#we are a buffing machine

[willosword]

bouta go fight mr roth :] here's my team

[tojisun]

she wanting more

!! smut - minors dni; f!reader; unrealistic sex!! and its v short bc its just a messy drabble :3 // toji ver <33 // divider by @/plutism!!

thinking about neighbour!simon and how he deliberately wears skin-tight white shirts for him to shrug off whenever he mows his lawn because he knows you’re watching from your kitchen window.

thinking about how he also keeps inviting you to his house every game night.

simon has his other friends over but his full attention is always on you — it doesn’t matter if his team is making their play, all he is focused on is you. he’s a little possessive too: he always has an arm ‘casually’ looped around you or thrown over your chair; always has his head inched towards you to hear you better; always refills your drink or offers you food; always making small talk about your work and your week and everything and anything in between.

thinking about neighbour!simon coming over to fix your sink or your washing machine or to help you clean your pool. you greet him by the door and he’s leaning on the post, his bulging arms crossed over his chest, his lips tugged in a lazy smile.

“hey, darlin’,” he greets. “lemme check what’s bothering a sweet thing like you.”

you giggle, fiddling with the hem of your shorts. “oh, you,” you mumble, trying to ignore the tingle in your cheeks. then you swivel and tilt your head for him to follow you in.

simon grunts but he doesn’t move. not yet, anyway. he lets you walk ahead of him to watch the way you strut back into the comforts of your home. he savours the way your hips sway, your pyjama shorts softly riding up with every rub against your thighs. he waits with bated breath, knowing what’s coming next.

his need bloats when you bend over to pick up guest slippers for him, your shorts hitching up enough to have your red lace panties peak through. simon almost whimpers when your shorts kept riding higher, leaving the the fat of your ass exposed. christ, he breathes in sharply, you look absolutely ravaging.

he doesn’t even hide the desire in his eyes when you turn to look at him because he knows. oh how he knows that you deliberately tease him only to act coy after. he knows that you like him just as much.

your neighbour turns into a fucking monster when the pretense finally pops, and drills you, hard, in mating press. simon has always wanted to fill you with his cum; has always wanted to stuff you full and leave you drunk off of his cock and his spunk. he has always wanted your tits pressed flat against his; has always wanted his lips locked with yours. it doesn’t matter if you can’t even kiss him back with the way your lips are stretched as moans and squeals and sobs fall from them because simon has always wanted it messy.

he has always wanted to see you ruined of him.

“sii!!” you squeak after the aborted ah-ah-ahs, your hands scratching at his back in an effort to ground yourself from the dizzying pleasure. “so deep! so deep!”

simon laughs as he continues to humps your pussy, dragging his cock at your walls with every erratic thrusts. “yeah? y’ feel me reaching so far in you, huh? y’ve never been fucked like this, haven’t you sweetheart? haven’t been filled properly the way this pussy deserves? oh, doll,” he croons, his lips tugging up in a grin so mean it makes you sniffle.

“well, here’s good news for you — y’r needy cunt will never be lonely again.”

sooooo i kept rereading the toji ver bc it fit simon sm :(( so i buffed it up and made it fit him and here we are!

[lostintransist]

Hell's Spawn | Do You Think My Boot Would Fit Up Your Ass?

Part 1 | AO3

CW: Minor burns, exhaustion

Krueger witnessing your relationship death, a marlin gasping for air on the deck of a boat, flashed through your mind at least once a day. Like the white man ripping the great beast from the depths, he witnessed your ending when nature intended it to be a quiet affair.

Ruminating didn’t help you feel better. Planning though? That helped. Krueger seemed, and let’s be honest all four of them, seemed to thrive on attention. Horangi didn’t piss you off, though he did seem to flourish under the smiles you gave him. Since it pissed off his teammates it made it all the more appealing to do. Krueger would be getting no attention whatsoever and if the cafe was empty you might invite one of them into the kitchen. Thinking it over Horangi wouldn’t irritate him badly enough but Nikto had yet to give you anything to work with other than the fact he liked to stare at your ass. That left König.

The lip curl that the thought of inviting König behind the counter brought nearly made you reconsider the plan. Each man reminded you of a war machine. It helped that you knew they were actually often in war zones since your boss’s boyfriends did the same thing for the UK government. König though? He commanded the machines and he was a pig about women.

The snide comments about being in the kitchen where women belong, or about needing a man to take care of you had you grinding your teeth to not rip into him. Each time he came in it got worse. He only ever commented in front of other customers. Maybe he wanted to rile you up and see what finally made you snap; almost as if he were twisting a wind-up doll a click too far. Taking a ceramic cup to his face, even if you could reasonably patch it back up, would life harder. Your boss knew how these men could be but you doubted her leniency would bend that far.

Already rubbing your eyes and wishing for close at ten you fought back a groan when the door opened and they arrived. The shop had been dead. A Tuesday after a bunch of recruits shipped off to different bases, the bars were also pretty quiet. You called to check, if you went two hours without a customer you could close up early. Ten-fifteen would have been two hours.

“Y’all have the worst fucking timing you know that? I was fifteen minutes away from being able to lock up early and actually get to sleep in my own bed tonight.”

König, the cocky bastard, had to comment.

“You could sleep in my bed,” his eyes drifted over the parts of you he could see over the counter.

“Anyone else have any…pleasant…offers?”

Horangi laughed while both Nikto and Krueger stared daggers at König.

“You know what? Nikto, go and lock the door. Flip the sign-off while you’re at it. If we don’t have anyone here beyond you four we aren’t getting anyone else tonight.” Waving your hand you gestured for them to go and sit. “I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

“Think about us often? Have our drinks memorized,” Krueger settled his hands in his pockets.

“Know what? König, come and help me in the kitchen. The rest of you go sit,” you turned as you finished speaking.

For being such a persistent asshole the possibility of an opportunity seemed a bit hard for him to grasp. Keeping your eyes on your task of readying four cups for black coffee you wait until the others have shuffled off to the table before addressing him again.

“Do you not fit through the opening?”

Your snarky question sets him in motion. He ducks slightly as he enters the kitchen. The headspace opened back up again for him.

“I know somewhere that would be a tight fit.” The insinuation couldn’t go unchallenged.

“Do you think my boot would fit up your ass? These babies are pretty large for a woman,” you lift your foot, showing off your resoled boots that are laced up over your ankles. The dark red leather needed to be buffed again. “You’re such a big asshole I bet it will fit with enough force.”

Before König can fire off a rebuttal Horagi appears, ducking into the kitchen.

“As interesting as that would be to see,” he scans the room and heads to the corner where a stool has been collecting dust. His interruption is enough to stop you from committing to inserting something without a flared base.

“I am going to run these out and then will come back and teach you how to make me a latte,” you fill the tray with two black coffees, creamer and sugar. The two of them are still on the counter. “If you’re going to insist on continuing to bother me at work the least you can do is learn how to make me something.”

Lifting the tray you leave the room, ignoring the snarling behind you about how König is a man and can make a damn latte. Leaving the kitchen and turning the corner you find Krueger and Nikto set up at a table halfway across the cafe. Both men tracked you as you walked closer. The clattering of metal on tile reached your ears as the tray touched the table.

Cursing you turn away from the man who had yet to speak to you and the one who needed to be ignored and head back into the kitchen.

How that man managed to create such chaos in the moments you were gone will forever astound you. The steamer blasted, milk lay splattered on the floor, a metal cup in the puddle, and König stood with a hand cradled to his chest. Without a word, you start to fix the problems he created by his inability to wait.

Leaning over the puddle you turn off the steamer, silence now the dominant sound in the space. Stepping on dry patches of the floor you use a technique your mom always used when you were small to force your body to move. Settling your thumb over the meat of König’s uninjured hand you twist, pinching the nerves in the wrist. The big man had little flexibility in his wrist; he moved where you aimed him.

Forcing him to stand next to the handwashing sink, you turn the water on. When the water runs tepid, nearly body temperature you shove his hand under it. The whole of his palm is an angry red. Bastard must have held the cup around the sides instead of the tiny handle. Once he is settled you head further back into the kitchen and ready the mop. Might as well mop the whole floor and check that off the closing duties list. Once the bucket is ready you wheel it out and grab the first aid kit on the way.

You drop the kit on the counter and begin by mopping up the milk mess and working your way over to Horangi.

“Can I have your number?” He asks from the stool he commandeered in the corner of the kitchen.

“Sure. Pass me your phone?”

Holding Horangi’s phone in your hand you glance at König. A silent alarm had been triggered in your brain. He is where you left him, handheld under the running water. Eyes like shards of glacial blue stab at you across the kitchen.

“What? Keep your hand under the water for two more minutes,” you point with your chin and turn back to your task.

Four numbers are entered before his low muttering has you turning fully around to yell at him.

“I can’t hear you. If you have something nasty to say, speak up!”

König glares at you, your ugly stare comes out to match. A three-count passes before he admits defeat and looks down at his hand. You can only imagine at the mulish look splattered across his face. Looking back to the phone you erase the number you already entered and angrily slam your thumbs on the screen.

“That’s what I thought. If you want my number you gotta fix those misogynistic attitudes. When you can look at me and see a person and not a dick hole, I’ll think about discussing it.”

Number entered you pass the phone back to Horangi, who watches you with amusement in the lift of his cheeks beneath his mask and the tilt of his brows.

“What?” You snap at him.

He lifts both hands, one still holding the phone.

“Nothing. Never seen anyone put our colonel in his place so easily.” He is grinning even as he says it.

Without turning to look at him you point back at König, intention in every line of your body.

“He wants to touch, he pisses me off for no fucking reason, I would break him like a twig if his wrist weren’t the size of my ankle. He will behave because otherwise he will get ignored like Krueger is right now.”

“What did he do?” Horangi is gleeful as comprehension lights his eyes.

“None of your fucking business.”

Horangi’s eyes slide from your face to König’s in that sly kind of conversation that happens when you learn to speak the unspoken with another person. Snapping your hand before his gaze you lean forward.

“Fucker, if you don’t include me in conversations about me I will stop being nice to you.”

He stands, looming over you. Man could kill you but you would leave psychic wounds before you quit breathing. You had learned weapons as words at the breast of a narcissist. Four, five, six seconds pass and the only sound is that of the running water cooling König’s burn.

“You done?” Lifting a brow at him you settle your hands on your hips.

König busts into a small laugh behind you and Horangi is once again your friend and not a killer who leaves only a red mist behind him.

“She would survive a battalion of grandmothers.”

Horangi snorts and rolls his eyes before addressing you.

“We weren’t discussing you, but Krueger. He has been snappish since we were here last. Gotten into more fights and training harder than is needed,” he looks you up and down. “Seems you are the reason for the change in him.”

Humming you turn and head toward König, grabbing a towel along the way. You lower the water pressure before forcing his burned hand where you want it. Scrubbing your hands clean you rinse the soap before washing his. Rinsing the suds off you kill the water.

“I told Krueger to quit smoking, he smelled like a men’s bathroom.” All your focus is on patting dry the bubble without rupturing it.

König and Horangi both muttered something under their breaths, but the conflicting sounds of Austrian German and Korean entered your ears as verbal spaghetti.

Slathering petroleum jelly along the wound you lay a sterile bandage across it and wrap it with a layer of cohesive bandage. Why the fuck was there cohesive bandage in the first aid kit? Setting that thought aside for later you rub your eyes again. Uncaring of the deep pressure that caused lights to ignite in your eyes you knew if they didn’t leave soon you would end up falling asleep on the office floor.

“Leave that on tonight and follow up with your provider tomorrow. Now get out of the kitchen I need to finish closing duties. I can’t mop the floor if you are going to walk all over it.”

“Why do you ignore Nikto?” Horangi asked. Neither of them moved.

Lifting your hands away you take several seconds to blink away the vision issues.

“I’m not ignoring him, but if he doesn’t say anything I’m not willing to start a conversation.”

Both men give a grunt of confirmation and squeak across the floors as they leave the kitchen. Thankfully most of your closing duties were done and anything you couldn’t reasonably get to you would text Quinn a heads up. He offered often to help since he knew how hard you were working to get through school. Said his sister was in her first year of med school and wished he could help her more.

That last blink must have taken a long time because when you open your eyes again all four men are watching you from beyond the display glass.

König spoke for the group.

“John will be here soon to drive you home. Nikto sanitized all your tables.”

Another slow blink.

“Kay,” pushing off the counter you didn’t realize you had leaned against, you gesture for them all to move out the door.

The lock clicking home is your queue to turn and lay your head down on a cleaned table, John would come in when he arrived. He had a key. It wouldn’t be the first time one of your boss’ guys had driven you home due to exhaustion.

Hell Masterlist | Masterlist

@demothers-empty-blog

[talenlee]

4e: The Pinball Wizard

Back in the heydays of the 4th edition community being a community that all met on a single forum and shared a common lexicon and all that, there were phrases, truisms, slang and tropes we recognised and used to speed our way through conversations. This was true of 3rd edition too, since the community was actually, broadly speaking, the same thing, but that community kind of uprooted itself and moved on to other places, while the 4th edition remnant seems to have not really coalesced in a subsequent form. We don’t really have a 1d4chan or Brilliant Gameologists or deeply intimidating Pathfinder Subreddit as places to scare people off, and instead it’s stuff like…

Well, this blog post might get shared on the subreddit. Hi reddit! I like you even if we don’t agree about Blackguards!

Anyway, thing is, there are things that now have no meaning except their place in 4th edition conversations, and are functionally un-googleable because they’re very generic ways of just using words, or maybe, were named after something else. Back in City of Heroes there was a powerful supergroup known as the Green Machine, that was entirely team-buffing healers that refused to heal, and that’s not a term you can search for meaningfully. Another group that existed and that shares its title with today’s subject was a group of kinetics, where everyone could use powers to make everyone else fire off at super speed, showing you don’t need good powers if you can fire off your best powers every second.

They called themselves the Pinball Wizards, and now, if you go look for what that means in 4th edition D&D you kinda find nothing.

Here’s the story of one of the more distinct power level errata of D&D 4th edition, where in 2011, a single sweeping change to the way the rules worked destroyed a strategy and in the process brought something ridiculous down to merely really good.

This build was a combination of two basic parts, which were well and strictly defined under 4th edition rules. The first is zones. A zone is an effect, made by a power with the ‘zone’ keyword so you knew where to look for it, that looks at that area for some reason. Some zones are used for things like a healing aura, or a space that a character can move around in freely, but very commonly, a zone is used to represent an effect that’s bad that lasts. This can be a bunch of falling shards of glass, a cloud of toxic venom that hovers in a space, or a ground teeming with sharp, jagged vines on thorns.

Zones are extremely cool, make no mistake, and they tend to fall into the toolkit of the Controller. Controllers want to deprive enemies of actions, and zones are a great way to give enemies a bad choice: Stay in an area to do something they want to do, or spend actions getting out of it. Since zones do a good job of representing effects like rings of fire, or clouds of poison, or raining ice, it’s stuff that hits the wizardy feeling of editions past.

The other part of this is forced movement. 4th edition had a family of these effects known by their more specific names of push pull slide, but these are ways to change where enemies are positioned and everyone who complains about fighters in 4th edition is usually complaining about these and they are cowards. These effects show up everywhere, but undeniably, if you’re looking at the people who will do the most of them, you want controllers.

The build that worked out of this was known as the Pinball Wizard. You played a Wizard who used one of a number of long-lasting powers that created a zone that did something dangerous when someone entered it. Then you used your other powers to slide something in and out of that zone over and over again. Wizards got more than a few powers that did slides, and they got access to items and feats that improved their slides. You could use a slide effect to turn two squares of slide movement (and we’re talking like, 4-8 squares for builds that are trying) into like, 40 damage.

At level 2, when tanks are happy to have 40 hit points.

Anyway, you might be thinking the sensible solution is to make it so that these zone powers are limited in how often they can have their effect – and it kinda makes sense, narratively, in the context of the world, right? Like, an enemy or person isn’t going to breathe more if they run back and forth through a poison cloud.

In 2011, Wizards released an update to the compendium that added that rules information to every single damaging zone power in the game, with a note of the when, and an article explaining why they did it. It was a perfectly reasonable rules update made through a digital system they had and realistically speaking, the only thing to mourn is that there’s now no good reason to ever let a player get away with this use of these powers together, because it’s pretty silly.

The system that was left after this change was obviously a better system. It had a clear, specific template that it could use thereafter and while it did lose some edge cases, it was implemented thoroughly and comprehensively in a way 3rd edition almost never managed to execute. This was because of a central control system, the compendium, but it also spoke to a problem that a game normally about disconnecting and engaging with a very material play space was going to have to confront head-on.

Basically: This kind of errata existed in the rules, sure, and if you download a rules compendium, every power that can be changed mentions the 2011 change. But the books don’t. The books still have the rules change and to learn how the game works, you have to know it. Or you have to use a digital compendium, which presents a new problem for a game that is meant to work with paper and dice.

These were inevitable evolutions of technology and they interest me because they kinda present problems and solutions at scale. The actual problem of a wizard stacking a bunch of redundant effects together to kick an enemy through the boundary of their zones as a single incident was not a meaningful problem to a table. If it’s a problem, it’s a problem that has an administrative option to work with – the Dungeonmaster can look at it, and decide it’s too good and talk to the players about it. That problem is solvable almost instantly if everyone in the group and game has a good relationship and respects the DM.

But if you made the game, you don’t have a problem that can be solved on the spot. You have a problem of all the players, in a communal space, who bring it up and ask if it makes sense and consult with one another and now you have the problem that looks like at scale your product has a flaw and you need to address it to make that flaw not look like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Oh, what makes a good game is important here, it isn’t not important.

It is neither a good thing nor a bad thing.

It is a thing that few games get, not really, unless they’re very big, and trying to do a lot. It’s barely something that even the next tier down of games need to care about. Errata happens, people care about making the books better. But most people don’t have a comprehensive central database where they can update all the powers that use a particular wording.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[adelheidvonschicksal]

hiii!! how are you? god, it's my first time requesting and I'm super awkward but I've been kinda having this dark mc brain rot! what would the love and Deepspace boys do with a secret gambler mc who's just like yumeko jabami? that'd be so interesting! feel free to ignore this ask if that makes you uncomfortable and have a nice day!

🎲 LND Scenarios with Dark Gambler!MC

🎲 Synopsis: Love and Deepspace men dealing with their dark gambler partner's eccentrics.

🎲 Pairing: LND x GN!Reader

🎲 Content Warning: sexual undertones, mild humor, no pronouns/looks mentioned (Jabami is for the aesthetic), Zayne is the only one vibing, there's no mercy in kitty cards!

🎲 A/N: Thanks for letting me take a crack at your request. I never watched Kakeguri but I think I got the vibe! I did tone the behavior down a little to fit LND more but I think you'll be satisfied. Zayne's part turned into my favorite even though I had the hardest time thinking of a scene for him!

“Let me have a turn.”

Xavier shudders at the dark aura he senses behind him despite the sweet smile plastered on your face. It’s almost like seeing a demon reflecting in the glass of the claw machine but in the form of an angel. He knew it was a bad idea to come to the arcade. He was no good at the machine no matter how much he tried and the nearly empty bowl where his tokens once laid was the proof.

“It’s alright. I didn’t think I could get it anyway. I’m not really good at this game.”

You frown at him. “It’s not you, love. These games are designed to cheat people out their money. It's disgusting really.”

Xavier gulps at that word. Cheat. If there was one thing you hated in this world, it was unfairness. The crooked smile forming on your face forces him to return eye contact with the special edition bunny plush he’s failed to get time and time again. Somehow, he sees fear in its eyes.

“I’ll get it for you.” Your hand reaches into the coin bowl; each clink makes his throat tighten as you finally pull out one of the coins between your fingers. “That bunny will be coming home with us.”

Xavier knows there’s little he can do when you sound that determined. Luckily, you won the bunny in two attempts.

“Ta-da! A fluffy bunny for my fluffy bunny.”

A sense of relief washes over him when the round rabbit hits his hands. Maybe he was being overly paranoid. However, his relief is quickly buffed out by anxiety when he sees you place another coin in the machine. It’s only a few seconds before the chimes of the machine go off again. Then, you pass him another toy, a carrot this time.

“Every bunny needs a snack!” you coo, but your tone carries that familiar edge that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand. “Now, whom shall we capture next?”

To Xavier, it sounds less like a question and more like a decree of war. “I think these two are more than enough for today."

“Xavier, this game stole forty dollars from you. I’m not going to let it get away with that,” you declare, proving it was just as he feared as your voice lowers. “Now, which one do you want, dear? Oh, I know, I'll just win them all for you! How does that sound?" you ask, but Xavier is eerily aware that it won’t matter what he says when you’re like this.

“Here we go!” you mewl as the claw begins to whir up.

Ignoring the shiver that climbs up his spine when your voice drips with the venom of ecstasy, there’s little Xavier can do but take another step back, buy another bowl of coins, and hold them for you as the role of a supportive boyfriend.

It’s an hour later when he finds himself surrounded by plushies, much more than he can hold, and the fear that you’re going to get kicked out the arcade any second.

“Cleaned out again!” you announce with a shrill breathy gasp, the giggle you give reminding him of the maniacal laughter Lemonette chortles out whenever the wanderer sprays lemon juice in his eyes. “Tell the employees we need another refill.”

“We don't have enough hands to carry all the ones you already won.”

“What?” Your focus finally breaks from the game and to the many toys scattered on the floor around him, overtaking his feet, then to the worried look on his face. “I went overboard again, didn’t I?”

Xavier sighs. “I think that’s pretty obvious.”

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

“How do you suggest I do that?” he asks with a shake of his head. “You’re impossible to stop.”

You flutter your eyelashes at him innocently. “I did get you your bunny though!”

“At the cost of the poor arcade owner’s precious sanity,” he reminds you but the smile on his face is less than scolding when he sees the guilty sulk you have and the lax of your shoulders. “Let’s find a donation center to drop these little guys off. We’ll count it as our good deed for the month.”

“Good idea! How about we surprise all the kids at the hospital?” you agree. Xavier chuckles. There’s the angel again.

“Pretty please, Rafayel!”

The painter rolls his eyes, scooting further away from you to find a different spot on the floor to sit as you crawl after him. Rafayel turns his head away and strokes his paintbrush down the center of his canvas.

“No. Now, go away. Shoo. Shoo, go paw at someone else,” he says, waving the wet paintbrush at you.

“But no one else will play with me,” you whine.

“I wonder why?”

You are terrifying when you play kitty cards. Unfortunately, he was once the only one foolish enough to play with you because he wasn’t aware of how you got when you gambled even when the winnings were only a few pieces of chocolate. He knows better now. Despite your cute precious face, you were evil incarnate when it came to games.

“Surely, you pity me my dear sweet, gorgeous boyfriend. Did I forget to mention talented?” You give him the puppy eyes to try to wear down his resolve; your hand glides over his bangs, lovingly pushing them from his face. As much as he loves trying to make you happy, this is one of the few things in the world that he refuses to listen to you about.

“As true as all of that may be, I prefer living thanks,” he says before switching brushes to another color. A splash of blue would be excellent.

“Is this about last time?” you ask him. “It was an accident.”

“You nearly broke my hand!”

“You were trying to swap the kitties!” you yell back. Rafayel was a no-good cheater when it came to playing games and not the least bit sorry about it. It’s not your fault that you grabbed his hand by reflex nor that he was so dramatic about it.

“So, the sentence is hand breaking? That's cruel and unusual punishment!” he says with a gasp.

"Is it wrong to take away your tool for cheating?"

“Have you forgotten what I do for a living? You might as well lay me out in the sun to dry.”

Sighing, you decide to agree with him. You suppose you could be a little competitive when it came to games. Besides, they say it’s easier to catch more flies with honey. “Look, I’m sorry, baby,” you apologize and smooth out a hand over his thigh. “How about I give you a super special prize if you win.”

Rafayel barely looks at you from the corner of his eyes that slowly drop to where your hand rests on his leg. You’re on your hands and knees next to him, perched up like a cat begging to be petted.

“I’m listening,” he says, continuing to mix his paints. Purring, you lean in and whisper in his ear the prizes you’re willing to trade for him to play one little round with you.

His heart races with each word. It’s suddenly becoming harder to keep the stroke of the brush straight when your hand starts to trail further and further up his thigh. “Well, when you put it that way—” and he almost gives in until he sees the corner of your lips curling up into a smirk. “Wait. No. I refuse.”

“Not even if—” and you whisper in his ear again. He swears the brush handle will splinter if he grips it any tighter. His face is glowing a light red by the time you pull away. He might be Lumerian but he’s still a man; it’s difficult to bury the memories of pleasure under the memories of his fingers squeezing in your hard grip the last time you caught him cheating. He manages, somehow.

“How easy do you think I am? I’m not open for business whenever you want, darling.” He manages to spat out, not exactly the best rejection but it’ll suffice.

You puff up your cheeks at him. “You’re the meanest boyfriend ever!”

“And you’re evil when a card gets in your hand,” he argues back. The last thing he sees is the red of your shirt as you pounce on him and blue paint spilling across the floor.

“You’re so nice, Zayne. You’re the only one who's brave enough to play against me.”

Zayne glances up from the stack of cards in his hands to catch your tongue glancing over your lips to wet them as you stare him down with dilated eyes. He expected you to get worked up but not quite this early into the game.

“I had the free time today.”

The real reason he schedules these regular games with you is to keep your strange habit under control, like providing a little bit of a drug to an addict; or in simpler terms, walking an overly energetic Husky so it won’t tear up the furniture. It beats the many times you ring him up at two in the morning, needing him to come rescue you out of a tough situation. He knows you’ll never learn your lesson with him always swooping in when needed, but he can’t stand the possibility of you getting hurt should he not come to your rescue every time you over bet your hand and need him to win back your money for you. The doctor never really expected to be a poker or kitty card expert at this age but alas.

“I’m guessing there’s at least one Kitty Plot in your hand, am I right?” you ask him; and he doesn’t understand how you sound more excited each time he obtains another assist card.

“And if I told you there was?”

The giggle you let out sounds much too vulgar for a simple game of kitty cards, but he’s used to this eccentricity of yours at this point. “Then that means I get to beat you even when you’re at your best!”

You slap down a Freeze card and Skip card. There’s not much he can do other than draw his assist card and ride out your next turn. In the next phase, you throw out another assist card, one that will allow you to restock your empty number stockpile and seal your victory.  

“Any last words?” you ask him. He can see that you’re starting to twitch with the excitement that comes from besting him. It’s the most dramatic thing he’s seen, but he’d be a liar to say it wasn’t…satisfying…to watch your face fill with shock as he blocks your finishing move with a Meow This. Maybe you were rubbing off on him after all, he muses.

“You held on to that all this time?” you ask him, recalling the many chances he could’ve blocked your earlier plays. You were aware he was luring you into a trap by playing the slow game, but you thought you could get around it this time. With a dreamy sigh, you cup your cheek in your hand. “I should’ve known. Just careless.”

“Any last words?” he asks, mocking your earlier victory line.

“None I’m afraid. I’m completely at your mercy; helpless in the face of your onslaught,” you tell him, and he ignores the little tilt of seduction lacing your voice and the squirming of your thighs as he starts erasing every point you’ve earned.

Slowly, your points decrease one by one as he throws out assist after assist while you let out little whimpers and mutter compliments under your breath with each cup color change and point reducer he throws out.

You’re going to lose! Again! He’s incredible as always.

But you’re offered deliverance when instead of erasing the six points of your blue kitty the cup color changes to match it. You hear Zayne “tch” under his breath, and you can’t help but laugh when he finally has to give up and fill the last white kitty cup with a pathetic low-level kitten.

In the end, you only won by two points but that was all you needed.

“I won…I won!” you repeat, rocking back and forth as you hug yourself and toss your head back. “I finally beat you! You won’t believe how long I waited for this day! Now what should my prize be?” You fall back onto the floor, kicking your feet. “It’s so hard to decide. I honestly didn’t think this day would come! There are so many things I’ve dreamed of making you do for me!”

Zayne presses his lips into a thin line as he begins to collect the kittens from the cup. “Calm down. You’re drooling on the carpet,” he exaggerates, not that you're in the right mind to listen.

“I got it. I know just what I want,” you squeal, holding your finger in your mouth to muffle your laughs. Zayne tenses when you sit up, much like a vampire from a horror movie, and lock eyes with him; he doesn’t think he’s felt so targeted since his days in the military.

“Meow for me, Zayne,” you demand, and his face burns at the ridiculousness of your request.

“You—”

“Are you backing out? That’s poor sportsmanship especially considering I took every nasty medicine each time you won.”

Zayne shakes his head. “No. I was simply thinking that’s surprisingly tame for you.”

You lift your eyebrows curiously. “So, does that mean?”

Zayne leans in over the table. In this position, he can see how your face softens from that lust-filled haze that gambling always manages to place over you. He doesn’t know if you can actually get embarrassed, but you certainly look flustered as he locks eyes with you.

“Meow.”

“Oh,” you gasp, eyes wide. “T-That was absolutely wonderful,” you blurt out with a clasp of your hands. “Do it again.”

“It was a one-time deal,” Zayne rejects before straightening his back.

“I didn’t think you would do it. One more little meow for me?” you plead. “This was a special victory, and I didn’t get to enjoy my winnings properly.”

“If you want to hear it again, I’m afraid you’ll have to beat me a second time,” he answers bluntly.

“And if you win?”

“You do what I want.”

“Which is?”

Zayne smirks at you. “All I can tell you is that I’ll ask for much more than a meow.”

“You’re on! You’re on! You’re on! What better way to solidify my position as the best kitty card player than with a streak?”

“I take it we’re playing on Hell Mode then.”

“What do you mean? It’s always heaven playing against you, Zayne. You’re the only one who can give an actual challenge,” you sweetly coo, nearly a moan. “Unfortunately, your reign will officially be coming to an end. I’m going to beat you without luck; and when I do, I think I’ll make you meow and purr for my reward.”

“Hurry and restart the match then if you believe that.”

Zayne watches as you excitedly set the game back up. He supposes that this type of gambling is more fun than gambling with chocolates. At least until he sees your social media message the next morning.

Guess who finally toppled the old king and became the new Ruler of Kitty Cards? I won’t name them. No one asked. It’s not polite to be a sore loser, my adorable meowing subject.

[mistermalaprop]

omg tfes vagabond info dump

finally, oml, it took forever to get these together...

hello yes this took too long anyway-

when I asked for the pics of bumblebee with his beetle alt mode, I was searching for references for this goober— in both forms.

but why does this vagabond have two forms? well, uh, i’ll tell you.

the first Vagabond is actually him during the war and the first appearance we get of him (if he were in the show). It’s his generic g1 1960s Fiat mode, but tampered with to fit the more modern style (thanks war-time bumblebee).

the thing you all need to understand about war-time Vagabond is that he was batshit crazy; The second he showed up on the battlefield- everyone had to run kinda crazy. He’s small but he’s nimble and he had a whole range of weapons just stored on him at all times, including two mini machine gun-like blasters inside his arms.

Yikes.

anyway, in this universe: Vagabond takes bumblebee’s silhouette to remain a de-facto decepticon spy.

unlike in other universes: he has ghost stripes. the faint, barely noticeable racing stripes that usually would be (and will turn into) the green and red ones we see often. His entire appearance was manufactured to be about stealth and agility… even if his personality and character were the opposite. it’s what made him a fearsome opponent.

[edit: he also has this modified vocalizer where he can scream. once activated, it’s like— super sonic. you could hear him miles away. Very cool to me, so I wanted to include that detail I keep forgetting]

well, until the war… ended. Vagabond would be at the beginning of the final battle, but would be severely injured by Megatron thanks to him switching teams. he would be taken off the field to be repaired by his war buddies swindle and hardtop (omg who woulda guessed), but they get distracted by the battle and have to join anyway.

Vagabond, in his weakened state, would be.. uh… kidnapped. By a human. A highly-mechanically literate rabid Decepticon stan, if you will. He would be locked in stasis by a restraining bolt, keeping him in his alt-mode and unable to move.

Vagabond would be taken away and locked in a garage for the next 10-15 years lmao, only to be in the presence of just humans who come around to marvel at the fact they had a real transformer— a real decepticon transformer. it didn’t matter if Vagabond was basically paralyzed and in pain for a big chunk of that time, no?!????

Vagabond wouldn’t be found until 15 years later, thanks to the help of the Terrans, Bumblebee, Swindle, and Hardtop (this would be after season 1 realistically). while bumblebee was a bit, uh, nervous about reviving one of his fiercest opponents (who must’ve been stuck in time honestly), swindle and hardtop were ecstatic and removed Vagabond from stasis.

shockingly?

Vagabond… doesn’t immediately come out guns blazing. Huh? What’s this? see, being stuck by yourself with only your thoughts for over a decade, it takes a tole. He went through the damn five stages of grief in that time lmao.

Vagabond comes around and he’s just tired, man. He sees his old teammates and he’s just happy. He’s free, starving, and oh so tired of being around humans… and being in his alt mode, seriously. None of his war scars got buffed out or anything. He’s a living time capsule to the Terrans of the war.

thankful that he was freed, Vagabond goes on his merry fucking way. he doesn’t even look twice at bumblebee, who is still a little freaked out about seeing him. hardtop and swindle follow, of course, and they live happily ever after.

nah, but for real— after he gets all fixed up and picks a new alt mode for the first time in almost 20 years (look at second design)— Vagabond gets filled in about alllll that he’s missed during his time being, well, kidnapped. He learns about G.H.O.S.T, the Terrans/cybersleeves, Mandroid, the fact the war started again, and, of course, Megatron’s betrayal status.

Vagabond does not give a fuuuuck dude. He’s probably the only decepticon that does not care about megatron’s betrayal. He’s had a couple years to mull about it and be angry, but to him—in the end— it didn’t even matter.

(the whole G.H.O.S.T and mandroid thing fuck him up though, he hates humans already and that info just makes him more weary of the bastards.)

But, the one thing that he’s strangely passionate about— is the kids! the babies! the Terrans!!

because they had a big hand in his release from captivity, he respects them deeply. which is why, upon being told about their upbringings and the.. uh.. way they’re treated by the cons and humans……

he’s not very happy. the fact that it’s been so long that there are literally transformer kids makes him feel good. like there was a meaning to being in that stupid war.

so, basically, Vagabond becomes an honorary babysitter. he wants nothing but good things for these kids (and even warms up slightly to Mo and Robbie— shocker!)

And up to the end of the show, he comes around a few times. He’s usually hanging out with his old besties, but he’ll show up sometimes just to take care of the Terrans if he’s needed. He has the decepticon insignia on him for the philosophy, like Megatron, and not the current state of the war— so the Maltos accept it… because he’s the one of the only cons that aren’t trying to destroy the Terrans LMAAOOO

[mini-comic w/o vagabond's text]

((yes the terrans are all pngs of their toys))

anyway that’s it I hoped y’all liked that info dump. I’m glad I got him redesigned because ew that old design made me upset.

(TL;DR: earthspark vagabond is a retired veteran and is done with everyone’s shit. in the meantime, he becomes a babysitter.)

[goodusernamepending]

I am going to hold your face so gently and tell you a secret

If we don’t want AI to replace artists and writers we can not base our argument solely on how good or bad we think the work looks and here’s why:

First, this technology is only going to get better at its job over time and someday that won’t be a valid argument any more.

Second, I already can’t tell the difference sometimes and a lot of other people (especially who aren’t artists or writers) can’t tell the difference either, especially since they’re just glancing at it and aren’t looking at it under a magnifying glass

Third, these images are trained with real people’s work meaning that it looks like their work. I’ve already seen real artists complaining that they’re being accused of making machine generated images when it just looks similar because their work’s been stolen. It could also push out new artists who aren’t quite skilled yet, their flaws could be mistaken for proof of machine generation.

I’ve seen so many tips and tricks for figuring out if a picture is generated and it’s a flawed system that sometimes works but someday those tells will be buffed out and those tricks won’t work anymore.

Some day there will be no surface level difference between the two so we need to use the human behind the art as our reason. That person is what actually makes their work worth fighting for.

[missamyrisa2]

I'm transmasc/a trans boy but any of your posts about ticklish clits make my heart skip a beat ♡

Just the thought of my little t-dick being tickled in any of those ways is mind numbing, love your posts so much

eeeeee~!! I love thatttt so much~ and mmh I just adoreee making handsome cuties like you crumble soooo sweetlyyy~ my darling tough cookie just wantssss the sweeeet tickles on that cuteeee boy pearl hmmmh? I'm soooo gonna pin those wiggly legs and get you to bloom for mee ohh yess I amm~~ let's seee my handsome cutie pie blussshh then ~ just take my softtt slightlyyy stiff feather tip and glide it slooowly up your royal area ~ upppp and upp and oooh down and down and up up uppp ~ come on nowww don't hold back ~ let it allll out for your tickle mama mmhmmm~ aww does it feel goodd? What about my nail tip just liiightly touching around here? Right above your boy button? Oooh my my myyyy someone loves tickles huhh?

Look at you getting alll stifff for meeee ~ your lovelyyyy cuteee dicky dick is alll bothered huh? Liiight tickly touches up this side and ooh that sidee and mmh tsk tsk tsk you just can't not giggle can youu? You can't not laugh ~~ youuu can't not laugh~ Ooh darling my feather just lovessss gliding on your pearlyyyy ~ and you're getting sooo desperate huh? You want that ticklegasm? Mmhmm yes you dooo yesssss you fucking doooo~ maybe the feather can do itt ~ can the feather do ittt? Aww coochie coooo my cookie crumble ~ let's get miss blush in there too, shall we? Ooh yes, we'll take mr feather here and liiightly touch on your tippp~ while miss blushyyy can fluff and tease and swish about alll around each side~

Yesss giggle and moan and thrust for your tickle mama my darling boyyy~ soooo tough and rough huhhh ~ what happened? What happened huhh? falling apart to a little tickle tickleee~? It's just a featherrr kissing your lil prince part mhmmm~ and getting him alll blushyyy ooh yesss~ why darling I think you are sooo sweet and desperate and sexy like this that I'm just gonna have toooo ooh yes I mustttt I musttt~ give you the kissssiesss~ mmmhmm muahhh just mmmuah lightttt brushyyy kissessss on your hot and bothered petite royal rod~ mmuahh ~ sooo perfect sooo cuteee and alll mineee all mine and we're not stoooopping until you give me that gigglyboygasm noooo~<33

And then it's into the machine for you I'm afraid ~ you'll definitely need a thorough thorough polishing and buffing after all that naughtinesss~<33

[cephalonserotonin]

Devstream 180 Notes

This is a long one, folks.

brought to you by creative lead Rebb Executive Producer Dick Wolf

New dojo contest to kick off a transition to cross-save dojo world… see forum post

Pride Campaign 2024

is active now until the end of June! a new glyph, display, and wings in lovely rainbows!

Jade Shadows update coming June 18!

features a new cinematic quest: Jade Shadows. It picks up after The New War (so it's got TNW as a prerequisite) where the storyline of the Stalker left off. Rebb and the crew request that folks not spoil the quest for others after playing it. Use spoiler tags if possible! Quest runtime ~ 25 min There's a teaser for the story quest, featuring the Stalker hanging upside down like a bat:

New Warframe: Jade!

Pablo describes her as a support frame. Her passive is two aura mod slots which is kind of crazy ngl

Her kit briefly summarized:

1: throws a little mote with an AOE effect of healing for allies and increasing damage taken to enemies

2: cycle through various squad buffs. The UI art for these is really gorgeous

3: a debuff: enemies in her sight are slowed and lose armor. You also revive any dead allies in your vision.

4: floating and a zappy exalted weapon. It's kind of like Hildryn's four but basically better in every way because you can actually set off large amounts of damage and fly higher and faster. The exalted weapon has synergy with her 1 and 2.

As Pablo mentioned, Jade's abilities provide a lot of combo potential, good for any "min maxers" in the audience.

Jade's three signature weapons: the Cantare throwing knives, the Harmony scythe, and the Evensong bow (a variant on the Dread).

The Ascension game mode: "what if Warframe but up?"

Non-endless There's a giant elevator you have to feed with energy. The team's video crashed so Rebb gave what I'd call an excited 12 year old's description of the game mode instead which I loved:

There's this giant elevator that needs energy to go up. So you have to keep feeding it ionic charges so you rise out of the depths. And as you're feeding, the Corpus are there! *excitable machine gun noises* And then you're like, oh god! And then you have to, like, jump around-- but if you fall out of the elevator, you better hope you're good at parkour, and that you can read the level to get back up! and back up! and back up! And then: you have to make it to the top. But that's not all. Once you get to the top of the elevator, you gotta escape. You gotta make a run for it before the Corpus hold you back! Aahhh! Aah! Ah! …and that's Ascension. :)

Once we finally watch the video preview of the game mode later I think it looks fun. The level looks really neat; I love the graphics of the inside of the elevator. There's a new Jade Light eximus enemy here but I can't really tell any details about it quite yet.

ORDIS IN LARUNDA RELAY!

He's hosting the clan operation Belly of the Beast (featuring above Ascension game mode). In his shop is the Asteria ephemera, which evolves with community participation. Also some arcanes… and a beautiful skin for the Hate.

"If you're a hater, this is for you." Hilariously the arcanes are capped at 42 each because apparently in Gargoyle's Cry certain players went crazy burning themselves out to stock up on arcanes, and the team is trying to prevent that (and players blaming them for their own bad choices, as always). Two full sets each is more than enough, frankly.

Status Rework!

Blast now does a secondary detonation, or if hitting 10 blast procs, creates an AOE explosion. This is exactly what I have been wanting for ages so I, personally, am thrilled.

Magnetic now scales with overguard and shields the same way, and also does a secondary punch of damage (and an electric proc!) once the shield is broken.

Cold should freeze enemies more often now… and came with a free Frost rework! Now Frost's abilities give proper cold procs, thus freezing enemies, which is now standardized across his abilities. His 1 has been buffed and his 3 snowglobe has been modified (to allow shooting from in to out but not out to in). He has a new passive: his armor scales with the number of cold procs enemies have (like the defensive version of Ember).

There's a lot of testing going on right now on the interaction between ragdolling and freezing enemies.

There's a change to damage vulnerability mechanics which I didn't quite follow; seems to be mostly a simplification of the system.

Armor damage attenuation scaling, as mentioned in the last devstream, now has a cap, meaning corrosive procs should be more effective.

Yareli Deluxe

...looks like eldritch coral?

Next round of TennoGen

…finally comes with a Lavos skin, which is plague doctor themed.

Some augments (Protea's is probably OP), decrees (list shown below is incomplete), and arcanes

UI improvements!

In the upgrade screen: duplicate mod config button, indicator for substats, increased mod polarity

Augment list viewer in the abilities screen

Community customization table where you can copy others' fashions. Great news for gamers too unoriginal to make their own fashions, I guess. Coming at first for just Excalibur, Mag, Volt, and Jade.

Quick Access (fast travel wheel) for more areas like the dormizone.

UI autoscaling with resolution (to prevent tiny UI bars for people with huge resolutions), also coming with ability to scale the UI back down.

"Donut numbers" for damage view that do not cover the enemy you are shooting (old way can still be switched back to, called "cloud.")

Awakening quest has a lil fashion preview now!

Loadout hot swaps conveniently directly from the starchart!

QOL!

Cap on adversaries (liches and sisters) at 150. For the sake of database health. The programmer in me is mildly concerned that there was no limit before this.

Semi auto becoming full auto (see last devstream for more detailed description).

Automatic selection of last relic during endless relic cracks.

Streamlining necramech acquisition.

Unifying melee finishers and mercy kills (both with mechanics and appearance).

The return of Heirloom skins: starting with community art this time

First major change (from last year's disastrous heirloom launch) is the heirloom collections will now be released one warframe at a time.

Ember Heirloom is also a purchased fanartist concept!

Two paths to acquire it: a temporary paid path (for money, comes with some plat) and a plat path that will be available until next heirloom launch (and you can purchase the cosmetics individually!)

This is much better than last year's Heirloom launch, which, as aforementioned, caused a lot of community strife.

molten booty

And finally, the TennoCon 2024 schedule:

[retphienix]

MAJOR shade towards a game I actually really enjoyed and am currently as of typing waiting with minor optimism for the next update which claims to be a "community focused" update based on the critiques laid at them, and I'm only like, 20% sorry- but:

Sometimes I slow down and realize that the most mundane moments in EDF are the EXACT ""Fantasy"" other games claim to be striving for and claim to be perfectly adequately accomplishing in their games.... while they nerf anything that comes close to the power fantasy and fun they claim to already provide and instead make any tool that players want to shred with near worthless because ????

Anyways to be less vague and more direct: Things in EDF are ridiculous and powerful and you are put in situations where you can use that preposterous power to shred hundreds / thousands in some cases / of enemies.

Here we see me just going "You know what, I'm gonna slap on 2 miniguns and shred explosive robots with them" and what happens?

I throw on 2 miniguns and in seconds I feel like the 300 ton steel wall that these pathetic android waves crash upon and fall to the calm waters of the pavement below.

I strafe my aim from left to right and watch an orchestra of destruction play out before me.

I look to the devs and I see a big thumbs up in my direction 👍

They wanted to provide a game that lets you feel the power fantasy of big gun do big thing and when you play said game you get that experience. We shout "E! D! F!" at each other and then no more words are needed.

Meanwhile, another game I really enjoyed and still think is a fantastic game, just one that lost itself fast as hell for seemingly no reason, Helldivers 2, has the devs regularly saying their weapons and outfits and strategems are all in service of a ""Fantasy"".

They repeat it again and again, they say "X stat was adjusted Y direction in order to improve the ""Fantasy"" of the weapon".

And what do they do?

Nerf everything that does anything, give you a heavy machine gun that bounces off enemies, provide explosives that tickle bugs, buff literal mushrooms to be bulletproof because players weren't complaining enough, give you new weapons that are just downgrades of literal day 1 equipment, nerf a popular weapon because of a crossover bug (seriously, and don't ever revert the change), nerf another popular weapon because it worked (literally just worked- not excelled- just worked- it was an adequate anti armor so it had to be nerfed), nerf popular gear instead of taking a closer look at WHY those things are popular and if perhaps enemy behavior needed nerfed instead, buff the enemies repeatedly, provide the enemies with new AI and spawning behaviors that force the bulk of the community to assimilate into the few builds/tools that still work- nerf those tools.

And then gleefully say "We're buffing stuff!" and change insignificant stats that in no way actually impact the game or allow a single new experience to be felt from having used those tools.

And why?

Why did the game start as a fun horde shooter and then a few nerfs later it's a "GRIZZLED DIE WITH A PEASHOOTER IN YOUR HANDS" thing?

Why are we constantly sold the idea that these changes are to support the ""Fantasy"" of the experience when all that's been accomplished is anything that was fun and effective now sucks eggs and enemies are more aggressive than at launch?

Why?

And how do you justify nerfing us and buffing enemies while stripping the identity from all our equipment to be in service of a ""fantasy""?

Your heavy machine guns don't even feel good.

I hope the update is good and don't regret a second I spent playing that game :)

[sylviegunpla]

"Gunpla"?: The Entire Haro Collection

Above, you have the Haro Basic line (with one exception). Then, we have a new line, of Ball Haro, Sangoku Soketsuden Haro, Momoharo, and Zakrello. Finally, we have the Tri-Star Haros. That's most of the Haropla line in its entirety (plus one from the SD SS line). These images above comprise the main Haro line... well, minus a few. I'll get to those. You'll note of course i got 3x the tri star haro so i could have one of each number. All of these have been panel lined, and some of them have had molotow liquid chrome applied to some limbs. Oh yeah, i believe they have all been buffed to 10000 grit with Godhand sponges. I believe the Ball Haro also has some GM154 metallic green gundam marker on the eyes. And you might be saying "wait, aren't there two separate green haros that aren't from the SDSS line?" and the answer is Yes! The Haro Basic Green is sitting on another shelf alongside my HGTO RX-78-2:

But that guy can't open his mouth, so he hangs out on that shelf. Here's some more angles

Finally, here are the Haro suits! These guys were a real joy to put together. First up we have the Haroloader, this thing was a joy!

This has been panel lined. The arms were panel lined with molotow liquid chrome and some surfaces coated in it. Also, silver and bronze sharpies in some places? I'm surprised those came out looking half decent at all but the effect is kinda subtle and hard to see in pictures. Maybe you can pick out which surfaces are which? Next up, the Harofitter:

I forgot to put the cat ears up on the Harofitter for the photoshoots i was doing today :( Anyway this guy has also been panel lined, and the little roller has been coated in one of the metallic dark blue gundam markers. You can see in the second photo it is "working on" the injection mold machine (a review for another post). Finally, the Haroloader:

Also panel lined and such. But here's a surprise:

They're girlfriends! Here's some more Haro pics I feel are worth showing off:

This was the first Haro I did, and here it is with a tiny Amuro Ray in its mouth.

Here's it with a larger sibling (to be reviewed in another post)

And here's a look at how glossy i made it just by buffing. Finally, here's a HUGE BLOCK of stats for nerds!

[cyber-corp]

A review of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Part 3

By a guy who initially had no interest in this series whatsoever

For the longest time, I had absolutely zero interest in watching, reading, or even engaging with JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. The tone seemed too bombastic, the humour too out of leftfield and the fanbase too obnoxious. But after watching the anime adaptations of parts 1 and 2 and becoming interested in the rest of the series (and reading a bit of Steel Ball Run, which I quite enjoyed), I decided to read part 3 of JoJo, Stardust Crusaders, out of a morbid curiosity.

What I didn’t expect was a full-on and astounding journey across the world that never lets up and never slows itself down to think. And I felt mesmerised by every single page, every line of dialogue, and every illustration.

Stardust Crusaders’ main JoJo is Jotaro Kujo, a stoic Eastwood-esque high school (?!?) delinquent who likes telling women to piss off and has a special ability known as a Stand called Star Platinum, able to release a flurry of brutal punches at will and do with absolute precision.

All six of the Crusaders themselves (which does include the dog. don’t worry about it) have their own unique Stand and abilities, each of them named after a different Tarot card. Joseph Joestar, (who has skipped DILF birth and went straight to GILF birth), is easily my favourite of the six, as even though he’s gracefully aged and matured, he’s still the same old silly goober from all those years ago. Polnareff is my second favourite, I initially felt indifferent towards him, but soon began to adore this comical Frenchman and his entire arc.

The plot of the story follows the Crusaders on an eventful journey to Cairo, as the number one hater from Phantom Blood, DIO, has returned after 100 years, leeching off of Jonathan Joestar’s body. We don’t get to see much of him until the final confrontation, where he nearly convinces Polnareff to join him, kills Kakyoin by stopping time with his stand THE WORLD, takes Joseph’s soul, and squashes Jotaro with a ROADOROLLA. The only reason he loses is that Jotaro is so unreasonably buffed that he can move while DIO’s stand is active, giving him the opportunity to ORAORAORA him into next Tuesday.

I personally feel that DIO might just be the best villain not just in JoJo, but one of the best entirely. His ability to get his own way and his burning desire to end the Joestar bloodline from Part 1 has been amped up to 11, and it makes him, along with his Stand, THE WORLD, nearly unstoppable. He’s a blunt force with no humanity, and does whatever suits his needs. People either fall against him and perish, or fall with him and submit themselves to his grace. He’s become quite the behemoth when you compare him to what he was doing in Part 1. From kicking dogs to forcing someone he doesn’t know to drive after Jotaro and psychologically torturing them. How far the haters go…

If I could use one word to sum up Stardust Crusaders, it would be “ambitious”. It’s nearly double the length of the first two parts combined, and nearly thrice as varied in setting and tone. From Japan, to the gleaming cities of Singapore to the slums of India and the sandy deserts of Arabia, it nearly stops to sit in one place. Hirohiko Araki has stated that he was less inspired by the other shonen comics of the time and more into road movies like Around The World in 80 Days, which gives this part such a unique international flair. There’s also 2 dozen enemies the guys have to face along their way to Egypt, some of which provide interesting looks into the main characters’ inner machinations, and some are monkeys who smoke and commit sexual assault.

The overall theming of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is humanity’s insane ability to overcome seemingly impossible odds in order to become greater, and this couldn’t be more prevalent than in Stardust Crusaders. DIO is a cruel, unrelenting beast who has already sacrificed his own humanity in order to further achieve his goal of ending the Joestar bloodline once and for all. This makes him a perfect mirror to the Crusaders, who plan to stop DIO in order to prevent Jotaro’s mother, Holly, from dying. This motivation based in love of course triumphs over all, and also leads to one of the greatest spurs within the entire medium of manga.

Stardust Crusaders is full of genuine heart, wit, and genuinely kicks ass all the way through. Reading it is truly unlike anything else. It’s a pastiche of shonen tropes, gothic literature, westerns, 80s action flicks and so much more. I can truly see now why JoJo has the reputation it does. If this was the only part of JoJo ever written, it would still be fantastic.

A true celebration of humanity from beginning to end. Go read it if you can.

[hasufin]

Modification

I want to share a little project I've been working on this past week. It may seem like nothing, but it was a lot of work and a big pain until I got it done.

Back when my spouse and I moved into our current house, I immediately recognized a dearth of counter space in the kitchen. We resolved this by purchasing a buffet table from Ikea. The table in question was a "Norden" model, which they have since discontinued. Simple enough table, a bit over a meter long and maybe a third that in depth, two drawers and two additional shelves. Great for holding kitchen appliances on top and storage below.

The first thing I did was add locking casters to the bottom so I could move it around easily. That's been a big bonus, as it makes cleaning much easier. I also put some hooks on the ends to hang my cast iron pans.

The problem arose I guess about three years ago when I upgraded to a commercial-grade espresso machine. The Gaggia was okay, but the Expobar is in a completely different class. And that's GREAT for good coffee. For a tabletop that's made of laminated particle board? Not so much.

Now, I had been aware of this problem for a while. I'd tried to ameliorate it by putting a silicone baking mat on top of that side of the table; that slowed down the deterioration, but did not stop it. It was also a daily annoyance, as the espresso machine moved a bit when I torqued the portafilter in place and it would get bunched up. About once a week I would have to lift the espresso machine and move things back.

This came to a head two weeks ago when I took the espresso machine in for some repairs and had to face that the tabletop was ruined. My initial thought was to get a replacement top from Ikea and then put maybe a piece of stone countertop in where the espresso machine sits.

This ran into two problems. First, as I mentioned before, this particular item is discontinued. Ikea will honor the warranty, and the Ikea rep tried pretty hard to make that work, but the reality is I got it too long ago and whatever abuse it's undergone is my problem; they don't sell the parts for it anymore.

Second, stone countertops are EXPENSIVE. While I just want what might be considered scrap, it was still going to be a lot of money, and I was not able to find a source.

Eventually I want to replace the entire thing with something I build myself, and I have some ideas for that. However, right now I have neither the time nor skill to make that happen. I was going to have to replace the top myself.

Since I didn't want to pay for stone, I opted for metal. I ordered a 4'x2' sheet of metal from McMaster and proceeded to prep the top. I sanded down the areas which were bubbling up and roughed up the rest of the surface.

Then, once the metal arrived I used my angle grinder to cut it to width and round the sharp corners. I had this notion that I might bend it over the top and maybe nail it down, or see if I could knurl the edges. However, while I think that was maybe possible, to do it well would have called for tools I don't have and skills I generally lack. The steel was 0.03" thick rolled mild steel. While that's not exactly a knife's edge, and you can touch it without cutting yourself, it's not exactly safe. And although I got much better with the angle grinder in the process (I had a grinder and hardly ever used it), the cut edges were a but uneven. So, I ordered some rubber edging.

In the meantime, I put the metal on the buffet table and prepared it.

I opted for a matte finish, since I would need better buffing tools than I have to get a mirror finish, and matte is easier to maintain than brushed. Since it's mild steel - which rusts easily - I sealed it with a spray lacquer.

Today, the rubber edging finally arrived. This is the same stuff you have on the edges of your car door. I glued it in place, except for one small section which is removable so I can easily clean detritus like coffee grounds off the table top. I also added two receivers to hold the feet of the espresso machine so it doesn't move when I put in the portafilter.

And, behold!

The result looks almost nothing like the original buffet table from Ikea. Someday I'll make something better, but whatever I make will be strongly informed by this, which has been heavily modified to fit my use case.

[minminbunny]

So I see lots of fem!skz dranbleiben on other blogs and stuff and everything, but I prefer your style of writing and what do you think about writing some female skz os after your little hiatus? 👀

Genderbend AU - Hyung Line/Gender Neutral! Reader

*I can do a quick one in bed🙂‍↕️

Bang Chan

Since he'd be the eldest daughter, I feel like his perfectionist drive would be stronger than it is now. Predebut Chris would be very icy and cold just to make sure everything is in order only to be maternal once it's all done.

"What did I say about practice time?" Chan asked, crossing her arms. You gulped, averting her burning gaze, "To always be on time," you said, her disappointment heavy on your shoulders. Chan sighed, brushing back his hair, "After practice, you're going to stay back for another round, understood?" She warned, raising an eyebrow.

"Baby? Come here, I need your thoughts on the demo," she said, tugging you onto her lap. You placed on her headphones, listening to the rough draft, "It's could use a bit more ensemble during the chorus," you murmured, jolting it down. Chan chuckled, braiding your hair, "I thought so too. Thank you, Agi," she said, patting your back

I feel like she'd be a gym mommy. Stunning ass, stunning body. Her big hugs are just a full face of chest, and they're soft and supple that you'd just melt or cry in them.

Lee Minho

Very leaning into the cat-like behaviour. I feel like most characteristics would be turned up by 10% as girls. The more she's comfortable, the more open these behaviours tend to shine. There's no holding back, like when we see them as guys.

"Min, you're smouldering me," you whined, trying to shift her off. Minho gave you a quick look and ignored your complaints. You groaned, running your fingers through her hair, "Don't suddenly bite me. I'm being gentle," you said, careful dragging your fingers through her knotted hair.

Minho hummed, "I'm making dinner. Be sure to bring your tupperware so you can share with the girls," she said, patting your thighs. You nodded, holding back the urge to roll your eyes, "Yes, mom," you said, watching her get off your lap like nothing happened.

She'd be lean, firmer near her waist. Imagine her body like Momo from twice. Dancers having dancers bods. She'd like to paw the members, squishing their ass, chest, arms. Anything she could touch.

See Changbin

That old older sister, with a short fuse, most of the time, is playful. 10/10 would call you a bitch endearingly. Like that one clip where Bin almost flipped Minho off. However, that one time, it's serious. The dorm better be mess free, nothing must be in the sink, and nothing must be out of place or else. The moment she sees something out of place and yells your full name, you know you are done for.

"Get down here, right now!" Changbin yelled, tapping her foot on the carpet. You gulped, making your way to her, "I can explain," you said, fidgeting with your fingers. Changbin sighed, looking at the damp laundry still in the machine, "Explain your your ass is whooped," she warned.

Of course, big muscle mommy. Easily can throw you over her shoulder for a spanking. After every session, it's a grantee cuddle moment. Soft tummy, biceps holding you close, her palm rubbing soothing balm on your red ass. She'd dote you after that with kisses.

Hwang Hyunjin

We all know SKZ family and mother Hyun. She's elegant, demure, and artistic. Definitely one to mingle with the younger members to coo and dote on. She'll do their hair, paint their nails, and not the one hair curler type styling. She has the full set, leave in moose, bangs fixing spray, and even those salon style steamer. She has it. Sure, if there a public appearance, the stylist will have their theme, but for her off days or breaks, those are the things she's dragging the other to do with her.

"Did you hear the latest internal gossip between those two groups?" Hyunjin asked, buffing your nails. You raised an eyebrow, "Which one?" you asked, liking the shine on your cuticles. Hyunjin chuckled, showing you an insta story, "It's so obvious," she giggled, spilling on and on about the things she knew and heard off. Then it's your turn to spill back. These types of talks can go for hours with her.

Her body is lean but filling in the chest and ass area. Her walk in heels have a sway in them. One that's hypnotising until people start saying that she's blessed by aphrodite. Tall, stunning, definitely more model run ways.

[yatori-morgana]

I need to draw a qurupeco. Literally just because my sister loves them. She has one in MHS2 named Kyuti, and we love Kyuti <3 Buffing machine. Dying? SIKE, Soothing Voice to heal! Get attack and defense buffed too, idiot. When we play together and she brings Kyuti, I know we're gonna LIVE.

"Huuu, qurupeco has shit stats, and it's annoying in mainline, BUH."

[freehawaii]

TOURISM AS WE HAVE KNOWN IT IN HAWAI`I IS OVER

Travel Weekly - April 16, 2025 Envisioning revolutionary changes for Hawaii's tourism industry, Hawaii Visitors and Convention Bureau CEO Aaron Sala said at the Travel Weekly Hawaii Leadership Forum on April 15, "Tourism as we have known it is over." Sala was hired last September, coming to the HVCB as a business entrepreneur and educator. As president and CEO of Gravitas Pasifika, he led a boutique firm dedicated to advancing Native Hawaiian talent. Sala's hire is in line with Hawaii tourism's movement toward prioritizing the well-being of Native Hawaiians (including tourism workers), environmental protection and cultural preservation, while de-emphasizing growth in visitor numbers. "The traditional model is not just outdated, it is extractive, colonial, dangerously romantic," he said. "It asked communities to perform authenticity while their futures were auctioned off for occupancy. It celebrated arrivals while silencing the voices of those displaced by rising rents and eroding shorelines. And yet this traditional approach remains the one too many are still polishing, buffing the rust off a machine that was never built to serve all of us in the first place.” Sala said that he did not come to the HVCB to maintain the status quo, but rather to end it. He described this as a transformational time for Hawaii and the HVCB, and he looks forward to building more partnerships and collaborations. "Whether we recognize it or not, our campaigns, our inventories, our itineraries, they all play a role in larger geopolitical narratives, narratives of dependency, narratives of dominance, narratives of dispossession," he said. "Let us not pretend that we are doing enough or that we are doing it fast enough. Too many of us are still acting like [the tourism numbers we had in] 1995, or 2019 even, might come back if we just market it better. But neither of those worlds is real, neither of those worlds is returning.” A Call For A 'New Tourism Compact' Sala said he wanted to share this message as a call to action, so that others in the industry can work together with the HVCB to reconstruct its strategy and models. He refers to the HVCB as "becoming a destination futures enterprise, a force for cultural stewardship, economic innovation and geopolitical fluency." "In addition to the work that we are doing to reimagine ourselves internally as a visitors and convention bureau, through strategic efforts of our team, we challenge all of you to join us in the co-creation, perhaps, of a new tourism compact," he said. "That compact is meant to be a global framework rooted in regenerative principles, cultural integrity and systemic equity. We want to do this together. Partner with us on innovation pilots, if you have an idea, if you're a wholesaler, if you're a hotelier, if you work in airlines and you have an idea that makes sense to partner with us, bring that idea to us." Sala's words sparked discussion during the wholesaler/tour operator panel, which gave positive and optimistic feedback about the HVCB's shift. "I love the fact that they're asserting their leadership and basically wanting to communicate the proper message and controlling the narrative of what Hawaii is. I think a lot of things they're doing is fantastic, and we're happily supporting it," said David Hu, president and CEO of Pleasant Holidays. Ray Snisky, group president of ALG Vacations, said that it's a different approach "that's badly needed," and he is confident that it can be done when stakeholders work together. "I have a tremendous amount of optimism," he said. Snisky said the next step is "forming an execution plan and doing that together….”