#we love mailmen and women in this house

[sicc-nasti]

MEET YOUR COURIERS

BLU Courier - Brady Administration Courier - Brandie RED Courier - Brodie

Delivering yesterday's mail - today! TFI Gaurentee*

[pennyserenade]

tags: nameless female oc x javier peña, nameless female oc x javier pena rating: t ( teen )  warnings: language, a smidge of angst  word count: 1.5k+ summary: a scenario in which javier finds peace at home notes: this is apart of the scenes universe, but just not in the main timeline. it’s set after the events in colombia, taking place at about the same time season 3, episode one does. this was created because i needed to see javier happy -- isn’t that wild ? gif by: @pascalsky​

A PEACE OF MIND AND A SLICE OF HOME 

The boy’s hair is light, so blonde it’s nearly white, and Javi’s in the middle of being teased about it for the umpteenth time. He grins, looking at the boy on his lap, telling his family to kindly--in the most kid appropriate way--fuck off. They ask about the mailmen in Colombia in between fits of laughter, or whether that partner of his had the same shade of hair—anything to get Javi going.

“Yeah, he did,” Javi replies, looking back at them, “But he didn’t have that nose,” he nods towards the kid. “That’s my nose.”

“Javi, don’t let them get you going—that kid has more than just your nose,” his tía says, inserting herself in the conversation. She’d been skirting closer and closer all night, but she’d been too focused on hosting to fully make her way over. It seems she’s freed herself now. “That wife of yours pushed out another little Javi.”

She puts her hands outwards and the boy reaches up, anticipating being picked up. Javi grins, letting him go. He had been worried about the way the boy would respond to the family at first, being that he’d not really had anyone in Colombia besides Steve and the two of them, but he enjoys the attention. Everyone is more than happy to give it to him, too.

“Will you watch him while I go find her?” Javi nods towards the house, “I think someone in there must be holding her up in conversation, and I think its Dad. It always is.”

She nods her head. “Go on.”

Javi kisses her cheek before making a beeline to the door. Surprisingly, no one tries to stop him and ask questions, but then again, he’s tried to walk quick enough so they’d know not to.

The house is relatively empty, with a few people scattered in the kitchen and a couple of women sitting at the couch. Javi checks multiple rooms, quiet in case there happens to be any sleeping children in any of them. Just as he thought, he finds his father and his wife in a room talking with their backs to the door. He doesn’t make a sudden intrusion. In fact, he doesn’t make one at all, lingering behind the threshold when he hears them talking.

“This was Javier when he was little,” his father tells her. He watches a photo pass between them.

“Who’s that woman?” she points to the photo, “Is that his mother?”

His father nods. “Yeah.”

She grins. “The baby looks so much like Javi did here. He’s so cute,” she laughs. She passes the photo back to his father. “Javi never really talks about his childhood and he didn’t have any photos like this in Colombia, so this is the first time I’ve seen any of this.”

His father shrugs. “Javi’s a bit odd about talking about this place. He always wanted to get away, and now that he has, I think he’s trying hard to forget it.”

His wife shakes her head. “No,” she assures. “Javi remembers this place. He’s just got a way about him, you know? Always too distracted by the future to bother with the past or the present.” She shrugs. “At least, he was. I think he’s a little more present these days.”

Javi knows he shouldn’t do this, stand here in the doorway and ease drop, but he can’t help it. The scene before him is an oddly intimate one and he doesn’t want to ruin it, but at the very same time, he can’t tear himself away from listening. He didn’t know either of them felt that way, and he didn’t even consider that they could bond over him.

“I know you probably don’t need me to tell you this, but I know you make him happy,” Chucho tells her. She smiles, and Javi can’t help but smile too. His is more bittersweet though. “He hasn’t been like this since...” His father thinks. “Since his mother passed, maybe. Maybe even a little before—maybe before she got sick.”

“What was she like?”

Javi knocks on the door. They both shift their eyes over to him. “Mijo,” his father says, “How’s the family treating you out there?”

“Oh, you know, brutally as always,” Javi says nonchalantly, looking over at his wife. “I’ve come to get her back, though.”

“You’ve had her for long enough to yourself,” Chucho quips. She laughs from beside him.

She points to the photos scattered in front of them. “He was showing me pictures of you as a baby.”

“That’s what I feared.” Javi enters the room finally.

She scrunches her nose. “Don’t be like that,” she teases. “Mira,” she holds up the photo her father had just shown her. “Pequeño bebé Javi.”

He glimpses at the photo, but not for too long. Something tightens in his chest at the sight of his mother, something he’s not ready to unpack just yet.

“You think you’ll be ready to head out soon?” Javi asks. “I think he’s gonna start getting fussy if we stay any longer.”

“I don’t think so—“ she begins, but then she sees the look in Javi’s eyes. That silent pleading. She gives him a look back, one that tells him she’s not so thrilled about the way he’s acting. He’s stubborn though.

“Maybe, actually,” she gives in. She hands the photo back to his dad. “Thank you for showing me these. I’ll have to come back sometime without Javi and the baby.”

Javi’s dad nods, but he knows. He’s kind enough to let it go though, and Javi’s ever more grateful for his wife’s presence.

“I’ll walk you out.”

Javi leads the way, slowly his pace so he can say his goodbyes on the way out. Everyone in the house wants hugs, but the people outside are too busy clutching drinks and children, or in the midst of conversation to do so. It takes longer than Javi likes, but after ten minutes or so, they find their way back to his tía. She smiles at them.

“Ah, you were the one holding her hostage,” she tells Chucho. “Javi was right.”

The baby reaches out towards his wife. She smiles at him before taking him in her arms and kissing his cheeks. “Hola, mi amor,” she coos. He nestles against her, and Javi smiles, reaching up to scratch his back before looking back at his aunt. “We’re about to head out. He’s gonna start getting fussy if we don’t go soon.”

Javi watches his father and aunt exchange looks quickly and his dare to twitch. His wife puts an arm around his back, though, pulling him close—grounding him.

His dad circles around to the baby, and Javi’s tía returns her attention back to him.

“Come back tomorrow?” she asks, leaning closer to him. “Your father needs help but he’s too stubborn to ask for it; you two are too similar in that sense.”

She affectionately grips his chin and he smiles at her. “Yeah okay, pero no big event like tonight, okay?” he requests. “I love them but I can’t stand another question about Colombia.”

“I promise,” she says. “Don’t be afraid to bring them around too.” She looks over at his wife and child. Chucho is in the middle of kissing the boy’s head and his wife is grinning wide. Javi can’t help but note how genuine it is, the smile, or the way she looks so at ease, as if this was her hometown and not his own.

He doesn’t say anything more, because the two of them know he won’t be getting out of the house without his wife and child; she’s fond of this place, and though he doesn’t love the trip down memory lane he feels as though he owes her that much. His Pop, too, bless him. Javi knows he’s too unkind, knows that the man only wants the best for him, but he can’t help but meet that with indifference.

After Chucho is done saying goodbye to his wife and child, Javi eases his way out of his wife’s hold. He leans forward, and, taking himself and his father by surprise, he embraces the older man in a hug.

Despite the way he slightly towers over his father, Javi cannot help the way he feels so small in his father’s arms. Chucho holds him tight and firm, and Javi welcomes it, closing his eyes for a minute. When they pull back, Chucho holds his face and places his forehead on Javi’s.

“I love you, mijo,” he says, “Now that you’re a father I’m sure you can understand just how much.”

Javi puts a hand over one of his dad’s. He nods. “I love you too, Pop. I’ll be back in the morning, okay?”

Chucho smiles. Javi sees the single dimple he has reflected in his father’s features. “Drive safe,” he tells Javi and his wife collectively. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Javi looks down at his wife and the baby, and he does it—he understands the way his father loves him, and what’s more, he gets why this town is a place the man hasn’t ever left. In the cracks and crevices of this town are the memories of a life they had led before, Javi and him and his mother. For all the good and the bad that they had experienced here, it would always serve as a reminder that it had happened—that life had been lived and love had been had. This was his father’s Colombia.

One day Javi will tell him this, that he understands. Today he lets it end with an affectionate pat on the man’s cheek, though, some echo of the sort of thing the man would have done to him when he was a boy.

Maybe Laredo isn’t half bad, Javi decides. Not like this, anyways. 

forever/everything tag list : @astroboots , @frannyzooey , @wyn-dixie , @rosiefridayrogersunday , @melaniermblt , @theorganasolo , @amneris21 , @honestly-shite , @over300books​

javi tag list : @wyn-dixie , @rosiefridayrogersunday , @disgruntledspacedad , @melaniermblt , @walt-breslin , @theorganasolo , @amneris21 , @hb8301 , @penajavier , @darnitdraco , @over300books , @dobbyjen​

scenes tags: @gravegoth​​ , @sarahjkl82-blog​​ , @cmonkeepmoving​​

[stxrrywildflower]

safe

pairing - spencer reid x reader

summary - after being kidnapped by the unsub, you must race to escape the labyrinth you are imprisoned in while the team receives a shocking video reguarding your safety. (summary is kinda bad :( pls read though)

warnings - kidnapping, mentions of possible rape, blood and injuries, slight curing

word count - ?

you creeped into the house after hearing a large crash from inside. originally, hotch had sent you to a suspects house to investiagte. it was only 10 minutes away and the suspect wasn’t likely to be the unsub which is why you are allowed to go alone. however, you currently found yourself gun drawn, creeping through the house.

despite the crash, it was eerily quiet. almost too quiet. you thought you heard a creek from behind you but once spinning around you were met with nothing. you sighed and placed your gun back in your holster on your hip with the intention of picking up one of the papers on the table.

instead, you heard a sickening crack and felt nothing but pain in the back of your head. seconds later, everything went dark.

meanwhile, back at the police station, hotch paced back in forth as he listened to morgan, rossi, and emily debate theories. reid and j.j. were at the morgue examining the past victims bodies.

“how long has y/n been gone?” hotch asked, gaining the attention of his fellow agents.

“about an hour i would say, why?” rossi responded.

hotch opened his mouth to respond but stopped when one of the police officers knocked on the door of the conference room. he walked over to open the door and accepted the package that was given. “what’s that?” morgan asked as he moved next to hotch who shrugged. the package was light and looked official.

after opening, he let out a frustrated sigh. inside was y/n’s badge and gun. “no, no, no,” emily spoke as she immediately went to grab her phone to call reid and j.j., presumably telling them to get back as soon as possible. meanwhile, hotch was on the phone calling garcia.

you woke up with a throbbing pain in your skull. you would be shocked if you didn’t have a concussion. you tried to examine your surroundings but you were only in a long grey hallway with four doors on the surrounding sides, nothing else. suddenly, one of the doors opened and your presumed captor walked in. he had on a full black outfit including a mask, preventing you from seeing your face.

“ah agent y/n, welcome!” the unsub spoke.

you groaned and went to pull against the ropes tying your hands back. “what the hell do you want,” you practically growled out. that only made the unsub last.

“i want to play a game. both with you and your team. first things first, i’m going to take off the restraints and then your shirt. if you try anything i will put a bullet in your brain. do you understand?” he asked. you nodded slightly as the tears started flowing once thinking of the possible scenarios the could happen. the only two were that he wanted you to feel exposed or the fact that he could potentially rape you.

the ropes tying your hands back were suddenly cut leaving you free. the unsub then pulled your shirt off and began to slowly walk away but not before re-tying your hands. “by the way agent y/n, if your team does find where we are located, there’s a slim chance that they will actually find you. and if you do make it out of this room, try not to go insane when you get lost,” he said with a grin before fully exited the room clutching your shirt. you glanced down at your exposed torso. you were left in your black jean pants, combat boots, and sports bra. you could work with that.

decided to try something you saw in a movie, you stood up as much as you could and the slammed down on the floor as hard as you could. the wooden chair broke underneath you, allowing for you to slip out of the restraints and stand up. it took a couple tries for you to regain your balance, even then you had to hold on to a wall. but once reaching the closet door you used all your strength in an attempt to pry it oppen. thankfully after a few minutes, the door opened just enough for you to slip out. once out of the room, you realized just want the unsub meant. you were in a labyrinth with at least 12 different paths in front of you.

“alright, i need to get back to the team. i need to get back to spencer,” you mumbled softly to yourself as you picked one of the paths.

spencer and j.j. rushed into the police station and into the room they were set up in. morgan let j.j. through but shut the door once reid reached them. “morgan what the hell is going on!” reid shouted. morgan gripped his arm and led him to a different room, glancing at hotch on the way who simply nodded.

“reid, y/n has been taken by the unsub. he sent her badge and gun in a package to hotch a few minutes ago,” morgan spoke softly.

spencer shot up. “y/n? no, she couldn’t have been. i should have been with her,” he rushed out. morgan walked over and placed his arms on reid’s shoulders. “hey pretty boy, i need you to take a deep breath and look to me,” morgan started before picking up once reid did just that. “i know you love her and are obviously taking this hard but we need your head in this. we will get her back reid.”

spencer nodded before being led out of the room and into the other by morgan. the room, however, went silent when he stepped in. “spence,” j.j. spoke softly. “can we please just get back to the case?” he mumbled. hotch glanced around before calling garcia back.

“anything?” he asks.

“nothing yet, the profile is giving me too many results. i need more info-” garcia started but cut off when her attention went to something else.

“what garcia?” emily sputtered out.

“oh my god, you need to see this,” she gasped. suddenly a live video feed was displayed on the tv. it was a long grey hallway, unknown to the team it was just like the one you were in earlier. at the end, just out of view to get a good look of the face was a women in a chair. she had your color hair and the same shirt you were wearing.

“that’s her shirt,” reid struggles to get out.

everyone turned back to look at the screen. a figure appeared in the room, presumably the unsub, and pulled out a gun. the room went silent as a gunshot echoed through. the women fell back in the chair, dead from the bullet through her forehead.

from that moment on, the teams expressions changed. garcia hung up and attempted to track the signal. reid rushed out of the room and down the hallway, tears already appearing on his cheeks. j.j. followed him, ready to comfort him at loosing his girlfriend but could not help but begin crying herself. emily was shocked and stood still for a moment before derek brought her in a hug. hotch and rossi delt with the fact that you could be dead the best. they kept straight faces and turned to each other.

“she could still be alive,” hotch started. “hotch-” rossi started but was cut off by hotch again. “we couldn’t make out the female in the image. yes, she did look like y/n but we can’t be sure of that. we need to finish the profile,” he stated before turning back to the board.

“wait!” rossi exclaimed. “y/n was only taken a little over an hour ago. how did the unsub manage to package, get the proper stamps and confirmation, and send it to us in the short time.”

“he’s a mailman,” emily stated once she stepped away from morgan. she then pulled out her phone to call garcia before handing it to hotch.

“garcia, we concluded that the house y/n was out was an old address and no one lived there,” hotch spoke resulting in garcia nodding. “how many mailmen are there in this town?” garcia typed for a minute. “8,” she spoke.

“this guy would have a history of medical issues regarding ocd and possible bipolar disorder. he’s mid 30s-40s and needs to have owned a big area of land,” rossi adds to the profile.

“one sir. aiden o’riley. he owns a 30 acre property just outside of the city. i just sent the address to your phones.”

“let’s go. assume y/n is alive and be careful,” hotch ordered. j.j. and reid were alerted and ran to an suv alongside everyone else.

once arriving to the property with the other police officers, they moved in the building which led to the underground. they then all realized that it was a maze. after receiving further orders from hotch, morgan took of running down one of the straight hallways.

he turned a few corners, deeming each clear and moving on. suddenly, after spinning around in the dark hallway, his body collided with someone. he immediately pointed his gun and flashlight at the figure.

you glanced into morgan’s light despite the pain it brought you. “y/n,” he breathed out. “morgan i’m okay, i’m okay i promise,” you rushed. he pulled you into a tight hug after retracting his gun and cradled the back of your head with his hand.

“we thought you were dead,” morgan revealed. you glanced up confusingly, desperately trying to ignore the pain in your head.

“what?” you went to ask but we’re cut off by the piercing sound of the intercome morgan was using. you gasped and lowered yourself to the ground, just then feeling the true pain of your injuries.

“we got o’riley!” the voice called.

you groaned as morgan spoke back. you heard your name through the radio system but couldn’t make out what they were saying. you shut your eyes and tried to focus on what morgan was then saying to you. it was something along the lines of ‘i’m going to get you out of here’. your body was lifted by morgan and you burrowed yourself into his shoulder, thankful for your practically older brother at that point.

once reaching the exit, morgan set you down on your feet after you claimed you could walk. he kept an arm firmly around you as you were guided out onto the grass. the first one to notice you was hotch who had exited closest to you. he ran over and shrugged off his fbi jacket. you just sobbed slightly and hugged him which he greatfully accepted. the jacket was then wrapped around you to cover you up as you were guided around the building to the ambulance that was waiting.

you sat in the back of the ambulance, not on the gurney yet, with hotch and morgan next to you. the emt’s voices became mumbled as you noticed a tall skinny man and a blonde woman emerge from the building.

“spencer?” you called out softly. morgan glanced down confused and then up at spencer who’s line of vision was where you were. the two of you made eye contact. at that moment you didn’t care about your injuries.

you shrugged off the emt’s and ripped out the iv i’m your arm. after stumbling down and out of morgan and hotch’s grip, you took off running to where spencer was. it obviously took you a little while to do, due to your injuries including your leg but the time was cut in half when spencer met you half way.

he pulled you into a tight hug. your arms went around his back and you burrowed your head in his chest. he just gasped slightly and hid his face in your shoulder.

“we all thought you were dead. the unsub sent us a video of him shooting someone who looks exactly like you,” spencer mumbled into your head.

you pulled away softly. “that explains why he took my shirt. but hey, i’m here now and i’m alive and i’m not going anywhere. that’s all that matters,” you spoke, moving your hand up to his cheek. he smiled at you before leading you back towards the ambulance where a smiling hotch and grinning morgan stood.

[hollywoodblondeatlarge]

Catatonic

Well, surely, there are more important things to write about. OK?

I mean, we are living in the time of COVID. There’s a presidential election about to take place in my home country. There’s a US baseball world series (Go Dodgers!)… there’s civil unrest, Black Lives Matter, there’s starvation... and of course, there’s this...

Look. Let me begin by saying that Cats are not front page news. For the record, I don’t even own a cat.  But my neighbour’s cat, DAHLI seems to prefer life at the Hollywood Blonde estate (ok, cottage) -and she spends most of her time, here….vying  for my affection. She’s adorable. Nothing wrong with that.

She visits daily. For most of the day. Maybe it’s because the Hollywood Blonde at Large kitchen is always serving up mouthwatering delights and she follows the intoxicating aromas that waft through my open garden door.

Or perhaps she just hates her owners. 

OK, OK, I hate her owners. They look angry. They don’t say good morning. They play the worst music on the planet.  They make fires. They are always burning their rubbish. What IS that? And more importantly, they are constantly emptying heavy, stinky items into their ginormous wheelie bin outside …in the middle of the night. We hear pounding thuds… and we are convinced that they are heaving dead bodies into the bin - ones that they have somehow carved up during the wee hours. Passers by, mailmen, delivery guys... who knows.

We also think Dahli is on to them …and appears at our door because it smells a helluva lot better in here.

Dahli wears a red collar that reads “please don’t feed me.” 

C’mon, now, you know you can’t say that to a Jewish mother… 

“DAHLInk! Eat, Bubbalach! You’re too thin! You’re falling out of that coat!!” 

And Dahli is actually Little Shops of Horror’s Audrey reincarnated …she wants me to feed her alllllll night long.

She enters the house with that desperate, wide-eyed, ‘feed the children’ look…“PUHLEEEEEEZE, it only costs a dollar a day to save these precious little lives…!”

There are cats starving in Biafra. How can I ignore such a look?

So I feed her a lil’ gefilte fish. Then, maybe a lil’ lox, some seaweed snacks… 

I brush her so she doesn’t leave her farcarcta hair all over the place, thank you.   I make soft, squishy little places for her to nap and I pet her up the wazzoo (no, not literally…that’s just gross)

… She has a constant need for “the hand…” She will jump up just to be “under my hand” so that IT can pet her. 

The hand is separate from me. It could be mine. But it doesn’t have to be.      The hand has a purpose. It is to serve Dahli. She focuses on my hand like it has a life of its own. She follows it with her gaze. She contemplates it.  The hand is EVERYTHING. Simply put, she worships the hand.   

“I just need the hand, Gimme the hand… Under Her Hand…”

She also talks to me. We have deep conversations. Usually about what I’m cooking.  think she may speak yiddish because I don’t understand most of the words. But I know the look. And she sure knows guilt. Huh! she’s Jewish!

Dahli often lies down next to me in the studio when I’m recording animation. She must like that quiet lull of crazy children’s character voices...

Dahli also likes to meditate by the Buddha in my garden. She poses in front of him every morning in her “downward cat” position -stretching out every limb in homage while she listens to the wind chimes in the tree above -and focuses her gaze every now and then on one of a variety of birds that flock to my little garden sanctuary.  Aaaaaaah, so peaceful.

 Such a gentle creature she is. Such an affectionate little lover of people, nature and stone statues. 

Peace in the garden. Such enchanting quiet in the Shires, among the sheep, the cows, the goats, the early morning bird chorus, the church chimes, and yet- this morning, just as the sun was on the rise, ... wait for it...

I awoke to the most insane screaming I have ever heard...right outside my window. It sounded like a cat fight.. Ooooh! maybe the two weird women next door :-)   Popcorn ready!

Maybe one of them chopped up the other one’s lover!!

OK, maybe not. Perhaps it was a real cat fight since there are plenty of cats in our little Shires neighbourhood. Yet, I could see nothing when I looked out my window. So, down the stairs I go to open the front door. 

In a flash, Dahli races in with some poor forshimmelled bird hanging upside down out of her mouth. Dahli is carrying on like a happy madwoman as she parades it in front of me… the poor little bird looks like Francis Farmer after her electro shock therapy. 

This may have been the point when I passed out.

From what I understand -what happened next was Terry, my husband, went chasing Dahli around the lounge until he released the manic bird from her mouth and sent her flying outside…. Where… she crashed into the fence and landed on the ground flailing - - just in time for Dahli to capture her once again.

The next thing I remember -Dahli was standing at our sliding glass door, screaming at me - yet again -- with the helpless bird hanging out of her mouth… She was begging to be noticed and perhaps even applauded. She clawed at the window, she gave me the million dollar guilt look. “Open the damn door!”

“Hey! Hollywood Blonde!  PSSST! Over here! Look!!! Look what I’ve got!  See this farcarcta bird? I killed her for you!!!”

“No, no, no, this is just soooo wrong!” I yelled at her- (through the glass of course.)  “You killed a helpless bird, LADY! What the hell are you thinking?”

Desperate, I asked my cat-whisperer pal, Vinnie, across the pond, “what do I do now? She brought me a dead bird???!” 

He told me to preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Bata boom. 

She has been pleading to come inside all day and I’m pissed. Suddenly, she does not understand the Yiddish expressions I’m throwing out at her.

I’m more than pissed. I’m horrified. I’m nauseated. I try not to but I’m extremely judgmental of her behaviour.  My friend says  “this means she loves you!’ And… “what an honour! She is sharing with you!”

And I’m thinking, “Lady, you love me so you kill for me?”   We’ve watched those episodes on the telly ... ya know like “Snapped” and “Couples Who Kill.”  

"Kitty Assassins....”

She loves me -and so she has to kill for me.  I ponder this for a moment. 

How can I possibly apply this to my life?

Hmmm, do I  knock off Trump for the sake of mankind?  

Out of love, of course.

Don’t answer that.

If I showed up at a Biden rally with my Trump trophy hanging upside down out of my mouth, might I be fed, petted, admired?

 Don’t answer that either.

I just don’t understand how a being so beautiful, so extraordinary, mysterious, soft, cuddly and majestic can turn into a killer overnight?

Clearly I grew up in the city. I know nothing about animal behaviour.  Unless of course you ask me about my exes…  

Can we tawk?

Hollywood life had not properly prepared me for the likes of this. I had an indoor cat called “Stevens.”  I liked to say, this is my Cat, “Stevens.”

LA cool cat, ya know. She spent her days working on her tan - lazing on the carpet in the sun that streamed in through my patio doors. She ate my left over sushi and munched on seaweed. She had regular manicures and pedicures. She wore a bandana. She never went out. Hey, nobody walks in LA… She didn’t chase dogs or birds. But she liked to watch them on the telly.

Aah, those were innocent times. 

Life in the country sure is different. I’m afraid to think of what Dahli might bring me next?

Hmmm, maybe I can entice her to bring me ...“45…?” 

Remember, they have a giant wheelie bin next door… 

Hollywood Blonde at Large signing off. 

Who’s catatonic?

And thank you, Leslie, for forshimmelled...

[aion-rsa]

Seinfeld: The Most Important Lessons from a Show About Nothing

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Netflix will stream the entire 180-episode library of a TV classic starting October 1, 2021. Seinfeld is as beloved and influential series as I Love Lucy, The Honeymooners, M*A*S*H, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and The Simpsons. But why? It doesn’t make us feel better about ourselves and we never come out smarter. Creators Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David never produced a “very special” episode, or tugged at the heart strings. Even its most tear-jerking moment, the loss of George Costanza’s (Jason Alexander) fiancée to cheap postage stamp glue, was merely a setup to a killer punchline. But it did teach a lesson. Don’t skimp on wedding invitations, it could be fatal.

Seinfeld operated on a “no hugging, no learning” edict from its very inception. David commanded no emotional or intellectual growth would be tolerated. Michael Richards’ Cosmo Kramer only really got close to people when wearing the Kavorka jacket. Elaine, played by the now most-awarded actress in TV history, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, would never think of taking dance class.

In spite of itself, Seinfeld did promote coping skills. Kramer could afford to live in an Upper West Side apartment with no visible means of support. George’s father Frank Costanza, played by Jerry Stiller, grew to appreciate Serenity Now on demand. The wise writers of the show knew there was a fine line between Zen and nihilism. After the series finale, Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer have years to ponder life’s lessons.

Here is some of the knowledge the Seinfeld characters have going in:

5 – Return your library books

Jerry Seinfeld, the actor, comedian and creator of the show which bears his name, grew up knowing “reading is fundamental.” His show broke rules of television, and his character ran afoul of a library cop investigating an overdue copy of Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer. It was last spotted when Jerry took it out in 1971. But for a guy who started a show with a no-learning credo, it’s not a big thing. 

“Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me,” library investigations officer Lt. Bookman (Philip Baker Hall) warns the successful comedian. “Sure, we’re too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?” That child would probably end up like Mr. Heyman, the teacher who got fired for giving Costanza a wedgie.

4 – Wait after swimming

Do women know about shrinkage? Anyone who didn’t, learned about it from George in “The Hamptons,” from season 5. The human body was designed to operate best in its natural temperature of 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. When a man goes swimming in cold water, the blood rushes to warm the vital parts, like the brain and heart, leaving appendages to shrink “like a frightened turtle.” No one knows why it happens. It just does. George is right to think Jerry’s girlfriend got short-changed when she accidentally walks in on him changing out of his swimsuit. Elaine doesn’t even know how men walk around with those things.

3 – Don’t trust mailmen

There is a reason United States postal workers “go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody.” Speaking as one of the brethren, Newman (Wayne Knight) says it’s “because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming, there’s never a let-up. It’s relentless. Every day it piles up more and more and more, and you gotta get it out but the more you get it out the more it keeps coming in. And then the bar code reader breaks and it’s Publisher’s Clearing House day.” 

Jerry Seinfeld’s nemesis calls in sick when the weatherman predicts showers, even though it is first on the list of the “neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow” mailman oath. Oh, and forget everything you think you know about zip codes, “they’re meaningless.”  

2 – Do the opposite

“Hi, my name is George. I’m unemployed, and I live with my parents.” With a pickup line like that, what could possibly go wrong? It lowers the bar so much, it is irresistible, and there is nowhere to go but up. When Costanza tries out his bad luck opening he’s a flailing real estate agent with little to no prospects. 

“My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be,” he says. But realizes “If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.” And George Costanza vows, for the rest of his life, to go against any normal instinct he feels. By the end of the episode he is working as the Travelling Secretary of the New York Yankees.

1 – Keep reservations

“You better give me the insurance because I’m going to beat the hell out of this thing,” Jerry tells a rental car agent in the season 3 episode “The Alternate Side.” He is absolutely justified, even though auto insurance on a rental is a rip-off, according to The Good Place. The first rule to comedy is timing, and the first rule to making a reservation is keeping it. Look how well it worked out for the gang when trying to get seated in “The Chinese Restaurant.” 

That rule also applies to car rentals, so Jerry is fully within his rights to break the credo of the show and explain the laws of perpetual motion. “You know how to take the reservation,” he schools the agent. “You just don’t know how to hold the reservation. And that’s really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.” That’s how he got booked on The Tonight Show.

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0 – Nothing

If we learned anything from all our years watching Seinfeld, it is that we’ve learned nothing. Not a thing. Legend has it, the show was pitched to the networks like that, and this was corroborated in “The Pitch.” “So, we go into NBC, we tell them we’ve got an idea for a show about nothing,” Jerry asks George for clarification. In reality, the whole show-about-nothing pitch was made up by the press. But Seinfeld knew enough to play into that.

He learned it on Seinfeld.

Seinfeld will be available to stream on Netflix starting October 1, 2021.

The post Seinfeld: The Most Important Lessons from a Show About Nothing appeared first on Den of Geek.

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There are so many fun things to do in Chicago with kids it can be hard to decide what to do! Here is our list of things that will be fun for the kids and parents on your visit to Chicago along with where to eat and where to stay.

From the museums on the Chicago Lakefront to a food tour and the Ledge there are a ton of family friendly things to do when you visit the city.

Attractions

The Escape Game Chicago

If you are looking for a unique and fun indoor activity to do with your family be sure to check out The Escape Game! We weren’t sure if it would be kid friendly but it totally was. You are put in a room and have 60 minutes to figure out how to get out. Don’t worry the game master is there to help you. Book Your Escape Game Tickets Now!

We really enjoyed doing this together as a family and loved how the kids were able to help us out with the clues and were part of solving them. We ended up making it out of the room in time! Check out our post on: The Escape Game for more information and to book your escape game!

Skydeck

We went up to the 103rd floor over 1353 feet high and into a room that was surrounded with windows looking out over Chicago. It was so beautiful!! I loved that you could walk around the whole building so you saw Chicago from all angles (city and lakefront).

Then there is The Ledge. . .  An all-glass room that extends outside of the building! Crazy!! But also crazy cool!

Cannon walked right out and started jumping and both Craig and I yelled for him to stop. But the Skydeck worker assured us it was totally secure! Gradually all of us made our way out there and it was a really cool experience.

It was a bit cloudy when we were there and I am hoping we can go back another time when the sun is out and the sky is clearer.

They are also doing a remodel of the Willis Tower building and soon their will be shops and restaurants on the bottom 3 floors. So once you are done taking in the views you can do some shopping and eating!

Tip: Get there early. There is actually an outside waiting line – at this time you can’t wait inside the building so be prepared for that. Plus if you get there early there is a better chance that the weather will be good and clouds/fog won’t block your view. To that point keep an eye on the weather and pick a day that looks as clear as possible. Book Your Tickets Now!

Best In Chow Food Tour – Chicago Food Planet

I have always wanted to do a food tour, but wasn’t sure how it would go over with the kids. It ended up being great! We choose the right tour that was all about classic Chicago food (deep dish pizza, Chicago style hot dogs, hot beef sandwiches) which is also a lot of kids favorites. The Best In Chow Food Tour by Chicago Food Planet.

The tour was 3 hours long and we walked about 1 1/2 miles around Chicago stopping at a variety of restaurants to sample the food and also some Chicago landmarks where our guide gave us a great history lesson on Chicago and on the foods we were trying.

It was cool how we included not only history on Chicago, but also a lot of history and interesting facts about how these foods ended up being Chicago classics.

Eating 5 different kinds of foods can sound like a lot, but with the walking and the breaks in between to learn more about Chicago, the food it was perfect. Plus it kept the kids occupied and full so they were great and really enjoyed it.

At the end of our trip Carson said it was his favorite thing we did in Chicago! Book your tickets for the Best In Chow Food Tour now.

Centennial Ferris Wheel on Navy Pier

Head over to Navy Pier to go up on the Centennial Ferris Wheel! A fun way to get an amazing view of Chicago and the lakefront.

You can get tickets through the Go Chicago Card or Chicago Explorer or check with the Loew’s hotel – they sometimes have specials going where you can get tickets with your stay.

Chicago Magic Lounge

On Sunday the Chicago Magic Lounge puts on a show just for kids. We had no idea what to expect and when you get there you walk into a small laundromat room . . . we weren’t sure what to do so we started pushing some buttons. Then one of the machines opens up and lets you into a room where a lady is waiting to check you in.

She checked us in and the proceeded to pull a book on the wall that opened another wall that led us into the Magic Lounge. Such a fun way to get into the theatre!

From there we took our seat and ordered food and drinks and waited for the show to start.

The Magician did an amazing job and it was very interactive with the kids – calling up a lot of volunteers to help. Our kids happily kept their hands down, but definitely enjoyed watching the show.

At the end you are able to meet the Magician and pet his magic bird!

Andersonville

Our next stop brought us out to the Andersonville neighborhood of Chicago just north of downtown. Chicago has 70+ neighborhoods and it was fun to explore one of them! It was still a bustling area with people walking around yet had more of a small-town feel then the skyscrapers of downtown.

We checked out the toy store that was filled with a collection of fun and unique toys. Some of them were even invented by people from Chicago. Then headed to the Women and Children First bookstore that had an amazing collection of books with a focus on women authors and topics. Then the candy store that had a unique and delicious collection of candy. All these stores were PERFECT for kids!

We also spent time at the Swedish American Museum learning about the people that came over from Sweden to Chicago then moved into the Andersonville neighborhood. The Museum was interesting but what the kids really liked was the children’s museum area upstairs! It was all about the journey people made from Sweden to Chicago with all sorts of hands on activities for the kids – milking a cow, picking vegetables from the garden, cooking in their house, boarding the boat, it was really cool!

Andersonville had such a fun and inviting vibe to it. You could also tell the people that lived there and owned the shops had such pride in their neighborhood and Chicago. There is something to the craziness that is downtown Chicago and the energy you feel there. But it was cool to get a little bit outside of that (about a 15 minute drive) and into a neighborhood where you still felt that same energy just in a less chaotic way.

Emerald City Theatre

Catch a play at the Emerald City Theatre. They have an amazing lineup of kid and family friendly plays and they do an amazing job. When we were there we saw the Fantastic Mr. Fox and their energy on stage was so engaging. Plus the theatre was smaller and more intimate so there was not a bad seat in the place!

If this is your first time brining your kids to the theatre or you are a seasoned veteran you will not be disappointed.

Skating Ribbon

In the winter check out the Skating Ribbon at Maggie Daley Park. It is an awesome ice skating ribbon – not a rink as it is a curvy trail that goes around in a circle. You have amazing views of downtown Chicago while you are skating. It is a bit pricey at $15 per skate rental (same for kids)., but if you have your own skates it is free!

They have a concession stand area with picnic tables off of the ribbon. But be aware they have a Zamboni that comes through and fixes the ice for 1 hour multiple times throughout the day. So the ribbon is shut down during that time. . . which is frustrating when you get there right when that hour is starting!

Museums

Museum of Science and Industry

We could have spent all day here and wish we would have gotten here earlier since they had to kick us out when they closed at 5pm.The Museum of Science and Industry is one of our favorite things to do in Chicago with kids.

There are a lot of hands on activities and yes some of the things are pretty complex but kids have a way of finding how to make it fun for their age. Even if that means they aren’t doing it right but instead are just hitting a bunch of buttons.

They also have a kids area that is perfect for toddlers up to 10 year olds. And right next to the kids area is a farm area where you can drive a combine and sit in a tractor.

The highlight of our visit was the kids watching a baby chick hatch and come out of its shell. They stood there with their noses glued to the glass for a good 20 minutes waiting for the chick to come out. It was a really cool experience for them to see up close and personal.

We recommend giving yourself a whole day to explore the museum and either bringing a lunch or buying lunch at their cafeteria.

We parked on the street across from the museum and it was a perfect spot since we could walk to get pizza from the same spot. This is definitely one of the best Chicago museums for kids, we definitely recommend a visit!

You can get tickets in a discounted package like the Go Chicago Card or the Chicago Explorer Card. Or check out a reciprocal museum membership!

Chicago Children’s Museum

The Children’s Museum is located at Navy Pier. It is a multiple story museum and most of the things there are geared towards younger age kids 6 and under. Our 8 (almost 9) year-old found a lot of things to do and we spent a good amount of time in the building section.

We’d recommend this Chicago museum for kids 10 and under – and just know for older kids you will want to check out the exhibits and find the ones that are geared more towards older kids.

The house/restaurant/car areas always seem to be a big hit with our kids and they love playing house or setting up their own situations. In this case they really enjoyed being mailmen and setting up their “house” in the tree house area. It is fun to watch their creativity come to life when they are in Children’s Museums and can just explore at their leisure.

And of course the water room is always a hit and keeps the kids occupied for a while.

Cannon and Craig ended up spending an hour building a house while the other kids came and went exploring other areas of the museum. I don’t know who had more fun Craig or Cannon!

We ended up in the same boat where we could have spent more time but they were closing. What is up with all these museums closing at 5pm! We don’t really get moving until after lunch . . .

We recommend giving yourself a good 4 hours here or if you want to come earlier play for a while, then head out to Navy Pier to eat, then come back if your kids aren’t done playing!

Check out discounted tickets through the Go Chicago Card or the Chicago Explorer Card. Or a Reciprocal Museum Membership can get you 50% off of tickets.

Adler Planetarium

Have space lovers in your family? Check out the Adler Planetarium! The Planetarium location is awesome – right along the lake front and they have fascinating information along with great planetarium shows. Our kids really enjoyed The Universe: A Walk Through Space and Time exhibit along with the very hands on Planet Explorers exhibit.

They have a variety of shows available including one that is specifically for little kids – with Sesame Street characters in it! Check out the schedule here.

Shedd Aquarium

A huge aquarium with tons of great information and fish. LOTS of fish! We haven’t gone to the Shedd Aquarium very often since it seems like it is always busy . . . We have heard it is best to go first thing in the morning so you aren’t stuck waiting in line.

If aquariums are you thing it is worth making a visit. They have over 32,000 animals and over 5 million gallons of water. With exhibits on Beluga Whales, the Caribbean Reef, jellyfish, penguins, sharks and so much more.

Field Museum Of Natural History

We walked to the Field Museum from the RV park we were staying at and had a couple of hours to explore. We love how the museum pass gives us the opportunity to do this! Since we get in for free. There were a lot of really cool things to look at, but out of all the museums it was our least favorite.

It seemed like the kids felt the same way. We kind of quickly walked through all of the displays which did take a while since there are so many and it is a big museum.

If you want to check it out the Go Chicago Card is the recommended way to go for the best price.

Art Institute of Chicago

If you have a budding artist in the family or you are really into art then you won’t want to miss the Art Institute of Chicago. They also have an Artist Studio that they recommend you stop in to see what is going on the day you visit. I know for us hands on activities are the only thing that really makes an Art Museum work for our family. Or else their hands want to go to touching the art work . . . If you are unsure about visiting an Art Museum with your kids check out our post: Tips For A Successful Trip To An Art Museum With Kids.

Check out the Go Chicago Card for best ticket prices.

Where To Stay

Loews Hotel

WOW. That is what we all said when we walked into our room on the 14th floor overlooking Navy Pier with a play campfire and tent setup for us. If a room could be perfect in Chicago this would be it!

I love how the Loews hotel caters to kids and families. On our way in we were greeted with a package of toys for each of our 4 kids. Yes they each got their own! We had booked for the Snowed-Inn package so as I mentioned above when we walked in the room the tent was set up along with hot chocolate and cookies for the kids and an in-room movie of our choice.

After settling in we took a walk around the hotel and they have a beautiful lap pool for swimming, a spa and workout room. Along with an outside patio area that looked like it would be beautiful in the warmer months.

The location is also perfect since you are close to all the downtown activities, the Magnificent Mile and we were able to walk everywhere we wanted to go. It was definitely hard to leave!

The Guesthouse Hotel

I don’t even know if it is fair to call this a hotel! We walked into the room and we couldn’t believe the high ceilings, the space and the gorgeous decorations! The owners had started down the path of building condos and then decided to change to a hotel. And we are the lucky recipients of these unbelievable hotel rooms!

We stayed in a 3 bedroom suite with 2 bathrooms (the master bath had an amazing shower that doubled as a sauna!) a living room, dining area and a full kitchen. It was hard to leave to go out to explore when the place was so great!

You can also let them know ahead of time if you want any baby gear (cribs, highchair, toys, etc) or games and coloring supplies for the older kids and they will have them there waiting for you.

The lobby area was also beautiful and they hold small weddings and conferences there. Or when events aren’t going on you can just go down to hangout by the fireplace or in the library – where they also have kids books and games.

Our visit felt more like we were visiting friends than staying in a hotel. Both Craig and I said we could live there!

Best Western River North

Another nice hotel option is the Best Western River North. This is a great hotel if you are looking for a more affordable option, but also want a nice big room. Plus it is located in a great location to be able to walk to a lot of the downtown attractions.

Our room was huge and had 2 double beds and a pullout bed. They also have a large pool that was perfect for our family and allowed the kids to burn off some energy.

Another plus was their onsite restaurant that had pizza for dinner, a bar and a great breakfast selection. It was snowing when we were there so it was nice that we didn’t have to leave the hotel, but could stay right on site to get a tasty and convenient dinner and breakfast.

Our kids favorite thing about the hotel was the free ice cream sandwiches and Push-Ups that they had behind the front desk. Plus they were unlimited so you could get as many as you wanted!

RV Option: McCormick Center Truck Marshaling lot

Check out our post on our stay for all the details. But basically it is a truck parking lot where you can park your RV and then walk or ride your bike to the museums and Navy Pier! It is nothing glamorous and there are no hookups but the location was pretty great.

Where To Eat

SafeHouse

I wasn’t really sure if I should put this under Attractions or Where To Eat since it is basically both! In order to get into the restaurant you have to give them the password and if you don’t know it they make you do a dance and flap your arms around like a chicken and then they let you in.

Little do you know everyone in the restaurant was watching your dance moves! So upon entering everyone claps and cheers for you. Good times!

You then sit down to order and are given all of the instructions on dinner and drinks as well as a set of clues for an in-restaurant scavenger hunt. There is also a magician in the house that does some pretty cool card tricks.

The food is done in packages that include an appetizer, meal and a drink (non alcoholic – but never fear there is a great selection of alcoholic drinks to pick from). You will not leave hungry assuming you can force yourself to sit down and eat!

We were having so much fun walking around taking everything in and trying to find the clues that our server had to come find us to tell us to come sit down and eat or it would get cold!

If you are there to celebrate or just for the heck of it – order the flaming dessert. It is a huge ice cream with ha flaming candle on top. The kids LOVED to end the night with this!

A totally awesome experience that everyone in the family will enjoy and remember.

Urban Belly

This place was delicious!! Our kids weren’t sure about trying the Asian inspired cuisine. They aren’t the most adventurous eaters. But by the time we were done they all LOVED it and wanted to come back the next day.

They had great kids menu options (a very simple fried chicken with white rice that even picky eaters would be OK with) plus some good sharing food like the dumplings and the huge bowl of soup. They even have sharing bowls out that you can use!

Craig and I loved ours as well and definitely recommend checking them out!

Bar Roma

Looking for upscale Italian dining? Then this is the place for you! It is located in the Andersonville neighborhood and had an awesome vibe and ambiance. The menu is somewhat limited as there isn’t a kids menu, but they were super accommodating and were able to make a simple pasta for our picky eaters. Plus they have a meatball option – 3 giant meatballs – that the kids loved!

Craig and I enjoyed the drink selection and our meals were fantastic! If you are looking for delicious pasta this is the place for you.

Giordano’s Pizza

After we were done at the MSI (Museum of Science and Industry) or I should say once they kicked us out when they closed . . . we took about a mile walk to Giordano’s pizza for a real deep dish Chicago style pizza. Be aware that these pizzas can take up to 45 minutes to cook so you may want to call ahead or just be prepared to wait. We ordered an appetizer to hold the kids over while we waited.

Gino’s East Pizza

I am from Wisconsin, but I don’t think I had ever had true Chicago deep dish pizza growing up. Yes, I have had Uno chain pizza, but it doesn’t even come close to comparing to true deep dish pizza in Chicago!

We visited Gino’s East (South Loop location) and sat in a booth where we could see out to the streets of Chicago. They also have a brewery so we had amazing pizza and microbrew!

It would be hard to say which one was better since I liked the crust better at Gino’s, but liked the sauce better at Giordano’s. But in either case both were good and I definitely want to eat at both places again. Trying all the deep dish pizza joints is definitely one of the great things to in Chicago with kids!

Doughnut Vault

If you follow us you know we always seek out the best donuts. Well, Doughnut Vault did not disappoint. They were yummy! It was an interesting place since you walk into a room about the size of a walk in closet and there is a lady behind the counter and she has all the donuts next to her (where you can’t even see them). And the flavors are listed on a board so basically you come in and tell them what you want and get out of the way for the next person. It is a popular place! We weren’t ready for that and normally let the kids see the donuts and pick what they want, so Craig took them outside and quickly made decisions off of what I thought the kids would want.

The donuts weren’t anything fancy but they were super yummy and all of us enjoyed them. They are definitely in the running for best donuts in Chicago.

Free Things To Do

The Bean/Millennium Park

I wasn’t sure what all the hype was about. I mean it is a bean looking thing in the middle of a park . . . then we went and saw it. It is actually really cool! Given the shape of it and the reflection you can look at it 20 different ways and see a different reflection. We had fun looking at all the different angles and going underneath it. Fun fact: Did you know it is actually named Cloud Gate not the Bean.

If you are in Chicago it is worth making a stop to check it out. It is located in Millennium Park and had we been in the city longer we would have scheduled a day to just hang out at Millennium Park. It looked like they had an amazing park for the kids and there was lots of room where we could have ran around and played tag and had a picnic. I also want to check out the crown fountain next time we are here.

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Lincoln Park Zoo

A FREE zoo! Yes you read that right everyone gets into this zoo free all the time! They have penguins and polar bears. Plus farm animals and apes. If your kids are into animals add this to your list of places to visit while in Chicago. Also be sure to check their site for different events going on at the zoo.

Lakeshore Trail

We used the Lakeshore trail that runs right along Lake Michigan to walk and bike to most of the places we went and it worked out great. We stayed at the McCormick Center Truck marshaling lot so everything was close and most things were in walking/biking distance. You can learn more about where we stayed here.

Navy Pier

Looking to do some sightseeing and walking head over to Navy Pier and walk out on the Pier and through the restaurants and shops. It is only free if you don’t buy anything :). And they do have some cool activities and attractions so maybe worth spending some money here.

Looking for ideas on how to get around the city with kids? Check out this great post on using Lyft and Uber with kids!

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                  **Thank you to Choose Chicago and their partners for hosting parts of our stay. All opinions are our own. This post contains affiliate links.**

The post 24 Fun And Exciting Things To Do In Chicago With Kids [Video Included] appeared first on Crazy Family Adventure.

[backtothestart02]

Running in the Sun - 1/?

A/N: I hesitate to even post this in full here, b/c I know none of you will read it, but I do it w/ all my fics, so I figure I may as well do it here.

An AU fic for the Host (movie/book) fandom that I started over a year ago. I’d love it immensely if some of you would r&r, but if you’re just antsy for westallen fics, those should hopefully be just around the corner as well. :)

Chapter 1 - Lakeland Valley

The sun rose over the top of the hills in the distance, warming the little down and sending glitter sparkling across the lake. It was early summer and the citizens of Lakeland Valley had yet to rise from their beds. As in decades gone by, their work remained fairly steady and simple. There were carpenters, farmers, butchers and blacksmiths. There were teachers and a mayor, along with the small cluster of mailmen and the aging afternoon fishermen. In a world of electronics, where the newest phone, the biggest gadget, a million apps on every size mobile device you could imagine were seemingly the focal point for every human being, this place was still ruled by manual labor. In its simplicity, it thrived and spread magic to anyone who came to it, especially in the summer when true to its name, the lake brought easy joy not easily obtained at any tropical island or expensive resort.

It was also, it seemed, the place where the highly successful Mister and Misses Stryder, originally hailing from upscale New York City, had chosen to send their daughter, Melanie, for the summer. Melanie was smart, beautiful, and resilient in the face of her high school study abroad program shipping her off to London for half the school year. When she returned to New York, she’d looked so weary that her parents had made the almost instantaneous decision of taking a long vacation to a place that had no sign of anything fast-paced or of the modern age. That place, they decided, was to stay with Uncle Jeb and his sister Maggie in the small, simple town of Lakeland Valley, Louisiana.

Jebediah and Magnolia Stryder were an odd pair. Not every pair of siblings into their early sixties and beyond lived together, but they didn’t seem to mind the occasional stare from the townspeople, or the fact that tongues would wag when they spread so much as the hint of a conspiracy theory. People brushed it off as a hobby because Jebediah brought in the best wheat in three counties and Magnolia produced clothing for women that was the envy of every seamstress around. Which maybe wasn’t saying much since the twosome had lived in that small town most of their lives.

The gossip in Lakeland Valley was that Jeb and Magnolia had one other brother, Bartholomew; who lived in St. Louis, Missouri. Bartholomew rarely visited, though he had a son and daughter-in-law, Trevor and Linda, who occasionally showed up for a family vacation with their children, Melanie and James. The children were doted upon, though they had been seen less and less lately with the city life keeping them busy year-round. This year, it seemed though, the speeding lifestyle had gotten the best of Melanie Stryder, and she had come to reside with her Uncle Jeb and Aunt Maggie for the summer.

She saw Jeb first when she stepped off the train. There was no airport in Lakeland Valley and no bus either, but the train station had been built into the town when it was first founded and managed to connect to the bigger stations in all the surrounding towns and cities.

“Hello, Melanie,” he said, smiling at her and taking her suitcase right out of her hand. “You look worn out.”

She half laughed-half sighed. “Hey, Uncle Jeb.” She weakly smiled because she couldn’t manage a hug with their hands full. “Thanks for meeting me. And yeah, I certainly feel that way.”

“Well, don’t worry. Your Aunt Maggie is making you a home cooked meal as we speak. Then I’ll put up a fire in the pit in the back and all you’ll have to do is sit back and stare at the stars. I can guarantee you those are hard to spot back in the city.”

The weak smile remained intact, though there was some regret in it now.

“Actually, I was hoping I could just go to bed after dinner. I’m exhausted.”

“Oh, sure.” He nodded, almost as if he’d been expecting it. “Stars will still be out tomorrow,” he said, and winked at her. She felt her guilt lessen and they slipped into easy conversation till they made their way to the old farmhouse on the edge of town.

……………

 Melanie woke the next morning to the sound of hammer pounding on nail outside her window. She opened one eye and winced as the sun streamed directly into it. She groaned and turned the other way on her bed, but it was no use. The pounding was getting closer, and so louder. There was no way she was going to close the window either. As she’d quickly learned when she arrived, it was much hotter in the house than it was outside, and Jeb and Maggie did not believe in air conditioning.

Still, the pounding was a mystery. She had noticed all the repairs that needed to be done when she first eyed the house before going in. Jeb had said nothing of fixing them though and neither had Maggie. Melanie figured they would have if they had planned on construction on the old house over the summer; especially if it would be done in the early morning right by her window before she was likely awake.

Melanie tossed the blankets off, straightened the tank top and shorts she’d gone to bed in and headed straight for the window, determined to give a piece of her mind to anyone who felt the need to make such a racket this early in the morning. Unless it was her family.

The pounding stopped right before she got there and she stopped too for a second, as if connected by whatever was disturbing her. Then she started moving again before the noise could interrupt her from the scolding she very much planned to deliver. She put her hands on the window sill and ducked her head out, looking both directions. She saw a ladder propped against the roof but there was no one in sight except Jeb, visible at a distance, out in the field along with a few other people she imagined assisted him in the task.

She pulled her head back inside and waited, expecting the noise to suspiciously start up again, but it didn’t. She heard a clatter coming from downstairs, though.

Maggie. With breakfast, she thought.

Knowing she was unlikely to get any more sleep in a room that was quickly sweating her skin with humidity from the thick air and scorching sun, she decided to go downstairs where at least there would be ice water at the kitchen table.

The stairs squeaked beneath her as she went down to the lower level. She half-expected Maggie to welcome her before she walked through the doorway. Probably a clipped hello and nothing more, because Aunt Maggie was not the real cheerful type. Just observant, cautious, and a good cook. But there was no such welcoming.

When Melanie walked into the kitchen, it was not her Aunt Maggie she saw or Uncle Jeb. It was a man, a young man from what she could tell. His back was drenched with sweat through the white tank he wore and his dark sandy blonde hair was soaked in it. He was well-contoured from his shoulders to his feet, her lusting female hormones did not hesitate to inform her. But what he was doing in this kitchen still remained a mystery.

Then, most unexpectedly, he turned on the sink where he was standing, rinsing off his dishes and lowered his mouth to the faucet.

“Hey!” Melanie cried out before his mouth touched the gleaming metal.

He stopped, turned around slowly and looked at her. She had to force herself to focus on the atrocity of what he was about to do and not how absolutely gorgeous his eyes were, even from this distance.

“You can’t do that,” she said.

He smiled and her hormones started raging again. She almost said stop it out loud just to calm the butterflies down.

“Yeah? Says who?” he asked, turning the faucet off and then leaning against the counter, hands braced on the edge to give her his full attention.

“Everything that is righteous and holy,” she informed him, eyes widening. He looked so amused now that it was no longer hard to focus on her argument, no matter how hot he looked standing there in her aunt and uncle’s kitchen. “Who are you anyway?” she demanded.

His grin widened. “I’m the reason you’re probably down here right now,” he said and her jaw dropped.

“You’re the hammer and nail outside my window?” she asked, aghast, though she’d suspected as much when she walked into the room.

He said nothing, but returned to the table where an empty glass stood beside a half-full pitcher of ice-cold water. He poured himself some and drank out of the glass then sighed loudly as it rushed through his body, cooling him.

“Good old Jebediah told me his niece was coming to stay with him for the summer.” He started coming towards her and stopped when he was about a foot and a half away. “I have to say though, I wasn’t expecting you.”

She frowned. “What were you expecting?”

He grinned wide. “Not someone this feisty.” He brushed past her, leaving some of his sweat on her arm, though he could have easily avoided it. “Definitely a city girl.”

She turned around and followed him till he was almost out the front door.

“How long are you here for? A few hours?” she asked, a little too forcefully. She didn’t know why.

He opened the front door and turned to look at her. He eyed her open hand, grabbed and wrapped it around the now empty glass. She looked down at it and frowned, then looked back up at him.

“All summer long, Melanie.” He winked at her, then went out into the sunlight, leaving her alone with his empty glass, her jaw-dropping expression, and the butterflies in full flutter in her stomach.

It was going to be a long summer.

*Also available on AO3 and FFnet.