#we were like the only asian people on the cruise and wow were we stared at a lot

[tenshi-agerasia]

ensemble stars characters as things i experienced on a cruise to mexico

i'm waiting for a flight that i'm ten hours early for so here's some rare 鬼畜 text content . incorrect quotes and imagined scenarios, long post under the cut

starting off with some incorrect quotes

rei: can you walk?

eichi: i think so, i'm much more energetic nowadays-

rei: no you're not. shiratori-kun, get him a wheelchair, we're skipping all the lines at the airport‎‎

‎-

eichi, getting physically patted down by tsa in a small dark room because his wheelchair couldn't go through the full-body scanner and it was too much physical effort to stand up: this is all sakuma-kun's fault

-

aira: tenshouin-senpai! you almost left your louis vuitton designer scarf at the security checkpoint! what if someone had stolen it?!

eichi: thank you, shiratori-kun! but it's fake

-

akatsuki in the elevator with a group of strangers

stranger, in a thick southern accent: so what're y'all up to t'night?

silence

souma stares straight ahead. he thinks the stranger isn't talking to them.

stranger, feeling slightly awkward: so, y'all stayin' in your room?

kuro: um... yeah

-

afterwards

keito: how did he know that our room doesn't have a window

kuro: ???

keito: ??? he said something about our stateroom not having a window like his

kuro: you mean when he asked if we were staying in our room?

-

hokuto: how much money have you spent at the arcade

makoto: uhhhh... i don't know, i'm not good at math

mao: how much did each of the figurine blind bags cost you

makoto: four plays is $4.50 and i get an average of 87 tickets at the piano game. the gachapon is 750 tickets each, and 750 / 87 = around 8.62 plays, and 8.62 x 4.50 / 4 = $9.6975

-

wataru: iiiiiit's..... showtiiiiiime....

yuta: can we leave

hinata: the waiters are dancing now, we can't just leave

one minute later

yuta: can we leave

hinata: i'd love to see you try to leave in this situation

three minutes later

yuta: can we leave

hinata: QUICK THEY STOPPED MAKE A RUN FOR IT

-

jun: i don't like my new haircut

jin, shaking his head knowingly: yeah you shouldn't have cut it on a cruise

jun: i lied. i love my new haircut it means the world to me

-

jun, still struggling to come to terms with his new haircut: now i kind of look like the scaramouche guy from genshin

hiyori: i was thinking more like edna from the incredibles

some people that i encountered!

kaoru as the guy that (successfully) invited one of the waitresses to dance

yuzuru as the sweet lady who asked me how to swipe her room card for the arcade because her son (tori) wanted to play a game

ritsu as my mom who spent most of the time sleeping

rinne as the tour guide that would add "rawr" to the end of his jokes

tsumugi as the poor woman who got stuck in a hammock and had to ask me for help

yuta as my brother who i forced to go on a rusty cable sliding thing you could only hold on to by hand, only for it to get stuck before it reached the middle

hinata as me who dragged the rope attached to the handle and tried to run (on sand) to pull yuta/my brother on the cable slide, only for him to fall (on sand)

rei as the people who watched and laughed

yuzuru as me playing the discord golf game with my friends on vc, only to get screwed over by the lag from cruise wifi

anzu as my friends who were still at home and took this chance to win by miles

makoto as my brother and i when we made one of the arcade machines run out of tickets to dispense three times

makoto as my brother who dominated the entire leaderboard of a piano game with his high scores

tomoya as my mom who was upset that she didn't get to see any flamingos up close

mao as the guest services guy who kept getting interrupted by phone calls that lasted less than 50 seconds

tsumugi as the worker who asked me "do you speak mandarin or chinese?"

adonis as my dad who would only eat meat because "it's more worth it that way"

hiyori as the hair stylist that gave me the scaramouche/edna haircut and kept calling me "madame" and insisted that i trust his vision (he was a lovely guy, i just wanted it more short :()

anzu as my aunts that were constantly trying to video call my mom on wechat, only for the call to disconnect because cruise wifi sucks

mayoi as the dinner waiter that jumpscared my mom on the lunch buffet line

midori as the buffet worker who kept sorting the lettuce leaves by size and color

rinne as the guy at the casino who told a worker he wanted to "have a gambling addiction responsibly"

tori and tsukasa as the little girls who tried to convince their mom to let them eat only cake for lunch

kaoru as the white guy who tried to engage in a conversation with me in the elevator but only made the situation more awkward

souma as the guy who got into an argument with someone (kaoru) over whether the fish he ate was bass or salmon (it was salmon with some bass)

shinobu as the boy who ran up and down the stairs yelling that he was looking for ducks (?)

wataru as the russian lady in charge of the dining room who would loudly whisper "iiiiiit's...... showtiiiiiiime" into a microphone every evening

tomoya as the waiter with a tired, dead inside expression who still had to dance for the russian lady's "showtime"

adonis as the guy that woke up at six in the morning to run laps around the deck for some unknown reason

wataru as the guy who posed for a picture like he was pinching the setting sun

hokuto as the guy taking the picture, but from an angle that made wataru look like he was pinching nothing and standing there stupidly

promo time ~ preorders for the niki's cookbook fanzine are open until march 12! i made some recipes for it, go check it out :)

[flyingsassysaddles]

Firsts

Notes: This is a part of @hetaliawritersdiscord ‘s OTP event! I chose the prompt “Firsts” for this fic!

Fic Notes: Tibet/Mongolia, oneshot, Human AU, Boy Scouts AU

___

 For Munkhbat, it had been a summer of firsts. Not exactly enjoyable firsts, but definitely a lot. For one thing, it was the first time he had camped in a dense American death forest with evil bugs and mosquitoes, and also the first time he went camping with his whole American boy scout troop, filled with frog sniffing, marshmallow flinging idiots. And the first time he actively wanted to get stabbed in the eye so he could go back to TV. 

   Alfred, a perpetually happy go lucky, frog sniffing kid, was humming next to him in the loose circle of  7 to 10-year-old boys around the campfire. Trying to prompt his shy twin to start yet another sing-along, Alfred also jabbed him in the rib and smiled, trying to start a conversation with a mouth full of s’mores. “Why do you look so grumpy?”

   “I miss my TV.” He stared further into the fire, something that probably wasn’t good for his eyesight but was good at evading more questions from hyper American boys.

   “Oh c’mon, camping isn’t all bad. It’s actually really fun!” the American chirped, devouring another marshmallow. “Yesterday I saw a bear!”

   “The sighting of bears does not quench my desire to watch things other than trees and rocks.”

The Tibetan kid who had sitten on his other side, one of only other 4 Asian kids in his troop out of 32, giggled at that comment, and action that caused the grumpy Mongolian to turn away from the fire. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing!” The Tibetan also started staring at the fire, and the Mongolian swore he saw the boy’s cheeks turn red underneath his scarf. Was the fire really that warm? 

“Well..good. I guess.” He too turned back to the fire, starting to wonder if he should grab another marshmallow before the Italian brothers that talked in a funny accent devoured them all. 

“Well, um, it was just that it sounded funny?” The Tibetan kid almost squeaked, like he was forcing the words out. He wasn’t that scary, was he?

“Thank you, I guess.” It was silent for a while, as he worked up a way to leave his comfy spot near the fire and his blanket his mom had burrito-ed him in to grab a marshmallow and bolt back to his seat without losing the seat to an opportunistic boy scout. 

“What are you thinking about?” Snapping out of his escape plan, he drew his attention to the Tibetan boy yet again. 

“Hm? Oh, I’m planning on getting a marshmallow but I’m trying to find out how.” He diligently watched the waiting line for when he should strike. 

“O-oh!” The Tibetan kid exclaimed, smiling for some godforsaken reason. Was marshmallow war amusing to him? “I could get some for you!”

He blinked. “You would?” 

“Sure!” the boy was practically beaming at this point, and Munkhbat felt slightly guilty for calling him ‘boy’ in his head.

“Thank you, um, what’s your name?”

“Tshering! Well, Tshering Palsang is my full name,” Tshering replied. “How many marshmallows do you want?”

“Uh,” he calculated for a second. It probably wasn’t polite to send Tshering on a mission to steal 13 marshmallows. “Just 3, thank you.”

Tshering nodded and left his seat, which Munkhbat silently put part of his blanket over to prevent anyone stealing it. Why was Tshering so interested in helping him? All he remembered from him after Tshering had joined the troop two weeks ago was that he was apparently struck mute whenever he had to talk to another kid and he was strangely good at sewing, from that one class last week. Maybe Munkhbat was just that charming he could get people to offer to do stuff for him spontaneously? Yeah, that was probably it. 

Tshering came back with a handful of marshmallows, giving three to him and sitting down on his seat. “Thanks for saving my seat.”

“Don’t mention it,” Munkhbat replied with a mouth filled with sugary goodness. Man, this was the one good part of camping. 

“You know, in my old troop, we all weren’t allowed to eat candy like this,” Tshering said softly, which Munkhbat’s ears managed to catch.

“Really? That sounds incredibly boring,” He remarked, and Tshering had a surprised look on his face when he heard him reply. 

“Oh, well, I guess it was.” He looked down at the fire again. 

“Where was your old troop?”

“Um, in New York. My dad moved us here to Colorado when he got a job. It’s my first time camping here, actually.”

“Wow,” Munkhbat’s eyes grew big, “New York? That’s awesome! My parents come from Mongolia, they moved here because my mom wanted to or something. I have to help my grandma with English stuff and my mom said that I had to go camping because she used to go with her nomad parents all the time in tents so I need to ‘connect with my culture,’” he rambled, now in a less grumpy mood and even smiling a bit. 

“My grandparents are from Tibet, but I’ve never been there.” Tshering looked at his marshmallow. “I wonder if it's the same as Colorado, my grandma says it has lots of mountains.”

“I’ve never been there either, but hey it’s probably filled with mountains. But less misquotes than Colorado, I bet.” 

“Yeah. Is this your first time camping here too?” Tshering asked, pushing his scarf up as wind raked through the trees. Even in summer the night air bit your skin atop the mountains.  

“Yup. Hey, we have that in common! Hmm,” he tried to think of another thing they could have in common, glad to keep the boringness of the trip in the back of his mind. “Was this trip the first time you saw a bug in your tent?”

Tshering’s eyes lit up. “Yeah!” He was smiling now, leaning back as he thought of his own question, and then leaning back in and saying in a hushed voice, “Is this your first time sleeping in a tent with someone who snores?”

“Oh god yes,” Munkhbat groaned, rolling his eyes. He hated sleeping in a tent with Alfred. Stupid lottery system. “Is this your first time you saw a raccoon prints? And bird tracks that look like a kid made them with a stick?”

Tshering nodded and said with the carelessness they had thrown around in the conversation, “Is this trip the first time you ever had a cru-” The Tibetan stopped himself dead, covering his mouth and cheeks glowing bright red, looking mortified in his green Teen Titans Go scarf. Munkhbat was just confused. Was Tshering going to say crush? No way, there were no girls on the trip, and everyone knew boys couldn’t like boys. At least, that’s what his cousin said. Was he going to say cruise ship? Crutches? 

The silence grew again, this time awkwardly, and Munkhbat tried to save the conversation by saying blatantly, “Actually, I never had crutches.”

The Tibetan boy beside him burst out laughing, glancing over at him with a confused but relieved look. “Y-yeah, me neither. Though I had an arm brace once.”

“Oh wow, you broke your arm? How did that happen?” This questioned prompted a whole series of events and conversation from the two boys as they chatted alongside the campfire, Munkhbat smiling and cheering up from his gloomy state of I’m-going-to-die-in-this-wilderness and Tshering grinning alongside him. 

Alfred, from his new spot he traded with Matthew, glanced at them from his own conversation with the loud-mouthed Italian brother he, unfortunately, sat next to. He noticed how Munkhbat finally looked like he didn’t have a snake in his boots (hopefully, that would mean he would be so judgmental before they went to sleep in their tent), and the way that kid who sat next to him smiled so gently and had such blushing cheeks, grinning as they talked. Huh, Munkhbat would gain another friend and they could add him to their canoe team at the end of the camping trip, Alfred thought. He looked away and back to the Italian, leaving a boy with a crush and a grumpy Mongolian to their conversation about everything.