#we all know real winner is Finland

[roessslyng]

I'm glad that we, as a community, all hate on Sweden, that's what brings us together

[krotiation]

IVE NEVER FELT THIS PERPLEXED OVER THE EUROVISION RESULTS BEFORE

[leggywormy]

This could have healed my Depression but instead it made it worse *cries in cha cha cha*

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2024: broken promises and one last hope

Hello.

I know this post took a bit longer than usual, but I needed some time to collect my thoughts about this year’s Eurovision.

Yes, I watched it. Why? Because it wouldn’t have been fair to the artists, who took part in this year’s competition. It’s not because of them that the show was so polarized, so they didn’t deserve to be punished for that.

Also, I needed to see how far the EBU would go. I needed to see and I needed to remember. And everyone needs to remember too. Remember this year and remember what happened, when the EBU followed its policy so strictly, it ended up making the most tense show I’ve ever watched.

I will share my thoughts and I will try my best to do it effectively. It won’t be a short post and I apologize, but I tried my best.

_________________________________

Sweden: was it worth it?

We all had big expectations for this year’s show. There was Petra Mede, everyone’s favorite host. And Sweden is well known for doing great shows. This year should've been great.

 The first semifinal starts and we're bombarded by greatest hits of the past. Cool for five minutes, boring after one hour.

I’m disappointed: I expected something better from Sweden, not them recycling something already done in the past. But that’s what they did by sending Loreen back to win again, so I suppose it’s fitting.

Okay, so we have Johnny Logan, Ireland’s three-time winner. Is he singing one of his songs? No, he’s singing Tattoo.

Weird choice. Why call Ireland’s three-time winner to perform a Swedish song? Why call a representative of the nation who won as many times as you and make him sing one of your songs and not one of his?

If I were to think badly, I would think this was Sweden's subtle way to impose its supremacy on Ireland. A sort of: "You're not the best anymore, I reached you and I will surpass you. You will succumb to me". But Sweden would never do something like that, wouldn’t it?

Then we have the second semifinal. And we have a song, which can be resumed as follows: “We know we stole Finland’s victory last year, but instead of admitting there is a problem with the voting system (and the entire system for that matter), we’d much rather prefer to whine, because people have been sooooo mean with us. And yes, we will keep sending the same stuff every time, because it makes us win. At the end of the day, all we want is to keep winning, so shut up and love us.”

I don’t know you, but the line between being self-aware of your flaws and openly admitting all you want is to win (all while insulting the country that almost won last year, by saying that their show would’ve been so stupid ah ah, while ours is so cool, see how cool we are?) is very thin. And even the greatest hosting country of all time can succumb to its own hubris once in a while.

Then we reach the final. Okay, the semifinals' shows were meh and left me with a bitter aftertaste, but hey, that’s the final! It must be awesome!

After two hours, I was looking at the clock, waiting for the entire thing to be over.

Did we really need a thirst song about Martin Österdahl, the most hated EBU Executive Supervisor? Was it really necessary to sexualize this man? Is it because he’s Swedish? Is it because Sweden needs to kiss the ESC’s ass even more? Or is it because the ESC really really wants to make this guy more popular, considering people hate him?

After hinting at them in every possible way for the entire week, in the end we got AI-generated ABBA. Well, shoutout to the real ABBA for not participating in this: last year they said they would’ve not taken part and they didn't. Respect.

Alcazar were the biggest surprise of the entire week, because they are a piece of my childhood and Crying at the Discoteque is still a huge bop. But heaven forbid we having fun for more than five minutes, so they were sent away immediately.

At the end of the day, my question is: was it worth it, Sweden? Was it worth winning seven times, only to celebrate with the most boring show ever?

I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I missed Portugal’s show. Yes, the show I called “torture”, because they kept spamming the entire country for days.

You know what? I’d rather watch a country constantly spam its beauties and its culture, than another greatest hit compilation. By god, you’re hosting Eurovision. That's your chance to display your country on the greatest window Europe has to offer. And you use that chance, to repeat over and over “Eurovision good” and talk about it only.

I know Eurovision is good and cool and I love the reminder... but please, give us something more, Sweden. Something you. Listening to a country say: “We don’t have anything else to offer besides Eurovision” does not make me laugh. It makes me sad. It's not that you don't have anything else to offer, Sweden: it's that you don't want to show what else you have to offer.

You have gorgeous natural places (Höga Kusten and Gotland just to name two). You have the second-longest bridge in Europe and it's fucking impressive. Your capital is full of wonderful islands - and I found out there are tours with buses that go both on the ground and in the water. How fucking cool is that?!

Do we want to talk about culture? Your coffee breaks are literally part of your lifestyle and even have a specific name. You have that great concept of lagom which a lot of people should learn too. You are full of beautiful art and funny foods - heck, there is even a Disgusting Food Museum in Malmö! And I didn't find out thanks to Eurovision, but thanks to fucking Tripadvisor.

It's just sad, you know? Don't underestimate yourself so much, Sweden. You have a ton to offer besides this show.

_________________________________

 The Netherlands: victim of paradoxes

Europapa was one of fan’s favorite songs and of course it was: a catchy tune, funny singer, fun and happiness for a song that was both a celebration of Europe and a touching love letter from Joost to his parents.

Of course it got people’s hearts. We all love the story of a character who comes up with a dream and wants to fulfill it. And if we can, we want to make that dream come true.

So just imagine how devastating it was, to find out Joost has been disqualified. I was minding my own business when I found out and I was shocked, so I can’t even imagine how bad his hardcore fans felt.

The first question was, of course, why. What happened? What could’ve done a man who has always wanted to attend Eurovision, to get disqualified? Not warned, not penalized. Disqualified. What did he ever do, to put in jeopardy his lifelong dream like that?

I don't know if we’ll ever find out the whole truth. All we know is that Joost asked a woman to stop filming him, she refused and kept following him, so he made a “threatening gesture” towards the camera, while not touching her.

Which gesture? No idea. Maybe he showed his middle finger, maybe he tried to lower the camera, maybe he said “fuck you and stop filming me”, maybe he tried to hit the camera. I don’t know. But in this case, I would really like to know - and not just what he did, but how the whole thing went.

If this year taught us something, is the importance of context. If Joost Klein tried to punch the camera is one thing and he should be condemned for that. But if Joost Klein tried to punch the camera after being filmed without his permission, because a woman was harassing him and following him, thus breaking the agreement that wanted him to not be filmed after stage… well, that's another thing.

Sure, he shouldn’t have reacted this way. But you can understand by yourself that snapping at someone out of the blue is one thing and snapping because you’re fed up with harassment is another thing.

Did Joost deserve some punishment? Sure. But did the person filming him without consent deserve punishment too? Of course. If you have to apply punishments, you have to do it equally, not with a double standard. So if he was disqualified, that woman should've been removed from her position too. But as far as I know, she wasn't.

Also, why didn't the EBU tell exactly what happened right from the start? Why refer to it as “an incident” and give only vague explanations? Why not mention Joost's disqualification during the Grand Final? Why did people have to find out through social media and the Grand Final happened as if nothing?

That's weird, that's not the behavior of someone who has nothing to hide. What’s the matter, EBU? Why this weird lack of communication? And why not show the footage of the incident and make everything clear? Now you’re respecting Joost’s right to not be filmed? A bit too late for that, isn’t it?

So yes, in a paradoxical turn of events, Joost Klein got his dream denied by the same show he wanted to be part of. The guy with the most European song ever, the one who stuck to the ESC motto “united by music”, the one who celebrated Europe, the one whose childhood dream was to be part of this European show, got disqualified by the same European show.

What can I say? I just hope karma will do its job for him. If he's innocent, he will get good things. If he's in the wrong, he will get his punishment.

In the meantime, you can still support him, stream his songs and check his albums. Here on YouTube you will find basically all of them, since it doesn’t seem he has a YouTube channel (yet).

And if his fans still find everything absurd and unjustifiable, don't worry: if Eurovision 2023 (and all previous ones) taught us something, is that you don’t have to be the winner, to steal people’s hearts. Sometimes, you just need one performance.

And this one stole everyone's heart.

Also, since apparently paradoxes were not enough, it seems like European flags were banned for being political? European flags during a European show in a European country in the European continent.

Uh?!

EBU, one question: on which continent do you think you’re in? Spoiler: it’s not America.

_________________________________

EBU’s biggest mistake

Let's talk a bit about the current global situation, shall we? No, you can't escape from it.

So, unless you lived under a rock until now, you know that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has been going on for a long time and that recently it intensified again because of the new Gaza conflict. Israel pretends to not have committed war crimes, the rest of the world tells them to stop committing them, there are protests everywhere and people are ready to jump at each other’s throats to defend one country or the other.

Now, you’re the EBU. You say your show isn’t political. And that’s true: Eurovision isn’t political. Eurovision is a musical competition. It has nothing to do with politics.

But Eurovision takes place on planet Earth. And, as said, the situation on planet Earth is a bit tense right now. So you already know that, if you stick one single finger in this situation, you will get BIG reactions from the public.

So, what do you do, when Israel asks you to participate?

a) You tell Israel, very politely and very professionally, that you appreciate their application, but cannot accept them this year, because the situation is what it is and letting them in would bring chaos and potential dangers into a contest whose main foundation is being safe and non-political.

b) You let Israel in and let Palestine participate too, at least in spirit through people’s voices and decisions to mention it. This way, no one can say you’re taking sides, since you’re letting both sides participate.

c) You let Israel in and censor everything and everyone else, so not only you bring chaos inside your non-political contest, but make it even more political than ever and end up taking sides too.

Guess what EBU chose.

In order to stick to their non-political policy, EBU put blinders on and ignored the rest of the world. In order to let one country in because "Eurovision is non-political, so everyone is allowed to participate", they brought politics into their non-political show.

And no, it's not unexpected: it was obvious that, by letting Israel in, politics would've entered the competition too. This country and politics are bound tightly now, because of the current situation: of course if you let one in, the other will enter too.

And with politics, all the chaos of the current situation found its way in too. And that means EBU literally put in danger:

25 artists and their teams coming from all over Europe

the same Israeli gal and her team

all the tourists coming from all over the world to attend Eurovision

Swedish people who were living their normal lives and were suddenly surrounded by protests and chaos

the protesters who could've been involved in potential clashes

members of the police who also could've been involved in potential clashes

“But hey”, you might say, “nothing bad happened, in the end! You’re being too negative!”

Sure, thankfully nothing bad happened. But the risk was there, it was huge and it's not that "it would've been here anyway": the risk could've been completely avoided, by applying just a bit more human reasoning.

But even after politics found its way into the show, even after that, EBU could've saved the whole thing. If only one human being with a functioning brain said something like: "Okay, politics is in, even if we didn't want to. Now all we can do is let the other side of the conflict speak too, while we stay neutral".

But no, oh no. Mentioning Palestine and ceasefire means politics and our show isn't political. So let's ignore the fact that our decision to follow the policy verbatim led to politics being inside the show and let's keep applying the rules as if nothing: no one should mention politics, so Eric Saade cannot perform with the kefiah, Bambie Thug should remove their messages about ceasefire, Iolanda cannot keep her nails with Palestine's colors (seriously?!) and people's booing should be drowned with anti-booing technology.

You know, it's incredibly fascinating how EBU's stubborn decision to strictly follow the rules not only allowed politics inside the show, but led to the EBU itself taking a political stand, all while censoring every other opposition. EBU's rigid, mechanical application of the policy led to the EBU contradicting the same policy it was oh-so-religiously following. By making sure the show wasn't political, EBU applied censorship and not only made it even more political, but politically oriented towards one side of the conflict.

I don't know who the EBU members are and if they're human beings with functioning brains or just AI-generated bots, but please: stop following the rules like mindless robots and start using human reasoning in your decision-making process. And use common sense too, because if an idiot like me could foresee the consequences, you should've been able to foresee them too.

_________________________________

Israel: bullying cannot buy you victory

Now, we have Israel in. And the Israeli gal and her team perfectly know that their sole presence will lead to controversy and political stands.

So, if you were in their place, what would have you done?

kept a low profile during the entire competition;

showed at least an ounce of regret for unintentionally putting everyone in danger;

bullied everyone and tried to find any possible chance to beef with the other artists;

Guess what the Israeli team chose.

During the entire competition, these people kept harassing other artists, filming them without consent, calling them names, misgendering them. They kept this arrogant behavior, as if they owned the place and all other countries were just invited to their show.

And if there’s something I hate more than arrogance, is arrogance with a side dish of bullying.

So, to all the people whining because “Martina Satti yawned while Eden was speaking and Joost hid his face”: if that’s bullying, for you, you have a great life and I envy you. I wish I was bullied like that in school. But my bullying was more like… well, calling me names, harassing me and listening/spying what I was doing without my consent.

But apparently harassing the competitors wasn’t enough, so Israel decided to harass the viewers too, by begging for votes. Yes, they begged for votes. Yes, they spammed ads all over YouTube. Yes, I got one too and it was on a Eurovision-unrelated video and it made my blood boil. Yes, they were this desperate. And yes, that’s pathetic.

Also: is this legal? Is this allowed? EBU, are we sure this is part of the rules you follow so strictly? And please, tell me: is harassment also part of those same rules?

But do not worry: in the end, karma found its way. And despite the arrogance, the harassment, the tons of money spent to beg people, none of these means was enough to grant Israel the victory they oh-so-desperately wanted.

On the contrary: in a wonderfully ironic twist, the winner was one of the artists they kept misgendering and harassing. Mmmh, delicious irony, my favorite.

So thank you Israel for wasting money all over YouTube, I hope they were a lot. Thank you to all the people who made a political vote, you really got the spirit of the show, I hope you will never watch it again. Thank you Israeli team for harassing everyone and making an already tense competition even more tense. And, most importantly, thank you EBU for bringing politics in a non-political show: great fucking job, I hope someone will get fired.

And now, let's finally talk about music. Israel's song was nothing special, just the umpteenth bland song I've listened to 200 times already. And we all know it didn't get 300+ votes because everyone was in love with it. People's taste is not so bland and boring. And the final points proved it.

(On a side note, if I were Eden, I would be offended by these votes. At least the people who voted for Loreen last year didn't do it because of Sweden, but because of her talent. This year, I doubt that the people who voted for Eden gave a shit about her talent at all)

_________________________________

France: I need to make some apologies

Listen, you have to understand: we Italians know that French singers are good. We laugh, we say they’re “so French” and they keep Frenching and everything, but we know they rarely disappoint.

The problem is that France is good at the same things we’re good too. We’re both good at soccer, we’re good with food, wine, fashion. And we’re both good at singing.

So, France, remember: we might make fun of you but my god, your artists are amazing. When Slimane sang that part acapella two meters away from his microphone, I literally got shivers. He is a fucking great singer, his voice is incredible and he deserved more than 7 points.

I know French Frenching, but we should give credit when necessary:

_________________________________

Estonia, Spain and basically everyone else: two words and more apologies

Estonia 20th and Spain 22nd? Super robbed. The ignominy. The audacity. They served us beautiful Estonian language and a Spanish gal with a soft voice and that's how they got rewarded? They deserve more and better and people are stupid.

Also, I don’t know what kind of beef Greeks have with Marina, but she was good and doesn’t deserve all of this hate. Also because most of the complaints I've heard about make no sense, so… uh?!

Germany: fucking finally, people gave you votes. Thank you for persevering, your song was truly nice and I liked it too.

Armenia: yes, top 10! For great, lively, wonderful Balkan rhythm! You deserve it and your country deserves love and appreciation.

Italy: I’m okay with this result. Angelina’s performance was better, compared to the one in the semi-finals (also, better costume too, the other was too revealing and too much in general). 7th place is fine.

Ireland: I know that’s not a song for everyone and okay, fine, maybe it’s nothing special either… but my god, have you seen the performance they put on? A-ma-zing. It was interesting, captivating and full of details. And the narrative is perfect too: you can see how Bambie slowly befriends the demon and ends up killing it. It was truly enjoyable to watch. So I’m glad it got 6th place, they deserve an even higher position.

Ukraine: please keep slaying, your artists are always so great and they keep proving it every goddamn time. Also, that moment when Ukraine surpassed Israel was delicious: money truly cannot buy you love and support.

The UK: seriously, why are you whining about people not giving you points? The song was okay, but nothing truly special. Still, you got 18th place! What should Norway say, instead? Poor Norway, it has all my sympathy, the song wasn't this bad.

And now, to you all: you know what to do. Follow your favorites, stream their songs, shower them with love. Eurovision is over, but these artists are not disappearing. They are still out there, making beautiful music. Go check on them.

_________________________________

Croatia: “the audience will come to my concert, not the jury”

Baby Lasagna was a blessing and as Italian, I want to properly apologize for giving it 16 points total only. You deserved 24, shame on us for being stupid morons.

Croatia gave us a beautiful song, from a beautiful artist with a great message and upbeat sounds. And I’m not the only one who thinks this, because the rest of the public agrees with me. Marko gave us pure joy and entertainment in an evening that was mostly sadness, tension and boredom.

And yes, it’s sad he didn’t win… but he knew it, before Switzerland’s points have been announced. Look at his face, during the final voting: as soon as Petra said Switzerland only needed 182 points, he realized he was going to lose. You can see him understanding and accepting it. He knew Switzerland would get these points. I knew. Everybody knew.

So no, this wasn’t like last year: last year, it was a one-on-one game between Finland and Sweden and a tug-of-war between public and jury. This year, we had a lot of favorites. Marko was the favorite, but if Joost wasn’t disqualified, maybe the points would’ve been even more distributed.

But you know what? Marko actually got the best possible result you can get in Eurovision. People adore you, you become a legend and your country doesn’t have to deal with EBU’s bullshit. You get the best of both worlds and it doesn’t cost you a cent.

Also, consider that Marko accepted his 2nd place graciously and maturely, went back home and was welcomed by basically the whole Zagreb (Let3 were there too! Kings supporting a king, very fitting). And in an interview, he said something like “I don’t care about the jury points, because the jury doesn’t come to my concerts”. Which proves he is:

a mood

a king

the truth oracle

everyone’s spirit animal

the winner of the people

the coolest guy ever

So, Croatia: I understand your disappointment, the jury system REALLY needs to change. And no, you won't host Eurovision next year. But consider that you're everyone's favorite country now. And you won't have to deal with whatever shit will happen in 2025! So sit back, relax, may your tourism thrive and your quality of life be high.

And if all of you people really enjoyed Baby Lasagna, please consider he has a YouTube channel and there are two other songs, besides Rim Tim Tagi Dim. One criticizes social media and the influencer system, while the other is a piece of great life advice from the title: “Don't hate yourself, but don't love yourself too much”. Thank you, king, for being so real.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, they’re both huge bops.

Do your magic, people: subscribe to his channel, stream his songs, watch his videos, shower him with love and, most importantly, meow back.

_________________________________

Switzerland: a contest that can live up to its promise

In the end Switzerland won. And it’s a good victory, you know? You might not like the song, but consider that Nemo sang pop, rap and opera, all while jumping on that rotating platform-thingy and running all over the stage. And they even bent back, while keeping a high note and rotating. I can’t even keep a high note by standing still, let alone by doing all the stuff they did.

Also, this is the first victory for a non-binary person, so great for them. And basically no one knew Nemo before Eurovision, so the show came back to its roots, by giving fame to an unknown artist.

Last but not least, in an ironic turn of events, this victory is the least political thing that happened on that stage. In the most polarized, political show ever, the winner is the quintessential neutral country. Almost poetic, in a way.

And this victory is also a huge slap in the face for the EBU: in the end, it wasn't its rigid adherence to the policy that made the show non-political, it was the jury’s vote. How the tables have turned.

But there is another reason why this victory is good after all and it’s because it’s a hopeful one. The winner isn’t famous, they didn’t harass anyone, they didn’t use money to win, they brought nothing besides their identity, a kind heart and a flag they had to sneak in because of the weird “flag rule” EBU pulled out.

And I would like to remind you that, during their victory speech, Nemo said this:

"I hope this contest can live up to its promise and continue to stand for peace and dignity for every person in this world".

I think it’s a speech that tells everything about this year’s show. This year, the contest didn’t live up to its promise: it put people in unnecessary danger, it brought tension, it made it political. EBU’s strictness led to a lot of consequences, the exact ones it tried so desperately to avoid.

As a result, no one enjoyed their time. I didn't enjoy my time. When Sunday came, I was relieved that the week was finally over and I was able to leave Eurovision behind. I didn't feel an ounce of the usual post-Eurovision nostalgia. I was just glad it was over.

And it's sad and unfair, because Eurovision isn't this. Eurovision is a perfect little window of peace and unity, away from the chaos of the world. For a few hours, three evenings a year, we can leave the real problems behind and focus on silly ones, like which country should win, which should be forever ashamed and which artist will become a legend.

This year, it wasn't like that. This year politics found its way in and wrecked everything. What was supposed to be a silly, funny, lighthearted show became so heavily politically charged, it broke under the weight.

And now that I think about it, Nemo breaking the trophy is the perfect metaphorical representation of this year's competition.

Just like that trophy, Eurovision is something frail and beautiful and mishandling can break it. And oh boy, the EBU truly mishandled it. Even if it was an accident, even if it wasn't done on purpose, the trophy is still broken. The show is broken.

But when asked about their broken trophy, Nemo didn't mourn it: Nemo gave words of hope. Maybe the broken trophy can be repaired. And maybe Eurovision can be repaired too.

How? Well, maybe by starting to learn when and how to apply rules. By using common sense and sensibility. And by checking the world outside too. If we want Eurovision to keep being that small window separated from real world problems, we can't just ignore them: we need to check them and react accordingly.

And if we have to break a rule to guarantee peace and safety, then so be it. One broken rule is not as important as safety and unity.

After all, what makes Eurovision isn't a set of rules: it's the artists, with their talents, their messages, their hopes, their voices, their dreams. They are Eurovision. They are the pull that draws everyone in. They are the reason why people are "united by music". Not because a rule orders them to, not because of the EBU: because of these artists.

Maybe the EBU can start from that. Maybe it can start by looking at the human aspect. Maybe it can start by going out and looking around. And maybe it can learn to take more care of the artists who are the foundation of the show.

And maybe, maybe, they will be able to repair Eurovision too.

See you, hopefully, next year.

[iwillstabyou]

I have a confession.

As my delightful mutuals probably know, I am Swedish. I am a proud Swede. I live in England though, hence the language (men jag förstår lite svenska också). Therefore, naturally I was happy when my homeland triumphed in the Eurovision Song Contest 2023, mostly because my Swedish relatives FaceTimed me to celebrate the win and they were well and truly LEATHERED (and trust me, that is the truest form of entertainment).

As I’ve mentioned before, us Swedes are fucking FERAL when it comes to Eurovision, so the euphoria of the success coursed through my blood like opium. But much like opium, it skewed my perception of things. It blinded me to the true injustice of it all. It rendered me unable to recognise the truth: the fact that the true winner - Käärijä - was robbed of the title he truly deserved. His act had all the things that Eurovision is about: neon outfits fit for a dr Seuss character, lyrics that seem nonsensical but actually have meaning (and bonus, it’s not a depressing meaning), techno-metal mixed with a highly contrasting genre, slutty backup dancers, singing in Finnish, weird staging, etc. I could go on forever.

The point is, Käärijä slayed. He slayed hard. He slayed harder than Loreen could ever dream of. And I may not have registered it at the time, but looking back now, I realise that from the very first time cha cha cha blessed my ears, I was rooting for Finland, despite my Swedish bloodline. In fact, now I can admit that the aforementioned ‘euphoria’ I felt as the win was announced, was shallow. Deep down, I was actually disappointed. The more I think about it, the more I realise that our ‘win’ was a meaningless feat, fuelled by a jury of so called ‘experts’ who are probably mainly boring old sods with a poor music taste (not like that’s a new revelation - this is Eurovision ffs).

And because of that, I can now fully accept that the only real true winner of Eurovision Song Contest 2023 is Finland. So Käärijä, I speak on behalf of all Swedes (yes, all of them. The ones that disagree just aren’t as self aware and haven’t come to this conclusion yet. They’ll see the truth soon enough. Except for maybe Loreen, which is fair enough) when I say that we collectively give YOU the official title of “Eurovision Song Contest 2023 winner” that you so deserve. We didn’t want it anyway. We have ABBA, it’s not like we can ever beat that.

Congrats on the win, Finland!

[ratinthevoid]

still on my eurovsion bullshit but this time with more hope

so idk I any of you remember how Lordi won in 2006? it was quite a huge thing. a real stepping stone in eurovision history.

next year contest was first so fun, diverse and probably the most unique there have ever been. we got so many bands, we got drag, we got rock, we got disco, we got artists who were having fun on stage, we got songs that were weird (affectionate), it was a year we got Verka, we got so many colors and experimental performances. everybody was stepping up their game because europe choosing Lordi previous year has proven that it's what people want and what eurovision should be about.

Käärija win could have the same effect. i know it would. but his impact on eurovision history is big enough. he got more love, support, new fans from across the world than most official winners. he also make finland really proud. and isn't this was real victory is all about?

changing voting system is still really important though. every year we have more new unique artist that are screwed over by jury and of course that can be discouraging. it's about having fun but it's also a competition.

tbh finland just know how to do it right. we should borrow their 25/75 voting system too. end of post.

tl;dr lordi had a huge impact on eurovision. next esc in 2007 was really fun and unique because of them. käärijä can have the same impact and inspire future esc performers but changing voting system is still important.

[deep-hearts-core]

A post about the Loreen thing,

which I'm making separately so that it isn't hidden under the cut when I do my yearly review.

First of all it is necessary to state that I don't hate Tattoo. I have it fifteenth for the year. I liked Euphoria and I like some of Loreen's other music. I am not jumping on the hater train because I hate Loreen or hate the song. She sounded good on the night and the staging was, as we expect of Sweden, showy and mostly visually interesting.

HOWEVER. I think that there are two reasons that people are angry right now and both of them are justified. Firstly, it's because of the way the voting system works currently and what narratives work well on a television show (which Eurovision, ultimately, is). Secondly, it's because some more discerning fans are picking up on some of the circumstances surrounding Loreen's participation and win and have gotten out their red string.

To point one: This is the first time since the split voting system was implemented in 2016 that the winner of the jury vote won the contest. We've previously had entries who won neither, but there was too big of a split between the jury and televote winner (2016, 2019), an entry who won both votes (2017), and entries who won the televote (2018, 2021, 2022). Eurovision has changed a lot since its inception and in some ways the juries are a holdover from when it was a song contest rather than a performance contest (they were also reintroduced to combat bloc voting and then just made the bloc voting worse so do with that what you will). These days, the people like to vote!!! The people also like an underdog, which we went into the contest knowing that Finland was--or at least, the only other contender with a fighting chance of beating Queen Loreen. So seeing Loreen absolutely sweep the jury vote, country by country, with a margin of over 100 points, got boring and frustrating real fast.

I'm not saying down with the juries necessarily. I'm a somewhat serious musician who often loves jury bait songs and the juries have played an important role in supporting the songs I really like. And sometimes, the tension between the jury vote and public vote is okay! Sometimes it's interesting and makes for good television! But last night was not, narratively, good television.

I mean, maybe it was for some people.

Which leads me to point two: the red string. Now, I am not usually a conspiracy theory person at Eurovision. I mean, my first Eurovision was 2016 and I remember how the Russia fans got about that. My second Eurovision was 2017 and I hated APD with a burning passion at the time and I didn't get out the red string then.

But this... I think a lot of more serious fans are looking at the big picture. So, when a country wins, they get to be on the reference group and participate in decision-making about contest rules and such. The last time Sweden won was 2015. This win put them at 6 total, one behind Ireland. Sweden has made being good at Eurovision part of their national identity. The split voting system was introduced the following year, at the 2016 contest, hosted by Sweden.

Fast forward to this year. Sweden have placed 5th three times, 4th once, and then 7th and 14th which are less interesting, in the years since. Objectively very good results. But this year, the contest final was due to take place on Johnny Logan's birthday (Johnny Logan being the first, at that time only, competitor in history to win twice). The fiftieth anniversary of Abba's win is next year. And Loreen decided to come back to Melodifestivalen.

Loreen had previously tried to return in 2017 with the song "Statements" but wiped out in Melfest's second chance round. So it wasn't necessarily guaranteed that she would sweep. However, many fans felt that this year's Melfest entries were really weak songs, which made it easier for "Tattoo", with its flashy staging and name recognition, to soar to a win. In a real monkey's paw moment, I said after watching Melfest that the only way I could accept Loreen winning Melfest was if she Johnny Logan'd. Lol.

Even before Melfest, though, there were also the new voting rules. For the first time this year, semifinal qualifiers would be decided only through televote, not based on the juries. As I noted last night, this meant that the televote would likely be split among many songs--we'd still have a televote winner, but if the jury coalesced behind one song, the jury winner would win the contest. This... happened.

It's also worth noting that the current executive supervisor of the contest is Swedish, and that even before the voting sequence there were references to Abba and Johnny Logan throughout the night. That, in addition to the weak Melfest, timing of both voting changes, and the timing of the contest, adds up to a conspiratorial picture, for those who are so inclined.

And, lastly, I also think some of us are having fun arguing with Loreen fans, especially those who are like "well, YOU voted for her, so you don't get to complain!" Reader, I did not vote for Loreen. I in fact voted for Finland, among others. Most of us who are complaining did not, in fact, vote for Loreen. And look I don't wanna be like last year's Spain fans who to this day say that Chanel was the true winner of the 2022 contest but it is pretty fun to be a hater.

At the end of the day, it is what it is and there isn't anything we can do to change it, but it's fun to be angry in the meantime, and I personally had fun assembling all the reasons why people are angry into a nice little tumblr post for you all. Thank you and goodnight <3

[esc-is-holding-me-hostage]

Final thoughts/rant/whatever

- Yeah, Greece giving Cyprus meager 4 points meant that it's all doomed

- The real crimes of the juries were putting Israel 2nd and Estonia 5th

- My tweet asking Ukrainians not to vote for Poland got a surprising 1000+ likes and retweets. And guess what? IT DIDN'T FUCKING MATTER, 'CAUSE WE GAVE 12 POINTS TO POLAND ANYWAY сукакурванахуйблядь I hate it here

- Slovenia in the 21st place is makes me wanna put on Joker (hehe) makeup

- Germany putting in effort and still being dead last is just sad

And now for the big thing

Do I think that the show was "rigged" in Loreen's favor? No.

But I'm still upset and the difference of 163 points between her and jury's second place is absolutely fucking baffling.

The jury vote system is designed in such a way that huge point gaps are less likely to occur AND YET. May I remind you that in 2019 correcting the votes of one (1) country changed the jury winner.

I'm sure they will try to change the system somehow next year. After all, we've got the current system after Sweden won as a jury 1st, televote 3rd place.

That said. Oh my god, can you guys fucking chill? Stop with these ridiculous conspiracy theories. "It's because of ABBA's win anniversary", "Melfest was purposely made bad so she could win" - jeeeesus.

Loreen was second in the televote, she got points from literally every country except for Finland (obviously), it's not like she was pushed to the winning spot from out of the top 10. People, a lot of people, voted for her. She did have the whole package with a good song, great vocals and great staging. It's not like the juries handed Bridges a win.

Do you all have the memory of a goldfish and don't remember KEiiNO? Who also won the televote but not the whole thing? This is not the first time this is happenned, come on, shit like this is bound to occur sometimes.

"The juries were put in place because of the anti Eastern-European sentiment, we don't need them anymore". Yes, and also because the contest was filled with shit-tier joke entries fighting for the televotes.

"The televoters know what's best!" After 5 points (last place) to Blanca and 81 points (8th) to Blanka? After 16 points to Austria? Really?

Look. I am also upset at the result. I turned off my TV before the winner's repriese, for fuck's sake. I expected Loreen to fight for that 1st jury spot. I expected Käärijä to get between 60 and 100 jury points so I could give up my hopes before they even started announcing the televote results. But he was in the 4th spot, and I thought that maybe, just maybe he can still win. And that's why you should never get your expectations up, kids.

tl;dr: Käärijä deserved to win, but making up fucking conspiracy theories to justify your fave not winning is stupid and you all should chill and stream Cha Cha Cha or something. Give the green man those 0.003 dollars.

[befehlvonganzunten]

Final thoughts on the Grand Final before I'll shut up about Eurovision for the rest of the year...

The Show

Gotta admit that I didn’t like it because I was hoping they’d be doing more to celebrate Ukraine since they actually won last year. It felt more like the Big UK Show and… yeah, that’s defo not what I tuned in for.

The Jury Votes

I do not understand how a small group of so-called experts can have so much power over the results. It shouldn’t be like that at all. Also: letting the juries place their votes before the actual final makes no sense to me. They should have to place their votes based on the actual final performance. Anything else is just bullshit.

The Official Winner

No surprise here, which is probably what disappointed me the most. I don’t think "Tattoo" is a bad song. It’s just one of those ESC entries that were purely designed to please the juries and I'm sorry, but Sweden does this pretty much every year and I’m tired of it. Like, maybe sticking to more or less the exact same formula for nearly a decade really is the key to success, but it’s also incredibly lazy imo.

I actually feel bad for Loreen, though, because none of this is her fault. Käärijä was clearly the public’s favorite and to know that you only won thanks to the juries who are famously - and rightfully - hated by the public must sting at least a little bit. (Sweden winning right on time for the ABBA anniversary thingy also seems suspiciously convenient, but I don't have the time or energy to go and make assumptions.)

The Real Winner

It’s the boy from Vantaa who cha cha cha’d too close to the sun. (Seriously, though: check out his other songs, he’s really good. And check out Finland, too! It's a beautiful country full of beautiful people who deserve way more credit than they usually get.) This dude has brought me such joy over the past few weeks, I'm genuinely heartbroken over the results. He and his team did their very best, but apparently the juries have zero tolerance for out-of-the-box thinking.

Käärijä won the public vote by a landslide and at the end of the day, that’s the only thing that truly matters, but still. Despite Ukraine’s win last year, rap is still painfully underrepresented in the contests and that’s a shame if you ask me. Like, there’s only so much jury-friendly pop I can take before my brain shuts off automatically.

Who Else Was Robbed

Austria, Moldova, LATVIA, and - and I can’t believe I’m actually writing this because I’m basically conditioned to hate my home country’s entries no matter what - Germany. I didn’t like "Blood & Glitter" as a song choice at all, but the stage-performance was solid. (Welp, at least we didn’t receive zero points this time.)

In Conclusion

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I do believe that Eurovision is completely ridiculous, but it’s also a great opportunity to explore European music and to get together with your friends and collectively yell at the TV in the middle of the night, which is always fun I guess. I had a lot of issues with this year's contest, so here’s hoping that the next one will be better and - most importantly - less predictable.

[because-its-eurovision]

Finland is number one in Poland's Viral 50 💚. Slovenia is second by the way. And also Croatia, Austria, Switzerland, Cyprus, Armenia, Moldova, France and Czechia are all trending above Sweden and fit in top15. Which I think kind of shows how middle of the road their song is (I'm not going to say it's bad, because Loreen is a good singer, but it really kind of goes is one ear and out the other without leaving a trace), and that people want something more memorable and crazy from Eurovision.

It is kind of interesting that after watching both semis and the grand finale, I was able to kind of accurately predict who would be a qualifier, but the finale voting was one big mystery to me 😅. Why didn't Slovenia, Austria and Czechia get more points? Why was Germany lower than Poland? What is even happening in the heads of the juries?

But Finland is definitely going to be remembered. And I think Swedish commentators know that, and it really bothers them it's your country that captivated people hearts, and they turn offensive out of some wounded pride.

This new made me really happy ❤ Not only that Cha Cha Cha is number one, but in general that Eurovision is so relevant nowadays that it is able to make the competing songs (other than the winner and the country’s own entry) go viral. Tattoo was ofc viral in many, many countries even before the contest which is really not surprising seeing how it embraces the pop hit pattern and is ridiculously catchy, but seeing non-English songs even higher really warms my heart.

There are always going to be surprising results, but the running order and competition in the same genre do have an effect. Obviously I do not have the answers, and this is speculation only.

Slovenia qualified and 78 points is not a bad result at all, considering they also got points from 14 different countries. The withdrawing of North Macedonia and Montenegro likely had an impact on their total score. Before the grand final Slovenia was 23rd in the odds which is in line with their result of 21st place. In my view Slovenia was since the beginning always more of a fan favourite than a real contender. I once read a take saying that only diaspora and fans vote in Eurovision, which is supported by the fact that Joker Out got their highest points in the final from Croatia, Serbia and Finland (got to support Käärijä’s boyfriend 🥰)

Austria was hurt by the running order in the grand final perhaps more than anyone. It has been shown that the running order doesn’t affect the juries as much as the televoters, perhaps because the juries are required to watch the whole show from the beginning to the end while the regular viewers might miss the first few songs. Juries did raise Austria to the 8th place which is once again a great result in my opinion, for a country that usually doesn’t enjoy that much of neighbour support. In general despite the country it is really hard to place higher than around 15th place when opening the grand final – Belgium came 10th in 2016 but was only 16th in the televote. Other reasons for Austria's low televote score might have been the quality difference between first and second semi final, and the voters all gathering to support Finland when it became clear they were the only ones who could challenge Sweden.

Czechia got their second ever top 10 result, second best result ever and best result since Mikolas Josef’s 6th place in 2018, so I wouldn’t be disappointed at all. Perhaps they suffered having to perform between Finland and Australia, which is something I expected could happen.

Germany is one of the Central European countries that cannot trust their neighbours to support them, as we have unfortunately seen many times. In general, succeeding with a rock/metal entry in Eurovision is very difficult and rare, although there are a couple of exception which I probably don’t even have to mention. In March I got this ask and made a prediction based on how well rock/heavy entries similar to Blood and Glitter usually have succeeded in Eurovision (21st-24th place), so I’m not that shocked by their result. Sad of course, but not surprised. (I expected UK be last, but I guess they got some support points for being the host). My guess is Germany also once again suffered from being a direct qualifier (not having the same bond with viewers as semi-finalists do) and competing against Australia and especially Finland, who have similar-ish target audience.

As for Poland I need to remind that they have a huge diaspora – their highest points came from Ukraine, Ireland, Lithuania and United Kingdom. Most people who knew and cared about the infamous NF result were Polish viewers themselves and Eurovision fans, and neither of those groups can give negative votes. To Blanka’s credit we must admit that the performance improved massively since the NF and Solo as a light and campy female pop didn’t really have any genre competition, and it isn’t as divisive as metal or heavy rock is.

Juries are asked to focus their vote on 4 main sets of criteria: Vocal capacity of the artist(s) Performance on stage Composition and originality of the song Overall impression of the act

Regardless of how angry I am of the ridiculously high jury points to Sweden this year – and almost every year, really – I think they were pretty consistent with their ranking this year. We can argue about Cha Cha Cha being more original than Tattoo, but we can’t argue about Käärijä being weaker singer than Loreen or Marco. Juries always put more emphasis on the vocal capacity and singing skills than televote does. That is also why what the fans call “boring ballads” tend to be higher than campy uptempos and ethnic bops, because the latter rarely require expectional vocal techniques. My hot take is that juries are necessary to evaluate objectively the actual technical skills of the performers and prevent us from having to sit through another year like 2008 with Leto Svet, Baila El Chiki Chiki, Dustin the Turkey and Wolves of the Sea kind of atrocities.

I love the last chapter 🥺 Käärijä is the people’s princess 💗 I think @suspiciouslandlady put it best in this post. Sweden cannot take that all the attention and love is not directed at them. They cannot take that we are celebrated instead of them. They cannot take that their "former Eastern part of the kingdom" is acknowledged at its own right and not just as the lesser neighbour country. We are so used to being forgotten between Sweden and Russia, the weird Nordic that has their own strange language none of the others understand, always the oppressed, the underdog in contests and sports. We might have lost once again, but this time the world is on our side and the spotlight is on Finland. And that is hard for our neighbours to swallow.

[sightkeeper]

First time every actually watching Eurovision! I took notes because I did not trust my memory of who was who:

Austria - Edgar Allen Poe (funny) Portugal - Gossamer dress good energy

Switzerland - soldier ballad (meh)

Poland - Solo Tropical Brittany (catchy)

Serbia - SciFi theme bland music 

France - pretty lady on a pretty horse, song forgettable

Cyprus - Pretty boy singing another generic ballad

Spain - They definitely had a vision

Sweden - I LIKE THE CLAWS, (isn’t this an older song?)

Albania - I like lead’s costume, forgot the song as soon as it started

Italy - Really like his voice, supposed to be inspirational? (why trampoline extras)

Estonia - ghost piano, Elsa??, super pretty voice

Finland - ALRIGHT BRINGING IT BACK, HUMAN CENTIPEDE??, CRYING WTF I LOVE IT

Czechia - I feel the lead wasn’t super strong, visuals were fun though, ponytail horror

Australia - synthwave car, visuals are way more intense than the song, SAVED IT WITH METAL

Belgium - WORK IT YAS, very fun and cool visuals, the fuck are those pants, top next to finland

Armenia - thank goodness is had a pace pickup, but not enough to save it, cool costume though

Moldova - Eye of sauron mf, great energy, FLUTIST DRAGON

Ukraine - terminator matrix, man work those screens, just a good song

Norway - haunting start, VOICE SO GOOD, rave witch queen I love her, WOW HIGH

Germany - just thank you Germany, costumes and vocals so fucking killer

Lithuania - pretty song and visuals, kinda forgettable though

Israel - Go unicorns! I guess, solid song, don’t know why it cracked me up

Slovania - good song, 70s heartthrob

Croatia - THAT SURE WAS SOMETHING, UNFORGETTABLE 

UK - this song had no chance after the last one

And watching the results, SWEDEN HOW, but at least I liked Sweden even if it’s a lukewarm yay, we all know the real winner was Finland, and I am a Norway stan it’s official

[robindoesnotloveyou]

If we only count the public vote the real winner is Finland and we all know it

[yandere-daze]

I do like Loreen and her song but like, to win? No? Like Finland was more funny,,,,, I like German entry even,,,,,, Austria idk.... It's a good song but why.....

(I think the only song that I dont like is our entry, fucking Mengoni and his sadness jesus christ why do we always send tHAT)

For real, it wasn´t a bad song but we all know who the winner should have been...

And the fact that basically the entire jury gave sweden 12 points was just so unnecessary

[mosviqu]

i loved my girlie loreen when she won the first time but we all know that this years real winners were finland and slovenia

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2024: 38 songs, first impressions

Wake up, bitches, it's that time of the year again.

No, not Christmas. It's Eurovision time, aka the time when we can verbally destroy each other and call our neighbors "filthy traitors", but in the end we would still be united against the real enemy: the jury.

As we all know, last year Sweden won but Finland caught the Snitch or, to put it simply, Finland won our hearts, but since the newly crowned King of Europe Käärijä was too busy being majestic and Finland was too busy being precious, Sweden graciously offered to host the competition for its neighbor.

Yes, this is what happened. No, you don't remember something different.

And yes, I ultimately decided to follow this year's competition. As someone said in some old post, Eurovision is a bit like that toxic relationship you can't escape from. And maybe you don't really want to escape from it.

So, since we're trapped in this hellhole, at least let's enjoy our time together with a heavy dose of sarcasm and a sprinkle of wholesomeness. Eurovision might have flaws, but nothing is perfect in this world after all.

As per every year, I always do my first listening while doing my chores, so the songs are in the background and I have no idea who sings what or from what country they're from. I just let them flow and see if something gets my attention.

And this year a lot of them did! I couldn't identify a clear winner, but I found a ton of small, beautiful gems everywhere. Oh, this year seems very, very promising.

As always, this is my first listening: many more will follow and my opinions may drastically change. So please, don't take my comments too seriously: this is all for fun.

__________

ALBANIA

Pretty nice song and pretty nice rhythm, I really like it.

But also... I've been to Tirana in January and I've listened to the songs they have there. And even if this one is very good, I would've loved more true Albanian rhythm.

Still, this will probably end in my personal playlist, so that's a plus for me.

Vote: A Titan in disguise? *Greek mythology intensifies* *Cronus intensifies*

__________

ARMENIA

We all stan a song in Armenian and if you don't, you will start doing now because yes, we have Armenian and yes, it sounds great.

So let's all thank Armenia for bringing its beautiful language - along with some nice Balkan rhythm that kept slapping me in the face.

But you know me, I'm a simple Mediterranean: I hear Balkan rhythm, I love it.

Vote: I will always be a slut for Balkan rhythms

__________

AUSTRIA

If Armenia slapped me with Balkan rhythm, Austria bitchslapped me with the whole 1990 decade.

But you know me, I am a simple Millennial: I listen to something that seems to come straight from the 90s, I dance.

Vote: We! Will! Rave!

__________

AUSTRALIA

This was... good. Just good. And the singer is good too. Maybe even too good.

Sigh, Australia forgot again that this is Eurovision. Please, someone, remind them this is the show of fire, sparkles and insanity.

Vote: "What ya gonna do in the real world?" Easy, WE! WILL! RAVE!

__________

AZERBAIJAN

Luckily Azerbaijan remembered that hey, they're the country that delivers good stuff! They should bring a good song!

And so they did and delivered us a good song, with good verses and a wonderful chorus in Azerbaijani.

The only problem is that the chorus is much better than the verses and if the song was entirely in Azerbaijani, it would've been a banger. Unfortunately, it's just good.

Vote: great job, Azerbaijan. Next time, ditch English entirely

__________

BELGIUM

"Are you still playing the game?" If you mean The Game, I think we all lost it.

Vote: +1 for the power move of making everyone lose The Game

__________

CROATIA

As soon as I started listening to it, I was assaulted by a sick rhythm. Then by a guy who tells me he's a big boy. Then by his anxiety. Then by more sick rhythm.

Then by what is probably the greatest line ever said in the history of music:

One last thing: the singer's name is Baby Lasagna. Baby Lasagna. He's speaking to my Italian heart and, even more importantly, to my Italian stomach.

And you know me, I'm a simple Italian: food is mentioned, I vibe.

Vote: my cats will vote for him

__________

CYPRUS

Oh no, please help this young lady! She forgot she's from Cyprus and she should send sick bops in Greek!

Vote: it's not a bad song at all. It's just not Cyprus-worthy

__________

CZECHIA

Oh, sorry, I didn't know this was a therapy session. I'll wait in the hall.

Vote: it's not bad, it's just... nope

__________

DENMARK

After a lot of disappointing years, finally Denmark brought a great song! The singer is good, the rhythm is good and it deserves a place in the final.

Vote: it's not in Danish, but we can't have everything

__________

ESTONIA

This song is an instant favorite. Native language, sick rhythm, adorable weirdos, all in one package.

And let me repeat that: Estonian! Beautiful Estonian language! It was such a wonderful surprise to listen to it! I literally stopped what I was doing and perked my ears because mmmh, it sounds like Finnish, but it's not exactly Finnish... what's that? And it was Estonian.

I am in love <3

Vote: pure Moldovian spirit in Estonia? I approve.

__________

FINLAND

So, let's recap:

we have a singer named Windows95man.

He wears a blurred Windows logo and no pants.

He comes out from an egg made of jeans.

The other singer isn't always in tune and he's dressed in pieces of jeans that make him look like a paperman.

He has the balls to ask if there's anything wrong with how he dresses.

The song screams of the 90s.

And then, during the performance, a pair of shorts literally fell from the sky.

With fire.

If that's not pure Eurovision, I don't know what it is.

(And before you ask: of course they cannot use Finnish, only Käärijä can and only the next Käärijä will be allowed to use it.)

Vote: Even if Finland sent the worst, most boring singer ever, for this year I would've given it a free pass. But Finns are such bosses, they decided to send this. Respect only

__________

FRANCE

And here on the right, you can see the French Frenching harder than ever.

Vote: a song named "Mon Amour". Seriously. Seriously. What will be the next one about? La Tour Eiffel? Oh wait, you already did that

__________

GERMANY

I'm mad because I already know this song will get zero points just because "iT's GeRmAnY", even if it's actually good.

Vote: thank you Germany for still sending good songs. You deserve more

__________

GEORGIA

You're "rising from the ashes like a phoenix"? Well, now I remember Conchita Wurst with Rise like a phoenix, which is way way WAY better than this song.

And since Conchita is Austrian, I also remembered the memo we got this year, which is one and one only: WE! WILL! RAVE!

Vote: more rave, less this

__________

GREECE

What? What? What do my ears hear? Greek rhythm? Greek language? And it comes together with a more modern vibe?

See, Greece? SEE? This is how you do things well. This is how you choose a good singer to represent your country. Thank you, Greece, for finally picking someone competent and not the umpteenth child.

Vote: finally, a song Greece-worthy

__________

ICELAND

I don't know why, but this song reminds me of another, more famous song. Can't exactly pinpoint which one, but it's way too familiar and I don't like it.

Vote: as soon as it was over, I forgot it

__________

IRELAND

And here on the left, you can see Ireland coming back to their roots, aka the most insane, batshit crazy stuff they have, stuff that will make you question what the heck happens on that island and if everyone's okay.

Vote: not a favorite, but it's definitely something I've never heard before. So that's a plus

__________

ISRAEL

I still have no idea why Israel is here, but I suppose that some have a free pass for killing innocents.

The singer isn't bad either, but the rhythm keeps reminding me of another, more famous song. Just like Iceland, I don't remember exactly which one, except that the famous one was better.

Vote: you shouldn't even be here

__________

ITALY

I already made a post commenting the Italian songs from this year and told a couple things about Angelina Mango and this song's meaning.

Here I can only reconfirm that this song is still a huge bop, the southern rhythm is still my Roman Empire and we may still have some chances of winning this year's Eurovision.

Vote: her southern accent my beloved

__________

LATVIA

The rhythm isn't so bad, but it's just so. Very. Forgettable.

But hey, I suppose it's good for re-listening, because I listened to it twice and both times it was like listening to it for the first time.

I didn't like it both times, but that's a detail.

Vote: just as forgettable as the Icelandic one

__________

LITHUANIA

You know, I respect Lithuania. Their songs are not my favorite, but they keep using their own beautiful language. Hence why, they deserve a place in the final.

Vote: keep showing us the beautiful Lithuanian language, I believe that one day I will find I song I like

__________

LUXEMBOURG

Do you know what I feared the most this year? That Luxembourg came back after 30 years and the song was shit. That they showed us something stale and boring.

But Luxembourg stepped in like the queen of the party and said: "Please, hold both my French and my English, because I can and I will drop something sick". And so they did.

Amazing rhythm, amazing singer, amazing return.

Vote: Luxembourg is back and wants to win

__________

MALTA

Malta is my personal Sweden. Even when they send a song I don't really like (like this one), it's just weak. I don't remember a song coming from them that I considered truly "bad".

I don't know what kind of sorcery Malta does, but it works on me every year.

Vote: Malta has too much power on me

__________

MOLDOVA

Don't worry, Moldova: you can't always be the best every year. You deserve to relax once in a while and this year you've been covered by a lot of other countries.

Vote: it's not the huge bop you would expect from Moldova, but that's okay. I'll let it pass, because Moldova always does great things for Eurovision

__________

THE NETHERLANDS

This song has a lot of amazing things.

First, the language: thank God, the Netherlands are still sending songs in their native language as it should be. It's beautiful to listen to it and I love to hear words that kinda remind me of both German and English.

Second: despite what it seems, this song isn't a satire/parody of Europe. On the contrary, it's a celebration of how open Europe is and how easy it is to travel without borders.

And it may seem normal for us because we're used to it now, but I visited Albania this January and there were a shit ton of controls and checks to do. While last time I went to Greece, all I had to do was walk down a corridor, show my ID card and everything was fine. The open borders truly are a victory for everyone who likes to travel - and a sign of how much better Europe is. So a song celebrating them is very much appreciated.

Third: the song isn't just about open borders! It's about a man remembering his parents, about how much he still misses them. And it's about his victory. In the end, he's literally telling them: look, dad and mom, I finally made it to Eurovision.

And these soft, wholesome things always get me in my cold heart <3

Vote: top of the final chart, no questions

__________

NORWAY

Let's all thank Norway for bringing the folk theme, along with their beautiful language.

I don't know what happened this year, but we are blessed by so many beautiful languages it truly seems like Eurovision and not Englishvision.

Vote: a bit too many screams, but I appreciate the enthusiasm of speaking in your native language

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POLAND

Poland learned from last year and instead of bringing another ball of nothing, they brought a song more fitting for their vibes.

It's in English tho, and that's very sad because Polish is a nice language. But at least the singer is good and in tune.

Vote: She built the tower. If it's the one from Stephen King's series, then we should have a chat

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PORTUGAL

Portugal did a miracle last year, by bringing a song I actually liked. So in order to be coherent, this year they brought another boring, forgettable song.

Vote: nothing good lasts forever

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SAN MARINO

Don't worry, people, San Marino will bring all the party vibes we need. It will take them some time to come, because they took a detour to Spain, but the vibes are still great.

Vote: maybe this year they won't be the usual traitors and give us 12 points

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SERBIA

Serbian lyrics? Yes, please!

And even if this song has some ballad vibes, it's not the umpteenth boring ballad. It's a very nice, soft song and the singer's voice is good too.

Vote: great job, Serbia

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SLOVENIA

A song in Slovenian? We stan! We all stan!

I'm not sure I like the "rrruaph!" sound, but the use of a native language and the dark vibes are very appreciated.

Vote: all these countries are spoiling us with their beautiful languages and I'm here for it

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SPAIN

Spain rarely disappoints and once again they proved it: instead of bringing the umpteenth young gal, this year they chose a more mature singer and not only she has a wonderful angelic voice, but she sings in sexy Spanish and her song is perfect dance material.

Vote: We're all zorras

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SWEDEN

Since Sweden refuses to bring something else besides the same generic pop music in English, I want to start a new trend: the Swedish Suggestion Box. Here we can all suggest much more interesting Swedish songs (or artists!). There's only one rule: they shouldn't be boring, nor generic stuff you can hear on the radio 24/7.

This year, I would like to suggest Nanne Grönvall: she's a pop singer, but she mostly sings in Swedish. I particularly recommend the songs Håll om mig, Den Vilda, and Vi är dom tuffaste.

If you have other Swedish artists or songs worthy of attention, please recommend them in the comments/reblogs! Even if the songs are in English, they're still fine! As I said, the only rule is that it shouldn't be generic and boring.

And I know Sweeden can do better than generic and boring.

Vote: Suggestions are open!

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SWITZERLAND

Switzerland is my second Sweden: even if other people might hate the songs it brings, I've rarely hated something coming from it. And if I did, it was with fiery passion. Yes, I'm looking at you, devastatingly boring 2022's entry.

So I'm very happy that this year we can all agree this is a great song, because wow. WOW. Mixing electropop with opera singing made something truly amazing to listen to and I can't wait to see if the singer manages to do it live. If he can, it will be magnificent.

Vote: fine, Switzerland, I'll forgive you for the 2022's entry. But only if you keep sending amazing stuff like this

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UKRAINE

Ukraine = quality and no one can deny it. I'm not a huge fan of this mix rap/Ukrainian rhythm they have been brought in these last years, but as long as I can listen to some nice Ukrainian language and some new vibes, I am all for it.

Vote: thank you, Ukraine, for always bringing amazing stuff

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UNITED KINGDOM

And here it is: the only country (with Ireland) that is legally allowed to use English in a song. Even if I dream that, one day, the UK will send a song in French and blow up the entirety of Europe.

The song per se isn't bad: very 90s' vibes, very dancey. But if I have to choose something with 90s vibes, I prefer the rave.

Vote: not bad UK, but could be better

[10minuta]

I love how we ALL know Finland is the real winner.