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#well anyway . this is pt one of an intended THREE PART series of wonder women; yara & nubia r next
616witch · 1 year
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You said my lasso isn't a weapon, but when one is entwined in it, they speak the truth. And that--the truth-- is my weapon.
part two; yara. | part three; nubia.
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thebeebi · 3 years
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your little games pt. 10
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pairing: Jungkook x reader
warnings: fluff in later chapters, smut, non-con, mention of r*pe attempt, implied murder and many more! Read only if you are okay with these topics!
genre: historical AU, 18th century?
word count: 3.3k+ [part 10] 
a/n: Hello hello wonderful people! I am sorry for the long wait! Thank you for wonderful messages for my birthday, I really appreciate it. ♥ I am back with a new chapter for the series after a week. It has been a long wait but I think you might like this chapter because in the last one and in this one we can see Jungkook’s character slowly developing. 
taglist: @njrwifey​ @danietoww04​  @kaithezaftig​​  [If you want to be added, just let me know :)]
You ran away from the man who tried to take an advantage of you. You stabbed him and escaped. Escaped to the arms of the handsome captain who was even worse than the man you just killed.
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9
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You were sitting in the carriage silently, looking out of the window. At that moment, it did not matter that Jungkook was in a mad mood and was watching you. “When did he ask for your hand in marriage?” You did not look at him even though you knew he was pointing that question at you. “After I met you. We knew each other even before.” You answered. Jungkook frowned and was quiet for a while. Once he spoke up, it was evident in his tone of voice, that he was irritated. “Would you have married him, if you were still a virgin?” You turned your head to him looking into his eyes knowing that you should not lie to him. “I have no inheritance. His parents would disagree with the marriage because of it. I would not be able to do so.”
“You are not mentioning love.” Jungkook started slowly. You looked down at your hands that were holding each other. “Love has no place in marriage.” You admitted bitterly. “Marriages are for profits and benefits. The lovers are looking for happiness and love in the green grass. They throw away the caution so they could have each other at that moment. I do not understand them.” Jungkook was watching you. “Now I see… you were never in love before and you were never tempted to feel like that. You are too innocent when it comes to love. You are untouched in that area.” He scoffed. You looked up at him, staring into his eyes. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” You replied quickly. “I am not a virgin. What you are saying does not make sense.” Jungkook laughed at your cluelessness. “It almost sounds like you are asking me to teach you what it is. But that would mean I might make you feel happy but you have to pay for what you and your companion did to me.” You glared at him. “I still have no idea what you are talking about.” You looked away while Jungkook was still watching you. “And you are making no sense. I have nothing to do with what they did. Do I have to repeat it for you?”
“Oh please, save it.” He sighed and looked out of the carriage that was slowly going towards the shop of the dressmaker. “I don’t need your lies anyway.” He mumbled but loud enough for you to hear it. “LIES?” You turned your whole body to him, almost ready to jump on him. “Who are you to say that?” Jungkook suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you closer. “Calm down, Y/N. You are having an attitude and I don’t like that.” He warned you. You gulped dryly when he bore his dark eyes into yours. It made you forget the reason you were mad and you looked down. I need to learn how to control myself. “I am sorry.” You whispered. You hated yourself for actually apologizing and that you were such a coward. Any other woman would scream at him, scratch him or in the worst-case scenario, slap him but you could not imagine yourself hurting him, not because you pitied him but because you were worried about what he might do to you.
Jungkook let go of you with a smirk after seeing you apologize and admit the defeat. “You should think before speaking, little one. Otherwise, you will get tired of saying sorry so often.”  You pulled away from him, trying to sit further, in the opposite corner of him. Once you were in a safe distance, you murmured. “It is hard to bite my tongue when you are insulting me.” You sighed and continued. “You are hurting my pride and destroying my self-esteem.” Jungkook cocked his head to the side. “I never said I would not do that. I am not going to let you have any of that.” He looked away from you, watching the world moving from the window. “I told you what you could expect. Did you think I was lying to you?” You shook your head and suddenly a lone tear fell on your hand, followed by the others. You wiped them hastily and Jungkook did not even turn around to see you. He just cursed underneath his nose and pulled out the handkerchief, giving it to you. “There you go,” said Jungkook. “You will need it. And if you intend on crying so often, I recommend you to get your own. It is irritating me that I don’t have mine when I need it.”
“Okay, Jungkook.” You whispered softly, too afraid to remind him that you do not own anything, not even a handkerchief. During the rest of the route, Jungkook was staring out of the window without speaking a word. The carriage was filled with chilling silence and it made you feel even tenser than usually. When you finally arrived, Mrs Dubois was waiting in front of her shop with a huge smile on her lips. Captain Jeon looked like a rich man to her, the type of man who would spend a fortune on his mistresses. Well, that was her first impression of him when he went there for the first time to buy you the dresses you never got to wear before you ran away. To Mrs Dubois, Jungkook looked like a man who knows how to treat his women and since she was still quite young, she knew how to appreciate him. When Jungkook helped you down of the carriage, you placed your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself once your feet touched the ground. He took the cloak off your shoulders and Mrs Dubois looked at the red dress you were wearing. She smiled satisfied, knowing that her work was just made for you and no other woman would as good in this dress.
Mrs Dubois was really curious about the woman when Jungkook was buying such a small dress. She never got to meet you until now. She assumed Jungkook found some kind of mistress and now brought her – you, to her shop. She looked you up and down until her eyes landed on your golden ring. “Madam Dubois, let me introduce you to my wife,” She looked at Jungkook confused but before she could say anything, she stopped herself knowing that it was not the best choice. She heard many of her female clients talk about captain Jeon and how they wished to be in his bed and she honestly wanted that too, never thinking about the possibility of him being married. “Mrs Jeon, it is a pleasure to meet you. I have seen numerous women who wanted to get your husband in their bed, but I gotta say, none of them was as beautiful as you.” Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows at the unnecessary remarks but continued. “My wife needs a few dresses, madam.” The woman suddenly realised the mistake she made and stepped back looking at Jungkook quickly. “Oui, sir, let’s go inside.“ She was aware that men don’t like to share much about their love life even more in front of their wives but she completely forgot this fact even while looking at the ring on your finger.
The three of you walked inside and you made your way towards the colourful materials that would be later used for making dresses. Jungkook made his way towards the sofa, while she was still staring at you thinking about how petite you were but still elegant and charming. In her eyes, any man would love to get close to you, to touch you, to feel you. No wonder, captain Jeon Jungkook married you. To her, you looked like a match made in heaven. Knowing her place, she sighed and gave up on the thoughts of ever getting close to Jungkook again. She walked towards him, bowing to him while whispering in french since she came from France 3 years ago and opened her shop in this little town. “She is a pure perfection, right sir?” Jungkook was the whole time watching you touching the materials, feeling them wondering how much they would cost you. He did not look back at Mrs Dubois even when she whispered. “Oui, madam. She is heavenly.” Jungkook nodded and spoke in the french back at her.
You turned to both of them, not understanding any of their conversations because languages were not your strongest subject. You weren’t expecting less from Jungkook but him speaking in French surprised you. You sighed and suddenly you realised they acted too close to your liking. To you, it looked like she was just another woman from his list of whores he slept with. You turned and walked to them furiously, mad at Jungkook that he brought you to this shop. When you got too close, the boldness suddenly disappeared and you made a quick turn to the right to look at the easel that was holding the papers with a few sketches of the dress designs. You took it from the easel and started studying it, wanting to distract yourself from the woman and Jungkook behind you. You were looking at the model of the modern dress that had a revealing neckline. Only an easy woman would wear that kind of dress. I don’t like it.
When you finally looked up from the sketch, you found out that there was some strange boy staring at you, who just came into the main room from the small room that was hiding being the curtain. His eyes were hungrily looking you up and down, staying longer on the lowcut neckline of your dress and your bust. Even though you knew you were wearing the dress, under his sight it felt like they were seethrough. He licked his lower lip and started walking towards you. Your eyes widened seeing him and when he started approaching you, you froze in fear. The boy took it as your way of showing him affection, welcoming him. He smiled but it was not his lucky day. Jungkook looked at you noticing the movement in the room and when he saw the young man approaching you, it was the last straw that made Jungkook lose it. At first the kidnappers, then your old love and now this young boy. You are his and not any public spectacle everyone could look at. Jungkook hated whenever other men looked at you.
Jungkook was overtaken by the uncontrollable anger and in a second he was on the opposite side of the room. Once you noticed Jungkook was coming closer, you squealed a little, moving to the side, letting him pass by. Jungkook grabbed the young man’s collar, lifted him from the floor and started shaking him. “You bastard, you dirt from the filthiest ground, I will teach you how to distance yourself from MY wife. Just wait till I am finished with you” Jungkook emphasised the word my through his teeth. The poor man was confused and scared because mad Jungkook was scary even for you but angry Jungkook was something you would never want to meet yourself. You stood there still frozen looking at the situation unfolding in front of you but Mrs Dubois jumped towards Jungkook to grab his hands.
“Sir! Monsieur!” She screamed begging Jungkook to stop. “Monsieur Jeon, I beg you. He is just a child. He did not want to offend you. Please, let him go. I am begging you!” Jungkook took a deep breath and slowly let go of the other male. He still had his jaw clenched. Once he let go of the younger male, Mrs Dubois grabbed the boy angrily and pulled him back behind the curtain cursing at him. You could not see what was happening but a loud slap echoed in the shop and you were sure you heard sobs coming from the boy. You nor Jungkook moved until she came back. “I am sorry, monsieur Jeon,” She bowed and then turned to you. “Madam Jeon, he is my nephew. A stupid child but …” she shrugged and smiled apologetically. “but a pure Frenchman.” She tried to say that was the reason for his action but Jungkook was not having it. He cocked his head to the side staring at the woman who tried to bullshit her way out. Once she noticed Jungkook was not amused by her explanation, she moved closer to you, pulling your hand and making you sit on the sofa, showing you all kinds of sketches of dresses she had.
“Let’s start with materials. I recommend using this one,“ she pointed at the material. “for an everyday type of dresses and then this one,” she pointed at a different kind of material, that was so much softer than the first one underneath your curious fingers. “for special occasions. It is just perfect for your type of skin. It is soft,” The smile you had on your lips while touching it slowly disappeared and you looked away. “It does not matter, madam.” You whispered. “Whatever you pick is fine.” She looked at you confused but then once she met her eyes with Jungkook for approval, she got reminded of how carefully he was choosing material for the undergarment. It had to be the softest sheer silk and it had to be up to his liking. She smiled realising how jealous he is when it comes to you, and she was very well aware of how difficult it is going to be for him when he will have to chase away all of the men that are going to come near you. Your face was showing innocence but also your body was too tempting to resist. She knew Jungkook is going to have a tough time.
“Captain Jeon, could you please take madam to the dressing room so we try on some dresses? I have a few sketches made according to the latest trends.” She turned and disappeared into the back side of the shop. She pulled out the chair asking Jungkook to sit down and then she turned to you. “Madam, if you let me, I will unbutton this and once you take it off, I will measure you.” You did as you were told and the dressmaker started measuring every inch of your body. She told you to spread your arms, to hold your breath and to lift up the soft sating undergarment you were wearing. “Well and now madam, suck in your belly.” Said Mrs Dubois once she put the meter around your hips. You looked at Jungkook who was grinning the whole time and when he noticed your death stares he shrugged satisfied. “I cannot do that.” The woman who was sitting in front of you on her legs was wondering why it was such a problem to do this kind of simple task but then it hit her. She looked up with a smile on her lips. “Madam is expecting a little baby, right?” she asked.
You looked away blushing. “Yes,” The woman turned to look at Jungkook. “That is great! So Monsieur Jeon is a proud dad, right?” Jungkook’s grin grew wider. “Of course, Mrs Dubois.“ She smiled and looked back at you thinking. There is no chance the child is not his. His behaviour and how he admitted that instantly… Well, looks like they are going to be a big family one day. She caressed your belly and stood up. “Well, monsieur, that made me happy. You did not blush nor stuttered when you admitted you were going to be a father. That is good. Very good. No man should be ashamed of what he did.” She looked at you then back at him. “And your wife is going to be the most beautiful, enchanting and charming mother, right monsieur?” Jungkook looked at you and she noticed that his eyes lit up. “Exactly, madam. The most beautiful one.“ He admitted honestly.
Oh, look at him! Though Mrs Dubois with a sigh. He cannot wait to have her in the bed again. The little madam is never going to be without the child in the womb for long. He is not going to get tired of her. Oh, how I wish I could be the one. The woman was thinking about the married couple’s future and how jealous she was of you actually getting him first. “Madam has the body of the goddess. Full bust, narrow middle. She is just made for loving.” You looked down shyly. You felt like a slave that was being sold to some man to offer him pleasure. Mrs Dubois was not talking about the body of just some woman, but yours. She had no right to abase you. You shut your eyes and huffed at her remarks and once you opened your eyes, looking into the mirror, you saw that Jungkook was watching you through it. It almost felt like the time stopped and you could not, nor did you want to move or turn from him. Not even when his eyes moved lower and you were well-aware of his eyes on your clothed breast, you did not move. You knew the material of your undergarment was sheer but you still did not do anything but watch his handsome face.
“I am going to grab the sketches. If your wife wishes to dress up again, I will button her up once I come back,” Said Mrs Dubois and disappeared from the room. You finally moved to grab your dress, breaking eye contact with Jungkook’s face in the mirror. You pulled them up waiting for Mrs Dubois so she could help her, but you looked up once you felt a quick tug on your skirt. Jungkook pulled you closer to him, making you stand in between his thighs. You looked over your shoulder with a slightly opened mouth a wide-opened eyes. Your heart was beating fast, even Jungkook noticed it and laughed a little. “Why are you so scared, my little bunny? I just wanted to help you button them up.“ He turned you around to make you face him and unintentionally your hands went up to cover up your bust. “You don’t need to hide, little one. No one else is going to look at you in here. Only me and my eyes.” You did not breathe because you were scared that if you took a breath your bust would touch his face. He was just too close. “Please,” you whispered. “Madam is going to come back soon,” Jungkook scoffed at your remark. “If you will listen and do so, she will come back to see a loving husband helping his beautiful wife. Or do you want her to see-“ You turned around not letting him continue what he was about to say. Jungkook laughed and while he was buttoning up your dress, Mrs Dubois came back with the sketches. “I brought everything I have. As you will see, you have many to choose from.” The dressmaker cleaned up the small table and put all of her works down. Jungkook sit down and you kneeled down in front of him curiously. Mrs Dubois took that as a cue to push the table closer to you, making you stuck between Jungkook’s thighs and the table.
You started looking through the sketches, falling in love with every one of them but you knew he would not spend such a fortune on you. You stared longingly at one particular dress but then sighed and looked away. “Don’t you have sketches of more simple dresses, more… cheaper?“ You asked the dressmaker. She looked at you surprised and Jungkook straightened up in his chair, placing his hand on your shoulder leaning over to you. “My love, I have enough money to buy you any of these dresses.” He said looking at the sketches. Mrs Dubois exhaled with satisfaction. Jungkook bit his lower lip for a second and then returned to his cold expression. He loved wearing stylish clothes and he is not going to let you – his wife think about money when it comes to buying the new dresses. “I think you are too afraid to spend my money,” his hand slid from your shoulder to your chin. He turned your head to look at him and then softly caressed your cheek. “I will help you pick some if you want.”
Chapter 11
a/n: Well??? What do you think? Did you notice something in this chapter? ANY THEORIES? ♥ I am really curious! I hope you enjoyed it!
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Here to Misbehave (Pt. 14 | S.R.)
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Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |
Summary: Separated and terrified, Spencer and Reader rely on their unique skills to survive. The team, minus Penelope and Derek, don’t know who the strange girl in the bank is, but they find out very interesting things about her history.
A/N: I don’t know how banks work. Idk how heists work. I know nothing. I hope you enjoy it anyway! Couple: Spencer/Fem!Reader 
 Category: ANGST. Just. All of it. All of the angst. Every bit. 
 Content Warning: Gun violence, discussions of death and dying Word Count: 10k
MASTERLIST
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“Hello, my name is (y/n)(y/l/n) and I’m calling from the Bank of America on K St. Northwest to report shots fired. The shots sounded like burst-fire from multiple semiautomatics.”
When adrenaline kicks in, there are a lot of things that don’t feel real. Time seems to warp into some ominous presence weighing down on you, but your body has never felt lighter.
“Ma’am, where are you?” Her voice sounded so far away. My own just felt foreign, like it belonged to someone else entirely.
“I’m inside the bathroom. Listen, I might not have a lot of time. There’s a federal agent inside the bank. His name is SSA Dr. Spencer Reid with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. Call...”
My mouth blanked on the names of the two men Spencer talked about the most. I’d met them both, why couldn’t I remember?
Several more shots rang through the building as an answer. It was enough to shake loose the names, which flowed from me before I could even comprehend where they came from.
“Call SSA Aaron Hotchner and… Derek Morgan.”
“Can you remain on the line?” She sounded insistent — which is against their protocol by the way. My eyes were glued to the bathroom door’s hinges.
“Only until the door opens.”
The sentence conveyed my thoughts without actually forming the words. Once that door opens, I’m probably going to die. It wasn’t a completely irrational fear.
“Okay. I need you to remain calm. Did you see any of the gunmen?”
Jesus, it was like everything I’d just told her had gone completely over her head. “No, I’m in the bathroom.”
“Does the agent have his service weapon?”
“No.”
If she didn’t ask me a question I could say yes to soon, I was going to lose my fucking mind.
I tried not to think about Spencer outside, but I couldn’t help it. All of my thoughts were on him, even before the commotion.
Was he even still alive?
“Help is on the way, Ms. (Y/l/n).”
“Please hurry.”
My entire body shook from the hormones, my instincts telling me to do anything besides sit crouched on a toilet in a bathroom stall. I don’t even know why I bothered hiding. They would definitely kick them in, or just shoot straight through the doors.
“We’ve contacted Agent Hotchner and he’s also on his way.”
Finally, some good fucking news. I released my breath as quietly as I could, closing my eyes for just a moment to compensate for the fact I hadn’t blinked in several minutes.
“Thank you,” I whispered, clutching the phone like it could actually do something for me past this point. But it couldn’t. No amount of breathing exercises would help me through this one.
Suddenly, there was movement outside the door. A crowd of people were shuffling past the door, and I heard the distinct sound of a toddler wailing.
“I have to go.”
“Wait, don’t hang up—“
I couldn’t wait, though. With trembling hands, I erased the evidence that I’d ever called them in the first place. And then I resumed my position as a sitting duck; quietly and as ready as I ever could be.
I listened for his voice, but I never heard it.
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Three seconds.
Did you know that a semiautomatic weapon can fire up to three rounds per second, depending on how fast the user can pull the trigger?
After the first shot is fired, no one moves. Puzzled and alert, people are paralyzed. Your first reaction is to look for the source of the sound. It’d been a second before I turned to see the three armed people and two dead security guards behind me.
It takes the average person one and a half seconds to cognitively process that they're in a potentially life-threatening situation. It takes another .7 seconds for a physical response to kick in.
Three seconds.That was long enough for a maximum of nine shots per person to be fired- twenty-seven shots in total; it was long enough for the air to be filled with the sudden outburst of helpless screams the patrons of the bank, and it was long enough for me to realize that I didn’t have my gun and that my girlfriend wasn’t by my side.
“Everybody get down on the ground!”
Amid the chaos, I felt that all too familiar twisting sensation in my gut that begged time to reverse just enough for this to be a dream. Enough time to reverse the decisions that led us here.
But time was a cruel mistress, and she did not plan to bend to the whims of mankind, no matter how desperate.
Another deafening burst of sound rang through the air, shots fired into the ceiling now as myself and the others fell to the ground.
My gaze was fixed on the bathroom entrance. I couldn’t breathe. Please, I begged, stay hidden.
“Listen up! If everyone does what we say, you can all go back to your boring fucking lives.”
Injuries occur in less than two percent of bank robberies. Deaths occur in less than one. Saturdays are the second to least likely day for a robbery to take place. In the past 5 years, less than 10 people have been killed in bank robberies, and most of them were the perpetrators. Statistics usually calmed me down and helped me focus.
But these people didn’t care about statistics. They were defying the odds I had just recited to myself. They had already killed two people. Our luck was already stacked against us.
“Take everything out of your pockets and put it in front of you.”
As soon as the order was given, I was running through an inventory of everything in my pockets. It didn’t take me long to realize that with a cursory inspection of the items, they would figure out who I was.
But what were the odds that they would actually scrutinize them? I figured they were fairly low; you don’t rob a bank to get cheap jewelry and petty cash, even in a bank. What were the odds they would notice if I left something in my pocket — especially if my wallet was in front of me. If it wasn’t large enough to be a weapon, and I put out my objects of value, why wouldn’t I put out the rest of the contents?
So I decided to take the risk, removing my wallet while retaining my separate identification.
Luckily, the attention seemed pretty far removed from me. If I wasn’t too busy being extremely grateful, I might have been offended that they didn’t consider me a threat in the building.
“Alright ladies, all of you get up and follow my lovely friend here. You’re going on a little trip. Fellas, you stay right where you are.”
The sound of my heart pounding drowned out the instructions that weren’t intended for me. It was fine, I hadn’t planned on moving, anyway. As long as I could see the door to the bathroom, I was perfectly fine right where I was.
But I still felt for the terrified women that were shakily rising to their feet. To my right, I saw a woman struggling to hold a small infant. My heart was fracturing at the struggle, wishing I could help her. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk doing anything that might draw attention to myself.
I felt like a traitor. I felt useless. I was quite literally trained to handle this exact situation, but now that I was here, I couldn’t move. I wasn’t thinking about strategy or how to maximize efficiency; all I was thinking about was her.
“Jake!” A woman’s voice screamed from the other side of the room. When I turned, I heard the sound of a rifle cracking against bone before the man hit the ground.
“Jake, huh?” The man above him laughed, using the business end of the rifle to turn the disoriented man on his side. “Well, Jake, how would you feel about your girlfriend watching you die?”
“Please don’t hurt him!” The woman sobbed, scrambling up off the floor that she’d resisted leaving. I wondered if (y/n) would have refused to leave me, too.
The man prodded the woman with the gun, urging her to follow the rest while simultaneously providing easy enough instructions. The man apparently named Jake made a few noises of desperate protest as he watched her leave.
“Shut the fuck up!”
“I’m sorry,” Jake pleaded, “I’m sorry, please don’t hurt her. I’ll be quiet.”
Smart man. I understood his hesitancy, though. His girlfriend kept her neck craned back until she was no longer in sight, gazing back at him for as long as she physically could. I closed my eyes just for a moment, to try and combat their current strain.
Unfortunately, just like it always seems to happen, that’s when they spoke the words I had been dreading.
“Hey, you check the bathrooms yet?”
“Nah, I got it.”
I closed my eyes tighter now, scared that if I opened them, I’d give myself away. There was no possible way that I could hide the terror I currently felt. To be fair, I think it was only natural to be scared — but not like this.
There was a loud crashing noise of doors slamming, and the voice I knew better than I knew my own reached my ears, making sounds I’d never heard from her before.
Don’t fight them. I pleaded again, Please, don’t fight them.
“Let go of me!” She screamed as the door to the bathroom swung open. Unable to keep my eyes shut any longer, I opened them to see her clawing at the ground as she was dragged out by her ankle. “I can walk by myself! Let go of me!”
I wasn’t sure if she didn’t see me in the commotion, or if she’d just made the decision to act like she hadn’t. Either way, I was grateful. Still, my worries were justified as one of the three unsubs walked over to me.
“Why are you looking at her like that? You know her?”
Craning my head up, I shook my head no. It must not have been very convincing; the rage in my heart at them for thrusting her into this situation evident in my eyes.
“You wanna play hero, kid?”
“Sorry. No.” I muttered, taking a deep breath in a failed attempt to regulate my heart rate or my voice, “She’s… very loud. I get headaches.”
“Yeah well, deal with it.”
That might have been the end of it, if I’d played my hand better. But it turned out that the risk I had previously elected to take was woefully miscalculated. I didn’t meet their eyes anymore, knowing that doing so might threaten whatever frail illusion of masculinity they possessed.
It still didn’t stop them from holding the gun to my head.
“Empty your pockets.”
“Okay. I can do that, but I have to put my hand in my pocket.” I explained, moving my shaking hand to my back pocket, “It’s not a weapon.”
For once, I was grateful that I was the resident wimp when it came to stressful situations. Sure, I could handle myself, but I definitely didn’t look like I wanted to be there. Had I been any more of a visible threat, I was certain they would have figured out my identity long before this point. They might even have killed me right away.
“Hurry up.”
Swallowing hard, I pulled the identification from my pocket, flipping it open and holding it up for him to see, my gaze aimed fully forward. He snatched the badge away, a cheeky chuckle and a smile in his words.
“FBI, huh? Well, aren’t we lucky. You just became our most valuable player.”
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Morgan arrived on the scene relatively unhurried and mostly just curious. The information Garcia had sent over text message was vague, likely due to the crime being a local one. Nothing about this seemed to be the BAU’s usual fare.
It took him almost no time to find Hotch, dressed in casual clothing, surrounded by the massive response team swarming around the bank. But Hotch hadn’t spotted him yet, fully involved with SWAT.
“What’s going on?”
Finally turning to notice his arrival, Hotch gave his normal matter-of-fact report in his simple, succinct manner. “Three people stormed the bank approximately 20 minutes ago and killed two security guards. There are 19 confirmed hostages inside the bank.”
But there was one significant detail that seemed to be missing, and Morgan started to scan the crowd for familiar faces as he spoke. “Hotch, this doesn’t sound like anything we’ve been working on. Why are we responding?”
“The caller alerted us that Reid is inside.”
The words were so unexpected that Morgan actually did a double take, his eyebrows furrowed and bowed as he replayed them in his head. “Wait, how did the caller know that?”
“I don’t know,” Hotch said with an equally perplexed look, gripping tighter to the communicator in his hand, “but she referred to us and him by name.”
‘She?’ Morgan thought, his heart stopping for a second as he excused himself from Hotch’s side, pulling out his phone and frantically calling Garcia, who had already made her way to the BAU.
“Hey there handsome.” It was a mild nickname for the famed Penelope Garcia, but Derek knew that she was probably already in a tough spot. After all, it’s not every day that one of their own is in these situations. At least, not unexpectedly.
“Hey Garcia, do you have eyes on the people in the bank?”
He could hear the feverish click-clacking of keys on the other end, followed closely by her equally frantic voice. “I’m working on it but so far I can only see the main lobby. They separated the women and the men for some reason. Why would they do that?”
“Just focus,” he calmly reminded, “Can you see the women?”
“No. All the women and children were moved to the back.”
Rubbing his face to try and relieve the tension that had quickly made its home over his jaw, Morgan glanced over at the entrance to the bank. It was strange to think that so much had happened so quickly.
Garcia had mentioned twice now that the women had been moved to the back, and he was trying to figure out why they would do that beyond the usual control mechanisms.
“I’m trying to see in the back now, but apparently banks take their video surveillance far more seriously than everything else. Last I checked, a camera never stole money or fired a gun!”
“Focus, babygirl.” It was an instruction for himself just as much as it was for her.
“Sorry, I’m nervous, and you know how I get when I’m nervous!” She squeaked, “I don’t like seeing you guys on my screens. I’d much rather see you in person, safe and sound and preferably smiling.”
Trying not to lose his patience, Morgan just sighed. It wasn’t her fault. It was no one’s fault, except that of the bastards who just had to go and ruin a perfectly nice weekend.
“Can you at least tell me who the caller was? Did they call from inside?”
“They were inside and, one second, let me check, it was... oh.” Her voice cut off abruptly, dropping into a high pitched, desperate whisper. “Oh no.”
“What?”
“It’s... the girl from the movies,” Garcia’s voice got faster and more panicked, “Derek, it’s (y/n). It’s Reid’s girlfriend. Reid’s girlfriend is inside the bank.”
Now that his suspicions had been confirmed, he wasn’t really sure what to do with the information. Because now that he knew Reid wasn’t alone, he felt the need to tell Hotch.
A profiler with a loved one involved was in dangerous territory. It wasn’t just Reid, but Morgan had personally seen just how unhinged Reid could get when it came to (y/n).
“Can you see her?” He asked, his voice lower than it was before.
“Oh, god, yes! I can!” It was not the kind of excited exclamation Morgan had hoped to hear, but at least he had confirmation she was alive. “She was in the bathroom but… They’re dragging her away…”
Morgan had tried not to pry too far in his best friend’s life before, and he took a moment to consider whether his next request was honestly necessary, or if he was just trying to find a reason to snoop.
But he wasn’t. There was something off about that girl. It wasn’t that she was bad or wrong, but she was far too comfortable in situations that didn’t call for it. The way she carried herself told him that she had held her own hand too often.
“Garcia, I know I’ve already done this to you once but... I need you to tell me everything you can find on her.”
—————————————————
My entire body ached; the sensation of an unfamiliar hand clenched tightly around my ankle burned long after I was released. It was definitely sprained, at the very least. I didn’t dare try to touch it, though. It wouldn’t be worth the trouble, and the bristling discomfort kept me where I was.
Which, for now was on my knees in the backroom of a bank lobby. Beside us was a large, heavily reinforced steel door with way too many different contraptions. I decided then that this whole arms race between burglars and corporate America had gotten a little fucking ridiculous.
But however annoyed I was by that, I was far more irritated by the hushed bickering between the man and woman holding rifles on the other side of the room. I could only hear every couple of words, but I got the gist of what they were arguing about.
Apparently, they’d never heard of an alarm system that’s connected to locks, which seemed extremely stupid for people who had gotten this far. In hindsight, that should have been my first clue that something was off about this entire situation.
Still, I couldn’t deal with them making the same fucking arguments over and over, so eventually I blurted out what I’m certain any millennial in the room would know. “The keycard won’t work if they’ve sounded the alarm.”
The statement earned me a gun to my face, and after a brief second of confusion, I flinched away from the cold metal of the barrel.
“What was that, sweetheart?” She was clearly looking to gauge my reaction rather than actually ask me to repeat the information. That was fine. I wasn’t exactly a talented actress, and I didn’t see the point in pretending to be meek.
If she was going to kill me, she was going to do it. Although I was certain Spencer would disagree, I chose to believe that our fate is dictated long before it happens. I was not a profiler; if I survived, it would be because I had been taught to survive through brute force and spite rather than calm negotiation.
“The keycard system is linked to the alarms,” I said, slower now, “Someone hit the alarm, so the cards aren’t going to work. You’ll need to use the old school keys.”
Her eyes narrowed, her voice dropping to a much lower register as she crouched down to my height. “How would you know? You work here?”
“No, my dad worked security.” It wasn’t a lie as much as it was an understatement, but she didn’t need to know that. I guess that’s one of those good things growing up with the dad I did; I got very comfortable speaking in vague generalities. Spencer hated it.
“Well, your daddy isn’t here to help you now.”
Wasn’t that the damn truth. But that didn’t mean I was alone, I reminded myself. Despite being dragged and my vision turned literally upside down, I had caught a glimpse of him in the lobby. He was alive. That thought alone was keeping me sane right now.
“The different keys you need for an override are probably kept on separate people so one person can’t do it alone. Probably the different managers.” I muttered, nodding to the side where one of the employees flinched at my words. Anything to get away from the fucking gun in my face.
“Is she right?” The woman sneered to the manager, turning her full attention to someone else. I felt a little guilty, since the poor manager seemed a lot less put together than I was. But hey, they needed her, too.
“Yes, I already gave you my keys,” she squeaked, holding her trembling hands up, “Th-There’s another set behind the desk I think.”
“Would you look at that...” It was the first time the man in the room addressed me since he had pulled me out of the stall, and I had to admit I wasn’t exactly a fan of his. But at the same time, I knew that he was going to be remarkably more receptive to me than the woman. She seemed to be the one who was actually in charge.  
“Little miss problem was actually helpful,” he cheered, raising his weapon to point to the ceiling as he approached me. I chewed nervously on my cheeks, trying to meet his eyes but finding them uncomfortably bare.
“You should turn off the camera too, I’m just saying.” This time I didn’t nod, using one cautious finger to point to the small device that was currently staring right at me. I understood that it was probably helpful to Spencer’s team to be able to see, but I wasn’t really keen on my death being videotaped... as well as anything else I might end up doing.
‘Never leave a trace.’ That’s what I’d always heard.
‘Keep’em guessing. Even if you think it’s gonna kill you, because you don’t want to live with that over your head.’
“Fine. Do that and go get the keys.” He sounded intrigued, and I felt his searing gaze against my face.
“I think you should do it.”
The tension from before, when the two were arguing, had quickly resurfaced. She clearly didn’t trust him to be alone in the room, which solidified my belief that she was calling the shots, and he was just being dragged along for the ride.
In another life, I might have respected her ability to order stupid men around.
“Why the fuck is that?” He snapped, earning a bored roll of her eyes. The next thing out of her mouth was expected, but unfortunately the last thing I wanted to hear.
“I want to talk to her alone.”
Great. And naturally, her idea of ‘talking’ to me included weaponry. Using the end of the gun to tilt my head up to her, she gave a suspicious smile.
“Why are you helping us?”
“I want to go home.” It was my immediate and instinctual answer. It was the truth. I was helping them because I wanted to get the fuck out of here.
But you know, people expect everyone to have a squeaky-clean moral compass, so I decided to give a few more reasons.
“And I don’t give a shit about a massive corporate bank. I was just here to go to the bathroom– I don’t even have an account here.”
Maybe that was too many reasons, because just as her hesitance waned, it was back in full force. Shoving the barrel against my throat, she sneered, “I don’t believe you. You’re too comfortable with a gun in your face. You a cop, too?”
Cop?
I tilted my head to the side, baring more of my throat to her as I drawled, “Who’s a cop?”
For once, I was glad that Spencer had made such a point of reassuring me that he was not ‘a cop,’ because otherwise I’m certain the terror would have been obvious in my eyes. But for now, I could trust the numb apathy that was washing over me.
Please don’t be talking about Spencer. Please don’t know that. Good things never happened to law enforcement in situations like this. Hell, the two security guards had been dead in seconds.
“I think you know.” She was smiling, and I realized that this fucking psychopath was sharper than she wanted me to think.
“I don’t.” The words were said through clenched teeth, and I prayed that she would see them as insistent anger over the fear that lie beneath them, “And why would you kill me if I was helping you?”
She smiled, drawing the weapon up and down my throat until it landed lower at my chest. The movements were slow and light, a playful glint in her eyes when they met mine again.
“For fun.”
I didn’t move a muscle, my body remaining tense under her ministrations as I forced myself to hold my gaze steady. If she wanted fear, she wouldn’t get it from me.
“Then do it.”
The look she gave me told me she had seriously considered it, probably a little annoyed with my presence. But there was something else there, too, that same soft recognition that in another reality we might have been friends. I’m sure she saw herself in me a little bit; or at least somebody useful.
This confirmed my suspicion that I’d never really be able to read a psychopath. I didn’t understand how Spencer could do it every day. It’d only been a few minutes alone with her and I could feel myself losing the happy memories of the day.
Luckily, the man returned at the same time I saw a plan developing in her mind.
“Hey, come help me,” he called to her. Her response was surprisingly swift, the metal that was tracing over my collar bones disappearing without another word. He was holding a small bag of money, which seemed to seriously irritate the woman.
“Did you get that money from behind the counter?” I asked it before she had a chance. I wanted him to trust me. Or at least look at me more. It wasn’t that I wanted his attention as much as I knew I could distract him fairly easily.
He looked over at me, a dumbfounded look on his face. Men are so fucking stupid, I thought. The pissed off expression on his partner’s face told me that she agreed.
“It’s going to explode if you mess with it or it leaves the area. Probably with tear gas. If you’re escaping in a car, you’re not gonna want it.”
“Yeah, we know about dye packs, bitch.” She snapped, grabbing the bag of money and tossing it to the side of the door they intended to use.
I stared at the locks they hadn’t even bothered trying to touch. The same locks they apparently didn’t look up or know anything about when they came. Suddenly it hit me why this all felt so very off.
It was strange enough that no one was wearing a mask, and as far as I’d heard, no one was really trying to get out of this situation. I was certain that by this point there was a large crowd of armored men outside.
“Just trying to help,” I muttered as I started to scan the room, looking for telltale signs of tampering. The anxious whispering of the man distracted me just long enough to get more information.  
“Won’t that set off some shit? Chain reaction shit?”
“Shut the fuck up,” the woman responded with a swift elbow to his gut as she started to walk away, “you are an absolute moron.”
As soon as she was out of earshot, I heard the faint curses that fell from his lips. As he picked up the bag just to toss it away again, I noticed the presence of odd packages in the corner of the room. He really did not want exploding dye packs near those boxes, which seemed remarkably out of place.
“Why does she think she’s in charge?” I asked, finally ripping my eyes away from the objects that now seemed glaringly obvious. “You two guys outnumber her.”
“You’ve got quite the mouth on you.”
Relaxing my body as much as I could, I shifted back and forth on my knees, rubbing the tired muscles of my thighs. “I may have been told that once or twice.”
He actually chuckled; his eyes drawn to my legs like the absolute moron he so obviously was. She definitely had gotten that one right. The other women in the room were watching me, but I tried not to pay them any mind.
I didn’t know when or why they decided to let me do whatever I wanted, but I appreciated their apparent comfort in letting me try to kill myself. He made his way over to the boxes, each a specific size and shape. He carried them so carefully.
“I figure there’s no point in being scared if I’m going to die anyway.” I finally said. Shocked gasps and whispers filled the room, but I didn’t divert my attention to them– No matter how much I wanted to tell them to shut the fuck up.
They would distract me from the way his mouth curled into a smile when he closed the gap between us, his hand sliding down my head and over my shoulder to follow the braid Spencer had meticulously woven an hour before.
“How about you just shut up and sit pretty for me, sweetheart.” I tried not to let the disgust show as his hand slid behind my neck, holding my head so that I had to look up at him. “You seem like you’d be real good at that.”
Ha! If only Spencer could hear him say that. But I could play the good girl for just long enough.
“Do you need help?” I asked with a tiny shrug, “I might be little but I’m pretty strong.” Strong enough to break your fucking hand if you don’t get it off of me.
“Nah.” He ordered, his hand on my neck getting tighter. “But I don’t doubt that you could be useful. You look real good on your knees.”
My heart was pounding so hard I thought it might be visible through my ribs. I just needed an excuse to move. If he could give me an excuse to move, I could do so many things.
“Please let me help,” I begged, raising my hand to his forearm against my shoulder. His eyes began to shift, moving just enough to tell me that he wanted to look to the hallway. He could hear her footsteps, too. She was coming back, and I only had a few seconds left.
Once both of my hands were on his arm, I got the feeling he knew something even worse was coming for him.
“I’d love a chance to get to show you how helpful I really am.”  
—————————————————
Hotch had spent the past five minutes on the phone with the male unsub in the lobby, and the conversation was going absolutely nowhere. For whatever reason, they just seemed to deflect any opportunity provided to them.
They didn’t seem to give a shit about anything beyond pushing the buttons of each person they interacted with. Which, they did quite successfully.
“Didn’t realize one pig would bring the whole flock of you here,” he laughed, clearly motioning to Spencer on the video, “How bad do you want him back?”
“What do you want?” He responded without hesitation or a surprise. It was such an expected question to ask that he’d barely even thought about his words before they came out.
“Easy. A chopper, and for you to fuck off.”
That was the equally stereotypical response, meaning it was entirely unhelpful to them. From what they could deduce, they were equally confused as to why this heist seemed to follow all the rules, but match none of the motivations. It was like it was a show, a game, rather than an actual attempt to maximize profits.
“We can do the helicopter, but we can’t give you a pilot.”
“That’s fine,” he responded with a shrug, “Don’t need one.”
It was the first piece of useful information he’d gotten so far on the call. Because if they didn’t need a pilot, it meant one of two things: either one of them possessed the skill themselves, or they weren’t ever intending to use the helicopter.
Briefly pulling the phone away, Hotch turned to Morgan. “Tell Garcia to check our list with people with pilot’s licenses or any other connection that might provide them the skills to fly a helicopter.”
He returned to the call, continuing the usual script for these situations, trying not to act like he’d learned anything new.
“Can you release the women and children?”
“Nah,” the guy said with a chuckle, “I’ll wait.”
Hotch listened to the sound of the receiver for a moment, staring at the entrance to the bank like it would provide him the answers he still needed. He had his suspicions of what might be happening, but with no eyes in the back anymore and the trigger-happy group that had formed around him, he wouldn’t have the resources to convince them not to go in guns blazing.
“We’re ready to move in.” Which is exactly what they had requested.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He stated before finally moving to look at the man next to him, “Something isn’t right here.”
“Yeah, a lot isn’t right here. There’s 19 innocent people in there.”
It didn’t really matter how many times he went through this situation; the results always seemed to be the same. No one listened, even when it wasn’t one of their men inside.
“Storming the building isn’t going to help them. There are three armed perpetrators inside, and they’re each in a different area. It would be impossible for us to take out all three at once. Especially now that we can’t see in the back. There could be explosives in there for all we know.”
The man was unpersuaded.
“If we can’t save them all, minimizing casualties is the name of the game.”
“Wait a few more minutes. I’m waiting to hear back from our analyst. If they have the capability of flying a plane, its highly likely they also have the knowledge and skills to create weapons that we aren’t currently prepared to handle.”
Although still unconvinced, the man grudgingly gave in to the request. Hotch closed his eyes, trying to be grateful for the extremely small victory; they’d gained a few more minutes. But the relief was short lived, with Morgan putting his phone aside for a second to mutter the same thing Hotch was thinking.
“Hotch, these people are way too confident. It’s like they know there’s a way out.”
As soon as he said the words, the two just looked at each other.
“Garcia, can you also check for any other way out of the bank?” He asked, walking back over to the table laid out under the nearby tent. This would have been a great time for Reid to be here, he thought as he stared at the ridiculously complicated schematics.
He understood they didn’t want people to be able to figure them out (so they couldn’t rob the bank), but this was just ridiculous. It looked ancient.  
“Sure thing, but… Morgan, I think there’s something else you should see.” The nerves dancing in her voice told him that they were about to switch subjects. “You know how the guy disabled the camera feed in the back room. I was reviewing the footage we do have and it looks like… (y/n) told him to.”
“Why would she do that?” He asked, furrowing his brow as he glanced over to the ornate bank doors. Part of him wanted to joke that things would’ve been a lot simpler if he didn’t have to worry about Reid’s weird girlfriend, but it didn’t feel as funny when they were both in danger.
Maybe later, he thought hopefully, when they were all together again.
“I… don’t know why. But I did what you asked, and I went through her record and found a ton of sealed files on her and also her dad…”
Morgan’s attention was definitely piqued at that point, but he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. In the stunned silence, Penelope spoke again.
“Should… Should I unseal them?”
It was the same question he was debating in his head, and he honestly didn’t know. Although a long shot, he hoped that she could provide at least the bare minimum of context before they made that kind of decision.
“What kind of files are we talking about?”
“I can’t be sure until I unseal them b-but, I mean, they’re sealed for a reason and I’m talking scary sealed. Like, it might take me a minute sealed. Giving me the heebie-jeebies sealed.” She grew more frantic as she continued. Morgan knew they were running out of time.
“I get it.”
“Is Reid okay?” She switched gears, recognizing that Morgan’s hesitance meant it was probably a bad idea. She wasn’t going to push it unless he did. They didn’t even know if she could help even if they unsealed the files. Especially without a visual.
“They know he’s with us,” Morgan sadly admitted, “I don’t know what’s going on. Did you find another way out of the bank?”
“Right.” The conversation was going to give everyone involved whiplash at this point. “Yes! There is an access way through tunnels underneath the bank but it would take a massive distraction for all three of them to be able to get out of there without us meeting them on the other side. I’m talking earth shatterin–.”
She didn’t finish the sentence, her tongue halting the second her mind caught up with her voice. Morgan was equally concerned, recognizing the kind of distraction that this might require and the perfect way to escape with maximum damage.
But that wasn’t what got his attention. There was no fiery explosion or shouted epiphany, because at that same time there were the muffled sounds of gunshots coming from inside.
“Oh my god, what was that?!” Garcia yelled, accompanied by frantic clicking as she filtered through each individual camera to try and locate the source of the noise.
“Garcia, do you have eyes on the main room?”
“Yes! But it wasn’t in the main room, Derek, it was in the back!”
It was a difficult and necessary job, to consider what those sounds might mean for the young girl they’d met only a few weeks earlier. Morgan’s thoughts went even further, not only worried about her safety, but his best friend’s sanity. Lord knows Reid didn’t need another thing weighing on his conscience. Especially not about her; it just might destroy him.
“What does the unsub in the main area look like? Does he look confused? Surprised?” The words were coming, but he didn’t know where from. His body was on autopilot, desperately seeking any validation that they could still save everyone.
“I-I don’t know! He looks grainy! The image is like an inch wide!” She was clearly growing frustrated, which was a feeling they all shared at this point. “This camera is from before I was even born!”
“Try, Penelope,” Morgan pleaded, “Give me something.”
But the other men weren’t willing to wait.
“That’s it. We’re moving in.”
Morgan turned to them, his hand clutching tighter to the phone just in time for her to speak.
“He’s calling for them but they’re not coming out. He looks… Oh no. He’s yelling at Reid now. And... And it looks like someone is coming down the hallway? But he’s not looking–”
It was impossible to focus on everything that was happening, heavy boots and massive commotion as people began to take their positions. But if someone was coming down the hallway, and the unsub didn’t know, that could only mean a few things. Either he was about to be proven disposable, or someone else had fired those shots.
Either way, one thing was clear.
“Wait! We can’t go in there yet!”
—————————————————
There was a point in time where I might have questioned whether I would ever get used to a gun in my face. There was also a point where I actually had gotten used to it. But nothing could have prepared me for this moment, this terrifying realization while staring down the barrel of an assault rifle that I didn’t want to die yet.
I used to think that my life was somewhat disposable. Sure, I was helpful and useful for my job, but ultimately, I considered myself replaceable. The next person to come might not have the same credentials, but they probably wouldn’t also have half the flaws I do.
But now I wasn’t thinking of work. I wasn’t thinking about how replaceable I was, because it wasn’t my life that mattered.
I didn’t want to die yet, because I wanted to see her again.
So I just stared at the weapon, trying to remember that it was still a great possibility that I could. I tried not to think about what was in front of me, choosing to use most of my brainpower to picture what it would feel like when I had her in my arms again.
The vision inside my head ended swiftly, with the sound of rapidly fired weaponry coming from down the hall. Through the commotion of screaming, I surmised that at least two guns had been fired.
Silence followed. It was a stifling, exhausting, painful silence.
What broke it was even worse, with the gun in my face smacking into the side of my head as the man holding it lost his grip at the sound.
“What the fuck was that?!”
He looked at me like he expected me to have the answers, but I didn’t.
“I don’t know. I-I don’t—“ Not only did I not understand why two guns would fire, I didn’t know who had shot them or for what reason. There was one thing I did know. “It sounded like your weapons.”
“Hey, what’s going on back there?!” He shouted, twisting his body just enough to see around the corner.
There was no reply.
“Did your people get in here somehow?” The panic was obvious, and I didn’t know how to calm him down without arousing suspicion. He was continuing to devolve, stepping closer to me as he stuck with his original thought, “How the fuck could they have done that, huh?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is there anything you do know?”
It was a question I’d been asking myself. The longer the silence continued in the back, the more rapidly my anxiety rose. There are only a few reasons why we wouldn’t hear more screaming.
Either someone had managed to get remarkable control over the situation, or all of the hostages were dead. Including (y/n). I forced myself to consider the far less likely, but still possible third option: She was dying, and I could still help her.
“I know that there is still a way for you to get out of this.” I barely recognized my own voice as I rambled, “Is it possible your partners… Is it possible they were planning on leaving together?”
“What?” He sounded disgusted and exhausted, but simultaneously insecure. It didn’t take much effort to realize that he was the weakest of the crew. I’d already had my suspicions that whatever the next step in this journey was, he wasn’t going to be making it with them regardless.
“It was their decision to leave you out here, right? In the place with the most windows and the first access to the door? They put you with all the people most likely to fight back. And now it sounds like…”
I paused, my lips unable to make the next words without a deep breath. “It sounds like they killed the people in the back as a diversion to send in SWAT. Does that sound like something they would do?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
That was enough confirmation for me. It was definitely something they would do, and he knew it. He probably suspected it himself. Thankfully, it gave me enough courage to push back for the first time in this encounter. “Then go back there and see if they’re still there.”
“And just let you be hero and save all these guys? No chance.”
I wanted to laugh; if only he knew the real reason I wanted him to go back there. As terrible as it was, I didn’t care at all about the rest of these men right now. As far as I knew, they were relatively safe. In fact, they were in a better position if what I’d deduced was true. This man, while violent, wasn’t the kind to murder everyone in sight, even when cornered. He’d more likely be shot by SWAT.
“I’ll come with you.” It was a plea, a desperate attempt to get more information that I both wanted and feared. He watched me carefully, trying to read the terror on my face to determine where exactly it was coming from. He knew the hostages were useless to him if he had me, so I wasn’t particularly scared for my life.
At least, not just yet.
“Fine. Get up.”
I willed my legs to stop shaking; to just carry me far enough that I could see her face. I just needed to know that she was okay.
But then I felt a fine mist over my skin— it almost felt like the noise happened after, but I knew logically that couldn’t be true.
A gun fires before the bullets hit their target.
Time seemed to move slower as his body fell to the ground in front of me. My eyes followed him to the floor, but only until I saw the person holding the gun through my peripherals.
“...(y/n)?”
And there she was, clutching tightly onto a rifle, her body barely upright as she staggered forward. There was something remarkably off-putting about the sight of her holding on for dear life to something so morbid. A jarring contrast I would not soon be able to forget, if I ever could.
There was something even more unsettling about the ease with which she carried the weapon, and the fact that she had managed to fire something that powerful without a single stray bullet.
“They’re dead!” She boomed across the room, dropping the weapon onto the floor before she yelled again, “Everyone get out! Hurry!”
No one moved. All of the men, myself included, stared at the tiny girl who’d just saved all of our lives.
“Get out now! There’s a bomb in the back!”
Those were the magic words to stir a panicked crowd into action, people stampeding to the single double door at the entrance, but my eyes were fixed on her. She staggered forward, her arm around her waist and her eyes beginning to roll back.
Perhaps I was just clueless, my one-track mind too slow to navigate the scene in front of me, but it took me that long to see it. My brain rioted against the visuals it took in, the dark crimson dripping down her body. It looked like it would swallow her whole.
I tried to will my body to move, to run to her and do something, anything to help her. But I couldn’t, frozen in place as her small steps got weaker. It wasn’t until I saw her begin to sway that I lunged forward just in time to catch her before she hit the ground.
“Wait!” I screamed to anyone who would listen, my eyes frantically trying to meet someone in the crowd, “Someone get a medic!”
The woman with a child was the last one to pass. She stopped among the commotion, looking down at the carnage in my lap before bolting towards the door.
I had to trust that she would care enough to do something, because from that point on my attention wouldn’t be leaving (y/n). Her eyes were glassy, staring off into the distance and wandering aimlessly despite my face being in view.
“Hey, hey little girl.” My voice crackled as I held her cheek, “Hey, look at me.”
She was finally able to meet my gaze, her eyes filling with love with a small, delirious smile gracing her lips.
“Hey old man.”
The grin didn’t last long, the sounds of her choking and coughing replacing it as blood filled her mouth. I tried to turn her enough that she could spit it out, but it was obvious she was struggling to get any air at all.
“We’re gonna get you some help, okay?” I said with a false confidence, the twisted curve of my lips not even barely resembling a smile.
“It hurts,” she sobbed, her hands slipping in the blood on her stomach.
“I know.”
There wasn’t anything I could do; all I could do was sit there and stare, trying to decide where my hands should be. She was applying pressure to her wound on the front, but I could see the wreckage that was once her back. My hands wouldn’t be enough.
“I’m sleepy.”
“I know.” I was trembling, tears dripping from my face and mixing with the bloody mess; they still couldn’t dilute it, somehow make it vanish. “I know you’re tired. But you’ve gotta stay awake, okay?”
“Okay, I’ll try.”
At first, I wanted to say the innocence in her voice was surprising, but it wasn’t. She was innocent. She was just a young girl, trying to live a happy, normal life before she met me.
“You’re doing great.” I tried to convince myself this wasn’t my fault, but it didn’t work. She had said it herself — she wouldn’t have ever come to a bank on her own. The statistics of the rarity of this situation kept playing on a loop in the back of my head, but it was just a low hum beneath the sound of her pained whimpers.
“Spencer, I need to tell you something.” The newfound insistence in her voice twisted in my gut, and my hands held tighter to her arm.
“No, don’t,” I begged, already anticipating what was going to happen. “Please, don’t do this.”
“I have to tell you right now.” And then her voice was calm, a smile on her face as her blood-soaked hand left her stomach, trying to raise to touch me. It didn’t make it.
“No, you can tell me later.”
The words were so slurred and pathetic, I’m surprised she understood them. But she did, taking a deep, whistling breath. It was clear it hurt her to speak, and I wanted to tell her to be quiet, but the masochist in me needed to hear the words all the same.
“Spencer, please. Just listen to me.”
This sounded too much like a goodbye.
“I love you.”
Our bodies rocked as I realized I hadn’t taken a breath of my own in too long, the pain in my oxygen deprived lungs not nearly enough to distract me from the genuine softness of her voice.
“I love you so much,” she whispered, “Do you know that?”
I don’t know how she wasn’t crying, her eyes barely open but too tired to blink. That rosy complexion had faded, her skin blanching the longer she lay in my arms.
“Yes, I know.”
“I love you with my whole heart.”
My mind was flashing images from only a couple hours prior, her warm laugh as she laid on my lap, the way her hair slipped between my fingers while I wove it together.
‘You think you’ll still be around?’
‘If you’ll have me.’
The memories were blurring together, creating a symphony of promises that were about to be shattered in front of my eyes.
‘Forever,’ she’d said. ‘Forever.’
‘A white picket fence. Two little bratty genius babies. Just a normal, domestic life with Dr. and Mrs. Reid.’
Rejecting the thought, I shook my head, “You’re going to be fine.”
“I understand what you meant when…” Her voice was too quiet, too distant, to be this warm. “When you said it was nice to be able to say it.”  
The heavy footfalls and sound of a transport bed wheeling across the floor alerted me that I would have to let her go soon. Whether this would be the last time I ever held her, I couldn’t be sure.
“They’re gonna come take you now, but I’ll be right behind them. I promise.” I barely got the words out before their hands were all over her, those tired eyes shooting wide open as unfamiliar hands replaced mine.
“Wait, Spencer!” She cried out, her body too limp to make a meaningful attempt to stop them, “Don’t leave me!”
Her screams and sobs were ringing louder than the gunshots had, my body slowly making its way upright as I watched them place her on the bed.
“I’m not leaving you, I promise.” I tried not to let the panic bleed through, raising the volume as she started to be taken away from me, “Stay awake as long as you can.”
I couldn’t see her, but I could hear her attempts to scream. If she was calling my name, it wasn’t recognizable. I’m not sure which hurt worse— the sound of her tired lips butchering my name, or the silence that followed.
She wasn’t able to scream anymore.
When I emerged from the bank, the sun burned my eyes just as much as the sight of my team shocked to see me covered in blood. But I couldn’t focus on them at all, immediately bolting after the paramedics without another thought.
The extra time it took them to carefully load her allowed me to jump into the back of the vehicle before the doors shut. There were no words to describe this situation, nor make it any better.
So I just stared in horrified fascination, trying to gauge her odds as they rapidly changed in front of me. Of 107,141 firearm injuries last year, 31% died. How many of the 69% had assault rifle wounds? I couldn’t remember any other statistics. My brain had turned itself off, focusing only on the frantic beeping and scrambled voices.
“Where is he?” Her tiny voice cut through both the internal and external noise.
“I’m right here.” I nearly shouted from my precarious position standing in the back of the rattling ambulance. I wanted to move closer, but I was too scared. There were so many hands on her, and I didn’t want to get in the way.
“I’m scared.” She said, mirroring my exact thoughts.
“I’m right here.” I repeated, closing my eyes to hide from the carnage long enough to put words together that might make her feel any ounce of comfort, “You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you.”
Taking an experimental step forward once the paramedics seemed settled in their places, I came to stand behind her. My hands were tinted red and trembled as they reached out to touch her cheeks.
She took a sharp inhale at the sensation, just barely holding her head up straight. I couldn’t tell if she was leaning into my touch or just couldn’t control her neck any longer. Her skin felt like ice, and although she was still beautiful, the blue tint creeping over her face struck fear in my heart.
“How much longer until we get to the hospital? Her body temperature is dropping.”
If she heard me, she didn’t respond. I stared at the paramedic who was obviously more concerned with other things at the moment. They were kind enough to give me a response, even if it wasn’t a satisfying one.
“Just a few more minutes. We can’t do anything until we stop the bleeding, sir.”
“Spencer…” Each time she spoke was simultaneously terrifying and comforting. It was confirmation she was alive, but also troublesome, because I knew that she should be reserving her efforts for staying alive.
“Hang in there, little girl. We’re almost there.”
She opened her eyes, staring up at me with clouded vision. I could see the pain so clearly it might as well have been me on the table.
“Please help me,” she sobbed, “help me.”
“I-I can’t.” They were the two hardest words I’d ever had to say. Frustration mounted in me, but none of it was directed at her. She didn’t do anything wrong. Myself, on the other hand, I hated myself in that moment.
She was begging for me to help her, and I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but stand here and watch as she bled out in the back of an ambulance, a stranger’s hands practically inside of her stomach.
“I don’t want to die.”
The way her voice cracked took whatever was left of my sanity with it, and I felt my fingertips slip in the blood as I pressed against her face.
“You won’t,” I tried to assure her, “You’re going to be fine. Just stay awake.”
“I can’t.” The usual spunk in her voice had faded, leaving behind the sound of a twenty year old girl with no fight left in her. “I’m so sorry, Spencer…”
‘Sorry?’ I thought below the horror, ‘for what?’
When her eyes shut, they couldn’t even make it all the way. It was an expression I’d seen before on the field. I wasn’t meant to see it on her.
“No. No, no, wake up.” I urged, patting her cheeks softly before closing my hands around them more tightly, “Wake up, little girl, please.”
I was talking to no one, because I don’t think she could hear me anymore. Absolutely nothing in her body changed, even as the paramedics became more rushed.
“I’ve located the bleed!” The woman beside me yelled as the ambulance began to rapidly slow down. “I’m sorry sir, but we need you to move.”
“Whatever you need. Please, just help her.” I’d said the words, but my actions didn’t follow. She stared down at my hands that were still tethered to (y/n)’s face, trying to provide the warmth that she desperately needed.
Somehow, I was able to wrench them away, only then realizing the bloody handprints I’d left behind. Her face still wasn’t moving.
“Please, I—“
Before I could say another word, they were already out of the ambulance. I followed as closely as I could behind them, trying to focus enough to ensure that every word said could be played again in my mind. Because the second she crossed the threshold into the surgery suite, I wouldn’t be able to hear them anymore.
I would have to wait. I would have to wait for her to be better, or wait for a declaration. And in that vast silence, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop from torturing myself with every single word uttered in this building before the doors closed.
The doors were ahead of us now, and I wished time could slow down enough that I could give her one more kiss and tell her to be strong one more time before she went into the Schrodinger’s Box that was the emergency room operating table.
I wanted to tell her that I loved her, and when the thought crossed my mind, I realized that I’d never said it back. She’d said it three times, but in my adamant denial I’d failed to return it.
It was so much like us, I’d almost laughed. She’d made such a point of worrying about me leaving her, neither of us had ever stopped to think about how I’d live without her.
How would I live without her? The only person I trusted to have an answer was wheeled into the room, the door shutting abruptly in front of me.
In the reflection of the metal door I saw myself, drenched in the dark liquid. I tried to clean my face with my hand only to realize that they, too, were dirty with her blood.
The world had fallen silent, and I let myself be crushed by the overwhelming loneliness of an existence without her.
‘Don’t miss me too much, Dr. Reid.’
It was too late.
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| Part 15 |
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