A woman’s heart is a very delicate thing, especially a torn one.”

“Mam I know she loves me.”

“And I am sure she does but Robyn has to realise it for herself.”

“Her kiss made it pretty clear.”

“And that was a kiss from a bet. There is a difference I am sure between a kiss from a bet and a kiss she wants to give you of her own accord.”

“But it was a kiss.”

“Sweetheart, women are complicated.”

“You don’t need to tell me that.” Taron rolled over into his side. “I just don’t know how much longer I can wait to tell her.”

“As long as it takes Robyn to tell you. You want to protect her and show her that you love her than keep doing all the wonderful things you have been doing for her. She will come around Taron.”

“It’s so hard mam.”

Tina felt for her son. “Is she worth it?” She asked. “Is she worth the traveling and the tiredness and the longing that you have worth it for one hug, or one cuddle you get from her?”

“Of course.”

“Then you will wait Taron. I know you chose your career for your love of acting Taron and I don’t hold your choice against you and you know how proud me and your step-dad and your dad are of you but for a woman to step into your world, you are asking a lot. However, Robyn has taken it all in her stride and is joining you for your premier, one which will be filled with press from around the world, live TV coverage and more publicity than Robyn will have ever faced. I think it’s clear she loves you if she is willing to do that for you. Also, she cooked for you and baked. She definitely loves you Taron but please try and be patient with her. If you rush her, you could trigger some of those feelings of rejection she still has in the back her mind.”

“I don’t want that to happen.”

“Love is hard Taron. No one said it was easy.”

Taron sighed. “If it was easy it wouldn’t be real.”

“Unfortunately, that’s true. Just keep doing what you are doing love. Robyn has a beautiful heart and you know I adore her and how she looks after you but you keep doing these little things for her and soon, she will come to her senses.”

“How long…”

“As long as it takes her Taron.”

“Thanks mam.”

“Anytime love. You are not going to blurt it out this evening?”

“No mam.”

“Even after you see her dressed in leather.”

“Mam!” Taron’s scoff turned to a light laughter. “Though I have seen her in a towel.”

“Taron David Egerton!”

Taron chuckled at his mam’s scolding. “And she has seen me in one too.”

“Taron!”

“I love you mam.”

“Yeah and I love you. Be gentle with her heart ok? Like I said, it’s been torn before and still a bit brittle.”

“I will mam.”

“Taron, I truly believe you can heal it for her. Just give her the time to figure that out.”

“Thank you mam.”

“Ring me tomorrow when you get back to your flat ok?”

“I will do.”

“And tell Robyn I said hello.”

“I will.”

With a heavy sigh, Taron dropped his phone onto the pillow in front of his face. He trusted his mam’s advice and judgement more than anyone’s and although it was not what he wanted to hear; he knew she was right. Robyn had been treated horribly before and he knew himself she was guarded but when it came down to him, he also knew she trusted him and he would do nothing to break that trust but taking his mam’s guidance, he knew but hated that he would have to wait for Robyn to figure out that she loved him as much as he loved her.

After a nap, he hadn’t realised he had taken until he woke up, Taron quickly showered and changed, pulling his black hat onto his head again and made the quick ten-minute walk to the hall with five minutes to spare before the performance started. Robyn’s little head massage had helped to ease a niggling headache he had felt earlier, knowing it was from lack of sleep but the two paracetamol he had routed out from her drawer had lifted it completely and as he sat on the inside edge of the row four, he kept his hat on his head and his eyes on the programme, one that he bought from Jane on the way into the hall, ignoring the smirk on her face.

With his closeness to the stage and his second time watching the show, he noticed things he hadn’t before, including how tight Robyn’s stage outfits actually were and her facial expressions as she sang and danced and the wink she definitely threw his way before she slid down the fire pole and he chuckled as she smoothly slid down the pole with ease and grace.

The other thing he definitely noticed was the stage kiss between Robyn and Cathal just before the first act ended and he was sitting up in his chair, the programme twisted in his hands again as Cathal grabbed Robyn by her hips and pulled her tight against him and kissed her hard. What upset Taron the most was that he could see Robyn place her hands on her co-stars chest to push him away from her and the flicker of anger in her eyes before she put her arms around him and turned them around so her back was to the audience, Cathal’s face going straight into her neck. Taron glared at him, hearing his teeth grind and a very quiet growl come from deep within him. Robyn had told him that she had spoken to Cathal and he had been warned not to kiss or touch her and he had clearly leaped over boundaries once again and Taron was fuming as he sat, putting his hat back on his head as the house lights came back on.

He saw Jane walking towards him, selling raffle tickets and he motioned towards her.

“Hey you.”

“Is there any way I can talk to Robyn?” He asked quickly trying to keep his voice steady.

“To Robyn?” Jane asked.

“Yeah. Any chance?”

“Well I am not too sure. The cast have about fifteen minutes to catch their breath and change before they are back on stage.”

“Please Jane.”

She looked to him and sighed. “Come with me.”

Taron stood up and dropped his programme on the chair and followed Jane out through the main doors of the hall and around the front of the building and then through a side gate. They walked down a narrow pathway and out into a very small open garden with a picnic bench on which Robyn was sitting her head in her hands. Taron mouthed thank you to Jane and quickly walked over to stand in front of Robyn.

“You need a squishy hug?”

Robyn looked up in surprise to see Taron standing in front of her and without a word, jumped down from the picnic table and into his open arms, snuggling deep into his warmth, feeling his arms hug her tightly.

Before the show started and once she was dressed and ready to go, she had spoken to Cathal about the stage kisses and he assured her he wouldn’t try anything but he broke his promise just before the first act ended and their kiss after their duet was hard and fast and horribly wet and Robyn had tried to push Cathal away but he only pulled her disgustingly firm against him but somehow she managed to break their kiss, push him on his chest hard and turned their closeness into a hug, Cathal’s face immediately going straight to her neck, into where Taron always nestled his face so closely and Cathal’s hot breathe on her neck made her skin crawl and a cold shiver run right through her.

Once the stage went dark, Robyn shoved Cathal away from her, lifted her knee and aimed hard for his crotch before she ran down the steps ignoring all her cast mates who called her name and stormed outside, taking to pacing up and down the small garden before taking a seat on the picnic bench, her head in her hands. She was thoroughly frustrated. She hated being taken advantage of and had already been in a position like that with Keith and she had worked so hard to get over him and how he treated her and she could slowly feel her insecurities creeping back in as Cathal made her feel as small as a mouse. Keith often used his physical strength against her and Cathal was doing the same and Robyn hated feeling not in control.

She was running shaking hands down her face when Taron’s voice filled her ear and there he was standing in front of her, his arms open for a hug and she didn’t need to be asked twice if she wanted a hug. She was desperate for comfort that only Taron could give her and he did it with his wonderfully strong arms, warm chest and beating heart.

“Breath darling.” Taron whispered into her curly hair. “Take a breath.”

“I am going to murder someone by the end of tonight.”

Taron chuckled into her hair. “I don’t doubt that for a second.”

Robyn snuggled more into his shoulder and allowed herself to sink into him, feeling his hands rub up and down her back, the material of the cropped top moving so eventually his hands met with the heated skin of her back. He rested his hands flat on her lower back, his thumbs grazing softly back and forth over the dip in her skin above her skirt.

“Hey Robyn, we need to get that costume change going. Oh sorry!” Dee had walked out to once again locate one of the female leads of the musical to get her ready for the second act but she was wrapped up in a cosy looking cuddle in the arms of man who had appeared from nowhere. “I will give you a second.”

“Thanks Dee. I will be there in two.”

Robyn ran her hands in circles around Taron’s back before gripping his long sleeved stripped t-shirt in her hands. “Thank you.” She murmured into his t-shirt.

“You ok?”

“Not really.” Robyn felt how Taron’s whole body froze for the briefest second before he resumed his back rub for her. “But I will be.”

“I am going to have a word with him.”

Robyn pulled herself from Taron immediately but her hands were still wrapped around his back. “No you won’t.”

“Robyn he cannot fucking do that do you. It’s disgusting and almost harassment and I won’t have anybody do that to you.”

“True but you won’t go near Cathal.”

“Robyn…”

She placed her hands on his cheeks. “He is already going to find it hard to walk straight for a while. He doesn’t need any words.”

Taron grinned under her hands. “Stiletto?”

“Knee.”

Taron winced but moved to place a soothing kiss on her head. “Good girl.”

“I told him yesterday it was going to happen if he tried to kiss me again.” She felt her hands being taken, as Taron took them from his cheeks. “You can understand somewhat because like me you still get flashbacks of Florida but sometimes I get some from Keith and unfortunately unwanted kisses are part of them.”

“Robyn…”

“Not ours.” She confirmed immediately. “But the force of what Cathal does is uncomfortable and unprofessional.”

The Welshman immediately engulfed her in another hug, desperately wanting to show Robyn what a kiss should be but her little confession only further confirmed his talk with his mam earlier and Robyn was definitely more than a little brittle and now was not the time for a kiss so instead he hugged her so close to him.

“Thank you Taron.”

“I am always here for you Robyn. Always.” He was trying so hard to keep his cool, knowing the arsehole who was taking advantage of her was only a few footsteps away and while on the outside he was showing himself to cool and composed, inside he was seething.

“Ahem.”

Both turned to see Dee once more standing at the door.

“I am really sorry Robyn but we only have five minutes. I really need to get you changed.”

“I am coming Dee.”

Robyn let Taron go and took in his concerned eyes which were frantically searching hers. She lifted her hands and fixed his hat so it sat straight on his head. “I will be fine. I always am.” She assured him, moving forward to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. My knight in shining white and navy stripes and a black hat.” She half smiled. “Go and enjoy the rest of the show.”

“That bastard better not touch you.”

“Well he has to…”

“Out of script I mean.”

“Don’t charge the stage Taron.”

Her words made him grin a little. “He tries anything and you may have a new cast member.”

“Robyn!”

“I had better go.”

“I will wait for you at the end of the show.”

“You had better.”

Robyn turned away from him and walked quickly back into the backstage area and through the curtain for the female dressing area.

“You have three minutes.” Dee said holding a make-up brush while Laura was beside her with a hairbrush. “And he is beautiful.” Robyn didn’t answer her as she sat in the chair but she whole heartedly agreed with the make-up artist but Taron was more than beautiful. He was perfect. “Might need to hold off on the blush for the second act.”

“That was some hug Robyn. You get them often?” Asked Laura as she stood behind her and quickly fixed her hair.

“How did you see the hug?” Robyn asked her with her eyes closed as Dee topped up her eye shadow.

“We all saw it.”

“You all peaked out the door?”

“Naturally.”

“Jesus.”

“And we are all a little jealous of it.”

“He gives good hugs.” Robyn confirmed. “Everyone saw it then?”

“Everyone but Cathal and Jude.” Replied Laura.

“Jude is livid.” Dee explained as she fixed some smudged eye liner. “Pulled Cathal outside the hall to talk to him.”

“Steve would be stepping in if he was able.”

“Just my luck that he happened to break his hand.” Sighed Robyn.

“Your male friend, that’s Taron right?” Asked Laura as she sprayed Robyn’s hair, seeing the curls bounce as Robyn nodded. “He’s something else.”

“Yeah he is.”

“Ladies, we nearly done? We have about thirty seconds.” They heard Jude call in through the curtain.

“Go and get changed.” Said Dee as she let Robyn up from the chair. “And hey, Cathal really struggled into his leathers. We watched.”

Robyn moved over to the clothes rail and quickly stripped down and pulled on her dress for the opening scene of the second act, making sure it was straight, her heart racing. She had never known a man like Taron before who knew her so well, who knew what she needed and she desperately needed the hug and it seemed he did too and she also knew he was mad. She could see it in him even though he tried his best to keep his anger in, she could feel the tension in his body and she had never felt protected and loved more than right there and then.

“You have about five seconds to get on stage. Just go from stage left.” Jude met her as she came out from around the curtain. “I am sorry I can’t replace him Robyn.”

“It’s ok.” She said as she walked past him and to the side of the stage.

“No it’s not. I have spoken to him and he knows.”

“We haven’t a chance of the AIMs award.”

“We have every chance. Now go and kill it like you always do.”

Robyn nodded, her eyes going to Taron as he sat back in his seat. She had been able to see him the whole show and when she thought it would have made her nervous, it was the opposite and knowing he was there only made her want to perform perfectly and hit every note and give the best performance she could managed because Taron had travelled to see her and support her. With a long breathe she skipped on stage a little later than normal, turning her focus on being Mimi, looking Cathal in his eyes, showing him that she was not taking any of his shit.

As Taron sat back in his seat, he was still furious and once more the programme was twisted in hands. He was so glad he had been able to see Robyn in between the two acts, thankful he could be there to give her some comfort but he was pissed off and his anger stull bubbled under his skin, even more so when he learnt that Keith had taken advantage of Robyn through one of the most intimate gestures a man can get from a woman. A kiss.

“Fucker.” He muttered under his breath as the house lights dimmed and the music for the second act started to play. Robyn took the stage a little later than the night before, going straight into her song and Taron could see her standing straight and keeping directly in character with Cathal. He didn’t understand how she could do it but like he was a professional actor knowing where his responsibilities lay so did Robyn and she showed that by her perfect performance.

He was on his feet cheering and wolf-whistling before anyone else in the hall and he didn’t care. It was what he had wanted to do last night but because he was keeping a low profile, he couldn’t but now that Robyn knew he was here, once the house lights went up before the cast took their bow and sang their final song, he was clapping hard. His standing ovation spurred everyone else in the hall to get to their feet too and when Robyn ran on stage to take her bow, Taron whooped and called even louder, seeing her laugh at him and she blew him a kiss and gave a curtesy.

He freely sang along as the cast took an encore of Seasons of Love and applauded until they had all left the stage. He side stepped from his chair, into the walkway to let the people sitting the row he was in to get out before he sat back in his seat. He was even more proud of Robyn compared to last night and as he sat on his chair, his joy for Robyn turned a little sad as he thought about how this time tomorrow, he would be back in London and up to his eyes in work. His flight was early the next morning and Robyn had promised to bring him to the airport as she always did but he wasn’t really looking forward to it. He never did enjoy saying goodbye but this weekend had been so special for him because he had been the one to spoil and treat Robyn and he loved doing it for her. He was so thankful it wouldn’t be another eight weeks or so before he saw her again, only two weeks until they hopefully would see each other for dinner in Paris.

“So, was it better the second time round?”

Jane walking over to him broke his thoughts. “Absolutely. Thank you again for getting me to her.”

“You are more than welcome.”

“Guess I really owe you that signed photo now.” He smiled as Jane blushed.

“Robyn told you about that then?”

“She tells me things.”

“I am sure she does.” Jane nodded. “It was nice to see you again Taron and that little smile. Good luck with your tour.”

“Thanks Jane.”

“I’d imagine she will be out quicker tonight. You can go and wait at the curtain if you want.”

“I think I will do that.”

Taron got to his feet, slipped on his coat and made his way over to where the curtain separated front of house from backstage and stood waiting patiently for Robyn to come out. He was looking forward to going back to hers, letting her shower and although he didn’t have any more surprises for her, he just wanted to give her the longest cuddle as they lay in the tent.

“I told you I have nothing to say to you. Just piss off Cathal.”

On hearing her heated tones, Taron ignored the shouts of entry refusal from the people at the curtain and barged straight through the black material into the private backstage area of the cast members, seeing Robyn and Cathal in a stand-off, some space between them. He briskly walked to Robyn and stood in front her, his back right against her chest.

“She said piss off, loud and clear.”

Robyn was more than relieved that Cathal had played the part of Roger as he was supposed to play it during the second act and didn’t even attempt to try anything and any kisses they shared were simple stage kisses and nothing more. Once their final bow was taken, she was the first off stage and into the dressing area, pulling her tattered dress over her head and hanging it on the hanger before she pulled on her jeans and Taron’s Hawaiian shirt. She had worn it to rehearsal, needing to feel a comfort and security from having a piece of him with her and after she had buttoned the middle buttons, tied the bottom ends of the shirt in a knot, so it sat on the waistband of her jeans. She was more than ready to say goodnight and go home, shower and change into her wonderful cosy dolphin PJ’s and another piece of Taron’s clothing, sit in her tent and eat the cupcakes Taron brought her yesterday and just be in her own home with him. As she grabbed her bag and coat, she said a quick goodnight to her other cast mates and director and made her way towards the curtain but she was stopped by Cathal who pulled on her hand, Robyn dropping it like it was a hot coal.

She was about to tell him to leave her alone again when Taron suddenly appeared and stood in front of her, saying it for her, his arms moving out a little so Robyn couldn’t get by him.

“I just wanted to talk to her.” Cathal frowned at the presence of the new man in front of him, blocking his view of Robyn from him.

“I don’t think she has anything she wants to say to you.” Taron replied, trying to keep his temper at bay.

“Look I just want to apologise to her.”

“And I really don’t think it’s good enough.”

“Taron…” Robyn placed her hand on his right wrist.

“You really have nothing to do with this.” Cathal said as he took a step closer to Taron. “You are not her boyfriend.”

“And neither are you.” The Welshman returned. “But I am a man who has respect for women and you clearly don’t. Touch her again and…”

“And what? Is that a threat?”

Taron laughed. “No mate, I don’t need to threaten you. Not when Robyn can do that all her own. How’s the prince jewels feeling?” He asked with a half grin. “Lucky it wasn’t her heel that made its mark.”

There was a titter of giggles from around the cast members as they stood watching the confrontation.

“I don’t need to be her boyfriend to show her respect. It’s what a man does but clearly you are not a man but a boy, taking advantage of a situation because you know otherwise you have no chance. She is much too good for you anyway.”

Taron had learnt his lesson from New Year’s Eve and with the training from Kingsman still fresh in his mind not too mention that still bubbling anger, he quickly dodged the oncoming punch that made its way to him, grabbing Robyn and pulling him with her as he side stepped to the right, Cathal falling over onto the floor in heap as he over balanced when his fist met with blank air.

“You never stood a chance. Tosspot. You ready to go Robyn?”

“Definitely.”

Robyn said a quick goodbye to her friends, not even apologising for Taron’s sudden appearance and keeping his hand in hers, led him out from the backstage area and out of the hall into the fresh night air.

“You are really following through with this knight in shining armour thing, aren’t you?” She asked him.

“I heard you tell him to piss off and I kinda saw red. I wasn’t going to let him even speak to you after what he did earlier and we are going the wrong way.” Taron turned his head as Robyn led him away from the bridge that brought them towards her house.

“I feel like a spice bag.”

“What on earth is a spice bag?”

#Taron Egerton #Taron Egerton Fanfiction #Taron Egerton Fanfic #Taron Fanfic #Love #Friendship #Emotions #Protection #Knight in Shining Armour #Cuddles and Hugs #Musicals #Kisses #Anger #Robyn and Taron

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everwitch-magiks · 5 years ago

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dance with somebody (ch. 5)

(ch. 1) (ch. 2) (ch. 3) (ch. 4)

Whiskey takes the stairs two steps at a time.

His heart is racing as he turns the corner, immediately heading for his own room. He barely registers passing by a vaguely curious Hops as he practically runs the last few steps. As soon as he's made it inside, he closes the door firmly behind himself and then locks it.

Whiskey's pulse is frighteningly close to a level that's comparable to mid-game in the playoffs, when the call finally connects.

“... Connor?”

Whiskey tries to take a breath – not even a deep breath, for fucks sake, if he could just fucking breathe at all-

“Beth. Hey.”

For some reason, Bethany Whisk almost laughs.

“For someone who did not just come out to our entire extended family, you sure sound like shit, Connor.”

Whiskey let’s himself sink down onto his bed, his head in his hands.

“What, uh. When’d you… How bad is it?”

The text hadn’t exactly clarified much. just outed myself to my parents and yours, over sunday dinner. everything a lil yikes. thought u should know

“Pretty bad.” Beth’s voice is strangely calm. “Although actually, not quite the worst case scenario? But close, yeah. Real close.”

“Shit,” Whiskey mutters.

“Yeah. My dad’s gone off somewhere – he sort of just got up and left, pretty soon after I’d said it? So that’ll be lots of fun when he gets back. Mom’s a lot calmer, comparatively. Said she needs to think. Which I’ve classified as ambiguous, but not completely hopeless.”

“What about…” Whiskey begins, his tone hoarse, and then he doesn’t finish the sentence.

He can’t finish the sentence.

“Oh, your folks weren’t too bad.” Beth pauses for a moment, as if to think. “I got the feeling they weren’t really angry – it was more like pity, I guess? Which wasn’t super fun either, gotta admit that. Your mom said it’s so sad I’ll never have children, and so of course I had to deliver the news that many lesbian women have plenty of kids, and then she looked, like, super confused. I’m so fucking relieved she stopped asking questions, after that.”

Whiskey gets up, only to sit back down again. He’s trembling all over. It’s almost like he can feel the way his whole world has just shifted, like there’s an actual, physical change between right now and five minutes ago.

"Are you… D'you need anything? What can I do?"

"Oh, Connor." Beth's tone is uncharacteristically soft. "You know, I pretty much knew I’d never have to worry about your reaction. Because actually, I have a feeling you get it – like, really get it. Don’t you?”

Whiskey freezes.

"Considering your hockey team," Beth continues, completely oblivious. "Your captain is the first out something, isn’t he? Which is so cool, by the way, even though I don’t give many fucks about hockey.”

It takes Whiskey a moment to find his voice again.

"First out NCAA men’s hockey captain,” he rattles off, and it’s lucky that’s something he could quote in his sleep, or he’d get the words all mixed up. “Yeah, uh. That was Bitty. He graduated this spring. But our captain this year – Dex – is actually dating his defence partner, so.”

"Defence what now?"

"Another player on our team."

“Wow,” Beth says, and there’s something not unlike wonder in her tone. “I guess it’s all true, those things they say about Samwell.”

“Yeah,” Whiskey returns unsteadily. “You have no idea, Beth.”

Beth is quiet for a moment.

“So I’m flying back tomorrow,” she says, and for some reason her voice sounds a little different from before – more determined. “You know, Samwell is less than a four hour drive from Columbia.”

“Is that so.”

“It is. We could, y’know. Hang out sometime? Anyway, you should meet Melanie.”

“... Oh,” Whiskey says, and it’s like he has to pause and process all over again. “Melanie. Huh.”

“You’ll like Mel,” Beth says eagerly. “And I could meet your team, maybe? That’d be fun.”

“That would be fun,” Whiskey says after a beat – it surprises him, that he actually, genuinely means it. He’s missed Beth. “Yeah. We should do that.”

“See, this is why you’re my favourite cousin.” Beth sounds extremely pleased. “Josh and Amy haven’t even returned my texts, yet.”

“To be fair, they kind of always sucked.”

“You speak the truth, my friend. Nothing but the truth.”

“Seriously, though,” Whiskey says. “If you, like, need anything? Anything at all? Let me know. We’ll figure it out.”

“Thank you.” Beth’s tone is warm. “I think I’ll be fine. Like I said, I’m flying back tomorrow, and once I’m back at school there’s not much mom and dad can do, even if they try. I’m on a full scholarship, plus I’ve already got a paid internship lined up for next summer, so I’m basically financially independent at this point. And I’ve made some really amazing friends at Columbia. They’ll help me out.”

“They’ve got your back?”

“Definitely.”

“Okay. Good.”

“So,” Beth continues, her tone for some reason a bit sly. “Your mom told me you’re back together with that girl from Phoenix? That was right before I dropped the big lesbian bomb on everyone, so I didn’t get to ask her, like, anything.”

“... Yeah,” Whiskey confirms uneasily. “We got back together during spring break last semester, yeah.”

“That’s nice.”

“I guess.”

“You guess? Don’t you know?”

“I mean, I don’t see her a lot,” Whiskey tries.

Beth hums. “Long distance, huh. That’s tough.”

“No, that’s not…” Whiskey draws a shaky breath. It’s so much easier to lie to everyone else. “Beth. Can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything, C.”

“Right.” Whiskey tries to keep his voice steady. “Just, can you promise me to… To pretend like I didn’t actually tell you? To just never bring it up again. Ever.”

“I mean, sure.” Beth’s tone is kind, if a little surprised. “If that’s what you want, sure.”

Whiskey closes his eyes, and breathes in.

“I slept with a guy.”

For a moment, Beth is quiet.

“All right,” she says gently. “You know that’s not the end of the world, right?”

“No, I guess.” Whiskey’s voice is shaking. “I’m just… I don’t know.”

Beth hums. “You want to do it again?”

“We uh, we did.” Whiskey clears his throat. “A few times. Last semester.”

“Hold up,” Beth says, her tone startled. “You’ve been sleeping with a guy? Frequently?”

“Not since last semester,” Whiskey reminds her quickly. “But, uh, yeah. For a while there it was every now and then.”

Beth is quiet for a moment.

“Is this the part where I smoothly change the subject and we never speak of this again? Because I’m, like, dying to get all the details.”

Whiskey almost smiles.

Somehow, breathing feels a little easier than before.

“He’s on the lacrosse team,” he supplies, surprising himself.

“Athletic,” Beth concludes, her tone giddy. “Fit? Hot?”

“Really fit,” Whiskey admits. “And like, tall?”

“Fucking get it, Connor!” Beth laughs. “But you’re not seeing each other, anymore?”

“I’m back together with my girlfriend,” Whiskey reminds her tersely. “And me and that guy weren’t ever officially anything.”

“Right,” Beth agrees easily. “Still. Glad to hear you’re getting the full Samwell experience.”

“You could say that.” Whiskey sighs. “I just. I’m not sure… I don’t think I can ever do what you just did.”

“Okay,” Beth says gently. “Do you have to, though?”

“I mean, eventually,” Whiskey tells her uneasily. “Right? People come out, eventually.”

“Not everyone does. Some people don’t.”

Whiskey blinks.

“There’s really a lot more to being gay than coming out,” Beth continues. “I would know.”

“I’m not gay,” Whiskey says reflexively – and really, he isn’t. Not strictly.

“No labels, then? Cool, cool." There's warmth in Beth's voice as she continues. "You'll figure all of this out, Connor. I'm sure you will."

"You're not the first person to tell me that."

"Let's hope I won't be the last," Beth says brightly. "So. How many people know?"

"Noone," Whiskey says quickly – too quickly. "Well, you know now. Bitty found out accidentally, and I almost told Dex. Plus I guess that guy I was with has a hunch."

"Right," Beth says, and there's no judgement in her tone. "So when we come to see you, this conversation never happened. Obviously, I'm not telling Melanie."

"Yeah," Whiskey agrees. "Thank you. Thank you so much, Beth."

"No problem. And on that happy subject, when’s a good weekend for me and Mel to drive up for some Samwell shenanigans?”

“I can send you our game schedule," Whiskey suggests.

“Connor, you know I love you, but please tell me you don’t expect me to sit through an entire game of sports.”

“I mostly meant so you’ll know when we have away games,” Whiskey says, and to his own surprise he’s grinning slightly. “You know, so that I’m not in fucking New Jersey when you show up here.”

“Okay, fair point.” Beth pauses. “By the way. Are you any good?”

“What, at hockey?”

“No, at table tennis.” The eye-roll is near audible.

“I am,” Whiskey says. “Good, I mean. I’m the top scorer on our team.”

“Well, that’s only good if the team is.”

“You know, maybe you guys should actually drive up for a game weekend,” Whiskey tells her. “It’s really not a complete Samwell experience without a proper post-game kegster.”

“A what now?”

“A party, Beth. A huge party. At the hockey frat.”

“See, now you’re talking,” Beth says excitedly. “Hey. Mind if I bring some friends?”

(ch. 6)

#check please #omgcheckplease #omgcp #checkpleasespoilers #connor whisk #OC: Bethany Whisk #dance with somebody #at it with the angst again #a bit lighter than the last part #hopeful #mentions of parents not reacting well to their kid coming out #evie writes #fanfiction

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twdmusicboxmystery · 5 years ago

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TWD Preview Show

Hey everyone! So, on Sunday, we had the TWD preview show, which covered TWD, FTWD, and TWB. I watched it, hoping to pick up some TD tidbits. First off, I’ll say that there was nothing huge. There were a few minor comments that I side-eyed, and they’re worth mentioning, but nothing huge (or obviously I would have posted it right away. ;D)

But, as usual, some of my theorists picked up stuff I didn’t. Check out our observations and conversations below.

@wdway: One of the things I did go away with is there will be more characters along with Daryl and Carol in the spinoff, they're just not willing to tell us yet. I know people are always complaining and I've already heard the thing about, well we know Carol and Daryl come out of the series alive, thanks for ruining that for us. Like anyone thought they would actually die in the series.

The letters from Scott were a bit interesting especially the second one. There's going to be some very personal character stories end the 6 episodes it sounds like, that part wasn't really a shocker but it's nice to hear it.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I only wrote down a handful of things. And they weren’t really the “main” things being discussed. More like side or afterthoughts that the various people said.

1) Did you catch what Lenny James said about where he was when he heard the news about TWD ending? He said he was in Atlanta with Pollyanna and the guy that played Jared. Now, Jared is deceased, so if he were filming anything, it would have to be a flashback or dream sequence. But given how big a part of Morgan’s our key was, that doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility to me. But it was interesting that he said he was with Pollyanna. If Lenny and Pollyanna were filming together, that suggests that Morgan and Jadis will come face-to-face at some point. The helicopter group?

And no, he didn’t actually say they were filming. But he said they were “doing a thing,“ and he obviously didn’t want to see what it was. I mean, if they were just having dinner together as friends, why wouldn’t he just say that. So it seem to me, like maybe they were filming or doing some sort of project he couldn’t talk about.

2) When Lenny James said that he almost revealed a spoiler, Chris Hardwick said something along the lines of, “it’s always on the tip of your brain. Like, don’t see the spoiler, don’t see the spoiler.”

It just jumped out at me because Chris Hardwick likes to say he doesn’t know any spoilers. That kind of proves that he does.

3) The show Runner for TWB has been a writer on the show since season four and is close with Angela Kang. I thought that was interesting, given how much she’s worked on Bethyl episodes and that Bethyl really, for all intents and purposes, began in season four. He talked about Jade us, the three ring symbol, and a helicopter people. He also said that what happens in the world beyond will be tied heavily to the mythology of the main show. Now, first and foremost, I think that means the helicopters, which we know I’ve been around in the background since season one. But that could be a tie to Beth and Grady as well.

4) they also said the anthology spinoff or feature both old characters and new ones. Not sure what to make of that, but I wonder if “new“ stories might tie into the helicopter group and Beth in some way.

5) Some suspicious things Lauren said. They were joking around she said what if Maggie returns, and she doesn’t like kids or dogs, doesn’t speak anymore, or has no face. I get that they were making a joke, but she managed to reference dogs, Whisperers, and “speak no evil” all in the same sentence. No idea if I should be reading into that but it jumped out at me.

6) Finally, they said that the Carol and Daryl spinoff will be about discovery. Naturally, my TD brain went, “discovery about where Beth is?” 😝

So yeah, that’s all I got.

@wdway

The showrunner for The World Beyond, has written quite a few episodes, co-written some I'm wanting to say Beth kind of hints, I'll try to check that out tomorrow. Years ago I had made a list of episodes and their writers directors it's in one of my folders. Do you think Scott's comment is the new title of the spin-off I believe it was, The Walking Dead Lives. When I heard it that's the thought I had.

I haven't really re-watched yet, I wanted to give you a list of some of the episodes that are definitely full of Beth feels that were written by Matthew Negrete.

Inmates- cowritten with Channing Powell.

Slabtown- also cowritten with Channing Powell.

Consumed- cowritten with Corey Reed.

Knots Untie- cowritten with Channing Powell.

Twice as Far- no cowriter. This is the episode where Denise is killed.

The Well- no cowriter. This one of course is the introduction of the king and the kingdom, there is an awful lot of Beth feels in it, like the little drawing on the wall of a blonde girl with a ponytail running.

Hearts Still Beating- cowritten with Channing Powell. This episode is the one worh the houseboat. So many Beth feels. Of course we first see the hint of the hipsters/junkyard group.

These are not all the episodes Matthew Neggrete has written for TWD, these highlight the ones I feel are very Beth oriented. And I guess what I'm saying is it's obvious that The World Beyond, showrunner is very in the know about the storyline regarding Beth. If by some chance tptb plan on hunting at or revealing Beth through this series than they are definitely in good Bethyl hands.

(This is probably the Big Cheese takeaway!)

@wdway

The World Beyond hasn't even premiered yet and they have already put in the rule book what makes a good head shot. The Walking Dead universe now has a diagram visual where to place a bullet or the area of the head to aim for in order that a person would not come back as a Walker.

Follow the (yellow) lines to the center showing where your gun shot target would be. I love this little piece of information. This is a still shot from last night's Premiere preview. There was no live action preview for this scene, this is just the still shot obviously from the series. Note, no little yellow line goes to the top forehead in this diagram. A person with a shot that was at the forehead would not come back as a walker someone like Beth.

Yeah, I totally missed that while watching, and that’s super-awesome. Probably my favorite thing about this special.

So yeah. That’s what we found. I hope you found it encouraging! ;D

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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lalahbug · 5 years ago

Text

Dual Fate - France x F!Reader

Fandom: Hetalia Word Count: 2,164

My Masterlist

Warnings/disclaim: general Angst if you choose the sad ending

Author’s Note: Originally posted on DeviantArt, under the same username, on 11/05/2013, different endings were posted on 11/06/2016. Word count includes main story and both endings. Revamped/edited in 2020.

To make it not as much as a hassle with posting, both endings are just here. You can read both or just one. Pick your poison.

___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person

Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting.

Story under cut

He spotted her running from the taxi as the rain poured down making him smile. ___ entered her favorite café, his café. Francis took a deep breath and tied back his hair the way she likes it. Today was the day Francis was going to tell ___ he loves her. He had to get to know her better, even if it meant rejection. He had her usual breakfast ready.

Every time he tried to ask ___ out, she'd get an excuse and leave. He asked around to figure out why. The reason being that she’s never had a boyfriend and knows Francis is a player and doesn't wait to get played. For the past 6 months, Francis stopped seeing all his normal hookups, stopped going to clubs, and mainly focused on her. All in hopes to get a chance just to date her.

He watched her unhappy face turn into a smile from the smell of the café. The smell of bread, eggs, chocolate, coffee, and fresh pastries.

"Morning Francis,” she smiled at him, as she put her stuff down at her normal table. His butterflies started to whirl. Her soft plump lips curved to show her dimples and her eyes slightly crinkled from the true smile. He stood there like an idiot with a dreamy smile. "Hello, Francis?" She giggled and poked his cheek.

He shook his head. "Morning, ma chère." He mentally slapped himself, she makes him act so out of character it even threw him.

"Can I get my usual?"

"Of course, anything else?"

"You were out of blueberry crumble yesterday. Got any today?"

"I made a fresh sheet this morning just for you, they also have a surprise in the middle."

"I love it when you cook something different."

"Do you want one?"

"Oh, Francis you know me better than that don't you?"

He laughed. "Two blueberry crumble cake pieces coming right up. Ohonon~!" She giggled then started organizing her backpack and her messenger bag.

He sighed, she was lovely, her damp hair was clinging to her face. He ran off the kitchen to get her usual. He peered through the kitchen door, balancing her plates on his arm. Waiting for her to go to the restroom like she does every morning. She grabbed her backpack and walked to the bathroom. As soon as she was in the restroom, Francis went to her table quickly. He laid down her hash brown where he formed two eggs as eyes and bacon for the hair and sausage for the mouth. He placed the hot chocolate and pieces of blueberry crumble down. Then he put a letter under her book. The letter had his confession and an explanation of everything on his mind for these past 6 months.

Thankfully the café was slow, meaning he could join her for breakfast. ___ came here every other morning. Every Friday she stayed longer, until about lunchtime, because she didn't work on weekends at all. On Saturdays and Sundays, she went to the gym, then came to his café, if she finished her book, then she’d go to the library then come back to the café to read and relax before heading home. Needless to say, Francis knew her schedule inside and out. He also loved weekends because of how much he got to see her and talk to her if it wasn't busy of course. Today, though, it was raining, business was usually slow during the rain.

The flirting between both of them had been going steady for a good 4 months and he wasn't going to chicken out anymore. He sat down across from the place he had set up for her.

"Oh, Francis!" She beamed from ear to ear. "This is so cute! I might just not eat it until my friend shows up to show him!"

Francis' smile quickly faded, guy-friend, coming here? He quickly put on a fake smile. "I am okay if you want to show off my skills but it'd be a shame for it to get cold." He was trying so hard not to twitch, had he waited too long?

"My friend will be here at any moment. I will definitely show it off!" She giggled with happiness.

"You've never brought a friend in before. Special occasion?" Francis was trying to keep his cool.

She blushed slightly. "Not really. Just hanging out with him. Oh, there he is!"'

’Why was she blushing? Can I even look at this "friend" of hers?’ Francis’ thoughts were raging with many emotions at once.

"Matt," she waved, "over here." The Canadian boy turned with a shy and unsure look.

Francis' whole world stopped. His little brother. What was Matt doing with his ___ today? How did they even meet? Francis’ heart was racing and almost contracting with pain.

"Matt, this is Francis, my favorite cook in the whole world!" She gusted to him; his eyes stayed on the floor.

"Oh, hey bro," Matt whispered.

"Brother?" ___ looked between them quickly. "You two are related?"

"Francis, he raised me. I was going to tell you I knew him but I couldn't figure out how too." Matt was still looking down. ___'s face flushed.

"Hello, brother," Francis whispered with a broken look on his face...

Sad

Matt’s eyes scanned Francis’, with an apologetic face.

“So, you’re ___’s friend. What are you guys doing today?” Francis forced a smile, which Matt could sense, almost making him flinch.

“Well, Matt asked me out on a date. So I’m not sure what we’re doing today.” ___ smiled at Matt as she said so.

“So, you asked her out?” Francis dropped his fake facade.

“Yeah,” Matt whispered before sitting next to her.

“Well, then I’ll let you two enjoy breakfast.” Francis stood up. “I’ll get you maple syrup and pancakes, okay Matt?”

“Thank you,” he whispered before giving his brother another apologetic look.

After numbly making the pancakes and giving them to Matthew. Francis rested his hands onto the counter, trying not to cry. He loves ___, he loves Matt. Of course, Matt likes her, she’s so cute and shy, just like him. Matt only learned of Francis’ love interest yesterday, walking in as he was writing the letter to her. There’s no way Matt could have known; there’s no way Francis could have known. They never talked to each other about crushes and love interest.

Francis froze. “I have to get that letter before she reads it.” He said to himself, before getting them fresh refreshments. He rushed and got the drinks to them, unfortunately, another customer came in and he had to take and make that order.

By the time he was done, they were gone. With money on top of the letter, for their meal. There was more there than necessary. He pocketed the money; he could feel his tears welling up.

“I’m so sorry.” He noticed the handwriting; it was Matt’s and the letter was unopened. She didn’t even open it, Matt just responded for her. He flipped it over, to see her cursive handwriting.

‘Matt told me not to read this, but while he’s in the bathroom, I wanted to apologize for not reading this. I’ll see you next Friday~!<3’

Francis went into the kitchen with the letter, ready to throw it away with his feeling.

Tears spilled over as he ran a finger over the last sentence she wrote.

He threw the letter in the trash and cried.

Kneeling, he pulled the letter back out. Sobbing, he smoothed it out. Then there was a jingle, showing that someone was in the cafe. He quickly wiped his eyes and came out. There she was, grabbing a bag she forgot. She smiled at him before walking over.

“Were you cutting onions?” She reached up to where the wetness was on his cheek.

“Yeah.” He lied; he loves it when she touches his cheek with so much care.

“Oh, that’s good. I would hate to see you cry. Oh, is that the letter you wanted to give me?” Francis glanced at the letter in his hand.

“You can give it to me, I’ll read it when I get home. It can be our little secret from Mattie.” She giggled; it only tore his heart more.

He ripped it.

“It was just a thank you, for always brightening my day by smiling when you come in.”

She looked a little confused then smiled at him. “You’re so welcome, you are my favorite cook. So I’m glad I can do something in return. I’ll have to buy you goggles for cutting onions,” she giggled before turning and heading for the door. “Bye~!” With that, she ran out of the door.

Francis went back to his kitchen, crying again, realizing he had torn where she wrote. So he threw it away, this time with his hope.

Happy

An awkward silence engulfed the three.

“This is really cute,” Matt spoke up looking at the breakfast Francis had set up for ___.

“Yeah, I waited so I could show you.” She smiled at Matt then looked at Francis. “It’s super cute, thank you for putting the effort in for me.”

Francis' heart melts at the sight of her smile. “Anything for you.” Matt sat rather close to ___ since Francis was sitting in the car across from her. Which only made Francis more uncomfortable.

“Sorry, I never told either of you, that I know both of you,” Matt mumbled.

A clear blush came onto her face. “So, you knew he was before I even asked you to come today?” She almost hissed at him; a voice Francis had never heard from her.

“Yeah, I didn’t know how to tell you. But I approve. I’ve got to go, though. I’ll see you later.” Matt quickly hugged her then shuffled out of the cafe. Leaving a flustered and confused ___ to stare at Francis. Francis smirked at her, understanding why she wanted Matt there.

“So, you wanted your friend's approval of me. Why is that?” He leaned a bit forward rested an elbow on the table and hand against his rest.

“What makes you think I wanted his approval?” Her cheeks were nearly burning.

“Well, he said he approves. If not me, then what?”

“Your food?” He chuckled as she was questioning herself.

“He didn’t eat any. Also, you’re blushing,” she basically slapped her cheeks from trying to hide the blush. “Covering it doesn’t make go away. Ohonon.” Francis kept staring at her, he was so incredibly happy. He wasn’t late. She liked him. She was being nervous in front of him. He reached across the table and took her hand from her face. Entwining his fingers with hers, before kissing the back of her hand.

“We should eat before it gets cold.” She whispered.

He let go of her hand and nodded in agreement.

Francis managed to get her talking again, while they ate. Unfortunately for him, another customer came in, thankfully he was done eating. He excused himself from her and to assist the other person there.

___ finished her hot chocolate and the crumble cake. Once she was done, she politely stacked her plates so it was easier for Francis. When he brought out the other customer's order, he winked and smirked at her. Making her blush again. He glanced at her while taking the dishes from the table. She sighed once he left to go wash the dishes.

Deciding to read, ___ picked up her book, but paused, noticing an envelope. She was very confused and decided to take it, starting to open it. She smiled fondly, once she realized it was from Francis, his neat handwriting always made her smile. Even if it was just on the receipt because the cafe was too busy for him to actually talk to her. It was short and to the point.

Summarizing it; it explained to her, how much he loves her. From trying to make sure to have time with her, to stopping all of his playing around. All he wanted was a date and if it was good, for her to be his girlfriend. She blushed at his neatly wrote words. Tracing the letters at the bottom, the words that were making her heart race. ‘Anything for you, love, Francis.’

Putting down the letter, she noticed Francis coming out from the back. Holding a new hot chocolate for ___. He smiled at her once he sat down. He raised an eyebrow once he saw the letter.

“Didn’t expect you to read it here. Well, let me ask in person then.” He sipped his coffee before grabbing her hand again. “Will you go out on a date with me?”

She looked at him. “Ask something else.” He was confused for a moment before smiling and getting up. Placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

She squeezed his hand slightly, looking at him with red cheeks and a smiling face.

“Anything for you, love.”

#fanfic #fanficiton #hetalia #hetalia fanfic #france x reader #france/reader #lalahbug #lalah writes #reader insert #xreader #self insert

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