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innsjovide · 1 year

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some misc thoughts about modern horror (especially indie horror video games & internet horror [such as args and whatnot])

tw for discussion of horror topics obv and also my very biased opinions

[please note that my interests are usually peripheral to this stuff and I don't actually consume almost any of it, but I still have opinions on it bc I am an opinionated bitch]

rant under cut

it seems to me that a lot of modern popular horror media follows the same general trends and themes & that this has been happening for the past decade or so

those themes in question being 'sick and twisted horror under the guise of innocence'

this has always been an element of horror obv its not like fnaf invented the idea of making a children's thing creepy but its definitely had a rise in popularity in the past few years

in part bc of fnaf

and now you see it everywhere, its the most prevailing theme in modern horror media.

its in horrible steam games called 'bimbaps playtime' its in every new arg that comes out its in fucking yandere simulator its in everything you see and because its in everything you see there's nothing else interesting

and yes there are interesting things to do with this concept but when its all that's being done then the amount of things you can do with horror based on children's media

like I genuinely thing having horror based on children's media and this pretense of innocence limits the depth of theme you can actually go into bc ur limited by the aesthetics of 'childrens media but with blood'

bc even when you're twisting it into something dark and evil and horrific its still in some capacity got the trappings of children's media. it's limited by the fact its pretending to be something else and that's ugly

and its not like this sort of theme cant work well I mean. religious horror (which I am a huge fan of always) typically does the same thing but with jesus instead of chuckie cheese but idk it works better IMO there's more u can do

its like. we get it. the children's thing is secretly fucked up bc of whatever reason its seems like theres nothing there its just lame

also body horror gets extremely more lame when its a plush/puppet/toy/whatever instead of an actual human being with actual guts. miss me with all that symbolism shit it just doesn't pack the same punch

the inside of a build-a-bear will never illicit the same visceral reaction as actual legit intestines

[little side note obv horror doesnt need to be gory to be effective but theres something to be said about how the lack of actual violence against humans tones down the horror]

[little side note 2 I am mostly referencing the welcome home arg with this point and also fnaf and those are 2 separate things bc I'm pretty sure that imitation gore is not what the wh creator is trying to do with their story (their project actually seems pretty well written for this genre) and ik fnaf has actual gore but its lame and all kinda the same concept IMO (machine stabs u or whatever) also I hate fnaf and all the terrible things its done to this genre]

these projects seem to be lacking some of the things that make horror such an evocative genre. things such as themes. and social commentary. and things that are actually scary instead of just jumpscares

it all just seems so vacant and stupid and I also hate the culture around having to dig around for the actual secrets of a story. arg culture has done a lot for internet culture and unfortunately that is one of the annoying things. the actual plot of ur thing should not be hidden in ASCII art in the code of ur development blog

idk man I guess I just cant take ur horror concept seriously when the thing I'm supposed to be afraid of looks like a funko pop

the genre just seems so confining rn and I know that's bc this sort of stuff is extremely popular bc it appeals to people who want lighthearted stuff in addition to horror content but its just so fucking. lame.

horror for children is lame and bad. its too violent for children and too simple for adults (at least adults who enjoy actually thought out stories) and all the horror that's really popular rn is. pretty much just horror for children

TLDR

cj innsjovide is pissed off bc modern horror/horror for children lacks themes and stories bc its. for children. also fnaf still sucks

#innsjotxt #rant #not tagging with anything or the fandom bitches Will Get Me #these are very unfiltered unorganized thoughts if I'm still pissed off about this later I might continue it

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jackie-shitposts · 3 years

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*reappears*Da Sam is backk

And I have SANE stuff to talk about.

Don't expect me to make it a habit tho

So I don't like this idea that Wolfe would want to continue the family bloodline and haunt Graham's dreams like come on. It might be the only thing I actively hate in this fandom. He definitely sees Carmen as more than a child incubator and would want whatever is in her best interests.

It's not the redcrackle ppl's fault tho, the most I've seen there is a HC that if Carmen had a son she would name him Dexter. I just ventured into the deep dark depths of tumblr. And reddit. But tumblr is better imo.

This came out longer than expected so baiii

eyyy da sam you are very welcome here yeah, god ive heard about that bloodline bullshit with carmen and graham. i think thats disgusting- Wolfe certainly wasnt a great person but there is no way he just thinks of his child or wife or any women as an incubator. that kind of mentality just wouldn't work in VILE, I believe VILE is super open to discriminated people and doesnt tolerate sexism or any of that sort. I think thats a super small portion of the redcrackle fans- not their fault at all. but, im not a redcrackle fan so i cant tell what their side of the fandom is like. i doubt carmen would name her child dexter- its pretty clear to me she understands wolfe may have been a really bad person, plus she has no emotional attachment to him. be careful with those internet dives, they bring you to...some places. until next time sam, looking forward to the chaos

#i kinda wanna tag this redcrackle #but i wont because that bloodline guy doesnt deserve the satisfaction #bloodline guy? fuck you #redcrackle fans. ur not bad just dont be a sexist piece of shit capiche?

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cynozurka · 3 years

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My notes from watching bo Burnhams inside when I thought it would be a good idea to just write about every song /bit xd

Fixing the world w comedy

I mean it was fine

Some good points

Self aware and all

How oppressors will do performative activism

But also contextualised with his persona its a bit weird

is he scared of becoming that or is he already that

Like he IS doing a bit here and I know that It factors into the whole self awareness debuckle but idk it's a bit iffy to me

Also not really productive i think (yeah I know that's not the point but let me ramble)

You can still educate through comedy and you can do both actually

BECAUSE NEWS FLASH YEAH YOU C A N USE YOUR PRIVELEGE TO HELP AND IT DOESN'T HELP ANYONE THAT YOU THINK IT'S SELFISH

Like idk i understanding where he is coming from but perpetuating that mindset isn't really helpful imo

Facetiming with mom

Too little i think? I mean a fine little song but didn't get much from it

* making a profound experience out of a superficial face time with mom but maybe it has actually become profound, how little we speak to our family kinda, deep shit*

But that's kinda? Known? And not really nuanced at all?

That's how the world works

Well I really liked that one

Bo shows how it depends on the oppressed to be polite to their oppressors (using those terms loosely, the class with power and the powerless etc) to have a slightest chance to be listened to

Like that was a nicely done bit

Also I maybe a bit of critism to "socko" for the not considering educating the character, maybe I'm reading to much into it

I was pleasantly surprised because I thought the special would be kinda epty with half statements and nothing said explicitly

Tho the joke in the contrast of a sock puppet /a children's character telling something unexpected or dark does scream millennial humor

The brand thing

Good but I think it's been done many times before

White woman's ig song

Cool, like the white woman's Instagram concept seems a bit 2017 but it's well done,

Couple interpetations

1how we only show good sides of our life on social media

That one is honestly too simple, been done many times, obvious

2How priveleged for example an American white woman owing the Instagram is not knowing this (is this heaven), the Instagram is very status quo with performative activism, "normal" is priveleged

The bit about the mom either

About venting on social media/furthering the theme that life isn't perfect (basic)

Humanizing, the white woman is still a person

We shouldnt antagonize priveleged people just because (it's actually important to have them on our side, the revolution is about destroying the class divide not creating more (that interpretation is generous tho)

Anyway the song is fine but I felt it could've said more and was a bit style over substance

About the theme of shutting up

Kinda? I mean I understand? But also not really it's important to exchange ideas and that everyone can do it imo, like I think it's a good social change that we can freely (well debatable) say our opinions but maybe it just went in a misquided way and it's just an illusion of everyone telling their opinions when we're still talking about like western world but I might be going to far but I think I know what he's getting at but also hhhhhh

The format of the reaction video seemed a bit condescending at first but I actually find it compelling mostly because I struggle with the same stuff and the cycle of self awareness is very familiar to me and the coping mechanism of saying you know you suck because then you feel you have an advantage over the people who would say that to you but it's not healthy to do that and you're also self aware of that

Bezos

I mean sure

I get it

You can say it had to be short to be punchy and it was just a transition

But also could've been more

Maybe I just prefer essays to poems

When he's laying on the floor and talking abt exploiting children and end with the statement of being horny idk didn't sit right with me I guess we can interpret that as the duality of man kinda thing where the world is so complicated yet we are simple creatures but idk it felt kinda invalidating just the vibe of the bit

A lot of my reactions was kinda like yeah no shit you aren't inventing the weel here

Sexting

As an asexual person it didn't really concern me

Felt outdated and too little and maybe a little not nuanced?

Like sure there were some good observations but also it was a bit too little again i think

Being funny stuck in a room sing

Fine, wanting to be seen as a kid but not as an adult because being seen can be dangerous

I think that was cool

But also idk it's not that funny or clever for me when he shows that he's taking multiple takes, wow who whouve thought people do that

Problematic

I feel nothing about it

I don't want to feel anything about it

Why the belly button close ups tho

The 30 thing

Really sad but also we know it's a performance so it felt a bit weird

The song was fun but like yeah not much said, again, we all know

Welcome to the internet

I mean sure again no shit

But it's a nice song

That funny feeling was very enjoyable actually

Anyway the overall performance is good, it's art and all but also I'm kinda done but also I think I am judging this differently than his previous songs and my judgment is harsher, like they're fine in the grand scheme of things

it was good, sometimes mediocre, overall probably very good and i hated it

not because it hit hard, it didnt really, nothing suprised me, it was just personally uneccassary for me to go through this

But also that's a very personal perspective and I understand how it can be good to other people

Also bo is a big comedian so good that he's talking about stuff like the bit with the sock

Anyway I need a break

#bo burnam inside #Inside #bo burnham

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thedogsled · 6 years

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Hi anonymous gencest person in my inbox! First of all, I wanted to reply to you thoroughly, I just happened to not be online at the time that you sent your first message, and as a result it’s taken a little time to write this reply. You seem to be really hurt by this, but the tone of your message is understanding and kind, and you deserve to be spoken to with the same respect that you did in your messages to me. I’ve put your message under the cut to protect you a little bit (I hope that you find it).

For the folks on my dash, please don’t think this is me jumping back into it. Mostly that’s because, as you mentioned in your message, I feel like everything has gotten very out of hand. The tone of the original conversation changed underneath me, because while my issues were only with tagging, I feel like some people perceived it to be something else. I’d like to clear that up. Ad hominem attacks are always unnecessary, and they derail reasonable conversation. I also think that a lot of this jumped off the back of already raised tensions and preconceptions, and the divisions in fandom are wholly responsible for that. So that’s mostly why I haven’t mentioned it on my blog since the scuffle happened, and why I’m happier putting the rest of this under a cut. I don’t agree with what this turned into (kink shaming, and making genfic people into some sort of commodity to be shot across the battlefield like human cannons), and it’s left a bad taste in my mouth how the whole thing was handled, much as it seems to have done with anonymous.

This post is about that.

Anonymous said:The gencest wank is reaching new levels. Now people on twitter are claiming that participants "support child abuse" (which child?) and are "grooming" other people. There is disagreeing with the ambiguity the term gencest imply and there is straight up calling content creators who just want to write on their favorite characters predators. Now I feel even worse about writing Winchester Gen fic and I'm not even a participant! Are yall even going to care about that?

Anonymous said:(same g*ncest wank anon) Look, nevermind. I dont really expect anything. I was hurt by both sides when I'm at a low point and just wanted to write some S&D gen fic to cheer me up. I came to vent but it wasn't called for. I'm sorry. Have a nice day.

I’m going to start right back at the beginning. This wank started on Twitter, and it’s still continuing over there. I think a lot of the reason why things are never let go of on Twitter is because the format has a toppling effect. With things only loosely dated, and Twitter sending you notifications for things you might have been interested in, it tends to keep fires burning a lot longer. The viciousness of the conversations is one of the reasons why I’m not a very big presence of Twitter myself, not to mention block and let block isn’t considered to be a social default. People just engage with material no matter the consequences, forgetting that other people on the internet are living breathing emoting human beings.

Part of it, too, is Supernatural fandom’s divisions in general. If you look just at the wank that crossed my dash just in the last week - one week! - there’s the gencest wank, wank from old meta writers about new meta writers, wank at people who wish Cas had been in this episode, wank about Danneel--it never ends. And instead of those wanks being considered as separate incidents, they instead build one on top of another, so people come into conversations with a lot of baggage, which they aim at each other in quickfire succession.

It’s not okay. That’s part of the reason why I try and avoid engaging in ‘antis do this, antis do that’ drama, fandom dividing into sides etc. because it’s draining, it’s tiring, and it stops you from doing things you want to be doing. Trust me, I know all about the pain of just wanting to write/draw/reblog so and so, and feeling like you can’t because the fandom is a trash heap. Other multishippers feel the same way, like they can’t reblog content from certain bloggers because it’s only going to cause drama. I haven’t written or drawn anything but Destiel (apart from that one Sabriel fic for the RB last year) since I started this blog, despite being a multishipper at heart myself, because I don’t feel like that content is welcome or will be engaged with.

This fandom cultivates that kind of unwelcomeness, in my opinion, to almost everyone in it. It also prevents people from blogging on their own blog, because again people feel they need to seek out and engage with content (even untagged content) that they disagree with, or they’re not interested with, instead of just blocking it. I like talking about ships, and I like discussing how problematic some of them are. I like discussing dark fic. I like discussing tagging practices, and how to keep people safe from being triggered in a fandom which is full of people carrying their traumas with them. While I like engaging with the dark potential of characters, I do my best not to do so at the expense or harm of others. All of those things lead to conflict, and conflict I avoid so much I don’t end up using my blog as I want to. For example, just last year I got involved in a Megstiel conversation which ended in people saying rude things about me and wearing it as a badge of honor that I blocked them. I like Megstiel. I have RPed it and I like the potential the two characters have with each other. It’s not my OTP, and I’m not a relentless wave of positivity about it, but that’s okay. That’s my opinion, and not an opinion I should have to defend, and it’s okay to block people rather than argue needlessly and spread ill feeling around even more.

Staying out of other people’s opinions didn’t happen, this time. Blocking didn’t happen (the gencest mod did use her block later on, which I wholly support, when I was still following the drama, but the block wasn’t respected. When people log out to get around blocks, it isn’t respectful, and it’s part of what fans the drama higher). Not to mention all this drama came in at peak level because all this fandom is is Us Vs. Them until everyone is in a frenzied final battle situation during every incident. Sometimes the drama is being exacerbated and misrepresented, and there are absolutely trolls trying to stir the other thing to being much worse than it is “for fun”. Fandomwank and the anon comms on Dreamwidth (formerly LJ) and to a certain extent Reddit, love making Tumblr and Twitter fans go at each other, and even if we’re pretty shitty with each other already, that’s being driven and exacerbated constantly by forces unseen.

(Note: People may accuse me of making this up, I suppose, but we’re a powderkeg and people love to start fires. The fake Cas stan on Twitter from this summer is a GREAT example of this, they had Misha’s name in their URL and dropped shit on the writers and cast for a long time just to make people froth at the mouth “How could they say that to Jared” etc. I think people really underestimate how much rubberneckers love drama, and if there isn’t any they will happily start it. That said, a fair amount of drama starts organically, and I’ll concede as much, but if you think cackling supervillains are crazytalk let me introduce you to MS Scribe...)

Rambling about drama aside, because I’m quite passionate about how stupid this fandom gets, I want to get back to your ask. I haven’t touched your actual comments yet, and that does a disservice to them because this drama has genuinely hurt you. Fandom should know that. Their words hurt real people. The bickering hurts real people. It drives people away. It drives people I know away, and it’s hurting this anon as well. It’s like anon says: are we going to care about that? Because we should. We should be making this fandom a better place. We should be mending bridges, not distancing people and telling them their pain doesn’t matter. It matters. At least it matters to me. I want you to know that, anon.

That it matters, that’s why I got so passionate about the tagging issue. We should care for everyone’s comfort in this fandom, and that matters to me too. We shouldn’t shout names at each other. And maybe if people hadn’t been at a default level of at each other’s throats, we could have had a conversation about this. I honestly believe the gencest mod came at this from a reasonable position originally, with no ill intent. I may not have made that clear in my previous posts, but I was determined to give them the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think their definition was even that wrong, given that they weren’t trying to redefine the brodependency, imo. My issues only came from a need for fandom itself to invoke the terms Wincest and incest where necessary to protect the people who seek protection from those terms, who are harmed by it, and blacklist it. So that their blacklists work, and continue to protect them. That’s okay, I think, to ask for that, not at the exclusion of the gencest tag, but alongside it where it’s necessary. Incest isn’t what the exchange is about, as I understand it, but obviously the inclusion of ‘wincest’ in the portmanteau does make the real intent cloudy, and excludes people who might otherwise have been interested in it. You mentioned in your ask that the term was ambiguous, and that was my only issue with it, not whatever it’s gotten turned into, especially if that negativity is explicitly anti-Wincest. If the mod wants to use a term that invokes incest for her non romantic gen fest, then that’s the mod’s prerogative. Re. tagging, I think it matters, but tagging is different to the challenge. I’ve tried to be clear on the difference I feel about it since the beginning.

I think that when you are inside the bubble of a ship, it becomes difficult to see the issues with that ship. Let’s take it outside of the fandom and look at Buffy, for example. The fair and honest truth is that Spuffy is an abusive ship. It was literally abusive, then framed as love, Joss Whedon’s gross projection of being able to creepily stalk women and do whatever he wants to them because ~love~ and the woman will ultimately forgive him for being a ruthless monster and they’ll get together. (coughMarvelcough). It’s my OTP for Buffy, but it is what it is. In SPN fandom, Wincest has a similar problem, because it’s been around right since the beginning of the show, and there’s some people I feel who have forgotten that it’s an incest ship, you know, and forget that other people don’t say “It’s just incest” in real life. Only on the internet. (The response to poor Jason Fisher’s defense of Superwiki from the GA made that disconnect really clear to me. The GA literally have no idea why this show would defend incest, because how we speak about incest within fandom is wholly different to how it’s discussed in the real world.)

That said, boy oh boy. I’m about to open a whole other can of worms here.

Wincest folks get constantly attacked. Like I said, it’s an incest ship, and between the GA and people who are triggered by it and purity culture, you’ve got these people who just wanna write their ship and they’re constantly on the toe of everyone’s boot getting a right kicking. I’m not going to argue about the moral rights and wrongs of writing incest, because it’s none of anyone’s business. Writing incest isn’t a gateway drug to performing it any more than if you write stories about murder that’s what you’re setting up to do next yourself. No matter why someone writes it, generally speaking that’s between them and their catharsis. People get uppity about other people’s ships and kinks when they should stay in their own lanes, really.

Tagging is the key to that. Acknowledging your ship has issues and then making sure you tag those issues responsibly. That’s important. It protects us. It protects me when I write darkfic. It protects people who write darkfic because they’re survivors, and helps people to deal with those things when it’s tagged properly, when it’s given the name of what it is, rather than sanitized. That’s my issue with gencest as a tag (not as a fest), because it felt like sanitized incest. You need to call that what it is. You need to identify it. Your older brother climbing into bed with you naked and without permission isn’t gen. To some people within the ship, the identification of it is half the battle. When we tag considerately, we are being kind to people we don’t know, as well as protecting ourselves. Tags make fandom better and safer.

With the way things have unrolled, it’s made it so engaging in either fest seems like picking sides. That’s not okay. That’s not just this battle; this is just another casualty of the whole ship war, something which has sucked the fun out of many things people enjoy doing, and driven many many people out of fandom. I’m sorry that this one hit when you were already feeling so low, not least because we all deserve to have nice things. Fandom is supposed to be the place to go to when life is shitty, to give you fun and relief. It’s not meant to feel like getting sent back to the trenches. Not for anyone.

We need to mend our bridges. We need to keep making our content, and stop seeing it as ride or die. We need to keep our nasty opinions to our own blogs and stop calling each other names when we don’t agree. We need to stop seeing blocking as unreasonable behavior and not proper curation. We need to stop raiding ship tags for wank, or dumping our crap on other ship’s tags in the first place. We need to give more people the benefit of the doubt, and engage on conversational levels about out fandom and our ships. We need to call out issues from within our own fandom, so when drama is getting splashed around we need to say “hey, they have a bit of a point, here, maybe we can talk reasonably about it”. We need to stop shadowboxing with an enemy we think is the boogeyman, when in reality we’re punching real people in the face. We need to tag proactively, and kindly, and keep our fandom corners clean so that when people come to visit we can say “hey, we take our tagging really seriously, you can’t call us out on it.” That’s the fandom I want to be a part of.

Most of all we need to be kind to each other. Be better. For this anon and for everyone else who’s ever been hurt by fandom. Enough shittiness is enough.

To anon. I’m sorry you’re hurting. It fucking sucks, and I’m so sorry things got driven to the point they have now. I’m sorry you got stuck in the middle of it. That said, I want you to write. I want to read your content. Shippy or not, I love the relationship that Sam and Dean have, and seeing all parts of it, fluffy and dark and codependent and cute and playful and snarky. I love G rated fic as much as I love dark NC-17 fic, and I don’t care for people who gen shame, like fic isn’t interesting if it doesn’t have sex in it. Screw that noise. I hope you write. I want you to write. As part of a challenge or not. I hope you will. Everyone I’ve spoken to about this tells me they want more gen S&D content.

You, and anyone else, are welcome to send me any content you want, any time you like. I don’t reblog NC-17 content that isn’t under a cut, or content that attacks other fans, but you can send me any ship, anytime - anyone who loves any ship in this crazy fandom, regardless of what circle of affiliation you usually sit with - and I’ll share your content. With the right tags, of course! We don’t have to be this dysfunctional with each other. We can cooperate and coexist.

To anon: write it. Write it just for you. Write it to make yourself feel better, and write it to stick it in the eye of everyone who’s made you feel bad about it. When you feel powerless, doing it anyway is the power that you have, and you don’t need anyone to give it to you; it’s yours entirely.

I’m sorry this took me so long to post back to you. As you can see I wrote a little more than I initially expected to, and it took a while. If it makes you feel even a little bit better to read it, then it was worth it.

Thanks so much for your ask, for your patience, and for your respect. I hope next time you want to drop me an ask, it’s in happier times.

#dogsled replies #wank for ts #incest mention for ts #this is a multiship blog #ship and let ship #purity culture can eat my whole entire ass #but tagging is important

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janiedean · 6 years

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Oh? Oh! Now me moved to suicide bait, like we don't know except for a few hate-filled messages and she's telling you she's going to kill herself? Like I don't know, but yelling at random people on the internet isn't going to attract empathy? (And ++ for Bruce Springsteen, can I have some analysis too? Hum... You're a.. Hum.. A bad woman! A very bad woman! And you're Italian! Does it count as anon hate?)

you're a poop head ( this is me trying to get you to give us that sweet bruce springsteen content by sending you hate )

these were two anons but it’s 11 pm and I can’t do two analyses lmao

OKAY GUYS, SINCE ANOTHER ANON ASKED A FEW DAYS AGO, HAVE ONE OF MY FAVORITE UKNOWN BRUCE SONGS!

youtube

Shut Out The Light is an outtake from 1984′s Born in the USA, which eventually ended up being the b-side on the BITUSA single 45′, and finally published to everyone’s happiness in the box set Tracks in 1998 but played live in other occasions. It’s from the Nebraska/BITUSA era, and it’s another Bruce songs focusing on the Vietnam war question.

As in BITUSA, we have another veteran coming home, but differently from the previous song, he’s just come back and hasn’t tasted the whole variety of rejections he’ll have from society yet. But, differently from BITUSA as well, it touches on other issues. Let’s get into it!

The runway rushed up at him as he felt the wheels touch downHe stood out on the blacktop and took a taxi into townHe got out down on Main Street and went into a local barHe bought a drink and found a seat in a corner off the dark

So, again we have the cinematic opening - this could be right out of a movie: you can imagine visually the protagonist (who is a he, not an I differently from BITUSA) getting off the airplane and goes back home in the taxi and instead of going home goes to get a drink. Actually, this has a lot of interesting choices because he buys a drink and wants a seat in a corner in the dark, so he tries to not take space and he doesn’t want to be seen, and rather than meeting his family, he goes to have a drink.

Spoilers: our guy has issues. Now, let’s move on:

Well she called up her mama to make sure the kids were out of the houseShe checked herself out in the dining room mirrorAnd undid an extra button on her blouseHe felt her lying next to him, the clock said 4:00 amHe was staring at the ceilingHe couldn't move his hands

Here we moved to presumably the man’s wife. She leaves the children with her mother - because she wants some private time with her man, or because she’s worried about something else? probably the first, though, because then she takes the time to pretty herself up and open the button on her blouse, as in, she’s trying to look more attractive for him after they haven’t presumably seen each other for a long time.

So: they presumably have sex - she’s lying next to him - but he can’t go to sleep, and he’s staring at the clock at four in the morning and then at the ceiling and can’t move his hands, which suggests he might have sleep paralysis or something of the kind, which is also a consequence of trauma, and actually, as we go into the refrain, we have the confirmation:

Oh mama mama mama come quickI've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sickThrow your arms around me in the cold dark nightHey now mama don't shut out the lightDon't you shut out the lightDon't you shut out the lightDon't you shut out the lightDon't you shut out the light

Spoilers: this guy has ptsd. Bad ptsd. Very poetically put, but:

he wants his mother to come to him (calling for your mother is like, your basic instinct because she’s the person you should technically be closest to as the person who brought you up and raised you and birthed you);

he has the shakes and he’s gonna be sick (could be triggered panic attacks, flashbacks, dissociating - obviously it’s not detailed because it’s a song and not the DSM, but the symptoms are there);

he wants his mom to hold him (actually: throw her arms, so doing it almost violently) in the cold dark night (a situation that sounds fairytale-scary);

and he wants her to not shut out the light - ie he doesn’t want to be with the lights turned off because the darkness triggers memories (if you read any vietnam memoir you know that they hated night stake outs because they couldn’t see shit and they could be ambushed at any time).

So: the entire refrain is about how he has bad ptsd and he’s not handling it even if he’s trying to keep it under control, this just after he comes back from Vietnam.

Established that:

Well on his porch they stretched a banner that said "Johnny Welcome Home"Bobby pulled his Ford out of the garage and they polished up the chromeHis mama said "Johnny oh Johnny, I'm so glad to have you back with me"His pa said he was sure they'd give him his job back down at the factory

So: this guy got at least a welcome home party and we know now he’s named Johnny (reference to When Johnny Comes Marching Home? MAAAYBE SO) and that he has a best friend named Bobby who drags the car out of the garage (so he hasn’t driven it since Vietnam and no one else has) and tries to do a nice thing for him by polishing it and they can do something normal. Johnny’s mother - the one he wants at night - is happy to see him and she’s glad he survived, while his father discusses his job (mind it - the mom is worried about him being back at all, the father is worried about Johnny’s employment, as the One Who Things Mostly About Work In The Family as we already see is a recurring theme). And mind: he’s sure Johnny will get back his factory job (so, another unskilled worker who got drafted while poor) which as we know from history and the follow-up songs, Johnny will most likely not get.

Which sounds nice, except that then we go back into the refrain and nothing has changed - welcome party or nor, bff with the car or not, job or not, Johnny still isn’t okay at night and still doesn’t want the light turned off.

After the refrain, we get into the last part:

Well deep in a dark forest, a forest filled with rainBeyond a stretch of Maryland pines there's a river without a nameIn the cold black water Johnson Leneir standsHe stares across the lights of the city and dreams of where he's been

Now we have the name and surname of the guy - Johnson Leneir. He could be with his wife and family (the kids out of the house) but instead where is he? A deep dark forest, filled with rain, as in... a forest that could match Vietnam’s since again, Vietnam is filled of rainy forests and it was where most of those people have to fight. He’s in Maryland, but beyond its stretch there’s a river without a name, so the river in Maryland (if it’s there at all) or the land beyond that stretch of land is a river in Vietnam - a lot of the people there didn’t necessarily know the names of where they were or knew where they were being sent - and the negative association is made by describing the water of that river as cold and black, which are hardly words with positive connotations. Also, he stands in the cold black water as in he walks into the river same as he might have done in Vietnam (there’s a similar scene in Tim O’ Brien’s If I Die In a Combat Zone and idk if Bruce read it but it was published in ‘73 so he could absolutely have), so he can’t detach himself from that experience but at least he’s not risking death by re-interpreting it.

Then: he stares across the lights of the city - a place he’s cut away from when he should belong there, and that’s to say he’s not belonging even with the bff and the supportive family and the beautiful wife, when instead he can’t help going into the woods and the cold dark river because he can’t leave Vietnam behind, and dreams of where he’s been, as in - as I said: he thinks he’s back in Vietnam or he thinks back about Vietnam and he can’t leave that behind him, and again the refrain doesn’t change -- he still doesn’t want the lights turned off, he still wants his mother, he still has the shakes, he still will be sick at least for the foreseeable future, because the war fucked him up and he’s not well and he won’t be until he gets help.

Will he turn into the guy from BIUSA? Given that this song is its b-side in the single, COULD DEFINITELY BE A POSSIBILITY. Will he get his life straight? We just don’t know, but here we have in three short, simple vignettes a full-on picture of someone who came back from a war traumatized that we can identify with as it concentrates not on his war experience but on things we all can relate to (the wife, the kids, the parents, the best friend with the car, wanting your mother when you’re afraid), which shows that Bruce can write a fucking song even if he wasn’t in the guy’s shoes personally (he got a 4F and GOOD FOR US ALL), and this in an historical moment where people pretended Vietnam never happened. I personally kind of wish he published it properly before 1998 because it’s a gem imo, but it did come to light outside being the single b-side and IT’S A GORGEOUS SONG AND I STAND BY IT.

#bruce springsteen #here guys have some <3333 #ty ilu #Anonymous #ask post

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whataboutthepress-blog · 7 years

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lit literature ~

A quote that I’ve taken interest in states that books are one of the best companions, better than people maybe.

“Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.”

-Charles William Eliot (former Harvard president)

Basically you can find the best book ever and it literally becomes apart of you! It is in fact a beautiful union. Imagine finding your soul in print on paper shredded from trees bond together tighter than your lips go when you read about your favorite character doing a bad deed. My list ain’t that deep; that’s not what this is.

But what I am here for is the Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen that i did promise.

What is Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen ?

Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen is a few books i read this summer of 2017 in my spare time. In between work and building other things in my life, i was able to knock out about 5 books, including a book of 4 short stories. This is nothing flashy. Probably books you've read already. But still...enjoy! There may be one that catches your eye.

Circa June of this year, i was without a laptop and needed access to the internet. So like a regular citizen of a big city, i went to my local library and signed up for a library card. It started to be for computer purposes only, but im an avid reader (fan of recommended and passed on books) so it wasn’t very long before i made my way from the unreliable computer to the welcoming bookshelf. My love for literature runs deep! With that being said, I’m so happy to share my very first reading list, formally titled ‘Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen’ .

I began my summer reading “Faithful” by Alice Hoffman. Faithful was one of three books I checked out at my first visit (the first visit to the library that was strictly for finding book companions). During that book-blind-date experience, i also checked out a mystery fiction book that I can’t recall and some other less interesting book i misjudged due to my lack of judging books by their cover.

Faithful not only made my summer list, but also made my ‘all time fave’ list. (Yall will never see that list because i doubt I’d ever write it.) This book spoke to me so clearly. I picked it up that day at Kendall Neighborhood library less of any expectations. It turned out to be one of the most relative pieces of literature in my life thus far. Faithful is about a young girl getting into a bad accident with her best friend in their final year of high school. The accident ends up leaving the young lady’s friend in a coma for a very long time. There are many other vital details, but i was able to relate mostly to the depression the main character endured. No, i havent never been in a life changing wreck, but i deal with issues daily that add to my depression. This book gave me hope. It lit a fire in my soul and i now feel i have an everlasting flame. Alice Hoffman spoke to me, personally, through this novel. I would recommend Faithful to anyone that is somebody. To anyone who ever wondered how deep depression goes. To anyone who’s ever felt alone in a dark world and to anyone who’s ever needed lifting. READ DIS.

Book number two on SRL2KS is an absolute classic, and you may have already read it! The timeless “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” by the late and great Ms Maya Angelou. This was a first time read for me and actually a venture from my newfound library relationship. A good friend of mine received this Non Fiction paperback book from his niece, and I began reading it before he could even pick it up. Once i began to read and learned Angelou spent many years of her childhood being raised in Stamps, Arkansas, there was no quittin’ this book.

I purposely chose this version of the cover because this is the exact one that i had in my possession. This is the story of young Angelou’s childhood alongside her brother. Raised by their grandmother (on the daddy side, you know how that go) and their uncle, Maya and her brother go through much in this detailed story of stories. Focusing on the trials and tribulations of young Maya, i would recommend this book for my young ladies. This is a must read for women all over the world honestly. Reading the hurtful and happy can grant one a new view on life and a few decent quotes to live by too.

Next on the great SRL2KS, i explored more African American authors! I found, what i would consider, a short story by a young adult/youth literature writer named Ms Jacqueline Woodson. The novel titled “Another Brooklyn” is a specially written story about a young, black Muslim girls childhood. This is not a religious story nor is it a kids book. It speaks on a young girl growing up around other girls and making a close knit bond. The girls grow together and the story continues to follow the young black girl and her little brother after they begin to reside with their father in Brooklyn, New York.

Woodson speaks and describes the bond of the girls so well to me, in a way i dream of expressing my thoughts. I took note of how she talked about them loving and lifting each other just to remember to share this novel with my daughter one day. I wont ruin the end, but everything wasn’t peaches and cream. With that, I still recommend this novel to young women everywhere (not only women of color). It’s short, so it won’t take up much of your time, but it’s still nice to knock out a book by an AA author at any given time for me.

Completely and fully inspired by “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sing”, my next book is another Maya Angelou non fiction. “Mom and Me and Mom” is Maya expanding on her relationship with her mother, an exceptional woman mentioned in my first read by Maya many times. I too had a close relationship with my mother, so it was easy for me to pick this book up with an open heart. "Mom and Me and Mom” expands on a series of short, less detailed stories mentioned in IKWCBS. I was able to get to know Maya’s mother more and get an in depth point of view of their relationship. I can never think about this book and not think of my own mom lol.

This isn’t a must read IMO if you’ve read IKWCBS, but i still recommend this one for the lovers, like myself. If you love that warmer than fresh baked cookies feel or you absolutely admire your mom (again, meee), you’d enjoy a heartwarming story about an adventurous young woman and her ambitious mother. I loved this book!

In the summer of Seumteen, i aspired to learn. I took an interest into sign language which led to me looking into sign lit (sign language books lol) ! In the mist of it all, i did of course continue my reading *Stevie J nod*

My last and final book on my marvelous Summer Reading List 2 Kay Seumteen is by one of my all time favorite authors, Stephen King. My favorite book in the whole world was written by King under a different name. (I completely refuse to elaborate on my favorite book for future blog reasons) “Full Dark, No Stars” is just another opportunity for me to fall in love with King’s writing more. After reading this book of four short stories, I vowed to take advantage of all the Stephen King books at Ring Library, the local joint. Ring is a small facility, so it will take me no time to read the 8-10 Stephen King books they shelter. Also, things change when it comes to what the library has on shelf.

In “Full Dark, No Stars”, King starts with a story about a man and his son in the 1920s having to make a tough decision that ends up creating a string of events you’d least expect. This story was one of my favorite of the four because it was rated Stephen King, or gruesome and skin crawling, and also humors under all the unfortunate events. The second story is a tale of a woman who is attacked while she is stranded roadside after not following her gut. In the drawn out story, the young lady seeks revenge, but the inside sleeve of this book will never prepare you for how deep the revenge goes. The third is pretty short and the biggest reach! A tale of a man who has been dealt a somewhat sad deal of cards. The father and husband is given the opportunity of a life time: to relieve his life of misery. Of course there is a condition or to this...other than the obvious cash money, the character’s genie also requests that this man allows his burdens to be placed on the one person he hates the most. The story pretty much left me speechless, in a questionable way. Lastly was my favorite of the four. An interesting story of a woman discovering the past and somewhat current life of her husband. The story has a twist that i didnt exect or regret. It really makes you wonder if you really know people too! I confidently recommend this book to readers with an imagination thats willing to get twisted. Stephen King never fails at making me grin after i turn the last page of his novels. This read was so good, i’m inspired to do a King binge and best believe a blog will follow :)

In review, take a peek at

Faithful by Alice Hoffman I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson Mom and Me and Mom by Maya Angelou Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King

Enjoy, my fellow readers. And look out.

#readinglist #summerreading #summerreadinglist #summerreading2kayseumteen #summerreading2k17 #summerreading2017 #reading #stephenking #mayaangelou #alicehoffman #jacquelinewoodson #stephen king #maya angelou #alice hoffman #jacqueline woodson #iknowwhythecagedbirdsings #i know why the caged bird sings

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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Your July Horoscope Is Here and Thinks You’re Doing Great, Sweetie

https://fashion-trendin.com/your-july-horoscope-is-here-and-thinks-youre-doing-great-sweetie/

Your July Horoscope Is Here and Thinks You’re Doing Great, Sweetie

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for the excessive exclamation points, but I’ve heard that the artist formerly known as “repel-o-scopes” inhabits one of the few cheerful, sunshiney corners of the internet — the kind where you can feel free to make a mini horse reference, which is usually the only kind worth making, imo.

Amelia already clued you in that someone would be hijacking hers and Susan Miller’s well-oiled machine this month, but allow me to officially introduce myself. I write the monthly astrology-meets-personality columns on Man Repeller that you know and love (or that you never read and don’t care for. Whatever. I’m a Leo and I never get offended. I also never bring up the fact that I’m a Leo, like, ever).

If you do know me at all, you know that I think the stars are my dearest friends and that astrology, in its most basic essence, is a vehicle for self-discovery. Full disclosure, I wholeheartedly love anything that claims to know me on an unreachable molecular level. (I’m an INFJ, in case you were wondering.) I also ask this question whenever I meet someone new: If you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be? Hmu in the comments with your answer and let me know your zodiac sign as well for an extremely un-scientific study I’m working on. Hint: Every Cancer I’ve ever met has reminded me of lychee.

I may not know as much as our friends at AstrologyZone, but I do know that by the end of July, FIVE PLANETS will be in retrograde, so you may be needing guidance. Let’s get into it.

Cancer

Speaking of lychee: throw some into a flute with peach juice and sparkling wine and you’ve got yourself an Instagram-ready birthday cocktail!!! Drink a few and document the whole experience. You deserve it.

You also deserve a fun-filled birthday month, wherein you hear the phrase “ask and you shall receive” aplenty. Luckily, that’s exactly what the planets are poised to give you! Since Cancer is ruled by the moon, you will float through July largely unaffected by the multiple retrogrades; instead, on the 13th, your floating rock in the sky will give you a little birthday present in the form of a new moon.

New moons offer new perspectives, fresh starts and opportunities for personal rejuvenation. When a new moon hangs out in the Cancer constellation, it’s even more sensitive to your needs and emotions, which makes this one especially powerful. In other words: cancel plans and treat yourself. I won’t tell you to grab a bath bomb and settle in with a candle or two, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

We’re not done yet! More good news aplenty!!! (I’m really into that word right now.) The 5th is a good day to flirt up a storm, since you’ll be getting a boost from lucky Jupiter and magnetic Scorpio. Your charms will be downright irresistible and it would honestly be rude not to take advantage. (If you’re already in a relationship: so? You can still flirt up a storm.) Plus, you’ll be able to pull off any look, so throw on some lingerie and a maybe some dad sneakers, if you’re into that kind of thing.

Leo

Hey fellow sun babies! It’s not our time to shine just yet, although I know we all hate hearing that. I guess technically, for a Leo, it’s always time to shine. This is especially true if you’ve been using this summer to indulge in some bright orange highlighter and bejewled eye lewks, which I think you should.

You probably already know this, but the start of Leo season on the 22nd will bring a rush of white-hot energy. You may not know that shortly after, the 26th might put a damper on your plans to enlist your squad to photograph you in various thirst trap poses by the pool. That’s right, folks: Mercury turns retrograde in Leo at the end of this month and everything will be ruined.

Just kidding! As the old saying goes (?), a little retrograde doesn’t get a lion down. You’ll probably just feel a bit extra frustrated by flaky friends and a bit more sensitive when it comes to criticism. It’s important to remember, especially when Mercury retrograde welcomes an overflow of miscommunication, not to take everything so personally. Go ahead and delete that Slack message to your boss because responding to your email with “sounds good” and no punctuation does not mean that she’s mad at you.

Virgo

Crack open that Febreze ‘cause you’ll be the life of the party this month! By “life,” of course, I mean the caring, responsible voice of reason and by “ party” I mean July’s petri dish of emotional upheaval. It’s a good thing you always carry hand sanitizer, tissues and a label maker because July might get messy (for everyone else).

For you, dear Virgo, July will see your relationships thrive. On the 10th, you will welcome Venus into your midst and she is one saucy minx. Venus is the planet of love, affection, beauty, harmony and — excellent news! — she is sailing straight through the sky. No retrograde nonsense here! People will gravitate towards you during this time, asking for advice or perhaps a shoulder to cry on.

Now enough about everyone else, let’s focus on your own specific agenda (I know, I know, I’ll stop flirting. I know you love a good plan). On the 12th, you’ll be promotion-level productive, so make sure you have plenty of coffee at your disposal. You’ll feel the urge to work on the 14th but it’s a Saturday so put the damn computer down and go for a walk; this is actually a great day to be personally productive, so call your mom or enjoy a date night. The 22nd will be the best of all, but it’ll also be full of surprises, so I can’t tell you why.

Libra

There aren’t any fun zodiac-themed greetings for Libras because what kind of cute joke can you make about scales? Who decided that Libra would be the only sign represented by an inanimate object? If I were one of you, I would sue. (Also notable: When I began to search “why is Libra represented by an object” the first thing to auto-fill was “why is Libra the best sign,” which, true.)

But anyway, hey! You cuties can pretty much kick back this month. Nothing’s floating in or around your aura, and your ruling planet is hanging out with Virgo, which will have a significant chilling effect on your loud-ass mental whirrings. Three cheers for a good night’s sleep!

Not to sound like your mom or your money-tracking app, but the beginning of July would be a great time to balance your budget. Jupiter’s final days of retrograde will seriously impact your impulse control. Since you already gravitate towards pretty things and warm weather can feel like an invitation for an all-new wardrobe, this is a good time to practice financial restraint — mostly because you’ll probably fail, but at least you’ll have some perriwinkle hoop earrings that you bought on sale to comfort you.

One expense the stars will encourage this month is travel. Quit eyeing that ridiculously cheap round-trip flight to Paris and grab a baguette instead! You probably can’t take it on the plane but, you know, it’ll get you in the mood.

Scorpio

My regrettable ex-boyfriend is a Scorpio which leads me to believe that you’ll be causing trouble this month, but I would say that every month, so I’ll try to put my personal biases aside for now (even though everyone has an ex who’s a Scorpio; it’s kind of your thing).

On the 10th, Jupiter will leave retrograde and that is such good news. It’s especially fortunate for you since Jupiter has been hanging out with the cluster of stars that allegedly resembles a scorpion, so you’ll probably feel a sudden wave of confidence and electricity. This is an excellent time to take risks and watch them pay off — right in front of your very eyes! Be bold with your propositions and you may just find yourself on a date around the 22nd. If romance doesn’t interest you right now, get your friends together and indulge in a heart-to-heart. Venus’ understanding, compassionate energy will be on your side.

Also, a word of caution: I said “take risks” and “be bold” but I did NOT say “act without thinking” and “be impulsive.” Jupiter’s morale boost will last for some time, so don’t rush into anything! July’s blessings will come in the form of a slow burn, so chill out as much as you can. Drive around at twilight and blast Drake, as you are wont to do. His brand new album Scorpion has 25 freaking songs which is, length-wise, basically the rapper’s version of Avengers: Infinity War, so you don’t have to worry about getting bored. Plus, there’s a track called “Emotionless” AND one called “In My Feelings,” so if this isn’t a Scorpio’s ideal soundtrack of extremes then idk what is. Bottom line, marinate with your options before hopping on a flight to Vegas and betting it all on black 15 (…just my ex? No? Okay).

Sagittarius

Alright my celestial equestrians, you can finally stop tripping over your own feet and succumbing to bottomless YouTube spirals wherein you watch “RIP Vine” compilations on a loop. Jupiter is FINALLY figuring itself out on the 10th, and as your ruling planet, it owes you a personal apology when it does.

Sagittarius is a naturally lucky sign — thanks in large part to Jupiter, the planet of luck, expansion, celebration and encouragement. Having Jupiter watch over you is like having an internal treasure map. So its retrograde was probably super frustrating for the archers of the world because it slows everything down; it causes dreams to sputter and ideas to be questioned.

The 10th, then, will be like a breath of fresh air. It will also bring a ton of financial benefits. I might even advise you to invest if I knew anything at all about investing. Jupiter’s remaining placement in Scorpio and the second house seems to suggest that you may come into some money through inheritance or insurance…..but that has the potential to seem pretty dark so let’s forget I even brought it up. If you suddenly find a wad of cash in your underwear drawer, I wouldn’t question it. July is all about infuriatingly unwavering optimism.

Capricorn

I should let you know up front that I have an inexplicable soft spot for Capricorns, so what I’m about to tell you hurts me more than it hurts you. But try to look on the bright side: A Leo (me) loves you with all her heart, and that should feel like the sun is giving you a hug!!!

Pluto is still in retrograde and it’s still trying to drag you out into its reject outer orbit. Being the planet of change and transformation, Pluto retrograde in Capricorn is a particularly tumultuous time — especially at work or within traditional family dynamics. If you’ve recently felt the urge to withdraw, you’re not alone.

Tread particularly lightly on the 12th, when Pluto picks a fight with the sun in Cancer. Both placements care deeply about the domestic sphere, but in opposition, their brief squabble will increase sensitivity and concern; you may be left feeling unmoored and insecure. Reach out to friends for support and resist the temptation to lash out at family members.

OKAY, back to the fun stuff! You didn’t think I’d leave you on that gloomy note, right? On the 14th, I’ll bet that you get a note or bouquet from a secret admirer or something. Romantic and furtive forces are afoot, colluding for your benefit. Then on the 28th, all your secret fuzzy feelings will be validated when Venus swoops in to offer you a grand gesture. Remember to be open and vulnerable and accept love with an open heart!! (And I’ll remember to sign the card on your bouquet this time!)

Aquarius

I don’t typically like to swear when I’ve been hired to produce something in a ~professional capacity~ but HOLY SHIT this is YOUR MONTH. The blood moon on the evening of the 27th and morning of the 28th will be the LONGEST LUNAR ECLIPSE IN A CENTURY and if that doesn’t make you want to swear and type in caps lock then you’re not a real Aquarius!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you’re not in the eastern hemisphere, you won’t be able to see this astral phenomenon, but I guarantee that you’ll be able to feel it. This will probably be a day full of surprises, unexpected happenings and unconventional behavior. In other words, this is an environment where the water bearers thrive. It may also be a day of endings, but not in a sad way — if you’ve been waiting for “the right time” to let go of whatever is hurting your heart, unconsciously or otherwise, this lunar phase boasts fertile, encouraging soil.

Also, if you’ll allow me to rewind a bit, the 5th is the perfect day to tell someone to fuck off (I’ve already sworn for you once, I may as well get it out of my system now). Mercury in Leo is about to square up with Mars in Aquarius, combining the explosive powers of honesty and action. You’ll get a little riled up — but in an understandable, righteous way — and whatever you’re mad about, I think you should go with it. How often do you get to rightfully put someone in their place and justify it with a horoscope?

Pisces

Oh boy, my fishy friend, here’s the deal: You’ll be dealing with a double-whammy in the nostalgia department for a little while. Your ruling planet, Neptune, is home in Pisces and that probably feels comforting, albeit a little overwhelming — like how it might feel if your mom crashed on your sofa for a couple weeks. You may love the taste of familiar home-cooked meals from childhood, but your emotional barometer is extra sensitive.

On top of that, Neptune sailed into retrograde on June 18th (as is the theme with fickle planets this month), and you’re probably still adjusting to its effects. Before we get in any deeper, I’d like to get a few things out of the way: don’t text your ex; don’t question the decision to quit the job that you literally left months ago; don’t look at your “On This Day” memories on Facebook.

In general, don’t get lost in romanticism or reveries — particularly on the 8th, because someone from your past is going to reemerge and I can’t promise that entertaining their sweet nothings will leave you with anything except an empty bottle of wine and half-finished cheese plate. Entertaining guests isn’t always satisfying.

But you know what else is gonna experience a resurgence in July? Yes, the Mission: Impossible franchise, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, your reputation! I know that sounded like a backhanded compliment, but I promise I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant that the 24th will bring a bright moment of clarity. Whatever has been holding you back will feel suddenly more manageable, and people will notice your surge of focus, motivation and creativity.

Aries

Not to sound like a total downer, but this month won’t be a walk in the park for the rams of the world. Mars retrograde, which only happens about once every two years, is upon us for the entire month and it just won’t leave us alone!!!!!!!!

Mars’ moonwalk through the sky generally causes sluggishness and lack of motivation. If this just sounds like a regular summer slump, don’t be fooled: you may notice projects or relationships that fizzle to a finish for no reason at all. This retrograde spares no mortal but because Mars rules Aries, you will feel its effects more than the average human (but then again, you feel most things more than the average human, you fiery little wingnut. Love you!).

I’m not just here for the bad news, however! I’m here for Mars retrograde as an opportunity to scale back and reevaluate. You’ll probably feel more patient; more inclined to think things through before jumping in, horns first. Rams tend to be “Go, Diego, Go!” but under the scorching summer sun, this is the perfect time to recharge: pop on a pair of tiny sunglasses, throw on some lime green pants and head to the beach instead! You have the planets’ permission.

Taurus

I assume you are familiar with a little term that’s been making the Twitter rounds recently: Big Dick Energy. If so, I would like to applaud and apologize simultaneously. The former because, congratulations, you are plugged into internet culture! The latter because, honestly, I am not entirely convinced the former is a good thing. And also because BDE has forced me to consider the sexual magnetism of people I’ve never wanted to, from Pete Davidson to Troy Bolton’s father (although, to be fair, also some people whose sexual magnetism I think about daily, like Rihanna).

That wasn’t entirely relevant to the task at hand, I just wanted to make it known that Taurus is the sign that most obviously and commonly exudes BDE in the zodiac. Okay, back to the real news.

So on the 12th, your ruling planet Venus — which is hanging out with your fellow earth sign Virgo — will mingle with Uranus — which is currently hanging out with you, Taurus — and I know that sounds complicated but I’ve got the spicy breakdown. Things are gonna heat way the hell up, you will feel sexy and your BDE will reach its greatest and most powerful frequency (now you see why I had the acronym on my mind! It’s all coming together!!).

It’s natural to feel a little frustration on the 25th, when your desire to be seen and desire to hide will reach a maddeningly similar level. One-on-one intimacy will serve as your middle ground, an island of comfort in the midst of inner chaos. Okay, I’m making this sound more dramatic than it is. Just avoid parties and call your best friend.

Gemini

This is unrelated to your horoscope, but I was just looking at photos of Mary-Kate and Ashley and feeling resentful that their transcendent power has been overshadowed by their departure from “the grid.” I have a Gemini moon and I still feel their twin influence (twinfluence? I’ll show myself out) every single day.

As usual, since you are a chatty little star child, Mercury retrograde will hit you like a ton of meteorites (“a ton of bricks” feels too mundane for our purposes). Mercury is your ruling planet, so it sucks that it’s the planet most often working in reverse — but it’s also kinda cool because Sage the Gemini’s banger “Reverse” works for you on multiple levels at various points throughout the year. Everyone loves a playlist staple!

This retrograde starts on the 25th, which is a Monday, so try to get important work done before that. In fact, if you have any vacation days saved up, just get lost that week and we’ll touch base again in August. I think we’d all prefer to be left alone by the Geminis in our lives as they adjust to the first five days of Mercury’s pre-medieval torture.

Luckily, pre-retrograde July will treat you well. You may even be offered a job, a raise or some kind of promotion, so keep those peepers peeled for opportunities to strut your stuff (as if you don’t already).

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej.

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