#we have NEVER interacted more than 5 minutes total per shift and never outside of work

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

Incredibly funny of my boss (who I barely know outside of work) to call me (sick and in significant pain) to spend 10+ minutes complaining about two of my coworkers.

[s13e06]

The Black Lake

Draco Malfoy / Female Reader

Harry Potter AU

Warnings: some swearing and allusions to heavy depression

Words: 5.2K 

-

The sound of chattering in the halls accompanied by the clatter of hundreds of footsteps as you made your way out of potions class was the only reminder that you were still in any form of reality. You had just gone through a rather insufferable ordeal at the hands of Snape. It went without saying that he didn’t like you considering he was less than friendly with those he did.

It was your fault in all reality, you supposed. Accidentally putting rat spleens instead of bat spleens into your cauldron, causing your potion to go totally sideways. It was an honest mistake considering how tired you had been all day, having difficulty focusing on Snape’s words as he droned on. However, there were no simple mishaps in his eyes. Snape immediately came down on you for being so utterly incompetent and foolish. He even took the liberty of subtracting 5 points from your house, causing your housemates to all glare at you with disdain.

It was absolutely humiliating and given your tendency to be overly self-critical you couldn’t help the fact that your mind began to drift to slightly darker thoughts. Wondering why you even insisted on moving forward when every day you just proved yourself to be a failure. Everyone could see it… and so could you.

You weren’t particularly picked on or excluded by anyone. It was more so that in the eyes of other’s you felt like you barely did more than exist. You don’t think anyone hated you per se. You had some friends and were known to get people laughing at times with your quick-witted humor. But, in spite of it all, you couldn’t help but feel utterly worthless. Maybe they were all pretending to laugh at your jokes. Maybe your friends were just stuck with you.

You hated the way you always went into this mindset of self-doubt but… you just couldn’t help it.

As you let your feet take you further and further through the castle (not really caring where you were going, just wanting to walk as your mind rattled) you suddenly found yourself outside. Stopping, you took a quick look around wondering where you should head to next.

Then to your right, you spotted the Black Lake, vast and still. There was always something slightly eerie about the large mass of water if you happened to stare at it for too long. But at the same time, the mysterious shimmering surface was almost inviting.

Without really thinking too much of it you made your way to the lake, hoping to find a nice quiet place to sit for a while and simply allow yourself to exist.

You sauntered through the grass slowly, relishing in the way your feet slowly sunk into the thick grass with each step. You were so transfixed on watching your own feet that by the time you looked up again you saw that there was somebody else sat by the lake.

At first, you were a little unsure of who it could be considering that their back was to you as they peered out onto the lake in a deep concentration. But then you took notice of the strikingly platinum hair atop their head and the green lining of their robe.

It was Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Of course, it had to be him of all people. You thought to yourself with a little flicker of frustration beginning to flare in you.

Draco had never been particularly rude to you, never teased or bullied you. No, nothing of that sort. In fact, you don’t think a single word had ever been exchanged between the two of you. But he definitely was someone you were indifferent about and you most certainly didn’t appreciate the way he spoke to others. You found him down right vile.

Deciding that it was best just to leave before he noticed you, you took a step back to turn around. But just as you did so your foot made a kind of squelching sound as it sunk into the wet ground. You froze at the noise and just as you feared, Draco turned around to look at you.

For a moment the only sound that could be heard was that of the breeze rushing by. You were just standing there, not sure what to say, or if you should even say anything at all. You thought that maybe it would be better to just leave like you planned and ignore his stare. But then you noticed something odd. As you studied Draco’s face you noticed that something was slightly off about it. Instead of his usual snarky smirk or venomous glare, he wore a kind of sad and pitiful expression. As if he was simply observing you silently, only because he had no energy to speak.

By this point it had been nearly half a minute before Draco just turned back around and continued to stare out at the lake, completely ignoring you. But as you stood there, staring at the back of his head, you realized what it was that you saw in his eyes a moment ago. It was loneliness.

Against your better judgment, you began to make your way over to where he sat and after a moment of hesitation, you plopped down onto the grass next to him.

Draco turned to you then as he noticed you sitting next to him, a look of shock and confusion washing over his face.

“I know that we aren’t friends and we haven’t really spoken before… but I just noticed that you seemed a little…” you trailed off, looking into his eyes for any trace of anger considering your sudden intrusion. However, he simply looked at you with a blank expression, waiting for you to continue. “A little sad…” you finished in a whisper.

At your words, he moved his eyes back ahead as a scoff left his lips. It seemed as though he was preparing to say something snarky and for some reason, you didn’t want him to totally cut you off yet.

“I know that you’re probably upset with me for just barging over here uninvited… and I know you probably don’t like me making assumptions about your mood. But, it’s just that, I know that even people with a reputation such as yourself have things to deal with.” You started, anxiously awaiting the moment he would interrupt you with an insult and tell you to mind your own business. But he didn’t say anything at all. He simply kept his eyes on the water s you continued to speak. “I don’t know what it is you’re thinking about that has you looking so sad… but I suppose I just wanted to tell you that whatever it is, it’s ok. You’ll be ok and if you ever wanted to maybe talk about it… well, I’m quite good at keeping secrets.” You offered to him with a small smile.

Draco seemed completely taken aback by your words as he watched you with his mouth slightly opened, maybe searching for what to say. An anxious feeling started to overwhelm you as his discomfort was becoming quite clear. You frowned at him a little as you noticed a slight pink shade was setting on his face. Worried that he was becoming angry with you, you quickly spoke up. “S-sorry if that was rude of me to say! I uhhh… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Promise!” You said to him with a nervous tone.

In the flash of an eye, he was on his feet. He looked down at you as a slight frown set across his face, cheeks still flushed. “It was a little rude of you,” he said as he quickly turned around and walked away. Leaving you there totally stunned, wondering if you’d just unintentionally made him despise you.

Twisting your head back to face forward you let out a sigh as you eyed the lake before you. You couldn’t help but question his uncharacteristic actions. Wondering just what it all had meant.

-

Turns out that what it had meant was nothing but trouble.

Following your encounter at the lake, Draco no longer withheld from any interaction with you. As a matter of fact, he had started to pay you a lot of attention. Except that it was far from positive.

For example, whenever you happened to pass him in the halls he would send a nasty glare your way and make some kind of snide remark about you. They were usually along the lines of “What a pity some women don’t even bother to take care of themselves anymore” or “Hey, Y/L/N been sticking your nose in anyone else’s business lately?” and of course your favorite, “Watch where you’re going, Y/L/N” which he would say after purposely knocking his shoulder into yours, usually causing you to stumble a bit.

Although his insults where terrible and completely unwarranted, you never let him have the last laugh. Each stupid little insult he threw at you was counteracted with one of your own. Often they were replies like “Fuck off you wanker” or “Shut your bloody mouth, you spoiled little git”.

The first time he had insulted you he seemed completely thrown off by your instant rebuttal. Perhaps he had expected you to simply bow your head down and walk off in shame. But you didn’t and for some reason, he seemed pleased by this. Always walking away from you with a sadistic little smirk, which coincidentally you did as well.

You had a feeling that to him this was all some sort of little game. He seemed to be getting off on the way you snapped back at him with irritation. You should probably hate him for it, be mad at least, and curse his name to the sky or something. But instead, you found yourself rather amused by this little back and forth thing he had started.

Not to mention the peculiar way you had caught him staring at you lately. You hadn’t quite noticed it at first but when you did you couldn’t help but wonder when it had started. Every time you’d catch him staring he’d quickly look the other way as nonchalantly as possible. Once you could have even sworn you saw a tinge of red on his ears and cheeks, but you quickly wrote it off. He was probably just studying you to formulate his next insult to throw at you in the hall.

This sort of odd relationship between the two of you lasted for some weeks before one day it shifted into a slightly different one.

-

You were sitting alone in the library staring down at a piece of parchment, quill in hand, and not one word written. You were meant to be writing out a paper for your Herbology class about the various uses of a certain plant of your choosing. But as you stared down at the blank page, absolutely no inspiration or motivation came.

Just as you sighed for probably the fifteenth time since coming to the library you heard a cough come from beside you. You looked up to see Draco standing there. He looked from you to your blank parchment and then back to you. You felt a rush of embarrassment wash over you as a smirk spread across his devious little face.

“Having a little trouble are you?” he asked smugly.

“Well, not that it’s any of your concern, Malfoy, but actually yes, I am,” you said, surprising yourself at your own honesty.

Without saying another word, you watched Draco pull out the chair beside you and sit down, looking to you expectantly. “Alright then, what do require assistance with?” He asked you with a smirk.

You were completely baffled by this. This had to be some kind of trick. There was no way Draco Malfoy had suddenly found it in his heart to start tutoring fellow students in his free time.

You eyed him questioningly as you chose your next words carefully. “It’s just a Herbology paper. I still have a few days before it’s due but I’m having a little difficulty with which plant to write about…” you finished while giving Draco a skeptical glare. He had to be up to something.

“What about it has got you so indecisive?” he asked you with a little laugh.

You don’t think you’d ever heard him laugh before. Well, not like that away. Usually, he would scoff and let out a rude laugh laced with mockery. But this one was seemingly genuine and almost… dare you say… cute?

“I’m not sure really,” you said honestly. “Maybe I just don’t want to choose the wrong plant to write about… what if my paper isn’t good enough? I know it’s a silly thing to worry about but Herbology isn’t my best subject and I can’t afford another low mark,” you admitted to him with a pitiful sigh.

He smiled a little at your words. “That is pretty silly.”

You glared at him a little before breaking out into a laugh.

“Well, Malfoy, did you come here to gloat or do you need something?” You asked easing a smile onto your face, letting him know you weren’t upset.

“I came over to see what could possibly have you sighing so much. It’s not a crime to be curious is it?” He asked a little sardonically.

You felt yourself relax at his teasing, sensing the Draco you were used to interacting with.

“I suppose it’s not a crime,” you said to him while dramatically waving your hand at him in defeat.

“I could help you, you know,” he told you with sly eyes. Oh, he was up to something. “I’m doing quite decently in Herbology myself, could probably give you some helpful pointers.” He offered you with a grin.

“How could I refuse such a noble offer,” you said to him sarcastically.

“But of course… it will come at a price” he told you with a glint in his eye.

Of course, it would.

“Alright then, name your price,” you said to him with a little laugh, not taking his offer quite seriously.

“I’ll let you know when I think of it. But until then… I suppose you’ll be indebted to me” he smirked while offering you a hand.

You glanced down at it, wondering if you should agree to something so ridiculous sounding. For all, you knew he could ask you to be his personal errand runner for a month as payment. Knowing his evil ways, you were sure he wouldn’t simply forget about it.

Despite the voices in your head screaming at you to decline his offer, your hand came out as well to grasp his own. Shaking it firmly and without much more thought you looked him in the eye, smiled, and said “deal”.

-

You had met Draco in the library the following two nights before your paper was due and to your surprise, he really did help you. He was actually quite smart, which didn’t shock you necessarily. But it was interesting to see this sort of hidden intellectual side to him. The banter between you two as you worked was much more lighthearted than you expected it to be and when you had handed your paper into Professor Sprout you found that you were a little sad it was over.

In a strange twist of fate, you had found yourself quite enjoying Draco’s company. He wasn’t so unpleasant when he wasn’t trying to impress anyone. After all, you weren’t anyone worth impressing. You figured this was all just something to occupy some of his free time, he was most likely bored and figured he could get you to owe him.

And yet, although your paper was finished and turned in, you still found yourself in the library at the usual meeting time. Not that you were expecting him to show or anything. There was no harm in simply doing some light reading was there?

After sitting in the library for about ten minutes, you notice a certain platinum-haired boy walk in. You looked back to your book and tried to act as casual as possible. Quickly realizing that it would actually be quite embarrassing to admit to him or even yourself that you had hoped he would show.

You didn’t dare move your eyes from the pages of your book until you heard the chair across from you move. Risking a peak you slowly drifted your eyes up to the person across from you.

It was Draco. He didn’t say anything. Just sat there and watched you with a lazy look, his elbow propped onto the table allowing his head to rest in his hand.

Deciding to indulge yourself in a little conversation you raised your head up and smiled.

“Fancy seeing you here… Run out of things to do I take it?” you asked teasingly.

You saw a faint blush raise onto his cheeks as he processed your snarky remark.

“That’s hardly the case” he replied defensively.

“Oh, then what exactly are you doing here?” you urged, enjoying the way his arms had folded across his chest like a child who was trying to stand his ground.

“That’s none of your business” he spoke quickly.

“Well, you’re sitting right across from me of all places so I think I’m well within my rights to question your motives,” you told him as you folded your arms as well, hoping he’d take notice of your mimicking.

“No motives. I just thought I’d come to the library. I am a student after all… and I just so happened to sit in this chair. I wasn’t aware you had sovereignty over them.” He told you with a huff.

“If you say so” you responded with a grin as you brought your face back down to your book. Relishing in the way you saw his face shift into slight disbelief at your choice to ignore him now.

You found it adorable actually. The way he stammered to find excuses for his odd behavior. You still weren’t sure exactly what he was getting out of all this, or why he was here in front of you now. You couldn’t even fathom the thought that he might just want to spend time with you. That assumption alone made little to no sense in your mind.

It was silent for a while as you continued to read your book, trying your hardest not to spare a glance at Draco who surprisingly, was still sat across from you.

A small cough broke through the silence. You peered up and met the gaze of two piercing silver eyes. Draco had been the one to cough and by the way he was fidgeting with his sleeve, you wondered if it was on purpose.

You raided your eyebrow to him in questioning, daring him to finally, speak.

“Have you got trouble with any other classes? I could probably be of some more help if you required it,” he told you in a smooth and sure voice. The sound of it directly contradicted the way his eyes shot from you to random areas in the room as he awaited your answer.

You tried to hide the expression of amusement on your face as you decided on how to reply. He was actually offering you help now? The situation was almost laughable. The Draco Malfoy was sat across from you, trying to act cool while he offered his help, and you could not figure out why on earth he would do such a thing.

“Well, now that you mention it… I’m not doing all that good in Potions at the moment” you confessed to him with a sheepish grin.

His eyes instantly lit up at your words, suddenly seeming quite excited about something.

“You’re in luck then, Y/L/N. I just so happen to be excellent in Potions” he said while puffing out his chest in confidence.

You smiled at his little show of pride, noticing the way his face shifted into a warm toothy smile.

“I suppose I am quite lucky then” you replied.

Draco instantly started telling you about all his recent triumphs in potions and how even Snape had praised his efforts. You could tell this was something he was actually quite proud of.

You listened to him talk for a bit, adding in a little commentary of your own along the way, and as the conversation grew more natural you basked in the way he smiled at you while he spoke. A strange tight feeling grew in your chest and before you knew it you could feel those rose-colored glasses falling into place. Finding it a little bit exciting how your heartbeat became more and more rapid as you shared each other’s company.

-

From that point on you and Draco would meet up several times a week in the library to “study”.  The reason you couldn’t quite classify it as studying was that although you did do schoolwork, a lot of the time was spent just having a casual conversation. He told you about classes, how they were going and what he thought of the subjects being taught. He told you about the people who annoyed him, why he thought they were inadequate and what they should do to improve themselves. You always gave him a glare and a little kick under the table whenever he would begin to speak too rudely about others, reminding him that everyone has their own issues to deal with and he shouldn’t be so cruel. He never really challenged you further on this.

But most of all his favorite thing to discuss was Quidditch. He loved to go on and on about his many victories and challenges. Always making sure to paint himself in a good light as he recalled the events to you.

It wasn’t all one-sided of course. In turn, you told him about your family, some of your interests, your favorite classes, and even some embarrassing things that had happened to you before.

He listened intently each time that you spoke.

As the weeks went by it was becoming more and more clear to you had developed some pretty intense feelings for Draco. By this point, you felt comfortable calling yourself his friend. But you wanted more.

But how could you possibly expect anything to happen when you weren’t even sure he considered you a friend as well. You didn’t even dare to let yourself think for one second that he could ever be interested in you. Not the way that you were with him anyway.

By the time you realized the relationship between the two of you would never be anything more than a ridiculous one-sided love, you felt yourself begin to sink.

You couldn’t help it, not really. All the voices in your head reminding you of your place. Constantly keeping you in check. Never letting you fantasize about such ridiculous things as love.

The time you spent with Draco in the library had once filled you with excitement and butterflies. Always stealing secret looks at him when you were meant to be taking notes, memorizing the sound of his laugh, and wondering what it would be like to hold his hand just once.

Now each moment you spent with him was almost agonizing. You felt sick and anxious. Constantly aware that the feelings you had for him were unrequited. Each time he smiled at you it was a stab of sadness that hit you instead of pang of happiness. It was starting to become unbearable. Being around him was like torturing yourself. A constant reminder of what you would never be good enough for. It hurt so badly and you simply could not handle it anymore.

So… you did the one thing you were best at. You started to distance yourself. You showed up to the library less and when he would question you in the hallway about it you’d simply say you were busy and brush him off. Unable to look at him for too long. Feeling suffocated under his gaze.

Eventually, you stopped going to the library all together… and pretty soon he stopped confronting you in the hallways. For some reason that hurt even more. The fact that he had just stopped caring. You knew that you had done it to yourself. But it still hurt… this kind of sick self-punishment.

Once you no longer had the library as your safe space you began to simply wander the halls. You thought that maybe if you kept on walking reality would never be able to catch up to you.

This particular day however you found yourself walking to that oh so familiar Black Lake. You weren’t sure why your feet had taken you there. But as you sat down and stared out at nothing in particular, you felt an odd sense of calm that hadn’t washed over you in a long time.

Not long after you had been sat there you heard the sound of someone stepping behind you. They weren’t too close to you though and in hopes that they would just leave, you kept your eyes forward.

But they didn’t leave. In fact, they were coming closer to you. Becoming a little anxious at the thought of some random person invading your space, you began to twiddle your thumbs.

Then before you knew it there was someone sat next to you, you could see them just barely out of the corner of your eye. It was a boy. But quickly you realized that this was no stranger. A sick guilty feeling settled into your stomach as you waited for him to speak.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He asked in a whisper.

You still didn’t dare to look at him.

“I h-haven’t been,” you said, cursing yourself mentally at the way your voice broke.

“That’s a lie and we both know it,” he said letting out a frustrated sigh. “Did I do something to make you upset?” He asked and although you weren’t facing him you could tell that his face was twisted into a confused frown.

“No, of course not. Nothing like that” you told him quickly, guilt racking your body as you processed his words.

“Then what happened?” he asked while staring at the side of your face.

Knowing that you couldn’t stay silent forever, you slowly turned to face him. Emotions began to overwhelm you as you took in his appearance.

He had dark bags under his eyes that stuck out boldly in contrast to his fair skin. His hair was uncharacteristically disheveled and his eyebrows were bunched in confusion as he looked at you with a hurt in his eyes.

Was this your fault? Had he been worrying about what happened between you two? The last thing you had wanted was to be a burden on his life. You never wanted to be the reason he was frowning. Why had it bothered him so much? Why was he so distraught over someone like you?

That’s when you felt it. A single tear had made its way down your face as your throat constricted painfully. All the hurt you had caused yourself and apparently, Draco as well came barging into your mind and you felt so utterly helpless.

You cried right there in front of him.

You must have been quite the pitiful sight because through your blurry vision you watched his face fall into complete shock.

“Y/N, why are you crying? W-what’s wrong?” he asked you as one of his hands came out to shakily rest on your own in an effort to comfort you.

“I don’t w-want to t-tell you” you sobbed, feeling like a pathetic child.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he told you softly, hand still grasping yours. “Just please stop crying.”

You felt him squeeze your hand in reassurance and your heart started to pound harder than ever before. So many emotions were coursing through you as you began to stop crying. You could see him clearer now. The way he was looking into your eyes with nothing but concern. Your head was swimming and without thinking at all you said it.

“I love you”

For a moment neither of you said a word. You just stared at each other in complete shock, his hand still in your own.

Regret and fear started to flood your senses as you realized what you’d just done.

“I-I’m so sorry forget I said anything. I’m sorry” you panicked while pulling your hand away from his, preparing to flee.

But before you could move another inch you felt yourself being pulled forward rather quickly. You were completely dazed as without saying a single word, Draco crashed his lips into yours.

You kept your eyes open at first in complete shock but you slowly closed them too while your palms began to sweat and heart pounded against your chest. You kissed him back feverishly as his hands made their way to rest on your sides, your skin tingling where he touched.

You slowly brought your arms to drape around his neck, pulling him even closer, as if that was possible. You felt his tongue glide across your closed lips, silently asking for entry. You immediately obliged, letting out a little gasp as your tongues began to intertwine.

The only sound you could hear was your own labored breathing and the only thing you could focus on was the way he kissed you as if he had been dying to do it.

Of course, you could only go at each other for so long before someone pulled away, that person being you.

As you opened your eyes again to look at him you were blown away by his appearance. His eyes were clouded with something unfamiliar to you, his cheeks were a burning shade of pink that spread to the tips of his ears, and his lips were slightly parted as he breathed heavily. You wondered if your face mirrored his own at that moment.

Unable to stop your mind from freaking out over what had just happened you began to stammer.

“W-what exactly does that mean?” you asked stupidly.

Draco looked at you in disbelief as he let out a laugh.

“You know… you’re actually quite daft aren’t you?” he asked while reaching for your sweaty hand. He didn’t seem to mind though, as he stroked your thumb with his.

You looked down, watching the action before looking back up to him with an unsure face.

He only sighed before smiling bigger than you’d ever seen before and said something you never thought you’d hear.

“I love you too”

Before you could say anything else he was leaning back towards you, connecting your lips, and colliding your bodies together once more.

As you relish in the feeling of having him there against you, the boy you loved, the one who just told you that he loves you too, you couldn’t help but laugh a little against his lips.

You were here with him now at the same lake that you’d first spoken to him. Finding him that day in one of your darkest times, noticing that it was a similar situation for him. Now he was the one finding you. It really was a mysterious lake after all and you couldn’t be more thankful that it had been so inviting.

---

Author’s Note: Wow so I worked on whatever the hell this is for a few days. It’s kind of a mess but I hope you guys like it??? Idk I just got this overwhelming urge to write out something kinda cute like this. Also, I'm sorry it’s so long, I don’t know how that happened???