#we had another alter recently who took nearly a week to fully form and we knew he was there but he sort of hid away until he'd formed fully

[thethingything]

I keep feeling like someone's co-fronting or very close to front but just kind of lurking instead of doing anything, but it's not anyone I know and when I try to ask who's there, the most I get in terms of a response is a slightly stronger sense of someone being there but nothing intelligible

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding IX

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV  - - - Part V - - - - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII

Content Warning: This chapter contains potentially triggering material, particularly aftermath of attempted suicide as well as discussions of bodily injury.

Cody woke up the morning after the...drunken keldabe still feeling uneasy. He spent half an hour attempting to read over reports in preparation for the Umbaran campaign before giving it up as a lost cause. He distracted himself for a little while by pouring over last night’s cantina surveillance, before giving up on that as well and sending a message to General Skywalker.

‘Any updates on General Kenobi’s status?’

He watched the comms as communications from everyone besides the General trickled in. He answered a few requests for requisitions, forwarded some medical reports, and ignored an irritating handful of overly-personal questions. 

Agonizing over it the whole time, he opened a comm-text link to Obi-Wan. It took nearly an hour, but he managed to send two sentences. ‘Hope you’re recovering well. Look forward to upcoming mission discussion.’

He immediately wanted to retroactively delete the message, mortified by every word and deeply concerned at every second that passed without a reply.

He spent the next 30 minutes hunched over, quickly closing every incoming CT and CC communication, justifying the time to himself as ‘technically on leave.’

He lurched forward when he finally received a General’s comm code, but slumped in disappointment when it was Skywalker, not Kenobi.

‘Not as drunk but still seems a little high. He says he wasn’t drugged. He’s taking the rest of the day off. I’m monitoring.’

Taking the rest of the day off. Did that mean he wasn’t carrying around his comm? Kriff. Should he more or less concerned that the general was actually taking a day off?

He decided to be more concerned.

‘Thank you for the update. Respectfully request information on any changes.’

Hopefully that would encourage Skywalker to keep him informed even if he stopped freaking out over his vod’s behavior.

Stowing the remote comm, he stood up and exited the temporary planet-side office, throwing himself into cleaning up the mess that was nearly 20,000 clone troopers simultaneously attempting to get the most out of a very brief R&R. 

Shortly before mid-day, he received another update from Skywalker.

‘Just managed to get him to medical. Healer cleared him of drug interactions but Obi-Wan’s still acting strange (not crying, but a lot of hugging).’

Cody stared at that for a long while.

‘Any other verbal indications of upcoming danger?’ he finally asked. Skywalker didn’t reply. 

Shortly after nightfall, his incident reports were interrupted by a call from an unknown temple number. He quickly opened it, and a holo of an unfamiliar Mon Calamari female healer appeared in miniature on the desk.

“Commander Cody. Thank you for answering so quickly. Are you somewhere private?” she asked, voice deliberately neutral.

The Commander tensed up. “Yes, sir. I’m in CC office space, alone. The room and the channel are both secure. Is this regarding General Kenobi?”

“Yes.” She replied. “My name is Master Bant Eerin; I’m a temple healer as well as a personal friend of Obi-Wan’s. He’s...he’s in the healing halls right now. We’re still trying to understand exactly what happened- I’ll tell you what I can but first we need to rule out any possible drugs he may have contact with. I need you to describe in detail anything he may have been exposed to that could have possibly had mind-altering effects.”

The Commander was a professional. He swallowed back his fear, his questions, and his demands to know what was going on.

“Of course. Everything on the Negotiator was GAR Standard, and I was with him when we left the ship. We went directly to the lower levels. The first time he was exposed to anyone outside the 212th was when we left our transport on level 3915. I...actually have footage of him the whole time night after that point. I’m sending it over right now, sir.”

“That would be extremely helpful, thank you.” He watched as she pulled it up on a second comm, sound barely audible. 

He continued with his report: “One of the boys took it without permission. He didn’t mean anything by it, he’s just an idiot; I’ve already issued a severe reprimand. In any case, he brought it to me after I issued surveillance on the cantina, it tracks everything the General did- as far as I can tell, he had a glass of house grub wine, two shots of rancor blood, and an unnamed mixed cocktail ‘on the house.’ You can see everything the bartender added- as far as I can tell nothing was slipped in. He just... blacked out suddenly after the fourth drink, and quickly startled awake, confused by his surroundings.”

“I see.” Her tone was still carefully neutral and Cody didn’t know how to read her expression. He waited, wishing he was wearing his bucket so he didn’t have to keep schooling his face into professional patience.

“You brought him back to the temple...correct?” 

“Yes, sir.”

She let out a deep breath, gills fluttering slightly. “We’ll probably have more questions later, but please understand our inquires are entirely based around determining how we can best help Obi-Wan. This call and any future ones are not intended, and should absolutely not be interpreted, as indications of blame. He’s actually spoken to me about you before, I know he has the deepest respect for you, personally and professionally. Someone will likely be assigned to talk to everyone whose spent time with him recently, including myself.”

The sick feeling in his gut from last night returned full force. “I...believe I understand sir. His condition is serious, then?”

Her gills fluttered again.

“Even now, I think we can safely anticipate a full physical recovery. He...there’s no easy way to say this...it appears he attempted to end his own life. Knight Skywalker got to him just in time, and he received bacta within minutes of the initial burn. I...like I said...we’ll began work to figure out why-”

Her voice broke and she stared up, large tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. She hastily wiped them away.

“Rest assured commander, he’s getting the best treatment possible. Thank you for your assistance. I’ll do my best to answer any questions you might have right now. This is my personal comm link- please feel free to reach out to me at any point for updates.”

“I-” Cody cleared his throat. “Can I come to the temple? To...” he trailed off, not sure how to finish.

“Not tonight, I’m sorry. The healers need to focus; he’s not allowed any visitors until he’s out of Bacta, I’m afraid.”

“Skywalker must be throwing a fit at that” Cody remarked numbly.

The healer winced. “Knight Skywalker is currently sedated. He was...injured in the struggle to keep Obi-Wan from further harm. Master Windu witnessed part of it, but we’ll have to wait until its safe to wake him to get the full story. I’ll be notifying Captain Rex of the situation after we finish speaking.”

“I’ll do it.” Cody offered immediately. “Tell me what happened.”

Eerin hesitated. 

“Please, Sir. It will be better coming from me and...if he’s the only other trooper who’s being informed at the moment...”

“Of course,” she said quietly. “We don’t know the full circumstances, but at some point in performing emergency care for Master Kenobi, Knight Skywalker was stabbed in the lower abdomen with a vibroblade. It pierced his large intestine. The blade was pulled out shortly before healers arrived, causing some further damage and blood loss. He’s already finished surgery, and should only need a few hours of Bacta at most. Considering his extraordinary past recovery rates, he’ll likely be out of bed tomorrow and fully healed by the end of the week.”

“General Kenobi wouldn’t...” Cody trailed off again. He was having a hard time putting coherent sentences together.

Bant looked at the ceiling for a moment, seeming to collect her thoughts.

“Psychosis can have many manifestations. Even with- with conventional injuries, people can mistake help for harm. There’s just too much we don’t understand, and only so much we can learn before they wake up. Are you certain you wish to be the one to inform Captain Rex?”

“Yes.” That was about the only thing the Commander was certain of right now. “Is there anyone else in the GAR I should inform of...anything?”

“The military aspect of this isn’t my area of expertise. If there’s someone you trust who can be a support for you, I don’t see why you shouldn’t be able to tell them in confidence. Some form of what happened is going to get out eventually.” she replied. “Please use your discretion, I suppose. It’s...not really my speciality but I imagine you’ll receive further orders on how much to release to the GAR once Obi-Wan’s stable.”

Right. Discretion. Because Obi-Wan wasn’t just Obi-Wan- he was a high general in charge of nearly 1/3 of the republic’s forces. If word of this got out to the wrong ears it would cause mass panic, maybe even an emboldened separatist advance. It was an insane amount of responsibility for one person, no wonder - he deliberately didn’t finish the thought.

“I’ll comm the Captain immediately. Thank you for the information, General.” he said out loud.

“Feel free to contact me for further updates, and tell Captain Rex he’s welcome to do the same. I’ll message you when its clear to visit the halls.”

“Yes, Sir.” Cody responded, saluting automatically. 

“Take care of yourself, Commander Cody”

The hologram blinked out. Cody sat motionless for several long moment before sweeping his desk off, sending the assorted flimsies and redundant comm-units of various designations to the ground.

He stared at the empty desk, then tapped a button on his wrist comm, opening a private audio channel. “CT-7567, please come in” he said calmly.

“Cody?” came the alarmed reply. “I’m here, what’s going on?” Why did he sound so panicked? He had deliberately used his calmest voice. Oh well.

“Please report immediately to CC Office 12 in Guard Headquarters”

“I’ll be there in 10″

Cody hung up. He stared at the blank wall. He knew something was wrong with how the General said goodbye.

He opened the single desk drawer and dumped the odd wires and coins inside to the floor. Eerin had said burn. That could mean a lot of things, but lightsaber was the most likely. 

Cody puked profusely into the empty drawer. He stared at the vomit for a moment before carefully closing the drawer. He still felt a little sick. He hadn’t even said anything back to the General, he just stood there, frozen. 

He stared vaguely at the wall across, wondering if he was going to puke again.

Rex burst into the room. “Cody! What’s going on?! You- kark, what is that smell?”

“I puked in the desk drawer” Cody explained.

Rex shut the door behind him and slowly walked over. He knelt down next to the desk, gently taking Cody’s hands in this own. “Cody. Vod. Talk to to me.” 

“Obi-Wan tried to kill himself.”

Rex’s hands tightened over Cody’s compulsively and Cody squeezed back harder. He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Rex’s expression.

“Some of ghost company went out for drinks last night. Obi-Wan started acted oddly. We flew towards the temple. He started crying. We got to the temple. He Keldabe kissed me. He told me goodbye. I didn’t say anything back.”

“Oh, vod” Rex whispered. He gently pulled the slack Cody off the chair and onto his lap on the floor. Cody continued mechanically. “I did reports today. Skywalker said he was with him. I left Obi-Wan a message. I don’t think he saw it. He tried to kill himself. Skywalker must have left him alone. He saved him. Obi-Wan stabbed Skywalker.”

Rex froze, still holding on to Cody. 

“The healer called. Asked about drugs. They don’t think its drugs but they had to ask. She said they’re both going to heal completely fine. I have a link if you want to call the healer directly. That’s...it. I have reports to do now.”

Rex held Cody tighter. “Not right now”

“It’s war. People get hurt. People die. I have work to do”

“Not right now,” Rex repeated. “You have the right to be upset. You have the right to grieve. You’re a person, of course you have feelings.”

“Obi-Wan said that.” Cody whispered. Then he started crying. He continued to quietly sob for some time, hurt and bewildered and scared. They sat on the floor together; Rex barely moved, simply held on to his older brother as he fell apart.

Inevitably, Cody’s tears dried up and he pulled away. 

“I don’t know how to clean this,” he said gesturing at that closed drawer. 

“I’ll take care of it. Let’s just get you to bed. There’s CC bunks here, right? 

“Yes but...”

Cody didn’t really like sleeping so isolated, but he also couldn’t imagine facing the 212th right now. 

“I’ll stay here with you. We’ll go to the temple together in the morning.”

Rex shepherded Cody to the fresher. He stared at the mirror with a vague sense of recognition before automatically moving through a standard sanitation routine. By the time he finished, Rex had joined him in his room.

“What did you do with the vomit?” Cody asked, suddenly exhausted. They slipped into bed together.

“Swapped the whole desk with Pond’s. That bastard knows what he did.”

Cody let out a snort. Then, much to his surprise, he sank heavily into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Part X

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Chip & Alexx Pons

Happy Friday! This week's FF is a married couple who are actively serving in the United States Air Force, and stationed in San Antonio. Alex and Chip Pons share their inspiring story of what it's like being an openly gay, married couple in the military, what they're doing to help normalize the stigma around that, and their unconventional yet totally charming wedding. Read on to see what we mean...

Where are you from? Alexx is originally from California and Chip is from Michigan.

Where do you live? We currently live in San Antonio, Texas

Instagram handle: @chip_pons  @alexx_pons

Age: Alexx is 30 and Chip is 28

On an unforgettable trip together: We were both given the opportunity to support the Air Force Wounded Warrior (AFW2) Program and Department of Defense team during the 2017 Invictus Games in Toronto, Canada. Something about that trip, despite our workload, was wonderful. It might have had something to do with the amazing people we met or the area we stayed in (this little village in the gay district near downtown)… it was just a wonderful trip and one of the only where the military sent us as a couple to do what we love as a team – that is when we are at our best!

On knowing they're "the one": We met through the process of joining the Air Force; fate brought us together at the same base in New Mexico. Alexx was actually Chip's instructor for a week-long military course and it was there that we realized we have the same job as photojournalists. Chip walked away from that initial meeting swearing he was going to marry Alexx… 

On quiet, intimate proposals: Our proposals were very true to who we are as a couple; intimate, private and meaningful. I proposed to Chip first over a quiet night at home, and Chip proposed several weeks later while we were in the kitchen preparing dinner. To others, these moments might seem to be lacking a "wow" factor, but for us, they are some of our most cherished memories!

On making the most of a hard situation: We actually didn't have a wedding! To keep a very long and dramatic story short, we found ourselves in the middle of some very stressful and borderline homophobic professional trouble. As a same-sex, dual military couple who happened to be co-workers, there were some professional obstacles that we had to overcome in order to have our happy ending. 

We were essentially punished by leadership for having what was termed an "unprofessional relationship," and were eventually ordered to not speak to one another. So, over a lunch break on Tuesday, Sept. 15, we drove down to the Curry County court house in uniform and swore to spend the rest of our lives fighting for one another. 

Getting married was the only option to save our careers at the time which we had both worked so hard to build, but it also the key to our happiness and nearly three years later it is still the easiest and greatest decision we ever made! 

On coming out: Alexx came out in his early 20s. His family was and still is very loving and supportive. In fact, they were the ones who sat him down and initiated the “coming out” conversation out of concern for his mental wellbeing. From that moment, Alexx felt fully comfortable being his authentic self, and his family has been so supportive of our marriage and welcomed me to the family with open arms! 

Chip on the other hand is a bit of a late bloomer. In all honesty, I am the first man Chip ever dated or connected with emotionally. While he had a great relationship with his family, his fear of their disapproval kept him from living an honest life. When we met, Chip's world was turned upside down! For the first time, he was experiencing love, trust and self-acceptance. Before Chip had the chance to come out, a coworker we were stationed with felt the need to let Chip's family know he was involved with me and from there, it all blew up (personally and professionally) for us. But with me by his side, Chip took a leap of faith and chose love over the life he knew and the relationships he had. For nearly four years, Chip's relationship with his family was non-existent, but recently, those relationships have started rebuilding themselves.  

On being openly gay in the military: We have our ups and downs just like everyone else. Constantly having to convince people we aren't brothers is hilarious and "correcting" people when they ask about our wives can be somewhat annoying, but for the most part active-duty members are very accepting. Those around us do a great job of making us feel supported and just like everyone else. We've found that having a good sense of humor goes a long way especially when dealing with people who may be awkward but have good intentions! Most military bases even celebrate Pride Month now, which is slightly unnecessary, but appreciated at least from an educational standpoint (when done correctly). 

No matter how much support we feel, there will always be toxic individuals who thrive on spewing hate. Chip wrote a Pride Month commentary once about serving as a dual military, same-sex couple and when it was published, the overwhelming hate on social media (from civilians and active-duty members) was almost impossible to ignore. But we reminded ourselves why we joined the Air Force: to serve our country and its citizens; so that everyone has the right to express their opinions, no matter what those might be!  

On normalizing same-sex marriages within the military: Coming out and accepting that you are gay is usually a life-altering experience. Doing so while adhering to military customs and courtesies, regulations and the day-to-day stress of military life takes that experience to a whole new level. While being a member of the LGBT+ community is a pivotal part of who we are, there is so much more to us than that. We are husbands, sons, brothers, friends... and professionally, we are Airmen. We try to promote a lifestyle that praises ALL aspects of what makes someone who they are as a whole instead of just focusing on one aspect. 

For us, it's all about redefining what people in the military perceive normal to be. From us attending official military functions together and being seen supporting one another professionally, to holding hands in the grocery store (in Texas I might add) and enjoying a night out with friends, we try to show that life goes on when you come out. People have very different versions of what "being gay" looks like and for us, having a life that you are proud of and genuinely happy to be living is the only thing that matters. 

On being each other's wingman: Working together has been the biggest blessing for our relationship. Before we were a couple, we were teammates and best friends. That friendship and professional comradery laid the strongest foundation we could have asked for. 

The Air Force is built upon this idea of never leaving your wingman behind. Well, from day one we were wingmen and that notion of teamwork and support has absolutely transferred onto our marriage. Working so closely with your spouse during the formative years of your relationship not only allows you to spend more time together, but it unifies you in a way that is hard to put in words. Personally, we know that the other will always have our back, but there is a great sense of relief knowing that throughout the day, you have someone who is in your corner unconditionally and pushes you to be the best version of yourself! 

And on that note, where some often feel some sort of competition between themselves and their spouse for success, that could not be further from the truth with us. We are one unit; we share success and downfalls – and when one falters, the other is there to quickly pick them up and keep moving in one direction again. There are just as few words for someone who would move heaven and earth to see you become your best self – even as a cost to themselves… it leaves you speechless and feeling genuinely loved! 

We have been blessed to travel together and work side-by-side, and there is nothing more rewarding than getting to do what you love with who you love more than anything. Separation and distance is a huge obstacle military couple’s face, and we have been fortunate throughout our careers to have not been apart too long from one another. But during those moments away for training or individual obligations, we take that time to take a look at the beautiful life we have built and appreciate all that we have – if anything, it is those brief moments apart that makes us a stronger, more resilient couple!

On the joys of a simple date night: For us, date night is all about relaxation. There is nothing better than putting on a movie or one of our favorite shows after eating a delicious home-cooked meal (Alexx is a MASTER in the kitchen). Add some wine, continuous laughter, a loving massage, and we have everything we could ever need! 

On the one thing they love most about each other: First, we have to admit that we are very much still DEEP in the newlywed stage of our marriage and we've vowed to never leave it, so our level of obsession with one another is pretty extreme. 

Chip: I adore so many things about the man that Alexx is and has become, but I love Alexx's passion the most. Alexx is protective and loyal and warm and everything Alexx does, he does out of love for me. It's overwhelming and exhilarating and a once in a lifetime feeling that I will never get used to but never take for granted. He throws himself 100% into every aspect of our life together. Our marriage, his job, our future...I am blown away at how completely immersed this man can be in so many things at once and he does it all with a smile on his face. Before we were married, Alexx told me that he aspires to "do the most good, for the most amount of people," and I am constantly in awe at how he has embodied that expression. He is the epitome of selflessness, unconditional love and unwavering support and the immensity of his love knows no limit. I am TRULY the luckiest man on the planet for tricking him into loving me!

Alexx: And for me, it is Chip’s heart – he has the biggest one, sometimes to a fault. He really does not have a bad bone in his body. We are talking about a man who sees the good in everyone, which translates into the most unique and intense type of love I never imagined was real. He does not do anger or even mild irritation… Chip’s go-to when things get remotely tense is affection – I mean tight, take-your-breath away hugs and kisses. It is this incredible propensity for love that he possess which lets me know how deeply loved I am, and without question that he will be an incredible father to our children (someday).

[a-fluffer-nutter]

I Hear Music

A/N - Hey y’all, it’s fic number who the fuck knows in Ficruary and this fic is dedicated to one of my anons who I am going to call birthday!anon! I hope you had a very happy birthday and enjoy this belated present! It’s the Steve x sister fic and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. As always, I hope everyone reads this and enjoys it. Don’t forget to comment on the fic or send me feedback, I crave it so much! Thanks y’al!

Word Count: 2,307

           Steve Rogers thought he was the only one of his kind, a super soldier frozen in time. He quickly learned he was wrong, encountering his best friend from the past, Bucky Barnes. They had both undergone similar experiences, though they were on opposite sides of the law. These two were not the only ones, however.

           In the 1960s, the world was sitting at the edge of their seats, waiting for World War Three. The wars in Korea and Vietnam were being fought and talk of nuclear warfare was eminent. The UN was terrified of another war, so they did something so drastic, it had to be hidden away for many years to come.

           Y/N, a small orphan found wandering the streets of a big city was taken in by a prominent member of the UN. She was brought to the UN headquarters, in the heart of New York City. The raised her to be a diplomat, to be a soldier, to be the icon the people of the world needed most. She was the War Ender.

           Trained in marital arts and injected with serum similar to that of which was used on Steve Rogers more than twenty years prior, she became the spy, solider, warrior, diplomat, hero the world needed at only fifteen years old. She was strong, but lean, not as well built as Steve was, not to draw any suspicion to her. She was released and completed many missions across the world, spying and executing, before the attack.

           It happened after she had returned from a trip to Geneva, having negotiated with different world leaders over the civil rights campaign occurring in the United States. She was back in New York, finishing her reports in the small office she was given, when the building was under attack. Y/N scrambled to save as many people as she could, fighting off the unidentified attackers which she would learn many years later, were Hydra agents.

           “Y/N!” A familiar voice called after the War Ender had cleared a main office, having saved all the individuals in the room. The girl spun around to see the man who saved her all those years ago, taken her off the streets and had put her in this position. He had a slash over his brow, blood dripping into his eye, forcing him to keep it shut.

           “Father,” Y/N said, startled by his appearance. His business suit was torn, the tie around his neck missing.

           “We need to go, it’s not safe for you here,” the man, Arthur Goldberg, announced quickly, grabbing her hand

           “It’s not safe for me?” Y/N replied, confused. “It’s not safe for you. We need to get you out of here!”

           “No, it’s too late,” Goldberg responded, almost solemn. “We have to get you down to the lab. We need to protect you.”

           “Why?” Y/N asked, reluctantly following Goldberg down a set of stairs recently cleared of enemies.

           “These men. They’re after you.”

           “What?” Y/N stopped, Goldberg nearly stumbling down the stairs as she did so. “Why do they want me?”

           “They know what you can do and they want to stop you from saving the world. They are the bringers of death and I need to prevent you from falling to them. I need to keep you alive, so you can bring life to the future.”

           Y/N remained silent after this, not knowing how to respond. She followed closely behind Goldberg as he guided her to the labs in the underground, an area few knew of, an area so secure there would be no way for the Hydra agents to breach. Y/N had only been here a few times, usually to run tests after being introduced to the serum and her entire molecular chemistry was altered.

           “Here,” The two stopped in front of a giant translucent cylinder, filled to the brim with a strange bubbling liquid. “We need to hook you up and get you in there.”

           “What is that,” Y/N asked, not being to take her eyes away from the mechanism.

           “It’s a hydro-stasis. It’s going to preserve your body and keep you alive. You’ll be asleep, but fully alive until we need you to wake up. Please, do this for me.”

           “Why can’t I just stay here or fight? Why do I have to go in there?” Y/N breathed, tears threatening to form. “I don’t want to leave you.”

           “I know,” Goldberg held her chin, tilting her head up slightly so their eyes met. “I don’t want to leave you either, but I need to protect you. The future needs you, Y/N, and you need to save it. I don’t know when you are going to wake up, whether it’s next week or in the next few years, but the future needs you. Please, Y/N, you’re one of the only hope’s we have left for this world.”

           “Okay,” Her voice was soft, wavering as tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’ll do it.”

           Sirens rang out as they hooked the War Ender up to the device, her vitals flashing on the small screen. She stood on the small ledge, her toes dangling from the metal, inches above the strange liquid. She sat down, her legs swaying in the cold substance, her eyes locked with Goldberg.

           “Go save the world, Y/N,” Tears slipped from behind his thick rimmed glasses.

           “I will, I promise,” Y/N gripped the ledge, fighting the urge to get up and flee. “Thank you for being the best father a girl could ever have. I love you.”

           “I love you too, Y/N.”

           This was the last thing she heard before slipping into the cylinder, becoming fully submerged in the cold liquid. Her vision was blurred as she could see the faded image of Goldberg as he typed in a code on the nearby keyboard. The vault shut above her head, her hands pounding against the glass as Y/N realized she could no longer breath. She fought for her breath before being overcome, the cords in her arm releasing a serum which quickly slipped her into unconsciousness.

           *** Very unsubtle point of view change ***

           “Hey, Y/N! How was school?” Steve Rogers asked as you walked through the door, tossing your backpack against the wall as you trudged past. You merely groaned, choosing to ignore him as you made your way upstairs.

           It had been three years since you were awoken by S.H.I.E.L.D. and placed in the care of Steve Rogers. After learning about you, Steve had taken you in as if you were a long-lost sister, whom he treated you as. At first, you had a hard time being in the care of Steve, wanting to find Goldberg. You were heartbroken when you learned he had passed more than ten years prior to your awakening and you would never see him again.

           You did take a liking to Steve after a while, both of you learning about the new world together. After your awakening, you joined the Avengers as an on and off member, going on a few missions, but not serving for all. You could not go back to work with the U.N. thanks to them deeming you too young and uneducated. First, you had to go through a proper education before you could rejoin their ranks.

           School was the worst thing in the world for you. You were bullied by a few peers, due to your limited knowledge of the modern world. You hated going to school, insisting that you be homeschooled, letting you learn what you wanted to. This idea was rejected by everyone, forcing you to go to public school like others. You were significantly smarter than everyone else, due to your experiences and age, despite being stuck in the body of a teenager.

           “Y/N?” You heard Steve call as you collapsed onto your bed. S.H.I.E.L.D. had allowed you to live in the Avengers Tower, living with Steve on his floor. The other members quickly took a liking to you, all regarding you as family, accepting you as Steve’s new sister.

           “Not today, Steve,” You groaned, staring up at the ceiling as you felt Steve’s presence in the doorway. He, being the big brother he was, ignored you, making his way to your bed. You felt the mattress creak and lower as he sat beside you, his hand running through your hair.

           “Shit day?”

           “Language,” You let out a mock gasp, glancing over at him. Steve cracked a small smile, rolling his eyes.

           “That’s never stopped you,” Steve laughed lightly. “You little sailor.”

           “Swearing makes me happy,” You replied, feeling Steve move his had away. You quickly grabbed it, moving it back to your scalp so he could continue playing with your hair.

           “That’s just a thing Tony taught you to say,” Steve responded, amused by your antics.

           “Damn straight,” You lean into his touch. “Asides, with all the shit we’ve gone through, I feel like the two of us deserve to swear more than anyone else.”

           “I know,” Steve sighed, glancing up at the ceiling. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head, causing a mischievous smile to form. “You know, there is another way to make you happy.”

           “What do you mean?” You glanced up at him, wearing a rather bored expression despite your curiosity. Noticing his wicked expression, you try to sit up, but are stopped.

           “This,” Steve exclaimed as his hand, which he had shaped like a claw, collapsed down onto your belly. You let out a squeal, his hand vibrating over your sensitive belly. Flailing around, you try to escape, though you don’t really want to. You want this, hell, you crave this. You crave the affection, the love, the laughter, the joy that all comes with this and Steve, he knows you do too.

           “Steheheve!” You squeak as his hands explore the rest of your torso. Fingers scribbling along your ribs, counting each and every one of them as they skitter over. Nails skim over your collarbone, an area you had no idea was so sensitive until you met Steve. Light touches in and around your navel, scribbling along the thin inner skin of your cute belly button. Fingers fluttering lightly over your neck, then squeezing along your sides and hips. Thumbs drilling underneath your arms, snorts and high pitched laughter pouring from your lips the entire time. The entire time, you beat your arms against the bed, never once trying to stop his devious assault on your upper body.

           “I hear music,” Another voice sounded from the doorway, causing the tickling to slow, but not stop. Both you and Steve turn to look at the door, you make out Tony Stark’s figure through your tears of mirth. Tony was wearing a white dress shirt, his suit jacket slung lazily over one shoulder. His pants were clean and pressed, his black shoes shining despite the room being dimly lit. “Ah, my favorite kind of music, the laughter of Y/N being tickled to death. Simply poetic, isn’t it Steve?”

           “Tohohony!” You pleaded, laughter hitching as Steve brushed over a particularly sensitive spot along your sternum. You can just make out his signature flashy grin as he steps into the room, tossing the jacket on your chair. “Hehelp mehehe!”

           “Aw, is the tiny super soldier too ticklish for her own good?” Tony teased, looking down at you from the edge of the bed. You reached out for him, which was a grand mistake. Steve too advantage of the opening, striking in exposed under arm. Tony smirked, a glint of evil shining in his eye that only you could see. “Don’t worry, kiddo. This super soldier right here is the same way.”

           “Tohohony!” Steve yelped as Tony’s hands squeezed his sides, pushing him off you. You curl up, forming a small ball as Tony pounces onto Steve. You feel the bed shift as the two men wrestle around for a moment, Tony getting the upper hand after a brief while.  “I’m going to need your strength, Y/N.”

           Sitting up from the bed, you run a hand through your messy hair before giving Tony a determined nod. You crawl across the mattress and flip around enough so your knees are pressing into the palms of Steve’s hands. In this position, you are able to attack his neck as Tony skitters his fingers up and down, from his under arms to his hips. Steve is hysterical, his laughter rivaling yours from earlier. Steve shook his head back and forth, his hair rubbing against the pale sheets.

           “Isn’t he just the cutest?” Tony teased before blowing a raspberry into Steve’s neck, the super solider completely losing his composure.

           “Damn straight,” You laugh, enjoying the sound of Steve’s laughter. “Little Stevie can’t stand some tickling, can he?”

           “I can see why he was getting you earlier,” Tony remarked, shooting you a wide grin. The two of you continue to tickle Steve for the next few minutes, both teasing as much as possible. “We need to stop soon. Even Steve here needs to breathe.”

           “You know, he’s going to get us back the moment we stop, right?” You replied, hesitant to stop in fear of a counter attack.

           “On the count of three, we stop and make for the elevator, okay?” Tony scanned your face, looking for approval.

           “Okay, sounds like a plan.”

           “Good,” Tony took a deep breath. “Three…two…one…run!”

           The two of you bolted to the elevator, stumbling into the open door. You frantically jab the down button as Tony is begging F.R.I.D.A.Y. to shut the door faster. Both of you heard Steve’s footsteps growing closer. The man jumped through the door as it began to close, cornering both of you in the back of the elevator.

           “You two are so dead.”

           Steve pounced and the sound of yours and Tony’s laughter filled the elevator all the way down to the ground floor.

[lostdisclosure]

Beautiful Stranger

Throughout life, we encounter many different people, for many different reasons. Since childhood, we have met teachers to help develop our minds, friends to mold our hearts, and strangers to broaden our existence. The interactions between one another usually only grows fonder once a relationship is developed, and mutual trust is instilled between one another over time. Most of those people that we choose to surround ourselves with become a source of happiness, while filling us with a sense of security. They are the ones that know us best and provide us with support and reason.

Some of those people we connect with most, become more valuable to our growth and general well being. We spend an extensive amount of time with them, due to the joy brought by their company, and the comfort of knowing that being in each other’s presence is mutually appreciated. These people don’t come around so often throughout our lives, so we hold them dear and call each other best friends, the love of our lives, or even family. We know we can count on them through thick and thin, and that we can share our most intimate and personal details about ourselves, without the fear of being judged. These types of relationships don’t happen over night, for it is nearly impossible to meet people who can fully understand us, and that we can wholeheartedly trust. I, myself, have had many people walk in and out of my life, after having thought an unbreakable bond was created between one another. As I’ve grown older, those people who once meant the world to me, have simply become distant memories. As horrible as that may come across, not a single one of those people have instilled a single negative memory in my heart, but instead a positive purpose for my growth. As I have grown wiser, I believe my interactions with others should, and will hold a meaningful purpose; The purpose of returning all the joy once given to me by many.

Initial interactions with others will always differ from person to person, but most of my occurrences with strangers tend to become quite limited. I always have the intention to find a commonality between one another, in hopes to provide a sense of comfort while making a positive impression, but both time and intimidation tend to alter my efforts. At this point, I have come to accept the reality of meeting new people and the rarity of having the chance to make a quality connection. It’s not that I don’t want to meet new people, but due to my lack of general interaction with unfamiliar faces, I have stunted my ability of making new valuable connections. I know we will forever be surrounded by strangers, but until I find those who find comfort in my presence, acquaintances is all they will ever become.

With that said, something unbelievable has recently happened. Something that has challenged my beliefs of initial interactions and the possible connectivity that I could ever achieve with another human being in such a short time. The possible connection, comfort, and trust that 2 individuals usually create over years of interaction, was experienced within 24 hours of being in an acquaintance’s presence. I am not writing this to compare connections with individuals within our lives, but to express my gratitude for the chance to get to know someone, someone so incredible. I’m writing this from me, to her. I believe everything happens for a reason, and this story embodies that very belief.

A few weeks ago, I attended a good friend’s farewell dinner, which I luckily was able to attend due to travel plans falling through. As I approached the table, I introduced myself to everyone as a general common courtesy to my friend’s friends. I ended up sitting in between my brother and someone I’ve never met before. An unfamiliar face, simply a stranger. As dinner progressed, conversations of art and interests came about and this stranger became an intriguing acquaintance. Long story short, I showed interest in an event she mentioned and initiated a form of contact between one another. She extended the event invite and I then found myself making plans to go to Sacramento. Sounded simple enough, only problem was, I was definitely out of my comfort zone. Before I knew it, weeks passed and I was on my way to meet her.

Scared. That was the first emotion that ran through my mind when I began my drive to meet up with her. Our communication was minimal throughout the time between meeting and planning for the trip, so our compatibility with one another was a bit worrisome to me. Many things were running through my mind; mostly elements that pointed towards not going at all. Bad weather, car problems, work, and my school schedule all came to mind. Fuck it, I thought to myself. She did her best to accommodate for my attempts of going, so I can’t let her down. I took an extra day off and I met up with her, got in her car, and off we went.

Clammy. My hands were slightly sweating out of nervousness, for I had no idea how this adventure would play out. As we were on the road, we conversed in hopes to get more familiarized with each other and before I knew it, we found many common experiences and personal traits we both shared. My nervousness quickly turned into eagerness towards getting to know more and more about my new acquaintance. As personal stories began to compile one right after another, I sensed an energy between us that I usually feel when catching up with old friends that I haven’t spoken to in ages. The most intriguing part to me wasn’t that she was instantly sociable, but the joy she embodied while sharing her life, reminded me of myself. We had been constantly talking throughout this drive, I then noticed that not once did we turn the radio on during the entire duration. We even had dinner, which was awesome, and then headed to her place. As dreadful as that drive could have been, seeing that we blindly agreed to be in each other’s company for an unusually long time, it ended up being quite pleasurable. We reached her place and we both got settled in and attempted to hang out and watch tv. As interesting as the shows we briefly watched were, I found myself wanting to initiate more conversations with her. We attempted to achieve that norm of being couch potatoes together, but exhaustion got the best of us, and decided to call it a night. As I laid in bed, I couldn’t help but acknowledge the feeling of comfort I felt while in her presence. As enjoyable as those few hours ended up being, I knew there was a full day ahead of us, so to that night, I said goodnight.

The morning arrived and slight confusion came about. We set a schedule to wake up together, but that time passed by. I wasn’t sure if she was up, so I laid in bed falling in and out of sleep. I had this expectation of her busting into the room and demanding me to get out of bed, but that never came. So I decided to wake up and wait for her, but to my surprise, she was already up and ready to go. I quickly got ready and we were off to begin our day together. I had no expectations for the day, for I put the fate of our day in her hands. She decided to take us to lunch at this popular burger joint with an iconic specialty of melted cheese. We parked the car a few blocks away from the place and she confidently insisted we would walk the distance to the restaurant. I had no problem with that, yet it surprised me that neither did she. Most women I meet would refrain from having to walk any distance whatsoever, let alone doing so in pouring rain. We started our trek on foot, with no umbrellas, disregarding the current weather conditions, and that alone put a smile on my face.

After eating, we decided to journey through the rain to some coffee shop in the area to allow her to take part in a company meeting over the phone. The only problem was, we had an hour before the allotted time she was suppose to begin the meeting, so we had a lot of time to kill. As we continued to walk down the sidewalks of midtown Sacramento, we realized we were aimlessly walking around with no destination in sight. We admitted that we were simply following each other’s footsteps, as we got lost in conversation. Rain constantly fell from the sky, hitting every inch of our surroundings and ourselves, except for a cup she held in her hand. Soaking wet herself, she couldn’t understand why the cup couldn’t collect the same amount of rain that her jacket did. Laughs were shared and puddles were stepped on, as she froze her hands trying to catch enough rain to fill that cup. We found our way back to the car and drove towards a coffee shop. Driving also luckily gave her a chance to get out of her drenched jacket. As we walked towards the shop, I noticed her new jacket didn’t have a hood, so I gave her my hat to cover her exposed head and her already soaked hair. She was also unable to warm up her frozen hands, due to already being on the phone for her meeting. So in that moment of concern, I grabbed her ice cold hand and placed them between mine. The last thing I wanted was for her to experience the negative side effects of walking in the rain, or worse, get sick. In that moment I had no intentions other than looking out for her well being, but when I looked at her, I found myself feeling a sense of appreciation and a calm that doesn’t happen quite often.

I was sure that, by then, we have established a mutual connection with one another. Not necessarily one in a romantic sense, but definitely one that complements the energy we shared together. As we sat next to each other in that coffee shop in complete silence, we had minimal interactions like making occasional eye contact, followed by smirks of acknowledgement. To most, that’s a normal occurrence that hold little to no value. To me, those little moments are what hold the most meaning. Instilled in my mind are details of that very moment when we nonverbally communicate and feel something real. I remember sitting in front of the window, watching rain cascade down the glass, while admiring her work ethic through the slight reflection of us through the window. I then took a moment from working on my laptop to turn and take a peek at her concentration. As I looked over at her, one hand was holding her phone to her ear, intensely listening, while the other hand was running her fingers through her soaking wet hair. I simply thought to myself, Yes she definitely plays with her hair a lot and oddly I find her wet hair to be quite attractive, but that’s besides the point. Lol As quick as that observation came to mind, she turned her head towards me, made eye contact, and we both gave each other a little smile. During that short moment of unfiltered interaction, she was able to give me a sense of fulfillment and give me confidence that we were truly meant to meet in this lifetime.

As the day progressed, we shared our love for art, food, adventure, and the emotional connection with people we surround ourselves with. By mid day, I thought we had experienced the maximum extent of comfortability two strangers could experience in such a short time frame. If our journey together ended there, I would have been completely satisfied with what we accomplished together. Little did I know that what was ahead of us would end up being the most incredible connection I will have ever experienced in my life. She took us to an amazing social mixer at the art museum, which embodied the love for jazz music and the festivities surrounding Mardi Gras. This was overall, filled with an energy unattainable and quite incomparable to anything I’ve experienced back at home. Everyone was so lively and filled with excitement while enjoying the love for art and music in each other’s company. As the night grew later, we decided to leave and grab a bite to eat, then head home due to us having to wake up early the next morning to head back to the bay for work. I figured by that time, we would be exhausted of each other’s company and the excitement would begin to dwindle. Once again, my thoughts were proven wrong, for we found an endless supply of topics that kept each other on our toes.

After dinner, we began our last leg of our adventure together and headed back to her place. We have accompanied each other for a full 24 hours at this point, and I was in awe of how amazing our time together has been. I have never experienced such an undeniable connection with another individual, as I have with this stranger that took a chance with trusting me and my character. One last topic came to play on our ride back home, and this is what fortified, what I believe is, a real connection between us. What we experienced within that next couple hours rarely happens between people, unless they have established a long lasting relationship and trust between one another. I mean I’m not sure if that was a normal occurrence for her, but the things shared were extremely personal and emotional, and I know that takes real courage for someone to expose certain parts of their lives to others. The emotional impact she had on me was unmeasurable and at some points, was uncontrollable. We then found ourselves in such a raw state, experiencing an array of intense emotions towards each other, while enclosed in her 4 doors sedan. I felt the frustration and anger she felt towards me, but I couldn’t allow that to stand in the way of my expression towards her and her wellbeing. It might of not ended in the best way possible, because it definitely produced a completely different nonverbal communication cue than our previous ones throughout the day.

We arrived and she parked. Gripping her steering wheel, exposing her bloodless knuckles, she said nothing to me, and I felt horrible. We walked into the house and were both greeted by her parents. They were very welcoming and I instantly understood where the comfort I felt with her derived from. Their family definitely shares great values and morals that embodies the love for everyone and anything they encounter. As much as I would of loved getting to know them better, I felt my presence had finally become unwanted and I braced myself for an awkward morning commute. As I got ready to lay down and end the day, there was a knock on the door to the bedroom I was in. I turned on the lights, opened the door, and to my surprise, it was her. She asked what I was doing and I told her that I had gotten the impression that I offended her and wanted nothing to do with me anymore. As she stood there, she slightly shook her head with disagreement, So I asked her if she wanted to come in. Instantly, she walked in and I gave out a small sigh of relief. The last thing I wanted was for something as incredible as what we experienced together, to end on a bad note. As we sat there talking, I had no other intention than to show my gratitude towards her. I had grown to understand and respect her as an individual, and would have deeply regretted it if I didn’t express every emotion and thought I had of her, to her. Before I knew it, we had stayed up an extra 4 hours with each other and we had strengthened the depth of the relationship we had built in 24 hours. I can’t get over how amazingly beautiful her mind, heart, and soul is, and the importance of her existence is to me. She had become such an inspiration to me and I tried my best to convey that to her. I truly believe she is destined for greatness and I want to be there to experience that with her. This experience and connection is something people can only ask for, yet rarely encounter. The layers we exposed to each other, were more than I could ever expect from another human being, and I hope she feels the same way towards me. I’m not quite sure how she interpreted our time together, but hopefully in time, that will become apparent. If this was a one time occurrence between two strangers, I would still consider myself to be so lucky. I hope that isn’t the case, for I can’t wait for the chance to be in her presence again. I hope that feeling is mutual, I really do. Until then, I can only express my gratitude towards her for being unlike any one I’ve ever met and for being real. Thank you for finding comfort in me, instilling trust and joy between us, and for all the memories we created. So this goes out to you; for you are…

the most beautiful stranger.