I wanna cry so fucking badly rn wth
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title: My Dearest Sadie, You Fucking Bitch
you know, i wish i could hate you. i really really really wish i could hate you. you have screwed me over more times than i can count on both hands over the past few months, left me alone, ignored me, humiliated me, forgot me. youre a bitch now. youre not nice anymore. i dont even want to be friends with you anymore. you hang out with shitty people. you say shitty things. you do shitty things. but i would still take a bullet for you. i fucking miss you dude. do you know how many times i have cried over you since october? i dont. theres too many.
you forgot my birthday this year. that really stung. i thought maybe you would at least acknowledge it, but nope. your mom brought it up in front of you. she gave me a card. you didnt even blink. that really stung. i want you to feel how i feel every single day. but i cant let that happen. thats why im going to text you tomorrow. for your birthday. you didnt invite me to your party. that also stung. my sister went. she said she had a lot of fun. i remember your party last year. i look at the pictures and watch the videos when im sad. it doesnt help. thats probably the point.
i have so many things that used to be ours. ours. stranger things. christmas mornings from dutch bros. ninja turtles. battery acid. sesame street. end of summer sleepovers. but theyre not ours anymore. theyre just mine because you dont care anymore. thats probably why i cant hate you. because you wouldnt care that i hated you. it doesnt work if you are indifferent. maybe thats what hurts the most.
did you forget that we used to share a crib? that we grew up together? did you forget every single secret code we created, every stupid inside joke, every silly game we played? well i didnt. its all burned into the inside of my skull, a masochistic tattoo.
one time you texted me just to say that we would be best friends forever and always. i had already been crying. i was sad. your text did not do anything to help. when i recieved it i almost laughed. we were barely acquaintances at that point you idiot.
i really wish i could hate you.
SINCERELY,
me, the person you left behind
p.s. youre a fucking liar. happy fucking birthday.
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The Heart's Invisible Furies [John Boyne]
started: March 21, 2021
finished: March 24, 2021
rating: 5/5
review:
its now been 2 weeks since i finished The Heart's Invisible Furies and tbh i still dont have the words to describe it.
first of all i've apparently wanted to read this book for at least 3 years. after i got it i found it on a random list of books in my notes of books i wanted that i made couple years ago. i have absolutely no idea where i heard about it the first time. i actually dont remember where i heard of it or why i put it on my list a couple months ago but evidently i did.
this was one of the (many) books that i intentionally didn't read the synopsis of and didn't want to know anything about it before reading. i knew bits going into it. i had the general info that it was about a boy born in Ireland who was adopted, it's set during The Troubles, and its gay enough to have the 'LGBT' tag on goodreads.
after a day of reading it my only comment i wrote down was: i think i cried 6 times reading the first 100ish pages.
which honestly sums up my entire experience reading the entire book.
the novel is organized so that each section is every seven years. there's a total of 11 sections so it covers 77 years all about Cyril Avery's life. the first section is about his mother dealing with being an unwed 16 year old pregnant woman in mid-1940s Ireland. and let me say: the actions of most of the 'adults' are absolutely horrific. the first chapter is Cyril's mother, Catherine, being kicked out of her village at Sunday Mass. her entire family and the rest of the village are against her and back the priest who tells her she has like an hour to leave the village and never come back.
when she gets on a bus to Dublin, she meets Seán who is also escaping his village to Dublin. they arrive and are greeted by Seán's 'friend' Jack who reluctantly agrees to let Catherine stay with them until she can support herself. its pretty obvious that Seán and Jack are a little more than friends but Catherine doesnt think anything of it until the end of the section. before the end tho, we meet the only valid adult / person of a previous generation, Mrs. Hennessy. i absolutely loved that she makes an appearance the the following section and gets name dropped throughout the rest of the novel. this first section is where we learn her general backstory and god fucking damn it i was appalled. at this point its less than 50 pages into the book and i was nearly full on sobbing. and the tears dont let up from there either! right after finding out what Mrs. Hennessy has gone through, Catherine returns back to the apartment she shares with Seán and Jack and once again there's adult and parent who is absolutely horrendous. this is finally when Catherine learns that the two boys are actually in a relationship because, who we later learn is Seán's father, who Seán was escaping from when he left his village, forces himself into the apartment. within the next few minutes, there is a filicide , someone left on the brink of death, and a birth.
this is literally all 50 pages into a nearly 600 page book. it sets the tone for the rest of it and gives a solid understanding of the mindset of Ireland in this time.
7 years later, we finally meet Cyril as as not just the concept that is causing issues for Catherine. we're introduced to the couple that adopted Cyril, who are odd to say the least. they are the type of parents that didn't really want a child because they were ready but instead as a show piece. the Avery's also constantly remind Cyril (and others) that he is 'not a real Avery'. hmm i wonder if this will have an impact on Cyril's future relationships?????
his relationship with Julian Woodbead is one of the most important to Cyril's life. i think its talked about later in the novel how their friendship is built on a lie. from the start Cyril is obsessed with Julian and Julian doesnt acknowledge it really. the perception of their friendship is so biased since we are viewing the world from Cyril's point of view and how he is effected. because of this perceptive, its so hard to believe that Julian didn't know that Cyril was in love with him. but i think Julian was such a product of the environment his was raised in and living by the acceptable ideas of the time. from an early age one of his defining traits is essentially being a womanizer. its hard to tell how much of him is just for show and how different him, and Cyril, would be free of a society with such strict exceptions and definitions of right and wrong. was Julian truly completely straight? or was he lying to everyone and himself to fit in with society?
Cyril deals with his repression of being gay in such a detrimental way the entire time he lives in Ireland. he constantly lies to everyone in his life and forces himself to live a lie. his inability to confide in anyone leads him to getting engaged to, sleeping with, and ultimately marrying Julian's sister, Alice.
oh my god the lead up to the marriage ceremony and the events after hurt so many people and i didn't know who's side i was on for them. Cyril ends up in a relationship with Alice and somehow engaged to her. he almost breaks it off with her but every time he cant say the words. its heartbreaking thinking about Cyril was just so fearful to tell the truth to people who loved him.
its finally on the wedding day that Cyril confesses to Julian that he doesnt love Alice in any romantic way because he's gay and is actually in love with Julian. Cyril wants to Julian to allow him to not go forward with the marriage but with Alice's past (she had a previous fiance that left her at the alter) Julian tells Cyril that he's going to marry his sister and be a perfect husband to her.
Cyril does it. partially. he marries Alice then flees the entire country. coming from Cyril's point of view, i was relived that he was free from lying to everyone. but on the other side -- he just left everyone hurt and unhappy in the wake of his actions. its so easy to see how Cyril feels forced into his decisions but understanding how those decisions affect the people around him make it hard to support Cyril.
7 years later we meet the most important man in Cyril's life, Bastiaan. after leaving Ireland, Cyril ends up in Amsterdam, where it is so much more acceptable to be gay holy shit. he meets and starts dating Bastiaan there. Bastiaan helps Cyril unlearn a lot of what he was forced to live by and accept who he is as a person.
he also meets Jack who opened an Irish pub in Amsterdam with the name of Seán's last name. when i realized it was Jack from before and Jack named his pub after Seán made me weep like a fucking baby.
i could list all the times i started crying but i would end up crying all over again and have to add more to the list.
anyway in Amsterdam Cyril and Bastiaan acquire a foster son, Ignac, who just like everyone else in this novel, has a tragic past. after some events (another murder, this time the dick head is the one killed instead of the one doing the killing) and the three of them end up in New York.
they are in America during the beginning of the AIDS crisis and holy shit. yeah more balling. thats the main takeaway.
in New York, Cyril volunteers to talk to AIDS patients who are dying but have no family visiting them. one of the patients is Julian. once again i turn into a fucking baby. Julian reveals to Cyril that he has a son back in Ireland from the one time he slept with Alice. im gonna cry if i think about Julian and Cyril talking anymore i stg. but uhh Julian makes Cyril promise that he'd be the one to call Alice when he died and once Julian does pass, Cyril has every intention on doing just that. but before he can, him and Bastiaan are jumped by a group of thugs who end up seriously injuring Cyril and killing Bastiaan.
7 years later, Cyril is back in Ireland with Ignac. this time he is in Ireland as an openly gay man and is attempting to build a relationship with his son.
there's so much more that happens that i can't even convey. but holy fuck was it so god damn fucking good.
finally when Cyril is in his 60s he figures out that he is the son of Mrs. Goggins, who has never really left the story. Cyril and Julian run in to her when they are 14 in boarding school, Cyril runs into her multiple times when he works almost with her, the morning of his wedding at a cafe, and when he returns he works in the same building that she does. so throughout his life his birth mother was right there but neither of them knew it.
after 7 years, they go together back to the village that Catherine was born, raised, and kicked out of. its finally here where we learn the identity of Cyril's birth father (Catherine's aunt's husband).
bro i gotta be done now. like there's much more that i want to talk about regarding The Heart's Invisible Furies but i just cant think of them rn.
tl;dr - ballin like a baby the whole way through. also society sucks.pls read its worth it
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hi let me answer 400 fucking questions
1. Name: Jace
2. Nickname(s): i dont have any
3. Birthday: June 1
4. That makes you (age): im almost 15
5. Where were you born (city): Vancouver
6. Location right now (planet ): in my house
7. Shoe size: uh like 8 womens
8. How many piercings?: two, almost pierced my septum
9. Tattoos?: no
10. When you wake up you're: tired and sad
11. When you're about to sleep you're: tired and sad
12. Zodiac sign: gemini
13. Chinese sign: monkey i think
14. Righty or Lefty: righty
15. Innie or Outie: innie
16. School: no
Section Two: Looks
17. Nationality: im really white
18. Hair colour: like dirty blonde
20. Weight: idk like 140lbs
21. Height: 5′10 i think
22. Braces? no
23. Glasses? no
Section Three: Private Life
24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: yeah
25. If so, who?: uh someone who was not interested in me at all for 7 months
26. If not, do you have a crush on someone?: i mean
27. Who has a crush on you?: i mean
28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf?: no that shit is disgusting dont talk to me if you do that
29. Who was your first kiss: someone that i no longer talk to. dont regret it being them though
30. Who was your last kiss: my bf
31. Are you a virgin?: uh
32. Ever had a threesome before?: no
33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: no whattheufkc
34. Have you ever been in love?: yes
35. Broken any hearts?: most likely
36. Got your heart broken?: well i broke up with someone idk if that counts as having my heart broken but i was devastated but i had to do it sooo idk
37. Ever liked a friend? yes ive only really liked 2 people and theyve been my friends because i cant trust people
38. What happened? they have liked me back at some point
Section Four: Past Relationships
39. How many relationships have you been in?: two
40. How many were serious enough to count: two?
41. Who were those serious ones: first kiss, my bf
42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: uhhhhh ig first kiss
43. What made them different: i really liked their personality and the way they presented/ i was head over heels for them for like idk 3 years
44. What happened: i wasnt mature enough to handle myself
45. Best boy/girlfriend: my fucking GIRLS taylor and claire
46. Worst boy/girlfriend: someone i recently cut off contact with
47. Ever been kissed: yes
48. Who do you want back: uhgdjgkjdfhgkjd goodbye
49. Who do you regret: no one, i think all experiences are good and if i regret someone i would hace never gotten those Experience Points
50. Why?: n/a
Section Five: Favourites
51. Song: shit uhhhh like or like like by miniature tigers?? or falling for you by mxmtoom and peachy?? or cherub rock by the smashing pumpkins idk my taste is wack
52. Movie: as you are but i shared it with the person i recently cut off contact with so uh
53. Food: bro. pickles. i even drink the pickle juice when im done with the pickles.
54. Drink: orange crush man
55. Store: shopping stresses me out
56. Television show: uh black mirror?
57. Holiday: hallo fucking ween
58. Book: words on bathroom walls i think
59. Ice cream: cookie dough
60. Sweets: m&m’s
61. Crisps: wjat
62. Type of music: i listen to a lot? i listen to electronic, indie, alternative, rock, those sad boy hour songs really whatever i have like three different playlists for my tastes
63. Artist: really into teen suicide rn
64. Word: uh
65. Time of day: 1 am outside watching the stars
66. Dressing: like. salad dressing or clothes
67. Alcoholic drink: i dont drink anymore tryna stay away from that so i dont revert
68. Colour(s): i love blue
69. Piece of clothing: my fidlar hoodie that concert was wild i got punched in the head
70. Character: DELSIN ROWE
71. Smell: campfire
72. Shampoo: idk i use whatever is in the shower
73. Soap: i use whatever
74. Smiley: idk
75. Board game: definitely monopoly i live out the fantasy of being rich
76. Sport: i dont care
77. Number: i still dont care
78. Quote: idk
79. Animal: still a wolf shut up meanies >::(((((
80. Actor: idc
82. Vegetable: broccoli ofc
83. Fruit: oranges
84. Place to be: on the hill
85. Thing in your room: my guitar and my ukulele my fuckibng babies dont touch them
86. Gum: uh
87. Shape: uh>
88. Country: uh?
89. Mall: i hate malls
90. Car: idc wow im boring
91. Boy's name: br idk
92. Girl's name: idk
93. Family member: my sister sh
94. Restaurant: pepper lunch is kind of the shit
95. Movie place: we literally only have one movie theatre
96. Person to go to the movies with: my friends
97. Noise: idk
98. Brand of shoe: vans theyre comfy
99. Brand of clothing: idk
100. Body part of a chicken: the gobble part the fuck is that called
101. Swear word: uh? fuck?
102. Month: october
103. Possession: ukulele and guitar again
104. Team: ?
105. Season: winter it’s cold and people can’t bully me for being pale
106. Radio station: who listens to the radio
107. Magazine: who reads magazines
108. Favourite grade: none they were all stressful
109. Least favourite grade: grade 1
110. Teacher: mme martin
111. Least favourite teacher: mme leclerc
112. Subject: band
113. Subject to talk about: music
Section Six: Family
114. Who's your mum?: my mom
115. Who's your dad?: my dad
116. Any step-parents?: no
117. Any brothers?: yes
118. Any Sisters?: yes
120. Coolest: brother/sister
121. Loudest: my parents fuck
122. Best relative: uh
123. Worse relative: someone who hit on my sister
124. Do you get along with your parents? sometimes
125. With your siblings? yes
126. Does anyone understand you? lmao ugh no one understands me;(((((
127. Do you have any pets?: yes
128. If so, what kind and name? dog, cat, rosie, thea
129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: i want a snake so bad
Section Seven: School
131. Are you still in school? yes
132. Did you drop out?: yes
133. Your current GPA: idk what that is
134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: both, sometimes we cant afford anything so like i just dont eat
135. ABC's?: what
136. Favorite class: band
137. Play any sports at school?: no
138. Are you popular? HAHA no
139. Favourite memory: uh when i failed three classes i loved that :)
140. Most humiliating moment: idk
141. Most funniest moment: bro idk
142. Most scared moment: when i thought my school was gonna be shot up lmfao
Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear
145. Chicken: bacawk
146. Dog: bark
147. Christina Aguilera: oUOouIA
148. Ricky Martin: who
149. 50 cent: bottle full of bub
150. Poop: uh
151. Beach: woosh
152. Desert: the sound of sand?
153. Water: woosh
154. Osama: oh
155. Love: the sound of when you are holding your breath and then you exhale because they left but you didnt realize you were holding your breath
156. Your little brother: i
157. Butt: what
158. Clowns: get that shit away
159. Wonder: wahtr
16o. Brown: brrpoqn
161. Banana: peeling noise
162. Sex: moaning??
163. Parents: yelling
164. Homosexuals: what
165. God: nothing
Section Nine: Do you believe in
166. God: idk not really
167. Heaven: idk
168. Devil: idk
169. Hell: idk
170: Boogy man: no
171. Closet Monsters: no but im always paranoid someone is in my closet
172. Fortune tellings: no
173. Magic: idk
174. Love at first sight: idk
175. Ghosts: yes
176. Voo-doo dolls: no?
177. Reincarnation: maybe
178. Yourself: no
Section Ten: Do you
179. Smoke: not cigs, i’ll vape but i dont have one of my own, and if you got weed and want me to smoke it with you sure
180. Do drugs: weed?
181. Drink alcohol: not anymore
182. Cuss: yeah
183. Sing in the shower: yeah
184. Like school: no
185. Want to get married: yeah
186. Type with all of your fingers: on the computer not really only my middle and index finger
187. Think you're attractive: not really
188. Drink and drive: no ive had some horrible experiences
189. Snore: i dont think so
190. Sleep walk: used to
191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: yes omg
Section Eleven: Have you ever
192. Flashed someone: no
193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: haha yeah
194. Told that person how you felt: yeah
195. Been arrested: n o
196. Gone to jail or juve: no
197. Skateboarded: yes im so fucking bad at it though
198. Skinny dipped: no
199. Rock climbed: yes
200. Killed someone: no
201. Watched porn: yes
202. Gone on a road trip: yes
203. Went out of the country: yes
204. Talked back to an adult: yes
205. Broken a law: yes
206. Got pulled over: no i cant drive
208: Cried to get out of trouble: no
209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: yeah
210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: no
211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: no
212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: yeah
213. Moon someone: no
214. Shop-lifted: no
215. Worked at McDonald's: no
216. Eaten a dog: no
217. Give money to a homeless person: yeah
218. Glued your hand to yourself: no
219. Kissed someone of the same sex: yeah
220. Had a one night stand: no
221. Smoked: not cigs
222. Done drugs: weed
223. Lose a friend because of your ex: i dont think so?
224. Slap someone for being stupid: lightly
225. Had cyber sex: no
226. Wish you were the opposite sex: at one point in my life i wanted to die because of it
227. Caught someone doing something: yeah
228. Played a game that removes clothing: no
229. Cried during a movie: yeah
230. Cried over someone: yeah
231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: no
232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: no
233. Ran away from home: yeah
234. Cheated on a test: yeah
Section Twelve: Would you
235. Bungee jump: yes pls
236. Sky dive: yes
237. Swim with dolphins: yes
238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: no
239. Try to be the opposite sex: oh
240. Lie to the police: no
241. Run from the police: idk depends on the situation probably not
242. Lie to your parents:yeah
243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: no ew
244. Be an exotic dancer: no
245. NQ- Kill the president: dont have a president
Section Thirteen: Are you
246. Shy: not shy
247. Loud: no
248. Nice: i think? im also kind of an asshole
249: Outgoing: not outgoing
250: Quiet: kind of
251. Mean: sometimes
252. Emotional: yeah?
253. Sensitive: no
254. Gay: no
255. Strong: uh idk
256. Weak: not physically
257. Caring: yes
258. Dangerous: no
259. Crazy: no
260. Spontaneous: no?
261. Funny: ive been told
262. Sweet: idk
263. Sharing: yeah
264. Responsible: yeah
265. Trustworthy: yeah
266. Open-minded: yeah
267. Creative: i guess
268. Cute: uh no
269. Slick: idk
270. Smart: no
271. Dumb: no
272. Evil: no
273. Ghetto: no
274. Classy: no
275. Photogenic: sometimes
276. Dependable: yeah ive made some mistakes though
277. Greedy: no
278. Ugly: no?
279. Messy: kinda
280. Neat: kinda
281. Perverted: uh well im not asexual
282. Silly: what
283. A B****: sure
284. A Good Listener: yeah
285. A Fighter: yeah
286. A Party Animal: no
287. A Game Freak: i like games
288. A Computer Freak: no
Section Fourteen: Future
289. Dream job: musician
290. Dream house: fuck idk
291. Husband/Wife: someone i love
292. Kids: like 2
293. Names: ,
294. Pets: doberman pls
295. Car: idk
296. Age you would want to get married: like 30
297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: idk
298. Honeymoon: idk
Section Fifteen: Your friends
299. Best friends: taylor, claire
300. Known the longest: taylor
301. Craziest: taylor
302. Loudest: claire
303. Shyest: taylor
304. Best hair: i love them all
305. Best eyes: taylor has like multicoloured eyes
306. Best body: bro no
307. Most Athletic: claire
308. Hot-Tempered: both
309. Most impatient: idk
310. Shortest: taylor
311. Tallest: claire
312. Skinniest: uh skinnier is taylor shes smaller in general
313. Best singer: idk neither of them sing
314. Funniest: both
315. Can always make you laugh: both
316. Wish you talked to more: i have like 3 friends so keira
317. Wish you saw more: keira
318. Who drives you insane after a while: claire
319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: taylor
320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': no
321. Whose always been there when you need them: taylor and claire
322. Who is like your family: taylor and claire
323. How many friends do you have?: 4
324. How many are really close? 2
Section Sixteen: The last
325. Thing you ate: burger
326. Thing you drank: water
327. Thing you wore: im in shorts and a hoodie right now?
328. Thing you did: dog walk
329. Place you went: dog park
330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: my ears
331. Person you saw: my mom
332. Person you hugged: my mom
333. Person you kissed: my bf
334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: idk but id like to beat some people to a juicy pulp
335. Person you talked to online: this bitch thunder that is annoying we dont talk anymore shut the fuck up bro
336. Person you talked to on the phone: my call log says my mom
337. Song you heard: beach walk by whitewoods
338. Show you saw: like concert? fidlar
339. Time you fought with your parents: idk like today
340. Time you fought with a friend: idk
341. Words you said: “yeah”
Section Seventeen: Now
343. What are you eating: burger
344. What are you drinking: water
345. What are you thinking: miss
346. What are you wearing: shorts and a hoodie
347. What are you doing: writing this
349. Hair: messy? im sick
350. Mood: gross
351. Listening to: nothing
352. Talking to anyone: no
353. Watching anything: mr nightmare
Section Eighteen: Yes or No
354. Are you a vegetarian: no
355. Are you a carnivore: no
356. Are you heterosexual: no
357. Do you like penguins: yes
358. Do you write poetry: sometimes? i dont share it
359. Do you see stupid people: yes
360. You + Me: uh
361. Do you like the Osbournes: never really watched it
362. Can you see flying pigs: egrhf
363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: no
364. Are you from Afghanistan: no
365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: no
366. Are you a zombie: no
367. Am i annoying you: yes
368. Do you bite your nails: yes
369. Can you cross your eyes: yes
370. Do you make your bed in the morning: no
371. Have you touched someone's private part: yes why would you word it like private part
Section Nineteen: This or That
372. Winter or Summer: winter
373. Spring or Autumn: autumn im quirky hahahahahahha
374. Shakira or Britney: neither
375. MTV or VH1: neither
376. Black or White: mix of both is good
377. Yellow or Pink: pink
378. Football or Basketball: basketball
379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mobile phone
380. Pen or Pencil: pencil i feel safer
381. Cold or Hot: cold it’s easier to warm up than to cool down
382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercings but i want a small tattoo
383. Inside or Outside: uh both
384. Weed or Alcohol: weed
385. Coke or Pepsi: coke
386. Tape or Glue: tape
387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: mcdonalds
Section Twenty: Opinions
388. What do you think about classical music: love it!
389. About boy bands: sure!
390. About suicide: i dont think people understand that someone who is suicidal, their perception is collapsed. even though they subconsciously know they have other options, they believe with every bit of them that is their one and only choice.
391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: choke
392. About teen pregnancy: make sure you can handle the child and have support. if not, get an abortion or put it up for adoption. seriously. only keep it if it’s something you want, not because you were being shamed.
393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: on hastings shooting up heroin idk
394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: taylor
395. About gay men: love yall
Section Twenty-One:
396. Do you have a website: no
397. Current weather right now: uh cloudy
398. Current time: 8:15 pm
399. Any shout outs: no one follows me
400. Last thoughts: fuck,
0 notes
1-116
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
I’m confused as to why this is double spaced. i don’t want it to be double spaced, yet its double spaced. why? fuck off.
2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
occassionally but not on a regular basis which is tragic
3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
no. thats fun.
4: Do you find it easy to trust others?
i trust too easily but i shouldn’t and it bothers me but like, when it matters i don’t trust that easily. i don’t think.
5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?
sitting in bed thinking i should sleep and then not sleeping for a couple hours bc I’m annoying as fuuuuuUUuuuuUuuck
6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
molly and lex definitely lol
7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
probably cry forever and die
8: Are you close with your dad?
not really but its fine
9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
i didn't
10: What are you listening to?
jennifer talk like always when I’m doing these questions
11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
probably just water so then i can add flavoring #hacks
12: Do you like hickeys?
yes they’re nice
13: What time do you go to bed?
whenever the fuck i want I’m an adult, but usually not before midnight ever
14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
nacho boy. this bitch. like u bought me nachos. then told me u wish u were buying me nachos. and then u tell me u wanna not talk bc ur talking to another girl. how many times can u fuckin say we’ll hang out then cancel on me then tell me i look hot then tell me ur busy for the rest of ur life then tell me u want me then ignore me and let our snap streak die. fuck YOU.
15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
not as quickly but i can still do it
16: Do you always answer your texts?
usually always yes. unless I’m ignoring u. but even then ill answer eventually.
17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
ummMmmMm idk who i fell hardest for tbh. but chances are yes bc i hate everyone
18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
im one of those ppl who constantly has to talk to her friends so like…5 seconds ago lol
19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
JOEY!!!! THE LOML!!!! he picked me up last time i saw him despite him being literally half my weight. i love him. he could never make me sad. he’s one of my safe spots. always happy in his arms.
20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
ummmmm i was waiting for a boy to message me back so probably about him tbh
21: Is anyone else in the room with you?
there is not………that i can see
22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?
justin timberlake would say yes so i say yes
23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
no. i am 75634728930% happier now than i was four months ago. i love college. but I’m still not happy. just happier. ya KNOW
24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
ye i don’t know if things are necessarily broken but they def need fixing but also I’m not gonna try if they’re not gonna try YA FEEL
25: In the past week, have you cried?
yes. i cried over a dog.
26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
white.
27: Do people ever call you by your last name?
my teachers used to but not really anymore
28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?
umm the love of my life on tinder is potentially ignoring me or is maybe just really busy i don’t know but i love him and want him to message me back. also, nacho boy like always but iM OVER IT.
29: Do you have a best friend?
id say i have many
30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
no. lol
31: Who was your last call/text message from?
mary was my last text and my mother my last call
32: Are you mad at anyone?
everyone tbh. i hate people. I’m mad at everyone forever.
33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
yes like…..4 hours ago
34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?
25
35: How many more days until your birthday?
ONE MONTH EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
36: Do you have any summer plans yet?
lmao tf no i don’t even have plans for tomorrow
37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?
yes joseph and peter r cool
38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
i do not really think so, but who tf knows
39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
i do not really think so?
40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
not that i recall. i mean like now looking back, yes, obviously. but at the time no.
41: Do you think age matters in relationships?
to an extent yes but also to an extent no
42: Are you available?
not emotionally but physically
43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
like………i don’t even know if my feelings are real. don’t fucking ask me this. bye.
44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
nips
45: Do you believe exes can be friends?
i think so, if its the right kind of exes ya but shits never gonna work if there r still feelings
46: Do you regret anything?
yes, being born
47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
how fuckin TIRED I AM I WANNA DIE
48: Did you ever lose a best friend?
indeed i have, my dude
49: Was your last kiss a mistake?
i wouldn’t say so
50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
bc hes involved w Satan (the girl not the devil) and i cant deal w that right now
51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
no he has not
52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
ummmm we haven’t talked since he dropped me off but he may text me tomorrow but I’m not about to text him first
53: What was the last thing you ate?
restaurant style tortilla chips made w 7 seeds and grains
54: Did you get any compliments today?
i think so. if the boy i had sex w didn’t compliment me i shouldn’t have had sex w him. I’m sure he said something
55: Where are you going on your next vacation?
i don’t even know if I’m going on a next vacation
56: Do you own anything from other countries?
i do not think so, which is tragic
57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?
girls currently
58: Where have you lived most of your life?
illinois all my life which is LAME
59: When was the last time you took a long drive?
friday when my mom picked me up from school and drove me home 3 hours
60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
yes in like 7th grade lol but not since i do not believe
61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
i don’t think so?
62: Who do you text the most?
ummm this is a great question. maybe mary or ola.
63: What was the last movie you saw?
i watched zootopia yesterday. i think it was yesterday. idk but i think that was the last movie i saw. unless I’m going crazy. wait jk i watched the beginning of mr. woodcock tonight but didn’t finish it
64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?
i don’t have a current boyfriend/girlfriend
65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?
zero
66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
no he is not U ALREADY ASKED THIS
67: Do you curse around your parents?
nope they’d kill me i think
68: Are you happy with where you live?
i suppose. it could be better but it could also be much worse
69: Picture of yourself?
imagine a pile of shit inside a trash can filled w trash….thats me
70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
i like monogamy if its w a good person ya know.
71: Have you ever been dumped?
i do not believe so because i don’t recall ever being in a relationship
72: What do you most like about making out?
when they stop making out w u and kiss ur neck
73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
yes, thats what all my make out sessions r like. I’ve never seriously been involved w anyone ever
74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
1000% other person bc I’m a PUSSY
75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
smile but also like…abs. fuck me up
76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
either alex or sam
77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
that has indeed happened lmao.
78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
that has thankfully not happened.
79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
when boys call me baby :))))))) and flirts w me :))))))))) i love attention and boys being nice to me
80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
ummm. depends what ‘involved with’ means. fuck? yes. date? no.
81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
no bc nobody has ever had a crush on me lol
82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
i tell my friends and i have a decent amount of friends.
83: Do you miss your last sweetie?
my last sweetie does not exist, sweetie. jeez get off my fuckin case bro.
84: Last time you slow danced with someone?
probs never. i don’t ever recall slow dancing w anyone
85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
that was never a thing that happened.
86: How can I win your heart?
PUPPIES and soft blankets and FOOOOD
87: What is your astrological sign?
sagittarius
88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
nothing much different from what i was doing at 11pm last night
89: Do you cook?
i do not :(
90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
no bc i have no old flame
91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
kinda, ya. :(
92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
ummm. i don’t wanna fall into a relationship too quick but also if i like someone i wanna date them ya know
93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
nice hair, nice smile, nice body
94: Name four things that you wish you had!
1. a smoothie
2. a boy to cuddle me to sleep rn
3. medicine to cure my brain
4. money
95: Are you a player?
i wouldn’t consider myself to be
96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
according to the definition of a day being 24 hours i believe yes but according to my definition of a day being from when you wake up to when you go to sleep no.
97: Are you a tease?
I’ve been called a tease but i don’t think i permanently am. i just looked hot and had to get attention from a boy
98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
i don’t think so???
99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
yes. justin timberlake
100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
probs
101: Hugs or Kisses?
hugs
102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?
yes 100%
103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
smile
104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?
YES
105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?
um id probs talk to them about it but tell them i wouldn’t if they were still in a relationship regardless ya know
106: Do you flirt a lot?
i try but i fail a lot
107: Your last kiss?
like 4 hours ago w a boy named colin
108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?
yes
109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
yes
110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
justin timberlake or brandon saad
111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
i have a solid idea
112: Does someone like you currently?
i think so yes. possibly multiple guys yike
113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
i do and it HURTS
114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
id like to be in a relationship but everyone i want to be in a relationship w makes it impossible to do so
115: Ever made out with just a friend?
yes. i have, thank u v much
116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?
ive never been in. a relationship so i don’t have anything to compare it to.
0 notes
tagged by @kokokysoo for one of those “get to know me” memes! (under the cut cuz its so long)
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (idk how many people ill end up tagging and dont feel obligated!!)
THE LAST:
1. Drink: water but like i think my flatmates put vodka in the ice cube trays so?? not sure exactly how much is accidentally Not Water
2. Phone Call: uhhhhh a study abroad program advisor
3. Text Message: my older brother tryna convince me that i’ll make friends eventually lmao
4. Song you listened to: i actually stopped writing this to grab a sweater but then TT came on and i instinctively dance to it now so that happened
5. Time you cried: almost last night but like... not enough feelings to actually cry yet just wait
6. Dated someone twice: never even dated someone once, bro...
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i never regret giving my dog kisses but sometimes my cat swipes at me :/
8. Been cheated on: gotta have a boyfriend first to get cheated on
9. Lost someone special: yup
10. Been depressed: only since i was 12 years old l m f a o
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i hate puking so i never go past being tipsy
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12. red!
13. millennial pink fight me
14. rose gold fight me again
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yyyes but i sure would like to make some more Here, at my Current University
16. Fallen out of love: mmm not Love but definitely Like? i stopped Liking someone who i had a crush on
17. Laughed until you cried: so frequently it’s worrisome
18. Found out someone was talking about you: um did u mean middle and high school? i was such a petty bitch tho i put em in their places after crying in my room alone lmfao
19. Met someone who changed you: yes yes yes! dallon is the first who comes to mind he’s... no words
20. Found out who your friends are: ummm i dont know?
21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: ...my mom??? lmao
GENERAL:
22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them except a few who ive just added bc we’re all transfer students to the same university this year and im Desperate
23. Do you have any pets: yes!! 2 cats, Harry and Kai (shut up ok i’ve always liked that syllable in chinese) and one dog, Lady my perfect cuddle angel baby
24. Do you want to change your name: honestly... sometimes yeah? but only because it’s so boring when it’s translated into chinese/korean so maybe i’d just change my names in those languages idk
25. What did you do for your last birthday: probably just went out to dinner w/ my family, but when i got back to my old college my friends and i went to a store in Queens it was such a good day...
26. What time did you wake up: like... noon probably lmao #depression
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: rewatching exo next door and gettin emotional over ksoo
28. Name something you can not wait for: THE POWER OF MUSIC BITCH LESS THAN 12 HOURS NOW
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a couple weeks ago when she and my dad helped me move in to my apartment
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didnt have fucking depression! anxiety is easy to deal with for me but depression isnt
31. What are you listening to right now: walk on memories
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have a 2nd cousin named Tom he’s like 50 years old
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ......so much
34. Most visited website: netflix/facebook/tumblr
35. Mole/s: one on my back, one on my neck, one under my left boob... i think that’s it
36. Mark/s: mostly bruises on my shins bc im clumsy; also some shaving scars from like 3+ years ago (one of em bled for 4 days while i was in china!)
37. Childhood dream: typical american kid stuff like ballerina and movie star
38. Hair color: medium brown i guess? it used to be lighter but it’s been getting darker as i get older
39. Long or short hair: i just cut it short again so it’s just touching my shoulders when dry (it’s wavy-curly so it’s a bit longer than that in reality)
40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeah can i have uhhhhhhhh byun baekhyun? no one irl tho
41. What do you like about yourself: ive got a great complexion that has really calmed down in the past few years! and i love my eyes ive got gorgeous eyes and a nice smile and a cute body and ive been doin self-love the past year can u tell?
42. Piercings: just regular ear piercings that i only got... a year ago...
43. Blood type: i never remember but maybe O? whichever one is the most common i think idk tho
44. Nickname: lulu is a nickname, ummm ive had a few friends call me em or ems which is cute
45. Relationship status: chronically single and repulsive to the male population, perhaps?
46. Zodiac: sun in pisces/leo rising (fun fact when i was little a kid asked me my sign so i said pisces and he called me fish poop so i cried) (he was probably a gemini the fuckin asshole), year of the tiger
47. Pronouns: she/her
48. Favorite tv show: pushing daisies, 30 rock, scrubs, grey’s anatomy but only up til the 8th season then it’s bad
49. Tattoos: i actually almost got one a few weeks ago but then i lost my job :/ i wanted to get “je ne regrette rien” tattooed on my hip bone real small
50. Right or left handed: right - i used to be able to write pretty well with my left hand but alas...
51. Surgery: yyyup wisdom teeth removal, eyelid surgery to get rid of some bumpy things, broken arm when i was like 1.5 years old, and im getting lasik next summer probably
52. Piercing: ya already asked ya doofus
53. Sport: my dad made me play basketball in middle school i got 2 technical fouls bc i had anger issues so i stopped playing basketball. i got Decent at ballet tho!
54. Vacation: we havent really had the money lately
55. Pair of trainers: i just bought 2 new pairs bc i ruined my only pair in seoul and had to throw them out (they got soaked in the rain and then mildewed n all) (side note: they’re so expensive?? the adidas and nike were as expensive as the new balance which is Silly so i just bought adidas and nike)
MORE GENERAL:
56. Eating: nothing rn but i need to go get dinner...
57. Drinking: did we not already go over this
58. I’m about to go: either to the dining hall or to a nearby restaurant im honestly not sure
59. Waiting for: exo to move in next door to me only to discover that one of them is my childhood best friend-slash-first love and another has fallen in love with me and my clumsy but lovable personality :)
60. Want: byun baekhyun (im kidding kind of, um i want to make friends here and be less anxious about my classes and life in general)
61. Get married: yeah one day but so far no one i’ve met is Vibing with that seeing as no one will even ask me out im not Super Hopeful :/
62. Career: chinese major/korean minor at a university um hopefully after i graduate someone will hire me and give me money to do something i dont completely hate but we’ll see
WHICH IS BETTER:
63. Hugs or kisses: i literally would not know so i will say Hugs because they’re the only things ive experienced! and i could use a really long hug rn
64. Lips or eyes: ...eyes... but lips r important too cuz i cant even look at a photo of amy schumer anymore w/out staring at her terrifying lips
65. Shorter or taller: taller but someone around my height would be ok too (.....im just sayin im like the same height as bbh...)
66. Older or younger: older bc im not about to go dating a freshman or a high schooler lmfao
67. Nice arms or nice stomach: arrrrrrrrms
68. Hookup or relationship: never had either but i think i’d prefer a stable relationship to some extent?? we just dont know
69. Troublemaker or hesitant: im a troublemaker when im comfortable w/ people/places but other than that hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER:
70. Kissed a stranger: no
71. Drank hard liquor: yeah it’s nasty :/ but it does the trick
72. Lost glasses/contact lenses: somehow no
73. Turned someone down: ya this one guy hit on me when i was walking thru myeongdong but he was a) a stranger b) 25 years old c) from egypt so like it was never gonna happen buddy
74: Sex on the first date: gonna need a first date before i can even answer (the answer would be no i am not down w/ that)
75. Broken someone’s heart: probably not, ill dont think im capable of doing that plus im still so young that realistically it just hasnt been a possibility
76. Had your heart broken: not really, my silly crushes have all been resolved easily bc i never talk about them and then i notice things i dont like about the person and stop liking them like that
77. Been arrested: no but a friend of mine got arrested for trespassing on a roof in nyc last year lmao
78: Cried when someone died: yeah
79. Fallen for a friend: sort of? briefly? it never went anywhere it was silly
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
80. Yourself: i try to most days but it’s rough
81: Miracles: i mean im not a non-believer but i also don’t actively wait for them to happen or really put much stock in them
82. Love at first sight: im not sure because bbh hasnt seen me yet so how would we know??
83. Santa Claus: not anymore i think when i was 8 i sorta stopped
84. Kiss on the first date: never even had a first date or a first kiss ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
85. Angels: um yeah actually! proof they exist - byun baekhyun do kyungsoo kim jongdae kim jongin the list goes on,,
OTHER:
90. Current best friends: dallon, lilli, ida, stephanie, aria!
91: Eye color: light green. i have Gorgeous eyes!!!
92: Favorite movie: a taiwanese movie called Secret, i rly liked ksoo’s movie Hyung, Chicago the Musical... there are more but im drawing a blank
i guess ill tag... no one but if ur reading this and u wanna do it feel free to say i tagged u! i love learning about u guys it makes me feel less alone
0 notes
OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???
Took a weekend off of life
Retail therapy at its finest today
Even though new jeans were overdue
It’s crazy how it still came
I guess it’s a force of nature
But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T
This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu
April 2nd, 2017
BTS Wings Tour
I still can’t believe it happened
I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today
It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod
Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit
will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce
ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt
EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well
oop i just bought more rings goodbye money
my charger broke gg
time to get another one
I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink
or more like
my appreciation for pink is coming back
When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break
SPRING QUARTER LEGGO
tu/th schedule
let’s hope this all works well keke
week 1 recap
tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL
sees harry after walking out of my tdpw
sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL
goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3
last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA
there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker
Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut
First attempt at 양념치킨~
been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd
it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered
T^T
went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday
started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke
“started here and ending it here?” LOL
currently craving anything strawberry
don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop
bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time
under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL
i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole
i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week…
how they gonna do season 4 i wonder
Week 2 thursday
I was actually really looking forward to class today
Also my rings came!
Though were they worth the $50….not so sure
Were they cute? Yes
But not as cute as the other one T^T
So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww
I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte
Cappuccine frappe mix
But it’s sadly not on amazon ):
This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-
Han came to visit!
Friday
Papa johns
Saturday
Snooze brunch
Infinitea
Abeh hangout
In n out
Sunday
Aquarium!
Koon thai
Ramen yamadaya
Boba bar
and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding
Had an epiphany
It’s not anenome
It’s anemone
Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”
Started 13 reasons why with Han
Finished it, tuesday week 3
Hmmm
How to feel
finished strong woman
park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE
When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves
And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
I’m not crying r u crying ;___;
어떻게
Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3
highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh
You know what i want to do?
Go to an olive garden
Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol
Not really sure what i want…
But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):
i….skipped out on an interview today
was it the right choice
i may never know
most recent ep of snk got me fucked up
SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS
WHO IS CHRISTA
Lol i hella bombed my quiz
GOODBYE
GONNA P/NP HAHA
Week 4 weekend
Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle
and i am in irvine
had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back
thank god there weren’t many cars
lol 0/10 do not recommend
Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle
Glad to be back in bed
But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck
Need to grocery shop
Dammit i got called for jury duty
Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss
Week 5
i’m sick…
just watched 5 centimeters per second
a little sadder than i was an hour ago
fuck
i forgot that my jeans are new
and i washed it
and my pink shirt is ruined
fml
triggered
thursday after rolling over ma ankle
i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL
also saw an owl at school today
and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting
week 5 tuesday
saw two bunnies on my way out to school
I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍
I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH
ABCD today
Some qualitee photos were taken
Im tired now
Really debating the 4th term
third day of back pain
flexibility dying
wow what is happening???
…..army 4th term is $75 cries
EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri
EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear
bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut
i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella
im
Week 6 thursday
last leadership meeting
one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!?
it was nice
wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool
then…we decided to go to PB LOL
chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people.
we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol
and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL
went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life
NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired
salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl
I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends
y i do dis to meself
Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad
May 12th
I bought the membership LOL
Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️
im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair
omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL
Just tryna level up here :<
Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning
Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL
EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips
watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED
Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me
Rewatched and finished reply 1997
Wow what is life when yoon jae is life
But also what is life when your idols are life
Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL
i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore
im
on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???
lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates
- my nails are constantly chipping
- forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming
- im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10
- struggles to figure out graduation things
- paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever
LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover)
what am i going to do with my thursday nights now?
it’s been a good run
Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i
When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before
Hnnnngh
i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o
Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap
Tis hard
Let’s make a list:
花樣年華
Strong power thank you
You never walk alone
Ireumeun deborah LOL
Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad
EXTRA + ORDINARY*
Lost my way/found my way*
Click clack to the bang
Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again)
Ctrl+c, ctrl+v
do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo)
To lose your path, Is the way to find that path*
꽃길만 걷자*
Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017
EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL
Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE.
I feel…betrayed
Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life
May 21st
My first haircut since…
Since i got it cut over the summer?????
Bought me stole and tassel today
Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH
Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL
Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened
nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair
and audrey and malia agreed
i gotta say
i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL
Cant get the seventeen song outta my head
Shookt by the choreography
Y'all im so fckin shookt
First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer”
Then they win the BBMAs like a boss
Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat
Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON”
Im
SCREAMING
Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao
he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down?
“embrace the unknown”
I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s
10/10 a mistake
Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback
Esp wonwoo and dk
But also vernon 👌🏼
First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc!
Whoa
Also gonna pass by texas too :O
Knocking some states off my list
I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY
IT WAS V COOL
i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but
i need to be/live by a body of water at all times
or i won’t feel comfortable
this is weird
i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL
ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left
im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens
EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure
omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM???
like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im…
sigh
Already excited about the festa
But like omfg they released the schedule today
And just
WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2??
SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im
IM SCREAMING
also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;
after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries*
time to try again! *^*
okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY
i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore
third time’s the charm right?
also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-
hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do
TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10
then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday
but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol…
and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l
let’s not be a potato this last week k?
burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi
this is revolutionary
week 9 weekend to irvine
irritated on the way over
irritated on the way back
lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home
NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT
wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm
whoa
“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri
i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings
Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise
And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol
that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg
dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade
still not what i was going for
but this will do for now
Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm
Goodbye study time??
Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT.
Freakin bighit
My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected );
EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem
THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE
Doesnt feel like it…
But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school
Holy shit
Oh man
I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….
saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg!
knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol
EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I
put my things up for sale
i forgot that i might need my light el oh el
crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T
ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM
LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM
JUNE 12TH
FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL
I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER???
also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot
i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf
wait no go back
EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me
so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ???
i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool
also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts
omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*
Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years
It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL
memories ;___;
Oh and i guess my chair too
lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home
finals week hangout list:
tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry
wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius
thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL
and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now)
it feels weird..................................
but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL
and with that
goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅㅇ
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