#we all know this future boy will be treated as ''The real Casey Jones'' just look at the rottmnt Casey tag

[anacecherry]

Cassandra isn't in the movie I'm killing someone

[thecomicsnexus]

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #24-26 AUGUST - OCTOBER 1989 BY RICK VEITCH

SYNOPSIS (FROM TURTLEPEDIA)

As the story begins, Master Splinter is training the Turtles. The Sensei is attempting to broaden their spiritual scope, but their warrior's hearts are still too strong to grasp the subtleties of their lessons. The Sensei probes each Turtle, to discern their strengths, weaknesses and phobias. Splinter senses that there is a weak link in their chain, and as he releases them from their training, each student bows before the master... save for Raphael, who has bound off to go swimming. Leonardo apologizes to Splinter for Raphael's behavior, and the Sensei states that perhaps they are not mature enough to grasp the next stage of ninjutsu training. Upon hearing this, the other three Turtles angrily take off in pursuit of Raph. The Master is pleased, as group pressure is one of the lessons of ninjutsu.

Leo, Don and Mike dive into the murky waters and find an underwater cave. As they emerge into the chamber, clubs in hand, they find Raphael bent over something. The three brothers approach their sibling with ill intent when Raph points out that he's found some recently hatched turtle eggs. Everyone's mood lightens as they find dozens of baby turtles swimming around their feet. The guys muse briefly about what it would be like had they remained normal turtles. As Raph investigates the shells, he finds one baby turtle stuck in the sand. When he examines it, he finds that a large leech has attached itself to the young terrapin. Raph is grossed out by the bloodsucking creature and uses a stick to remove it from the baby turtle. The other guys are amused that Raph is afraid of the leech and they attach it to his foot. Raph freaks out and yells at them to get it off of him. Leo, Don and Mike laugh and toss Raph back into the water. The three brothers run off, psyched that they finally "got Raph good!" Raphael emerges from the water and pulls the leech off of his foot. As he's about to squish the parasite, Raph decides that it's not the worm's fault for being what it is and he tosses it back to the ground, telling it to stop picking on poor, defenseless turtles. The discontented Turtle than heads off after his mirthful brothers, warning them that they'll be laughing out of the other side of their faces once he catches them.

The next day the Turtles have resumed their practice with Splinter, but they still fail to grasp the inticracies of his lesson. As the Sensei mentally scans the region, he looks for a sign that the Turtles are opening their minds... but none are able. Raphael, more than any other, struggles. As Splinter views the surroundings, he is alerted to something in the water... a large leech. It is hungry... and has a malignantly cruel and evil presence!

Master Splinter is shocked by his discovery, and involuntarily he jerks away from the vision. The violence of the Sensei's recoil shocks his pupils and sends Raphael into unconsciousness.

The next day the Turtles are lounging around the river without their Master. Leo, Don and Mike are trying to make peace with Raphael, who is angry with them for how they treated him in the cave. The boys spot a large snapping turtle swimming across the creek and are shocked when they see something attack her. The brothers dive into the water and see a very big leech. The parasite seems oddly familiar to the Turtles, and they chase it. The worm takes refuge in a small cave. Raph decides to trap the leech in the hole by blocking the entrance with his shell. Raphael then sends his brothers off to fetch their weapons, so they can dispatch the leech.

Shortly the Turtles return with Splinter. Raphael is unconscious once again, and as his family wonders what's happened now, Raph slumps forward into the water, revealing the much larger leech attached to his back, sucking fluid from the Mutant Turtle. The creature has now grown arms and legs and it rises to meet its attackers. Master Splinter tells his students to stand their ground as he focuses his mind, in attempt to connect with the beast that had disturbed his visions two days earlier... but before the Sensei can make contact, Leonardo chops it into pieces. Raph groggily awakens and Leonardo apologizes to Splinter for reacting. The Sensei tells his student that their current lessons are designed to teach them how to protect themselves with other means than blades, but hopefully the threat has passed.

The next morning the Turtles are once again practicing with Master Splinter. Yet again, Raphael is having trouble focusing his mind on the lessons. The Sensei tries to reach into Raphael's mind, but his own fear and doubt prevent him. Suddenly, Raph breaks ranks and pursues a dragonfly with childish glee. Splinter ends the lesson and Michelangelo asks why all of them must suffer when Raph acts coo-coo... the Master does not answer.

Back at the farm, April and Casey join the Turtles and Splinter for dinner. All eyes are on Raphael as his food is placed before him. Raph smiles innocently and then smashes his hand down on the plate, splattering the room, and everyone in it, with goulash. Raph bursts out laughing as the others glare at him.

As time passes, everyone is dismayed as Raph reverts more and more into a normal turtle. Splinter tells Leo, Don and Mike that the leech is responsible for Raph's condition - that it must have sucked the Mutagen out of Raph's system, and so he's returning to his original form. The Turtles will have to find the leech to save Raph, so the group head down to the river. As the TMNT search the waters, they find nothing. April asks Splinter if they can simply recontaminate Raph with Mutagen, but the Sensei points out that the canister that contained the ooze is empty and there is no way to contact the aliens from the T.C.R.I., so there is no Mutagen to be had.

As the skies darken, Casey announces that they should call it a night. The Turtles argue against it when they're interrupted by a ranger, who thinks our heroes are fishing illegally. Casey nervously points out that they're merely swimming and that his friends are trying out their new "turtle costumes." Raphael then escapes from April's grasp and swims towards the lawman's boat. As Raphael reaches the craft, the ranger reaches down and grabs the Turtle's hand.

"I just need to get ahold of you one last time, heee heee!" the game warden cackles as Raph mews in anguish.

The ranger lets Raph drop back into the water as he stands, revealing his face - it's the leech, now mutated into a bipedal monster!

The Turtles are incredulous and try to reach the creature's vessel, but it starts an outboard motor and zooms upriver, escaping their wrath. April pulls Raph's limp form from the water as Casey discovers the real Fish and Game Warden, every drop of blood sucked from his dead body. Splinter decrees that the beast stole Raphael's Mutagen to grow, but it feeds on human blood. The Sensei then names the creature "Bloodsucker."

With heavy hearts, Leo, Don and Mike recall how they had tortured Raph with the leech mere days ago. The brothers then gear up in grim determination and prepare to hunt down Bloodsucker.

"Bring it back alive and in one piece, Leonardo," Splinter advises, "It is Raphael's only hope."

Leonardo bows before his master and states, "We shall not fail, Sensei."

Casey says that he'll load up the car with "toys" and meet them upriver. As the Turtles prepare to leave, Raph mews helplessly at their feet. Each brother hugs Raphael goodbye, and the TMNT, only three in strength, set off after their enemy. April picks up the tormented Raphael and tells him that he cannot go with his brothers. Raph desperately grasps for his siblings as April kisses him, "Not this time, baby."

Splinter meditates on the shore of the river. The Sensei reaches out to his pupils; not with his mind, but with his heart, as the heart is the link to the infinite. The Master attempts to see the future, but all he finds are faces from the deep past...

Three inner city boys are set to go fishing in the polluted river. As one wonders if it's safe, his companion states, "As long as Officer Mannigan don't catch us it's cool!"

As the boys explore the dank river bed, they discover some ancient Native American carvings of odd faces. One boy frightens another with ghost stories, and says that the authorities are always finding new pictograms in this area. Sure enough, they find a new carving of a turtle. Just then the children hear the put-put-put of an outboard motor and see the game warden approaching in his boat. They take cover and the lawman passes. As the boys breathe a sigh of relief, the warden rises from behind them. Of course, this is no ordinary fish and game officer, but the hideous mutant monster, Bloodsucker! The creature grabs one of the boys and carries him off. Another lad grabs his fishing rod and casts, tripping up the monster and freeing his friend. The kids flee in terror but are quickly set upon by the beast once again. As Bloodsucker laughs and announces his plans to drain them of their vital fluids, several shurikens pound into his flesh. The creature turns to see Leo, Don and Mike, who announce their intention to take Bloodsucker back to Northampton... one way or another.

Bloodsucker tears a tree from the ground and tosses it onto the Turtles, pinning them underwater. The boys run away as the mutant parasite gloats about how it will devour each Turtle in turn and become ever more powerful.

Master Splinter still sits in meditation... he has sensed the Turtles peril and seeks out help. He arrives again at faces from the past, but they merge into the present... to a hand carving images into rock face.

Casey and April are racing down the streets. April is upset with Jones' reckless driving, but Casey assures her that he knows how to handle the local "small town cops" and brags about the hot new gear shifter that he and Raph installed. April isn't impressed and she points out that their goal is to save Raphael, who has gotten quite small and now fits comfortably on her lap. Jones announces that they'll find the slimy bug, as he speeds by a police car. The officer hits his siren and pulls out to pursue the speeding Chevy. Casey grins and prepares to shift the car into overdrive, but the gear shifter breaks off in his hand. We next see Casey pulled over, a pistol pointed at his head through the window, held by a very angry Officer Mannigan. The cop pulls Jones out of the vehicle and cuffs him after finding Casey's "Jason"-styled hockey mask. As Casey demands to know why he's being arrested, the three fishing boys arrive.

The boys tell the policeman about the monster and three giant, weapon-toting turtles, but Mannigan is dubious. April and Casey decide that they have to take action, and Casey runs away and jumps off a bridge, into the water below. Jones hits hard and loses consciousness below its surface, as Mannigan pulls April from the car. The cop asks the boys if Casey has come up yet, and the children announce that he hasn't. Mannigan couldn't care less and he orders the boys to get into his squad car, so he can check out their monster story. As the police car speeds away, the squealing tires propel Raphael off of the bridge onto the rocks below. Fortunately, Raph's shell protects him from the fall and he emerges from it mewing. As Raph spots the ancient face carvings, a figure emerges from the water carrying Casey's limp body. The man picks up Raphael, musing to himself, and then heads upriver, where he intends to speak with the "old man," who apparently knows everything.

Splinter senses that his sons have escaped their peril, and he hears a call...

Mannigan has locked up April and the boys and is calling his boss, Booder, to tell him the lads' story. Booder is not happy about the news and orders the cop to keep the boys under lock and key and to meet him pronto, with his scattergun in hand. As Officer Mannigan prepares to leave, the boys yell at him that he can't leave them alone, as it's illegal. The policeman doesn't care, as Booder's uncle is the local judge. The cop gets into his squad car and leaves his prisoners to their own devices. As April bemoans the behavior of men, one of the boys uses his fishing rod to snag the cell keys.

Casey awakes in a cavern, filled with ancient carvings. As he rises, he's met by Leo, Don, Mike and Raph (who's being held in Leo's hand). The TMNT introduce Jones to Abanak, the last surviving member of the Algonquin Nation. We learn that it was Abanak who pulled all of our heroes to safety, and then the man tells his story.

400 years ago, this area was the home of his people, and the caves they're in now were holy land. All was well and good, until Colonel Booder showed up. Booder brought an army when he arrived, and he killed the Algonquin leaders and lead the people astray. The Colonel then opened factories on the river and polluted the land and water, growing rich and powerful as he destroyed all that the Algonquin people held sacred. Abanak is all that remains of his once prosperous nation, and he lives among the caverns as a "ghost," carving the effigies of his ancestors into the walls of the caves, who appear to him in his dreams. Abanak then states that he has had a dream that he will find his destiny with the help of warrior turtles.

Abanak leads everyone deeper into tunnels, explaining that while most everyone is ignorant of the land's bloody history, the living ancestor of Booder is not. After the government had passed environmental laws that would put the factories out of business, Booder had dug secret sewage pipes to deposit the poisonous waste into the hidden underground caves. The TMNT emerge into a huge cavern and see gigantic pipes pumping bilge into the water. Michaelangelo retches at the smell and Leonardo announces that this is the most disgusting cesspool that he's ever seen. Abanak states, "We used to call it the Well of Pure Souls."

Abanak says that his destiny awaits him up in Booder's "death factories." Leo suggests that Casey should utilize his plumbing skills and plug the septic system, thus causing the pollution to back up into the factories where it originates from. Then Leonardo gives Raph to Jones to guard as the other four heroes ascend ladders attached to the pipes.

At the factory, Booder is yelling at Mannigan. Booder fears that the mutants the boys saw were created by his pollution, and he's deadly afraid that the E.P.A. will discover his secret dumping ground and ruin his business. The cop states that maybe all they saw was the Ghost, who Mannigan had shot with rock salt once. Booder states that he has also seen the Ghost, and that his family has been haunted for seven generations. The crooked businessman than declares that it's time to put an end to the Ghost. Mannigan loads his shotgun and the two set off to find the apparition that troubles them.

As the two men arrive at the main shaft, Booder's armed guard inform him that they've heard voices from below... someone is climbing up! Booder orders them to shoot to kill and takes the shotgun from Mannigan, who tries to tell his boss that it's only loaded with rock salt, but Booder is too crazed to listen.

As Abanak and the Turtles climb, the Native American thinks he hears voices from above. He and Leo move ahead to investigate. As they climb, Leonardo asks Abanak what his people would do if they were given the land back, and the man states that they would clean it up so that all could share in its bounty, as they never considered it to be just "their" land... the river and the land are not things that any man can possess, as they belong to everyone.

As Abanak finishes his statement, he is greeted by an enraged Booder, who fires the shotgun into the Native American's face. Abanak falls and Leonardo calls out to his brothers to catch him. Booder's men then open fire with automatic weapons as Booder announces a ten thousand dollar reward for "each one you bag."

Abanak is hurt, but since the gun was loaded with rock salt, his wounds aren't mortal. Gunfire rains down on the Turtles from above, though, and it is life threatening. Casey yells that he's stopped up the pipe and the waste should back up soon. Leonardo wonders what Raph would do in this situation, and determines that he would simply attack - so the Turtles do just that. The Ninja cover their approach with shurikens and make it to the top, where they whip Booder's henchmen. Booder and Mannigan attempt to flee, but the crooked businessman won't let the cop escape the fight, and he pushes him into the fray. Just then the waste erupts out of the pipe and it hits Booder square in the chest and carries him towards the edge of the main shaft. As the criminal falls, he is caught... by Abanak! The Algonquin pulls Booder to safety, stating that even he doesn't deserve to die in such a manner. Booder is shocked to find that the "Ghost" is an "Indian," and asks what Abanak expects him to do now that he's saved his life, "I should give you back your land, s-shouldn't I?" the crook queries.

"Let's start with a couple of acers!" growls Booder, as he knees Abanak in the groin, "Sucker!"

Booder than escapes to a waiting car, where he flees the factory... only to find Bloodsucker waiting in the backseat to devour him shortly thereafter.

As the factory floods with toxins, the Turtles help Casey carry Abanak to safety. As they get outside, April shows up in Casey's car. Jones is astonished that the vehicle is running, and April proudly displays the gear shift that she's fixed. Everyone piles into the car and they zoom off.

Later we see the three fishing boys as they watch the E.P.A. arriving to clean up the wasted factories. As the boys lament their parents' stupidity for letting things get so bad, they spot the '57 Chevy. April pulls up and the Turtles thank the kids for helping Ms. O'Neil escape. Abanak then hands the boys his hammer and chisel, telling them that his work is done, and asking them to take his place. The boys humbly agree to try.

April then speeds off down the highway as everyone worries about how they'll find Bloodsucker. As April steers the car towards Northampton, Bloodsucker pulls up behind them in Booder's car...

Splinter still meditates - his vision follows the river, all the way to its source, in the wilds of northern Vermont. There he finds a figure, bent with age, shining with a focus all its own, returning the Master's gaze spark for spark.

Splinter meditates, and tracks down Bloodsucker, who is working his way ever further upstream. Splinter is then carried through the swamps and wilderness to where the river is born, where he finds the aged form of The One Who Waits.

Casey and April are working on the Chevy, which has broken down again. Mike announces that they're stuck and Don informs him that Abanak has found a canoe under the brush of the nearby river. The coincidence is hard to grasp, but Abanak says that it's a sign that the Old Man is helping them, and that he saw it in a dream. The boat only carries four, so April and Casey are forced to stay with the car. The pair say that they'll get the vehicle fixed and wait for the Turtles to return. Suddenly everyone notices that Raph is missing, and a frantic search begins. Leonardo spots Raph, who is facing a weasel. Don exclaims that they have to help Raphael, but Leo refuses... for although Raph has been reverted to a pet shop turtle, he's still Raphael. Sure enough, Raph bites the weasel on the neck and the animal flees in pain.

The Turtles and Abanak head up river in the canoe. Abanak tells the boys about the Old Man, who has always been here and knows all. Abanak has seen the Old Man in his dreams and knows that he exists, and that he can help. As our heroes head upstream, Bloodsucker stalks them from the trees above. Suddenly, the canoe overturns and everyone is surprised to find thousands of fish in the stream. As Don rises to his feet, he's amazed to find that the fish have lifted him out of the water and he's riding on their backs!

"I think we're about to go for the ride of our lives!" the brainy terrapin announces.

No sooner has Donatello made his remarks than everyone is hauled upriver on the backs of the fish, water skiing without boat or line. The fish even carry the group up a waterfall! The crew is dropped off by a large, flat stone. Abanak states that this is as far as his dreams have revealed the land to him. He believes that the rock is called the Wisdom Stone, and that they should stand upon it. The Turtles are uneasy, feeling like they could be walking into a trap. Mike spots ornaments in the pine trees, and as he muses whether or not the Old Man celebrates Christmas, the stones speak to him, telling him that they were placed here by druids, long before Christianity existed. Alarmed by the talking ornaments, the TMNT back into defensive position, which places them onto the Wisdom Stone... which bursts brightly with energy.

Splinter's meditation is going badly... countless entities are assaulting him, and the Master senses a trap. As the Sensei tries to focus, all that emerges is a clear image of the Old Man...

The Old Man has appeared on the Wisdom Stone, and he explains that he has lived so long that he is now the river, and it is he. He tells the tale of an ancient, technologically advanced civilization that thrived but destroyed itself during the age of dinosaurs, and how the few that survived swore off technology and embraced the Earth, soon unlocking her deepest secrets. They learned that the rivers were conduits of planetary energy, power lines that helped them gain all knowledge of the physical world. Eventually, the survivors transcended flesh and merged with the rivers, so that there is one for each of the world's waterways... and they're still searching for knowledge, still hungry to learn all that is new.

The Turtles ask the Old Man if he can help Raphael change back, and the ancient one states that he probably could, as he's the one responsible for the regression in the first place, since he is the river and all its creatures. Just then Bloodsucker arrives. The Turtles are upset that the Old Man sent this abomination after Raphael, while the river master muses what is more of an abomination, a mutant leech, or a mutant turtle? Leonardo demands to know why the Old Man orchestrated these events, and the archaic being explains that back when the Turtles first reached his waters and longed to know what their lives would be had they remained normal turtles, he too felt their pangs, as well as his own, to know what they were... for the Turtles were the first mutants that he had ever encountered. The Old Man states that the Turtles were something new to the river, and that he must study them very thoroughly.

Donatello says that they aren't the type who like to be studied and tells the river master to change Raph back and they'll be on their way. The Old Man says that he believes Raphael is happier as he is, and that he thinks all four would be happier if they would return to their natural form. The Turtles get angry and brandish their weapons, which angers the river god... who unleashes great power throughout the entire waterway. The burst of energy also snaps Master Splinter's mind, thus giving control of the Sensei to the Old Man, who uses his newfound ability to mesmerize the Turtles.

While the TMNT stand frozen, Bloodsucker grabs them and prepares to feed on them. Abanak argues for their lives, which only angers the Old Man more. As the ancient one berates Abanak, Raphael bites him on the finger. Bemused, the Old Man tosses Raph into the river.

As Bloodsucker savors the Turtles, Raph swims over and bites him on the toe. The monster raises its leg in bewilderment, causing it to lose its balance, whereby it tumbles over the falls with all four Turtles in tow.

Abanak grows angry and tells the Old Man that he is petty and greedy, just like all the men who have sought control of the river. He lifts Leo's katana and attacks the ancient being, only to be blasted into the trees with a bolt of energy. As the Old Man is distracted by Abanak, Splinter is able to break free of the river master's psychic grasp. Splinter realizes that the power that the river holds is the power of life itself, and then he braces to make his attack.

Cut to the caverns near the city, where we see the fishing boys dutifully carving effigies in the stone. We discover that Officer Mannigan was sentenced to 20 years hard labor, and that it will take that long to clean up the river. The boys sense something and look up, to see a bolt of energy zooming up the river.

Casey and April are still working on the car. As their frustrating task nears completion, Casey feels the ground shake and they rise to see the bolt of lightning careening overhead.

Back at the base of the river, the Old Man catches the full force of Splinter's attack. The river master realizes too late that he'd forgotten about the rat... and Splinter was able to utilize the power of the river to cut off the ancient one's life-giving supply of atoms. The Old Man crawls to the shore.

Leonardo is sitting in the waterfall... he's groggy and having trouble remembering why he's here, when suddenly he's attacked by Bloodsucker. As Leo fights for his life, Michaelangelo arrives to assist him. Donatello joins the fray, but all three are overpowered and tossed aside. However... Raphael clings to the monsters face, and when the beast shakes its head to free itself from Raph's grasp, a portion of its mouth is torn free.

The Old Man struggles on shore to regain control over his failing body. Abanak emerges from the woods, and the ancient river master begs for his assistance. When Abanak states that he's no sorcerer, the Old Man tells him that he has the power, but he was never informed because the ancient one feared that Abanak would use his abilities to usurp the river master. The Old Man reverts to the form of an infant and pleads with Abanak to stop Splinter's attack. Abanak stands silently as he watches the Old Man shrink into nothingness.

Bloodsucker is holding the Turtles' heads underwater, trying to drown them. Leonardo manages to flip the behemoth and free his brothers. As Bloodsucker rises from the depths, he is attacked by a large turtle... Raphael?

Bloodsucker flees behind the falls, the giant turtle biting into his neck. As Mike and Don suggest that they should go in and help Raph, Leonardo refuses.

"This is the way he'd want it." the leader states.

From behind the falls we hear mewing... as a shadowy form begins to emerge from behind the curtain of water. Finally, Raphael bursts into sight, "Mew my arse." he growls.

The brothers embrace in glee, and they ask Raph how he did it. Raphael explains that each time that he bit into the mutant leech's hide, he felt a little better... so he continued to chow down until he'd regained all of his vital fluid back. Leonardo asks what happened to Bloodsucker, and Raph produces a normal leech... now that Bloodsucker himself had been drained, he turned back into his former self. Raph then pretends that he's going to attach the leech to one of his brothers, who all freak out. "Kill it! It's dangerous!" they scream.

Raph explains that it's harmless now and just wants to get back to its normal business, so the Mutant Turtle drops it back into the river. Just then they're confronted by a robed figure they mistake for the Old Man.

However, it turns out to be Abanak, who has assumed the role of river master. Abanak states that both of their quests have come to an end, but the Turtles demand to know who's side he's on, since he lead them into the trap. Abanak replies, "The river's." and then he conjures the fish, which carry the TMNT back to where April and Casey are. The car is finally repaired, but the fish ride isn't stopping! As they pass, the Turtles call out to their friends that they'll see them back in Northampton.

Back in the city, the boys have finished their carvings... of their own faces! They feel that this shows the world that they're serious about their duties, and they plan to protect the river from now on. Suddenly the Turtles go zooming by, and they send Abanak's greetings to the lads and tell them that they'll be contacted by the new river master soon... via their dreams.

Back in Northampton, the Turtles meet Master Splinter. They're jubilant over their victory and excited to celebrate, but the Sensei greets them with cold silence. The four quiet down nervously, and bow to their Master. Master Splinter bows back.

Perhaps they are maturing...

Meanwhile, far upstream, a glowing human embryo is caught in the current. As it struggles to escape its fate, it is swallowed by a common leech... one that possesses a distinct scar on its throat... and a half-remembered taste for the blood of the Mutant Turtle.

REVIEW

Imagine mixing Stephen King with Alan Moore. This story is a clear descendant of both (more about Swamp Thing than Moore himself). Of course, Rick Veitch was no stranger to Swamp Thing at the time, so it is an obvious comparison.

TMNT stories are usually creative and weird, and that’s their strongest feature. But this story feels like a real tale, that while still has a level of weirdness, it is indeed a full-fleshed tale.

As such, this may be the first TMNT story I have read (up to 1989) that feels different. Like a real pro actually driving the ship. It’s an interesting experiment.

I feel like this is one of the best TMNT stories I have ever read, and its place in canon is actually debatable (the guest era stories are usually non-canon, but Eastman himself said that this story fits well in canon).

Veitch’s turtles also look amazing. I am not a big fan of his humans, but here his style fits perfectly.

I understand if the similarities to famous Stephen King stories take you out of the story, but it works for me.

I give this story a score of 10.

[ricky-rampage]

Favorite Movies 2016

Ah, 2016. Honestly, the less said about it, the better. But I’m a sucker for making lists and I think I’ll always have a compulsivity to make my top ten movies list of the year until the day cinema ends (which will hopefully be never). This wasn’t a particularly great year for film; there was a lot of “okay,” plenty of “meh,” but not too much “holy effing shit where’s the bottom of my jaw?!” However, there thankfully were ten movies that tickled my fancy. They are:

10. MIDNIGHT SPECIAL--This one surprised me. It lacks a true heart, or the heart keeps bouncing around between different characters while never fully latching on, but I still found myself enthralled. The way little bits are revealed here and there always felt natural and smooth, never forced. Jeff Nichols is skilled in nuance, which has been hit or miss for me with his past work. This is the first time I really got what he was going for. Now he just needs to inject some heart into his stories and he’ll be a master (I’m hoping Loving accomplishes this).

9. THE NICE GUYS--While it’s no Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, it’s still a worthy entry into the buddy cop mystery movie. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling’s chemistry sparkles. The dialogue is original and hilarious. There’s a star turn from young Angourie Rice. It kind of devolves into standard shootout flare by the end, but the journey up to that point was pure entertainment.

8. MANCHESTER BY THE SEA--Though I wish I was more emotionally affected by this film, it’s still a very well done and well acted take on grief. It’s one of those movies where not a lot really happens, but everything happens. Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams and Lucas Hedges are all amazing, and the dialogue is some of the most realistically funny writing I’ve seen uttered on screen in a long time.

7. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR--I think this is the most thematically resonant entry into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, especially in this sudden era of fake news. We believe the story with which we’re being presented, even when we don’t have all the facts. It’s about perspective. When it comes to clashing perspectives, communication is key; having a dialogue about issues insures a healthy debate and hopefully a satisfying compromise. When it’s superheroes having the debate, though, dialogue is tough and everyone ends up brawling at an airport hangar. Don’t forget this is popcorn fodder, but it was my favorite popcorn fodder of the year.

6. KUBO & THE TWO STRINGS--a visually astounding work of art. Watching this film just gave me a sense of joy that other animated films didn’t give me this year (I’m looking at you, Finding Dory, you and your pointlessness). This is a tale about a storyteller who finds himself in one of his own stories, becoming the hero he never knew he was born to be. A lot of it is silly, but most of it is fun, and all of it is beautiful.

5. THE WITCH--Funny story, I went to go see this a week or two after it came out with my friend, Sean, but we only stayed in the theater for about thirty minutes because of the worst film audience I’d ever experienced. Someone behind us was translating the whole film to his friend from English to Spanish, a mentally disabled man in front of us kept laughing at inappropriate times and shaking his head violently back and forth, and overall, your run-of-the-mill talking and cell phone usage from everyone else. Months later, I watched the movie on Amazon, and it was great. The end.

4. ARRIVAL--The thinking person’s alien invasion movie. This doesn’t have to rely on special effects or big action. This is a story about understanding one another that just happens to have aliens and special effects in it. Amy Adams gives an understated performance as a linguist caught in the middle of a mystery that almost everyone else sees as having a cut-and-dry solution. Jeremy Renner and Forrest Whitaker are just kind of there, but who cares? This is Adams’ story. A story of her character understanding her past, present, future, and herself. And it has aliens.

3. MOONLIGHT--So rarely does a movie come along that feels so un-Hollywood. Something that just comes off as HUMAN and never becomes melodramatic or dull. Moonlight pulls it off in strides. The story of a boy, then an adolescent, and then a man, and what it means to be all of them, sometimes all at once (I guess that only really applies for the last one, but it’s still there). Chrion is a character caught in the middle of too many worlds and I felt his uncertainty as he does his best to explore who he really is. Never exploitative, always real, Moonlight is kind of amazing.

2. LA LA LAND--This movie should not have been as remarkable as it is. It’s a fairly standard story, it’s a cheesy musical, and it’s not based on any preexisting material, which in this day and age, we know is a big no-no *barfs and dies*. But somehow, everything in this movie is near perfection. The songs: catchy and wondrous. The direction: Damien Chazelle, you are a god among insects. The performances: nothing flashy from Emma Stone or Ryan Gosling here, but I believed everything they did, including breaking into song and dance. All at once, La La Land is a tribute to classic cinema, a glimpse into where cinema is heading, and a time-honored tale of pursuing your dreams and the sacrifices that come along with that pursuit.

1. A MONSTER CALLS--This happens every year: my two favorite movies come down to what affects me emotionally and what wows me with its sheer filmmaking prowess. And like every year, the emotional film takes the cake. A Monster Calls caused me to suppress literal howls in a crowded theater, and I know I’m not the only one who experienced such a sensation. Ugly, ugly tears, and I’m grateful for every single one. Even if you haven’t experienced the tragic loss of a loved one, A Monster Calls is incredibly effective thanks to its beautiful performances from Felicity Jones, Sigourney Weaver and young stand-out Lewis MacDougall. It hooked me, reeled me in, and continues to squeeze me tightly in a comforting embrace (you know, like you usually do with fish). That’s why it’s my favorite film of the year.

Movies I didn’t manage to see in time: Silence, Sing Street, Hell or High Water, 20th Century Women, The Founder, Hunt For the Wilderpeople.

Favorite performances of the year: Hailee Steinfeld in The Edge of Seventeen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Nocturnal Animals, Lucas Hedges in Manchester By the Sea, Emma Stone in La La Land, Dan Fogler in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Special Jury Prize: Paint It Black. I’m not sure when this will get an official release, but I saw it at the Mill Valley Film Festival and it’s a disturbing treat.

Now for five movies that kind of stunk. Well, more than kind of. A few of them burned my sinuses away.

-1. X-MEN: APOCALYPSE--Out of the near two and a half hour runtime, I’d say there’s barely ninety minutes of actual story here. The rest is plodding, (not very good) effects-driven schlock and fan service. It lacks purpose; it’s just sort of there.

-2. THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN--Hitchcock you are not. Even Gone Girl you are not. Shit, you’re barely Hollywood Homicide (how’s that for a reference?).

-3. BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE--Can anyone tell me what this movie was about besides franchise building? No? Moving on then.

-4. SUICIDE SQUAD--Is this film the perfect example of A) studios interfering with a director’s vision, B) a film believing it can get by on massive hype while remaining limp and unnecessary, or C) just pure dumbness? I’ll go with D) all of the above.

-5. INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE--I’ll quote from my review from last summer because I don’t want to waste any more brain power coming up with new ways to shit on this piece of shit: “...a slapdash string of CGI vomit, shoehorned references to the first film for nostalgia’s sake, and not a lick of emotional depth whatsoever.” So. Fucking. Worthless.

Please be good, 2017. Pretty please. All the cherries on top.