#welcome to yet another episode of chiara you should be studying

[talaok]

Don’t go

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Summary: You have to go, but Joel can't let you

Warnings: angst (?)

The words lingered on his tongue like tainted poison.

lingered in the air, in the space between you, 

in his eyes and the way they bore into you, the way they begged you.

don't go, he had prayed, stopping your hand as it turned on the knob.

You let your arm fall to your side, the weight of his words striking you defenseless.

He wasn't supposed to say that.

"I have to"

You watched as his throat struggled to swallow what felt like sand in his mouth.

"You don't," he said "you don't have to"

You heard the shield, the facade, breaking with each letter spilled from his lips.

"I do, Joel, you know I do" you whispered as if it was a secret, as if the walls had ears to attend you with "And you know you'd do the same"

He had to stop at that, to breathe, for he knew that to be the truth, but could not accept it as such.

"You can't," he said, the last brick on his wall tumbling down with the rest "Please"

You shook your head, your eyes damp with sorrow 

"Why?" you could not comprehend "Why are you telling me this now?" you had to ask "Why now that I've made up my mind? Why now that I finally know what I have to do?" you sighed "why, Joel, why?"

He knew this was coming, and yet he felt his skin prick with fear.

"Because I can't do this without you" he confessed without hesitation, feeling all the blood in his veins flow to his heart as it pumped relentlessly. 

He had to calm down. He had to tell you. He owed you at least that.

"Because I can't lose you" he said "not like this, not you too"

And there it was, the truth. The unspoken promise you had vowed to each other, 

that after everything, after everyone, you would be the exception,

That the nagging phantom cursing your existences was going to let this one slide, closing both eyes as it hovered above you.

"Then you won't" you breathed, as your fingers grazed his "But in order to do that, you have to let me go"